I just watched a TED conversation by Renny Gleeson who made a great correlation to personal communication and relational development: “A simple mistake can tell me what you aren’t.  Or remind me why I love you”.

When you make a mistake or encounter a relational dead end – do you simply present a blank screen or do you engage the messiness of life and become a better person remind people who you truly are, beyond the mess?

Check out the TED talk and tell me what you think – how do you manage the messy parts of your life?

How can you tell if eggs are good if the expiration date has come and gone?  Unlike milk the telltale signs of bad eggs are less obvious but can be found by attempting to float the egg in water.

The bottom line: If it floats, it’s no good – if it sinks, scramble away.

When we engage tension we rarely get exactly what we want, at first, but our engagement – often as some form of dialogue (whether individuals or even circumstances, such as reconciling with a friend, solving shared problems with others, encountering a foreign situation, chasing/realizing a dream, etc.) – has the ability to allow peace to take hold in our lives.  The end desire of most tension resolution is some of form of balance or contentment found through interacting with, acknowledgement of, and the provision of a relational force allowing tension to change from a passive state to an active state of change.

Many of us seek balance but when I want to go through a life-changing situation I rarely want to do the hard work and seek contentment in the unknown.  I’ve come to realize in the past few months that tension can be scary – it doesn’t matter if it’s relational, situational, etc. – but it can also be exciting, if you engage it, because that same tension which is scary to encounter will be the same force that brings about good and probably helps you to realize more about yourself than you would have imagined when it’s successfully engaged.

Share Your Thoughts – For you, what’s the most difficult part of engaging tension in your life?

From the mouth of Jimmy Kimmel – technology, Twitter in particular, has ‘completely revolutionized how we ignore our families…”.  Perhaps said touch in cheek but there’s probably something legitimate in that statement.

Will technology ever cause us to forget to actually communicate with one another?  Probably note but it has indeed changed how we we approach relationships.  Just in case we forget the human art of talking to one another, Jimmy Kimmel presents some effective techniques in speaking with one another, transitioning from technology:

Any other suggestions on how best to communicate with one another in the event of a technology apocalypse?

Words and thus communication belong to each of us individuals, responsible for the action and behavior that accompanies each utterance.  Gordon MacDonald, author of Ordering Your Private World, states that “men and women were originally created to desire communion with God” through conversation, dialogue, etc. should tell us that communication holds great potential to be very good but as a result of the fall it carries with it to be bad.  The essence of communication is that it is meant to be good and is unable to be neutral as our hearts are unable to be neutral, that is void of feeling.  Paul Tripp, in his talk War on Words at John Piper’s 2008 Desiring God conference, conveys this sentiment saying that “word problems are heart problems… [which present a problem of] organic consistency between what’s in our heart and what’s in our mouth”.  There is no on or off switch to our words (our thoughts) and if we try to think our way into a different meaning there is still a good or bad qualitative nature attached to our words.  This means we must continually determine whether each moment, thought, and word belongs to the ‘kingdom of self or the kingdom of God’ and apply the redemptive power God has given us to change (Tripp, 2008).  In this process we heed the warning to choose ‘hot’ or ‘cold’ over the lukewarm nature of our hearts (Revelation 3:16, NIV) and be formed in His image rather than our own.

This was spoken to me in jest recently and I had to pause and take note of how many times we try to find non-human workarounds in communications simply because we don’t want to deal with the ‘messy’ stuff in life.  Also, sometimes we decide make unilateral communicative decisions removing the dialogue function out of communication altogether.  Often times we look at the human element as interrupting or blocking our communication processes when in fact human interaction is essential to effective communication.  Yes, there are times that we need to make decisions without or above the influence of others but removing the relational component of communication is dangerous and weakens the tangible results of constructive dialogue.

Do you ever seem to problems with connecting people?  Sometimes I do and I have to be honest that my first reaction is to give up on initiating the friendship.  While I’m no expert, the times that I stick with it and find room for growth and common ground are the times that I grow the most relationally and spiritually.  Sometimes, you have to find the diamond in the rough even when all you want is simplicity.

Are there any times you think that we shouldn’t push through in a relationship and ‘give up’ as it were because commonalities seem non-existent?

Here’s your moment of Zen – NYC traffic congestion.  Sadly, I wish this was all staged but as they say some most outrageous things in life just can’t be made up or in this case staged.

3-Way Street from ronconcocacola on Vimeo.

Special thanks to my friend Jason for originally sharing this with me – Follow him on Twitter or Read His Blog – you’ll thank me later.

Discipline is the mindful art of believing in a different, better self.

Yes, there is much more to discipline than this but if you do not believe that the potential exists to be better or different – if you’re satisfied with the status quo – than there is little that the act of discipline will do but to be a hindrance to your well being.

How does/has discipline formed your life in the past?

Your Spirit
By Tim Bogus

Your Holy Spirit fills my soul
Like the juice that quenches the thirsty body.

Not half empty,
Not half full,

The amount’s just right
Like you already knew.

You are the pitcher of life
That fills every needing soul.

The mighty river runs through
The parched valley longing for life.

A self-reliance on ourselves may make us short-term heroes but eventually we will become our own worst enemies by not trusting others.

When have you trusted others to your benefit?  Are there any situations which aren’t good for trusting others?

I write this to simply note that the online relationships that I’ve created are not the same as the ones that I share in real life but there is something unique to the setting that separates these from others.  Perhaps it’s the context or the timing but it’s undeniable that there is a sense of connection formed with certain individuals that I’ve never met.

The bond is the shared experiences and leads to me to believe that where and how you connect with someone is not the important part that matters to relationships but rather it’s that you do connect and cohabitate with others in a similar setting that really matters.

This experience changes my opinion of online communities slightly – most importantly it gets me thinking about how each setting (whether online or offline) allows for different types of connection and communication.

How do you see online versus offline communities?  To you, do they hold different value and benefits?

If it’s your turn to finish the conversation, finish it.

Don’t allow or expect the other side to finish for you.

Own your thoughts and your turn – their thoughts are not your words.  You are the only one who truly knows what you want to say.

There’s an interesting habit in human nature.  We mimic the behavior around us.

I don’t want to sound like I’m excluding myself from this classification.  I wonder, though, if we truly understand the implications of how our actions rub off on those around us?

Do we understand the implications of our moods on others?

Do I understand the implications of my attitude on others?

I’ve always been intrigued by the power of a smile.  Often times I’ve ‘accused’ of being foolish/silly/crazy/immature and while one or more those may be true, I’ve been continually asked why I behave like I do.

For me that’s a very simple answer – I love to see people smile. I love to make people smile and, yes, I often do it at my own expense.  Smiling is quite possibly the easiest way to spread and breed positivity in the face of negativity.

I’ve noticed this first hand in my own life over the past few weeks, in both situations.  There have been times that my attitude has been affected by those around me and there have been times that I know that I have affected those around me with a less than cheery attitude.

Are you catching the infinite loop and paradox that we create with negativity?  If we will allow ourselves to be negative we will cause others to become negative.  If we are negative, the others inherit the attitude from us.  Positivity is the only break in the cycle of negativity.

It’s my responsibility and your responsibility to fight negativity with positivity.  You may not want to break the negativity what if we’re really affected by the attitudes of each other and we all strive for positivity then I think we could all live in and enjoy a different world.

Change can start small but you could be a positive force in someone else’s life.

The essence of this statement is saying ‘if you provide margin in what you do, you’ll be rewarded and chances are others will reward you as well for being gracious in our actions.

We all desire margin in our lives and we should desire it in the lives of others because if we give it, we’ll receive it.

In our friendships, business transactions, conversations, relationships – the list goes on.

To be clear: I’m not saying you should set your standards low but imagine if we set our expectations and promises at a realistically acceptable level and then worked our butts off to shower our friends, co-workers, partners and, yes, even our enemies with added value that leaves them asking who we’re living for.

Nifty, huh?

Next time you have an opportunity to serve someone, first meet their needs then knock their socks off.

Jesus said – “If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.”

Under promise (meet their needs) then over deliver (add extra value) to the relationship.

Tuesday – Super Tuesday: I’m politics junkie unfortunately and it’s been a really great primary season.

Wednesday – The iPad 3 will probably be announced as well as the Apple TV (?).  Also, I’ll hopefully be going to the Nets/Clippers game at the Prudential Center to watch Blake Griffin.

Thursday – This is the deadline for Peyton Manning’s bonus option renewal with the Colts.  Will he stay with the Colts?  I think so but not with the same contract.

Saturday – I’m going to hit up the Greenwich Village Country Club; it should be a hoot – indoor mini-golf and bocce ball, here I come!  All in NYC.

Columbus challenged the prevailing thoughts of the day without any educated basis or rationale. Columbus’ actions essentially amounted to a theory and intense belief in a *radical idea*.

Are we living as we should? What ideas in the past 500 years have been so radical and changed the world collective as much as those of Christopher Columbus?

What idea, passion, thought, invention, opportunity, and the list goes on – have WE been sitting on because the prevailing thought is against us and yet we still intensely believe in our idea, passion, thought, invention, opportunity and DO NOTHING?

What are we missing out on – what knowledge has God given us that we’re just sitting on because it goes against the intellectual community? For some this may be something that isn’t a tangible idea but maybe it’s acting in a radical way that could reshape our world for the better.

What if something we believed had the potential to change the world for the better and unlike Columbus we allowed ourselves to be content with what the world thought was possible?

What if we all TRULY believed that we could change the world with our actions and ideas? Maybe – we could make this a better place to live – maybe a place that would bring more peace and love than we have now.

What if we weren’t content?

This world has the potential to be a very different place; it could be a better place and maybe, just maybe, by doing so we could bring something a little better to this world and that wouldn’t be such a bad thing…

Personally, I believe THIS is the life God has called us to live – we need to become more radical in our thinking to make things happen – be willing to accept that popular thinking won’t suffice.

What opportunity/idea/action have you sat on and goes against the status quo?  How can you make a difference?

Umbrellas do not belong on the street during snowy weather.

Snowy weather is why God gave us the brilliant fashion accessory – the scarf!  Resist the temptation to use an umbrella this season.  Instead bundle up and enjoy the snow!

You know one reason why we shouldn’t use umbrellas in snowy weather?  Try catching a snowflake underneath an umbrella!  Pretty hard, isn’t it?

Enjoy the snow, New York.  It’s a great early Christmas present to all New Yorkers!

These are words that have become a part of my vocabulary and a part of my streaming consciousness over the past several weeks.  While unpleasant for many due to economic constraints, this past year has been the catalyst that’s reignited forgotten dreams and has brought about the desire to make changes that are more attuned to God’s dream for the lives of many people I know around the world.

I too have found myself on this path, going back to school, and am incredibly humbled to share my journey with others and vice-versa.  It is sometimes hard for me to explain in my own walk when moments of unexplainable ‘tough’ periods crop up.  For those on a possibly similar path, I’d like to share some encouragement from a favorite author of mine, Erwin McManus:

“I lament that it has become an accepted part of pop theology that the safest place to be is in the center of the will of God…  Whatever the motivation, the result has brought more damage than good.The center of God’s will is not a safe place, but the most dangerous place in the world.  To live outside God’s will puts us in danger, but to live in His will makes us dangerous.  God moves with intentionality and power.  When we begin to seize our divine moments, we do not begin to live risk-free, but instead become free to risk.Erwin McManus, Chasing Daylight (page 151)”

We are forging a new life, something we know to be unique to who we are and who God wants us to be.  To my brothers and sisters on God’s journey: Stay strong, you’re not alone.

Much Love.

I wrote: One of few constants in the world is change. I’m beginning to see this as a *great* thing!

I wanted to expound on this ~140 character tweet and give some nuggets of thought behind it, if merely for the fact that I think this is some good stuff that’s taken me some time to figure out, am still figuring out, and is definitely worth sharing!

I really do think change is a great thing.  However, for me, change is not easy.  I feel, sometimes, it is painfully hard and I don’t like it.  A lot.

The change I’m referring to is not the ‘small stuff’ but the big life changes we all experience and grow from as a result.  The type of change that God instills in our lives and pushes us to figure out who He wants us to be.  This type of change is hard, difficult, and is easily pushed aside for the status quo.

Through a lot of prayer, meditation, and counsel I am beginning to see benefits, at least in my own life, that change has brought, is bringing, and can bring if I embrace it:

• I do not like the status quo.  Not just in my personal life but all around me, within certain thresholds.  Even if I don’t show it all of the time.  Even though there are constants in life and in the world, I treat too many other things as the status quo when they shouldn’t be.  Change or a more ‘evolving’ way of living is the only way to break the status quo.  However, lets not get too much of a post-modern thought process underway…
• I’m at my best when I’m being stretched.  Change is bringing new variables into my life that is forcing me to stretch my knowledge and understanding of what I know and how I react.  I’m learning new things about myself, life, and the world I probably wouldn’t have otherwise.
• Living a constant life takes what fun we have on Earth and turns it into a more mundane way of living.  If you’ve seen Stranger Than Fiction with Will Ferrell you know where I’m coming from with this.

I hope you guys enjoyed these thoughts; at the very least, though, this is a plug to get you to follow me on twitter or to friend me Facebook if you haven’t already!

I don’t why but this might possibly the single weirdest thing that has ever happened in my life.  I have never had this happen before.

I mean, I’ve had good friends point these things out to me – sometimes in jest, sometimes in frank seriousness – but never has it been two random strangers adding it to the conversation like that.

Wow – I guess you really never know what you’re going to get in New York City (and that’s probably why I love the City so much!)…

Very Weird.

The Four Year Journey
By Tim Bogus

He was an average kid two years ago,
An eager junior, ready to leave.
He had many problems, he wished for one thing:
He wished he really could ask Jeeves.

Loaded with ‘corn’ and ‘cheese’ for sure, but I love what my creative writing teacher had to say, complete in red ink:

“Please . . .   NO . . .”

This poem, albeit the last one I wrote for the class, was definitely not the crowning achievement in that creative writing class.  I’m going to share some other retro poems with you over the next few days and I hope you enjoy them.

Oh – if there’s enough of a popular demand I’ll post the rest of The Four Year Journey. Leave a comment if you want to see the rest of it but like I said it’s good, but definitely nowhere near a crowning achievement – they call it a class for a reason!

• Promote Your Business
• Show Real Estate Listings
• Conduct Virtual Field Trips
• Scout Event Locations

Why You Should Care:

Using Google Maps Street View on your website will personify there user’s experience and will also allow recognition of your company to somebody who hasn’t been there before.

Whenever I visit a business or go to a new neighborhood, here in New York City, more often times than not I will Google and ‘Street View’ the location and neighborhood.  Many times it has prepared me to look for landmarks and recognize personal safety concerns when traveling to ‘questionable’ neighborhoods.

Streets View allows you to:

1. Enhance your user’s experience
2. Increase your marketing appeal
3. Enable visitors to recognize your location
4. Increase your customer’s confidence

Share your comments on how you use Streets View on your website.

Each time I go to my hometown in Indiana I’m often asked in one way or another why I live in New York City because the pervasive reality of New York City is that not every type of person would like to live in the City because of the hassles and the questions are numerous as to why I live in New York City.

Oddly enough, I struggle to describe the reason I live New York, in coherent manner, not because of a lack of endearment for the City but because of a lack of words that can correctly embody the sentiment I carry of the opportunities and hope that this City has given to my life and can give to so many.

After four years, almost to the day, I think I may have finally found something that gets closer to what I mean to say each time when I ramble on:

“New York is not a static thing – It’s not ‘New York is…,’ it’s ‘New York is becoming…‘”

Kenneth T. Jackson – Historian
The American Experience: New York, Episode Four

For me, New York is where the opportunity is.  Due to the transient nature it is also the most exciting because once you’ve in New York you’ll always take a little bit of that back with you.

This is why I love New York.

Have a great Fourth of July everybody – Don’t blow yourselves up!

Before you question someone’s attitude,  first question your own attitude.

If we did this, I think we’d surprised by what we find…

Over the past couple of weeks my friend, Brian Moll, who’s the lead pastor at FF, has started this series by delving into intimacy and relationships (among other topics) pulling context from the Old Testament and relating to and incorporating teachings from the New Testament.

While a lot of profound of thoughts have been presented and I’d encourage you to head over to the church’s website and checkout the vod/podcasts, I’ve had a lot of thoughts swirly around my head in regards to my own relational condition.

The one thought that keeps coming up but that I keep fighting is that I don’t have this thing (meaning relationships) figured out and never will.  Deep down, there is a part of me that wants to master friendship and perfect the art form of relationships and I see this as a black and white situation rather than in shades of gray that it really is.  At the end of the day I’m yet a novice in the world of friendships and relationships, continually learning and honing.

I’m at a place where I’m having to (painfully) admit this to myself.

You may wonder why I’m sharing this with you.  Often times, I think all of us, either in practicality or in our spirituality, at one time or another think we’ve mastered a skill or honed an ability to the point and we forget to take care of it and keep it tuned.

I’ve come a long way from my early college days – six years ago – of being jokingly called an ‘anti-social butterfly’ but just because I’ve made great leaps and bounds (in my opinion) shouldn’t mean that I should want to accept the status quo and say that there aren’t areas of my social fiber I wouldn’t like to change.

I believe that while we can never master the friendships or relationships in our life it doesn’t mean we should stop trying.  Not everything will work to your or my advantage but the human condition provide an infinite opportunity for improving one’s personal and relational life.  This is something I’ve realized I need to take advantage more of in my own life.

Take a look over the list below and shoot me an email or post in the comments below if you’re interested! A lot of these books would be good for teaching someone who needs to learn the basics!

I’ll have more books when I go home and clean my room at parent’s house in July – so stay tuned!

• Web Security for Network and System Administrators – 5 Discs (Red Hat Linux 5.0)
• Murach’s ASP.NET – web programming with VB.NET
• Access 2002 – Complete Concepts and Techniques
• Introduction to Java Programming (covers Java 1.5)
  - basic theory; old concepts but probably still good for a beginner
• Concepts of Database Management
• Programming in Visual Basic .NET – 1 disc, which I believe is VB.NET
• Flash MX – Graphics, Animation & Interactivity – with learning CD
• Creating Web Pages with HTML and Dynamic HTML – great learning guide

• Arguing Through Literature – A Thematic Anthology and Guide to Academic Writing
• World History – Volume II – Since 11550: The Age of Global Integration

* I’ll be offering these for free – so grab them while they’re hot! I’ll be in Indiana in July if you want to grab them from me then – let me know ahead of time!

As I was going through everything I uncovered a lot of lost relics that brought up memories of the past four years and beyond. As I was deciding what to do with the stuff (whether to throw, keep, or donate) I was just struck with an odd sense of placing values on my memories and deciding which items to keep and which ones to throw. I was very quick to think of throwing away photos and objects that reminded me of the less than pleasant periods of my life.

I’m a very sentimental person and am a strong believer in remembering the entire past because of the lessons learned from the good and bad situations. However, today I was caught with the thought how much weight we place on our memories and how given life’s roller coaster mentality we should never completely let go of the past, lest we choose to not forge a different and hopefully better future.

Never deliberately and quickly choose to ignore (or forget) the not so pleasant memories of your past because, if my life is any indication of yours, the greatest moments of my life have been built upon on the weakest moments on which I chose to forge a better future.

In today’s Friday Night Movie – Conan brings us a commentary on the state of media today. (Yes, it’s a commercial, but Conan makes everything funny!)