Time Enough For Love

Governance of relationships

noreply@blogger.com (Paul) — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 07:49:00 +0000

So, then I was thinking to myself about the nature of relationships. It's important to define what sort of relationship, because there are many. I'm referring to ... romantic relationships I guess is a reasonable description. You know between a man and a woman. Well, in my case it's between a man and a woman, but I think this applies to gay and lesbian relationships also. But I'm digressing.

An ideal relationship in my opinion, is not a democracy. Rather I'd think of it as two nations governed by their own dictator. Each nation is free to decide what they want to do with their time. In other words, nobody's obligated to do anything with their time that they don't want to do. I.e. obligation sucks. If one Nation A wants Nation B to do something, then Nation A should make known the reasoning and if Nation B sees the reasoning, Nation B will do it. Not because they're obligated, but because they see the reasoning and accept it. Neato. And it applies both ways.

What matters?

noreply@blogger.com (Paul) — Tue, 11 May 2010 08:50:00 +0000

I was speaking to a friend the other day and he mentioned that he'd like to have a house with "centralised" music. You know, you playback a song in one room and it's heard throughout the house.

Today I'm thinking, what kind of goal is this? Where is the value? What kind of society produces goals like this? No doubt, being part of this society, many of my goals are similarly trivial. But I wonder where's the worth..

Better goals, surely, are those such as "I want to be kind in areas of my life where I should have been kind but failed", "I want to share where I've failed to share", "I want to love where I've failed to love", and "I want to engage so deeply in life, experience things so completely and so fully, that I become utterly lost in the wonder and mystery that is life and is love"... Ok so that last one's a bit too wishy washy. But I'm happy to argue it's completely valid.

Maybe for some people having centralised music is a pathway to greater fulfillment in life, a way to find deeper meaning. On the whole, I doubt it. In my opinion, we've lost site of the goals that matter.

bit odd...

noreply@blogger.com (Paul) — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 08:50:00 +0000

Something that's common (in my experience) to at least romantic relationships and work. When things are going good, you kind of sit back and automatically think of all the other good things that have happened and you form an opinion that things have always been good and will always be good. The reverse also is true (in my experience anyway). When something bad happens, you automatically think of all the other bad things that have happened and form the opinion that things are pretty much bad all the time. It's so hard to reach for the good stuff.

Now why is this.. would be an interesting question to answer. Some psychology thing no doubt. However regardless of why, if we bear both of the above situations in mind, it's useful information is it not? It's really the same as the "and this too shall come to pass" quote. When things are bad we can try and accept that things have not always been this way, and that helps us hang on (presumably if things are terrible we need to consider letting it go). Also, when things are good, we can learn to hold those situations more closely and appreciate them more deeply because we know it doesn't last forever. And maybe it's that knowledge, that the good times don't last forever, that helps us make the good times last longer.

Religion..

noreply@blogger.com (Paul) — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 11:04:00 +0000

..to me, basically, is not much more than an attempt to define what we're not able to define (i.e. any kind of deity) and then to provide instructions for how to kind of get control of the deity in question. For instance if you do such-and-such (e.g. be nice to others, donate money to church, etc) then the deity will have to provide something that you wanted in return.

(Note that I can really only comment on the religion I was raised in - Christianity - although I do think many others religions have a similar agenda to the one above.)

Holidays and life

noreply@blogger.com (Paul) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 03:05:00 +0000

Having just had a month off work and visited the land of the long white cloud, I obtained a perspective that might be worth pondering on and getting down on (digital) paper. Might not. I'm going to go with it though!! - I'm not afraid! hahaha

Right. Perspective. Holidays. Aren't they interesting. I'm talking your typical time off away from work. You know your working, working, working, arrange for some leave, get back to working, working, looking forward to that holiday, working, working, looking forward even more, etc, etc. Chances are, you know the drill.

We get more excited as the Last Day At Work looms closer and closer. Then, YES!!!! by god I'm outta here. One thing that's on ya mind is that you won't need to be back at work For Some Time. And this is a good feeling. Then you're off, maybe chilling at home, maybe setting off on a trip. Doesn't matter. What's interesting is that invariably a little timer starts somewhere back in the recesses of your mind. This counter takes care of How Long Until I Have To Go Back To Work. And, the closer that particular date comes, the more attention we give the counter, the more we try to wring happiness from the holiday, and invariably, the less happy we are. This unhappiness has to, well, does in my case at least, decrease the enjoyment of the holiday.

The reasons for this behaviour (observed only in myself) are interesting. There's the obvious work=crap, time off=fun. But there's something else of value. Humans are "time bound", living in the dimension of time. And a big part of our security system is knowing that what's coming up is cool. So when a holiday is coming up, we know that what's coming up is cool; and that's a reason for happiness. Conversely, of course, when that's coming to and end the opposite is true - there's reason for unhappiness. Would a better approach be to think, "Today, I can only live today. I cannot live tomorrow, or yesterday for that matter. Why don't I think only of today and live today in a way that I can be proud of myself? And so, today I have off, and that's wonderful, and there's reason to be happy." How much better would your holiday be? More relaxing? Having given this a whirl during my holiday (and not very well), for me, it's better... Better yet (and this is beyond me, for now at least), is to engage life so fully, so completely, that any moment is as wonderful as the next. Regardless of who we're with, what we're doing, etc, etc. Today I would struggle to get there. It's like I'm on a mountain, and I can see this wonderful attitude at the top, but I'm only part way up. There's work to be done to get up there. But, there's immediate reward for my efforts as the better I get, the more capable I am to engage life. And that's pretty cool. Even if I never make it to the top.

Just a bit of a postscript, bit of a P.S... this attitude we bring towards our holidays, you know, beginning - yay, ending - boooo. Don't we display a remarkably similar attitude towards our lives? And, maybe this is a question we all need to ponder, does the fear of the end (i.e. death) reduce or enhance our enjoyment of life? Hmmmm......

"Justify Your Existence"

noreply@blogger.com (Paul) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 07:58:00 +0000

Was cycling home just now - love cycling. And saw a "Justify Your Existence" sticker on the back of a car. Assumption - the author of this sticker intended this to be read as "justify your existence to others". I think that's a fair assumption. So it's one of these motivational sayings designed to motivate one to "great heights".

I have two observations. Firstly if someone isn't going to respect me because I can't "justify my existence" to them - good stuff, I don't want their respect and if I don't have their respect they're less likely to be in my life. Even better. Secondly if I'm in a position where I need to "justify my existence" to someone in order to feel ok about myself - I have a problem. I'm too wrapped up in what other's want of me, I'm probably better off spending time deciding what I want for me.

There's too much trying to please others in this life I think - well at least in this society. Ricky Nelson had it right when he sang "you can't please everyone so you got to please yourself".

Kinda random thought.. kinda

noreply@blogger.com (Paul) — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 07:11:00 +0000

I don't need to know where I was before this life (if anywhere).
I don't need to know where I'll be after this life (if anywhere).
What I need to know is I have today... I have this moment.
What else can be wished for? What else can be known?

Three level of idiocy

noreply@blogger.com (Paul) — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 02:16:00 +0000

Got a (minor) migraine. These things suck bad. Anyway, was thinking of going home from work, but I got a lot of things to do here, so essentially I'm putting work ahead of health. My girlfriend pointed out the rubber ball analogy thing I've thrown at her when she's done the same. All I could do was agree. I then concluded there's three levels of idiocy, level one being most idiotic and level three least:

Perform idiocy and attempt to justify it
Perform idiocy and acknowledge it's idiodic
Don't perform idiocy

My idiocy would therefore be a level two idiocy. Hmm, room for improvement...

Weight loss tip #1

noreply@blogger.com (Paul) — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 02:34:00 +0000

If you're not hungry, don't eat.

Short and to the point. And effective imo. Sure, weight loss can be much more effective when combined with good nutrition and exercising, but, even when taken in isolation, I think it works wonders.

what people see

noreply@blogger.com (Paul) — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 22:59:00 +0000

I think, generally speaking, people see what they want to see - not what they see.

If that makes any sense!

Baptism - what is it (good for)?

noreply@blogger.com (Paul) — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 08:08:00 +0000

Just thinking the other day about baptism. I was baptised but I'm thinking I don't really care if my children (should the universe be unfortunate enough for me to have any haha) are baptised. I certainly don't see a reason for it. Personally I'm not seeking to appease a god who would damn a child's soul to hell because a particular ritual had not been carried out on the child. We surely must call into question the ethics of a god that would damn a child under these circumstances. I certainly wouldn't refer to such a god as "loving". Quite the opposite.

Words I don't know: Archetypal

noreply@blogger.com (Paul) — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 09:06:00 +0000

Was reading something about Harley's and they being archetypal of something or other. Not much of a Harley fan. Give me a good bandit any day. Anyway, didn't know what that meant, so - this post.

Archetype: the original pattern or model of which all things of the same type are representations or copies.

Aha. It all makes sense now. (c: Anyone else hear that siren?? Driving me nuts!! haha

The width of a thread from a spider's web

noreply@blogger.com (Paul) — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 11:11:00 +0000

In Katie Melua's excellent song Spider's Web, she asks:

If a black man is racist is it okay if it's the white man's racism that made him that way?

My answer is, of course it's not ok. If someone's racist, I'm not really interested in whatever excuse they might have, it's still wrong. So, no, not ok.

Very nice song tho. (c:

Thursdays....

noreply@blogger.com (Paul) — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 11:14:00 +0000

And today's not even one of them.

Anyways. Was thinking Thursdays are a bit odd. In a way. I mean, when it's Thursday morning, before work (assuming you work, if you don't this probably doesn't count), you've still got two whole days of work left - 40% of the work week. Still to go. Which isn't odd. The thing that's odd, is you've only got *one* sleep until the weekend, which is like 20% of the week nights (assuming you count Sunday night).

Well, not all that strange I guess. haha

Words I don't know: Laconic

noreply@blogger.com (Paul) — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 08:44:00 +0000

Never heard of this one - until just now of course. (c: Coodabeens are talking about it. Definition:

adj. Using or marked by the use of few words; terse or concise.

Ok, sentence with it in... "This is a laconic sentence." hahaha

The things some people deal with

noreply@blogger.com (Paul) — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 08:07:00 +0000

Two posts in a day. Good lord.

I'm listening to the Coodabeens, nice way to close off a Sunday arvo. They were talking about colds, with their listeners, and a lady rang up to chat about colds and how she doesn't get them. She disclosed she has lost both legs, one arm, and is now blind. I can't begin to imagine how one adjusts to that. It's astounding what level of, what I'd call "suffering", is out there. How extremely difficult life must be for some of us. I can't even deal with the thought of people living lives like that - let alone facing the possibility (as we all do) of somehow ending up in a similar situation myself.

Words I don't know: Misogyny

noreply@blogger.com (Paul) — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 07:16:00 +0000

Was reading a book the other day. A book full of information about a veritable kaleidoscope of tasks. Anyway, I was flipping thru it the other day, and one task it listed was improving your vocabulary. Basically it said to keep a notebook (check) and whenever you come across a word you don't know, write it in there, with it's definition (once ya find it). Thought it might give me something to blog about. First word: misogyny. Found it whilst reading one of Jack's columns. Definition:

n. Hatred of women: “Every organized patriarchal religion works overtime to contribute its own brand of misogyny”

I though, my god, what a sad civilisation we are that we need such a word. That there must be people out there that are misogynistic (whoa look at that vocabulary fly!) is a reason for sadness I think. I'm struggling to think how this might come about, but it must be a very unhappy situation for all concerned.

Sentence with it in: "Misogyny is something the world should seek to understand and then eradicate." (c:

Patriotism - a form of discrimination?

noreply@blogger.com (Paul) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 03:59:00 +0000

(WARNING: I've been in to the Johnny Walker Black Label.)

Yeah, I'd say "yes" to that. I mean, when someone says "I love my country", what does that mean? It has to be a comparison to other countries. That someone is basically saying "Compared to other countries, mine is better". Is that a good idea? Does it matter? Just because your country may have better attributes than another country (for instance less homeless, less unemployed, more skilful athletes, lower crime, all of the above, whatever), is that a reason to feel good about oneself? Your country's better than someone else's, therefore there's a reason for some kind of celebration? Yeah, look, I don't think so. What does it matter if my country has better attributes than someone else's? Why should I rejoice in that? I mean, low crime for instance is a *good* thing, but if my country has lower crime than another's should I feel proud about that? Should I say "Well I'm Australian, we have a low crime rate, therefore I'm proud I'm Australian and not a ."? No, I don't think so. I think I'd be better served saying something like "I'm Australian, we have a low crime rate, I'm thankful of that, and I shall try and understand the situation of " and not try and highlight that I'm somehow "better" than that country's residents. That's nonsense. Where's the value in gloating over someone else's misfortune?

And yeah, I've been proud of say, the Australian cricket team. But I ask myself, why? Because my country's team can beat others - why is that a source of happiness? Good lord, that's absurd. It doesn't matter, it's not important. Well, what's important? Being kind to others. Helping others. Trying to understand other's situation. Looking at myself and, like that old saying goes, being the change I want to see in the world.

Anyway, my glass is empty. Time for a refill I'm guessing. (c:

Praying for the team

noreply@blogger.com (Paul) — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 07:42:00 +0000

Incidentally, there's so much about the Australia Cricket team that I don't like. They seem to be very arrogant to me. But it's more than that. There's a trend in our society towards a kind of political correctness that's trending towards the inhuman. Took a while to think of that word, but it's the one. We're human. We're fun. You try and convert something organic to plastic, and wrap it in plastic, and distribute in plastic, dehumanise it and make it the province of the unreal, and then ram 100 tons of political correctness up it's ass, and it loses something. Anyway, that may not make sense, but I'm digressing, so ya get no elaboration from me.

The real subject. I'm watching the final moments of the match against India. And goddamn it's coming down to the wire. There's a kid in the crowd, *praying* for his team. Well, he damned well appeared to be praying, but I could be wrong. The first question that came to me - why is the kid doing this, *praying* to a diety to grant his team victory? The answer (in my mind anyway) is that someone's told him it's ok to pray to his diety for a team's victory. Ok, this person must believe in an interventionist god. Once you believe in that, you simply must acknowledge that this god is responsible for every tragedy to ever befall mankind. ie if the god can intervene in human activity they can prevent human tragedies, but choose not to. This god allows, or even instigates, horrors we would not believe. Sadistic monstrosities. Allows babies to be born with AIDS, and allows children watch their parents be tortured and killed. And vice versa. What absurdity to then ask this vicious demonic god, "please allow my team to win this match." Ridiculous. I think people need to engage their brain a bit more often. If there is an interventionist god, it is a sadistic monster.

The ultimate answer to the ultimate question

noreply@blogger.com (Paul) — Sun, 09 Dec 2007 10:10:00 +0000

And, no, I don't mean 42!

The question is, "What happens when we die?". I mean, we know what happens to the body. It decays (or is cremated). The question is, what happens to *us*?

And ya know what. I don't believe there's a person alive that knows the answer. The interesting thing is, that doesn't stop us from making up some answers. See, humans generally hate uncertainty. And when uncertainty occurs when we ask perhaps the deepest, most critical question we humans are able to ask, we don't like it at all. I think this is where most religions come from. You know, "Well when we die, we go to heaven, if we're good. Isn't that comforting. Yeah. Let's believe that. Even better, I can use this power to make you conform to my standards." So, we get organised religion. Which generally requires people to turn their brains off in order to believe. Mind you, I think atheism has similar issues. "Well, when you die, *nothing* happens. You're gone brother. So make the most of this life." I like this answer better, but it's still requiring certainty when there is no certainty. They *say* there's nothing, but I don't see how the hell they *know* that. In fact, in my opinion, they don't. And, to a lesser extent than the religious folk, they too turn their brains off to believe what they believe.

Which leaves the "I don't know what happens when we die" agnostic camp. Where I am, for now anyway. I'd like to have an answer to the "what happens when I die" question. But in a way, this uncertainty is a gift. A strange, "dark" gift perhaps, but a gift. If I can make some kind of sense, some kind of meaningful life, from such grand impenetrable uncertainty ... I think that's pretty special. To walk forward into a life where there are no rules, no guarantees, no security, and perhaps embrace these strange gifts. Somehow ... I like it. (c:

Edit (31/3): Here's a quote that I think sums this up nicely:

Don't know is very important. “What am I?” Don’t know…“Where is my mind?” Don’t know… “When I was born, where did I come from?” Don’t know… “When I die, where do I go?” Don’t know… And actually, you really don’t know, in the deepest, truest sense. And it is very important to look into that.
Seung Sahn

Fraser Island Great Walk GPS Campsite Coordinates

noreply@blogger.com (Paul) — Sun, 25 Nov 2007 07:50:00 +0000

Hmm. Bit of a departure from my normal stuff. Did the Fraser Island Great Walk a few days ago. Pre-walk, I wanted a list of GPS coordinates for the campsites. Couldn't find 'em. So I thought I'd post 'em post-walk. Here they are (this is not a complete list, doesn't contain any coords for sites north of Wabby):

Lake Boomanjin S25 33.502 E153 04.013
Lake Benaroon S25 30.932 E153 02.995
Central Station S25 28.462 E153 03.540
Lake McKenzie S25 26.768 E153 02.972
Lake Wabby S25 27.186 E153 07.398

Incidentally. While I'm at it, this was a poorly set up hike compared to the NZ ones I've done. I mean, the hike was *fantastic*, but some of the decisions the track-designers must have made are very strange, and impact the hike in a negative fashion - in my opinion. For instance none of the campsites have any kind of view of the nearby scenery (usually a gorgeous lake). Why not? In fact, the campsite near Wabby, wasn't really near at all. You had to hike a coupla kilometres to get there - down a steep hill! The mind boggles. And some drongo had recently put motor oil all over the tables at the campsites at Wabby and McKenzie. What the .. ?? I mean, sure, it's to make them last longer. But for fuck's sake, they're tables! You don't put oil all over tables unless you're brain is either switched off or non-existent. Whoever made *that* decision does not have the interest of the hikers in mind whatsoever. Some sites also suffered from poor (or non-existent) signage - where to find water, where to hike to next, that kinda thing. Many little issues. These people should do a coupla NZ great walks and see how things are done properly.

Regardless, Fraser Island is a truly beautiful place. The hike was brilliant too - even with the stoopid problems mentioned above. (c:

Nice ride!

noreply@blogger.com (Paul) — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 12:01:00 +0000

Did this ride today. Lot's of fun! (c:

Would God be convicted of the murder of Jesus?

noreply@blogger.com (Paul) — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 08:15:00 +0000

Interesting question?

For those that are unaware, according to the bible, God (omnipotent btw) decided that he required the brutal execution of Jesus of Nazareth in order to be able to forgive his (God's) own creations.

(Mind you, most Christians wouldn't put it this way, but I challenge anyone to point out an inaccuracy.)

So, would this God be convicted of murder if he could be put on trial? For starters, this execution idea was God's. He thought it up. He didn't consider, or he rejected, the simple idea of forgiving out of kindness. God needed a brutal slaying of his only son. Don't ask me why. Secondly he could have prevented it (he's omnipotent don't forget), but chose not to. There's also at least *some* direct involvement (I kinda remember something about God influencing Judas to betray Jesus - in my opinion God's got some answering to do for that as well), plus he created everything and everyone, so that means there's definitely some involvement there.

I think he'd be found guilty. Of something! I'm not a legal expert, but I think this is about as close as you get to murdering someone without actually pulling the trigger (or hammering in the nails?).

Racing a bird

noreply@blogger.com (Paul) — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 07:43:00 +0000

This morning I raced a bird on my bicycle. It was *exhilarating*. It wasn't just the bird, it was a whole range of things, the bird, the morning, the exertion, the weather, the race, all colliding at the same time.. What's that quote:

For an instant, I am absent, myself and my problems, my anxieties, my troubles: nothing but this wonder exists.
Krishnamurti

Weekends

noreply@blogger.com (Paul) — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 23:36:00 +0000

*Everyone* I know, including me (although do I know me?), anyway, everyone I know looks forward to the weekend. There's lots of reasons. We have a lot more freedom to do what we want to do, we don't have to work, we can spend time with family and friends, all that nice stuff. So, naturally, we look forward to it. It gives us a kind of "high" to look forward to it, and a high as we experience the weekend.

I was thinking the other day, does this "high" naturally create a "low" when it comes to an end? The weekend high, I think, is created by a comparison to the week days. So, the weekend is "better" than a weekday. Which in turn means, a weekday is *worse* than a weekend. So, as the weekend ends, we have to move from a relatively "high state" to a relatively lower state.

Is this whole weekend process a good thing? Bad? Neither here nor there? I don't know. Does the "up" require a "down"? If we remove the down, do we remove the up? Don't know. What happens if we get neither excited nor depressed at the prospects of a weekend and the subsequent return to work? I think this last point is worth pondering... And mayhap (now there's a cool word) that's what I'll do.