Time to Show My Face and Take the Stigma Away

Why My Ex and Best Friend Li and I Broke Up After 10 Years Together and Married Legally

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Tue, 16 Oct 2018 20:08:00 GMT

This is a blog about our immigration nightmare and what we have been suffering in silence since 2008.

Where do I start this very hard blog to write? I guess from the beginning.

Going to USCA Was My Form of Self-Care

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Tue, 18 Sep 2018 19:49:00 GMT

People were surprised to see me there!

More than a conference, it is a family reunion and place to network and learn, but most importantly uplift each other.

Important HIV Cure Survey -- Calling All Women Living With HIV in the U.S. to Participate!

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Fri, 29 Jun 2018 17:55:00 GMT

I made this video to discuss the importance of women living with HIV to participate in research that affects our lives. In order for women to receive care and treatment that works for us -- our bodies and our lives -- we need to make our voices and needs heard. Women are often under-represented in HIV research and always working to get a "seat at the table." One way we can improve this is by taking surveys such as this one -- which is to find out what we would be willing (or not willing) to do in order to participate in HIV cure research. Many HIV cure studies so far have only had men participating, and it is important that women let researchers know our thoughts and needs as well! It would be a disaster if millions of dollars were poured into an HIV cure study only to find out no or very few women would be willing to take part in it! This survey was designed by allies of The Well Project and reviewed by women living with and affected by HIV to ensure it's accessible to our community.

My Response to Someone Who Denies Undetectable = Untransmittable

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Fri, 25 Aug 2017 17:04:00 GMT

This was a response to a person I will not name because this is about all of us living with #hiv and our allies! I believe in respect above all and each individual has the human right to express himself! But, sometimes they hurt us and in many cases without that intention. I hope you understand the human side ... love and light.

Mi Respuesta a una Persona que Niega a Indetectable = Intransmisible

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Fri, 25 Aug 2017 17:04:00 GMT

Tratare de explicar con mucha humildad y respeto la razón por la cual nos hace daño negar la verdad y apoyar a la ciencia que dice que indetectable = intransmisible!

We Demanded U Equals U! We Demanded the Truth and We Got It in IAS 2017

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Thu, 27 Jul 2017 16:49:00 GMT

Today is a historic day! What was hidden from us came to the light today! It was hidden for almost 10 years. We pretty much joined together and put pressure. This was demanded by us and the whole world has to know. I have been undetectable for 18 years and living with this condition for 29 years. Why wasn't I considered responsible enough (18 years of adherence and undetectable) to be told the truth? I knew about the Swiss statement for 5 years and no one would confirm it here in the USA or other areas of the world! I had the right as a very adherent person to know the truth!!! To know and understand that I wasn't a risk to any of my partners for 18 years!!!! To suffer just with the thought that I could hurt the ones that I love was horrific and depressing. I feel happy today, but I also feel upset and just like the doctor that gave the Swiss statement, had all of these questions to the panel at the International AIDS Society in Paris.

Health Is a Human Right and I Am Not a Carrier!

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Mon, 10 Jul 2017 16:01:00 GMT

How can you preach that you are a Christian and at the same time say that health is a privilege? How can you really not see health as a human right? So, the poor who cannot pay for health care should just DIE???? Think about it!

If I Am Undetectable I Can't Transmit the HIV Virus

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Tue, 21 Mar 2017 20:06:00 GMT

I want you all to see the lack of education that is out there! This is why it is important to show our faces and come out of the dark! This is a human condition that is 100 percent preventable and, as I explained in the video below, if a person living with HIV takes their medications and becomes undetectable and stays undetectable for more than 6 months, WE CAN'T TRANSMIT THE HIV VIRUS. Just because our activist circles and allies know about HIV does not mean that people know about this condition that has so much stigma! We need to be visible and we need to reach main stream media.

Soy Indetectable y no Puedo Transmitir el Virus del VIH

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Tue, 21 Mar 2017 20:06:00 GMT

Quiero que todos vean la falta de educación que hay en todas partes! Por eso es importante mostrar nuestras caras y salir de la oscuridad! Esta es una condición humana que es 100% prevenible y como he explicado en el video, si una persona que vive con el #VIH, toma sus medicamentos y se vuelve indetectable y permanece indetectable por más de 6 meses NO PODEMOS TRANSMITIR EL VIRUS DEL VIH!

#HIV and #LOVE (My Story of Love and Disclosure)

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Mon, 1 Aug 2016 18:03:00 GMT

Love, how beautiful it is! This is so important for people living with HIV/AIDS ... to have someone who loves you and can see you beyond the disease, that is, if they are HIV negative. I feel blessed that after all these years living with my diagnosis and thinking about the journey and what I thought when I was initially diagnosed (I'll NEVER GET MARRIED), I have been blessed with a wife so loving and attentive to me ... the perfect complement. :) She is a key element in my health, believe it or not! When one is loved and cared for ... The heart and soul are filled inside. You feel happy and feel complemented, all these things make our immune system rise ... And it's not just romantic love, wife, husband or spouse ... it also comes from a friend, loved one ... to be shown the love and caring affection from a friend, family ... even strangers ... people just do not know how important it is to love and be loved for us. My partner, Lisa, would be the first to say that she was part of the ignorance, of course, until I came along.

El #VIH y el #AMOR (Mi Historia de Amor y Divulgar)

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Mon, 1 Aug 2016 18:03:00 GMT

El amor, qué hermoso es! Esto es tan importante para las personas que viven con el VIH / SIDA tener a alguien que te ame y puede ver más allá de la enfermedad, es decir si son VIH negativas ... Me siento bendecido de que después de todos estos años de ser positiva y pensando en el camino recorrido y lo que pensaba cuando me diagnosticaron (NUNCA ME LLEGARE A CASAR), he sido bendecida con un a esposa tan cariñosa y atenta conmigo ... el complemento perfecto. :) Ella es un elemento clave en mi salud, aunque no lo crean! Cuando a uno lo aman y cuidan ... el corazón y el alma se llena en el interior. Uno se siente feliz y se siente complementado, todas estas cosas hacen que nuestro sistema inmune se suba ... Y no sólo es el amor de pareja, esposa, esposo ... también proviene de el que sea amigo o amor que le demuestre a uno el amor y el cuidado con afecto un amigo, su familia ... incluso extraños ... la gente simplemente no saben lo importante que es amar y ser amado para nosotros. Mi pareja, Lisa, sería la primera en decir que ella era parte de la ignorancia, por supuesto, hasta que llegué yo.

Survivor's Guilt/PTSD/Anxiety/Depression

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Fri, 26 Feb 2016 12:00:00 GMT

Where do I start? It is with much sorrow that I am writing this blog ... the memories of my friends that passed from AIDS complications haunt me all the time. It is very hard to express how I feel ... so I will do my best.

My Depression, Trauma, HIV and Getting Help

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Wed, 23 Dec 2015 13:47:00 GMT

I have been going through one of the roughest times of my life and I wanted to show the world that it is ok to be a strong woman and ask for help at the same time. Being a part of the Greater Than AIDS campaign for HIV and IPV resurfaced many issues I had that I thought had healed ... but the reality is that I was just glued together ... I had not healed and now I am in intensive therapy for the first time in my life.

This Message Is for All HIV-Negative People (Video)

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Mon, 14 Dec 2015 19:54:00 GMT

Charlie Sheen has brought back the passion in me because I realize that I have to continue educating the world! Much ignorance and stigma continues.

#USCA2015 (My Thoughts and Feelings and Most Importantly the Love I Felt)

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Tue, 29 Sep 2015 02:11:00 GMT

Well, where do I start? It is no secret that I have been going through one of the toughest times of my life. I thought I may not be able to go, but how can I cancel when they gave me a partial scholarship ... and The Well Project, where I blog, I am on their CAB and their Global Ambassador, assisted me in every way to show my presence as a Latina activist/advocate there!! So I said "Maria, push through, truck it and be real with what you are feeling emotionally and mentally."

My Depression, Trauma, HIV and Getting Help

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Tue, 29 Sep 2015 02:10:00 GMT

I have been going through one of the roughest times of my life and I wanted to show the world that it is OK to be a strong woman and ask for help at the same time. Being a part of the Greater Than AIDS campaign for HIV and IPV resurfaced many issues I had that I thought had healed, but the reality is that I was just glued together, I had not healed and now I am in intensive therapy for the first time in my life. I was in a very dark space, greater than any other pain I had felt before and I really wanted to end the pain and just be free. I am so happy my wife pushed for us to get help, individually and together! This saved my life and maybe our marriage.

Recap 2014/2015

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Tue, 10 Feb 2015 19:37:00 GMT

Going over 2014 and what is coming for 2015.

How changing your thoughts can improve your wellbeing.

Transformation

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Mon, 26 Jan 2015 18:34:00 GMT

This is the physical transformation I had.

First pic I was a little girl who felt loved and cared for by her mother. At the same time this little girl was getting molested by her uncle and grew up being told she was worthless and that she would never amount to anything.

Transformacion

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Mon, 26 Jan 2015 18:34:00 GMT

Esta fue la transformación física que tuve.

Primera foto tenia era una niñita que se sentía amada por su madre y querida.

#PWNSpeaks (Went, Broke Down and Then Got Uplifted)

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Mon, 22 Sep 2014 12:00:00 GMT

What an amazing opportunity I was given again by my baby The Well Project (A Girl Like Me)! It was so wonderful to be able to share with 200 HIV positive women from all over the U.S. In the 25 years that I have been living with HIV I never even dreamed that I would be in the same space with so many inspirational positive women. I was able to do something I really never do for myself and that is to vent with another human being about my HIV and women's issues, besides my wife Lisa and my mother. <3

My Four-Year Journey With Atripla

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Sat, 23 Aug 2014 12:00:00 GMT

I want to start this blog by saying this: if you are taking Atripla, remember that everyone's body is different ... I am talking about my own experience and this is not meant to scare anyone, but to make them more aware of a medication that is in Atripla called "Efavirenz."

Mi Camino con el Medicamento Atripla

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Sat, 23 Aug 2014 12:00:00 GMT

Quiero empezar este blog diciendo esto: si estás tomando Atripla, recuerda que todos los organismos son diferentes ... Estoy hablando de mi propia experiencia y esto no es para asustar a nadie, sino para que tengan más conocimiento de un medicamento que está en el Atripla llamado "Efavirenz."

My Book and Other Important Events

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Mon, 16 Jun 2014 20:00:00 GMT

Many wonderful things are happening. My book is out (From a Warrior's Passion and Pain), my marriage to Lisa, my change of medications, and being honored by Latino Commission on AIDS with The Dennis de Leon Voz de Compromiso Award.

Mi Libro y Otros Eventos Importantes

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Mon, 16 Jun 2014 20:00:00 GMT

Muchas cosas especiales me han pasado. Mi libro desde (El dolor y la pasión de una guerrera), mi matrimonio, cambio de medicamentos, y el gran honor que recibí de La comisión Latina contra el SIDA el premio Dennis de Leon Voz de compromiso award.

My Marriage and Very Important Dennis De Leon Voz de Compromiso Award

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Mon, 16 Jun 2014 17:34:00 GMT

I wanted to share with the whole world my special moment and also announce that Lisa and I are married! :) We got married in New York.

Changing Meds

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Fri, 30 May 2014 12:00:00 GMT

As some know, I "once again" asked my doctor to change my medication regimen! I took Trizivir for 10 years. It was a good medicine but I noticed that my red blood cells were enlarged.

Cambiando Medicamentos

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Fri, 30 May 2014 12:00:00 GMT

Algunos saben que tome el medicamento Trizivir por 10 anos. Esta era una buena medicina, pero note que mis células rojas estaban engrandecidas en los laboratorios y decidí cambiar el régimen de medicinas.

Hiding When I Am Sick Is Not a Good Thing

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Tue, 8 Apr 2014 18:58:00 GMT

This April will be my 25th anniversary living with HIV. The last 2 years of living with HIV have been the hardest for me and many do not know this. I don't like to show or tell people when I feel ill, and it is very frustrating for me to know that I am doing everything I am supposed to and then some, and still feel like I am a baby -- exposure to any virus or bug and I am sick once again. It seems I haven't been able to catch a break as far as getting ill and I have written before about feeling stuck ... never completely ill for a hospitalization and never 100 percent healthy to feel good.

Esconder Que Estoy Enferma No Es Algo Bueno

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Tue, 8 Apr 2014 18:58:00 GMT

Este mes de abril será el 25 aniversario conviviendo con el VIH. Los últimos 2 años de vivir con el VIH han sido los más difíciles para mí y muchos no saben esto. No me gusta para mostrar o decirle a la gente cuando me siento enferma, y es muy frustrante para mí saber que estoy haciendo todo que debo y más y todavía se siente como que estoy como un bebé -- y cualquier virus anda en el aire lo cojo y estoy enferma de nuevo. Parece que no he podido tener un descanso. He escrito antes acerca de sentirse atrapado ... nunca completamente enfermo de hospitalización y nunca 100 por ciento saludable para sentirse bien.

Movies That Can Fuel Stigma and Ignorance

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Sun, 16 Mar 2014 20:48:00 GMT

As I sat with my wife, Lisa, and watched Dallas Buyers Club, I was like "wow! what wonderful actors!" They really did a good job! And it was part of history. I lived through most of that in those times when this condition was known as GRID, or a condition for prostitutes or drug users. But nothing touches Philadelphia for me. :) It was a very deep movie and it touched me deeply! I guess it is a matter of taste, not taking anything away from DBC.

Las Peliculas que Pueden Alimentar el Estigma y la Ignorancia

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Sun, 16 Mar 2014 20:48:00 GMT

Cuando me senté con mi esposa Lisa para ver El Club Compradores de Dallas (Dallas Buyers Club), yo estaba en shock, qué actores maravillosos. Realmente hicieron un buen trabajo! Y fue parte de la historia. Eso lo viví através de la mayor parte de mi diagnostico en lo que esta enfermedad era conocida como GRID o una condición de prostitutas o drogadictos. Pero, nada toca a Filadelfia para mí :) Fue una película muy profunda y me tocó profundamente! Supongo que es una cuestión de gustos, no quitándole nada la película BDC.

A Lost Girl

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Mon, 3 Mar 2014 11:59:00 GMT

This is me in one of the worst times of my life ... a lost girl around 15 years old, a gang member, a thug! I hated myself! There are really no pics of my past. I am not a single particle of that girl anymore ... she suffered! She was in pain! She would hide her body and her face ... she felt ugly and worthless!!! She believed what she was told ... SHE WAS A NOTHING AND NEVER WOULD AMOUNT TO ANYTHING! She was just lost and hurting, and that hard image was just an armor so no one would hurt her or get close to her. This was me, Maria Teresa Mejia. I was a little worm that became a butterfly and now I am flying high. Love and light.

Una Nina Perdida

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Mon, 3 Mar 2014 11:58:00 GMT

Esta era yo en uno de los peores momentos de mi vida ... una niña perdida ... ¡tenia alrededor de 15 años, pandillera, una delinquente! ¡Me odiaba a mí misma! ¡No hay fotos de esa epoca! No soy ni una partícula delo que fue esa chica ... ¡Ella sufrió! ¡Ella estaba con dolor! Escondía su cuerpo y su rostro ... ¡se sentía fea y sin valor! Ella creyó lo que le dijeron ... ¡ELLA ERA UNA NADA Y NUNCA llegaría a nada! Ella sólo se había perdido yestaba herida, y esa imagen dura sólo era una armadura para que nadie le hiciera mas daño o se acercara a ella. Este era yo, Maria Teresa Mejia. Yo era un pequeño gusano que se convirtió en una mariposa y ahora estoy volando alto. Amor y luz.

Dia Mundial del SIDA: El VIH Se Detiene Conmigo

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Tue, 22 Oct 2013 16:20:00 GMT

El VIH se detiene conmigo! por favor, si usted sabe que tiene el virus digalo antes de tener relaciones sexuales ... no ponga a nadie en peligro por razones egoístas, o por estigma, o por miedo a ser rechazado .. Nunca he sido rechazada y yo creo que es porque toco el tema y sentir como piensa la persona sobre el virus ... no dejo que mis emociones sean demasiado profundas antes de revelar que tengo el virus ... también sé que una persona tiene todo el DERECHO a no querer vivir esta situación, o cualquier situación! Esto es respetable!

HIV Stops With Me

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Wed, 20 Nov 2013 16:07:00 GMT

HIV stops with me! Please, if you know you have the virus, disclose before engaging in sexual relations. Do not put anyone at risk because of selfish reasons, or because of stigma, or because of fear of being turned down. I have never been rejected and I believe it's because I bring the subject up and feel the person out. I do not let my emotions get too deep before I disclose. I also know that a person has all the right to not want to deal with this situation or any situation. This is respectable!

After the Storms, a Rainbow Will Come

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Tue, 22 Oct 2013 13:52:00 GMT

After all the trials and storms, always believe that a rainbow will come. Never feel bad for the things you go through, these are the times and things that makes us strong and evolve spiritually. It is ok to feel frustrated, angry and even hopeless, as long as you do not let it take you down. Keep on keeping on you will be ok! Believe in yourself and that everything that happens in life has a reason and a meaning. If everything in life was easy and nothing hard ever happened, we would never learn and grow.

Tengo VIH y Soy un Ser Humano

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Wed, 16 Oct 2013 17:38:00 GMT

Sé que que muchas personas saben que tengo el VIH ... pero al mismo tiempo como que se les olvida que lo tengo porque no me veo enferma. el #VIH no tiene rostro ... Piensen antes de escribirme porfavor,tengo sentimientos y soy un ser humano.Tengo gente que me dice ... WOW! Si tuviera el #VIH me mataría ... o yo tenía muchos amigos con VIH que están todos muertos ya ... es probable que te queden solo 5 años más de vida?? COMO???? NO! SÓLO CUANDO MI MISIÓN ESTE COMPLETA me iré a la luz! otros no son ni #VIH positivos y me estresan diciendo "Creo que soy positiv@ y estoy deprimido!hagansen el exmen porfavor!! y muchos ya salieron negativos en la prueba de elisa y siguen pensandoque lo tienen y se obsesionan!! USTEDES SON NEGATIVOS ... no me estresen mas con lo mismo!! Y RECUERDEN QUE tengo VIH? ... así que por favor ... NO SOY médico! soy sólo una persona que lucha contra el estigma y la educacion de esta condicion ! ... pero al final del día ... Tengo #VIH y soy #HUMANA

I Have HIV and I Am Human

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Wed, 16 Oct 2013 17:31:00 GMT

I know most people know I have HIV ... but at the same time they forget I have it, because I do not look sick. HIV has no face ... think before you write me please ... I have feelings! I have people telling me, 'Oh wow, if I were to find out I am poz ... I would kill myself!!' or 'I had many friends with HIV, they are all dead now, you probably have 5 more years left???' REALLY? NO! ONLY WHEN MY MISSION IS COMPLETE, I WILL GO TO THE LIGHT! Others are not even HIV positive and stress me out "I think I am poz and I am depressed! "GO GET TESTED" Some tested negative and still think they have HIV!!! YOU ARE NEGATIVE..STOP STRESSING ME OUT over what you do not have!! AND REMEMBER I DO HAVE HIV! So please, don't act like you're talking to a DOCTOR! I am just a person that fights against stigma and educates everyone! But at the end of the day, I have HIV and I am HUMAN.

Life Is a Path of Roses Full of Thorns

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Thu, 5 Sep 2013 17:18:00 GMT

Never limit yourself!! Dream big!! Believe in yourself! No matter what cards you were dealt with, make the best out of any situation. LOVE BIG!! LIVE INTENSELY!! Accept the struggles and overcome them with dignity and without the need of being bitter or selling yourself or your soul. Nothing lasts forever so embrace everything and everyone.

Change Starts With the Man in the Mirror

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Wed, 28 Aug 2013 05:57:00 GMT

This world makes me so sad. All I see is destruction and people arguing. We are all one!! We are the human race! The end of times are not here yet (in my belief) and we're already turning on each other.

El Cambio Empiesa con el Hombre en el Espejo

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Wed, 28 Aug 2013 05:57:00 GMT

Este mundo me hace muy triste. Todo lo que veo es la destrucción y personas discutiendo. ¡¡¡Todos somos uno somos la raza humana el final de los tiempos no estan aquí todavía (en mi opinión) y ya estamos poniendonos los unos en contra de los otros!!!

Why Am I so Open About Having HIV?

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Tue, 13 Aug 2013 08:00:00 GMT

Many write me from all over the world with the same question: How can I be so open about having HIV? How did I get the courage to be so open?? How can they get to where I am?? My response is always the same: I have NO SHAME! There is nothing wrong with having HIV!

Porque Soy Tan Abierta de Tener el Virus del VIH?

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Tue, 13 Aug 2013 08:00:00 GMT

Muchos me escriben de todo el mundo con la misma pregunta ... ¿Cómo puedo ser tan abierta acerca de tener VIH? ¿Cómo puedo tener el valor de ser tan abierta? ¿Cómo pueden llegar a donde estoy yo? Mi respuesta es siempre la misma! Yo no tengo verguenza! No es nada malo tener VIH!

My Interview With an International Women's Website

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Wed, 3 Jul 2013 21:22:00 GMT

I was very honored to be featured on Fanm Kanson Network. As many of my interviews are equally important, I get contacted through my activism page (as Maria HIV Mejia) on Facebook, YouTube, Twitter and my blogs. Many ask me how I get to do these interviews, etc. Basically I am relentless in social media ... every day, no matter where I am and what I am doing. This gives me a presence in social media, and important campaigns, websites, radio, TV and magazines contact me.

Doctors Take a Long Shot and Inject HIV Into Dying Girl. The Reason Why Will Amaze You.

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Mon, 24 Jun 2013 09:52:00 GMT

I can't believe I just watched a team of real doctors inject a 6-year-old girl with a deadly disease ... and smile. Who knew something called a "serial killer" cell could bring so much unforgettable joy and happiness? Isn't it AMAZING that a little girl who was sentenced to death had the HIV virus injected in her and she is now healthy and alive? I know the cure for some cancers and HIV is coming ... I feel it and I am crying tears of Joy for her and for myself and millions around the world. Isn't it ironic that a disease that has been stigmatized -- so much ignorance around the HIV virus and so, so much discrimination -- is actually saving lives and who knows how many with cancer such as this little angel will be saved? The once ostracized HIV patients like myself and what some called as 'the ones CURSED by GOD' will help others with cancer? so Ironic..so beautiful..so good to finally be talked about in a loving and positive way! Imagine that!!! HIV PATIENTS SAVING CANCER PATIENTS THAT HAVE NO HOPE! ? Hope and faith is something I will never lose ...

and you should never lose it as well ?

Una Bolita Grande en Mi Seno Derecho

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Wed, 12 Jun 2013 09:36:00 GMT

He estado callada de algo que me ha estado pasando ... bueno, me di cuenta de un bultico grande en mi pecho derecho y me dolia .. así como siempre fui rápida con mi salud e hice una cita para una mamografía digital, y una ecografía que me hize hoy Gracias a Dios que no era nada .. solo fibrosis .. muchas mujeres tienen esto! cual es mi mensaje como en otras ocasiones! con tiempo y la detección temprana podemos salvar nuestras vidas! o no tener miedo de lo que el resultado puede ser y agarrar el toro por los cuernos eso es lo que hago con todo en mi vida! No puedo dejar que las cosas pasen ... NUNCA! Eligo vivir de la mejor manera que puedo vivir Soy muy bendecida y feliz de que no era Cáncer .. pero yo estaba lista para cualquier cosa y pensaba dentro de mi lo que está destinado a ser será .. y voy a luchar como siempre lo hago ... por favor a todas las mujeres no dejen de hacerse las pruebas de Papanicolaou y mamografías anuales hacer esto puede salvar tu vida y quedaran tranquilas amor y luz

A Huge Lump on My Right Breast

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Wed, 12 Jun 2013 09:28:00 GMT

I have been holding back on talking about something that has been going on ... Well, I noticed a big lump on my right breast and it hurt. So like always, I was quick with my health and made an appointment for a digital mammogram and an ultrasound that was done today. THANK GOD it was nothing ... just fibrosis ... many women have this! So what is my message? As with anything, with time and early detection, we can save our lives! Don't be scared of whatever the outcome can be and grab the bull by its horns ... that is what I do with everything in life! I cant let things be ... NEVER! I chose to live the best way I can live. I am very blessed and happy that it was not cancer ... but I was ready for anything and thought to myself 'whatever is meant to be, will be ... and I will fight like I always do.' Please, to all women out there, get your yearly Pap smears and mammograms. Doing this can save your life or put you at ease. love and light

HIV Does Not Define Me

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Tue, 28 May 2013 08:01:00 GMT

Well, I was told by someone who made a comment on my pic and my personal Facebook profile (which is at left) that although they admired my work and spirit, I shouldn't make HIV so "Fashionista." He went on to tell me that HIV/AIDS is something very serious and a matter of life and death. Well, I have been living with HIV since I was a teen ... got infected at 16 in 1989 and diagnosed in 1991. I know what living with HIV is, and I for damn sure know I am more than this virus!

El VIH No Me Define

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Tue, 28 May 2013 08:00:00 GMT

Bueno, me dijo alguien que hizo un comentario en mi foto en mi perfil personal (que es éste), que a pesar de que admiraba mi trabajo y mi espíritu ... No debería hacer el VIH sea "Fashionista" Él continuó diciendo que el VIH/SIDA es algo muy serio y un asunto de vida o muerte ... bueno! He estado viviendo con el VIH desde que era un adolescente ... me infecte a los 16 años en 1989 y diagnosticada en 1991 ... Yo sé lo que es vivir con el VIH ... y yo soy más que este virus!

Una Carta de un Ex Disidente Para Mi Y El Mundo

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Thu, 16 May 2013 17:20:00 GMT

Video bilingue de un ex disidente que casi muere y algunos consejos mios para aquellas personas que tienen miedo de tomar su medicina para el VIH.

An Ex-Dissident/Denialist Letter to Me and the World

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Thu, 16 May 2013 17:08:00 GMT

Below is my bilingual Vlog from an ex dissident telling me what happened and I also share some information for those scared of treatment.

Queria Compartir Estos Pensamientos Con Todos Ustedes

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Fri, 10 May 2013 16:20:00 GMT

Me caigo ... pero siempre voy a levantarme! Puedo llorar ... pero me limpiare las lágrimas y seguire amando a mi projimo. pueda que este o estaba viviendo momentos oscuros donde me sentía que todo estaba patas arriba ... pero siempre sé que hay una luz! SIEMPRE! Nada dura para siempre ... las cosas buenas o cosas malas. Como siempre digo, desde los lugares más oscuros vienen las luces más brillantes. A veces podemos sentirnos con ganas de renunciar, pero el espíritu de lucha nos hace seguir y nos muestra de lo que estamos hechos.

Believe in Yourself No Matter What Trials We Go Through

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Fri, 10 May 2013 16:05:00 GMT

I fall ... but I will always pick myself up! I may cry ... but I wipe my tears and continue loving and caring. I may have been in dark moments where I felt everything was upside down ... but I always know there is a light ! ALWAYS!! Nothing lasts forever ... good things or bad things. As I always say, from the darkest places comes the brightest lights. Sometimes we may feel like giving up but that fighting spirit makes us continue and shows us what we are made of.

AIDS Is a Bitch

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 10:53:00 GMT

YOU GET TIRED! I know I must give hope and be "positive", but I have been in bed for 2 weeks with a horrible cold! FEVER, CHILLS, COUGH, ACHES, HEADACHE ... horrible!! I know we all get colds, but it just sucks when you have a freaking low immune system and multiple things are attacking you!! They also did a culture in the ER when Lisa took me April 18th and found a freaking bacteria Enterococcus (E coli) that I was told by my doc during the same situation.

Mi Cumpleanos Esta Aqui

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Thu, 4 Apr 2013 08:12:00 GMT

DIOS MIO!! en unos dias cumplo 40 anos de edad!!! y 24 anos con el virus del VIH! cuando me infecto mi primero novio en 1989 a mis 16 anitos y fui diagnosticada una semana despues de mi cumpleanos numero 18 en Abril 18,1991. ESTO ERA UNA SENTENCIA DE MUERTE!! maximo nos daban 10 anos de vida( si viviamos bien ) escribi en mi diario de Hello Kitty que seguro viviria hasta los 28 anos maximo! y asi eran las cosas. NO TENIAMOS MEDICINAS,NO HABIA EXAMEN DE CARGA VIRAL,NO HABIA INTERNET, NI INFORMACION! NADA!!! solo la sentencia de muerte! pero estoy aqui

My Birthday Is Here!

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Thu, 4 Apr 2013 08:06:00 GMT

OMG!!!!! In a few days I will be 40 YEARS OLD!!! and 24 years living with HIV! When I was infected in 1989 at the age of 16 and then diagnosed 1 week after my 18th bday, on April 18 1991, IT WAS A DEATH SENTENCE! They gave us MAX 10 YEARS TO LIVE. I wrote in my Hello Kitty diary that max I would live to see 28 and that is how it was. We had no meds!! No viral load exams! No social media or internet! NOTHING! IT WAS A DEATH SENTENCE! NOW IT IS A LIFE SENTENCE!! BUT ... I AM HERE. Please, when you know better, you do better! Get tested, know your status! Do not trust anyone with your life!! And use protection!

My Soul Is Hurting

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 16:00:00 GMT

OK, my soul is hurting. I feel so powerless. I have people from all over the world writing me that they have no medicine! That they are discriminated and it is happening here in the United States also!! It is so sad for me to only offer them my prayers and just sit here and feel like I can't do anything for them and help them!!

Four Strikes Against Me, but I Am Not Out!

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Wed, 23 Jan 2013 08:56:00 GMT

I am a Latina, HIV positive, a lesbian and a woman! Four strikes against me, but I am not out!

Many know the struggles that we go through if we have any of these categories with stigma and discrimination! Imagine having these four (strikes) working against you and still trying to show that you are worthy and that you can make it! Well of course we can! No matter what things in life are against us, we must never let anything stop us or bring us down!

Bilingual Vlog on HIV Vaccine From Spain

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Fri, 4 Jan 2013 13:57:00 GMT

I am excited and very hopeful! Estoy feliz y con mucha esperanza.

Life's Ups and Downs

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Fri, 7 Dec 2012 16:00:00 GMT

Remember that the beautiful butterfly was once a cocoon. There is hope as long as there is life <3.

"Being strong is also coming to terms that life is not easy, we may not always be happy and we should let it out for our own well being." Don't hold onto anything because you are scared of the future ... if it is not working for you there is a reason for this!

World AIDS Day / Dia Mundial del SIDA 2012

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 16:10:00 GMT

This is my message to the whole world about what World AIDS Day means to me. I also talk about some of the highlights and accomplishments of this year in regards to HIV/AIDS.

Some of My Beauty Secrets/Algunos de Mis Trucos de Belleza

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Tue, 27 Nov 2012 10:57:00 GMT

The best oils to make your hair grow long and strong are combinations of oils like mustard oil, black castor oil, almond oil, peppermint oil, coconut oil, argan oil and many more. Check out my video blog to see what I do to keep my hair healthy.

My Perspective of PrEP (Truvada) as a Method to Prevent HIV Infection

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Tue, 6 Nov 2012 10:39:00 GMT

Below is my new bilingual video blog and my perspective of PrEP (Truvada) as prevention for HIV. I discuss why I am on the fence about it and the possible dangers of this FDA-approved method ... in my humble opinion.

Maria and Lisa's Bilingual Video Blog (Our Detox Juicing Recipe)

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Thu, 25 Oct 2012 10:47:00 GMT

Hi everyone. Below is a bilingual video of my partner, Lisa, and I describing another one of the healthy juices we make -- this one is a detox juice. I also talk about the vitamins and supplements I am taking right now. Just remember to talk to your healthcare provider when you take any vitamins/supplements to make sure there are not any reactions with any of the medications you are taking.

Lisa and Maria's Video Blog -- Healthy Eating and Juicing

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Fri, 28 Sep 2012 13:41:00 GMT

This is the first bilingual video from many that my partner, Lisa, and I will start sharing about healthy eating and juicing ... and of course I will share many of my simple beauty secrets. Many people have asked me about some of my health and beauty regimens. I am going to share one of them with you here in this video blog (many more to come ).

A Day With HIV (and Recent Updates in My Life)

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 12:50:00 GMT

Please view my video blog talking about "A Day With HIV" which occurred on Friday, September 21, as well as other recent updates in my life lately ...

Access to Treatment

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Tue, 7 Aug 2012 10:18:00 GMT

Why aren't we being adherent and why of the 1.1 million Americans living with HIV, are only 25 percent virally suppressed?

I guess I have to start with myself. I found out I was HIV positive as a young 18 year old in 1991. I could say I was not on ARVs because the only thing that was available was AZT, but the reality is that I highly doubt in those times -- and with so little knowledge about HIV medications and all the side effects that I was hearing about -- that I would have started treatment.

Living With HIV/AIDS: This Is a Message to the Youth

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Thu, 14 Jun 2012 08:00:00 GMT

I want to share this very important message with YOU! The youth! Please, HIV/AIDS is preventable. Your body is your temple and you have to take care of it! Use protection, love yourself and test yourself.

And no matter how much you think you love someone, no one is worth your life! HIV/AIDS is not a death sentence, but it is a life sentence. I don't want any of you to go through what I have been through and am going through.

My Body May Feel Weak Sometimes, but My Spirit Always Pulls Me Through

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Wed, 2 May 2012 08:00:00 GMT

Sometimes I feel like I can't continue. I feel that the energy gets low. This is normal to me ... it has always been like this. Ever since I was a teen I had this fear that I had to live every moment to the extreme. This is a good thing, but it can be a bad thing also for people living with HIV or any disease -- and even for someone who is healthy.

ACT UP

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 08:09:00 GMT

WE NEED TO HAVE THE PASSION AS ACTIVISTS AND ADVOCATES THAT THOSE IN THE BEGINNING OF ACT UP DAYS DID!

ACT UP = ACTION AND PEOPLE FIGHTING FOR OUR RIGHTS TOGETHER AS ONE!

I want to start my blog talking about the story behind it for those that don't know what it is ...

Hey HIV

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 15:27:00 GMT

Hey HIV,

I want to say so many things to you -- maybe curse at you, maybe tell you how much you hurt my body, mind and soul.

It's Friday ... and I Still Have HIV

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 15:53:00 GMT

Current global statistics state that an estimated 34 million people globally are living with human immunodeficiency virus, the virus that causes AIDS. In the thirty years since the discovery of the virus, much has changed, yet so many continue to struggle to live with the disease, a disease that science still does not completely know how to fight. I get up and make my breakfast. I think about a birthday party I will attend over the weekend. I think about what I will wear, I think about the gift I will bring. I look into my living room, and laugh at my two Chihuahua's, excited about something outside the window, and it makes me smile. Then I get my med box and vitamins and remember that I stilll have HIV. For those two minutes, I let my mind wander to a place where HIV was not present, but after twenty one years since my diagnosis, I know my HIV will never go away, I know it will always be with me -- unless they find a cure.

My Trip to Colombia and the Importance for Our Health to Disconnect

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Mon, 5 Mar 2012 23:00:00 GMT

I just got back from my country Colombia and had a beautiful spiritual connection with mother nature ... I disconnected from everything!

This is so important for our health! Not only have I been really taking care of my body -- I stopped smoking, started eating organic and very healthy -- but learning to stop and look at the beautiful gift that is nature and connecting to it as one. This was a total spiritual medication for me.

Tomando Medicina Alternativa en Combinacion con los ARVs: Mi Historia (Video)

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 15:43:00 GMT

Que medicina naturista y alternativa use durante mis primeros 10 anos de ser positiva sin medicina para el vih , y que he hecho durante estos 11 anos tomando medicina alternativa en combinacion con los arvs.

Alternative Treatments I Did for First 10 Years Without HIV Meds and What I'm Doing Now

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 15:22:00 GMT

Please see my video blog about what alternative treatments I did for the first 10 years without HIV medicine, and what I have been doing for the past 11 years -- combining alternative treatment and HIV medicine.

Remembering Ryan White and Thoughts on Milton Hershey School

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Wed, 7 Dec 2011 10:50:00 GMT

Today I am remembering one of my biggest inspirations and warriors! Ryan White. He is an angel and someone who has inspired me to fight for injustice. He just wanted to go to school and fought for it when he was discriminated against for having HIV. It is incredible to me that we are 30 years into this illness and the Milton Hershey School is not letting a young boy go to school because of his condition.

World AIDS Day (My Thoughts)

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 14:51:00 GMT

World AIDS Day has become one of the most recognized international health days, and a key opportunity to raise awareness, commemorate those who have passed on, and celebrate victories such as increased access to treatment and prevention services.

When Our Lab Results Are Not Normal

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 12:06:00 GMT

Well, my latest lab work showed that my ALT and AST levels are a little up! This has to do with my liver enzymes. When I received the news and read my lab work and saw that my enzymes were up, I freaked out! I mean I really got unbalanced and very anxious and nervous! We, as HIV positive people, always have to go through this every time we get our blood work done! I have been through this for 20 years and as the years pass and more of the meds are in our system, actually it is a scarier feeling for me!

Prevention of Fat Loss and Lipoatrophy of the Face

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Mon, 3 Oct 2011 14:51:00 GMT

Yes, many people are very afraid to start their HIV medications because of lipoatrophy or lipodistrophy (fat loss or gaining fat in some areas). Well there are many options now. One of the most important parts of a person's body is their face. This is like the cover of a magazine, and how we represent ourselves! Many people feel very depressed because they lose fat in their face and become stigmatized by it! Although medication is better today as it was 20 years ago, I use Sculptra to prevent fat loss in my face. I see the pain in peoples' eyes when they suffer from this. It makes them very depressed and makes them want to hide! Once they get their face back, I see them thriving, working, loving everything.

My Story With Medication

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 18:05:00 GMT

I've been HIV positive for 20 years, 10 of them without any HIV meds; and for the last 10 years I have been on HIV medication. If I could go back 20 years, I wouldn't change a thing. I really believe (and this is only my opinion) that not taking the high dosages of AZT (Retrovir, zidovudine) that were offered 20 years ago saved my life.

Not Everyone Is an Activist (and Updates on My New Regimen of Atripla)

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Fri, 8 Jul 2011 13:00:00 GMT

YES! Not everyone is an activist! And we must respect this ... not all people are prepared to come out of their HIV closet because others want them to! They are not less than anyone -- many of them are still dealing with the shame that comes with the illness. Or they are trying to protect their family members -- especially when there is so much ignorance and stigma with HIV/AIDS.We have to respect other peoples' choices and views. We are their role models ... so if we have it in us to be activists and advocate, let us do that for those that don't feel prepared or ready yet. Or maybe they will never be! And it's not because they don't want to fight for the cause.

Discrimination and Stigma: These Are the Stories

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 15:00:00 GMT

I want to be the voices of those that have been discriminated for living with HIV/AIDS or for supporting us! There are stories of people from all over the world that wrote me in my international group for people with HIV/AIDS, and the people who love us on Facebook. The stories moved me and I had to tell them. It is very sad most of the discrimination and stigma comes from our own families and loved ones. WE MUST END STIGMA AND DISCRIMINATION! 30 years with HIV/AIDS and the stigma is stronger than ever! HATE! IGNORANCE! How do we fight them??? With EDUCATION. I really believe that by telling our stories and showing our faces we can end this together. I also know that people live in fear of being discriminated and hide. Not everyone is ready to come out of the HIV CLOSET! So we are here for those who DO NOT have a voice. Please we must have Love and Compassion in our hearts. We fear the unknown! Please stop the ignorance. Once again I want to thank all the people that wrote me telling me their very deep stories that broke my heart and brought tears to my eyes. WE ARE ONE!

PRIDE, From a Proud HIV-Positive Lesbian

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Wed, 1 Jun 2011 16:00:00 GMT

I have pride and I am a proud HIV-positive lesbian female. Coming from an ultraconservative Hispanic family, it was a very hard step for me to deal with many issues in my life and be able to speak about them -- or "come out," as they say. I was very confused when I was young -- being sexually abused at the tender age of 3; having someone that was supposed to take care of me, a family member, take away my innocence -- I learned to block things and keep things inside. I never thought I would end up in love and married to a woman! We have been together for four years and she is my everything -- my true soulmate.

I was diagnosed with HIV at a very young age -- I was just turning 18 -- so I only had my mother, who was my rock in the process of dealing with an illness that was killing people very fast. I'd always thought to myself, during this journey of being positive, that my running away from home and joining a gang, the things we had to go through in our home with my father, and then having to tell her that I was HIV positive was just enough for her to handle. I didn't want to give her one more thing to worry about, and tell her: "Mom, I am a LESBIAN also!"

New Regimen of Meds, and My Comments on My Speech on the Doctor/Patient Relationship

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Fri, 27 May 2011 14:00:00 GMT

The big part your doctor plays in your life! It's like a marriage ... if there is no communication or respect, there will be a divorce! Or a person being less adherent to their HIV medications. I tried to tell them how we feel as patients! We have to be proactive with our illness. Ask for tests, even if your doc does not ask for it! Like vitamin D! I was vitamin D deficient and I didn't know ... and if I would have never asked, I would not have known! We have to respect our doctors and they should encourage their patients to research and investigate.

To Take or Not to Take Your Meds

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Mon, 16 May 2011 14:50:00 GMT

I want to start by saying I am not a doctor or a scientist! I speak from my own experience as many of you know! I have been positive for 20 years, and I decided not to be on medication for the first 10 years and talk about it in my vblog ... for ten years I did everything I could to be off meds! Everything holistic you can think of! We have to realize that everyone has their moment when they make the choice to go on meds ... Your body will feel it! I wouldn't dare tell someone to get off medication as some of this movement of dissidents/denialists tell people! Not only do they tell people this ... but especially vulnerable and newly diagnosed ... and also to those that are so confused! In all reality, I dont want to judge anyone, but this is a very dangerous situation -- people are dying because they are listening to this propaganda that AIDS doesnt exist and that what actually will kill you is your HIV medication!

Forgiveness (Traumas From My Childhood and Teenage Years)

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 15:00:00 GMT

I remember my first memory at the age of three, unlike some children that have wonderful memories of their childhood mine was a very traumatic one! I was molested by a family member at such a young age. It is hard to open up about this, because it has impacted my life in so many ways. I was a baby, no one is supposed to hurt a child! And the damage stays with you forever!

With all of this I had to endure, along with my mother, the mental abuse and verbal abuse of my father throughout all my childhood and teenage years ... this was very hard! The man that was supposed to protect me and love me was a tyrant! Someone who from the age of five, six years old always told me I would only be good to be a whore and I was never going to amount to anything in life! After you hear this for so long, you start believing you are a nothing!

Mi Historia con el VIH/SIDA

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 15:15:00 GMT

"Quiero compartir mi historia con el VIH/SIDA ... y educar para salvar vidas."

My HIV/AIDS Story

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 15:11:00 GMT

How did TheBody.com blogger Maria go from silence about her HIV status to being an outspoken advocate? Watch her tell her own story.

Stigma Within Our Own HIV Community

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Wed, 6 Apr 2011 16:00:00 GMT

Once again my blog will be about something that happened in my Facebook. I have the name there "MariaHIV." I created that name not because I am HIV positive, but because I wanted to attract people to it. So, by now I have met wonderful people from every continent! Awesome advocates, activists, people who are recently diagnosed and long term survivors like myself, and everything in the middle -- many people who are suicidal and feel like their life is over, some very secretive because they are in the stage of denial, people who don't know what to do because in their country they have no medication ... I mean their dentist doesn't want to see them just cause they have HIV. It has opened me up to the world in so many ways! People from all walks of life -- people that who infected and affected and people that have nothing to do with our community -- just want to learn or support my fight!

HIV and Love

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 15:00:00 GMT

Love, how beautiful it is! This is so important for people living with HIV/AIDS ... to have someone who loves you for you and can see past the illness, that is if they are negative ... I am very blessed that after all these years of being positive and thinking way back "I WILL NEVER MARRY," I have been blessed with such a loving and caring partner. She is a key element in my health, believe it or not!

When you are loved and cared for ... your heart and soul fills up inside. You are happier and feel complete, all these things make your immune system go up ... and it is not only the love of your partner, wife, husband ... it comes from anyone that shows you love and cares for you! A friend, your family ... even strangers ... people just don't know how important it is to love and be loved for us. My partner, Lisa, would be the first one to say she was part of the ignorance, of course until I came along ...

I Am Not an Ugly Scorpion! HIV Ads That Add to the Stigma

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Wed, 9 Mar 2011 16:05:00 GMT

Well, well, well. Where the hell do I start??? I am going to try to be as nice and sweet as possible! I had to give myself a day to write this.

It started as another thing I posted on my facebook HIV space, I posted an ugly, disgusting picture of a scorpion wrapped around a man and it is about to sting him and kill him! And I wrote how I really feel about this horrible, nasty campaign! I mean, what the hell?? Is this how we want people to view us?? Like a lethal scorpion? I dont think so ... I am a beautiful, good, loving, caring human being ... I take care of my beautiful partner and protect her! I deeply dislike this picture! Not to say the word HATE! And I know they are trying to scare people with this image. This is similar to me as the one they did of Hitler ... comparing him to HIV/AIDS! I am not HITLER either!

Ignorance and My Beauty Salon Experience: The Time to Educate Can Happen When You Least Expect!

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 16:42:00 GMT

So yeah! I was looking forward to a nice relaxing day! Away from everything ... just a place where they could pamper me ... release some stress. YES! The beauty salon ... yay ... getting my hair done, my hands and feet done. Just time for little old me to get away from daily life ... and of course, my job or mission never has a break.

Here We Go Again: Lab Results and My Fears

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Mon, 7 Feb 2011 22:00:00 GMT

Here we go again! Yes, that is what I always say to myself. Every 4 to 6 months I go through this s**t !! After so long, I should be used to this, but I am not! I have so much fear and anxiety like 1 week, or even longer, before I go to see my doctor for the results ... I am a very positive person, but I am human and I have my fears! Especially when I see people around me telling me their T cells went down and their viral load is up ... And my worst fear, they have become resistant to the medication that they are used to already! I mean give me, them, all of us, a break! And then again, who am I to freaking complain?! Do I just want to have the perfect life with this illness?? Which would be FINE to being HIV positive! Even taking my medication ... but without all the things that come with it! Like no side effects, no body changes, no toxicity, no resistance, just a medication I can take even if it's for the rest of my life ... but knowing that my immune system will be OK and viral load will be dormant.

Does HIV Cause AIDS? Denialism vs. Pro-ARVs: A "Debate"

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 15:39:00 GMT

It started as a simple status on my Facebook page where I just put "FOR ME IT'S VERY HARD!!! TO TAKE HIV MEDS ... IT'S NOT SIMPLE! IT'S NOT EASY ... THEY DO SAVE OUR LIVES BUT HAVE VERY HARSH SIDE EFFECTS!" Well before I knew it, I had a scientist (a good friend), a doctor, a person that said he tested HIV positive and was showing me videos of all these other doctors and scientists that say HIV does not cause AIDS, and that the medication is killing us. I also had a very nice lady from the UK that is also positive along with her husband and also takes her meds.

Why I Want to Show My Face After 20 Years

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 13:30:00 GMT

I am ready to show my face for many reasons! After the cycles that we go through with HIV/AIDS ... the denial, realizing I was not dying after all ... came the shame and hiding. I also started with the lies ... that I believe came from my mother trying to protect me, saying tell everyone I have something else (another illness like lupus etc etc)! Well after so much hiding, lying, the SHAME! Something really deep happened before 2011 came. My partner's sister passed away from cancer and this was so terrible :(. I thought to myself, and asked myself, WHY can't I say I have HIV?? Why is it that anyone can say they have cancer or diabetes or any other health condition and I am so scared to disclose openly without having that fear?

HIV/AIDS, Neuropathy, Painkillers (My Personal Hell)

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 09:16:00 GMT

Well, where do I start!? I guess pain ... physical and mental. One of the situations that we face with HIV/AIDS is pain ... from neuropathy, aging, etc., etc. I myself was on pain medication -- exactly, Oxycodone. Well, 8 years ago when one of the doctors I saw prescribed it to me, he never told me how addictive it was!!! I wish I knew then what I know now!! I have suffered sometimes more with this little pill than with the HIV/AIDS virus ... that, by the way, I started with half a pill (5 mgs) and ended up with maybe taking 80 mgs a day! This is over an 8-year period as I said. You see, this pill comes in different forms. Names I know: Morphine, roxycodone, oxycodone, oxycontin, codeine, tramal, percodan, etc., etc.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Wed, 19 Jan 2011 14:36:00 GMT

Yes, many may think there is nothing positive in being positive ... but as I have always been taught, and believe, even from something bad or tragic, we can find something good, something to learn from and something that makes us stronger. I am not going to sit here and write that i don't cry sometimes and feel hopeless. I just went through it this week when I got back from my vacation to Disney. I learned that a very close friend and founder of Red Hispana, an organization here in south Florida, had passed. Every time this happens, it really shakes me. I know that we are all going to die, but when someone dies from HIV that I have seen with my own eyes was doing well (well, at least the last time I saw them), it really scares me. I get very very scared. You see, having HIV/AIDS is a process. You go through different cycles. I can say I don't feel the same way as I did 10 years ago ... I was healthier and stronger than now. And it's not that I am sick, but I have neuropathy which hurts and it's caused by HIV meds ... one of the reasons also why I take coenzyme Q10 (I talk about it a little in one of my responses in my last blog and give some tips on natural medication).

Maria's Intro

mariapositive11@yahoo.com (Maria T. Mejia) — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 17:05:00 GMT

I was just turning 18 when I found out I was HIV positive ... I was very young. Back in those days, this was a death sentence. It was around the same time Magic Johnson came out saying he was positive. I was studying in a program in Kentucky named Job Corp and they did HIV testings to all the students that came in new. I remember before all of us kids were getting tested I was answering all the questions correct about HIV (how ironic). To me, this was a disease for prostitutes, drug users or homosexuals so I never thought I would ever be positive. A month passed and I kept on getting slips from the clinic telling me to come in. As I started getting homesick, I went to the clinic, and boom, there I remember an Asian doctor looking at me with eyes of horror ... asking me, why didn't you come sooner? I answered like any teen would: "I don't know." Well he sat me down and he didn't even prepare me! He just said "You have AIDS."