Marriage And Family

3 Ways The Internet Can Help Your Marriage

2012-01-09T15:03:00.000-05:00

In today's technological world, people have realized their ability to use their creative skills in a completely new way. For example, the Internet alone has redefined the way the world interacts and shares information.

The Internet can also help people with their marriage. I'm sure this is the last thing you thought that the Internet could do. I mean, the Internet is just for blog nerds and social media junkies right? Oh! It's also for people who keep up with current trends and news. Certainly, the Internet can't help people with their marriage.

If you are a doubter, consider these three ways that the Internet can help your marriage.

1. Skype for long distance relationships

If you are one of the millions of people who are in a long distance relationship, then Skype is your answer. Skype is a free program that allows you to make video calls to other Skype users. Of course, there is a premium version that offers more features, but the free version is more than enough. You may be thinking that Skype won't work for you because you are using a cheap Internet service that doesn't have fast downloading speeds. That doesn't matter; Skype works for every kind of Internet service.

Use Skype to feel like you are right next to your love. There is no reason you can't see his or her face. Phone conversations are great, but you also need to see their facial expressions, as well.

2. Sappy love notes on Facebook

Over 800 million people have a Facebook account. There is a good chance that you and your loved one have an account, also. Use Facebook to create those mushy, lovely love letters. You know, the kind of letters you used to write him or her in high school. Getting these love notes in your inbox always makes your day a little better. Your loved one will appreciate that you took your time to write something special.

3. Video diaries

It can be hard to keep that love passion alive, especially in mature relationships. If you ever take your love on a date, make sure you document the moment. Take a video camera, or a digital camera with recording capabilities, with you. Once the night is over, upload the video to your Youtube account. Whenever you feel like your marriage hit a hard spot, watch those videos over and remember the fun times. Sometimes, all it takes is seeing how happy and how much fun the both of you had to rekindle that passion.

These are only three ways the Internet can help your marriage. Ultimately, your imagination and creativity are your limit. There are many ways you can utilize the vast World Wide Web to help you with your marriage. Regardless, the fact that you are actively trying to help your marriage shows that you are a good person with good intentions. Never lose that quality.

3 Phone Tips For Keeping The Romance Alive In Your Relationship

2011-12-20T14:08:00.000-05:00

Couples are always finding ways to keep their romance alive. Sometimes, the most unexpected methods work the best, and what is more unexpected than using a cell phone to keep love alive? Even better, almost everyone has a cell phone, since most phone companies offer free phones with new contracts. Indeed, there are many great ways to impress your spouse with a simple cell phone, but here are three of the best ways you can use a cell to keep the sparks sparking.

1. Send love notes in the form of a text

Both men and women love getting cheesy love notes. You can send these love notes to your partner in the form of a text. Now, you may be saying, "my phone only allows me to write a handful of words per text, and I write large love notes." In these instances, you can write your message in parts. When you are finished with one part, save that text in your drafts. Once you write all the parts, send the drafts one right after the other. Your spouse will get the love texts simultaneously.

2. Text them you're thinking of them

Your spouse wants to know that he or she is on your mind. You should always strive to text them to let them know that you are thinking of them. Just a simple text that says, "I'm thinking of you" is enough to keep love alive at times. Those words let your spouse know that you care, and if you certainly care, then shouldn't you let them know?

3. Send photos of what's happening in your day

Working can be tough for couples. If you work a full-time job, your spouse will probably spend their day missing you, wishing that you were there. If you send photos of what's happening during your day, it will help your spouse feel like they are with you. It also helps reassure your spouse that you are where you say you are, thus helping build trust.

Don't let your love slip out of your hands. There are always things you can do to keep love alive. Take these tips and start using them.

3 Reasons Why You Should Cook For Your Wife

2011-12-15T14:17:00.000-05:00

If you're like most guys, you probably know a few culinary tricks that you rarely get to use. You may be confident about your ability to make a mean omelet or grill a perfect steak, but you probably only show off your cooking skills a few times a year on special occasions. Your wife, on the other hand, likely turns out dozens of meals a month. There are some good reasons why you should take control of the spatula more often, however.

1. Women love to feel pampered.
You know it's true. Your wife may be a model of efficiency, but she still gets misty-eyed at the thought of being treated like royalty once in a while. Women also love it when you take time and put forth effort to make them happy. Cooking for your wife accomplishes both goals. Sweep your wife off her feet all over again by serving up a meal fit for your queen.

2. She finds you irresistible in an apron.
You probably learned from painful experience that women have different ideas about what constitutes romance than men do. Your wife is likely to be at her most romantic when she is relaxed and feels loved and cared for. There's no better way to make her feel all those things than to cook for her. It just might turn out to be one of the best nights the two of you have ever spent together.

3. The chef picks the menu.
Even the best cooks can fall into a rut sometimes. Your wife may not even realize that you can tell the day of the week just by the smells coming from the kitchen. If the only time you get to eat barbecued brisket is when the BBQ smokers and grills come out during the summer, cooking more often can give you the perfect excuse to serve it more often. When you cook, you get the chance to revisit old favorites and give new tastes a try. You may even inspire your wife to add a few new dishes to her repertoire.

Too often, men fall into the habit of thinking of cooking as something to do only on special occasions. Family meals are an integral part of a strong family's foundation, however, and cooking for your wife sends a clear and unambiguous message that you are committed to her and fully engaged in your life together. It's the truth, after all. Besides, you know how women dig that sort of thing.

Benefits Of Marriage In A Cancer Crisis

2011-11-27T22:15:00.002-05:00

There are many benefits to being married, such as having a person to rely on, care for, converse with, trust, relax with, and support. All these meanings wrapped up in one relationship; create a support system that nobody else can experience. Because of this, married individuals are more likely to beat colon cancer than those who are not married.

Colon cancer is a serious disease. Colon cancer has the ability to present in both men and women. It is presentable in people who are married and individuals who are single. It has affected millions of people each year. In 2008, an estimated 1.24 million new cases of colon cancer were clinically diagnosed. It is the fourth most common type of cancer in the United States that affects both men and women.

Studies show that married individuals who have colon cancer have an eighty-six percent chance of defeating it. That is a fourteen percent lower risk of dying. According to a study from BYU and Penn State University June 21, married couples show that they have a higher chance at surviving colon cancer than a single individual. This was based on a study of more than one hundred-twenty-five, colon patients.

Men and women are more likely to be encouraged to go to a doctor for regular checkups and colon exams if they are married than if they were not married. This is because they have a spouse that is there to remind them that it is very important for them to be getting this treatment. Married individuals are more likely to follow through with treatment because of the loved ones in their life. Because of this and a wonderful support system from their family, they are more likely to follow through with the test and treatment procedures. They are also more likely to pick up prescribed medications for the treatment from their local pharmacy, while single individuals would just go home and think they can get the medication at any time.

According to studies, married cancer patients usually take higher risks when it comes to their care for cancer. These risks include major surgery as well as the necessary treatment required for colon cancer. They tend to make these decisions because they have so much to live for. They have a partner and most times, they choose the higher risk options because they do not want to leave them behind.

Written by Lori Janeson. Check out Lori's Google+ profile.

The Average Mentality About Debt In America

2011-11-23T14:02:00.000-05:00

Most people would assume that debt is a terrible thing. However, recent studies conducted on average Americans suggest that being in debt is quickly becoming a normal way of life for many people. In a child's life, he will probably receive a talk from his parents about the importance of only using credit cards in case of an emergency. The parents may also tell their child that he should do everything he can to avoid debt. However, in this recent decade, that mindset has changed.

Indeed, being in debt is almost patriotic to some Americans. It has become a part of the American lifestyle, but not without consequence. Being in debt is still doing much to the average person's temper, like sending many people into anger management classes in Philadelphia, for example, because of creditor harassment and extra charges. However, most people are willing to accept a life in debt.

Most people recognize that they must first become in debt to start to build any kind of acceptable credit. However, others also recognize that this means being in debt for a very long time. Over 25 percent of Americans have a credit score below 599, a score that is nowhere near what is considered a good score.

One woman tried to live a life without credit cards and discovered that she was limited with her options. She discovered that she could not travel without first owning a credit card; she was even denied a cellphone plan. Other people discovered that they were able to receive higher credit limits and even take out mortgages as long as they paid their minimum payments.

It seems that banks are willing to reward responsible credit card holders with a higher credit limit. Of course, many banks are still hesitant to loan money to people with poor credit, though some are willing to loan money with high interest.

It seems that the American way is trending towards a lifestyle that was once greatly frowned upon. As the economy struggles to recover, millions of Americans are accepting their debt and, for some, even becoming proud of it. It is true that you must first be in debt to build credit. However, Americans should do the best they can to climb out of their debt hole.

How To Relax When Your Kids Are Driving You Crazy

2011-10-21T04:50:00.000-04:00

Parenthood is a state that comes with a divine experience in addition to all the screams and headaches and late nights sit ups and so on. It is true that children are cute and funny but they are naughty and painful too. It is very necessary for the parents, especially the mother to keep herself relaxed while dealing with her child. Relaxing while your child is driving you nuts seems to be impossible but following certain tips given below will definitely help you to relax and spend quality time with your child without frustration and helplessness:

1.   First of all you have to be very patient and disciplined. Children learn from their parents very soon. So, follow a routine. Do not give up too fast. To make your stubborn child listen to you will have to be consistent in giving efforts. Do not lose hope so easily. One day you will definitely achieve the skill of controlling the bad behaviour of your kids.

2.   Children need their parents’ attention quite often and when they do not get it they feel quite frustrated and do such kind of things which their parents do not like. So, give some time from your busy schedule to your children. Try to understand their needs and desires.

3.   Parents always want that their kids should behave like an adult. What they forget here is that kids do not have developed brain power and they cannot distinguish between good and bad. So, try to make them understand what is good and what is bad. Try to explain this to them through stories. As kids love listening to stories, this way can also be better utilized for spending quality time with your kids.

4.   Taking short naps with your child will definitely make you feel more relaxed. Moms often think to complete all the chores like laundry, cleaning the house or gardening while her kids are taking some sleep. Remember that work can be finished later. A powerful afternoon nap will let your frustration go away from you and when you get up you will feel more energetic to deal with your kids as well as your household chores.

5.   If your kids are behaving very badly and taking the house on storm then one way to stop them is to tell them to help you in some of your work. For example, you can tell your kids to help you in doing laundry by taking clothes from your bedroom to the washing machine or they can help you in gardening by watering the little plants. This way your kids will get engaged in some work and physical strain will tire them. Hence, they will not trouble you while eating and will also go to sleep soon making things better for you.

Shortly, we can say that relaxing while your kids are driving you crazy is not a difficult task. All you need is to apply some common sense and be patient while your efforts show some results. Children need care and love. Give them what they want but in a wise manner to make things easier for you.

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About the author: Rebecca is a blogger by profession. She loves writing on luxury and style. Beside this she is very particular about her health. She follows a strict regime to stay in shape.

People With Cancer Fatalism Have Lower Screening Rates

2011-10-12T20:04:00.001-04:00

Individuals who have a fatalistic outlook on cancer tend to be less likely to go for necessary screenings, a recent study revealed. What psychologists refer to as “cancer fatalism” actually has an effect on how people view their chances of surviving cancer if they are diagnosed.

People with low socioeconomic status are less likely to get colorectal cancer screenings, yet lack of health care, affordable drugs, or poor health care coverage are not the only reasons. According to the report, published in Cancer Epidemiology, Biomarkers & Prevention, a journal of the American Association for Cancer Research, even economically disadvantaged people with health care, such as those in the United Kingdom where cancer screening and treatment is free, are still less likely to get screened.

Cancer fatalism is the belief that cancer screenings will not help or that cancer will inevitably kill the patients even if they get treatment. As a result, those with lower socioeconomic status often do not go for fecal occult blood testing, a form of colorectal cancer screening even when they have affordable health care.

University of London psychology lecturer Anne Miles and her research team collected data from 529 adults, ages 60 to 69. The study’s surveys asked the participants a series of questions related to their income, their current perception of their own health, and their rate of cancer fatalism.

According to Miles, the findings strongly indicate that money is not the only issue at play. If psychologists can learn to better understand people’s thought process with regards to cancer, Miles believes cancer fatalism can be treated, helping convince those people who need to get screenings to do so.

The American Association for Cancer Research (AACR) is a professional organization committed to the prevention and cure of cancer. To accomplish its goals, the AACR supports research in biomedical science and fosters an environment where scientists can more quickly share new knowledge of prevention, diagnosis, and treatment. Its membership includes more than 33,000 researchers, supporters, health care professionals, and cancer survivors.

Written by Lori Janeson. Check out Lori's Google+ profile.

Self-Reliance For The Family

2011-09-23T18:41:00.000-04:00

***The following is a guest post for Marriage and Family by The Berkey Guy. If you are interested in prepping and you live in the Northwest, we hope that you will stop by and see him during the next Expo in Salt Lake City on October 7-8, 2011.***

This last weekend we attended the National Self-Reliance Organization’s Semi-annual Expo in Denver, Colorado. It was held at the National Western Complex and accommodated thousands of interested attendees, from near and far. We spoke with dozens of individuals and families who traveled from all over the United States and Canada in order to attend. One of the fascinating aspects of their travels was that they came from varied backgrounds and means. Their interests were also particular, ranging from the following reasons:

Greater urban & rural Self-Reliance
Strengthening their Food Storage & Water Filtration/Purification Preps
Attending the Expert Workshops including Dave Canterbury of the Discovery Channel’s hit show Dual Survival, The Survival Podcast‘s Jack Spirko, Doom & Bloom’s Dr. Bones & Nurse Amy, and many, many more!
Meeting with National Geographic and The Discovery Channel for possible T.V. appearances
To enjoy the company of many, many like-minded folk from all over the USA.

We thoroughly enjoyed meeting with so many of you and appreciate your support at the Expo and Online. We were happy to give away more than $2,000 worth of Berkey Water Purification Products as well as other preparedness items we carry. We showcased our newest addition, The Country Living Grain Mill and hundreds of adults and children were able to try their hand at milling hard-red wheat the easy way with that mill.
The most significant value of attending the Expo was our ability to connect and begin relationships with the attendees and the exhibitors, and to strengthen existing relationships with like-minded folk. Some of the exhibitors we really enjoyed were:

We will be attending the next Expo in Salt Lake City on October 7-8, 2011 at the South Towne Expo…Hope to see you there!!!

-The Berkey Guy

The Hypocrisy Of The Feminist Movement

2011-08-18T21:59:00.000-04:00

***The following is a guest post for Marriage and Family by Alisha Venetis, co-founder of The Prep Room - an online store specializing in emergency preparedness supplies.***

“You can be anything you want to be as a woman…except submissive”

Since Michele Bachmann stated that she submitted to her husband’s desire to go back to school for accounting, a firestorm of debate has started, as to what this idea of submission means.

On one side, you have your Christian conservative women who mostly understand what it means, biblically, for wives to submit to their husbands as the head of the household. On the other side, (the far left side) liberal women have all but asked for Michele’s burning at the stake, arguing that, by listening to her husband, she has somehow put the women’s liberal movement back to the stone ages.

I suspect that much of this controversy revolves around the fact that many women have a distorted understanding of what it means to submit to their husbands. Over the decades, society has done a great job of twisting the meaning of the word so that the concept of submitting to your husband has almost become synonymous with worshiping or being enslaved to one's husband.

The feminist movement has obliterated the concept of the man leading the family, to the point that most marriage vows do not contain this type of language anymore. You can hear feminist women, everywhere, boldly standing up and saying,” no one’s going to tell me what to do--not even my husband!” How wrong the feminists are and how the family unit has suffered for their prideful lies.

The idea of there only being one leader in the household, is not just biblical, it logical. You simply can't run a successful organization, of any type, with two people in charge. You'll never see a corporation with two CEOs, a major league baseball team with two head coaches, a nation with two presidents or a universe with two Gods. It just doesn't work.

In the case of marriage, if one person has not been designated as the leader, indecision over a situation can quickly lead to temporary paralysis, or even worse, a tearing apart of the marriage. When a husband and wife have different ideas as to which direction to go in, there are only three options; they go his way, her way or they go their separate ways. They can't go both ways. Ultimately, someone has to submit to the other's direction. In the case of marriage, God calls for the woman to be that person.

Women that believe in the ultimate authority of the God of the Bible understand what it means, that the husband is the head of their partnership. Submission is not demanded by the husband; it is willingly given. If it is demanded by the husband, it is no longer biblical submission, it is abuse.

Perhaps unintentionally, but the feminist movement has created many more questions for women than they have given answers. What used to be simple questions for women about dating or marriage are now conundrums. For example, “Do I let him pay for the meal or should I? Should I wait for him to open my car door or will it make me look weak? Can I call him or will that make me appear too aggressive? Do I work or do I stay home with the kids? Do I need to do what my husband asks?” These questions may have been asked in the past, but the answers may not have been as muddled as they are today.

The answers used to be clear,” Yes, he should pay and open the doors; it is a sign of respect. No, you wait for him to call you; it is a sign that you were raised to be courted and respectful of yourself. If you choose to have kids and the means to stay at home, you should, even if it means you have to make sacrifices to do so. There is no other job more important than raising the future generation; and no one can do it better than the child's mother.”

Part of being a God-honoring man means taking his call as a husband seriously. He understands God's law to love his wife as Christ loved the Church, (Christ loved the Church so much he ultimately died for it). If he does not take his role as the head of the household seriously the Bible says the husband will not have his prayers answered. The husband understands that, ultimately he will have to stand in front of God, explaining why the marriage ended and/or why he treated his wife so poorly.

When God was creating the world, the only time he said “this is not good” was when man was alone. The man needed a suitable helper and woman was man’s gift from God. Wives are to help their husbands in every way and be his equal (suitable). We do our husbands an equal disservice when we play a passive role in the marriage, just as much as when we try to overpower them.

The husband is to be the head of the household spiritually and physically. The husband must step up and not leave it to the wife to take over. Part of the sin punishment for Adam, and ultimately every man, was his twisted desire to rule over the wife and failing by either abusing that power or by refusing to take it seriously. For Eve, and every woman thereafter, part of the sin punishment was the twisted desire to rule over our husbands, often by believing he is too incompetent to lead a family.

When a decision needs to be made, the husband is to be the ultimate authority, only after listening and praying with his helper wife. Jesus submitted to God’s will after he went to God with his prayers. God and Jesus worked in perfect union, each knowing that the other had nothing but the other's best interest in mind. That is the union that a husband and wife should emulate.

We, as wives, are called to submit to our husband’s leadership, just like Christ submitted to God. Ultimately, our husbands are called to love us like Christ loved the Church. The key ingredient for this to work perfectly is the husband’s role to truly love his wife, which is so infinitely harder than the wives role to submit. However, in the end, submission becomes the manifestation of the wife’s love for her husband. The truth is, how hard is it to submit to love? This is what the feminist movement failed to realize. By submitting to love, there is no greater display of our femininity. The feminist movement has turned this beautiful marriage relationship on it head and, in turn, has left women’s heads spinning.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
(1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

Keeping The Government Out Of The Garden

2011-07-24T02:07:00.000-04:00

Keeping The Government Out Of The Garden

By Barbara Fix

Many kept a wary eye on Bill S.510 and were cautiously relieved when it looked like the Bill was quashed by the something extra attached to it-new taxes. That maneuver was against the rules. But nothing ventured, nothing gained...

Some remained diligent even though it appeared the Food Safety Act Bill had died a natural death. They were right to practice due diligence! The bill was tucked away in a nearly impossible to fail Veteran's benefits bill. Of course it did! What heartless person on the hill would consider voting down a bill that would negatively impact our brave men who were half way around the globe fighting a war?
It didn't hurt when the sponsors of the bill voted on it in the dead of night.
That's been a trick used for quite some time now that rarely fails.

If you haven't heard of S.510, the Food Safety Act Bill, let me explain. Many were warning of the dire potential with this bill, namely control of small organic growers. The concern was these growers would be forced to carry exorbitant insurance which would put them out of business. Another concern was handing the government the newfound ability to regulate sales of organically grown fruits and vegetables by regulating whom a grower can sell to.

Let's investigate that.

You're visiting your son in Napa valley. You pass a fruit stand that has the most succulent, red cherries on display. You turn in to their lot, grab your pocket book to fish out a $10 bill, and climb out of your rental car to approach the vendor.

"I'll take two pounds of your organic cherries, please,” You say.

"Of coarse," replies the balding man. "May I see you ID, please?"

You look to your hand to be sure you're still clasping the $10 bill you grabbed form your wallet. Yep, the $10 was there, clearly viable.

"I'm paying with cash," you say kindly. Maybe the poor guy'd gotten too much sun out in the back 40 that morning...

"You don't understand. The Food Safety Act requires that I only sell to folks within a 100 mile radius. With purchases, I need to write down ID and turn it in with my monthly report," he explains with a frown.

"But I live in Rhode Island..."

"Wished I could sell 'em to you, but I have to follow the rules," says the man, his frown now creasing his weathered face.

Your small transaction for a simple bag of cherries that failed is now in the hands of yet another new government entity.

But what if it got worse?

Many who watchdog the inroads made into our private business, like putting food on the table, are concerned the Food Safety Act Bill Act has the potential to control heirloom and heritage seed sales and what we plant in our gardens. Apparently, the brave folks in Sedgwick Main are believers!

They recently passed an ordinance that enforced their God given right to produce, process, sell, purchase and consume local foods to their choosing, including state and federally regulated foods like raw milk.

Other towns are looking into doing something similar to protect the sovereignty of their food. Should this take off, it will send a clear message to the Hill that as a people, we intend to keep the right to grow what we want, buy what we want, and eat what we want without having the government act as our caretakers.

If there was an unexpected emergency, do you have a 72-hour emergency kit in your car that will get you home safely? And when you arrive is there enough food, water and medical supplies to see you and your loved ones past a short-term or long-term crisis? If the answer is no, Survival Diva offers common sense, drama-free advice on bullets, bandages and food storage that won't break the bank!

http://www.survivaldiva.com/index.html

Survival Diva Available for E-Book Download $3.95

Join the fun at Survival Diva blog for more heads-up on current events and budget-saving advice on food storage and all things preparedness related http://www.survivaldiva.com/

Hundreds And Hundreds Of Pentagon Employees Purchased Dirty Child Pictures And Haven't Been Penalized

2011-01-12T16:01:00.000-05:00

You have got to watch the CNN report posted below. CNN is reporting that the U.S. Department of Defense is acknowledging that its investigators failed to check thoroughly to see whether or not its employees were on a list of suspected purchasers of dirty child pictures. In fact, it has now come out that there could be thousands of individuals still working for the Pentagon that have purchased these materials and that government investigators have been sitting on this information for years....

How sick is our country becoming? The truth is that it is becoming more difficult than ever to maintain a Christian marriage and raise a Christian family in a society that is absolutely soaking with sin.

Sadly, we all probably underestimate the amount of sin that is going on out there today. Moral depravity is absolutely rampant in our communities today, and it is getting worse every single year.

But the Scriptures warned us that this would happen in the last days. In 2 Timothy chapter 3, it tells us the following....

This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.

Doesn't that sound just like today?

Unfortunately, wickedness is only going to increase even more until Yahshua (Jesus) returns to this earth.

So buckle up because it is going to be a bumpy ride.

For much more on the last days, we encourage you to check out the following books....

*Apollyon Rising 2012: The Lost Symbol Found and the Final Mystery of the Great Seal Revealed

*The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Last Days

In addition, if you enjoy this blog, you may find some of our other websites about the last days very interesting....

-Last Days

-Shofar

-The Antichrist

-The Debt

-The End Of The World

Help You Make It To Your Flight - A Parody Of The New Airport Security Procedures

2010-12-21T15:27:00.000-05:00

Have you been through the new airport security procedures yet? If so, what do you think about them? Did anyone in your family have to be subjected to the new "enhanced pat-downs"? The truth is that there are really good reasons why so many Americans are getting so angry about these new security procedures. If you want to get on an airplane in the United States today, you either have to allow gawking security officials look at your completely exposed body using the new full body security scanners, or you have to let allow a security official to grope and feel up every inch of your body. Yes, including "those" parts. You may not object to this kind of search, but how would you feel about your wife or teenage daughter or young son being touched on the private areas by complete strangers?

Fortunately, many people are now speaking out about this outrage. Some Americans are even using comedy and humor to fight back. For example, the video posted below is a great parody but it also makes some very serious points. The video was produced by Buck Howdy and it is entitled "Help You Make It To Your Flight". It is a takeoff on Kris Kristofferson's classic hit "Help Me Make It Through The Night". Howdy's "revised lyrics" are so hilarious that more than two million people have watched it so far on YouTube.

If you have not seen this yet, you have got to check it out....

The full lyrics of "Help You Make it to Your Flight" are posted below....

Take the ribbon from your hair
Shake it loose and let it fall
Leave your shoes right over there
Now get up against the wall

I'll run my hands inside your thighs
Up your legs and out of sight!
But you can trust the TSA
To help you make it to your flight

We don't profile that'd be wrong
Just ask the ACLU
We'd rather check your nooks and crannies
Every inch of you

Got no life except my job
But I don't mind it's all right
I get to grope you legally
If you want to take a flight

This badge and uniform we wear
Might look like a rent a cop
But your life is in our hands
We like it that way, especially if you're hot

Awful lonely being me
No girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife
So let me squeeze you, oooh, right there
If you want to take a flight

You can trust the TSA
You'll be in our dreams tonight

It is good to see the American people standing up like this. We should not have to be sexually groped before we get on an airplane.

If you want to send a message that you do not like to be groped by TSA agents or anyone else, then we would encourage you to check out the new line of "Don't Touch My Junk" clothing available on Amazon.com.

In addition, to keep up with the latest on this scandal along with all of the other news of the day we encourage you to check out some of our other websites....

*Truth

*End Of The World

*Mysteries Of The World

*The Debt

Hundreds Ride To Support The Patriotism Of 13-Year-Old Cody Alicea

2010-11-16T14:13:00.000-05:00

On Monday, 13-year-old Cody Alicea had a day that he will never forget. Cody made headlines around the world recently when an official at Denair Middle School ordered him to take down the American flag on the back of his bike while he was on school property. The school official was concerned that other students would be offended by the American flag.

Well, you can only imagine what happened once the national media got a hold of that story. A 13-year-old kid that can't ride his bike to school with an American flag?

The national outrage was justifiable and the outpouring of support for Cody was beyond what anyone could imagine.

As Cody rode his bike to school on Monday, not only was his family there, but he was escorted by hundreds of other bikes and motorcycles. After arriving at school, the news media was there to cover the whole thing and Cody and his patriotic escort recited the Pledge of Allegiance and the National Anthem. It was a very, very emotional day for everyone involved, and it showed that there are still some Americans out there that are willing to stand up for the American flag.

Posted below is a video news report about Monday's extraordinary events....

Fortunately, Cody's story has a very happy ending. The school has changed its mind and now Cody can ride to school every day proudly displaying his American flag.

So what do you think about Cody's story? Feel free to leave a comment below.

Fortunately, patriotism is coming back into style. A great resource on patriotism to share with your family is The American Patriot's Almanac: Daily Readings on America by William J. Bennett.

For much more on the latest news and events shaping America today, we encourage you to check out some of our other websites....

*The Debt

*The Truth

*Foreclosure Help

*The End Of The World

Sweetest Day 2010

2010-10-15T15:22:00.000-04:00

Are you ready for Sweetest Day 2010? There is a good chance that you have probably never even heard of this incredibly obscure holiday. So when is Sweetest Day 2010? Well, it turns out that it falls on October 16th this year. So what exactly are we supposed to be celebrating? The "official website" for this holiday describes it the following way....

"Sweetest Day is celebrated each year on the third Saturday of October. Although often thought of by many as a second Valentine’s Day, Sweetest Day is actually a day meant to celebrate all the people who make your life special. It’s an occasion to make someone happy, a chance to celebrate and give gifts to relatives, friends, and associates.

Sweetest Day was founded around 1922 in Cleveland, Ohio by Herbert Birch Kingston who was a local candy company employee. Kingston sought to bring cheer and some happiness to the lives of those who were often forgotten. With the help of his friends, he began distributing candy and small gifts to children living in orphanages, those stricken with illness or disabilities, shut-ins, and others who were forgotten."

So basically we are supposed to be nice to everyone.

But shouldn't we be doing that every day?

The truth is that every day is a good day to celebrate the people that make our lives special. Every day is a good day to focus on marriage and family. Every day is a good day to try to love others more.

So please feel free to celebrate Sweetest Day 2010, but don't forget to be sweet and loving on all of the other days of the year too.

If you are looking for a gift to give a loved one on Sweetest Day 2010, Amazon.com actually has a really wide selection of gifts available for this holiday.

In addition, we would very much encourage you to check out our other gift websites....

Unique Gift Ideas

Movie Memorabilia

Purses And Handbags

Cat Gifts

Why Are There No Jobs? It Is Because The United States Is Being Deindustrialized On Purpose

2010-09-26T19:18:00.000-04:00

Millions upon millions of Americans have lost their jobs in the last few years. Millions upon millions of Americans have lost their homes or have gone bankrupt. Millions upon millions of Americans are trying desperately to hold their marriage and family together.

But even though millions of Americans are suffering tremendously right now, most of them have absolutely no idea that all of this has been planned.

That's right.

There are some very rich and very powerful people that wish to see the United States deindustrialized on purpose.

If you don't believe this, just check out the quotes below....

*****

“If we don’t overthrow capitalism, we don’t have a chance of
saving the world ecologically. I think it is possible to have
an ecologically sound society under socialism. I don’t think it is possible under capitalism”

- Judi Bari,
principal organizer of Earth First!

*****

“Isn’t the only hope for the planet that the
industrialized civilizations collapse?
Isn’t it our responsiblity to bring that about?”

- Maurice Strong,
founder of the UN Environment Program

*****

“A massive campaign must be launched to de-develop the
United States. De-development means bringing our
economic system into line with the realities of
ecology and the world resource situation.”

- Paul Ehrlich,
Professor of Population Studies

*****

“The only hope for the world is to make sure there is not another
United States. We can’t let other countries have the same
number of cars, the amount of industrialization, we have in the US.
We have to stop these Third World countries right where they are.”

- Michael Oppenheimer,
Environmental Defense Fund

*****

“Global Sustainability requires the deliberate quest of poverty,
reduced resource consumption and set levels of mortality control.”

- Professor Maurice King

*****

“We must make this an insecure and inhospitable place
for capitalists and their projects. We must reclaim the roads and
plowed land, halt dam construction, tear down existing dams,
free shackled rivers and return to wilderness
millions of acres of presently settled land.”

- David Foreman,
co-founder of Earth First!

*****

“Complex technology of any sort is an assault on
human dignity. It would be little short of disastrous for us to
discover a source of clean, cheap, abundant energy,
because of what we might do with it.”

- Amory Lovins, Rocky Mountain Institute

*****

The following are some of the books that we are recommending for our readers this month....

#1 Unholy Communion: The Alien Abduction Phenomenon Where It Originates And How It Stops

#2 Apollyon Rising 2012: The Lost Symbol Found and the Final Mystery of the Great Seal Revealed

#3 Cosmic Codes: Hidden Messages From the Edge of Eternity

We also encourage you to check out some of our other websites....

*Truth

*Personal Security

*Cat Gifts

*Emergency Food

*The End Of The World

Will Our Children Grow Up In An America That Is Increasingly Islamic?

2010-08-30T12:26:00.000-04:00

Once upon a time, people would speak of America as a "Christian nation". But is that anywhere even close to true anymore? Sure, the majority of Americans still consider themselves to have a "Christian" label, but the percentage of people in the United States who identify themselves as Christians is falling rapidly, and other religions are experiencing tremendous growth.

Take Islam for example. The controversy over the "ground zero mosque" in New York City is just the latest example of how prominent Islam has become in America. The truth is that the number of mosques in America has increased by more than 50 percent over the last ten years.

Not only that, but Barack Obama actually recently hosted an iftar — the special evening meal observed during Ramadan — on a Friday night in the White House dining room.

In fact, many are questioning why Barack Obama keeps saying so many good things about Islam, and yet insists on saying so many bad things about Christianity.

But Islam is not that only religion that is growing in America. Wicca, paganism, witchcraft, Buddhism and a vast array of New Age cults are experiencing explosive growth.

The reality is that it is not going to get any easier to maintain a godly marriage and family in America. False religions are all around us now and their influence is growing.

During times like these, it will be imperative for all of us to draw closer to God.

For much more on the threat that radical Islam poses around the world, we encourage you to check out "Son of Hamas: A Gripping Account of Terror, Betrayal, Political Intrigue, and Unthinkable Choices".

In addition, for some really solid Bible teaching we encourage you to check out our new website: What Does The Bible Say?

Economic Problems Causing Marriage And Family Problems Across The United States

2010-07-26T15:31:00.000-04:00

A reader on one of our other websites, The American Dream, recently emailed us a report about what he witnessed during a recent vacation in Massachusetts. Unfortunately, scenes like what he describes are being repeated across the United States as the economy crumbles. Millions of marriges and families are at the breaking point right now as they deal with very difficult economic circumstances. If you have a similar report, please leave it as a comment at the end of the article....

-----

It had been about five years since we were last here. As we drove the two miles down on North Main Street towards an Osterville restaurant, I observed a distressing sign (or actually MANY signs). The high-end houses and estates-NOT beach houses or bungalows- were up for sale. The number of FOR SALE signs (16 of them!) in just two miles was very unusual for this area and for its type of residents; full time residence homes with expensive lush green yards and some with wrought iron security fencing. The preeminent high end realtor-Sotheby’s International Realty- was found amongst the majority of properties listed on this two mile street. Only one property listed for sale was a newly build house and one other was a business for sale (a financial firm office building). But, as we explored other streets and roadways in the Hyannis, Barnstable, Centerville area, many other realtor signs or closed businesses were present. One facility up for sale that was not far from our hotel was a time share housing complex lying just across the street from the beach. Speaking of hotels; most that we observed on the busy Route 28 and Route 6 highways, were displaying VACANCY signs; unusual for the peak vacation season in mid-July.These views spoke reams to me. The finances of many-upper class- to middle class- were suffering amidst this “Great Recession” (aka “Great Depression”). The tax base and financial base were crumbling in synchrony with the financial problems experienced across the state of Massachusetts. Here, the casualties were the many hard working individuals and the related industries and businesses dependent on not merely the tourist vacation dollars, but the demand for local arts, seafood industries, and local cuisines.Sadly, this is one report of many across our nation; but, seeing it close up makes me think that the slowing of the economy (or decent into the abyss-if you wish) is merely one aspect of this sad vacation scene. Rather, for high income and middle class residents, it is the loss of property value; the collapse of bank loans and liquidation at cut rate prices of long time family held properties and business assets; as well as the loss of value of locally produced products and goods as the consumer (or tourist) demand evaporates. Many will suffer as the economy continues to contract and the hard earned labors and properties will evaporate into the vacuum of economic misery.

Food for thought.

Lawrence

Barack Obama And The National Day Of Prayer

2010-06-09T13:40:00.000-04:00

The following message was emailed to us recently, and we thought that we would share it with all of you. The truth is that Christian values are under attack in this nation as never before. Trying to maintain a godly Christian marriage and family in this environment is going to become increasingly difficult to do. The United States of America is undergoing radical "change", and if the American people don't start standing up, the America that we all knew and loved will be gone forever....

******************************************

In 1952 President Truman established one day a year as a "National Day of Prayer."

In 1988 President Reagan designated the First Thursday in May of each year as the National Day of Prayer.

In June 2007 (then) Presidential Candidate Barack Obama declared that the USA Was no longer a Christian nation.

---------------------------------------------------------------

This year Barack Obama canceled the 21st annual National Day of Prayer ceremony at the White House under the ruse of "not wanting to offend anyone"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

On September 25, 2009 from 4 am until 7 PM, a National Day of Prayer for the Muslim religion was Held on Capitol Hill, Beside the White House.

There were over 50,000 Muslims that Day in D.C.

I guess it Doesn't matter if "Christians" Are offended by this event -
We obviously Don't count as "anyone" Anymore.

2 Chronicles 7:14....

"If my people, Who are called by my Name,
Will humble themselves And pray,
And seek my face, and Turn from their Wicked ways,
Then will I hear from Heaven
And will forgive their Sin and will heal Their land."

Maybe someone, somehow can figure out a way to put America back on the map as it was when we were growing up, a safe place to live, and by The Ten Commandments and Pledge of Allegiance.

The 2 Year Old Boy Who Is A Football Expert

2010-05-14T21:08:00.000-04:00

The video posted below is one of the funniest videos that we have seen in a long, long time. It contains footage of a 2 year old boy named Ben who can name all of the teams in the NFL by just looking at their helmets.

Not only that, Ben has been taught some other very interesting things about teams in the NFL. For example, to Ben the Cowboys are actually "the Cowgirls", the Chargers are "one and done", and the Vikings are "whiny crybabies".

But what is the point of having a marriage and family if you can't teach your kid about football?....

The Blended Family – Hopes, Fears, and Tasks

2010-04-25T16:45:00.000-04:00

The Blended Family – Hopes, Fears, and Tasks by Beth Strong, MA, LPC

Hope springs eternal, and there’s nowhere that’s more true than a couple taking the leap of faith into a second marriage. To all those who dare to hope that their second marriage (or third, or fourth) will be better than the last, I say congratulations and good luck! It takes a lot of courage to open your heart to try again! But also, take heed: you’ll have a much better chance of success if you follow some very important guidelines, particularly if either of you have children.

Let’s face it: relationships can be a challenge. Any long term relationship between two people moves through a set of predictable and important stages, each stage bringing something rich and healing to the partners, and each stage filled with snags and potholes along the way, any one of which can capsize a relationship. In a first marriage, these developmental stages usually start out in the open – that is, without the complications of children. For instance, most couples usually go through an initial period of intense closeness and bonding, when friends complain that they don’t see you any more, and nothing seems more important or exciting than spending time with your new beloved. This is a wonderful and exciting time, and actually serves to build a strong foundation for a long term relationship. We in the field of couples counseling hope to see that a couple has been able to spend as much as two or three years in this honeymoon period. It’s kind of like putting down a very big deposit on a new home: you are investing a lot of equity in the relationship, so that when things get tough – and they will get tough – you both have a rich and full memory bank of good times, being in love, and knowing that the relationship is important to you both, to draw from. These rich memories give us the fortitude and determination to put effort into the relationship when it’s most needed.

Couples who already have children from a former relationship before they meet each other don’t have the luxury of years of time where it is “just us.” They hit the ground running, and moving in together, a challenging time for many couples, can feel like they’ve just been hired to run a company when they feel like they’re still in high school.

The Pitfalls – And What to Do About Them

Unrealistic Expectations: Parents Hope, Children Fear

If you have been in a marriage (throughout this article, the reference to marriage will always include any form of long-term committed relationship, particularly if you have lived together, including same-sex marriages) that ended, whether by divorce or the death of a spouse, you probably know how hard it is to overcome the dread of thinking you could go through it again. Most people I counsel who are going through a divorce say they can’t even imagine dating, and have terrible fears about daring to trust and become vulnerable to another person again.

But, time does heal, and remarriages are evidence of the hope that marks us as human beings. A funny thing happens when we fall in love: we lose some of our take on reality. Not only are we starry-eyed for our new love, we are starry-eyed about a future with our new love. Don’t feel bad – this is normal. But it sure helps to know what the expectations are, so we don’t feel so horrible – like we’ve failed yet again – when things don’t pan out the way we expect them to.

Great Expectations, Just Not Realistic

Here are just some of the expectations we as parents unwittingly bring to a second marriage:

- love will conquer all

- your children will love your new spouse, or even like them, instantly

- your partner’s children will appreciate all the things you do for them as a step-parent, and your partner will appreciate all your help in raising them

- that this marriage will be much better than the last one that failed

- for a better life

- that everyone will get along

- that your new spouse will make parenting easier – some even expect the new spouse to be the new nanny – the “Mary Poppins Myth”

- that the new marriage will automatically create the structure of the nuclear family, that you will be in a “real family” after all

- that your partner’s ex, and the ex’s family, will just go away. “I will have my new husband/wife all to myself.”

- that you as new spouse / step-parent will have an equal vote in the matters of the family

Of these expectations, I find the most common mistake that new step-parents make is in expecting these “new” kids to automatically love them. For the most part, it just doesn’t happen that way. The greatest gift you can give to your new blended family is to give the children plenty of time – even a year or two – to figure out that you’re safe, worthwhile, and then, maybe even likeable. But of course, that will only happen if it’s true.

Children Have Hopes Too, But Also Have More Fears

Children in blended families have expectations too, although they tend to be more realistic about not being in love with your new partner as much or as quickly as you are. But they have a lot to adjust to, much more than most parents realize.

- children hope to be happier in a stable family, in both emotional and tangible ways: more fun at family celebrations than when mom or dad was single. Less stress for mom or dad because they have found someone to share their difficulties with. And they hope to benefit from there being more money, more presents on their birthdays and holidays, maybe bigger TV’s in the living room. Kids are kids.

- they assume their biological parent will be just as doting on them as they were when they were single, but fear they will lose their parent to the new spouse

- they fear they will lose attention from mom or dad, who now has to tend to step-siblings and a more complicated family life. These fears come from the “Wicked Step-Mother Myth.” No one sees themselves as the wicked stepmother, but most of us see ourselves as Cinderella.

- they fear the new step-parent will disapprove of them simply for existing, and be a harsh disciplinarian. Even if the step-parent is not, the child may perceive him or her to be overly harsh, overly disapproving, since there isn’t as much of a counterpoint in the deep abiding love that comes with being a biological parent.

- they fear having to share their new lives with the unknown step-siblings: have to share a room, time with mom, mom’s loyalties, available money for college tuition or special trips, even inheritances.

- they fear losing contact with the non-custodial parent, especially if they allow themselves to get close to their new step-parent. They are very afraid of hurting the non-residential parent’s feelings. They may also fear having to live in two homes, and worry a lot about the parent they aren’t with when they are gone.

- children fear getting close to their new step-parent only to find that mom or dad will break up with them, too, initiating yet another devastating loss and feelings of abandonment. Kids desperately need to know they can attach to a parental figure and be safe from abandonment or neglect. Under their wariness of the new step-parent, there is often a longing to trust.

- children often hold on to the hope and even expectation that Mom and Dad will someday reunite. This is true even after one or both parents have remarried – young children can imagine that all of you – Mom, Dad, and Step-Parent, will live in one house happily ever after. Even older children, and even adult children, often long for the reunification of their biological parents.

Dealing With Expectations, Hopes and Fears – the Best Prevention

There’s no question hope is a good thing. It’s what keeps us going and motivates us to create better lives. The only trouble is when our hopes are misguided, unrealistic, and unexpressed. Too often they turn into expectations and just set us up for disappointment. After one failed marriage, disappointment too often makes a person feel they not only failed again, but that they are a failure. But such a tragic loss can be prevented by knowing what to expect.

It’s always smart to sit down with your partner and discuss as many of your expectations and assumptions as possible about family life (feel free to borrow from the list above.) It’s also a good question to ask of yourself and each other when problems do arise: what are the expectations I’ve brought to the situation? Often we expect too much, or we expect our partner to know what our own expectations are, to read our minds. They don’t, and they can’t. Even if they do know our hopes, even our assumptions, that doesn’t mean they can fulfill them, or that it’s even their job to make us happy. Keep in mind that building a strong and happy blended family is a very difficult task at best, and perhaps try to put your hopes on an extended time line. Know that each of these developments might be possible, but they will most undoubtedly take longer than you’d like. That they don’t just happen, but need our skills and patience to bring them about.

It’s also important to spend time alone with your biological children, and help them talk about their hopes and fears. If you can’t get yourself out of the way (i.e. you hope so desperately that they will love your spouse that you can’t stand it that they don’t yet like her or him) then support your child in having someone else to talk with – a counselor or another adult that they trust. It’s best if they can talk with you and tell you their fears, but remember they might be as afraid of telling you as they are of losing you. Children often resolve their issues easily once they know someone is listening, and this can prevent a lot of difficult behavior along the way.

Resentment and Jealousy – The Insider / Outsider Syndrome

No one wants to believe they enter into a new marriage only to feel excluded once the children become a part of the relationship. Yet this is one of the most predictable stages that occurs in blended families. The task of the new couple is to learn to create a sense of togetherness – to build on activities that bring teamwork and a sense of accomplishment for the team, for the two adults. While you have a ready-made set of challenges by virtue of the very existence of the children one or both of you brought to the marriage, this is a very difficult challenge to meet, especially as the first challenge in the marriage, because you have the task not just for you as a couple but for you as an extended family. When it doesn’t happen, instead of feeling like a happy, well-unified family, almost everyone feels like an outsider.

The step-parent feels like an outsider because they are just joining a team (biological parent and her or his kids) that has been going strong for years. There are hundreds of “inside jokes,” secret non-verbal communication that has developed naturally between parent and child, between siblings, and lots of subtle references made about people who are known only to the biological family. The step-parent is also not yet seen as an authority figure, a true parental disciplinarian, and is often undermined by the biological parent. This makes the step-parent feel like there is no place for them, and they often retreat with the attitude of Why bother?

The child or children often feel like outsiders of the new love affair between the biological parent and the new step-parent. If a child has become the subject of shared custody with both biological parents, and spend roughly equal time with both biological parents, they often don’t have a primary home. After a week at Dad’s, coming back to Mom and Step-Dad can make the child feel like he or she is “just visiting.” There’s a certain hidden luxury for couples whose children spend time with the divorced parent in that they get regular time off from parenting, and can enjoy a semblance of “married without children” time together. They can get close again, and recharge their batteries. But when the children come back, it can feel like they are intruding on the romantic time of the new couple. There are changes in the household they haven’t been a part of, even if it’s as simple as a housecleaning. And while the parents are adjusting to the children being back, sensitive kids will pick up that they have just interrupted something, as if you are smoothing out your clothes from an intimate moment.

If both partners have children and one set of kids lives with another parent and “visits” the other parent who is now in a new marriage, the “visiting children” feel like outsiders to the new nuclear family. As a child I visited my Dad in Germany, where he lived for 19 years with his second wife and two children from their marriage. I hardly knew my dad, let alone his second wife and my half-brother and half-sister. While they were very welcoming and loving, and accepted me readily into their “tribe,” there was no question who the new person was. I felt like a stranger in my dad’s home. After my mother remarried, her second husband’s two children, who lived with their mother, would visit occasionally, until they were old enough to choose on their own not to come anymore. They felt so unwelcomed by my mother, and even their father (my step-father) that it was painful to be with us. My step-brother told me much later that he thought we – my mother and sisters, were his father’s “real family,” while he and his sister, my step-father’s “real kids,” were the result of a big mistake. I had had exactly the same feeling about my relationship with my father and his second family. Another example is when a step-parent has bonded so well with his new family that the new set of children, whether stepchildren or biological children with the new spouse, trump the children from the former marriage. This plays out at important family functions, where the biological children play no part – even at the parent’s funeral.

The only one who doesn’t feel like the outsider in this family structure is the biological parent. Far from having the “easy role,” they must play the mediator, and often feel terribly torn between children and spouse. Most of the responsibility of making the new family structure work seems to fall on their shoulders. Often it’s easier for the biological parent to maintain the single-parent role with their kids; as if the parent just happens to have a live-in boyfriend / girlfriend, even once they are married. The continuing challenge of keeping each side of the equation – kids and spouse – happy is like walking a tightrope. Some will come to the task, exhausting as it is, and keep trying to cultivate a relationship between spouse and children. Some will give up when it seems like the two sides will never meet. Some biological parents, often the father, will actually pull away from one side or the other – his kids or his wife – because trying to integrate them is too hard. This is sad because it can lead to defeat of the marriage, and no one wins.

The tug of war is even more compounded when one or both ex-spouses are co-parenting their children. That ex-spouse usually comes with his or her family, with whom the biological parent must at least cooperate for the sake of the children. If both partners of the new marriage have children and an ex-spouse who co-parents, this new marriage must balance relationships and in-laws in multiple directions!

From Lonely Outsider to “Doh-Si-Doh”: Finding the Rhythm of the Dance

There’s no way that everybody will feel central to the family all the time. The task is to make it normal for everyone to be in a dance with each other, and to make the dance fun. Another essential task of a marriage is for the couple to become comfortable with each other’s separateness, or individuation – following the call of their own life development. This can be a stumbling block for many couples who resist the shift away from an early symbiotic closeness where everything they do is together. However, making this shift is essential for a successful marriage. It will also help tremendously in countering insecurities when jealousies between children and spouses arise. In essence, it’s about finding the balance where everyone needs the biological parent – the hub of the family – just a little bit less, and hopefully begin to interact with each other – step-parent and step-children, step-siblings with each other – more and more.

Step-parents can be creative about ways to connect with their new spouse’s kids. It’s a good idea for parents to discuss how the step-parent can be more involved, from attending parent/teacher conferences at school to teaching a child a skill the step-parent can do, attending basketball games together, or just taking the time to listen to the child’s telling of their day. I’ve found that when kids don’t open up right away, sometimes just hanging out in the same room, without the TV on, gives rise to conversation. And conversation gives rise to, well, finding out things about your kids. By the way, the challenge of spending non-TV time together with kids is not limited to blended families – everybody struggles with this. The first thing to do is turn off the TV, then look around for a fun way to get out of the house – together.

Balance of Power, Not Power Struggle

Not only is there a challenge in balancing alliances and keeping everyone happy. There’s often a tug of war for power.

Often in a divorce suit one parent is hoping to have more control over their children’s lives than the other parent. However, more and more often, both parents share joint custody, which means both parents have to communicate in decision-making for their kids. This is troublesome enough, but it can also lead to confusion for the new step-parent: just how involved should the new step-parent be?

A new step-parent has a difficult role to fill: is he or she a parent, a friend, a baby-sitter, or a mere adult who happens to share living space? The unfortunate side-effect to not knowing the answer to this question is that the child or children often end up with too much power. Instead of the parents acting as a team, children learn they can pit one parent against the other. They do this in biological nuclear families, but they do it even more in blended families. Children can manipulate their biological parent to feel guilty (it’s an easy place to go – parents usually feel guilty already for a divorce) for not giving them what they want. A biological parent feels uneasy about the new step-parent’s style of giving discipline, so they step in to “save” the child. The new step-parent loses their power, and the child learns he or she can get away with just about anything.

Sometimes a new step-parent will feel they have to make up for a deficit in a former spouse’s shortcomings as a parent, and “straighten the kids up.” This usually meets with defeat, and resentment on all ends. Maybe the “corrective” parenting style of a step-parent can be effective in time, but only after an initial relationship-building period has occurred, establishing a strong sense of respect and acceptance on both sides. This can and usually does take years. Until then, the step-parent is best situated to remain a firm and friendly authority figure who supports the biological parent’s role.

It is important that neither the biological parent nor the step-parent give up their role as the responsible adult in the house. In time the children will find comfort rather than resentment in the structure that you uphold. Keep in mind an interesting piece of research about children and their need for boundaries: Researchers observed children playing in a back yard. In the first case the yard was open to the neighborhood, no fence or closure. The children played together huddled close to each other and close to the house. In the next case the children played in the same size yard, this time with a secure fence around it. The children enjoyed the full length of the yard, now confident they were safe with a known boundary in place. Lesson: children need structure, boundaries, and the firm and aware presence of a competent adult in their midst. While they might outwardly bristle at parental discipline, underneath they feel relieved. They are not adults, and no matter what they might say, they really do know they want and need the adults to be in charge.

Trouble Signs – What to Watch Out For

Every family has its ups and downs, and some families have extra challenges with “high-need” children, or even “high-need” parents. A certain amount of strife is to be expected, and should not cause alarm.

However, some things are sure signs a relationship is in trouble. Here is a list that has been cultivated by many couples therapy specialists with decades of experience. Take a look, and if any of these signs has been occurring for more than a few weeks, it’s time to get some help. Remember, we didn’t come into this world knowing how to build rockets without lots of training. Why should we expect that managing the foibles of a blended family should be an easier?

1. The couple has stopped talking with each other about family issues, and even avoid each other’s company. When they do talk, it is laced with sarcasm, a deadly form of indirect anger. This is a big red flag, because it represents a breakdown in willingness to work as a team, and suggests hopelessness has set in. Many people find dealing with conflict to be difficult, which it is, until we’ve learned some effective conflict-resolution skills. Take heart: these skills work, and many therapists can help you learn them with your spouse. It’s actually easier than you think, and tremendously rewarding to actually resolve problems.

2. The household has become a democracy, in that the children are too involved in making decisions. It’s the parents’ role to make the decisions for the children, who feel burdened by too much responsibility. It has been a trend in the last generation or two to give children more of a voice in family matters, in reaction to a much more repressive parenting style in the ‘40’s and ‘50’s. I think this is a good change – kids deserve to be listened to, and probably need to be heard even more. But being listened to is a separate process from kids making decisions, which must remain firmly in the hands of the adults. When adults have given too much responsibility to their children, it suggests the parents have trouble being adults themselves.

3. Some parents get into a competition about their kids, and which kids will benefit from the family resources. It becomes “my kids vs. your kids.” Once parents become polarized like this, nobody wins and everyone feels uneasy. Again, parents will benefit by talking it out with each other and developing a policy that everyone knows and agrees to. This often shows up more in older families, where couples have adult children who are expecting family benefits, like college tuition, wedding expenses, help with a down payment on a house, or even inheritances. Often, couples have a hard time getting past their fears of talking openly about what they feel comfortable with. It’s better, however, to talk it through than to wait to see how it plays out.

4. Parents are not using relationship skills to problem-solve family issues. Instead, one or the other parent unilaterally takes over parenting, disregarding the other parent’s contribution. Many step-parents have not been parents before the marriage, and don’t feel confident in their skills. The easiest thing is for the biological parent to assume full control. This might be appropriate in the beginning, but over time it is important to bring in the parental role of the step-parent, and when there are situations that he or she doesn’t know how to handle, that’s the time to ask for help from the biological parent. It’s okay to be a learner. There’s no one way to be the perfect parent, or there wouldn’t be radical parenting style shifts from one generation to the next. We are all experimenting. The biological parent has been practicing since their children’s birth. Many step-parents will enroll in a parenting class, such as Love and Logic, and many others. And all of us will regress to our own parents’ style (no matter how much we hated it growing up) when we are stressed. It takes a lot to be a good parent, so don’t beat yourself up, but do use resources.

5. The step-parent resents the biological parent’s kids coming to visit. This usually comes up after the routine has settled in and the step-parent finds that the biological children are not as accepting of the new spouse as they had hoped, or the kids are trouble-makers. “They just won’t warm up to me,” I often hear. This always suggests there is an underlying problem, where someone, often the children and the spouse, feel like outsiders. There is usually some difficult history here that needs to be dealt with – the “visiting” children didn’t get properly taken care of during a nasty divorce, or they resent their parent for moving on from the original family, or perhaps the step-parent is stuck in their expectation that their new life wouldn’t be “intruded upon” by the “leftovers” of a former marriage. These are tough images, but they do come up for people. When they do, it’s a strong indicator they would benefit from therapy. Most all of us come from imperfect families, and drag along our childhood wounds to our adult lives. There’s no shame in that, but hopefully we’ll be able to work on these issues without hurting the people we love. Therapy is a good way to do that.

6. The new step-parent feels like the new nanny. This is what I call the “Mary Poppins Myth,” that some people hope their new partner will fill the role of parent while the biological parent continues their life at work or is otherwise removed from the daily tasks of family life. Some couples agree to this arrangement, but forget to take into account that the children will be less eager to accept the new full time parent. Some partners don’t even realize they’ve put such a burden on their new spouse, but think of it as fulfilling a family tradition: “this is just how it’s done.” Whether it’s your tradition or not, you are still in a marriage that will require much more compromise and, in our culture, more equal footing. Otherwise, it is a setup for resentment to set in.

7. The children have stopped talking to the step-parent. In the first year or two, children are likely to be more ambivalent about getting close to the step-parent. But if they have moved closer and then have pulled back, there’s trouble. It’s important to investigate it sooner than later. Kids are generally less able to talk about problems than adults are, and can be even more reluctant to say something negative about a step-parent. Yet, if they feel hurt by a step-parent, and find that their biological parent is “siding with” the step-parent, the child feels more and more excluded, unimportant, and unwanted. Who wouldn’t feel angry? When this situation is allowed to ferment, long-term estrangement can develop, and that can take years to resolve. I have seen this over and over again, and the sad thing about it is that it usually starts with something very simple and mundane. The problem is that the small issues start to translate as a larger pattern or attitude – a chronic dynamic that everyone comes to expect. Again, this can happen in original (non-divorced) families as easily as in blended families, but it can be so destructive that it bears discussing here. When it gets to the point that no one can talk about it without a big blow-up, you do have another choice other than giving up: see a couples counselor. It’s better to start with couples counseling first because very often the underlying problems reside with the couple. If necessary, a session or two can include a child, to help everyone share their story and be heard. It’s always amazing to me how much is discovered by partners when they talk about things in therapy. Even after living together for years, there’s so much they don’t know about each other, often because they don’t know what questions to ask, and they often have a hard time hearing the answers. Couples therapists are skilled at helping everyone truly be heard. Once you know how the other person feels underneath the surface issue, much more resolution is possible.

Overwhelming Doesn’t Mean Impossible – Therapy Can Help!

If taking on a blended family seems overwhelming, take heart: it is. But it can also bring tremendous joy when those hard won moments finally happen, and your spouse’s child voluntarily offers a kind word, or even a small hand. When your step-daughter asks you to walk her down the aisle. When your stepson surprises you years later with a simple thank you for being a part of his life.

So many options and directions for growth open up when a couple comes to therapy. Some people think therapy is “just for nuts,” that needing therapy is a clear sign of weakness or that if you need it, something is wrong with you. That might have been true decades ago, but both therapy and the people who use it have changed a lot in the last several years. Most of the people I see are very ordinary people who are needing a little guidance in an area of their lives, or they might feel overwhelmed by the enormity of the life task set before them. Couples work is usually short term, and can help a family shift quickly to a much more satisfying way of life. Unfortunately, too many couples wait until they are on the brink of divorce before getting help, and by then it is usually too late. Some therapists advocate treating marriage like we take care of our cars: we bring them in for tune-ups. I personally have found NOTHING more challenging than being in a marriage and raising a child, and believe the help gained through therapy is the best resource there is.

Above all, when a blended family succeeds, it gives everyone the experience that marriage can work, family can be a good thing, and that we are lucky to come from family who loves us. I am hearing this more and more in my practice as grown children from blended families are able to look back with appreciation for their parents’ struggles and accomplishments. I’m also seeing more adult children whose parents, disengaged from them at some point because of divorce, have reunited and have learned to become friends. So often, these healed relationships begin with one simple gesture: reaching out.

Beth Strong, MA, LPC

April 2008

Thanks to the following people for their resources, knowledge, and wisdom, and their generosity in sharing it.

Dr. James Bray, author of Step Families: Love, Marriage, and Parenting in the First Decade, Broadway Books, 1998.

Ellyn Bader of the Couples Institute in Menlo Park, CA.

The following therapists who contributed to my understanding of issues in blended families: Roxanne Barksdale, LCSW, Amy McNulty, Ph.D., Jean Sutton, LPC, Jean Pollock, LCSW, Janet Bychek, LCSW, and Don Wilde, Ph.D.

Therapist Contact Info:

Beth Strong, MA, LPC

303-322-4224

Beth Strong, MA, LPC
www.bethstrong.com
303-322-4224

For more articles like this one, go to http://www.therapylinx.com/

Article Source: The Blended Family – Hopes, Fears, and Tasks

Learn From Celebrities Who Got Their Dream Family

2010-03-25T09:01:00.000-04:00

Fame and fortune are usually the first things that come to mind when it comes to celebrities. But there are some things we would never in a million years think of associating with celebrities – things like: working as a janitor, being part of an impoverished family of 14, living on welfare, getting shot, or being sexually molested.

Yet it’s early hardships such as these that have shaped and driven some of the most powerful and important celebrities in the world, including Jim Carrey, Tom Cruise, Sean "Diddy" Combs, Celine Dion and Oprah Winfrey.

Social scientists are now studying the phenomenon which suggests a link between a tough upbringing and fame.

“We all have a basic need for acceptance and approval by social groups,” says Orville Gilbert Brim, author of The Fame Motive: A Treatise on its Origin and Life Course.

“If it's not satisfied, if a person is excluded either in infancy, childhood or, in many cases, adolescence, this frustration becomes the source of a motive or a desire to become famous.”

Here, we take a look at some of the most famous rags-to-riches celebrities:

JIM CARREY

Raised in Canada, Carrey went through hard times during his early teens, when his father was laid off work. To help make ends meet, a teenage Carrey worked as both a janitor and a security guard before eventually dropping out of high school. As time passed, the situation worsened, and the family lost their home, forcing them to live in a van.

SEAN “DIDDY” COMBS

Born in the public housing projects of Harlem, Combs moved out of New York City as a child after his father was murdered. Raised upstate in Mount Vernon by his mother, who reportedly worked several jobs at the time, Combs continuously pushed himself. His big break came as a business student at Howard University, where he landed an intern gig at Uptown records and quickly made his way from the mail room to the boardroom.

TOM CRUISE

Cruise’s parents (his father an engineer and his mother a special education teacher) ended their marriage when he was 12-years-old. From that time, Cruise, along with his siblings, was raised by his mother, who reportedly held down as many as four jobs at once to keep the family clothed and fed. During their long period of near-poverty, Tom’s newspaper-delivery earnings also helped put food on the table. Adding to Cruise’s troubles at the time was his struggle with dyslexia, which caused him difficulty in the classroom.

CELINE DION

Born into an impoverished family of 14 in Charlemagne, Quebec, Dion developed a passion for the creative arts at an early age. Growing up fine-tuning her vocal skills at her parents’ small piano bar, she never lost that drive – or the desire for a better life.

CURTIS “50 CENT” JACKSON

Raised without a father, 50 Cent’s mother, a cocaine dealer, was reportedly found dead after being murdered when he was just 12-years-old. Suddenly orphaned, he was taken in by his grandparents and spent much of his early adulthood using and dealing drugs. To add to the rapper’s misfortune, he was shot nine times in a failed attempt on his life back in 2000.

J.K. ROWLING

After Rowling's short-lived marriage of just over one year ended in divorce, she moved her daughter to Edinburgh, Scotland, where she was hard at work on the first of her best-selling Harry Potter books. During that time, the struggling writer was forced to live on welfare. In fact, apart from writing the Harry Potter novels, Rowling is perhaps equally famous for her “rags to riches” life story, in which she progressed from living on welfare to multi-millionaire status within five years.

OPRAH WINFREY

Born in poverty to a teenage single mother in rural Mississippi, Oprah was raised on her deeply religious and poverty-stricken grandmother’s farm. Motivated by a better life, Winfrey moved to Wisconsin to be with her mother. But instead, she found just the opposite. Oprah was sexually molested by her cousin, uncle and a family friend, starting from when she was just nine-years-old. She was also raped at age nine, and, at the tender age of 14, reportedly gave birth to a premature baby, who died in infancy. Shortly after, she moved to her father’s home in Nashville, where she finally found the discipline and stability she had craved for.

Like this post? See more like it at: Letitflow.com – your one-click stop for all the latest news on celebrities, fashion, high-tech gadgets, luxury cars, exotic travel destinations, and much more!

The Emotional Farewell Tribute Song And Video That Sarah Phillips Created For Her Dying Mother Debbie Phillips

2010-03-06T21:25:00.000-05:00

If you want to watch something that will really touch you, just watch the video below. It is of a song and tribute video that Sarah Phillips created for her dying mother Debbie Phillips. Sarah recorded this song into her mobile phone in her bedroom on the 10th February 2010, the evening that her mother, Debbie Phillips, died of cervical cancer.

The name of the song in the video is "Autumn", by Scottish singer Paulo Nutini. On the night her mother died, Sarah Phillips sang the song pitch perfect without any music – and without a single mistake or hesitation. The video and music in the background were added to her performance later and put up on YouTube. Now it has become a YouTube sensation.

Wouldn't it be great if every daughter would remember her mother this way....

The truth is that life is precious and it goes by so quickly. The things that we all think are so important end up being not so important in the end.

Now is the time to simplify our lives, get out of debt, get free of financial obligations and start spending more of our time with the ones that we love.

Life is like a coin - we can spend it any way that we want, but we can only spend it once.

Be sure to spend it with the ones that you love.

The History Of Valentine's Day

2010-02-09T18:48:00.000-05:00

It is hard enough to have a great marriage and family as it is without thinking about which holidays your family should or should not observe. But the truth is that we all need to learn the history behind the holidays that we celebrate. For example, Valentine's Day has a history that mixes pagan traditions with Catholic ones. Originally an ancient Roman holiday known as "Lupercalia" was observed every year on February 15th. The purpose of the holiday was "to avert evil spirits and to purify the city, releasing health and fertility". It often involved animal sacrifice and the slapping of young women with various instruments. These traditions were thought to be good for female fertility.

Later on, the Catholic church "christianized" the holiday and it became known as "St. Valentine's Day", but the focus continued to be on love and fertility. In fact, many of the ancient pagan traditions have been incorporated into today's celebrations.

For example, Cupid was originally the Roman the god of erotic love and beauty. But most Christians today love little Cupid so much that they would not dare do away with him.

For more on the history of Valentine's Day, just check out the short video from the History Channel posted below....

Tips for Travelling with Children

2010-01-14T13:57:00.000-05:00

Tips for Travelling with Children

Author: Andrew Regan

Travelling with your children can be a truly rewarding experience, enabling you to witness their experience of new and exciting surroundings. However, it can also be an extremely trying task, as many young children can become impatient or fussy on long trips. Follow a few simple tips during your family travels, and help ensure the experience is pleasant for both you and your children.

No matter where you’re travelling or what mode of transportation you choose to take, there are a few essentials that you should always pack along. For instance, if your child has a favourite toy or blanket, bringing it on the trip can help them feel more secure. Packing a few new toys can also keep them entertained during the journey, particularly if you wrap them up and let your child open them. They needn’t be big or expensive– most toy stores offer a variety of affordable and compact toys to choose from.

If you’re travelling by plane, there are many steps you can take to ensure the trip is more comfortable for your children. To begin, enquire whether the airline you’re travelling with offers any facilities for young children. Many, for example, will allow early boarding, allocate aisle seating, and even supply activities or small toys for children. Airline staff will also usually warm up bottles and baby foods on request, and sometimes offer special treats for kids. However, snacks are another important thing for you to pack, as your child might not necessarily like what’s offered in-flight. What’s more, if you end up getting delayed at either end of your trip, it could definitely help to have some snacks handy. Use a backpack to carry toys, snacks, and other travel supplies, as this will leave your hands free in case you need to carry your child.

If you’re travelling by car, you might want to pack along some story and song tapes or CDs, in addition to their favourite toys. If you’re renting a car, also ensure you book a child seat or take your own with you. It’s always best to try and coincide your car journey with your baby’s usual sleep time; however, if the journey is long, ensure you take breaks along the way. Many parents might be tempted to get long stretches of driving out of the way at once, but children tend to get restless on long car rides – so make sure you stop every few hours. During the day, ensure the sun isn’t shining directly onto your child’s face, as this can make them uncomfortable. If it happens to be a sunny day, apply sunscreen to your child, or have them wear a hat. A window sunshade can also come in handy.

Finally, it might help to look into family friendly hotels for your stay. For instance if you're travelling to Chicago, you’ll find that many Chicago hotels offer services dedicated to children and families alike – whether it’s a play area, children’s meals, or even a babysitting service.

Keeping a few tips like these in mind can help ensure your travels are comfortable and enjoyable – for both you and your child.

Article Source: http://www.articlealley.com/article_1321841_29.html

http://www.flickr.com/photos/andrew_regan/

Panic Attacks In Children

2010-01-13T12:04:00.000-05:00

Panic Attacks in Children

by Colin Eagle

Panic attacks in children are quite common, but they are often overlooked. Most of the time they go untreated because many adults tend to believe that children bear no responsibility, so therefore should not be developing stress. However, nothing could be further from the truth. It is an unfortunate reality that panic attacks occur in children. In children, panic attacks can interfere with their ability to make relationships, their schoolwork and a normal healthy development. For some children, it becomes so severe that they try to avoid certain situations for fear that an panic attack might occur. If left untreated, some children may start to show signs of self-destructive or even suicidal behaviour.

Children who have a fear of the dark are at an increased risk of going on to develop panic attacks and depression as adults. Manifestations of panic in children alters as a child grows, and it is a known fact that most chronic panic and mood disorders experienced by adults were at some point preceded by panic attacks as a child.

The first sign that your child may be experiencing panic attacks is withdrawal. If your child is constantly avoiding social situations, trying to get out of going to school, isolating themselves or not wanting to be separated from you, they may be dealing with panic attacks on a regular basis.

The second sign is that they may often seem sad and overstressed. If your child does not seem to laugh or play often, then they may be suffering from panic attacks. You should try to talk to them about their problems and how they feel. This allows them to feel better and teaches them that it is perfectly normal and okay to have these feelings.

The third sign is if they seem easily hurt or upset when told that they have done something wrong.

You should also note that many of the physical symptoms of panic attacks are the same in children as they are in adults.

These include high blood pressure and rapid heartbeat, sweating, chest pains, feeling dizzy and difficulty breathing.

These can lead to a multitude of other problems including stomach pain, nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, ulcers, weakness and shortness of breath.

Because the symptoms of panic attacks are the same in both children and adults, the treatments that are directed at adults are just as effective in children. If you think your child suffers from panic attacks, it is always best to see your doctor. Although this will mean they are usually prescribed medication, you should also try natural solutions as is recommended for an adult i.e. a healthy diet, regular exercise, a good sleeping pattern and breathing and relaxation techniques. As well as these treatments, psychotherapy is also available as a treatment option for panic attacks in children and they are highly effective. One natural technique to stop panic fast in children is cognitive behavioural therapy, which has been proven to work extremely well.

About the Author

Our aim is to offer advice and support to those who suffer from Panic Attacks or Anxiety Attacks. Our website, http://www.stoppanic.co.uk/ gives link to various Natural Treatments whilst we also offer a free weekly Newsletter.