I want to share a great question I received from a youth pastor.... 

Dear Tim,

I've been reading and learning more about discipleship; however, it seems too many churches don't really promote it or even have that much of a grasp on it. Do you have any tips for ways to go about it?

Dan, Illinois

Let me share an equation I use when quantifying the results of ministries I serve. 

You measure what you value; you produce what you measure.

When I have the opportunity to consult with a church or provide coaching to a congregation, my first inquiry is always, “Please show me your youth in ministry.” I don’t ask about the building, budget, or broken down bus, etc. What I really want to view is young people actively engaged in doing the work of the ministry – their ministry. (If you can’t show me any, I know the real results already.)

There is only one objective for youth ministry – for the whole church in fact. That goal also defines the purpose of ministry clearly and concisely. It is synthesized with one dynamic word: discipleship. It is the last word Jesus spoke when he commissioned his faithful few. It was his number one priority and our number one failure. Ironic.

How do you measure discipleship? 

In order to assess the effectiveness of youth ministry for your church, there are basically two factors that require consideration: relationship and ownership. Period. Those two words comprise the key elements needed to accomplish the primary objective Jesus gave before he ascended. 

If you want to know what you value, just stop and consider what you measure. Most youth leaders calculate and count the wrong indicators. Numbers. Digits cannot indicate effective discipleship. They are a means of measurement, but what do they really determine in light of our real mission?

I replied to Dan with a tongue-in-cheek answer that contains more than a hint of truth. “Deadbolt the youth room.” Sound drastic or just sarcastic? Listen closer to my questions: 

If I came to your church and forbid you from planning, preparing, or programming another meeting for six months, what would your ministry look like? Simply put, What would happen if we would deadbolt the youth room door? 

For too many youth pastors, they would be completely lost because meeting and ministry have become synonymous when in fact one is usually the greatest obstacle of accomplishing the other. Students’ live are changed through relationship, and relationships that change lives take time. If the majority of our time is spent in getting ready for meetings, how much time do we actually devote to discipleship? The answer to that question tells a lot about what we value.

This week I encourage you to reconsider your role as disciple maker. Leave the meetings to youth. Yeah, that’s right. Give them ownership of their ministry. They won’t ruin what you’ve built. Actually, if you give it away, it will be better than anything you and I could create for them. In other words, give youth ministry to youth. Now, take that new free time you have from no longer worrying about what Wednesday nights look like and intentionally share your life in Christ with students. Basically, invest in relationships. 

Try it. You will find you have never been more effective in accomplish the only objective Jesus gave you when he called you to youth ministry. If you want to still measure numbers, just look at how many more students have a real role in planning their own program. Then take a look at how many more minutes you have invested into young lives.

Ownership with relationship equals a good start to long-time, life-transforming discipleship. 

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(The follow post is the manuscript from a message spoken at the National Youth Worker's Convention in Nashville on November 20, 2010.) 
 

I remember the first time I walked into this event. Nearly 15 years and 30 pounds ago. I felt like a lot of you did yesterday when you stepped in the door. It was like someone planned this just for me. Cared enough about my ministry to set me up for greater success. Maybe that's how some of you felt your first time at NYWC yesterday, or for some of us, yesteryear.

I recall the first time I was asked to lead a night session here, the first time to teach a seminar, and now, the first time to speak in the Big Room. As I prayed about this message, the significance of first times kept rising to the surface. 

Do you remember your first time? Not your first NYWC. Your first time. Yes, that first time. If you haven't had that experience, yet, just follow along. Most people never forget that moment. Whether you waited for your wedding night and it happened in God’s time, or early, or by accident, or tragically, by force for some in this room, I'm sure it is imprinted in your mind. You might prefer to forget about it.

Do you remember who it was with? Was it everything you expected? Just like you imagined? Perfect. Exciting. Fulfilling. Maybe not. More like awkward. Even painful. Embarrassing. I'm sure the memories run the gamut, and no, I really don't want to know the details. No need to turn and tell your neighbor and testify or text your comments to the stage in 16 minutes. Just remember.  

 "We were made for first times. We were created to create."

God placed within us the desire and necessary components required to conceive *. While sexually our culture gets the cart in front of the horse with first times happening out of order and ahead of God's schedule, not all first times require postponement. We don't need to wait until adulthood or until someone declares we're now at an appropriate age to experience the ecstasy that accompanies other firsts.

I’ll never forget one of my first times. I was 8. My dad was injured running, so the pastor suggested that I fill in for him. 33 years later, I still remember that special night…when I sang my first solo in church. I still remember every word of the song, too. It was One Day at a Time. And 33 years later, making music is part of my daily life, and I've passed it on to my sons. I learned at 8 that I was created to create and bring glory to God.

I remember my first job. And the first car that I bought with the money from that first job. It was a ’70 Nova, midnight blue with a 307 and 200 horsepower. Way too much car at 16. Certainly not as nice as my parents Lincoln, but it didn’t matter. It was mine. I owned it. And showed it off as much as possible.

There are too many firsts to mention, but my first full-time youth pastorate seems appropriate to discuss. Once my ponytail and earrings made it past the interview committee, I was off and running. Was is everything I expected? Perfect? Exciting? Fulfilling? Sure, sometimes. Other times it was awkward, painful, and embarrassing. I wish I could forget some moments from that first ministry position, especially the times I found myself feeding the youth ministry machine Kara Powell described yesterday.

What I forgot as a first-time youth pastor was how I got there in the first place. I forgot firsts that happened in my childhood and my adolescence. Failed to remember the people who believed enough in me to step aside and let me try new things. The adults who supported my ideas and gave me a chance to create regardless of how outrageous my dreams and desires were.

If I asked for a show of hands, I bet everyone can recall exactly how we got here today and why we accepted a call to youth ministry. And I bet it ties back to someone who gave you a chance – a first time. Maybe it was something as simple as leading devotions at youth group, planning an activity or event, or playing guitar with the worship team. Perhaps it was something more significant. Maybe they supported your desire to do something outside the four walls of the church like tutoring younger kids, standing up for foster kids, protesting a cause, or fighting social injustice. Do you remember the first time and who helped you make it possible? Do you remember who believed enough in you to give you a chance, get our of your way, and support God's call on your life? Do you remember how good the first time felt?

There's a young lady in our church who will never forget the first time God used her for his glory. She determined in the 4th grade that every kid in our poor, little community deserved a new back pack. She always went to school fresh and ready for the first day, but she noticed that wasn't the case for all her peers. So with the help of her friends and some slight adult coaching, she gave away 50 new backpacks that first year. Now, 6 years later the project has grown. 247 young people walked through the Endeavor Center where Madeline and her fellow Endeavorers passed our backpacks, school supplies, hygiene kits, clothes, and offered free hair cuts by licensed beauticians. And all because someone listened to her heart and gave her a first time.

Amazingly, not one adult did any of the work to make it a reality. Why would we? Why we would we ever do anything for young people in the church they can learn to do themselves?

"Why would we do their ministry for them?"

In order to stop feeding the youth ministry machine we simple need to stop doing ministry for youth and give ownership of ministry back to young people like youth ministry was when it began a little more than one hundred years ago.

Eventually, we have to quit being both parts of the conception equation – the sperm and the egg. Instead of conceiving ministry for youth, we need to start encouraging, fertilizing per se, the things they are passionate about changing in this world. As you know, ownership begins with conception, so if students don't get to be at least 50% of the process where they conceive, carry, and birth their own ministry why would they be excited about the program we create for them? Why do we expect them to love our ideas? Jesus understood this principle and put it into practice with His own youth.

God’s Son showed up on the scene and broke many of the same rules we need to abandon today. Instead of setting up shop and planning an event to draw students, he went out and recruited. Instead of seeking seasoned experts for His team, He chose the inexperienced and trained them. Gave them first times.

The first time Peter met Jesus, his fishing skills were challenged. “No more fishing at night and netting a few off the top, Simon. We’re going deep and in broad daylight.”

The first time Jesus sent His disciples out in pairs to care for their community, they came back defeated. He didn't step in and take over and do it himself. He just called a huddle and sent them back in the game.

The first time Philip shared His heart with Jesus a multitude was fed. It’s time to recognize that feeding the crowd wasn’t even Jesus’ idea. And He blessed so more than a fish sandwich. He blessed the ingenuity and compassion of a teenager who recognized hungry, hurting people in his community.

Instead of doing ministry for His young disciples, Jesus taught them. They caught His compassion. Learned by doing as He coached. Before long He stopped calling them students and called them friends. Made them peers in the Kingdom. Included them in the mission and stopped seeing them as the mission.

At the end of His earthly ministry, Jesus said. “Follow my example. Go make disciples just like I showed you how.”

So what's that mean for us? It means we have to stop conceiving ideas, plans, programs, events, conferences, and activities for young people and then asking them to adopt ministry children then didn’t help create. It means we have to stop believing that meetings and ministry are synonymous. As a matter of fact, God would accomplish more transformational ministry in young people if we would deadbolt the youth room door and spend our time helping teens respond to God’s leading in their lives.

Friends, it's really not our job to do youth ministry. Our job is to help youth do ministry. See how the context changes when we get things out of order just a little bit? It’s like first times. Get our passion in front of God’s plan and bypass God’s provision. Just because our ministry it feels good to us doesn’t mean it’s God’s will for young people – it doesn't mean they own it.

Our job isn’t to provide ministry to youth. It’s to produce youth in ministry. We aren’t called to prepare services for saints but to prepare saints for service. They need to know we care enough about their ministry to set them up for greater success. They need to feel like you did when you walked in here for the first time.

Here’s the simple truth. If youth don’t learn to lead in the church, they leave it. And I’m not suggesting we train the next generation of Sunday school teachers, greeters, or bulletin folders. We must equip young people to recognize and respond to God’s call on their life and teach them to live out the Gospel and care for all human suffering, especially eternal. We need to help them be the church – not just do church.

Jesus left no doubt how we should do our jobs. 40 days after His youth group completely blew the first real play they had the chance to run, He didn’t huddle them up and start round two. There's no Discipleship 201 mentioned. No, Jesus ascended. That’s about as getting out of the way as you can get.

In so many words he says, "You know everything you need. And what you don't know, I'll make sure you learn. The Helper will teach you, instruct you, empower you. And yes, I'll be with you the first time – and every time – forever."

The process is simple: recruit, train, and get out of the way. Give up ownership. Help youth do their ministry. Value the discipleship process more than the product or program. Trust God’s strength to work through their weakness.  After all, when Jesus’ disciples were half scared and half prepared, He turned them loose but look at the results. He accomplishes more in our inexperience than we ever will in our expertise.

"And don’t get too bent out of shape and worry about their first times in ministry. It will turn out just fine. If the gates of hell cannot prevail against the church, the church will survive your youth group."

* I realize the metaphor is difficult for those who may not have been able to conceive their own children but experienced the joy and gift of adoption. Please remember the principle is meant to teach us more about giving youth a chance. I apologize for any unintentional emotional frustration caused by the example.

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Fox News ran a report yesterday about a book titled, Pedophile Guide, that was released on Amazon.com for a short period of time (until someone pulled their head out of their butt and pulled it offline).

When we see extreme examples of sick individuals who prey on youth, we pause to raise a ruckus (at least for a moment). A few people stand-up or speak-up to draw attention to issues that should outrage us all. But I suggest that it happens everyday and we have grown so accustomed to it that we don't even recognize the problem anymore.

Perversion takes many forms.

I'm sure when you hear the word pervert or perverted you mind instantly drifts toward a sexual deviant, but there's more to the definition of perversion. Take a look at the fifth description of the word.

per·ver·sion
- noun

1. the act of perverting
2. the state of being perverted
3. a perverted form of something
4. any of various means of obtaining sexual gratification that are generally regarded as being abnormal
5. Pathology - a change to what is unnatural or abnormal: a perversion of function or structure.

Society preys on youth constantly. We build industries around them. Cater to the spending habits. Use them to accomplish our agendas. Fill our bank accounts. Taking advantage of adolescent naivete is unnatural and abnormal. Instead of nurturing the innocence of young people, the world exploits them for our own benefit.

I wonder if that problem has even become pervasive in the church.

Even with good intentions of discipling young people, building their faith, and nurturing their spiritual growth, have we perhaps used youth to accomplish our own goals and build our ministries? A couple of years ago, I heard Zach Hunter address youth leaders at a national youth ministry convention. He was bold. In his short address, he simply said, "My generation is looking for two things. First, we want to know God. Second, we want to serve others." But his next statement struck a chord. "Please don't make our desires your next youth ministry gimmick."

While we look to build ministries that attract young people, we need to make sure we aren't also inadvertently preying on them as well. I was reading a discussion this morning that was debating whether or not youth-led ministry was primarily attractional or missional. As I considered the posts, I was unsettled. Because the answer is neither. Youth ministry must be relational. When it is - it's attractive. And in relationship, young people discover their mission not adopt ours.

The generation we serve isn't so shallow to be duped much longer. Attractive programs or grandios missions won't work. They already know the world pimps them out for their own pleasure. The last place they expect to be prostituted is the church, but perhaps we have failed them in that regard. We believe they actually want flash, fun, and fantasy. But they don't.

Young people are looking for authentic. Not artificial. And that is only found in natural, normal relationships. To reach this generation for Jesus Christ requires making their need for nurture our agenda. No more shortcuts. No entertainment or enticement.

The youth we serve are created for significance and service. They are called for mission and ministry. If we want to see them give their lives Christ and his cause, we simply need to include them in the mission - not treat them like they are the mission.

That's the beauty of Jesus' example. Let's follow it.

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Tonight at The Lausanne Congress for World Evangelism in Cape Town, South Africa, four-thousand seasoned believers in Jesus were brought to their feet and to tears by an 18-year-old Korean girl.

Like everyone in attendance, I couldn't wait to stand and applaud, as she began to share her story and the love she has for Christ. And I was prepared to clap as long as my hands could make noise. Never have I heard such a testimony.

She told an abbreviated version of her hard life. Her mother died at a young age. Family was persecuted in North Korea because of her father's faith. They moved to China where he was imprisoned but when he was released after serving a three-year sentence, he chose to return to North Korea to share the gospel with his people. People who do not have the freedom to choose their own religion. This was just the beginning of her tale. And all by the time she was only 9-years-old.

With eloquence and composure far beyond her years, she continued to share how her father was once again imprisoned in North Korea when she we was just 14-years-old, but that was in 2006. She has never seen or heard from him since. There is little doubt in her mind that he was shot and killed in a public setting to set an example for Jesus' followers in that nation.

As a high school student, she is planning to attend university in South Korea where she now lives by God's grace and the goodness of a few saints who gave her a home. Her course of study at college will be Political Science and Diplomacy. All with great hope and plans of returning to North Korea to fight for the rights of her persecuted people and to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ, as she honors her father's life and her Heavenly Father's call on her young life.

Of all the messages at Cape Town 2010, no voice has touched more lives than one teenage young lady.

Especially mine.

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The hardest change to make is often the smallest.

Large sweeping shifts in programs, plans, and paradigms tend to proceed little, simple adjustments in many ministries. We usually overhaul in hope of revitalization when the only real change is needed is our mindset. Not our model.

More and more we are reading and hearing the words discipleship and leadership in youth ministry conversations. Glad to know we're all on the same page and listening to God's leading. But I wonder if we're still in need of a minor adjustment. A hard one. Perhaps even huge for some.

I may be alone in this admission, but I lean toward control (feels good to confess it out loud). And as much as I talk about empowerment and equipping youth, I still struggle to give ministry away. It requires conscious effort on my part. In 20 years of working with kids, my greatest moments of 'success' came when I was most hands-off. Not just delegating leadership. Assigning tasks. Or giving responsibility. Growth was most evident in young people when Tim got out of the way, and they had real ownership.

Leadership and ownership. Is there a difference?

Ownership begins with conception. Who's ministry child is it anyway? Was the meeting, event, activity conceived by you or by youth? That's the question I most ask when encouraging youth pastors who call frustrated. Despite their great ideas and efforts, youth don't seem to get overly excited about the program. No real progress seems to be evident. My advise always begins with a question, "Whose idea was it?"

In the heart of every kid I have ever met is an idea, passion, or cause just waiting to be released. They care. And they would be glad to share, if we took more time to listen. It may take them awhile to articulate what breaks their heart because they have probably never been asked. But if you're patient and persistent, they'll eventually learn to trust you enough to open up and let it out. But we're so good at knowing what to do. We're experts. Paid to create program.

Wrong.

Ok, I'll say it...youth pastors are sperm. Our role is to seed or fertilize what God has placed on young, pure hearts. After all, they are his children. Created in his image. We can't be both parts of the creation equation in youth work. It's not natural. Unless young people are 50% of the process, we're basically asking them to adopt our baby. When honestly, they want to help create it themselves. And unless they do, our ministry may not actually be legitimate.

(I'm going to get mail on that illustration.)

Giving leadership and teaching youth to serve is a huge step in the right direction. Making them owners, seeing them as peers, viewing them as co-equals. That's that small adjustment we need to make next. Small yet huge. But when we do, they'll be quicker to stay, experience growth, and find their place in the cause of Christ and in his church for a lifetime.

Offering ownership opens doors to our real ministry role. Mentors who nurture. But getting there will require giving something up.

Control.

Make it their ministry and see yours bear more fruitful (no pun intended).

* * *

For a simple biblical illustration, read the account of feeding the 5000 in Matthew 14. Pay attention to whose idea it really was to care for the crowd. Notice how Jesus blessed their ingenuity. Fertilized their passion for hungry people. But they did the feeding. It's a great benchmark we can follow.

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WARNING: This post could get you fired, but Wendy's pays more anyway.
 

I am amazed how often we forget what God can actually do and how his strange ways are contrary to our human logic. He doesn't work like us. Thankfully.

This morning, I spent time reading the Luke's account of the proclamation of Jesus' arrival on earth. Astonishing as always.

When the world was in desperate need, God came. Through virgin birth nonetheless. Not the way I would have planned it. Sure didn't learn that approach in college. He even went through the hassle of creating a herald to come before his son through another miracle birth. John was not humanly possible from what I read. God had to intervene just to make an announcement. He prepared it all. He always does. We don't stand in his way. Our failed plans don't trip him up.

We're never too young or too old for him to use us.

We live in a desperate world again today. That's an understatement. I suggest we keep our eyes and minds open to the astonishing ways of God. What strange and peculiar means will he use in this generation to reveal himself to us today? Who will he use to herald the coming of his son this time?

The expected. The educated. The experienced. A common sense choice with a PhD in youth ministry. I highly doubt it.

Time to make more room in our ministry for his work. No one would expect God to use you, but he does. They certainly wouldn't expect him to work through me (I even doubt it). Imagine how he would use youth if we gave them more space, more permission, and more opportunity to take risks. God works through the impossible, which makes me think of middle schoolers to be honest.

If the gates of hell cannot prevail against the church, will the junior high students do any real damage either? Ever consider that one?

God's ways are strange indeed.

ASSIGNMENT:

Make a list of everything you do in ministry on one piece of paper (old fashioned but effective still). Next to each item, write the name of a student who could learn to do that task, if you would just take the time to teach them.

Over the next 30 days, give as much of your job away as possible. Seriously. What you will be left with are essentials only and a lot of new, growing relationships. That's where discipleship will begin to effectively take place, and you'll actually see God working through your ministry more powerfully than you even imagined. 

BTW: You can cross off being the numero uno teacher, too. Stand by to help out, but don't forget about the holy spirit. He still is the real teacher.

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My mind has been pondering the power of God's Word, since I mentioned in a tweet last night @timothyeldred how I basically think the Bible has taken a backseat and curriculum has taken precedence over our time in the Word of God in student discipleship.

After some quiet time in God's Word this morning, I had a great time of worship recording this song that includes my sentiments.

Word_of_God_Speak.mp4 Listen on Posterous

Imagine trusting the Holy Spirit enough to teach us when we take the time to put Scripture in our heart pocket and let God reveal His truth to us in His time. Perhaps we feel as though we must explain and hurry the discipleship process along, as we determine to be the ones who instruct youth. Maybe we don't actually understand the discipleship process as long-term relationship, which programs can never replicate or replace. They might actually hinder the process.

Can God's Word permeate the hearts of young people and actually make sense without a hurried up explanation from an adult leader? Of course, being able to accurately divide Biblical truth is important; however, it starts with taking time to just sit down and read it. We have seen new insights revealed time after time, as young people are trusted to read, remember, and retell God's Story using a simple process adapted from our friends at The God's Story Project.

I'm starting a simple campaign called God's Word Only Challenge encouraging pastors and youth leaders to let the Bible stand alone for 90 days, and I'm including a one-page tool to help you do it. Of course, we could keep preaching at kids and ignoring the fact that lecture is the least effective form of communication. Information doesn't produce transformation no matter how loud or eloquent we say it, but that's just Eldred on his soapbox again. Go figure.

If you're interested in taking me up on the challenge, leave me a comment below or shoot me an email (tim@timothyeldred.com). Let's see if God shows up!
 

The following document is the teaching method being introduced to youth worldwide through Christian Endeavor by members of the Endeavor Movement.
 

Training_Workshop_5.pdf Download this file

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I love the accurate picture Eugene Peterson paints for us of the real roles of Jesus and his young disciples.

"When Jesus saw his ministry drawing huge crowds, he climbed a hillside. Those who were apprenticed to him, the committed, climbed with him. Arriving at a quiet place, he sat down and taught his climbing companions." (emphasis mine)

- Matthew 5:1-2 (MSG)

This is my twentieth year of working with young people. Notice I didn't say of doing youth ministry (I quit that job a long time ago). When God convicted me that teens are coequals and peers in his plan I began to view them much differently, which in turn changed my perspective of my role and how I relate to youth.

This text gives a lot of insight we can learn from, so lets' break it down.

"When Jesus saw his ministry drawing huge crowds..."

Like many of us, Jesus had a ministry and a following of young people who listened to what he had to say. They even gave up their own lives, activities, after school events, etc. to be part of what was happening. We learn from his example that there is a clear time to begin the process of giving ownership of ministry away. I didn't learn that lesson soon enough. When I saw my ministry (notice the problem) growing years ago, I started planning for and praying about how to make it bigger without realizing that God would expand it even more for his glory if I gave it up. It's easy to hold on. Hard to let go. The fascinating point is that Jesus was actually preparing to give his ministry to his young padawans from the very beginning.

Those who were apprenticed to him..."

I just hung up the phone with my friend, Steve, in Cincinnati. We discussed the idea of youth ministry as apprenticeship in the terms of youth pastors seeing themselves sort of like Master Electricians with teenage apprentices. On the first week of the job, they carry supplies. Eventually, the have their own tool belt. In time, we even give them tools. Before long, they're not just pulling wire but installing plugs, making connections, and even flipping switches to see the results of their work. We teach them to do everything we have learned, so they can actually do the job without our help someday. In the early stage they might get shocked a time or two, but the goal is for them to become full blown electricians who don't need us but go on to exceed us.

"...the committed, climbed with him."

I read a blog yesterday on Q about a young pastor named David Platt who is challenging the church and raising expectations for what it means to follow Jesus. His point of view might be hard for seasoned saints to swallow because it takes us out of our comfort zone of Western Christianity; however, it is not a stretched for the generation of emerging young leaders we serve. They're ready for sacrifice and service. Ironically, Jesus' call to his motley crew of protégés came at a great price, too. He required serious commitment, but he didn't set them up or send them out to fail alone.

We don't need to be afraid of raising expectations for young people, as long as we're prepared to walk alongside as they accept the challenge to do hard things. Jesus did ministry with his team, and we see him establish the protocol early in this passage. His ministry wasn't to them of for them. He called them to a higher standard and shared in their learning experience.

"...he sat down and taught his climbing companions."

Discipleship is the sole objective of the church, and Jesus told his students (which includes us) to go make disciples exactly like he demonstrated. Did he teach? Sure. He might have even occasionally preached, but in the end, he lived the Word with his apprentices and they absorbed the message; it became relevant and real as they put it into action together. Eventually, Jesus turned them loose, but he didn't spend 3.5 years lecturing first and planning programs for them. The were his companions, eventually he called them friends. The younger learning from the master even while he let them do with the work and even make some mistakes.

How far have we gotten from the simple, authentic approach of the Source of our faith and his example?

As I learn to define myself as a mentor more than a pastor, I discover people's potential much faster. It is easier for me to give jobs away that I don't need to be doing personally. Amazingly, people also discover who they are in Christ and see their potential quicker as well when I get out of the way. That's the real point of Ephesians 4:12-13?

I have remember that Jesus showed his apprentices how to identify the needs of others, how to recognize their own talents and skills, and how to connect the two while drawing on his power. We are here today because Christ got out of their way gave us the same power and promise of being with us to the very end.

Maybe someday I'll figure it all out, get it right, and learn to do less. For now, I'm just trying to forget how to do youth ministry.

Recommended Reading:

• Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream (David Platt)
• The Be-With Factor: Mentoring Students in Everyday Life (Bo Boshers)
• Pray21: Teens and Adults Praying Together for God's Call (Timothy Eldred)
• Do Hard Things: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations (Alex and Bret Harris)

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I read a great blog today, Front-Loading Ministry in the Discipleship Process.

Brilliant words by Adam McLane.

Don't you love the way the church is beginning to emulate the simple model of Jesus' ministry more intentionally? He was the original "front-loader" who recruited hopeful, yet unbelieving, young men and simply asked them to follow him. As they watched and witnessed his ways, they eventually came to believe.

Their faith was the result of following not the prerequisite.

About 30-minutes ago, I was given a note with the name and number of a high school boy looking for a job in the café we're opening on the street level of our offices. As far as I know, the young man does not believe in Jesus Christ as Lord, yet. However, neither do the two other young men I have asked to run the café. All I know is that these guys like the idea of operating an espresso machine, and they're willing to hang out with our staff. That's good enough for me. We'll start there and see how God leads in their lives through the relationships we create.

As we follow Jesus, we pray they follow our lead.

I know it seems a little unconventional to take guitar players out of bars and include them on worship teams or kids off the street to lead ministry projects, but it seems to work. After all, I think that's the story of Jesus and his disciples basically. Why not take a page out of the original playbook?

Jesus' last words were basically, "Go do it just like I showed you." The Great Commission is a process that includes giving people a chance to follow even before they believe. It means allowing them to belong as they are, become what God intended, and believe as he transforms their lives.

From now on, I think I'll just call it front-loading. Thanks, Adam.

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THE QUESTIONS:

• What would happen if more youth workers preferred to be completely behind the scenes or backstage?
• What would change if more adults played second fiddle and preferred no credit for doing right by kids?
• Do we put ourselves front and center way too much, and if so, where does that put our young people?
  

THE BACKSTORY:

For the eight years, I have served on the Board of Education for our local school district. Last month, I was honored to be reelected for a third term (I might be a little nuts actually). Seriously, I love the role and responsibility. It’s just another way to be involved with setting young people up for success in a different venue (outside the walls of the church).

During my time in this community and even more so as a member of the board, I have been able to work with some incredible people who dedicate their lives to educating kids. Recently, my role as board President has given me a greater chance to interact with Superintendent, Ron Farrell. I have always respected Ron’s dedication to young people; he has been in education for 45 years. For 39 of those, he has served Montabella Community Schools.

Last week, he told the Board of Education, “If Montabella can give me 39 years, I can give 1 back; I want to work my 40th year for free.” Speechless. What a gift. What a sacrifice. Especially when you know the whole financial story of our district – one of the lowest paid systems in the poorest county in Michigan. Yes, with one of lowest paid Superintendents.

At our meeting last night, I made Ron’s proposal public, and the reporter on-hand took it to the bank. It is a story worth retelling – good news in a world gone bad most of the time. You can read the article here.

I called Mr. Farrell this morning to say thanks again, and to acknowledge his sincere humility. Without any doubt, I knew he was embarrassed that his generosity made headlines; he just wanted to do what he thought was right. No credit. No applause.

THE ANSWER:

God give us more youth workers with the heart of Ron Farrell; too humble to take credit and quick to get off stage.

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The general definition of the word delta is the gap between two distinct boundaries; it's a disconnect of sorts. Well, there is a definite delta in philosophy when talking about youth ministry. It's not minor; it's huge! I think the best way to illustrate it is for us to look at some blog titles I found online:

• How to Create Awareness about Your Ministry
• How to Get Youth Leaders to Show Up at Meetings
• How to Get Youth to Come to Youth Group
• How to Teach and Keep Young People's Attention
• How to Name Your Youth Ministry
• How to Raise Money for Youth Ministry

The list could go on and on and the same overall mindset would prevail...your ministry. Let me just cut to the chase and say it, "It's not your ministry!"  

That's the problem.

Every time I talk to youth pastors, I find the biggest obstacle to their success is ownership — they have way too much of it. We have really come to believe that our job is  running an effective youth program that draws kids to Christ. Close but no cigar.

We spend more time talking about keeping our ministry, growing our ministry, or building our ministry that we do giving away ministry. I have yet to see a blog or seminar called, "How to Work Yourself Out of a Job." If we finally begin to understand that our ministry is to help young people do theirs, then we will be close to understanding the role God has called us to do today. Coaching.

This generation is tired of sitting on the sidelines. Now, that doesn't mean you need to find a better way to plug them into your ministry. It means you need to help them find their own ministry. Seriously. They have something extraordinary to give the world. Now. "Equipping the saints for the work of service," clearly indicates that young people who have given their life to Christ are:

1. saints, and
2. ready for action.

For Pete's sake (whoever Pete actually is), it's time for most youth pastors to go to McDonald's or Wendy's and get a real job that pays better and has health benefits. When did we become such "ball hogs" afraid to stand on the sidelines and let young people actually run something themselves? What would happen if we stopped creating ministry for youth and recognized them as our real ministry?

What would happen if we stopped long enough to listen to their hearts and then helped them accomplish their God-given passions, dreams, and desires? Here's what would happen: We would be so busy setting teens up for success using their gifts, talents, and abilities that we wouldn't have time to plan another useless meeting (yes, I said it).

Get out of your office! Get in their world. When they begin to open up and share their lives with you, get behind their crazy-outrageous-impossible-can't-be-done-ideas and help make them a reality. That's the real mark of discipleship, but it can't happen as long as you think it's your youth ministry.

If the gates of hell cannot prevail against the church, the junior high kids aren't going to do any great damage. Get out of their way!

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When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. (1 Corinthians 13:11, MSG)

I will always be thankful for Rob Smith. He was an elder in a church a served almost 20 years ago now. Quite often on Friday mornings, Rob would call and ask if he could come by my office and talk. This usually occurred about once a month (the morning after church board meetings). When a church elder calls and sets up and appointment with you there could be reason for alarm; however, I quickly learned that Rob's motives were in my best interest.

Before long I learned to await our morning meetings with anxious anticipation. His words were not always kind, but they were loving. His honest criticism taught me invaluable lessons that I carry to this very day. We could all use leadership like that. Let's really think about it. Diplomatic and Tactful – How often do you think those two words are used to describe youth leaders? There was period in my ministry when I would have never asked that question because I honestly didn't care. After all, a youth leader's job is to equip and empower youth to serve Jesus Christ, and we must do any and everything possible to accomplish that purpose, right? Yes, but any and everything without diplomacy and tact only causes us to get burned-out, worn out, or thrown out. There are two ideas I want us to look at today about professional perceptions:

• First, how do local professionals in your community view us?
• Second (and just as important), how do we look at them?

Many youth leaders (paid and volunteer) give little thought to the profession people in their community until they need something from them (i.e. - money, supplies, money, time, and money). This is very unfortunate. It is important to remember that youth ministry is an extension of the church, and the local church is part of the community. The students we work with are either neighbors, customers, or future employees of local businesses and their owners. Ask this question with that in mind: Does the youth ministry have a major impact on professionals? You bet it does. The lessons we teach as we help young people grow to be serious leaders in this world have everything to do with local business and economy. Youth ministry is an asset to the men and women who run these institutions (or at least it should be). It's time for us to start recognizing their value and the value we can be to them. Until that happens, don't expect them to esteem the ministries we lead either. Another aspect of today's questions deal with how professionals literally look at youth leaders. Image is important! There are many young youth leaders who do not give this a second thought because they only care about how their students view them. Unfortunately, some have grown into older youth leaders who haven't learned to appreciate the value of public persona. Whether we are vocational or volunteer youth leaders, I challenge us to be professional. The community we minister within is full of skeptics and cynics who see us as overgrown teens who have not grown up, yet. Honestly, many have not. The relationships youth leaders have on local business professionals should not be taken lightly. In most cases, these people were there before us, and they will be there after we resign, retire, or run off. What are we doing to raise the level professionalism in our ministries? Let me give you three practical points to help you in this area:

1. PRAY: Create a prayer team in your ministry who intentionally prays for local businesses and their owners. Do not hesitate to let them know of your desire to see them succeed. Actually, let them know of your prayer team. Take the time to make a prayer guide and ask these individuals how you can pray for their business.
2. PLAY: Is there a local Lion's Club, Rotary, or Chamber of Commerce in your community? These civic organizations are made up of local professionals who tackle community issues all the time. Join them in their work. Serve on their committees. You will end up playing together and building important relationships.
3. PLAN: Many youth ministries are viewed as teens who take more than groups that give. Your local businesses have projects that you could possibly assist with. Perhaps there buildings that need painted, lawns that need mowed, or sidewalks that need swept. Your ministry should plan to help with those needs free of charge.

Rob Smith taught me to pay attention to my image. In order to accomplish this I had to watch my life: my ways, my words, and my wardrobe. My unwillingness to consider people's perception of my personal behavior would have been much like holding on to the childish things Paul talks of in today's text. While teens are our target audience, there are countless individuals in the community who can impact their lives. Those people listen to other's perceptions of us and the youth ministries we serve. It is time to start paying attention to what they are saying. Our commitment to professionals and professionalism will have an long-term effect on the work we do in God's Kingdom. Pray about that today and remember that youth ministry is all about relationships.

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And whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted. (Matthew 23:12) 

Last night, I was schooled by a teen who showed great, great humility. To top it off, his peers responded with immense grace. It was a beautiful display of Christian leadership.

The Back Story: A few weeks ago, the Vice-President of our church’s Endeavor got into some trouble (to put it mildly). Now, he’s a great 17-year-old kid with a lot of potential. Over the last few years, I’ve been excited to see him discover more about who he is and what God can do through him. Nonetheless, he’s still learning. This time the lesson was costly; he was expelled from school. As a result of his actions, his peers were hurt and deeply disappointed. Although his behavior was out of character, it would still earn him consequences, even in the context of his Christian community.

At Endeavor, we function with one crucial principle:

“Never do anything for young people that they can learn to do themselves.”

Translation – these teens would have to police their own and determine what consequences were appropriate.

Now, I got to play the role that all adult leaders should learn to play – I got to be the COACH. I sat down with the President and Vice-President in a private meeting last night and laid out the situation for them. We talked about the options, alternatives, and potential problems in light of each scenario. I asked a lot of questions, but I didn’t give any answers. And, I didn’t make the decision. That’s not my job. No. I sent them and the rest of the leadership team into the conference room to grapple with the situation and find their own solution. Without any coercing, the Vice-President asked for forgiveness and resigned from his position. He humbly requested greater accountability from his peers and a way to regain their trust. The leadership team responded with amazing skill and incredible grace. Clearly, they had been listening to past lessons; they had been learning from past situations. They had the skills to navigate through a delicate and potentially painful situation without an adult in the driver’s seat. Together, THEY reached resolution.

After some prayer, tears, and hugs, they emerged. Stronger. More experienced. Empowered. And even more in love with each other than before. In the end, they grew because we got out of their way and trusted in their abilities. That’s what happens when adults learn their place and let youth learn by doing.

Humility is the greatest virtue a leader can possess. I must admit, it’s not at the top of my list of strengths. But, I’m working on it. I’m still learning…from teens.

There’s probably a lesson in this for many of us.

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I want to share a great question I received from a youth pastor.

Dear Tim, I've been reading and learning more about discipleship; however, it seems too many churches don't really promote it or even have that much of a grasp on it. Do you have any tips for ways to go about it?

Let me share an equation I use when quantifying the results of youth ministry (or any ministry)...  

...You measure what you value; you produce what you measure.

When I have the opportunity to consult with a church or provide coaching to a congregation, my first inquiry is always, "Please show me your youth in ministry." I don't ask about the building, budget, or broken down bus. What I really want to see is equipped young people actively engaged in doing the work of the ministry—their ministry. (If I don't see youth in ministry, I already know the results.)

There is only one objective for youth ministry—for the whole church in fact—discipleship. That same goal also defines the purpose of ministry clearly and concisely. It is the last word Jesus spoke when he commissioned his faithful few. It was his number one priority and our number one failure. Ironic. How do you measure discipleship? In order to assess the effectiveness of youth ministry for your church, there are two factors that require consideration: relationship and ownership. Those two words comprise the key elements needed to accomplish the primary objective Jesus gave before he ascended. If you want to know what you value, just stop and consider what you measure. Most youth leaders calculate and count the wrong indicators. Numbers. (FYI: They are only following the directive or example of those to whom they report.) Please know that digits cannot indicate effective discipleship. They are a means of measurement, but what do they really determine in light of Jesus' Great Commission? I replied to Dan with a tongue-in-cheek answer that contains more than a hint of truth.

Deadbolt the youth room.

Sound drastic or just sarcastic? Listen closer: "If I came to your church and forbid you from planning, preparing, or programming another meeting for six months, what would your ministry look like?" Simply put, "What would happen if we would deadbolt the youth room door?" Many youth leaders would be completely lost because meeting and ministry have become synonymous when in fact, one is usually the greatest obstacle of accomplishing the other. Here's the truth:

Students' lives are changed through relationships, and relationships that change lives take time.

If the majority of our time is spent getting ready for meetings, how much time do we actually devote to discipleship? The answer to that question tells a lot about what we have come to value. I encourage you to reconsider your role as disciple-maker. Start leaving the meetings to youth. Yeah, that's right. Give them ownership of their ministry. They won't ruin what you've built. Jesus gave his disciples ownership. Look at what they did. (BTW: They were about the same age as your young people.) Now, take that new free time you have from no longer worrying about what Wednesday nights look like, and intentionally share your life in Christ with students. Focus your time on relationship. Go ahead. Try it. You will find you have never been more effective in accomplishing the only objective Jesus gave when he called you to youth ministry. If you still need to measure numbers, look at how many more students have a real role in planning their own program. Then take a look at how many more minutes you have invested into young lives.  

Put that information in your next board report!

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He sat down and summoned the Twelve. "So you want first place? Then take the last place. Be the servant of all."  —Mark 9:35 (Msg)

Sharing is not something most people do naturally. The natural impulse of our flesh is to take. Giving is God's nature. He is Supernatural, and we are striving to be like Him. "For God so loved...He gave" (John 3:16).

My parents were a great example of sharing (still are). They were always giving away what they had to others (still do). And my brothers and I caught the lesson. I still joke that if my brother Brad walked into a room full of people with a candy bar, he'd break it into as many pieces as necessary for everyone to have a little (except him). We learned how to share because of how my parents viewed others.

I guess it all comes down to how we look at people.

Do we think more of them, or are we more concerned about what they think of us? Considering our human nature, the second choice is usually the case, but this cannot be if we are leading young people to know Jesus Christ as Lord and find their place in his cause.

Youth leaders get a lot of attention from kids, and attention feels good. If we're not careful, ministry can become more about how others make us feel. That's a dangerous trap in which many youth leaders have fallen. In order to stay clear of that pitfall, we need to work hard to see others through Jesus eyes.

There's a man in youth ministry who is known all over the world. He's a great author, speaker, and servant. Whenever I visit with him, I walk away knowing that I am somebody—a child of the King—significant. Obviously, I like to visit with him, but it makes we wonder how others feel when they leave a conversation with me.

How do we make kids feel? What do they think about themselves? What do they think about us? The answer to those questions will tell us a great deal about the effectiveness of our ministry. Remember that relationships change lives and relationships take work!

Let's work hard at how we look at youth!

See beyond the surface.

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I know how to waste time. I’m sure a lot of people could give me a run for my money, but when it comes to wasting time I can hold my own. As a matter of fact, I might be considered an expert. Believe it or not, I want you to be an expert, too!

In a ministry blog post, my friend, Milton, from Australia, hit the nail square on the head with these words to youth leaders,

Develop the habit of wasting time with youth.

That comment is the context for my opening paragraph. In order to effectively impact young lives, we must learn to waste time with teens.

Just think about the amount of time we really do waste (Can we all say television commercials?). Some people loose many days a year watching advertisements on TV. Of course, there are other time-wasters we could name, but it would be a waste of my time to sit here create a list of them for you. The point is simple: Relationships change lives.

How many hours have slipped away from us (this week alone) that could have been wasted (invested) in someone’s life? There are things we do for the sake of ministry we think are important that really are an unfortunate waste of time. They just keep us busy instead of actively engaged. Busy typically takes place behind a desk. It includes too much time alone. Often, busy means planning, preparing, and polishing weekly programs. Why? Are they that effective?

The simplicity of the Gospel and the example of Jesus Christ has been all but lost for the sake of productivity and professionalism. I dare you (triple-dog-dare-you) to stop being efficient for once. Instead, take a chance and begin intentionally wasting time with the people God has placed in your path. That’s where real life- change occurs.

Start today.

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Do you ever wake up some mornings and feel like you can't do this 'youth ministry thing' forever. That's normal; it's actually okay to say out loud (might even be therapeutic).

Here's a bit of news that could provide some relief if you're going through an overwhelming season of ministry. Ready? You don't have to do it forever…and…God doesn't need you to either.

Jac Perrin was the chairman of the youth ministry department at North Central Bible College (University) when I studied there almost 20 years ago. I remember him saying our greatest achievement in ministry would be to see students grow beyond our level of faith and accomplish more for the Kingdom of God than we would. I have never forgotten that challenge. Many years and many young people later, I have to wonder how effective I have been with that being the measuring stick of my ministry.

Youth ministry can continue forever without you...but...only by building significant relationships and giving ownership. The program you had last night will be forgotten; guaranteed. Eternal impressions are not left through great plans and preparations; they are etched in the young lives of those who learn about Jesus Christ through your life.

Here's a great quote by Douglas M. Lawson, "We exist temporarily through what we take, but we live forever through what we give." Don't worry about the limited impact of your meetings; wonder about the lifetime influence of your ministry. There will days you want to quit, and someday you might. When that time comes, who will carry the ministry along?

That's the million dollar question today, and I encourage you to let it change your agenda. Jesus said, "What we keep, we lose, and what we lose, we keep. There are some things in our ministries that we need to hold on to, and there are many things that we can afford to forget.

Until we give ministry to youth, we do not have real youth ministry.

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