Tiranga Talkies

This is Hatiyapa

noreply@blogger.com (Varun Gurnaney) — Wed, 17 Sep 2014 10:03:00 -0700

lol

Three Articles

noreply@blogger.com (Varun Gurnaney) — Tue, 8 Jan 2013 22:25:00 -0800

I was returning home from my internship by train, which was something I later found myself to regret. Saying Mumbai locals are filled with people is synonymous to saying that Suresh Kalmadi is a liar. Go during the right time, and there won’t be enough room for your chest hair to stand up straight. After being violated by hundreds of Mumbaikars and their bags, I went to only place that I believed could grant me some solace and serenity-a vada pav stall. I then returned home, feeling happy with the little lives I had changed today through law and picked up the newspaper. As I read it, I lost faith in law faster than Miley Stewart gets laid.

Juvenile? Are you fucking 'kid'ding me?
On the very first page I read about how a ‘juvenile’ of about 17-20 years of age (age wasn't able to be definitely determined) was let of the hook for raping a minor. I just hope my college mates back in Delhi don’t happen to read the article, for obvious reasons. What makes this news worst that he cut the body part into pieces and threw them into different public toilets.
If we look at the whole case, in one way, it is only fair to call youths from that age group juvenile when they can’t even spell out ‘adulthood’ (AdalThuD?).But, truly, this case particularly, beat the purpose of law, not much alike our ministers. Juvenile justice act works on the logic that juveniles are innocent and ignorant enough to not have a criminal intention behind the crime, just like they don’t have any behind promoting catastrophes like Twilight and Justin Bieber. However, cutting a body into pieces and disposing them into different places takes considerable time and work. Such time ought to have been enough for any sane, normal individual to regain his consciousness and self-control. (I have got case laws to prove that). Such action cannot be claimed to have been done under innocence. Something needs to be done about the Juvenile Justice Act. However its position in the government’s list of priorities, seems to be somewhere between ‘decrease petrol prices’ and ‘hug Musharraf’ right now.

Ministers--Why do they open their mouth?
The next news was how a minister had declared that marriage was a contract as a part of which women have to do all the house hold chores. I presume that men have some duties as well which their wives don’t- Breathing, having consensual sex, eating food at convenient times, having a life, etc. I believe the minister’s exact words were “Marriage is successful only when wife looks after the household and husband takes care of the earning. This system is also good for society and ensures proper order in society.” I believe society’s exact reply was- “Absolutely true sir, just like your existence will be successful only when your ass does the shitting and your brain looks after the thinking, instead of them exchanging tasks.”

Passion: Stabbing?
The next news article did little to raise my faith, even slightly. It was a feeling which a guy feels after finding out that not only did his girlfriend cheat on him, but the person he cheated on him was his brother (ouch!). SC had decreased the punishment for a rapist from death sentence to life imprisonment. The rapist had stabbed the appellant’s 65 year old aunt 21 times, killing her and then raped his pregnant wife, later stabbing her 19 times. The bench of judges was of the opinion that this was not one of the ‘rarest of the rare’ cases which should invite capital punishment. Again I would try to justify the other side, which is bench of judges who reduced the punishment, because…. well it’s more fun to try and defend the other side than to run along with the crowd. Rarest of the rare cases need to be strictly defined in order to prevent the overuse of capital punishment. Too much liberation on this part may lead to injustice. Every other extension to this definition, however justified it may seem to be, may be contributing to such liberation. Also, as a judge, it is not easy when you have to decide on a man’s life. It is an unbearable torture to decide whether a man will live or not and every crime has certain factors behind it influencing and shaping it. Judges have been known to make serious mistakes on this part, and the feeling of regret later is unmatchable. The husband plans to file a review petition. We just have to wait and watch what happens.

Law has the dynamics of a hot girlfriend- it keeps changing. And I am sure, rigorous modifications of laws will accompany the present changes in the society. With changes in the society, changes in law don’t seem to be far behind.

The Other Side

noreply@blogger.com (Varun Gurnaney) — Thu, 20 Dec 2012 12:25:00 -0800

Returning from my hostel after months of isolation, alienation and separation, I returned to my birth place. The first glorious face, which I saw the moment I came out of my train station, refreshed all my childhood memories and times in this awesome city. It was my driver’s. I sat down in my car, and we started talking about my newly acquired French beard (oh yes, imma bragging!). It then, eventually reached to the most talked about event in India presently, the Delhi rape case. Now before you close down this window thinking this article to be more about how wrong rapists are and how their groins should be torn out in the public, let me say that this one is absolutely different. This is the other side of the story. From the mouth of my driver, who has lived among people who believe that rape incidents occur because of the girl’s doings. And he justified it quite well too. I hope you comprehend this side well.

I started the conversation by saying how sad and inhumane the event was. The driver replied “the girl should have seen that coming, if she was dressed that way, like that will only happen.” Being the typical law student that I am, I started asking him questions, eager to hear this other side of the argument and found myself frantically searching for appropriate replies, at the brink of failing to do that even. I told him that merely wearing an inappropriate dress cannot be used to hold the girl responsible for the brutal rape. A girl should naturally enjoy the freedom of wearing whatever she wants. He replies “yes but it depends on the region. Here in Mumbai, people are bored of seeing all that. Even if a girl roams around naked, nobody cares. But there such dresses are uncommon. If a girl wears them, the think she is a slut.” I was visibly moved by this statement. He continued, “See, there, if a girl wears a Salwar suit, she is understood to be from a big and respectable family. But if girls go out in this small shorts (putting his hands way above on the thighs) people are bound to see her in a wrong way and do things.” I replied, “but you cannot possibly say that this was her mistake! They did the wrong thing, why blame the girl for it?” He says “It’s the human mentality related to the type of dress, especially there. And, for example, if I don’t own a car, I’ll of course greedily look at another person’s car. Same way, the men look at the women. Then slowly, they build up the courage to do that thing. So, the courage is lifted not by the men consciously, but is lifted by the woman’s clothes. Because they think that if a woman is wearing such a dress in public, she is a slut and hence should not complaint against sex. If a woman wears such clothes at home, or her car it’s fine. But she should understand that if she walks out like that in public in such places, people will cast a bad look upon her.” I was astonished but tried to understand such a point of view and almost did. However, the next line by him completely blew my mind- “it is completely understandable. Here nobody can do anything hence nobody does. I bet to you that most of the men doing this must be from reputed families and hence will get away without a scratch. Hence they say that they haven’t been able to catch two of the rapists. The two must be having some contacts in high places. Else how difficult it is for the police to catch two people when it has successfully grabbed four of them. There they are not scared of anything. Who knows, if I would have been in that place, even I would have……” what followed was laughter by him.

I know it may sound shocking the first time, but if you see closely, this logic does make sense, even if in its own demented way. Such is the psychology of rapists in Delhi and Haryana. So the people who say that rape happens because of provocating dresses, are not complete dumb asses and do have a strong reasoning to back up that line of thinking. Think about it.

Gave Birth To HIS Baby

noreply@blogger.com (Varun Gurnaney) — Thu, 20 Sep 2012 09:21:00 -0700

Let me start with a tale.

Kamla Devi was pregnant, everybody was happy. After nine months of expectations the fortunate day came when her water broke; a baby was going to be delivered! They rushed to the nearest government hospital, excited! But the hospital asked for money, which her family did not have, they had to go elsewhere. No hospital was agreeing to accommodate her, she searched for five days. She searched for 5 days with a dead foetus in her stomach. Her third baby died. She got pregnant again soon after that. This time during delivery, she died.

India has just recognised “Reproduction Rights” as a legal right and is the first country to do so. It recognises the basic right of all couples and individuals to decide freely and responsibly the number, spacing and timing of their children and to have the information and means to do so, and the right to attain the highest standard of sexual and reproductive health. It also includes the right of all to make decisions concerning reproduction free of discrimination, coercion and violence as expressed in human rights documents. In the exercise of this right, they should take into account the needs of their living and future children and their responsibilities towards the community. The citizens of countries other than India might be confounded- “If they don’t decide, then who does? The Godfather?” Well no, the husbands mostly. In a typical Indian family, the husband earns while the wife does household chores. So of course, only the husband can decide the matters of the house, amount of children THEY want, the money and facilities SHE should get, her behaviour in front of others, her number of breaths…

Many women in villages are coerced to go through sterilization. At many places, the village doctors offer perks like money or other goods for this “small” operation tempting the village girls into this hole. I know it is shocking, but it’s true. The gruesome operation leaves them in pain, and they lose all their right to children. Moreover, the “hospitals” to which such women are taken are filthy and deprived of basic facilities. They lie on the floor, hurt and in pain. Moreover, most of the women lucky enough to get into hospitals never want to return there. In hospital rooms across small towns in India, the hospital facilities are pathetic. Instances of two mothers delivering on the same bed are quite common, even in hospitals in ‘developed’ states like Karnataka. This is despite the proficient orders of the court to erect hospitals with good facilities (including a playground for children to play). When checked, the orders were found only on paper. The execution was so poor that the hospital itself doesn’t exist at many places. If only the execution would have been able, thousands of women like kamla bai would have been alive.

Tubectomy in women is not the only option to curb child birth. Vasectomy in men is much less painful and complicated. It is a simpler procedure as compared to tubectomy. But the men all over India are unable to do it because if they lose their abilities to reproduce, they will automatically turn into eunuchs, lose their masculinity and start dressing up like Justin Bieber. They will not be men anymore. This very male ego has led to the pain and suffering of women across India.

Reproduction rights will grant every couple, especially mother the authority to decide the number of babies they want. They decide when they want procreation to start, and when to stop. Yes, it justifies abortion (without knowing the gender or discriminating against it). It inevitably raises the issue of rights of the foetus. Namely, whether the foetus is entitled to the same rights as human? The topic is debatable, with one side arguing that they don’t until it develops and hence it is unreasonable for the mother to suffer because of it and the other say they have as much right as us to come into and enjoy this world. Take a side.

As far as abortion because of gender discrimination goes, here is some food for thought-

In a country like India, where women are oppressed, ostracised and killed at various stages of life after birth, isn’t it better that the foetus be killed during the first three months, when it is not fully formed?

You’re Gay And You Don’t Know It.

noreply@blogger.com (Varun Gurnaney) — Sat, 8 Sep 2012 07:43:00 -0700

I attended this conference on gay people by Nivedita Menon, Pramada Menon, Gautam Bhan (prominent activists, took the initiative of decriminalization of sex between homosexuals under 377) as a part of my law studies. The first thing that this name brought to my mind was hours of cribbing about gay rights and equality. I guess others in my batch shared the same instinct, because as soon as the word of going to the conference broke out, everybody started thinking of excuses to give for missing it. “I am Homophobic” was my personal favourite. I anyways followed the crowd and attended the conference, and it blew my mind. Their main argument was not how gays are discriminated against, their argument was how the simple identity of being gay overshadowed rest every identity. So if a person says “I am a lecturer at Harvard, CEO at Apple, oh and by the way, I am gay” subconsciously the way you will categorize him is not as “teacher at Harvard” or “CEO at apple” but as “a gay.”

As soon as I left the conference, I ostentatiously started telling people how great the conference was and how deep and insightful the discussion was. I expected looks of acknowledgement and questions about the details about the seminar; instead, I got looks of suspicion and questions of whether I was gay. However, that didn’t bother me. What bothered me was that the first time I was asked this, I felt offended. This forced me to question that why do people name the supporters of gay movement as gays and how and when exactly did the term “gay” become an insult.

I guess that people in support of the gay movement, with the idea that moving around, interacting and living with them are rare. And straight people with the same ideology are rarer. It is a bit odd for the society to hear things like “I support gays and will fight for them till end” from the mouths of straight people. So impulsively, the first thing that comes to their minds is- “oh, is he one of the gays?’ Because there is no way they can know for sure; they have to ask, and then most of the times, their attitudes towards gays change, which brings me to my second concern; the reducing of the term “gay” to an insult.

To summarize the happenings in the society and precisely in India in a layman’s language, I would say that there are two kinds of people in the society. One, who have sexual and romantic relationship with humans who are totally different from them, mentally and physically. and the other who have the same with humans who are the same in every aspect,. The first group is justified in feeling strange living around and in insulting the other group, whereas, the mere co existent of the second group with the first is unacceptable for some people in the society. Since childhood, loving people of the same gender has been strange, odd or “queer” for us without any pragmatic explanation. We feel weird because they have sex with people of the same gender, for all we know, they might be feeling strange because we do the same with the people of the opposite gender.

Boy after a talk on queer identity in the class by a homosexual- but mam, with all due respect, I would still feel insecure leaving my boy child alone near a gay.

Lecturer- Oh that’s good, we feel insecure leaving our girl child near you!

In a society, the practice of the majority is normal and that of the minority is queer. This is the only reasonable explanation I can give for this discrimination. But we have to accept the homosexual identity as a way of life. Some people like the opposite gender, some like the same. Period. Let’s move above the queer identity and start recognising those people for different ones like a successful feminist/lecturer/student. Let’s get over the mental block and queerness.

P.S- I am not gay- to answer the question that might have popped up at least once in the minds of some people while reading this article.

Thank you for proving my point.

Come Back With The Kohinoor, If Not A Medal!

noreply@blogger.com (Varun Gurnaney) — Fri, 10 Aug 2012 02:57:00 -0700

Please stop reading this blog. No, seriously. It doesn’t offer magic fixes, and it will not bring about a change in the country you and I live in. Nor will it stop the hockey players from sucking on the field. Its really sad, we regard Hockey as our national game but lose disgracefully in tournaments. We just can't blame the players for the blemish, the Indian Hockey Federation is equally responsible for the comedown of the game. We all know how well they treat our players.

Child 1 from Punjab : When I win the Hockey world cup for India I will take off the t-shirt just like Ganguly did!!

Child 2 : You think they will give you t-shirts?

First we win the cricket world cup, suck against England, then do Sri Lanka at their home, all we can interpret is that the game-setters are doing well. Indians can never be consistent at sports unless the walkover-bridge to the stadium collapses (Courtesy: Suresh Kalmadi). Maybe that’s how we succeeded in securing a hundred and one medals at the disgraceful Commonwealth Games. Or we should just thank the queen for not ruling China.

Olympics is the most loved game by India if you don't give a fuck about the Cricket World Cup, the English Premier League, FIFA World Cup, F1, IPL, Ranji Trophy, Deodhar Trophy, Shivaji Park Bat Ball, Dharavi Chawl Gully Cricket, Dhyan Vidyapeeth Khel Utsav.

It is not that we cannot win. No seriously, its just that Olympic federation is just too bias towards the west. The Olympic games host only those events in which the west is good at. If they introduce games like ‘Alighting from a Virar Fast at Andheri’, ‘Crossing Suman Nagar junction in 100 seconds’, ‘Driving with no street lights’, ‘Stuffing 13 people including three fat aunties into an Innova’, ‘Using a public toilet’ (Jeremy Clarkson, would you participate? ), 'Dahi-Handi' (Seriously, should be considered ) possibly then India and Bangladesh would get a few gold medals too. Whereas for Pakistan, those who could run and jump have already crossed the border.

Well, there have been performers who have bought us glory in the past. Abhinav Bindra is the only Punjabi who learned to shoot in a shooting-range. This year, Saina Nehwal shuttled the cocks well and got the bronze. Vikram Singh chose to shy away from the limelight and get the silver. Mary Kom is the first women wrestler to get a bronze in the Olympics and still clarifying that she is not Chinese. Virender Singh, bronze holder in Beijing Olympics was punched out in the quarter finals itself.

Indian media is mainly responsible for the down-fall of the players. Their wins, which are a few are over-hyped by the media. Thus bringing them under pressure when they enter the field next. Wins should be appreciated not announced. Interestingly, medals won by India in the history of Olympics are equal to the medals secured by Michael Phelps alone!

Hosting an Olympic event is an honor to a state and if Olympics was hosted in India.....(the rest was deleted as it was too traitorous)

Touch Me Not? Seriously?

noreply@blogger.com (Varun Gurnaney) — Sun, 5 Aug 2012 04:01:00 -0700

My daily schedule is something like this : Brush; Shit; Bath (alternative weeks); Leave for college; Abuse rickshaw walas, Keep abusing.....

Mumbaikars feeling towards the rick walas is not so bad its just like America’s feeling towards Iraq! The acrimony increased when the rates of the minimum fare was raised from Rs 9 to Rs.11 and then to Rs.12. Now a word is around that the price is going to touch Rs.14. To those who don’t know, the rumor is true.

I did a detail research on the particular topic. Full of insightful discussions and debates with the bhaiyas, who don’t know the meaning of these words! And after days of rickshaw travels, spending almost all my pocket money in the process, and hours of talks, I came to a conclusion that, rickshaw walas are one group of bizarre people. They can go just on and on! Although that did play to my benefit. I made two of them confess that all rick walas rig their meters. So ironically, the "touch me not" meters are not just touched, but fucked by the rick walas! Maybe that’s precisely why, the government of India has given orders to change the old black meters with the new electronic ones. Now you don’t need your phone to see the fare during the night.

The electronic meters cannot be rigged. So basically, even if the price rises to Rs.14 , it will be the same for mumbaikars. The government has outsmarted the bhaiyas. And they couldn’t do anything! Well, except overcrowding our city, multiplying the slum areas, stealing available employment, wriggling through the roads like cockroaches, showing their faces. But they have given us something valuable. Another abuse! So now if you want to abuse anyone, you have one more word- Abbbbeeeeeeee BhAiYaAAEee!!!!

The Mystery Of The Miraculous Letter

noreply@blogger.com (Varun Gurnaney) — Thu, 19 Jul 2012 06:47:00 -0700

Yesterday, in what will seem like a miracle to most of the Indians, Mamata Banerjee supported an idea of Congress! Can you believe it? She now backs Pranab Mukherjee as the president of India. This miraculous event occurred after Pranab sent a letter to Mamata. Now, it got us all wondering what was in that mysterious letter which changed Mamata’s mind. In our opinion the letter would have been something like this.

"My dearest Mamata,
Hi, hope your liabilities are none and assets are fine as always. I am writing this letter to make you realize that we both are not very different. Our objective is the same, screw India and I have been committed to this object ever since I took the oath as a minister. If I become the president of India, imagine the ways in which we can screw the nation together. Just like that night I screwed into you, believe me sweet heart, the positions will be far more innovative this time. And hey, I need my Kamasutra book back. I have a date with Mayawati next week.

And dear, i have supported you throughout na? When you removed Dinesh Trivedi from post, refuted against FDI and also all your allegations towards CPI (m), when they drew cartoons, spoke freely, sneezed, breathed. Hence all I wish to ask is, why this kolaveri “DIDI”??

I promise, with the help of our Mother and his Puppet, we’ll screw India like no one ever has. Not even BJP which I affectionately call the "Blow Job Party". If you want India as screwed up as Bengal is right now, please support me. If not for our cause then our love, our child. Well mine or Manmohan’s. That was an awesome threesome!

Love,
Pranab Mukherjee,
(I knew that you wouldn't be interested in this B.S so I have also sent Rs.150 crore to your office. Just support me bitch!)"

To those who have finally returned from your restrooms after puking because of the harrowing mental images we created for you; YOUR WELCOME. Kapil Sir, for a change we decided to spare you and keep you out of this post. He must be busy screwing up the internet for us ( We are sure that he tried to right-click and try delete the Internet Explorer )

Bow Down To Her, Then Rape Her?

noreply@blogger.com (Varun Gurnaney) — Tue, 17 Jul 2012 05:22:00 -0700

I remember my friend saying this when we had gone to fetch him from the airport, “I went to Delhi searching for sex. But had to return empty handed. They are not accustomed to having sex by free consent you see”. My first impulse was to laugh. But now when I think about this, a serious concern hides behind the humour of that joke.

The concern I am talking about, was extensively displayed in the gruesome incident which occurred at Guwahati, Assam. A school girl was molested and tried to be raped by 40 people outside a bar. A number of ironies follow this incident. For one, Guwahati is a place where they don’t worship gods and only believe in goddesses. Secondly, If a woman is married, she cannot bring even a piece of cloth with her. The dowry system is nonexistent. Yes, it was on this land that a school girl was shamelessly and publicly violated. Raising a question, how safe is India for a woman?

India, Women And World

The answer is, not at all. India currently holds the number four position in the “most dangerous places for a woman” list. Over the last century, around fifty million females have gone “missing” due to female infanticide and foeticide. Almost all of the abortions which were happening in India were female foeticides. Congratulations! after population, racism, discrimination, we have another thing to be proud about! Not only this, we have a place above countries like the war struck Somalia and Saudi Arabia; where you can get beaten for showing too much of your smile from under the “burkha”. Again, I will concentrate on the problem and the solution more rather than the statistics.

India, the only country where the concept of “female goddesses” exists, stands in such an abyss today. And where we bow down to a female in a temple, we violate a woman at... well, anywhere now a days it seems. Long gone are the days where rape and molestation was confined to the lone, dark, raper-friendly streets. The institution of rapers has discovered many unconventional places like milk colonies, bars, etc. I won’t be surprised if one fine day, I walk into Mc Donald’s and see a lady getting raped there. “Happy Meals” will now contain sex TOYS. Party room will be converted into molestation room. And the whole of India, will be riddled with one question- “Where’s the molestation tonight?”

Today, at certain states like Delhi, Haryana and the newest addition to the group, Assam, it is a sin not to wear long covering clothes and to get out during late evening; especially if you are Dolly Bindra. The law and order too, until recently, were against the sexually harassed. With shocking verdicts like “fingering a child is not sexual harassment. She must not have realised anything. At the most he should be charged with causing hurt and making her bleed”. As, it was said in Satyameva Jayete, there is no concrete law in India related to such molestation of minor. Not only this, the women and female children are raped again in the courtrooms; verbally, if not physically. The intimidating questions like “which part did it actually affect?”, “how did you feel at that time?”, “were you enjoying?” causes a trauma of unparallel nature in the girl’s mind.The lawyer should be asked equally outraging questions; “what were your parents thinking when they had sex on their honeymoon which lead to a tragedy like you?”, “Why didn’t your father stop himself at the right moment?", "Did you ejaculate on your pants? because they are white", "Do you find your secretary sexy, if no, then are you gay?"

Molestation And Its Creative Derivatives

The molestation sometimes is in the most subtle of forms. Like touching intimate areas and also the evergreen pick up lines- “kya maal hai”, “aye dekho fuljhari jaa reli hai”, “aye, aisa chalegi toh kaise chalega?” These seemingly harmless sentences are an insult to the women’s dignity.

The only path out of this is to gain a little maturity and show it, to treat women as equals, and to address the problems effectively and immediately. AND well, start watching porn. It may keep you away from molesting women when you are horny.
(For effective and instant cure from the urge to molest (Read: good porn sites) contact us.

India A Land Of "Dumb" And "Dumber"

noreply@blogger.com (Varun Gurnaney) — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 11:51:00 -0700

It wouldn't be absolutely wrong to say that in India, there is noise everywhere. And yes, I use the word “noise” and not sound. In India, if you want to show your devotion towards god, it just cannot happen without woofers, mikes, drums, and other instruments the names of which I don’t even know in English. Of course, if you idolize a minister you have to go around chanting (read shouting) his name on the streets in full blown procession. And obviously, what is an Indian marriage without the high decibel bands. After all they only come once in a long time, how can you not blow off other people’s ear drums? It won’t be called a celebration else. What if Indian festivals, on an average, come at least once every year? We have to ostentatiously show our happiness with celebrations, shows and processions. And they are always incomplete without loud noises which are a sad excuse for music.

The speakers gradually go from playing songs on the god to playing every cheesy item song in existence. And did you know, in India, if the signal’s red or if there is a traffic jam; giving a screeching horn will make the other cars float in the air giving you a clean passage. At least I don’t have any other reasonable explanation of the constant “honk-a-thon” on the roads. Honking is as useful in such circumstances as Narendra Modi is to the Muslim community. And as far as over taking or asking other cars to move, have patience. You’ll be surprised but that’s what major countries outside India do. Else lights will do just fine.

Now there are some other reasons behind the 'witticisms' I’ve listed above. Like Indians don’t know that in other countries, the honking is minimal! If you honk unnecessarily, people will stare at you as if you are an escaped convict. During festivals, the religious fanaticism plays it role. If the police are stopping a temple procession or Hindu wedding, they are biased towards Muslim and you aren’t receiving your rights! (Here, I would like to add that according to the constitution, a right is a right just till as far as it doesn’t become nuisance for others.) If you a stop a Muslim mosque loudspeaker or speech, you absolutely hate them and favor the Hindus. After the birth of Dolly Bindra, I believe this is the next most unfortunate thing.
Now, coming back to the title, in India, according to me, two types of people reside. 1, who are dumb to celebrate every little occasion and ritual with the loudest noise possible; And the dumber, who criticize, abuse, etc these very people, and then fantastically go ahead and do the same when there’s celebration at their own houses.

Did you know that decibel, at which noise becomes physically painful, is 80db. In Delhi the noise quantum (the voice pitch from the loudest area) is 80. In Mumbai its 85, Kolkata its 87, and Chennai- 89, etc. Noise pollution has many adverse effects like decreasing efficiency, abortions, shrinking concentration, temporary or partial deafness, etc. It also affects the plants, animals, and buildings.

I would say that as I’ve mentioned before, Indians should quit being the dumb and the dumber people and stop the unnecessary noise pollution. Remember, it always starts at a personal level. You know how badly it irks you when there is a loud screeching noise being played at the middle of the night or during your exam preparations. When you do the same during marriages, celebrations, etc; YOU become the horrible one irritating others. And then you are the one receiving all the honourable abuses. Don’t use what you abuse.

Economic Crisis- Are austerity measures the answer?

noreply@blogger.com (Varun Gurnaney) — Sun, 10 Jun 2012 00:32:00 -0700

The prices are high. Rupee rate is low. Investments are the worse they could ever be. Let’s face it, it’s a crisis. Let’s scrutinize the situation.

The economic crisis had befallen upon the whole of Europe a long time ago. Obviously, the whole world was adversely affected by it. However India, had managed to, more or less distance itself from the crisis. And was growing at a rapid rate! It mainly began after 2003- 04, where in the growth rate shot up from 3% to 5-6 % to directly 8- 9%. However, now, (if you want to believe the government), the crisis seems to have caught up with India. The GDP is expected to grow at 7% in the year ending 2012 which is significantly lower than the 8.4% in year 2011.

The manufacture growth reduced from 9% in 2011 to 3% in 2012. The trade deficit has increased to 10.6% of GDP(by 56%) between 2010-2011 and 2011-2012. The foreign investors, who used to consider India as one of the prime investing locations have been greatly discouraged and are gradually retreating, mainly due to the collapsing currency. I can just go on and on. But I don’t want to focus on the crisis, but the cause and the solution.

The UPA attributes the crisis to the global one, specifically the European one In spite of the earlier economic growth, wherein India seemed isolated from the global crisis. Now, in an attempt to control the inflation, the finance minister of India, Pranab Mukherjee has announced that he will implement “austerity” (harsh) measures. Which include controlling inflation by increasing the prices instead of decreasing them. Now, even though these measures are currently being followed in countries like Spain, Portugal and Germany, they are hardly growing.

What India needs to understand is that increasing the prices is not the answer! Increasing the prices will only fuel the inflation. This is because the rupee is falling, and the imports are getting more expensive. Basically the governments implement such measures to reduce govt expenditure so that they could balance the deficit accumulated over the years. However, if they implement the austerity measures, with costlier exports and more money supply due to raised prices, the inflation will only grow. Hence, the govt should increase the spending and use it for better growth and development. Then, they can earn through the taxes so received.

Voda-Case..!!

noreply@blogger.com (Varun Gurnaney) — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 00:22:00 -0700

(Courtesy: post.jagran.com)

Always it has been, and will always be, the departments in India are never sorted, whether it comes to arranging the messy files on their tables or tricking big buddies in taxation. And, this one, especially is a real brainer. It gets you on your heels and makes you think!

Hutchinson group of companies, a telecom giant with its market operations in a number of nations, was carrying out its Telecom operations in India. Then, another company, Vodafone Essar, acquired 67% stake in Hutchinson group of companies through a number of companies in Netherlands and Cayman Islands. Now, the appeal of the income tax commission is that "Hutchinson group" being an Indian company, the transfer of its any assets should constitute as a tax revenue for the government. But a big fallacy lies in this argument, which we're going to try to point out to you!

The shares of the company are defined as the share in the share capital of the company, which includes stock except when a distinction between shares and stock is expressed and implied.

So, the share capital of the company, per se, means a part in the capital of the company, strictly monetary terms. The share holder in turn earns profit in the way of dividend. So the share capital, is separate and distinct from the company's assets. If you take over the shares of the company, you will not have deemed to have purchased the company's assets

So tomorrow, if you go ahead and buy stakes in some company, you'll be the holder of only that part of share capital and not the company's assets as such.

For eg. If tomorrow, an Indian company takes-over a company in some foreign country, say china, with its operations in India, it will not be deemed to have taken the factories, warehouses etc. of the Chinese company in India. Similarly, Vodafone has not taken over the licenses and factories of Hutchinson in India! So if you remove the assets, from the concerned case, India is nowhere in the picture! Hence, justifying Supreme Court's verdict of relaxing the claims of taxation on Vodafone!

Also, many companies operating in India have acquired other companies through foreign lands, hence the verdict, if it would have been against Vodafone and pro taxation, would have discouraged some serious foreign investments.

Now the only way the IT (Income Tax) department can obtain the tax amount (of about $200 billion) is if the tax laws in India gets amended. The matter is currently being pushed by the IT dept.

Toilet 'Scam'med In UP

noreply@blogger.com (Varun Gurnaney) — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 06:23:00 -0700

Its has always been intriguing to know and Indian ministers have always been creative enough to invent new scams. Its something we shouldn't be proud of but we have no option but live with . The CWG scam, 2G scam, Adarsh scam would be unhappy and disappointed as there is a new enterant, a rather stenchy one: Toilet Scam -- A case of sheer over-reporting.

This was quite expected,' itna paisa khaya hai toh kahi se to nikalega', hence the 'toilet' scam. It happened at the home of all scams, and one of the most densly populated states, Uttar Pradesh (UP) and this time a Rs.2,900cr was parted with. The money was slowly relished over the past decade.

The state was to construct 1.71cr toilets in order to end open defecation in India under the Total Sanitation Campaign ( TSC ).But the household census data revealed that only 55 lakh household in UP had access to toilets. Which means 1.6cr toilets are 'nowhere to be found'. TSC was launched in 1999 in all states and promised to end open defeacation by 2017. It follows a principle of “low to no subsidy” where a nominal subsidy in the form of incentive is given to rural poor households for construction of permanent toilets in their households.

TSC reports VS Actual Census:

TSC reports	Actual Census
TSC reports, there are only 17.50% households without toilets in rural UP.	Census reports that more than 78% of the households do not have access to toilets
TSC reports that two districts in UP, Lakhimpur Kheri and Farrukhabad, where 100% households have toilets.	Wheras, census says that 81.7% and 76.10% households are without toilets in the Lakhimpur Kheri and Farrukhabad districts respectively.
TSC data says that 89.84% of the households in Lucknow have a toilet	But the census figures say that only 65.6% of households in Lucknow have toilets on their establishments

So, now its the state government of UP which has defeated the motto of the TSC scheme. Statistical data shows that in the last decade, of all the people defecating in open in India, UP alone accounts for 39.05%. In actual terms, 35.31 lakh households are defecating in the open in the state of which 93% of them are in rural areas.

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BWSL Goes Dark...!!

noreply@blogger.com (Varun Gurnaney) — Wed, 4 Apr 2012 13:03:00 -0700

The prestigious bridge which links the Western suburbs with the city and of which every Mumbaikar is proud of; is under trouble, again. The lights on the Bandra-Worli Sea Link do not work..!!! :O

Driving down the sea link in broad daylight isn't a problem, but after sundown, its a nightmare for drivers.Are the MSRDC waiting for an accident to happen? ( I hope the MSRDC officials are reading this while sipping their cup of tea even when a pile of files is kept on their desk, ah! A typical Goverment office scene)

Especially,the Worli end which is narrower than the other parts of the Sea-Link is dangerous as you are blinded by the high beam headlights of the on-coming traffic. Though the Worli end has some of its lamps intact, the bandra end including the perfectly-banked Reclamation track is completely dark.

Speed limits were imposed, security was beefed and speed cams were
installed after the BWSL witnessed a series of smash ups when it was
opened to public back in June 2009. Now, the dis-functioning of lighting on the 7.0 km stretch would negate these restrictions.Motorist on the sea link are being saved 'by a second' while negotiating a sharp left turn approaching from the Worli end.

"There is a technical fault in some cables. We are trying to resolve the issue on a war footing. Its just a matter of couple of days" say an MSRDC official. We should never expect anything done without delay, should we?

Or wait...is the MSRDC still celebrating the Earth Hour...??

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Mumbai Petr-Trolled....!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Varun Gurnaney) — Sat, 31 Mar 2012 10:15:00 -0700

Troll-- A new word used by the new generation 'guyz' which means fooled..!!! So, now you can guess what I mean by the post title..!! ;-)

In our city, increase in rates of the commodities is inversely proportional to the growth of infrastructure. But the per litre cost of fuel to the consumer is following an exponential graph. People are really fed up and have got themselves used to getting a lesser volume of petrol for the same price in their fuel tanks.

Protests, rallies, slogans and banners have been of no use and the Aam Aadmi has continued to bear the brunt of the rising fuel rates. Though we never ask for the bill when we get our tank full, whereas we should be asking for a DETAILED bill which would comprise of the VAT , Cess, duties and other charges levied on the amount of fuel we buy.

The amount we pay for the fuel; 26% of that is VAT tax, 16.07% is Central Excise duty, 0.07% is road development tax, 0.014% is the commission of the dealer, 0.013% are transport charges!!! And the REAL cost is just 53.3% of what you pay....!!!

For eg:
The fuel costs you Rs. 70.3per litre
VAT-- Rs. 18.3
Central Excise Duty--Rs.11.3
Road Development Tax-- Rs.1
Dealers commission--Rs.1.2
Transport Charges--Rs. 0.8
And the Actual cost of the fuel is--Rs.37.7

So, A state in which the people are distressed with the increasing inflation ,the government is imposing a burden of taxes on a basic utility like fuel..!!
I do not say that there should be no taxes levied on fuel, because without taxes, the state cannot function or grow. But they should reduces the excessive taxes imposed on such commodities..!!

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Red Bull's Crackdown In India.!!

noreply@blogger.com (Varun Gurnaney) — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 01:34:00 -0700

(Courtesy Red Bull and myhealthmaster.blogspot.com)

The energy drink which promises to "give you wings" once you consume it, has been under the scanner of the Maharashtra Food And Drug Association (FDA). The officials of the FDA has seized 16.3 Lakh of cans of Red Bull from their premise in Thane and Vikhroli on learning that the caffeine content was between 250-300 ppm (parts per million) whereas the permissible content for carbonated beverages is is 145ppm.

Red Bull is consumed by youngsters,who use it staying wide open during exam days. It is also consumed with mixing it with alcohol. Manufactures claim that its an energy drink and not a carbonated one. But when you open a can of Red Bull, there is fizz and it contains carbon dioxide. Caffeine is addictive and is commonly used in coffee, tea and soft drinks. Excessive consumption can lead to anxiety, nervousness, insomnia and other various health issues.

Red Bull makers state, "Red Bull Energy Drink contains about the same amount of caffeine as a cup of coffee, 80mg.
It is the same in the 160 countries across the world where our product is on sale. The health officials and authorities of these countries, including India, have concluded that Red Bull is safe to consume. Red Bull is not 'banned' anywhere; it would be like 'banning' coffee, colas or other caffeinated drinks".

Though there is no special standards defined for caffeine rates in energy drinks but the Food Safety And Standard Act 2006 has stated that the the drinks containing caffeine should follows the laws laid down for carbonated beverages. Special laws for the caffeine content for energy drinks are now being laid down by the Food Safety And Standard authority of India. It is trying to increase the permissible limit for the caffeine in special drinks.

The Last Flight....!!

noreply@blogger.com (Varun Gurnaney) — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 03:46:00 -0700

Kingfisher, once known for its grandeur and luxury just dived into a crisis, rather a nose-dive we should say. And boy! Is it looking worse for the Mallya’s or what!!

Tax evasion of rupees 76 crore. Debt of rupees 7,057 crore.

And as if that wasn't enough, it has made a loss of rupees 6,000 crore. (It looks like people prefer going in for cheaper airlines rather than spending extra bucks to get served by the Kingfisher hostesses.!! )

Their bank accounts are frozen, and the Central Board of Excise and Customs (CBEC) has threatened to take them to court on charges of tax evasions!

They have also taken loans from the State Bank Of India, which they are unable to repay. ICICI has asked them for more securities. Its getting worse for the beer-makers.
They are operating fewer flights day by day. Maybe they were just good with beer and calendar!!

Now the Mallya’s can consider these options:

1. Drastically reduce their operations and continue as a low scale airlines

2. Push for opening the frozen bank accounts.

3. Rope in some foreign airlines for investment

4. Rope in any private individual for investment

5. Pray to god!

In short their "Good Times" are coming to an end..!!
The clothes of the Kingfisher Calender Girls would get scantier because of the ongoing crisis

This is a caricature i made on the current KFA situtation..!!

s

"Army Tanks Out Of Ammo" Says Chief General VK Singh

noreply@blogger.com (Varun Gurnaney) — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 01:53:00 -0700

General VK Singh, who has been in news for his birth-year issue and the bribery infamy is back under scanner..!

According to Times Now, the letter which was written on March 12, 2012 states that army tanks in the country have run out of ammunition. For a shock and a blow to the government, Army chief General VK Singh had penned a letter to Prime Minister Manmohan Singh stating that the country's security is at risk.

The Army chief has been in news this week as he claimed that he was offered a bribery of Rs 14 crore to clear a batch of sub-standard equipment for the Indian army which included military trucks and other vehicles. Times Now sources have said that the CBI may record his statement in this regard on March 30, 2012.

Defense minister AK Anthony said that Singh had notified him about the bribe stating that a middleman offered a 14 crore envelope to him , though he declined the offer he did not
want to pursue the case.

"I have always said the truth. When General VK Singh told me about the incident, I was shocked. The Army chief told me it was Tejinder Singh who offered him the bribe but he said he doesn't want to pursue it," Antony said.
Antony also stated that once reports on the bribe offer was made public on Monday; even though there was no formal complaint, he ordered an inquiry.

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Porn “Stars” in Gujarat Assembly..!!

noreply@blogger.com (Varun Gurnaney) — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 02:07:00 -0700

BJP does it again!! Advani must be so proud!..

Just a couple of days have passed since the issue of Karnataka porn gate, which was an issue of national shame and disgrace, faded out. And now we have a fresh episode to marvel about! BJP just can’t see the country in honour can it?

This time, the BJP MP’s have done their ‘job’ in Gujarat assembly! Now let me walk you through the incident.

The Gujarat assembly was in session. These two ministers, Shankar Chaudhury and Jetha Bharwad were, apparently, getting bored (Either that or seriously sex starved!). So they start watching something in a tablet.

A senior journalist, Janak Dave has alleged that the 2 ministers started with Swami Vivekanand’s photo’s, then saw cartoon pictures of Sonia Gandhi, Priyanka Gandhi, and then moved on to seeing obscene images of girls!

The representatives have (obviously!) denied these allegations but congress is demanding a probe into this!

Now, I must say, BJP surely no how to mix work with pleasure...

Three(Some) Ministers Watch Porn In K'taka Assembly..!!

noreply@blogger.com (Varun Gurnaney) — Sat, 17 Mar 2012 10:00:00 -0700

Many a times it happens that we are doing something thoughtful and beneficial and it turns out to be a blunder. You are then looked with suspicious eyes.

We all realize and know how infamous our government is, and for which acts and deeds they are famous for.
But this time, it was something disgraceful and horrifying. Like always, they had a prompt answer and justification for their doing.

What looks like a disgraceful and sordid act is actually an honest, misjudged act. I am here to try to present you the other side of the “misjudged” story.

Recently there was a big fuss about these three Karnataka ministers, Lakshman Savdi, C C Patil and Krishna B Palemar - watching a rather obscene video in public.

These representatives were caught watching porn videos on their cell phone--now that is bad, it was worse to know that it was been done while the legislative assembly was in process .The ministers were caught in the act even as the House was in the middle of the heated debate on the recent hoisting of Pakistan flag in Sindagi in Bijapur district. Not realizing that a hoard of news cameras got a glimpse of this little stunt and the next thing you know is that the video has spread all over the media.

Now , lets not come hard on them! May be the guys really wanted to know about the atrocities on girls! After all one of them was the woman welfare minister! And what better way than seeing a video of a girl, dancing and stripping, right inside the parliament!

Well I must say I am impressed with his dedication to his job. I mean even in between a debate, all the woman "welfare" minister is thinking was about his job!!
( I rather say fantasying, about his 'job').

( The dude caught in the act.!!)

And yeah it is possible that the other guy didn’t know about rave parties. I mean he is what, 40-45? How much of the world has he seen! What’s wrong in studying about rave parties abroad by seeing an Indian girl dancing and stripping?

But that poor guy couldn’t complete his research also! He had bad eyes, couldn’t see the video! Pity!And after that they’ve to resign! I couldn’t imagine a worse day!

This happens a lot in our country; an issue comes up, it grabs the headlines of the Times Of India , is flashed under breaking news but then we don't know how, the journalist, editors and the people forget about such grave issues which once were the talk among the people, eg: Kasab-ko-hang-karo-protest, CWG scam, Lokpal bill, Aarushi murder case, Mumbai potholes issue, Adarsh scam, my list can go on...!! The point is, why is our memory so short?

And now these representatives have escaped as the people have forgotten, but they should never forget that the public 'forgets' but never 'forgives'. Lets see how well does the Supreme Court justifies this case.
And we hope Mr.Savadi had a great birthday bash.