Tim's Blog - aka Tim's Memoir

I'm done with that establishment.

noreply@blogger.com (Tim) — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 05:06:00 +0000

This evening I was at an establishment where food and liquor were served. I was enjoying the company of a few people that I know that hang out there, and enjoying the ambiance of the establishment.

That was, until later in the evening.

As I'm sitting there minding my own business, this individual comes up and sits on the other side of my "bar-buddy". He proceeds to carry on a conversation with him and then asks him "so what's your friend's name?", referring to me. We were introduced and I could immediately tell that this individual was beyond drunk. He asked me name...twice....keeping in mind that I told him my name about 5 minutes prior. He continued to get in my face just saying all types of off the wall stuff, like "you are sooooooo cute" and "you better be lucky you have nice lips", which pretty much made me feel really creeped out.

Oh, did I mention, the owner of the establishment was standing about 2 feet away watching the whole thing, and thought it was funny. Then the owner suggests that I move to the other side of the young lady sitting next to me. Uh, I was there first, why not ask the other guy to either go back to his original seat, or ask him to leave?

It got so bad, I called out to him and asked him to pretty much help me out here because I was starting to feel really uncomfortable. (I mean if the guy called me a bitch one more time, I would have punched him out.) The guy then says "well why didn't you tell ME that you were feeling uncomfortable?" The owner at this point says and does nothing. So I made it easy for all of them.

I LEFT. I closed out my ticket, paid it in full, grabbed my coat and said good night. I hate to say it, but I don't think I will be patronizing that establishment ever again. If an owner, which is standing two feet away, does nothing about an individual that was obviously overserved, I don't need to be there.

And....another one bites the dust.

End Transmission.

Gay Boys (not men) Are Full Of Sh!t

noreply@blogger.com (Tim) — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 23:39:00 +0000

I get to get on my soapbox again.

In the gay community, there are two types of males: Gay MEN and Gay BOYS. Gay Men are just that: MEN. They (for the most part) are real, blunt and don't believe in playing games or throwing a hissy fit when they see something they can't have.

But Gay Boys? These are the ones that love to play games, fuck with people's minds, rob, steal (they call it "borrowing") and throw a temper tantrum when they see something or someone they can't have.

I recently had an experience with a gay boy that I met at the Black gay Men's caucus. We talked and agreed to maintain contact with each other, hang out on occasion, grab a coffee, stuff like that. Everything seemed ok until I disclosed some information. And this time it wasn't what you think. This time, it was because I told this person that I was involved.

This is a 20+ year old man acting like a little child, saying all types of off the wall bullshit such as "my comments are bullshit" when I asked this person to stop the constant mention of my relationship each and every time we talked. (They then went back and changed their statement to "my comments are arrogant".) If we're going to hang out and have coffee and get to know each other in a friendship manner, why do you constantly mention that "you're in a relationship", which I'm well-aware of. Been well-aware of that for nearly 3 years now. I mean come on, you can only be my friend, accept it, get over it and move on. If you can't do that then maybe we shouldn't communicate.

Now a gay MAN, at least in my experience, would say something along the lines of "I'm happy for you, we can still hang out, have coffee or whatever, but that's the extent of it", mention it ONE TIME and not go back down that path. Why? Because it has already been said, agreed upon by both parties, and now we're going to move on. Why beat a dead horse or sound like a broken record?

Because that is what gay boys do. They are miserable, evil, jaded, bitter, and love to keep up drama. These are the ones that I cannot stand. And as a final note, the individual that I spoke of was yanked from my Facebook page, and blocked.

End of the line. This passenger must leave the train.

End Transmission.

When A Bartender Wants More Money....

noreply@blogger.com (Tim) — Tue, 18 Jan 2011 17:47:00 +0000

Last night I was at a bar near my home with a buddy of mine. (I won't reveal the name of it just yet.) We spent the evening drinking and eating and ran up a pretty nice tab. The evening comes to an end and I ask the bartender - whom I've known for a while - to "settle up", meaning close out the tab. So the bartender gets the total and brings it to me, all while I'm still talking to my buddy. I give the bartender my credit card, which he processes and brings me the slip to sign.

Here's where it gets ugly.

I sign the slip and instead of leaving a tip on my credit card, I give him all the cash I had on me, which was $10. The bartender gives me back the credit card slip and says "You know you can give me more."

HOLD ON A SECOND!!!

Yes, you heard me correct, the bartender wanted more money for his tip. After I told him that this was all I had and all he was going to get, his attitude somewhat changed. As if $10 (for a $70 tab) isn't enough. Let's do the math....10 percent of $70 is $7.00, therefore I've given him an approximate 15 percent tip!

Believe me, I was extremely offended by that, and it brought back memories of what happened in DC, a little over a year ago. (Click the link to read THAT story.) This is not the first time that this particular bartender has asked patrons for bigger tips and given a shitty attitude when he doesn't get his way, but it's the first time he's done it with me.

Now, I have a few options. I can:
- Stop going to this establishment.
- Put a review on Yelp.com regarding this situation
- Call the owner/manager and advise him of the situation
- A combination of the above or all of the above

The monkey wrench in all of this is the fact that I've known this particular bartender for a while and don't really want to rock the boat, but at the same time I don't like to be treated in such a manner. So what do I do?

End Transmission.

The One Type Of Person I Can't Stand

noreply@blogger.com (Tim) — Sun, 16 Jan 2011 18:31:00 +0000

In my lifetime I've encountered many different types of people. I've encountered Alpha males, passive-aggressive males, contorl freaks, you name it. But there is one type of person that I truly cannot stand:

A LIAR.

I'm not talking about a white-lie type of person (i.e. that person is of a large size but in an attempt not to hurt their feelings they're told they are "thick"). No, I'm talking about a professional liar that lies about stupid stuff they don't have to lie about. Inconsequental stuff. Such as saying you're going to be somewhere and then tell a lie just because you suddenly don't want to go there. Or using the same example, getting other people involved in your lie and then getting caught up in said lie when that person can't confirm what you've said.

Unfortunately these types of people exist and aren't going anywhere. Except out of my life. Look, I'm 33 years old and don't have time for stupid liars like this in my life. Just keep it real with me and I'll keep it real with you. I guess these types of people are too childish to do that.

I don't play games with other people's children.

End Transmission.

Happy New Year - 11 Days Late

noreply@blogger.com (Tim) — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 15:13:00 +0000

Happy New Year!! It might be a bit late, but I had a nasty case of the flu and was confined to the bed until recently. Now I'm back on six cylinders.

Since I was confined to the bed I had the opportunity to watch a lot of television, and one of the TV series that I have really started to pay attention to is the "Lockup" series on MSNBC. It's a series where MSNBC goes into the maximum security prisons and not only films the conditions, but interviews the inmates. It really amazes me how some of these "thugs" say they want to get out to see their families or be with their children or loved ones, and then you see "UPDATE: so-and-so violated parole on x-x-xxxx and was returned to prison." If prison life is so hard (based on what you said in your interview) and you miss your family and your children so much, then why would you blatently violate your parole just to end up back in jail? Dude, grow up...unless you don't want any responsibility and you just want the State to house, feed and clothe you. Then that means you're not a man. You're a....well, you get the idea.

I have a solution for people that are habitual jailbirds. First strike = minimal time. Second strike = up to 40 years. Third strike = Go to Iraq. Yes, you heard me right, send them to Iraq and Afghanistan. Give them a six shooter and a parachute, and push them out of the plane. Since these folks want to be big and bad, let them be. I guarantee you they wouldn't last ten seconds over there.

It's a new year. It's a new way of thinking. It's a new me.

Today's chat was brought to you by the letter "T" and the number "7".

End Transmission.

Cabrini-Green Closes, A Sad Reality Of Public Housing

noreply@blogger.com (Tim) — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 17:56:00 +0000

Remember Cabrini-Green?
(If you're as old as I am, you probably remember the TV series "Good Times". If you don't know what I'm talking about, go to Wikipedia.)

No more. The last tenant moved out yesterday, making way for the last of the housing complex to be demolished. (Click here for the story.) The last tenant was a 54 year old lady and her family. She didn't want to leave, the family didn't want to leave. She was a resident of Cabrini-Green for 21 years, and was forced to leave behind all of the memories of the "Burling building", as the tower was called in which she lived.

21 years of memories. Let's see:

The good: Raising families, the family debates, the neighbors, the parties.
The bad: Sniper shootings of police officers, the 1992 murder of a 7 year old as he held his mother's hand, and the absolutely brutal rape and poisoning of 9 year old "Girl X".

21 years of.....wait a second, 21 YEARS? 21 YEARS in the projects? Yup, you heard it folks. This brings up the discussion of "how long should an individual be in public housing". Now I've seen a lot of comments on both sides of this discussion. Some people are blasting her for "loafing off of the system", others say that we should leave her be. Either way, it is not our place to judge her circumstances, because WE WERE NOT THERE. In my opinion (I have to say "In My Opinion now because I know people are watching...lol), I don't think she was abusing the system. I think she was trying to make the projects a home, which (again, in my opinion) should not be.

However.....in my opinion there are some instances where individuals in public housing today ARE taking advantage of the system. You see, Cabrini-Green was opened back in the 60's, a completely different time. Young girls weren't having 9 and 10 kids en masse with 3 and 4 baby-daddys just to get a Link card and have the government take care of them. Young men weren't going around being deadbeats...and if they were you didn't hear too much about it, at least not to the level where it is today. But now....it is ACCEPTED. WTF??

My brothers and sisters, please understand what I'm about to say. In my opinion, if you are an able-body individual, it is NOT COOL to live off of the Government for the rest of your life. It is NOT COOL to be a freeloader because you can't put a rubber on, be on the pill or keep your legs closed. It is NOT COOL to have four baby mommas or five baby daddys. It is NOT COOL TO LIVE OFF OF THE GOVERNMENT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Now, re-read the last sentence three more times before moving on.

I was on the system. Yes, when I lost my job I had to get a Link card and accept government assistance. And it was the worst feeling in the world. I did everything within my power to get out of the system. I'm sorry but I am not one to wait for a handout. Now I know that there are some individuals out there that MUST be on the system (such as the elderly), but if you are an ABLE-BODY PERSON, YOU NEED TO WORK ON GETTING OFF OF THE SYSTEM.

But back to the last resident and her family. The moving trucks came, they loaded everything up, and as she walked out with the last of her belongings, the security officers closed the doors and sealed them shut behind her. She was moved to another housing development on the south side of Chicago, to an area that she really doesn't know anything about. I wish her well, and hope that God watches over her and her family.

End Transmission.

Racism at its best

noreply@blogger.com (Tim) — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 15:13:00 +0000

Two posts in one week? Who would've thought....

But seriously folks, today I need to touch on a subject that has been eating at me for a while now:

Racism. Yeah, I said it.

Racism comes in all forms, all shapes and sizes. It could either be caucasians against blacks, dog against cat, you get the idea. However you size it up, racism is WRONG. Unfortunately, there are a lot of individuals out there that don't quite get that fact. I'll give you a few examples.

Every night (until recently anyway) there would be this caucasian individual that would take the same train home that I do, and get off at the same stop. This individual would purposely wait until I get ready to get up, and then force his way out in front of me. Now, you might say "oh he's just being an asshole" but I don't notice him doing that to other caucasians. Food for thought. This is called "subtle-racism". Now, you might notice I said in the beginning "until recently". This is because three nights ago when I politely said "excuse me" to get past him, he rudely asked "where are you going", and I showed him where I was going by pushing my way past him. As we exited the station he walked past me and started walking quickly as to get away from him. Little did he know we were going to the same parking lot. I walk faster, he walks faster. I walk even faster still, he starts running. Most people who perform "subtle-racism" usually will spit their venom and run away because they know they might get their asses kicked, or worse. This is typically called a "punk". Moving on....

Another type of racism, the kind which should be avoided at all costs, is "blatant-racism". These are your dicks that will call you a "n-word" to your face (or the totally inappropriate racial slur) and dare you to do something about it. The good news is that these types of racists are far and few inbetween. I only had that happen to me once, and I was in a group of about ten big brothas at the time. After a few words were exchanged, it didn't happen again.

Finally, there is the type that messes with my head each time I see it. "Reverse-racism", where people are completely racist towards their own ethnic group! I mean, there is a difference between not dating someone from your own ethnic group versus not associating, speaking to, or speaking badly about, those in your own ethnic group! There was an individual I knew years ago that told me, to my face, that he "doesn't like black people, doesn't want to be around black people, and HATES black people". Guess what color he is?

The bottom line is, all racists are punks. They use their mouths to say some off the wall shit that shouldn't be said. They use their actions to continue their agenda, and most times they're not all that anyway.

I hope we've all learned something today.

This entry was brought to you by the letter "C" and the number "3".

End Transmission.

Haters Around The Holidays

noreply@blogger.com (Tim) — Thu, 09 Dec 2010 16:16:00 +0000

It happens every year. The "calendar" turns. What calendar you might ask? Let me explain...

I am convinced that some (not all) people that are gay (or bi-sexual) operate on a two-season shift which has everything to do with the weather outside. From November-April, I promise you I will get calls from ex-boyfriends, people that have completely done me wrong, told me to go to hell, etc., wondering "how I'm doing" and if we "can hang out". It amuses me that people think I'm that shallow. Why would I even entertain you up close and personal like that just for...

April-November to come around.
From April-November, just like the Southwest commercial, everyone is "free to move about the country" and not have a care in the world. Some will go out to bars, others will go to park and bathhouses. They will hook up, and shack up, albet temporarily. The next day the cycle starts all over again.

I have a very interesting theory as to why the haters....as I call it....come around during the holidays. You see, we as humans are somewhat like the elephant; we don't like to be alone. We will never admit it, but it is true. Some people just want that warm bed and warm body to be next to, others just want to say they have someone for the holidays. In addition, there are some that simply can't stand seeing you either (1) happy with someone else, or (2) happy being by yourself.

Does that happen to you? If so, here's my response. Tell them in a nice way (remember, Santa is watching!) that you are not interested and to leave you alone. If they persist, then, by all means, push back if they push. Let them know that THEY walked out on YOU (if that is the case) and they need to keep walking.

Thank you. And have a nice day.

End Transmission.

Damn! Where's the compassion???

noreply@blogger.com (Tim) — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 19:09:00 +0000

So today at work we had a town hall meeting and it was revealed that there would be a reduction-in-force starting in 2011. Immediately I start worrying about my job (as I'm sure most of you would as well, given the state of our lack-of-economy). So the town hall ends and I'm back at my desk, when I get a text message from someone...we'll call him "Marcus".

Marcus: How ru
Me: Ok I guess
Marcus: Y is that
Me: Long story. Well not so long. Got some news at work.
Marcus: ?
Me: 2011 will bring a 10% reduction in the workforce.
Marcus: Ahhh. Well u tell me often u have tons of downtime

Yes ladies and gentlemen, you read it correctly. No compassion, no apologies, nothing. Just being a cold, dark, ASSHOLE. This is NOT made up, this is copied directly from my cellphone! Someone I thought was a buddy is quickly turning out to be a total and complete asshole.

But wait! There's more....

Me: Wow. Thanks for the encouragement.
Marcus: Wrong response huh?

Yeah, ya think? Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out buddy!

Then finally...

Marcus: Sorry but it sounds like u were complaining both ways...

Someone PLEASE tell me where I was complaining! I mean come on, you can't make this stuff up!

Which is what I've been saying all along. People are a fuckin trip. I could go on and on about "Marcus", but I think I'll stop right there. If this individual is acting this way now, I can only imagine what would go down if something really serious happened. Suppose I was involved in, let's say, a medical emergency. Would your response be "well you tell me often you have lots of downtime..."?

Show some fucking compassion and stop being such a dick.

End Transmission.

You know what really grinds my gears?

noreply@blogger.com (Tim) — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 17:42:00 +0000

Good morning (or afternoon, or evening, depending on when you're reading this). Let me quickly get on my soapbox about people.

People are a fuckin trip.

It never ceases to amaze me how much bullshit people can be on. One minute they are cool, the next minute they are nonexistant. Or they can be all in your face until they get what they want (or need), then they completely disappear. Or my all time favorite, the people that tell you to go to hell, you swallow it, move on and forget about them, and then in the gay period of November through April, they're blowing up your e-mail, IPhone, cell phone, text messaging, all of that.

Let me focus on that type of person today by giving this example:

There is an individual on the east coast that I dated a few years back. Obviously it didn't work out. This person was a complete psycho, not taking "no", "hell no" or even "fuck off" for an answer. They would blow up my cell phone, email and voicemail at least 5 times A DAY. Finally, it got to the point that I had to get "niggerish" on them and tell them where to go and how to get there. They respond with a few crock tears and a rather loud "fuck you and go to hell". Then we parted ways. Or so I thought. A few days ago, I receive an email from this person saying "hi, I was just checking on you. I hear you're coming to DC soon. Maybe we can meet there and have lunch?" Uh.....NO. All of a sudden after YEARS, you want to have lunch with me? Sure, and I have a piece of property on the ocean to sell you.

I responded back with a "who is this" statement. Didn't hear from them again. GOOD.

An associate calls the period from November through April "dyking season". Meaning it doesn't matter what your sexual orientation or preference is, lonely miserable individuals with nothing going for themselves are looking for that warm bed to sleep in, that hot meal, that nice comfortable warm car to ride in because they know it gets real cold standing on the bus stop!

Dyke on, my brothas. Just don't come in my direction with that bullshit.

Oh, and to my lesbian friends out there that are offended with the use of the "D" word, please know that it's not meant in a defamatory way, and definitely not towards you. If that doesn't suffice, I apologize.

End Transmission.

3 Things That Drive Me Crazy

noreply@blogger.com (Tim) — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 15:15:00 +0000

Hello everyone. Time for another edition of "What Drives Tim Crazy", hosted by your blog owner, Tim! This edition will list the top two reasons why my hair is slowly turning grey based on things that have happened within the past couple of months time. Bear in mind that there are lots of things that drive me crazy, but these are the top two for this edition. And now without further adieu, we start with.....

NUMBER 1.
I walk into a gas station or convenience store with the intention of buying the scratch off lottery tickets. The vast majority (if not all) of lottery retailers keep their tickets in a glass or plastic case where you can see not only the tickets that they sell, but the price of each ticket. When I go to buy a $20 ticket (or more than one) it drive me crazy that the person behind the counter then says "you know those tickets are $20 right?" As if I'm stupid and can't see the ticket and the price of the ticket on it! Are you implying that I cannot afford these tickets? You don't know me very well, do you? I promise you though, the next time that happens, I'm either going to (a) walk out and leave the tickets without saying a word, or (b) tell the shop person "no shit! I CAN READ!"

And now for the icing on the cake.....

NUMBER 2.
Comcast.
I could stop right there.

I have four boxes in my house, two DVRs and two HD boxes. For some strange reason or another, one of my DVR boxes has never worked. They have sent signals, rebooted the box, hell I've even shut down the power in my entire house from the circuit breaker and restarted! They even sent two techs out to the house, but I continued to get the "One Moment Please" message. Customer Service continued to tell me that the box was not on my account, but it's in my house, right? Duh! So they would add the box onto my account and it would work, only for it to go down again a day or two later. This has been going on since late September. So finally, my friend that works at Comcast, took one look at my account and IN TEN MINUTES TIME, figured out that the box was reported "lost" and needed to be replaced. It took one person TEN MINUTES to solve a problem that FIFTEEN OTHER PEOPLE COULDN'T SOLVE IN TWO MONTHS TIME. Again, Comcast.

Oh, and while I'm talking about icing on the cake....

NUMBER 3.
Relationships on Facebook.

Look, we all know that Facebook allows you to post your relationship status on there. Let me just say that if you are "Single" on Monday, "In a Relationship" on Tuesday, "Single" again on Wednesday, "It's Complicated" on Thursday, and "Married" from Friday-Sunday, or if every week you go from "In a Relationship" to "Single", or any combination of the above, you need to STOP USING THAT FACEBOOK FEATURE.

Thank you for joining me for this edition of "What Drives Tim Crazy". Tune in for another adventure.

End Transmission.

Reflection: Is It OK To Be Nice And Treat People To Nice Things?

noreply@blogger.com (Tim) — Fri, 22 Oct 2010 20:45:00 +0000

Happy Friday everyone!

This afternoon I was sitting at work when I had a reflection on the past several months of my life. Ever since last year I have tried to help certain people and even treat certain people to nice things. Most times I can see the appreciation and admiration in their actions, however there have been a few times that I not only didn't feel that, but have felt outright used and abused. Those are the times that I've been reflecting on today.

Let's take for example a couple of individuals in Atlanta that I befriended over the past Labor Day holiday, only to have them use me and lead me to thinking that a friendship would happen. Or the individuals on my birthday that I took on a seven day cruise on the largest cruise ship (at the time), only to be insulted, beat up (mentally), spat on (again, mentally), and forced to contact ship security for individuals that I considered friends and that I wanted to spend my special day with. How about an individual that works (or worked, i'm not sure now) at my church that I loaned money to under the auspices of helping her in a serious time of need, only to not hear from that person again. The list goes on and on....and on.

But with the bad apples come a few good ones, such as Chris' mom for helping her get into the house that she's in now. Or the homeless person that I gave a $20 bill to outside of KFC just to get him and his wife/girlfriend/partner something to eat and a place to sleep for the night. Or the Center on Halsted for my continued financial support and for the good that they contnue to churn out for the community at large.

Even with the good that has come out of the bad (I learned who should be in my inner circle, which unfortunately has shrunk to record low levels), I still ask myself, is it OK to be nice to people and treat them to nice things? Unfortunately I don't know that answer, but I feel that it's a shame that complete strangers will appreciate kindness better than people that are your so-called friends. It is a matter of appreciation, I suppose. I feel that everyone should appreciate all of the good that other people do, whether they be a friend, acquaintance, partner, or even a stranger. You never know when your blessing will come back to you...or if you'll need that person again. (As a quick footnote, all of the bad apples that I mentioned know better than to approach me again for anything. The wounds are too deep and the bridge is completely gone.)

Let's think about that for a second...and then move on.

End Transmission.

OK...Real Talk About Our GLBT Children....

noreply@blogger.com (Tim) — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 17:31:00 +0000

This afternoon I opened my Facebook account and noticed that one of my friends posted on his page about another one of our GLBT children committing suicide.

I immediately thought about was how it was when I came out to my parents...oh some 16 years ago now. I was 17 and just coming home from college when my mother suddenly whirled around and told me to my face "I know you're gay!". Of course at the time I denied it, being as I was destined to live in HER house for the time being. We didn't speak for almost two years because of that - our conversations were mostly passing notes to each other, and then my turning to some risky behavior, such as staying out of the house for days at a time at other people's houses that I barely knew (including a one month stint at this guy's house in Wheaton, but that's a different topic for a different day). Eventually I got accepted at another university and moved there, and from there into my very first apartment after landing a job at Chase bank.

Back in those days life was very different. Yes there were stressful times after coming out, but there were also a few people back then that you don't see nowadays. MENTORS. My very first mentor was an older guy named Paul. Paul taught me that I didn't need to run from my issues of coming out and being gay, taught me to stop engaging in the above mentioned behavior, and even helped me get the job at Chase. Paul was a wonderful person and he grew into someone that I loved until his passing. But before he passed away, he taught me one very important lesson:

Everything will be OK.

Folks, please understand the following things:
(1) everything will be OK in time. Life sometimes throws us a curve to make us stronger. (2) People that bully you are usually jealous of you. Take that negative energy and turn it into a positive. God put all of us on this earth for a purpose, maybe your purpose is to let people know that it is OK to be gay and that life will be OK.
And finally, (3), suicide is NEVER, under any circumstances, NEVER the answer. There is no escape hatch to life! By leaving too soon you are robbing those other individuals that will benefit from your blessing!

So please, take a deep breath. Step back. Take the punches. Talk to your peers, counselors and parents. Talk to other "out and gay" youth. Stick together. And never bow out of the fight early.

End Transmission.

And now a statement from the author of this blog...

noreply@blogger.com (Tim) — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 03:29:00 +0000

Good evening everyone.

Lately the discussion has been raised regarding whether blogging is free speech or not. I recently have been forced to make a statement on this issue due to certain individuals which will remain anonymous.

I for one have always believed in the Constitution of the United States. The First Amendment guarantees free speech to all. As of late, there have been some individuals that have attempted to "bully" me based on some things that have been said in the past, and have tried to "silence" me.

This led me to not only consult with my attorney but to do some Internet research. Rest assured, that "bullying" or "intimidating" me to be silent in my telling of the truth will not succeed. I will continue to speak the truth until the good Lord calls me home. I will continue to blog, and in some instances, I will continue to speak my opinion, as guaranteed by the First Amendment.

For those individuals attempting to "silence" or "bully" me that have decided to start "monitoring" my blog, by all means, please do continue. You might learn something.

With that being said, have a good evening.

End Transmission.

Just trying to be nice, but.....

noreply@blogger.com (Tim) — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 15:01:00 +0000

This past week trying to deal with the new house and all of the issues with it lead to a series of migraine headaches, one right behind the other, daily. I felt that a one day getaway, or "hitting the reset button" would help.

Not so. Well not entirely.

I came to DC to spend Saturday trying to relax. Issues tried to follow me here and I resolved them as best as I could. But it never fails, there's always bullshit out there.

Saturday night I went to Starbucks. Yes, Starbucks. As I was sitting at one of the few tables there this guy comes up and asks if we can share a table. I say sure. So he proceeds to sit down and we have decent conversation....until the relationship subject came up. Then he proceeds to completely blow off the fact that I told him I'm with someone and says "you must not be happy, he's not here with you.". I get up and walk away.

Now I decide I need a drink. So I walk over to Dupont Circle and go to Omega DC for a couple of beers. Why did I do that? Between the strippers eye humping me for money and the young skinny boy that was very tipsy and not taking no for an answer, I did not have a good time.

Now I could easily block all of this out and turn into a bitter jaded old queen that won't speak to anybody and always walks around looking evil and acts like I'm better than everybody. Should I? Is this the only way to be in the gay community now? Act like I'm all that because I have a lover and a house and a good job? Some would say yes, but I can't do that. My mother taught me (and God has taught me) to be nice to people no matter what. But this is surely being tested.

I'm going home today. And suddenly I welcome any problems waiting for me at home.

End Transmission.

- Posted from my iPhone.

Location:Washington, DC

I am NOT your personal chaffeur and I don't care if you get mad!

noreply@blogger.com (Tim) — Thu, 23 Sep 2010 13:53:00 +0000

So this past weekend I was in DC for business. While I was there I had the opportunity (by way of an upgrade - thank you Hertz) to drive around in an Infiniti Truck - a QX56 I believe. And yes, I want one.

While I was out and about, I happened to run into someone that Chris and I both know very well. Won't name any names here - even though I really want to. We sit down and eat together in Dupont Circle. This was sometime Saturday evening. So the time comes when it's time for me to go back to my hotel and get ready to depart on Sunday. My hotel is in NW DC; this person lives WAY in SE DC. No offense against SE DC but I'm not driving a $70,000 truck in SE after dark.

So no big surprise that this person wanted me to take them home. But wait a second, my question is, how did you get down to Dupont Circle?

That's right, ON THE METRO.

When I tell them that I don't have time to take them all the way home and then come all the way back to NW DC, they get an attitude, won't say two more words to me, storms out and walks to the Metro. And now this person has blocked me on Facebook! How fun.

My thing is, I will help anyone that I can. But when I say NO, that's it. NO means NO. And besides, it's my damn truck! I have the right NOT to take you anywhere or play your private chauffeur so people can see you in the passengers seat and you can act like you're all that. Boy, please. But it's all good. You got down there on the Metro, you can go home on the Metro. End of story.

Crazy negroes abound...even in DC.

End Transmission.

The New House!

noreply@blogger.com (Tim) — Fri, 17 Sep 2010 22:55:00 +0000

For the past two months now, Chris and I have been trying to obtain financing for a townhome in the suburbs that we absolutely fell in love with. This particular townhouse has 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, a 2 car garage and is nearly 1900 square feet. I liked it because it gives room to grow. Chris liked it for pretty much the same reasons. The present owner of the townhome is an elderly lady that (God bless her) has been wonderful during this entire process.

Did I say process? Believe it or not it's been a very smooth transaction. Even my real estate attorney told me "It's a good transaction when we're not speaking daily or have each other's numbers on speed dial". I laughed. But unfortunately, he was telling the truth. We haven't spoken on a daily basis nor do we have each other's numbers on speed dial. Everything fell into place at the right time, and that is nothing but God. I give thanks and glory to Him for what I'm about to say next.

This morning, after two months of sending in hundreds (yes, LITERALLY HUNDREDS) of pages of paperwork, filling out dozens of pages of paperwork, nearly giving my fax machine a heart attack from faxing nearly 300 pages of paperwork in, I received the news today that the financing has been approved and we have been given the clear to close on our new home! The official signing and transition will take place on Monday morning at 9:00am!

Remember when I posted a while back about walking through hell to get your blessing? Well, once again, this is proof that it does pay off. Believe me; it does. In this economy where banks are not lending, people are not working and it is a general sense of despair, God has found favor to bless me..and Chris.

Thank you God.
Thank you God.
Thank you...God.

End Transmission.

ATL Pride Weekend Ends With Two Men Killed

noreply@blogger.com (Tim) — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 20:29:00 +0000

On Sunday, two men were shot and killed execution style in an apartment in Southeast Atlanta.

According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, 26 year old Calvin Streater of Atlanta and 21 year old Samuel Blizzard Jr of Spring Grove, Virginia, were found murdered execution style. The police believe they knew their killer, and continue to investigate. The police went further to say that they believe both individuals were in town for the Black Gay Pride festivities over the weekend, and that they are questioning a number of their friends to try to retrace their steps.

My heart goes out to these two young men. May they rest in peace.

And now, a personal message to the person or persons responsible for their death:

It hurts my heart that people can't even go out of town and enjoy themselves without being killed. I could easily speculate and say that these two individuals met this person or persons somewhere or on the Internet, went to this apartment to have a night of fun, and wound up paying for it with their lives. I could also go further and say that this was possibly one of the illustrious "DL-WANNA-BE-NEGROES" that frequent (or live in) Atlanta.

But I won't go that route, because unfortunately we don't know all the facts.

I will say this though: Run like hell. I can guarantee you that eventually, you will be caught, whether it be by the Police, a bullet with your name on it, or by God.

I did not know these two individuals, either personally or via Facebook. However it makes me sick to see two individuals trying to have a good time at such a young age, only to be cut down by an asshole that needs to have his ass not only kicked, but stoned, hung and strung up.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled program.

Being nice sometimes does pay off....

noreply@blogger.com (Tim) — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 14:43:00 +0000

Last week I wrote in my blog about my attempts to reach out to an ex from 15 years ago simply because I had been concerned about him. In that same entry I found out that maybe it wasn't such a good idea as that person had not changed (and got my hand slapped by my boy Cocoa Rican in the process).

Well, needless to say, I left that situation (and him) alone. However a couple of days ago I received a communique from said ex. He said, in part:

"though I have changed so much, there was a small part of me holding on to other emotions I buried deep and chose not to deal with, which I thought I did. Not going to go into much detail but I wanted to say thanks."

Sometimes being nice, even in the face of adversity, pays off in the way of helping other people. However, will I contact him again? Probably not.

I too, want to thank him though. Through his pictures and his demeanor, it pushed me to get back into the gym and fulfill a long-term goal, which is to lose some of my gut and firm up the upper body. After 3 sessions I'm glad to say that it is working, and I'm down 6 pounds already!

Being nice sometimes does pay off....for all concerned.

End Transmission.

Another trifling ass Chicago driver

noreply@blogger.com (Tim) — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 22:03:00 +0000

Another Friday, another trifling ass no license no insurance having Negro in Chicago.

In an attempt to pick up my baby from work, I had to pull in front of his building and wait. This ugly beat up car pulled directly in front of me. Do you think he would pull up 2 feet to let me all the way in? Of course not! Them he wanted to say something smart as he finally pulled off.

Fine.

I took a photo of your license number. Nuff said. I'm so tired of these ignorant drivers that I will start posting photos on here.

End Transmission.

- Posted from my iPhone.

Location:E Chicago Ave,Chicago,United States

A note to a dumbass

noreply@blogger.com (Tim) — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 14:53:00 +0000

To the owner of the purple Impala with Illinois license plate H42 3416 that stopped all traffic in my job's parking garage, you are truly an inconsiderate DUMBASS.

At my job there is one entrance and one exit. You pull a ticket or swipe your keycard to enter and exit. Why the hell would you block the entrance with your beat up piece of crap, get OUT OF YOUR CAR, and LEAVE IT TO BLOCK THE ENTRANCE? On top of that you ask me if I can wait a little bit and get an attitude when I say no!

HELL NAW! I'M TRYING TO GET TO WORK! Just because you don't work, don't block it so I can't!

If I see your car again I am just going to have to key the car and whoop your ass.

End Transmission.

- Posted from my iPhone.

Location:W Arcade Pl,Chicago,United States

Some people never change...even when you're nice to them

noreply@blogger.com (Tim) — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 21:15:00 +0000

Over the past few months I have had random thoughts about one of my ex-boyfriends. Not random dirty thoughts, mind you, but thoughts such as "is he ok?" and "is he still alive?" I searched for him across the Internet on occasion and came up with nothing.

Until last night. I found him.

Google lead me to a blog that he posts, which in turn lead me to his Facebook page. (I searched Facebook first and foremost and came up with nothing prior to last night.) I sent him a friend request and put my laptop to sleep. This morning when I get into work I power up my laptop and notice that he has a chat widget on his blog, and that he was online. So I reached out to him in an attempt to see how he was doing and to see if he was OK.

It didn't go very well.

The conversation, which lasted all of 10 minutes, was very challenging. I felt as if I were walking on eggshells the entire time. I felt as if he didn't want to be bothered, so I asked him if he wanted to be bothered with me and that if he didn't to just tell me. He didn't say that he didn't want to, so we continue chatting. In the end, it seemed as if he thought I were trying to sleep with him or have him back, and the conversation ended with "I don't want to add you to Facebook right now."

UH....NO.

First of all, I don't want you back. I was genuine in my concern for you. You fall off of the face of the Earth, you know what most people think. Secondly, even though you look as though you've been hitting the gym, I don't want to sleep with you. I got a man at home for that. Finally, you are still the arrogant, pompous, stuck-up wanna-be-all-that-kid-with-caviar-taste-and-bologna-and-cheese-money person that broke up with me 15 years ago....and put me out with no where to go, but I digress. Madea said "forgive...but always remember".

So with that being said, I withdrew my friend request from Facebook, ended the chat, closed his blog and deleted it from my favorites and my history. Guess you can say I've deleted him from my history, too.

Oh and by the way, I hired a personal trainer today too.

End Transmission.

What the past two months has taught me..

noreply@blogger.com (Tim) — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 20:30:00 +0000

Hello all. I decided to take a quick 2 month hiatus to focus on some other things. I chose to focus more so on family, relationships and finances, and I've learned a lot.

As I type this, I am on an Airtran aircraft heading down to Atlanta for the weekend. It was placed on my heart to share something with everyone while we zip along at over 400 miles per hour..and I enjoy this lovely cocktail after a long week.

You know when you are about to climb to the next level, the devil will send all of his minions out to get you? My pastor put it in this way (I'm para-phrasing): "If you are catching a lot of hell, keep going, because you have to go THROUGH hell to get to your blessing!" Needless to say I've been catching a little bit of hell lately. People that I thought were in my corner weren't really in my corner, they were just using me for their gain. Read on...

Back in May I decided to take myself, Chris, and several of our friends on a 7-day cruise aboard the Liberty of the Seas. I pretty much paid the vast majority of the cruise...we're talking about $15,000...just to have a good time and to make sure everyone else was comfortable. Individuals showed their ass on the ship, the ship that if I hadn't paid for, they would never be on it. All of this hell went down - believe it or not - on my birthday. My actual birthday. I won't go into the particulars of the incident but let's just say it involved 6 of the 14 people that went with us, words were exchanged and ship's security had to be called. Those individual pretty much will not only never travel with us again, but will never be allowed on a Royal Caribbean ship again. One of these individuals I helped out tremendously. When this person needed their vehicle fixed, I helped. When their children faced the reality of not having a Christmas, I stepped up and gave them money to get presents for their children. And this is how I was repaid? At first I took it personal, but then I realized that it was just the devil using her to make me evil and bitter. That has since passed. Have I forgiven this person (as well as the others)? Yes. Will I speak to them again? Probably not.

Moving on.

There is an individual that works on my team that operates out of the DC office. We do not get along - at all. I have nothing against this person; this person just is the type that will stab you in the back and lie on you at the first available opportunity. Needless to say, me, this person, my boss and their boss had to have a meeting to "clear the air", and they lied. And lied. And lied. Again, the devil using her to make me evil and bitter. And again, have I forgiven this person? Yes. Will I speak to them again? Only if it is work related.

These are just two examples as to how the devil is throwing everything he has at me because the GREATER HIM...God...is blessing me and Chris, over and over and over again. We are in the final stages of purchasing a home, and the devil doesn't like that. We have funds in the bank, and the devil doesn't like that. Work for me is going extremely well, and the devil doesn't like that. My relationship with Chris couldn't be better, and the devil doesn't like that.

As a survivor of many things...living in a home where domestic violence occurred, being robbed at gunpoint, being diagnosed with HIV and now all of this, I can tell you that I have been through, and am going through, hell. But the good news is that I'm just going THROUGH hell, which means that eventually, the devil will tire, and I will pass through hell.

I have done it. You can do it. Just keep going. If you're not going through hell and the devil isn't messing with you, turn around. If you are going through hell and the devil is messing with you, KEEP GOING.

This is my testimony, and I'm glad to share it with you. With that....

End Transmission...at 32,000 feet.

Wow...Fridays aren't supposed to be like this!

noreply@blogger.com (Tim) — Fri, 07 May 2010 17:00:00 +0000

This is one of those Fridays that you know the devil is at work. It's chilly, rainy, dark and dreary. And yes, the devil is at work.

Two very interesting and scary things have happened in Chicago over the past 4 hours, one very close to where I work. (Both articles are courtesy of various news sources.)

First, Two people were killed in a shooting at the Old Navy store on State Street in downtown Chicago this morning. Police are investigating and it appears the shooting occurred downstairs in an employee-only area of the store. Customers said the store manager got them out. It is reported that a man walked into the Old Navy store and shot his girlfriend before turning the gun on himself, sending panicked shoppers pouring out onto State Street. (This is still developing at this hour.)

Then, Metra Chief Phil Pagano committed suicide this morning by walking in front of a Metra train, just hours before an emergency meeting in which the Metra board of directors planned to discuss Pagano's alleged misconduct.

This has been one hell of a day so far. And it's only noon. My prayers go out to the families of all involved individuals today.

End Transmission.

Don't Lie To Cover Your Own Ass....Or Because You're Incompetent

noreply@blogger.com (Tim) — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 21:54:00 +0000

I'm discovering something very interesting about a certain person that works with me.

Two days ago, I was on a conference call with the other admin assistants in my division, planning our All Hands meeting this week. A conversation came up about taking a tour of the DC campus buildings. One of the admins named Kimberly said that she would bring her SUV, but that it could only seat 5. Seeing as I knew I would be in DC a few days past the end of our meetings, I decided to offer to pick up my rental car early to add a few extra seats. I made mention that I usually get an upgrade to an SUV automatically, and this is how the conversation went:

Me: I can pick up my rental car on Tuesday evening, and I usually get an automatic upgrade to an SUV, so we'll have those seats.
Kimberly: "Well if you wanna be big balla shot caller and get your SUV upgrade, go ahead."

Now she said all of this on a conference call with other people. HOW UNPROFESSIONAL!

But wait! It gets better.

My manager, her manager (the vice-president), and the two of us got together for a meeting today. SHE BLATINTLY LIED IN THAT MEETING saying that those were not the words that she said (which they were), and when I brought up another time that she offended me, she first acted as if she didn't know what I was talking about, and then acted as if it was entirely my fault. Then, she mentions that she "took diversity training". What the hell does diversity training have to do with anything? Are you saying that because I'm a black openly gay male, you feel it necessary to try and secretly "cut" me? Finally, in her "apology" e-mail, she tells me in one line that she "apologizes", but in the next line says "apparently you're the only one in the company that has a problem with me". WTF???????

Let me tell you something Kimberly. EVERYONE IN THE ROOM knew that you lied. EVERYONE knows how full of manure you are. As long as you don't say anything to me, and I don't say anything to you, I think we'll be fine. But say another word to me in an offensive tone, and I will do everything in my power to see to it that you are SANCTIONED.

Have a great day.

End Transmission.