Tinokla Scribbles and Doodles

Boys Over Flowers

Tinokla — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 16:07:18 +0000

One of the perks of my current employment is that I get to go home early (Yipee!!). Because of this, I have had the opportunity of discovering Boys Over Flowers in Channel 2… As I was a certified Meteor Garden fanatic before, it was not difficult to take interest (and eventually, an addiction) to this famed Koreanovela. In comparison, this series is in many respects, better than the Taiwanese version. The lead stars are more glamourous looking and the story line is better written. However, regardless of which version is better or not, I still commend the genius behind Hana Yori Dango for effortlessly catapulting actors and actresses into stardom!

More pathetic addictions…

Tinokla — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 09:22:34 +0000

As of now, I am guilty of so many insane addictions in my life. I’m now in the process of self-reflection… probably to see if I am still mentally healthy or not.
My latest on the list are as follows:
1) Twilight Series- I am now reading the series a second time around… I was telling my sister that this Twilight fanaticism seems to be a never ending cycle for us… Watch the movie, read the books, read midnight sun, read the outtakes, watch the New Moon trailer, watch Robert and Kirsten in Youtube, then do everything all over again… crazy, crazy…

2) Boys Over/Before Flowers- Admit it guys, I am not the only one who went gaga over Meteor Garden way back 2003 or 2004… Well, I truly believe that this Korean version is way better… why? well for starters, the F4 here looks cleaner and richer, hehehe (sorry Jerry Yan fans…) I have planned to do marathon viewing over the weekend but ended up being utterly frustrated after purchasing 2 yucky pirated DVD’s of the series. I wish to get an original copy soon.

3) Ebay, Ebay, and more Ebay- My CR and laptop seem to be a package deal nowadays… I have developed a nasty habit of typing and working in my new found comfort zone- My CR… this may gross out other people but I don’t mind. I feel mentally awake inside the restroom- with of course, my coffee and my smokes jolting my brain cells and urging me to think… Well back to ebay, when I am not in the mood to blog, I bid in ebay… let me correct that, I heavily bid in ebay… After an endless stream of packages from Air21, 2go and JRS express, I found myself being financially crippled- with expenses significantly outweighing my net income for the month (and still I’m wondering why my husband is giving me a warning look already…) Now, I am pondering on the idea of selling the piles of material belongings that I have back in ebay.

Well guys, I know we all have our own dirty little pathetic distractions in life but as I have realized… we have to keep our reasonable senses at bay and give ourselves a little nudge on the head if we go overboard already (so so like me)…

Another Change…

Tinokla — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 08:49:15 +0000

Changes have now become almost routinary for me… And now, I have decided that it’s time to let go and welcome more alterations in my life, including, of course, my beloved website…
As some might know, my original theme was designed by my ultra creative husband, Paulo… with BWS and my kids as my inspiration. Since I’m out of BWS, it feels wrong to use the same theme. I kept nagging him to design a new one for me but he says I gotta shell out some ideas, too. Well, just for now, I browsed through the available themes in wordpress and found one that fancies me… Hope you like it… I am also hoping that my eternally loving husband would find the time to help me out, too…

Twilight Madness

Tinokla — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 05:07:38 +0000

As with many teenagers and teenager-wanna be’s right now, I am now officially and insanely hooked with Twilight… I could not resist buying my own boxed set of Stephenie Meyer’s masterpiece. Believe me, the feeling of satisfaction was nothing like buying a new Zara, Mango or Kamiseta dress… it is utterly beyond words… magical perhaps… like I now have my own vampire Edward with me…. Insane…

Reading the Twilight saga has indeed been worth the many sleep deprivations I have had in the last 4 weeks. Maybe, the thing that made me really guilty was the fact that I stole away some time that was supposedly meant for my children and work (By the way, I am now a non-bum… I accepted a teaching assignment in another school). Anyway, I really have the tendency to be easily addicted at something. I can still vividly recall how I fell maddeningly infatuated with Jo In Sung of Memories of Bali and Jerry Yan of Meteor Garden… At 31, however, I have now learned to discriminate my thoughts… like for example realizing that my fanaticism with Edward Cullen is not the same as that of Robert Pattinson.

Part of it is that I really love to read a good novel once in a while. I would gladly zoom in the pages of my favorite fiction than read inspirational materials. I get a knack out of following the lives of make-believe characters… crying with them and feeling their pain, laughing or fuming with anger with them, and of course, relishing the kilig moments, as if I am really a part of the story … Insane again…

Right about now, I am enjoying my second round of Twilight madness… squeezing in the opportunity once in a while amidst my chaotic but happy world of reality… These few and stolen moments elate me in ways that are indescribable… Not really alienating me from what is real but more of appreciating everything that I have. I have my Edward in the person of my loving and funny Paulo, I have my own Cullens, I have my Reneesmes’… what more can I ask for? I mean, really, when I think about it, life could not be much better than this…

Should I embrace the lifestyle of a BUM?

Tinokla — Wed, 27 May 2009 16:02:03 +0000

I have been technically ‘jobless’ for 3 days now and honestly, I am enjoying the perks that come with unemployment- I sleep late (as in… way late), I window shop in ebay for hours (as my sis says, I have to stay ‘liquid’ to avoid financial crisis, no more bidding for me in the meantime), I blog, I surf the net, I take care of my kids, I wake up in the afternoon, I watch TV, I read my favorite novels… Oh my… the list is endless! However, just as I am starting to embrace the lifestyle of a bum, here comes an attractive job opportunity that is literally banging the doors of my haven of complacency… As Joy says (we resigned almost at the same time), she did not expect the offers to start pouring in immediately… I mean,we are still on ’sleep mode’… after going through hell and back, we really as in really deserve this break…

However, should we really let this opportunity go? Should we let it pass and choose, instead, to wallow in the oblivion of relaxation and comfort? Am I really going to stall and wait… hoping that when I’m all fed up resting, the same offer will arrive, and accept me when I am ready?

To be honest, it’s really hard to decide… however, here are some points that might convince me to join the work force again…

1) the selfish need to have purchasing power again

2) the desire to save and re-build my ruined self-esteem

3) the yearning to grow professionally

4) the nagging feelings of guilt- me resting, while my husband and parents toil endlessly is discomfiting…

Well… the final verdict is - OK I accept…I will try to relish my last few ‘dead wood’ days, rest my mind a bit, and gear myself for whatever is coming…

Resignation Blues Part 2

Tinokla — Mon, 25 May 2009 18:41:42 +0000

“The only way to GROW is to have the initiative to get out of your COMFORT ZONE… and do things you thought you could not do…”

Rej sent this to me the night prior her resignation. We were trying to talk her out of it but I guess her own reasons made her firm about her decision. She is the fourth to leave… Unbelievably, management did not persuade her to stay. She said the discussion about her resignation had been brief and swift… direct to the point…
Like the first people to go (Joy and me actually ), she was told to work on her clearance right away, no need to report until May 30. With that, she will start going through the same process as we did- pack-up, turn-over, and say her goodbyes in the quickest time possible.
Several issues have been circulating… they said, our resignation was not ‘properly’ done. Joy and Rej left their letters on the HR’s desk and mine was sent via email. I cannot exactly agree to that… as in many other processes, there is no clear SOP as regards to resignations. What I am pretty sure about is that you should send it 15 or 30 days prior to your last day and that, the person resigning should meet with his/her immediate superior to discuss the matter…
We tried our best to set a long enough time frame prior to our departure. In some ways, we can still help out with the first week class preparations. But I guess, they have other plans for us so they shortened our stay…
When one of my co-teachers asked why, one of the supposed managers said ‘pasalamat nga sila babayaran sila kahit di na magtrabaho’… In my opinion… this statement is harsh and mean… I cried buckets of tears when I found out about it.
But anyways, enough is enough and Im glad to finally close that chapter in my life.
I am now looking into other possibilities in my life. I wish to get a job soon but I am not sure where yet. First on my agenda is to update my CV… collect documents… and ready myself for a fresh new start…

Resignation Blues

Tinokla — Fri, 22 May 2009 14:43:51 +0000

Tearful farewells pervaded the preschool lobby hours before we left. We have been OK… as if ready for the reality that will soon befall us… And then, that one final blow struck painfully and hurtfully… How could a fellow employee, whom I have worked with for the past 7 years utter such hateful words?

My co-preschool teacher just could not suppress the facebook conversation she had with this ‘supposedly’ loving and God-fearing individual. Listening to her story of what had transpired in that conversation, I could just imagine how infuriated she was at us… as if we did something so horrible to her…

Again, she stressed how upset the other people in the company were at us. Again, she emphasized that we have been bossy. Again, she blurted that most of the departments do not like us…

Well, guess what. We surveyed and asked. Somehow, if we have offended anybody in anyway, I am sure we did not intend it to be that way. Surprisingly, these people were wondering where that information originated… true there have been instances of possible miscommunication and arguments … but definitely, not enough to warrant ETERNAL CONDEMNATION…

All organizations experience conflicts. Management should do their best to pacify their people. Pacifying does not mean penetrating from the inside, and influencing the ‘others’ as if appearing concerned about their welfare… Using this strategy will further alienate the ‘accused’… depriving them of their only wish- to have a graceful and peaceful exit in a company they worked hard for… True enough… the outcome had been worst. More questions surfaced… there was uneasiness… Thankfully, instead of being swayed, these people felt sympathy for the accused…

I know I sound ‘mysterious’ but I want to leave the details be… I just hope that one day, everything works out the way everybody wants it to be… that some people, who are gifted at eying the frailties of other human beings would realize that they too are not perfect… only God is…

Last Day Thoughts

Tinokla — Fri, 22 May 2009 01:40:43 +0000

Today I bid goodbye to BWS… I woke up heavy hearted as the reality of it all is slowly and painfully, penetrating my being. No… I do not regret my decision. However, regardless of how firm I was, BWS had been like a family to me. Some people would say that what I did was cowardice… that I do not have the quality of sportsmanship in me… Well, honestly, what had triggered my urge to leave had been feelings of betrayal and incompetence… Betrayal because I did so much for this institution, yet it had to end this way… Incompetence because my sense of self worth was wounded…

But… as Joezhel would do in my shoes… he will leave everything with a smile… maybe even with humor. Like him, I will be packing my 7 year clutter with joy in my heart… I will be clearing my table with the hope of messing another one someday… I will be completing my clearance form with the optimism of signing a new employment contract soon… I will be bidding farewell to my friends with the expectation of meeting new ones in the future… Haaaay… the possibilities are endless…

In my heart… I am now OK… really… No more bitterness… just acceptance and excitement for the better days to come…

And the Saga continues…

Tinokla — Wed, 20 May 2009 16:19:26 +0000

After one last glance at my idol’s (aheheh) site… I finally found the courage to type my resignation letter and forward it to my boss. I wanted my letter to be informal and personal… maybe, when all is settled, I might just share it with you guys. Well, anyways, I sent the letter via email, which is, again, pretty unconventional. Then I found out that she is leaving in a little while so I asked my good pal Patty to tell her to read her email first. And so she did… actually, just the thought of her reading my letter brought chills to my bones. I was anxious and restless… I wanted to know her reaction… I wanted to know that everything is OK and that she would not storm out of her nook and shout obscenities at me… Thankfully, the first few hours after that dreadful submission were peaceful… I heard she went on with her appointment and everything seemed to be pretty normal.

Then, all of a sudden, Joy (a fellow ‘quitter’ hehehe), went to see me and told me the shocking (well, it was shocking initially heheh) news. Instead of May 30 being our last reporting day, she apparently announced that our last day shall be on Friday, May 22! Of course, I was alarmed… For one, I pondered on the idea that she must really be upset so she wants us to depart the premises as soon as we can… this is not a good thought for me because I do not want to leave this company with a heavy heart. I mean… come on… it has been my second home for the last 7 years… It’s not a good time to start burning bridges…

Well anyways, I went to see her… Surprisingly, she welcomed me warmly and asked me to get a chair… On her laptop screen was my letter. Hmmm… from the looks of it she seems OK. And she was, really… Anyway, we started to talk and I told her that Iwant to leave with the ‘good times’ in my heart. She said she isn’t upset… disappointed probably because of the fact that classes start in less than 3 weeks… But then we chatted for a while until finally, I said goodbye.

Even though the reason for our ‘expulsion’ hehehe had been somewhat clear to me, my thoughts linger on other possible explanations as to why she asked us to leave at an earlier date… Anyway, for my peace of mind, I chose to believe what she said… that’s easier and more bearable.

To Leave or not to Leave

Tinokla — Tue, 19 May 2009 14:16:55 +0000

After days of depression, anxiety, and stress, I am finally able to sit down and pay attention to my blogging. What had inspired me to get back to blogging? Well, in my skepticism to quit my dayjob, I came across this website http://www.jehzlau-concepts.com/2008/05/still-skeptical-in-quitting-my-day-job.html. Here is a witty fellow who had the nerve to inject humor into something as distressing as quitting your only means of livelihood.

Well, first and foremost, I have to admit that I enjoyed reading his article. Secondly (and perhaps more importantly), he had been successful in transforming my perspective regarding resignations… I am now more clear-headed… no more bitter thoughts and bitter feelings. I can bid goodbye to the job I have loved more than my life for 7 years now, and say hello to a bright tomorrow (sounds like Avon, huh..) Thanks to this blogger, I am… unbelievably happier…
Anyway, to make it sound like I have thoroughly planned this departure (which of course I did not…) I have tried to evaluate my financial capabilities to see if I have what it takes to survive in the coming days without a steady income (huhuhu…)
For one, I have like spent at least 20,000 pesos in the last month alone… the reason for this crazy splurging? Well… in order for me to counter the attacks of sadness, I came across ebay.ph…guess what? I had mistakenly assumed that depression can be cured by shopping nonsensically on ebay… Anyways, I have a lot of material things with me that I can probably sell back again in ebay when the going gets tough… So that’s already goodbye 20k…
Now I move on to an important point. My being employed as a teacher makes my children scholars in this reputable school. I had been planning to enroll my second child but this twist of fate called for second thoughts. For one, I cannot afford it! So, me and my husband decided to let my eldest stay in the school, and forego my second child’s education in the mean time… very sad really…
Third fact, I did not really prepare for this! I mean, if I do not do anything, I am going to declare bankruptcy in probably a month! This move is really going to be a tough one for me… But since I really really want to rest and probably get some peace of mind, I am willing to let everything go! What had strengthened my resolve to jump into unclear waters is my husband’s full support! I am really grateful to him because more than anything else, it has been my welfare that he’s mostly concerned about…
Other positive points are- I can go back to being a mom, especially to my 2 year old girl, I can scout for better jobs, and I can blog, blog, and blog!
In some ways… I feel kinda prepared… well, let’s see what happens…