timothy. laurel. olivia. brayden. tate

In the Mean Time...

2013-04-11T10:35:00.000-06:00

Wow. Lots has been going on. I didn't even look at what I wrote last. Was it just about Christmas? No, I think Tate's birthday was in there too. Tim has been invited to interview at each school that he has been accepted to. 5 gold stars for him! His first interview was in Ft Lauderdale. He really liked the school and the area. A week later they called him and gave him the good news that he had been accepted! Yay! At this point we knew that at least we would be moving on to the next step of this journey. When Tim got an interview at the school in California we were able to narrow down the other schools even more. He canceled interviews at ICO, SCO, and Pacific. We knew that being in an apartment for 4 years with two growing boys would be difficult if I would have to keep them cooped up all winter. So we went with the warm climate schools even though Tim still had to get accepted to the one in California.

Tim had a birthday. We made him a birthday breakfast because he had to work that night. He opened presents- although he had guessed all of the gifts perfectly the night before. I finally redeemed myself in the birthday cake area. I made spice cupcakes for him on his birthday to have when he came home from work- gross. But he liked them, I put a candle on one and sang to him- the kids were already in bed so we were going to celebrate the next day. We had a birthday dinner for him the next night. I had made an ice cream cake and it was gooood.

A couple weeks later we drove to California with Tim for his interview. We were going to take the opportunity to look for housing. BIG mistake. The kids had fun swimming and going out to eat. But the whole thing would have been more fun and much easier without them. Why did I think it was such a good idea? Sorry kiddos but its true. Maybe I felt bad leaving Tate with people because he had been such a pill and bringing him seemed easier if the other two came also. I was in tears, I was so overwhelmed looking at apartments. Most of them look pretty run down I am still overwhelmed- ha. Tim's interview was Saturday and they would let us know by Monday. Way nicer than waiting a week like we did with the first school. When Monday came around Tim got another acceptance and now we had options. After finding out that Tim would most likely receive a large (like half tuition) scholarship from the State of Utah if he attended SCCO we decided that that is where we would go. So... we are off to California at the end of July! I still can't finding housing and I am hopeful that the subsidized place (also one of the nicest we've seen) will call us. We were told the waiting list was 3 years long. I emailed them back in September to get on the list but nobody ever got back to me. Sad day. We are packing up and moving out in a week. We will live with Tim's parents for a couple months until we leave for California.

I have finally had it with my weight and lets just say, access baggage. I exercise here and there but I probably overeat (big time actually) and just have a negative attitude about the whole weight loss thing. I want to do it- but by snapping my fingers and magically being thinner, less uhh jiggly, and able to fit into my clothes. I started a blog so that I could pretend people were reading it and that I would have to commit. Yeah, I deleted it cause it didn't work. BUT I put a new app on my phone and I am trying to keep track of everything I eat. The sweetest thing I had yesterday was some banana bread- which is big for me. Last night Tim had a couple of my favorite girl scout cookies (samoas) and asked if I wanted some. I was able to easily say no and didn't think twice! THAT is big. We have a lot of junk in the house right now but so far I have no desire. I am REALLY hoping that this can be a breakthrough. Maybe if I lose a pound or two it will be motivation to keep going.

So for now things are good. I am excited to get to California. Mostly because I know we will be there for 4 years and we now have some direction in our lives. Kids are good, but crazy. Olivia is doing awesome in school. She is reading everything. Books, signs, songs on pandora.... you name it. She is getting better at math, and REALLY wants to take a dance class or learn an instrument, as well as play soccer. Brayden is pretty smart too, he can write a lot of letters (to my suprise, thank you olivia) He is going through a rough spot right now but hopefully we can get through it. Tate is climbing everywhere. He is saying some words, papa, mama, banana, peekaboo.... he mimics a lot and thinks he is pretty hilarious. He is a pretty pleasant kid and its fun for Tim and I to watch him and wonder about his thought processes.

Ok, off to de junk and pack boxes.

2013-02-10T17:49:00.001-07:00

I have been working on this post for a while now- started it several different times.... all without getting very far.

We had a great Christmas. We drove 20+ hours to get to my parents house. The kids were all really good in the car so the drive didn't seem nearly as long as it was. We stayed at a really nice place in south dakota for super cheap. While we were at my parents Tim had to study a lot but I think he still had a good time. Olivia and I went to The Nutcracker with my mom and Jill and Audrey, I couldn't keep myself from sneaking peeks at Olivia to see what she was thinking. She had a big grin on her face (most of the time) and said that her favorite parts were the "pink and blue ballerinas with the tutus that went straight out". The blue one was the snow queen and I don't remember who the other one was.... but I think they are supposed to be everyone's favorites- After the ballet we went to the Pfister hotel for a tea party. The room was at the top of the hotel and had windows all around it so we could see the city. A tea butler came around and told us about the different teas they had. I really liked the one I picked- something citrus. They bring out your teapot and put it on this little holder that kind of swivels up and down so that you can tip the pot and pour your tea. The girls both got their very own teapots full of hot chocolate along with bowl of marshmallows. They both loved adding sugar cubes to their hot chocolate tea cups and they both finished off their entire teapot. I think Olivia was in heaven. It was a really fun time to sit there having tea and again watching Olivia's face. We had little trays of tiny little finger food, scones, and cheese and crackers. I think my favorite was the crackers with an herbed goat cheese or the blueberry scone with lemon curd on top- no- definitely the goat cheese- and to think I didn't even want to try it. Here are some pictures from their website. It was so much fun.

A couple days after that we got to celebrate my 28th birthday. Wahoo. Christmas was fun too. The kids enjoyed their presents from Santa, it was fun to see their excitement. Tim and I gave Olivia and Brayden a Date Night book of coupons. Olivia was NOT happy with that and Brayden still is a bit clueless about the whole thing. ha. (We helped Olivia understand and after going on the January date with me I think she is much more excited about it, we went to the bookstore for a new book and then went to the the Cocoa Bean for a cupcake.) Anyway, so on the 26th my grandma took us out to The Original Pancake House. That is one thing I miss about living in Illinois... having REALLY awesome options for going out to Breakfast. Apparently, Wisconsin has some too. I had the apple pancake and it was so so good. Then my mom (and others, I think) watched our kids so Tim could take me out. We saw Les Mis and went to lunch. It was a really fun day. I think we left the day after that and drove to Utah for New Years. We had a great couple weeks spending the holidays with family but I was definitely ready to get back to our schedule.

January just flew by. Its been crazy. Tim was scheduled to take his test in the middle of the month but ended up rescheduling it so that he could feel really prepared for it. He got an interview to ICO, Illinois College of Optometry.... that was supposed to be the 25th of January and on the way down to the airport the roads were really bad and the shuttle had to stop for a while cause the windshield wipers were freezing. When he got to the airport all the flights had been grounded. So, he rescheduled the interview and came back home. It was a long and frustrating day and it seemed like he had been gone for days. It was weird. Tim was also invited to interview at NSUCO in Ft. Lauderdale. He will take his test the 12th, and then have the two interviews afterwards. Hopefully, once he takes his test he will be invited to other schools to interview. I am getting really anxious for this process to be over with. At times I wish that we would have continued with the optometry path because if we had Tim would be in his 3rd year. But whenever I have wished that, I think of all the good things that happened to us over the last few years and I realize that I wouldn't have changed anything about what has happened in our lives. Even now, with me going crazy with 3 kids in a small space, Tim studying or working all day long, the stress of not knowing whether we will be reapplying to schools for next year, and for some reason not being able to stay caught up... I am still happy that we made the decision to change career paths. I have not once doubted it. I will admit, I am really hoping that Tim will do well on his test, he has been studying soooo hard and trying to relearn things that he knew 3 years ago- I want him to be able to get a good enough score to get an acceptance somewhere so that we can get on with the next phase of this process and move to a different town. I kinda dislike living here. It used to be fun when Tim and I were in school and just had one kid and we knew a lot of people. But taking 3 kids to a store that is packed with many oblivious college students- its just annoying really. More annoying than being in a small apartment with 3 loud children! Ha. So, yes.... moving forward would feel GREAT and I really really hope, for Tim's sake more than mine, that he does well.

Right. So, Tate turned 1 on Monday. We sang to him all day long. I didn't think about getting him a gift cause we have so many toys here and not a lot of space and "oh he isn't going to know or remember".... don't worry, he got a gift. I realized that when Olivia and Brayden turned 1, I was so excited to get them something even if they wouldn't remember. So, I made a funfetti cake from scratch- it might have had a chance if I would have used cake flour like it called for. I didn't make a note to get some and didn't feel like making a substitute so I just used all-purpose. The cake tasted fine but the texture was weird.... a little bit like a stale Costco muffin. And the frosting was super buttery tasting. Eesh. We all had a piece and Tate had a mini cake. He licked the frosting a bunch and when he picked up the cake and took a bite he made a sour face and chucked the top layer. I ended up throwing the whole cake out the next morning. I am striking out with birthday cakes lately. I got a cake from the store for Olivia's and had them put a layer of fudge over the Bavarian cream in the middle. ALL of the kids at the party did not eat their cake. Then, for Brayden's cake, I reused some oil from scones that I fried on Halloween. The cake just tasted like gross, reused oil. I couldn't even take a second bite of my piece so that got thrown out. And now Tate's. For someone who bakes as much as I do you would think I could handle a birthday cake. So a little bit about Tate.... he has 6 teeth; the top front 4 and bottom front 2. I don't know what they are called and I am not going to look it up. :) He has a super fun personality and loves to have people laughing at him. He sleeps through the night- thanks to my mom and dad (for convenience purposes he slept in their closet (walk in- no worries- he had plenty of space and windows etc...)) Tate HATED the taste of milk. He looked as though it were grapefruit juice. I had to mix in a bit of Pediasure to get him used to it and now it is straight milk and he likes it- not as much as formula but we are getting there. He has been taking steps since Thanksgiving but it wasn't until the day after we got back from Christmas that he decided to just give up the whole crawling bit. He is getting speedy and likes to attempt running. He says, Night night, and no, and mama, and papa. And he gets really grouchy and even though he isn't frowning you can tell by the shape of his mouth that he is ticked. It makes me laugh.

Baby It's COLD Outside!

2012-12-10T15:59:00.001-07:00

Things are..... good. There has been a lot going on. Tim still studies all day long, and I try to not go crazy in such a small space. I am getting better at it though. And when I get really behind and overwhelmed Tim helps me get caught up- he is so good at getting things whipped into shape in no time. A lot has happened since last posting, things like Tate is mellowing out a little and keeps himself busy more often. He also now has 6 teeth and his are the least straight of all the kids. Tim is taking the blame for that one but we both had braces and buck teeth- although his were worse than mine. Brayden turned 3 and is a very boyish boy with the exception of his high pitched voice. Its cute but high and a bit whiny... in a kinda cute way. Both he and Olivia I feel like are getting taller every second. They are also handling life like champs. I keep feeling bad that our kids aren't having a normal childhood but they all seem completely happy.

My brother Joe got his mission call. The back story is that he received a call to Tokyo in 2009, and ended up coming home before leaving the MTC. He has learned and changed so much in the years since. I don't think he planned on going back out but as he changed so did his desire to go. He put in his papers and was anxious to hear where he was going since he really, really wanted to be sent back to Tokyo. Well, long story short the papers got lost in the mail and he found out from the Stake President that his call had been reinstated- so he would indeed be going to Tokyo. He was asked to be to the MTC by the end of January. Then he got a call a few hours later saying that they would like him to be there by Oct. 31st. So he had about 2 weeks to prepare and all of his mission stuff from before was at my parents house thousands of miles away. A few days later on a Saturday night he got another phone call and was asked to report ASAP, as in, could he be there on Monday? Tim and I drove down and were able to take him to the MTC. Then my parents drove out with some things for Joe and were able to visit with him in the MTC.

About a week before Thanksgiving we went to southern California. Tim wanted to go meet with someone from one of the schools we are applying to so we drove down and after his meeting we had a tour of the campus. The campus was small and pretty, very calm and slow moving which was very different from the fast paced driving we had to get used to while we were there. On Monday after we got back to the hotel from visiting the campus the kids were excited about swimming. So we put on our suits and headed downstairs. Anyone that saw us must have thought we were crazy because the pool was freezing. Olivia was the most daring and got waist deep but mostly she and Tim sat in the hot tub while Tate and I dangled our feet in. Brayden said it was too hot so he stood around until Olivia had decided she had had enough fun. Tuesday we made our first trip to Disneyland. We probably didn't get our moneys worth but I think the kids had a good time. They met some characters, although Brayden was too shy to talk or even look at any of them, let alone take a picture with them. "It's a Small World" was their favorite. Even Tate was rocking out to the Christmas music. Before we left for California, Olivia had found a show about the Disney Parks on Netflix so she was very excited about finding "The Bippity Boppity Boutique", but I thought it was just at Disney WORLD so when she spied it (cause you know I was not going to point it out) I knew she would not forget about it, no matter how long we prolonged it. Luckily, reservations are preferred and there was a long list of names. I had never seen someone so silently crushed. She was disappointed but was satisfied with the idea of getting some fancy Minnie mouse ears. Tim took Olivia and Brayden on some go kart something and Olivia got to drive. She was very distraught at how "bad" she was. I told her everybody is bad at driving the cars but that didn't do anything to soothe her attitude. We saw a lot of things and waited in a lot of lines but I think that both Olivia and Brayden had a good time. It was VERY hard to leave the warm sun and drive back to cold gloomy skies. I think that trip really made both Tim and I hope for an SCCO acceptance.

I started this post about 3 weeks ago. I announced that Tim and I were expecting a "surprise" baby. While I was writing the post I had a very distinct feeling that I should wait until after my next doctors appointment to announce anything. I told Tim about my feeling and he said it probably wasn't anything since I constantly psych myself out. A couple weeks went buy and I didn't think a whole lot about it because we were busy with holiday and family. Well, at my appointment they couldn't find a heartbeat. They did my exam and then checked again. Still nothing. They wanted to do an ultrasound so as I walked to the room I quickly texted Tim and he was instantly worried. An inexperienced tech came in "to have a peek" and I could tell that the baby was awfully still and I could not see the heartbeat. I mean, it is usually very obvious to see that little heart beating so quickly. It was plain and clear to me so when I asked her about it she said she wasn't supposed to say anything. So, then I waited about 20 more minutes for the actual tech to come in. I was stuck on the exam chair and couldn't get my phone so poor Tim had no idea what was happening and what I already knew. It took her all of two seconds to let me know that I was right. Despite this baby being a shocking surprise, Tim and I had become excited about a new baby and having all of our kids close and early on. I will be 28 in a couple weeks so the idea of being "finished" at 28 was a fun feeling. I called Tim, he was waiting in the car with the boys. They came in and we talked with a doctor about D&C's versus waiting it out and what to expect. I hadn't had a lot of cramping or any bleeding and the ultrasound showed that the baby had not been alive for a little over a week. The doctor suggested a D&C and it seemed like the best option to us as well. Luckily, Tim has a sister near us and she worked out her schedule so that she could watch our kids for us while we went to the hospital that night. It was all very surreal, I don't think I processed any of this until a day or two later. I honestly feel like the Lord gave me the strength to not freak out- for lack of a better word. When we first found out and I walked out of the exam room every set of eyes from all the nurses and staff were on me with an "I'm so sorry" look in them. It was really awkward. I felt disappointed but I understood that the Lord is in control and that he will bless us with a baby when the time is right so I didn't feel really torn up and I felt really guilty about that. Extremely guilty. I think because I know that there are couples who have a hard time conceiving and here I am getting pregnant without even planning it. I don't know what I/we were supposed to learn from this- maybe we weren't supposed to learn anything. All I know is that this experience was one that helped me draw nearer to the Savior, helped me realize that maybe I do want more than 3 kids, and that the kids I have are a lot more awesome than I thought. I realized that I have been extremely stressed and that there is no need to be. I just need to calm down and take life one day at a time. I feel like I have been given this gift of clarity and I am suddenly realizing what things are important and what things aren't. I am really grateful for the Savior and the gospel in my life. I am glad that it is important to both me and my husband. Tim has been really great. He has been stressed about the admissions test and has been going non stop. From the time he met me at the doctors office he was completely level headed. He didn't say a single thing about studying. He found someone to take the kids, cleaned the house, made sure I was comfortable at the hospital, picked up my pain meds, made sure I was taking them at the right times and that I wasn't lifting up Tate or driving. He made this experience so much easier for me and I am really very very glad he still likes me. :)

I am really excited for Christmas and for the Holiday season. As our kids get older I am realizing how much more fun Christmas is becoming. Evie the elf is visiting again this year- only this time the kids can see her. Tim is loving the "naughty and nice list" and said that December might now be his favorite month. Our elf doesn't ever do anything real funny or mischievous but Olivia and Brayden sure do think she is funny. She drew mustaches on a couple pictures and the dry erase marker didn't come off all the way... infact- most of the way. I guess the glass was cheap? So, if your elf is thinking about drawing mustaches- beware! We plan to go to my parents for Christmas so hopefully the kids-and the weather- will behave for the day and a half drive. I love being with my family for Christmas because of all the memories it brings back. Gifts and pj's have been purchased, trees and gingerbread houses have been decorated. All that's left is to get permission from Olivia's teacher to pull her out a week early. Once we get the go ahead we will quickly drive eastward and have a holly jolly holiday!

Deja Vu

2012-08-30T11:00:00.000-06:00

We are settling in to our small apartment nicely. Luckily, this floorplan comes complete with a balcony and decent size storage closet! -It is packed full. I don't remember what I put in the very back- I tried to think logically (like too small girls clothes went in first, etc)- but whatever is in back is not coming out until we move! Also our balcony is housing a lot of empty boxes that need to get broken down and placed in the garbage. Too bad somebody around us isn't moving! So there is still evidence of a recent move but hopefully by the end of this week I will have the balcony cleared off and the rest of the unpacked boxes will be able to find a home somewhere in the already full apartment. The first few days were a bit rough. The kids were overwhelmed and over tired, and used to being able to hop and stomp and yell like dinosaurs and now we have to somehow get it through to them that we have neighbors and need to be respectful. We are on the 3rd floor which is really nice. Moving in was NOT nice but now that that is over with, we can enjoy the benefits of the 3rd floor. It is VERY quiet up here. It's lovely. Groceries are hard but I don't shop all that often. And I may start shopping at night anyway because Olivia and Brayden have been very wild at the store. Not wild in a mean, "we want to destroy things" way but in a "I love life I am so happy lets run up and down the isles" way. It's irritating. But at the same time there is part of me that says, "DO NOT stop taking them to the store- they need to learn how to behave". So who knows what I will do.

Tim is busy with his studies. The initial excitement to be able to read and study again has worn off although he is still excited about optometry school and the military possibilities. He is having a really hard time not working. He is a pretty great student. He will be off studying and memorizing and when he comes home I quiz him and he just spouts the information off like its nothing at all.

*UPDATE*

It is now Wednesday. Everything above was written on Monday. I think. I don't usually know what day it is. The things I need to fix from the paragraphs above... The boxes are gone. !!! I broke them down and took the trip to the dumpster- 4 times. Now I have these 7 or 8 weird polka dot bruises on my underarm. I am wondering if it is from holding a box with giant staples under my arm. Its either that or I have some weird bruising disease. Also, Tim doesn't like when I say memorizing. Enter the word "learning".

Tate is more high maintenance than ever. He ~~crawls~~ inch worms his way out of whatever room I am in. First he goes for the bathroom. If the door is open he pulls the cap off the toilet and sucks on that. (We had a pretty big lecture about making sure the bathroom door is closed.) So if he finds the bathroom is not available for his happy hour he searches out the shoes. If he doesn't see any in his immediate reach he ~~crawls~~ inchworms to Olivia and Braydens room. Where he finds toy bins and shelves to pull himself up with. He was in there the other day when I found him standing against a bin banging on a hat box with a giant grin on his face. Pretty sure he was also hyperventilating. Today while I was drying my hair He pulled himself up with the tub and pushed any bottle on the edge into the tub. Then he spied the caps on the toilet and tried dive bombing them. He is still spitting up a ton. 5 minutes ago it was a combination of formula and sweet peas. Just now he was sitting and sucking on some teething toys. I looked down and there was a lot of spit up. I was cleaning spit up out of the dimples on his knees and legs. I will say that was the first time I have done that. Usually by the time our kids were sitting they were no longer spitting up.

Brayden is... Brayden. He is talking more clearly. Likes to climb on everything. He is a mischief maker for sure. But then he also has his really cute moments. Usually when Olivia is not around. Like at night after Olivia has gone to bed and Brayden is still getting out of bed. Brayden will come out and say funny things like, "hey guys... whats you doooingggg?" Or his timeout spot is on top of the dryer. I asked him if he needed to have a timeout on the dryer- it may have sounded more like IN the dryer. And he said, "HUHHH? And roll me around!?"

Olivia turned 5 this month. She also started Kindergarten a week ago. She loves her teacher and the playground and is too nervous to ride the bus. I don't feel like she is learning anything new, but I am hoping that (now that they have assessed the kids in her class) they will start working on things other than counting to 10. Their first "homework" assignment was for us to hide a stuffed animal and practice with her counting to 10 and then finding the animal.

It is a pretty difficult adjustment going from our nice house to a 952 sq ft apartment. I miss our house and the people around us. I do actually miss Heber- occasionally. I miss having a laundry room. I miss our fridge with cold, filtered water and having a sink deeper than 6 inches. I can't even turn the water on more than a trickle without having the water splashing in every direction- its extremely irritating. I miss lots of things but in the end I really do know that we are in the right place for us. There hasn't been many times in my life where I have felt spiritual confirmation but I have definitely received comfort in our decision to change career paths. It is scary and exciting and stressful and fun. We decided last night on which Optometry schools to apply to. SCCO (Fullerton), SCO (Memphis), Pacific (Forest Grove, Oregon), and ICO (Chicago). So despite how much I miss what we had I am not at all regretting our decision to come.

Change

2012-08-13T07:56:00.002-06:00

In 1 week Tim and I will pack up our children and all of our belongings and begin a new journey. Before we came down here the plan was to go to Optometry school. That was put on hold when we felt like we needed to come work at the shop. Its been a tough decision to leave the shop but alas that was the decision made. After having made the choice, we both received validation and know that the direction we are moving is a good one. It has been a great thing for us to be here and do not regret it in any way. We were able to learn many new things, especially Tim, and have been able to feel more confident in the original decision to attend Optometry School. We had a lot of great things going on here, which I think is what makes it so hard to leave. But we really are very excited for this new adventure. We will prepare for Optometry school- Tim needs to take Biochemistry but other than that and doing a lot of studying and shadowing we should be set for the application process. When Tim graduated he had been going to school 5 semesters straight and working full time, we had a 2 year old and a newborn which meant that while he was going to school he had to deal with an emotional and stressed out pregnant wife... so life was difficult to say the least. Now things will be different, we do have more children but Tim has not been going to school for a year and a half straight. I can tell that he has a drive to focus and do really well on the OAT. I can sense his excitement and that is really fun for me to see.

I have a lot to do this week as Tim is still working at the shop. We don't have a lot of furniture so that wont be difficult. But I need to do laundry and pack. Olivia turns 5 on Thursday and she and Avery are having a combined Birthday Party on Friday. I need to fax Olivia's stuff to register her for Kindergarten. I am bummed that we pulled her out of a dual immersion program- I think that would have been a really awesome thing for her. Aside from packing and cleaning I don't think there is a whole lot to do. Everything is arranged for the new apartment. Gas and Electric are set for the day we move in. I do need to figure out the Internet there but I really do feel like we have things under control. Unless packing up is going to be more difficult than I anticipate. I guess I should plan on eating a lot of frozen meals this week so I can pack the kitchen up.

It feels a little odd to be moving out of a house that we first started living in exactly 4 months ago. But we have owned the house for almost a year and a half which makes things feel less odd. At least we didn't buy it 4 months before deciding to leave. PLUS we are selling the house to some pretty cool people/friends/family which pretty much makes the oddness disappear completely. I am also very excited to see things they can do to help the house on its voyage to becoming a really awesome (and dare I say beautiful) home.

It's been a fun and life changing tangent that we will always be grateful for.

Inch Worm

2012-07-27T09:07:00.000-06:00

Life is beginning to calm down. I have been playing catch up for the last year. Pregnant life with 2 kids under 4 was hard... but maybe it wasn't so much the kids it was our state of life. We were living in the basement at Tim's parents and trying to get a house finished, trying to pack up and move out. So maybe that is what made being pregnant hard. Either way I wasn't keeping up on laundry or cleaning the bathroom, or any of the other things a mom usually does. But even without doing any of that I still don't feel like I was an exceptional mom. I was tired and grouchy, and crampy and tired, and emotional and tired. Then Tate came along and we were still packing up and trying to move. Then when we moved in things were all glowy and the angels were singing for a couple weeks and then it was like a light switched on and I saw my life in the real world again. I was still tired and kids were wild and had even more space to run around being wild and loud.... ha. but they were happy.... despite me going crazy and feeling like I was drowning, Olivia and Brayden were happy so life didn't seem so bad.... and it probably wasn't. It was most likely again- my state of mind. We have lived in our house for almost 3 1/2 months and while I will admit that things have not ever ALL been clean at the same time... they have gotten cleaned. I am doing better keeping up with the laundry (by better I mean I have 5 loads to wash, fold, and put away rather than 10). I have a few goals that I am trying to work on and I feel excited about doing them. I have some craft projects I am eager to start but don't yet have the time because we have a reunion coming up. But life seems kinda glowy with the angel voices again.... just kind of. Tate- while he is still mostly unhappy if he is not being held- is sleeping better through the night. We were doing some sleep training and he slept through the night twice but then he got a nasty case of diarheaa along with a painful diaper rash so every time he woke up I had to change his stinky bum. After the family reunion we will continue with getting him to sleep through the night. He is however crawling (!!!) and I can tell that it will be problematic. Wait, back up. Crawling as in... he gets up on his hands and knees and uses his massive body momentum to push himself forward. He looks like an inch worm. We need to get the computer cords hidden because that is what he goes for. Perhaps if we hurried up and built a desk that problem would be solved. I can also tell that he will be getting happier from here on out because now he can explore. So this video is from this morning. He was going for the spatula and then decided the camera would be a better prize.

Our other exciting news is that Brayden is a BIG boy! Last Wednesday or Thursday I was looking at Pinterest and posted something about potty training and thought.... "this is ridiculous, we are trying to save money and this boy does not need to run around in diapers any more." So Brayden and Olivia and I ran around clapping and saying, "no more diapers!" Then I cleaned up my fair share of urine for the next 4 hours (the boy would go every 5 minutes and then not for 20) but that was that. He walked around naked for a while, I gave him lots of crystal light, and put a couple folded towels on the couch for him to sit on and by the end of the day he was telling me when he needed to go. I hadn't really planned to do it so I hadn't prepared with "potty treats" or stickers so I would give him a few chocolate chips or a marshmallow... but he decided he didn't like those and then didn't really care about getting a treat. Olivia wanted one more than he did. We went to the store that night with Tim and Brayden got to pick out some ice cream and we got some sour patch kids which we gave him the next day every time he went but again he didn't really remember about getting treats. So far we have lucked out. Both kids have been super easy to "train". We ordered Brayden some big boy undies and the were delivered Saturday. I had them washed and ready after Brayden woke up from his nap and he picked out which ones he wanted to wear. We pulled them up and he said, "Ta DAH!!!" So funny. I think he has had 1 accident maybe 2. The other night he was eating dinner and looked up and started telling me he had to go then he looked down and I knew that he had waited too long. But we have made trips to Salt Lake and Provo and he has said in the car that he needs to go but he has held it until we get where we are going. He is doing AWESOME!

Things really are starting to calm down. I am excited for fall. We still have a couple months of warm/hot weather and we still have a reunion and we want to take a trip to my parents and stop in Nauvoo on the way. Olivia will be turning 5 next month and Kindergarten will be starting. So for me the most exciting part of our summer is yet to come. But I am still excited for fall. I feel like maybe my problem with meal planning is that I don't have good summer recipes. Maybe I can find some good ones before summer is over and then next summer I will have meal plans all ready. That would be great. Oh and for journaling purposes Tim is the new Ward Clerk. He will be getting released from one or more of his other callings and I will admit that I am hoping that if he gets released from teaching in Primary (which pretty sure he will) that I get released with him. I have been taking Tate out during class because he just distracts the kids the whole time. Although I guess Tim could have Tate during that time. ha. OK. Crisis averted.

In with the NEW out with the OLD

2012-06-26T10:05:00.001-06:00

Tate- Tate has been a really great little baby the past few days. Except that he still spits up a ton. He is more "settled" as my mom would say. He rolls around, from one side of the room to the other and can turn in a complete circle to reach anything thing that looks interesting-usually something he shouldnt have. I guess it's time that we need to be more careful what is around him. He squeels REALLY loud, he is enjoying the bouncy seat more, and he is getting used to the fact that he does not need to scream when he is in his carseat. Sweet. I actually thought the other day about how I feel like I am actually managing my life now rather than just trying not to drown. It is a great feeling.

Brayden- Brayden is changing a ton too. He is talking a lot more and getting to be more understandable to people. He is becoming a little man and enjoys feeling like a big kid. He is very independent. He still has a 3 hour nap (if we arent too busy having fun outside) in the afternoon which we are both greatful for because he is HIGH energy. Brayden is loving writing and drawing. One of the first things he did this morning was grab some paper and a pencil. And he holds his pencil properly which I think is more than I could say about Olivia at this age. He is a funny boy and unfortunately he knows it. Sunday Olivia and Brayden were playing "Pippin" (based on one of my sister Kristin's dogs) Brayden was Pippin and when we asked them to stop playing fetch with the grapes and for Brayden to pick up the grape in front of him he just sat there. I counted down from 5- which I hate- and he sat there. I told him he better get on his feet so he stood up and said, "HUH??? on my feet?" and as he said that he placed the grape on his foot. He is strange but very funny.

Olivia- Olivia is changing-- on a smaller and slower scale than her brothers but she is becoming a different person. She gets frustrated with reading because she lacks confidence but when she asks for help and I tell her to sound it out she groans but then can say the word within seconds. When I congratulate her she gets a wide grin on her face so I think with a bit more practice and confidence she will be there. I want her to read before she starts the dual immersion program. I am not sure why other than it just seems like a good idea. She has been excited about going to kindergarten and when we pass her school on the way to church she enthusiastically says, "Brayden! There's where I am going to go to Kindergarten!" This past Sunday however as we drove by she said under her breath, "there is my BORING spanish and english school." I am pretty sure she gets moody just to bug us and get attention. She is loving that Avery is living here now. And I am pretty sure she would choose to live with them rather than us. Again when we were driving the other day we saw the missionaries. She asked why they were in church clothes if it wasn't Sunday. I told her that they are usually wearing their church clothes while they go around and teach people about the gospel. Her response was, "Ohhhhh.... so they don't have any fun ever." What a weird conclusion to come to. With a few confidence boosts I am sure Olivia will be a happy little reader, bike rider, swimmer, and school and church go-er by the end of the summer.

Me- I have been struggling with a food addiction. Go ahead and laugh but I am pretty sure I am right. It seems like I can never get enough sweet stuff no matter how much I decide I don't want it. I have been wanting to exercise and haven't had the motivation. Joe's friend Kyle bought Insanity and they are going to be doing it over here. Kyle was nice enough to let me do it too and on my own. So I have been waking up early and reading my scriptures and exercising. I told Tim this morning or maybe it was Joe, that usually I will do some workout and sure it gets my heart rate up but I still found myself looking for the cookie recipes or looking for chocolate. So yesterday I did the fit test and today was plyometric cardio. It was 41 minutes of constant sweat and feelings of weakness and determination. I ate pretty decent yesterday, the only treat I had was a greek yogurt popsicle. But today after the exercise I realized that I had worked so hard today that I most definitely do NOT want to eat crappy. If I am going to work out so intensely I do not want to sabotoge myself. So I think this could be the secret... working out like my life depends on it.

Tim- Tim worked his butt off for I don't know how many months now and things have finally slowed down a bit. Now rather than an 80 hour work week it might be a 50. Maybe more, I have no idea. But it has made a difference in his sanity I think. We were able to relax on Saturday which was great. He was even able to play raquet ball with his brothers last week which I think was really really good for him. And even though he said he would rather be home with me I am pretty sure part of him was excited about going. Tim is doing Insanity with me too and he is excited about it.

So the Old us is outta here and we are changing for the better in so many ways. We have a fun summer ahead of us. A Seiter reunion in July and maybe we will drive out to my parents house in August sometime. I would like to go to the Zoo and the water park, see some movies, hopefully go to the temple, out to dinner a few times... Its looking like it will be loads of fun.

4 months

2012-06-04T09:49:00.000-06:00

Alright so I have been wanting a new camera but because we have one that works-well worked- I figured we would get by without a new camera. But this morning I was feeding Tate some oatmeal and thought I would take some pictures to commemorate his 4 month mark and they pictures were all foggy. I tried rubbing a windexy cloth on it and it changed nothing. So now I am going to beg and plead for a new camera...although there are lots of things we want/need. But cameras are pretty important right?

So Tate is 4 months. He is officially allowed to be starting on solids but I may have started him on some grains a couple weeks ago because he always seemed starving. He has had small tastes of sweet potatoes and green beens, prunes (in case the solids weren't coming out) and some banana. Oh and I am pretty sure he is teething so I smeared some applesauce on a baby washcloth and twisted it up and the froze it so it was like a popsicle. He was pretty darn thrilled about that yesterday. I saw the idea on pinterest but when I saw him sucking the life out of it I couldn't help thinking about soap residue left on it. He is still working on keeping the food in his mouth but Brayden is 2 and still working on that. I took this picture a few days ago and I am pretty sure he looks just the same.

Yesterday one of the things Tim and I were fasting for was that we would be more content and satisfied with our lives. Let me tell you. Yesterday was awful. People started getting grouchy and the house was a mess, we were becoming late for church and then we were definately late for church. I was making a bottle for Tate and Tim was getting kids in the car. I was taking a long time and he didn't know what I was doing so he kicked the door open (can you tell he has been watching Burn Notice?) and it made a big noise and made me mad. He said he wasn't mad but the door was not pulled closed all the way so he knew it would open if he kicked it- and our door is really hard to close and open. Anyway, so I cried in the parking lot for 2 minutes being frustrated and I thought.... this is truly a test of faith. What are the chances of us praying and fasting to be happier and the result is a really crappy day? While we were sitting in the car Olivia asked why we weren't going in. She got really nervous and said that "we need to go learn the spirit". So I took a breather and went in. At some point while I was sitting down Brayden touched my (wrap) dress and without me noticing the dress slid off my leg and I was flashing a giant leg for who knows how long. Awesome. But before sacrament meeting was over we were all happy again and carried on with our day. I ditched the last hour so I could go home and clean the house so that we could not walk in and feel stressed and angry. It was worth it. We had some naps, ate dinner, and played around for a while. We totally passed the test.

Oh- AND- I made Tim teach me how to use the riding mower. So on Saturday, after he told me the basics- I was so dorky and excited as I (very slowly) backed the mower out of the garage and down the driveway around our van. It was awesome. I finally felt like a homeowner.

There's 104 Days of Summer Vacation!

2012-05-25T11:13:00.000-06:00

We are excited about this summer. I'm not pregnant and tired which means we can be outside all summer. I had zero energy to chase B-dawg around last summer. I have some big plans for some scavenger hunts, diy water pads, a road trip to Michigan, a road trip to Bear Lake, and LOTS of sprinklers, perhaps a trip to the zoo or a museum. I want us to have that healthy summer glow and have a blast achieving it. Ok, it will take the kids all of 4 hours but I will need a bit more time... like the entire summer and the help of some diy self tanner. I made the kids take some pictures (on my crappy camera) so we could remember this momentus summer before Olivia starts public school. Tate was happily sleeping so we didnt take any pictures of him this time. I gave Brayden a hair cut this morning- I put him in the bath and then thought I should cut his hair first. So he stood there in the nude. Well I was just about done and I heard a trickling. He was oblivious. I said, "Brayden STOP!" and he said, "huuuh?" Any hopes I had for potty training him soon have been dashed. The kid is not ready. By now Olivia was potty trained and I know boys are different but I was really hoping for a speedy fix for two kids in diapers dilemma.

I put in some pomade and did his hair after we got him dressed. He looked cute, more like a little boy than a baby. With his shaggy do and his footed pj's this morning he looked a little more youthful than he should. After we finished taking some pictures I was uploading them and Olivia came over and whispered that Brayden was putting stuff in his hair. He does this all the time. Soap, Lotion, pomade, diaper cream... if he can find it and open it... its going to get rubbed in. So I looked at him and his hair was covered. It was so greased and matted down. I tried to rub it around but it didn't work. So we left it. His hair is so crusty right now. Its disgusting. But he obviously doesn't care.

HAPPY FIRST DAY OF SUMMER

by the way, I don't know how many days there are of summer vacation. I stole the post title from Phineas and Ferbs theme song.

This is IT. Olivia and Self Insight.

2012-05-24T07:36:00.002-06:00

Olivia- August 16th, 2011

This little girl is pretty disappointed that today is her last day of Pre-school. She has loved her teacher and all the friends that she met. I remember thinking how strange it felt to drop her off at her first day of "school". And now something about the idea of kindergarten seems so much more intense. BUT its not really. Is it? Olviva will turn 5 in a few months and get to go to Kindergarten this year. We went to the "Start Smart" meeting for both the kids and parents and she really had a good time. I could tell she was excited because she went from being nervous and quiet, to following the teacher out of the room when it was time to switch without even caring if I was following her. It was a weird feeling for me to go from being needed to not being needed all within 10 minutes.

I started reading Heaven is Here last night. I only got to page 18 before I decided it was way too late and I needed to go to bed. I told Tim last night (when he was still mostly sleeping from being moved off the couch) that the book sort of frustrated me because the way she talked about life with her kids was so idyllic. Her husband was coming home and the kids run outside and she does a quick mirror check and then runs outside to kiss him. Well, I decided that probably people really can be that happy and settled in life. Don't get me wrong, I really really love my husband but I think I have let life and the stress of children take over. So yeah, when he gets home I sometimes have no idea what I look like and sometimes can't even remember if I brushed my teeth. So I figured out that the book was frustrating me because my life seemed so far from hers... because quite frequently I see my kids as irritations rather than thinking about how funny and cute they are.

So last night Tate woke up and as I gave him a bottle I kissed his little forehead and smelled his cute baby smell. I touched his little fingers and thanked heavenly father again that Tate was still alive and healthy. I woke up feeling sentimental that Olivia is getting older (and the other kids too) and that I need to spend more time enjoying them. When I sat down at the computer Brayden came over and stood by me and the first thing I noticed was his pudgey little fingers while he drove a chunky tonka truck up my left arm and then down my right. I can tell that my kids want to spend time with me and I have been too caught up in trying to get the house looking better or looking at recipes and trying to de-stress from hearing them scream at each other that I usually send them away to play. I said this after the scary thing happened with Tate but the stress of screaming kids overtook me and things haven't changed. But I need them to. I really do NEED them to. I want them to feel loved... even when they need disiplined. I want to have fun and go places. I want them to feel like kids and right now I don't know that they do. So. I did feel frustrated with the book but it was a good thing. Anything that can help me realize what things should take precedence is a good thing. I think I've probably been a bit selfish lately. I'm not saying I need to play with my kids all day and give them attention and I'm not saying I won't keep taking care of the house but there has got to be a middle ground. So Olivia is going to go to school and hopefully be a part of the end of the year program (since she sat out for the christmas one) and then we are going to have a fun day since the house got picked up last night and I already have groceries for meals thru Sunday. Here's to having some fun today.

Tate- Yes Again

2012-05-21T10:29:00.001-06:00

So, for the last couple months I have been missing the charger for our camera battery so there was no way for me to take pictures of my kids. BUT- I found it in a purse that I haven't used lately! So now the battery is charged and has already proven useful. I am sooo glad I found it because Tate has been getting so fun and playful lately. He turns from side to side but is not rolling over yet. He looks really depressed a lot unless somebody starts talking or smiling at him. I dare say he gets that from me. Love the 80's looking edit- makes me think he looks even more like my brother John.

I honestly love making this kid smile. He is such a happy boy if somebody takes the time to make him laugh. Which works out well for him cause he always looks so sad... you can't help but want to stop and make him smile.

Tate is a really loveable kid. Even before the 911 call Tim and I both felt like Tate just has a really sweet little loveable personality. He seems like a pretty quiet and content kid most of the time. One of my favorite things about him is the chubby legs. All the rolls and creases... love it.

Here are Olivia and Brayden around 4 months. I think Tate definately looks more like Olivia which would make sense since most people say Tate looks like a Dunbar. At least one thing they all have in common is these big crazy eyes. Pretty sure they come from Tim. ha. But Olivia and Brayden both look really cute now and their eyes don't look buggy at all to me... so give Tate a little time and his eyes won't seem so crazy. haha.

Tate

2012-05-10T14:30:00.003-06:00

I didn't really want to do this but I guess since this blog is mostly for journal purposes I need to write this down. I think it is theraputic and we don't have money for me to see a therapist. We almost lost Tate this morning. I am a mess. I took Olivia to school and Tate fell asleep on the way home. He doesn't sleep very well in his carseat so I changed his diaper and put him in the portacrib. I wish I wouldn't have done that. My kids sleep on their bellies, they always have and they have been fine. Today however Tate woke up after only 20 minutes of sleeping. He typically finds his thumb and goes back to bed for at least an hour. So I let him cry and kept folding laundry. About 10 minutes later I decided he wasn't going to go back to bed so I went to pull him out of bed and the blanket was over his head and caught under his forehead. I ripped it off and he was pale and his lips were blue. It was the scariest thing I have ever seen. I kept saying I'm sorry to him and I started crying. He was really limp and lathargic so I ran for my phone and dialed 911. My body was in shock and I was shaking. I kept looking at Tate who just layed limp in my arms and his eyes kept rolling backward. The operator wanted to stay on the phone with me until the EMT's showed up. It seemed like a long time and I remember pleading with her to hurry- as if she had any control. Probably within 2 minutes we had 4 emergency vehicles in front of our house. They looked at Tate and the "Chief" tried talking to him and was asking me questions. They pulled out the oxygen and held it on his face while they waited for the ambulance. They kept asking me how I was doing and I didn't really have any words to describe what I was thinking and feeling. I kept thinking I wanted to call Tim and have him here but my phone died right when I said goodbye to the 911 operator. The EMT thought she needed to take Tate in the ambulance because he wasn't getting better quick enough. I told her I needed to call my husband. I had to go plug my phone in to call him. It was really hard to walk away from this woman holding my baby, the woman who thinks he needs to go to the ER in the ambulance, the woman who thinks he's not getting better. Tim was here within a minute- another plus about living so close to his work. Tate started being more responsive and had even smiled a couple times so the EMT said that we could drive Tate to the ER ourselves. By this time Mike, and Mark, and Paul, and Joe had gotten to the house. I was having a hard time. Up to this point I had put up a barrier and was trying to keep my cool and not blubber like a baby. But as soon as Mike asked me how I was doing I lost it a little. The neighbors were all standing outside and it made me feel even more embarassed. I don't like attention so calling 911 was bad enough, let alone having 5 emergency vehicles, and then on top of that the neighbors wondering. Tim keeps telling me it is really great that we have such caring neighbors and that I don't need to be embarassed. But it is really hard to not feel guilty when I am the one that put him in his bed, put the blanket on him, and heard him crying without helping him soon enough. The good thing is that he had been crying when I got him, which meant that he was still breathing. Tate had perked back up but still seemed weak. We drove to the ER and had his oxygen levels checked out. He seems to be doing just fine but I can't stop remembering what he looked like as I called 911. Tim thought it was a blessing that my phone even worked, that it was interesting that it died immediately after I said goodbye to the operator. Today was the scariest day of my life and it very easily could have been a lot worse- thankfully we had a happy ending.

So, Laurel... be grateful for your kids everyday... even while they fight and whine. Help them to feel loved and safe. Read to them everyday. Let them be goofy and wild. Forget about trying to make the house look perfect and the laundry kept up. Hug them, kiss them, tickle them. ... enjoy being a mom NOW.

Clean

2012-05-09T10:48:00.001-06:00

So, things have a place now. I have started the deep cleaning process. I started the week of with a bang and them kinda fizzled but in about 2 minutes I am going to run around and be productive while "blessing" #3 is sleeping. ok. Kidding. I lurve my kids. And Tate really is a blessing. He is wonderful... except at night. He is reverting back to newborn sleep patterns.

I also need some ideas for a new hobby so I dont bake so much. Landscaping sounds appealing, of finding out how much it will cost to paint our house. But I don't think I want to paint the house until we can get some charcoal colored shingles... and I don't want to paint shutters because I want them to look good with the painted brick. But maybe I could just put a fresh coat of black on. But I want to get the outside of our house looking not so neglected. So, I need some inexpensive hobbies people.

Ok. the next time I update my house is going to be completely organized and clean. Here's hoping I will post again sometime this year.

3 Months...

2012-05-05T08:39:00.000-06:00

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Yesterday marked our 3 month mark. So far we are surviving. Actually it is better than surviving. Life is a bit tricky some days and other days it all seems really easy. And probably what makes the difference is my mood. If I am feeling patient then the day probably goes smoothly but if I am a wreck it is not so fun. Tate is such a good boy though. He smiles all the time. He likes to be held but what baby doesn't? So, when I need to be making dinner or something and he is sitting in the swing or laying on the floor, it is only a few seconds before he feels like he got the shaft. He loves bath time. He looks like he is having seizures cause he flails around and splashes so much. Its fun. I am enjoying this young stage but at the same time I want him to get older and be more playful cause he is really cute and happy.

Sa-Wheet!

2012-05-02T14:10:00.001-06:00

Ok, progress report.

I. am. AWESOME.

Monday I went through all the storage boxes downstairs. A lot of them are baby girl/boy too small things, and some cans of food storage. How long are those things good for? Must get moms recipe for blender pancakes so I can use up the wheat on something yummy. Why can't I type "things" right the first time. Everytime I type the word it comes out as "thigns". Weird.

So, I brought up books, bathroom stuff, cleaning products, some linens... I brought up anything I would want upstairs. And I put it away. uhh.. that took all of a couple hours.

I put the books, adult and kid, on either side of the entertainment center. It looked BAD. Even Tim didn't like it. He saw it and said he felt like a hoarder... like he just had junk thrown around the house. So, I brought a heavy shelf up on my own... thank you Jillian Michaels and put it in Olivias room and we put the kid books on there and then what books we had left of ours I put on the shelves behind the cupboard doors. Now the shelves are empty again and looking so much better... (sigh).

How did our parents do it? I understand the whole issue with young people wanting what their parents had but they forget that their parents had decades to accumulate stuff... But, how do you decorate a house when you have no money to decorate? Am I doomed to have an empty house for the next 10 years? Whatever, it looks better empty for now so thats all that matters.

I still have some work to do. I want to get all the bathrooms sorted out... like the thigns- see I did it again. the THINGS put in drawers and cupboards. I had to buy 4 new towels yesterday because I didn't like drying my body off with a rank smelling towel. Talk about gross. But we don't have towel bars or hooks up so nowhere really to dry towels. Before I ditch all my gross towels does anybody have any tips on removing that gross mildew smell?

So, the bathrooms need set up and given a good deep clean. And the laundry room needs purged of all the tools. I would like to remove them to the garage which is already filled to the brim with construction so why not?

I am in the market for a dining table and chairs and a desk. Tim would like to build these items but considering he doesn't have much time on his hands it might be a while.

so, still stuff to be done but things are looking easy peasy from here. I thought going thru boxes and finding things a home would be the hard part.

Celebrity

2012-04-30T15:35:00.000-06:00

I read once that a celebrity's #1 diet secret is fan accountability. I know I am no celebrity but I figure that when we write things down they become more real right? Even if nobody reads it, I will at least feel like I have to answer to myself.

So, I am starting over. I have a plan and I need to carry out that plan. For now though the only thing I am concentrating on is moving in... COMPLETELY!

Today I have gotten quite a bit done but I still have more to do and I haven't even started on the basement yet. I need to find a place for everything. Lately I haven't had a whole ton of energy to do anything but if can get things squared away then I will just have the day to day keep up right? And I won't have the fact that most of our stuff is still downstairs in apple boxes hanging over me.

So, from here on out I promise myself that I will not waste so much time on the computer and baking. I will work really hard to get the house in order and everything put in ints place. I am giving myself until the end of next Monday.

By next Tuesday morning I will have all of the boxes in the basement unpacked and their contents put away AND the house will be picked up and ready for a good deep clean.

Ok. thats that. Progress report to come.

Goals Shmols

2012-04-25T20:36:00.002-06:00

I had a lot I wanted to do today and so far I haven't done it. Blogging was far from my To-Do list. Oh wait, I made a few phone calls and swept the floor, I did make my bed and moved some laundry around. I made banana bread, another thing not on my list.

So, I got back from my parents just over 2 weeks ago. Tim (and others) worked really hard to have the house "move in" ready. I was so excited to see the house and for good reason- the place looked awesome. There are still some unfinished projects so we are not all the way moved in which means that I am still dealing with boxes and dust but I am SOOOO happy to have our own place again. I love Tims parents and they were so patient in dealing with us for 2 years but man does it feel great to feel some sort of independence! There have been so many changes to the house and I am excited to do a before and after slideshow but for now I will just give you a few sneak peeks...

The kitchen is now on the back side of the house where a family room or dining room was before. The under counter lights still need put up and at this point the pendant lights and chandelier had not gotten here.

There used to be a nasty fireplace here! Now it houses the bulit in bench for our future dining room table... yeah we're eating our meals at the island.

A look down the hallway... love the floors but with so much dust still they don't stay clean long. Actually the dust will probably be cut down a bit when the garage has been cleared out and we can actually walk through it to get to the mudroom. someday... :)

This doesn't look so cool in the picture but the wide open stairway makes a big difference in modernizing the house. The basement however remains unfinished but still looks MUCH better than it did.

Well, there you have it. Some recent pictures of the house. My only complaint is that the granite does weird things like, it gets darker when it gets wet and a stick of butter (in the wrapper) left a grease stain. So because it seems to be doing strange things I am scared to put anything hot on it... like its going to crack down the middle.

Things are good though. Tate is gretting huge and he is a generally happy baby. I am really anxious to start feeding him solid foods. But I guess we are still another month away from that. The other night he slept from 7:30-4:45... I was thrilled, but I knew it was too much to hope for him to keep doing it. Bottom line is that he is a good sleeper. I love putting him in his bed and having him put himself to sleep. AWESOME!

Olivia and Brayden are..... wild. No, they are mostly good. But aren't all kids? They all have moments of badness or rebellion? Olivia makes us nervous. She is still acting like she is 16 already. And Brayden... well, Brayden is turning into a boy. He finds dangerous things to play with. Like today he opened a box of lightbulbs and started clanging them together. Why can't he enjoy playing with toys!?

Ok, so they are wild, but I love them. Brayden stares at me with his big, sometimes brown, sometimes hazel eyes and can look so grumpy but its just a game cause then this wide toothy smile smiles at me and quite frequently starts inhaling my cheek with slobery kisses. The kid is weird but funny.

And Olivia is a good helper. She likes to be a big sister and she loves school. She gets nervous in new situations and it reminds me how innocent and vulnerable she still is... see I forget because she acts like she is 16. She is a good girl though.

Oh, so here is a picture of Tate. I know I haven't posted any, and its probably because I haven't taken a whole lot. But we are good. Things are good. We are trying to get a hang of this new life and sometimes it kicks my butt but I'm getting there.

Another Quickie...

2012-03-28T09:40:00.001-06:00

So.... Yeah it's been a while. Tate is now just about 2 months old! My parents came to help out with packing and cleaning and working on the house. After a week and a half or so the kids and I jumped on a plane with my mom to go stay at my parents house for a while. It was a long day in the airport (flying standby) but by the end of the night we were fast asleep at my parents new house in Wisconsin. Kristin and Jill both live not too far so Olivia and Brayden are having fun playing with cousins and Tate is enjoying being smothered with loves and kisses. Kristin's girls are older so they have enjoyed holding Tate and giving him bottles.

Tate hit a few milestones while we were here. He has doubled his birthweight, he started smiling about a week and a half ago and it is soon fun to see him light up when he sees me... I will admit I think the kid is partial to me. He has gotten chunky. He has rolls all over his legs and he has "bracelets" on his arms, a few chins, and his cheeks are droopy cause they are so heavy... And he try's to roll over a lot. He is not content just laying around so he his always trying to move around.

Brayden is talking more and is more understandable to more people. He is having fun playing with his boy cousins... Running around with trucks. Both olivia and brayden are enjoying going on walks with grandma and grandpa and seeing raccoon footprints. We got to witness springs arrival on the tree right outside our bedroom window. It's been a lot of fun. When the flights look good we will venture back to Utah and perhaps even get to help Tim do some final things on the house. He has been working really really hard to get the house done and its coming along. He wont send me pictures anymore... Either he wants me to be surprised or he is making me impatient so I will come home. Ha.

So life is good but both Tim and I are exhausted. Tim more than me I should think. We are working on Tate's nighttime routine. Last night marked the first time he slept in a crib all night. I gave him a bath and then fed him and put him to bed around 8:45. He slept until 1:15. I made a bottle and put him in his bed and he went right to sleep- no crying. He woke up again at 4 and had half a bottle and again he went back to bed without a sound which was impressive because I changed his diaper and it kind of woke him up even more. Then he wakes up for the day at 6 just like the other two early birds. So last night was pretty good. I think we are finally getting the hang of a schedule. But poor Tim needs thestupid house to be finished. I need it finished too but I think he needs it done more than I do.

The house has all the cabinets in and the hardwood floor. Carpet is here but not installed yet and the granite guys are coming on Friday to install the countertops. There is some work still to be done on the crown and baseboards and then the plumbing and light fixtures. We are getting there though thanks to Tim and some good help from family and friends. I am so so excited!

Until then probably.

Oh Man.

2012-02-11T15:48:00.000-07:00

Ok, nursing is killing me. Its been a week and I feel like crying every time he latches on. I actually have started crying twice but I may have been overwhelmed and over tired in addition to being in pain. Tim has had pneumonia so we haven't wanted him handling Tate much so I have been a one woman show. I have been dead set on switching to formula but my money saving husband is encouraging me to be strong and wait it out another few days- which is most likely when the pain will subside. This happened with both other kids but man, this kid really gets latched! I had a great plan to pump a bottle- only I don't have my pump handy so I did it by hand. I know, again with more information than needed. So I got enough in the bottle for the size of stomach he probably has a this point. I picked up the room a little and kept thinking how me investing in a half decent pump was enough of a compromise, that Tim and I could both get what we want. I really did feel this sense of euphoria that I have not yet felt since this boy was born. I know- it sounds bad. I love him I promise but this was a HUGE turn in my nursing attitude. I was so excited to try him out on a bottle that I woke him up- it was time anyway for him to eat. So I unswaddled him and he had his first blowout... how memorable. I got him cleaned up and changed and then I sat comfortably upstairs and watched him start chugging. I burped him a few times in between but before long the bottle was empty. Crap. He was looking for more. My awesome plan was not working. I didn't want to nurse him. But he was hungry so what was I supposed to do. So, I almost cried again- twice cause he wasn't happy with just one side- only the pain didn't last as long. My awesome plan was shot to pieces. I still think a semi nice pump could be a good solution to my main complaints about nursing... So, we'll see.

Both Brayden and Tate were sleeping but then Brayden woke up so now I have to be a mom again. Olivia was delightfully distracted with cousins so I was kinda on my own. Real quick though, I measured my hips- they were 39.5 inches around the largest parts of my bottom half. I haven't done the best job wearing the shrinkx thing- I have worn it a few days for a good 8 hours but I measured this morning and I was just under 39. So, maybe they would have gone down some on their own or maybe this is starting to work. We will see how much different things seem in a few weeks.

"Dang It!"

2012-02-10T14:30:00.000-07:00

Alright so just something funny to share.

Brayden is super into his little brother. I had Tate in the carseat up on the table so Brayden couldn't crawl in there with him. So, of course Brayden stands on the chair to get a better look. I asked him a few times to get down and he didn't listen, so I said it more forcefully and all I hear is a low growling "Dang it!" It made me laugh.

He did it last night at dinner too. I kept telling him that if he wanted chocolate milk (bilt- weird but thats how he says milk) he needed to eat his dinner. It was 2 more seconds before I heard him say, "dang it, dang it, DANG it." The kid is weird but funny. And it is amazing how huge he seems now. He is massive.

Ok, Ok...

2012-02-07T12:10:00.000-07:00

So, apparently I am not taking my parenting/recording duties seriously. We had our baby!

Saturday morning I woke up with some cramps, nothing major. Then I started feeling some braxton hicks and they were happening a bunch. So I started timing them, 5-6 minutes apart but they weren't painful so I wasn't sure what to think of it. I talked to Tim and told him but I didn't want to get myself excited so I pulled out some rolls to make breadsticks and saw some spotty bananas and planned to make banana bread. Then the contractions started getting more painful. Then they got a bit closer. And more painful. I put Brayden at the table with some chicken nuggets. I was going to bring some leftover pizza to the guys working on the house with Tim but told him he would have to come get it. Not too long after that I felt a little bit of "stuff" leaking. I know TMI. This was not amniotic fluid, it was much different. I went upstairs to see, and it looked like it was probably meconium. Thats when I went into shock (literally) and called Tim and told him that we were going to the hospital. We threw some stuff together both for us and the kids and left.

We walked in and I told the nurses that I may be in labor. They took me to a room, I changed into a gown and she checked me. I was a 3 almost 4. She did a pH strip test to see if what I was leaking was amniotic fluid but it wouldn't turn blue or whatever. She was confused because I was deffinately leaking meconium which is a sign that the baby could be in distress but there was no sign of amniotic fluid. Weird. She hooked me up to the monitors and said that we werent going anywhere. That was around 12:30. She called the dr. -he cut his ski day short. While we were waiting for the dr., the nurses were a little concerned about the baby. The heart rate would drop really low with every contraction. The dr. came in and checked me and I was a 4 then he said he had bad news- my heart stopped for a second- His daughters were in a state swim championship and he needed to be there. Tim and I agreed that he should be there and I admitted that as much as I liked him I didn't care who delivered the baby. When he checked and I was a 4, he figured he would be back by 7 and in time to deliver the baby. So he left. I wasn't dilating fast enough and so the worry for baby was getting greater. I was ready to be pain free and get an epidural but they had to get an entire bag of fluid in me first so I laid there watching it drip while I was in misery. Poor Tim had to keep watching me in pain. He kept asking what he could do. There wasn't anything he could do so I really did feel bad for him. Anyway, but finally it was time for the epidural. The process took a lot longer than my last two but he seemed to be more careful and talked us thru the process more... he waited till after contractions eased up and then kept going... The epidural began kicking in thankfully because every single contraction was getting worse than the last. There was none of this gradual build up- each one really was so much more intense than the last one. They did an amnio flush or something to run fluid in and relieve some pressure off the babys head. It was getting intense fast. So fast in fact that after the epidural had been working for 45 minutes or so I started feeling the contractions again, and they were hurting a lot. They said that it could be that maybe I started progressing really fast and the dosage couldn't keep up with my body. After a few more contractions I told the nurse that I was feeling a lot of pressure -you know where.

The nurse checked me again and her eyes got big. I was fully effaced, fully, dilated, and at a -1 station. They told me not to push while they ran around prepping the room. They called the dr who was on call but my nurse was thinking she might end up delivering the baby. The dr. came in minutes later all dressed and prepped and sat down at the end of the bed doing what he needed to. By that time about 6 people other than the dr. were standing in the room; 2 respiritory therapists, the anesthesiologist, the 2 nurses that had been helping me... and who knows who the other ones were. I guess it was a slow day. So, we waited for the next contraction, they asked me if I needed reminded how to do this... I didn't remember but isn't it pretty basic? Anyway, I didn't have time for a refresher. This baby was coming out whether we were ready or not. I pushed through one contraction. good. Felt some progress and people told me good job. Next contraction, started pushing and they told me to stop. Tim kept saying "stop!" I saw the blueish gray head of a baby then the layers of cord around its neck. The dr. untangled the cord and I'm pretty sure the baby finished my job on its own. It was when the dr. was handing the baby to the nurse that I noticed something that isnt usually found on a baby girl. I was confused. I looked at Tim, he looked confused too. I dont know if it was a nurse that informed the dr. or whether it was our faces but he was not holding the little girl that we were expecting. No, we in fact had a baby boy! Other than feelings of shock we were excited. I was thrilled to have the process over with. It had taken just under 4 hours once getting to the hospital to have our little baby! It was all very surreal. From me going into labor naturally, to the rather fast delivery, to us trying to remember what boy names we had liked before.... it was unreal.

He was born at 4:08 on Saturday, the day before my due date. I would have never thought that possible. We were discharged from the hospital Sunday afternoon. He is pretty good. I thought he was quiet like Brayden was but yesterday he proved to be a loud mouth- more like Olivia was (and still is).

So, here he is... Tate James Seiter

I Don't Even Want to Write This

2012-02-01T10:39:00.003-07:00

I have made ZERO progress since last week. Unless you count measuring an inch bigger and gaining 2 pounds. The dr. wanted to attribute it to water weight but I'm pretty sure it had something to do with all the things I baked last week. I am more swollen and puffy than I was a week ago but since my ring still comes off easily its probably not all water weight- if at all. All of this is probably for the better. Tim has a bad cold/cough and hasn't been sleeping very well. Maybe not having the baby anytime soon will give him some time to recover and get some rest before the babe gets here.
I told the dr. that I was going to start walking stairs and he was all for it. So why not? Hilary had a better idea and suggested that I dance my pants off with Richard Simmons. I think that could have some good potential.

HOUSE: the main color in the house (benjamin moore- lenox tan) is all painted. The blue for the laundry and master bath is done (bm- wythe blue) as is Braydens room (behr elephant skin). I am not as thrilled about the paint as I was hoping to be. The Elephant Skin for Braydens room and the master bedroom are more muddy than stormy gray and that is a little disappointing. We need to do Olivia's (pink- somewhere between behr cran brook or silk ribbon) ceiling and touch up her room a bit. THIS was the inspiration for her room.I am trying to decide if we go get a different color for the master bedroom. Maybe I will go look at it today I will like it better. I do think that when the trim and crown are up everything will look nicer. Perhaps it would have been a good idea to just bring home some samples rather than considering our timeline and just going for it. So we are pretty much on the home stretch with the paint. Most likely Tim will be ready to tile by the end of this week.

6 days.

2012-01-30T13:55:00.000-07:00

I was really excited to hit the 39 week mark yesterday. I would have been more excited to have a baby by now but at least there is an end and I am getting closer to it- whenever that may be. I go to the dr. on Wednesday. I want to assume that there has been some dilation and effacing happening but I don't want to get my hopes up. I have had pains on and off. They will happen for a couple hours and then go away... mostly they are at night (dinner time-ish), probably cause I have been on my feet a lot by the end of the day and my body is just tired- they usually calm down by the time I lay or sit down. I woke up with some motivation to get a few things done but that motivation has now been drained. Setting up tents, making the bed, starting a load of laundry, dealing with the arguing that comes from brothers trying to punch tents down or heads getting bonked, getting lunch ready and dealing with Olivia not wanting to eat or Brayden wanting more to eat because half my hot dog and an adult portion of soup is not enough for him.... my energy stores are depleated. I know I need to just let Olivia be hungry if she doesn't want to eat but then I have to deal with the whining a couple minutes later. Honestly it starts within minutes- even if she does eat a decent lunch, she says she is hungry again within 30 minutes.
I am getting nervous about having a 3rd child. About what life is going to turn into. I have a schedule (very basic) right now and life works out just fine. But all of it will need to change once this baby comes. I will need to work in getting ready at a time when Brayden is not around- he loves babies too much and I would worry for her safety. My options are looking like early morning before he wakes up or not until 1 when he goes down for a nap. I want to start exercising again as soon as possible- I have suprisingly been really missing going to the gym and working out. I would LOVE to go to a zumba class right now -maybe I should and it could put me into labor- which is weird for me because I remember feeling really awkward going the two times I did before. I think I am just dying to be active again after feeling like such a blob for 9 months- not that I was uber active before. I think I am beginning to feel nervous about all of this and feeling very unprepared. I don't think I will be able to go to the grocery store with a newborn and Brayden (who needs to sit in the cart still). Where will my groceries go? He is not a gentle giant. He squeezes bread and sits on fruit... we have tried it before because he HATES sitting in the front but where do I make him sit? In front. I have gotten used to doing things with these two kids and we have it down- it all works most of the time and now things are going to get joggled around again. Trust me, I am VERY excited to have a new little baby- no matter how difficult life may get. I'm just suddenly catching on to the fact that life WILL without a doubt be DIFFERENT.

I think I will once and for all get our room perfectly clean. I will put my hospital stuff in a bag rather than just have it sitting out on top of the baby clothes. I will think about things that I need to have for Olivia and Brayden depending on when/what time of day we end up going to the hospital. I should just pretend that we are going to the hospital tonight to get induced and have everything organized and orderly. Even while I write this I think, "whats the point". I am convinced that no matter how badly I want to go into labor- we will be getting induced sometime 2 weeks from now. I think thats why I haven't taken packing for the hospital seriously. Really though, I need to go straighten up. And despite what I think I will prepare for what I am hoping for!

Todays Appt.

2012-01-25T13:53:00.000-07:00

Sunday I started having a lot of back pain. It was kinda dull and achy but then would get a lot stronger very quickly. Then I noticed a lot more pressure and achiness and more round ligament pains. I had some round ligament pain this afternoon when I was giving the kids lunch... it was really painful. Anyway, but this morning was my appointment and I wasn't planning on having him check me but because of what I had started feeling I was really curious. He measured my belly and I was measuring 35 weeks. What!? I thought I was supposed to get bigger? I measured 39 wks a week ago. Brittney said this happened with Cam and the dr. told me it really isn't a cause for concern and that most likely the baby just nestled down further. -which would explain the increase in pressure and achiness. So, I haven't really started dilating just a 1 maybe but I am 50% effaced. So SOMETHING is happening. Hopefully I will keep making progress and we can get this show on the road sometime soon. People keep mentioning that it would be nice to have somebody on the Seiter side with a January birthday. I am all for it.

So thats that. As for the house update: the sheetrock/drywall (depending on where you are from- I always called it drywall) is up, taped, mudded, textured, and sanded. Yes, that means its done. WooHoo! We made a trip to home depot last night and got the paint. Tim will spray on the primer today... don't know how far he will get. But we have what we need to get the house painted. After that comes the tile!

Short Again

2012-01-20T08:59:00.001-07:00

Tim has been blowing insulation in the attic (now has an R value of 50 (120 bags)- I guess that is good and will get us a decent rebate ($640) from the gas company) so we went with him yesterday to return the machine- which was rented near Logan- yikes. So, last night on the way back into town we stopped so Tim could get his hair cut. I was planning to sit in the car with the kids but decided suddenly that Olivia's hair (that I had been chopping away at) needed to be fixed.

Before... Cute Girl

After... Cute girl.

I will miss attempting new braids or curling it, but as much as I loved doing her hair I think this is much more practical. I also think that hair salons need to invest in somebody to blowdray and style their clients (I guess the really high end ones do). We just went to Great Clips but even when I pay nearly $100 for highlights and a cut I still don't love my hair until I wash and dry it myself. It always just looks flat and kinda dull. Olivia's hair was just kind of so so last night and Tim was nervous. I know he thinks Olivia is really cute and has a lot of pride in our cute kids so it was sad when he tried telling me in spanish that he liked it better longer (he kept telling her in English how pretty she looked). I tried telling him that I could make it look better. So we came home and I got it wet and put some mousse in it and round brushed it. SOOO much better. It changed Tim's mind and he really likes it now. I LOVE it. And I'm pretty sure she does too.

**Last night I stayed up until almost midnight- crazy for me. I said I would post pictures and I hadn't so last night we went over to the house to clean it up a little and I took some pictures. In the post before this there is a link for a web album. **