What chores can your children do age by age?

My rule of thumb is kids can do far more than we give them credit for.  If you expect a good job, they’ll give you pretty close!  If you expect them to do a terrible job, you won’t be disappointed.  Set your standards higher. Chores are a blessing for both the children (future adults) and the parents.

Remembering that a baby does not come directly from the womb with the ability to eat steak and potatoes, it is a learned skill. The kids who haven’t done a specific chore before do not usually just know how to do it. That’s okay; don’t let it limit you or them.  Teaching someone how to do a chore doesn’t take much time, especially for children.  They are quick and eager learners.

Remember, we are creatures of habit.  Repetition is the key for getting something down well and doing it in the right way.  Each child is unique and different.  One child may easily learn to do the laundry while another struggles for months.  Again, repetition is the key. Don’t give up.  These are necessary skills for life.

We do not consider daily personal chores as “chores”.  Responsibilities such as: brushing teeth, combing hair, getting dressed, saying prayers, making bed, tidying up the room are not put on chore charts and are expected to be a part of each person’s routine.

The handi-vac is a great tool for little kids doing cleaning.  When we give them the stairs to vacuum or other little odd jobs they can pull it off the charger and easily vacuum something.  I highly recommend owning a mini-vacuum when training and having your younger children helping with the chores and housework.

You’ll notice we only categorize the kids from ages 4 to 8 and 8 and up.  I firmly believe kids can do what they put their minds to and what we except them to do.  If we expect great things from them, they know they can do it.  We as parents do more limiting of our children by perception of “rules and age limits.”  When we do this our children miss out on valuable life skills that could be taught at an earlier age.  The earlier they learn the faster they master these responsibilities and skills.  The more practice in the basic skills the more free time they will have later in learning other skills valuable for living their life’s mission.

In our home, we do not allow limitations to get in the way, so if a child age 8 is ready to start washing dishes– we give her/him the job.  Here are chores we have our children ages 4-8 do regularly or semi-regularly.  As parents we take part when we can, but this is the children’s training time and we respect that and hold to it.  When we do step in it is to re-train, enjoy time working alongside the child, or to inspire motivation.

Ages 4-8 usually do:

• Wipe down table, chairs and benches.
• Clean windows
• Clean sinks
• Clean mirrors
• Dust
• Fold socks
• Put away folded clothes
• Organize bookshelves
• Clean out clutter under sinks
• Clean up and organize closets
• Water plants
• Feed animals
• Sweep the front porch
• Clean up the backyard
• Clean up clutter off the back deck
• Weed the garden
• Wash walls
• Wipe down cupboards
• Vacuum stairs
• Clean sinks
• Wipe and sanitize counters
• Clean toilets
• Polish wood
• Empty dishwasher
• Dry dishes

Chores for kids 8 and up

• Make meals
• Help make shopping lists
• Organize and clean pantry
• Clean and organize cupboards
• Wash dishes
• Do laundry- all parts including folding and putting away
• Sweep and mop floors
• Organize linen closets
• Vacuum
• Clean bathrooms: toilet, sink, tub, shower, mirrors, floors, etc.
• We assign them a room to keep picked up during the day.
• Help clean the garage
• Take out trash
• Help tend to younger children
• And any of the chores from the first list. 

Each of these chores are put on a sticky note and onto a dry erase board.  We switch them around each week.  The older kids do some on the first list, but we don’t add things from the second list to the younger kids’ chart unless they are ready.

Children can do much more than the average parent gives them credit for or allows them to do.  There you have it—the list of responsibilities we use in our family with great success.  Training your child to be a Mother Helper is also training them to have and to master valuable life-long skills.

The post Chores for Kids Aiding in Family Work first appeared on Classical Mothering.

Parents often heed the call to homeschool and pull their children out of public education and then panic. I was no exception when I began homeschooling. It can be terrifying to have this enormous responsibility sitting in your lap. When your child was born, and this beautiful, innocent baby was place in your arms, you looked into his or her eyes and just felt love. God trusts you exclusively with His child to raise and mould her. Nothing has changed. Our lack of confidence comes in when it comes to this heavy word called “education”. Never mind that you’ve raised your child thus far, mentored him in learning to speak, taught him to walk—which is the hardest thing a human can learn, potty training, teaching him the Word, feeding him each meal day by day, made choices in all areas for his best and highest good, when it comes to education we feel inadequate. Why? Somewhere along the lines we were sold the idea that only “professionals” could teach. We most likely went through the tedious, and often intimidating, structure of public school and have no clue how to recreate it at home. I dare to say that it’s the last thing you should do—to recreate public school at home.

The Relaxed Curriculum Plan

The legendary John Holt’s books are essential for the homeschooling mom. I love his argument for not shoving a curriculum down a person’s throat to learn.

“I don’t believe now that this was Lisa’s feeling at all. Far from having decided that reading was not worth knowing, she probably wanted to learn to read very much. What she rightly resented was my taking upon myself to teach her without being asked. When she learned to read, it was going to be by her own choosing, at her own time, and in her own way. The spirit of independence in learning is one of the most valuable assets a learner can have, and we who want to help children’s learning, at home or in school, must learn to respect and encourage it.

“Proud and sensitive children are particularly likely to react this way. Knowing Lisa to be such a child, I worried a little about what might happen when she got to school and had to submit formal instruction. Which she resisted it? It seemed that she might. Fortunately she solved the problem by teaching herself to read. Nobody seemed to know how she did it. In fact, this is something that, in general, we know very little about. Many thousands of children teach themselves to read, every year; we might do well to find out how many such children there are, and how they taught themselves.” (1)

And I’ve had a similar experience with several of my children, including my autistic daughter, Madison. We did some inconsistent instruction, which she would patiently submit to. When I slowed down on it, I noticed she was improving consistently on her own in reading. She would participate in family scripture time and family reading time which is where we saw this daily progress. Writing has worked the same for her. She is a note writer. She always has communicated with me on paper in her spare time, especially if it was to ask for something. For many years, it was a picture. Then it turned into a series of pictures that told a story, and without me realizing the transition, it is pictures (which are her favorite) with whole sentences. I never helped her spell the words, but I’m sure she asked a sibling and after a certain amount of time she memorized how to spell these words herself.

As fear clouds the mind of the parent, they cling mightily to what they know or assume to be the best or only way. Fear based homeschooling is where I found myself going back the moment I started comparing my child to another, heard another parent brag and lost my own confidence, lost my faith in the direction God sent me, and/or began to assume the worst of my child. Thankfully, God would direct me back on track to the more genuine learning process for my family and back to the basics.

Trust the learning process

“Trust children. Nothing could be more simple-or more difficult. Difficult, because to trust children, we must trust ourselves-and most of us were taught as children we could not be trusted.” (1) And to take it one step further, God trusts us implicitly to be the parent of our child. Isn’t that enough; knowing He trusts us in our imperfect state, to raise, nurture, and teach? And, even better, He will continue to direct our paths if we lean on Him. (Job 33:11, Ether 2:6)

As a parent, I set the goals and standards, provide the mentoring and inspiration, and tend carefully to the learning and growing environment assuring that it is safe, healthy, and conducive to encourage and nurture the love of learning. Just as I plant seeds in my garden each season, carefully cultivating the soil, paying special attention to the needs of the seeds, and later the budding and growing plants, as a parent I continue to nurture the love of learning in like manner. I trust the process of the seeds to grow just as I trust the process for my children to learn and become well-rounded, well-educated, good people.

When You Recognize that You’re Comparing the Child to you

“Young children tend to learn better than grownups (and better than they themselves will when they are older) because they use their minds in a special way. In short, children have a style of learning that fits their condition, and which they use naturally and well until we train them out of it. We like to say that we send children to school to teach them to think. What we do, all too often, is to teach them to think badly, to give up a natural and powerful way of thinking in favor of a themed that does not work well for them and that we rarely use ourselves.” (1)

Oftentimes we’ll hold our children up to unspoken and spoken unrealistic standards. Our expectations of them is often skewed by what we expect of ourselves and what we think others would expect of them. This mentality causes us to be harder on them, sometimes forceful, oftentimes critical, and usually impatient wondering “what is wrong with her?”. When we step back and really see what each individual child’s talents and weaknesses are and get rid of all comparison, is when we can be relaxed, confident, and successful mentors/teachers to our children.

Ignoring what “Others” think

Guilt is the gift that keeps on giving. But, I’d like to add to that. Fear of what others think is similar, but more paralyzing. Sometimes the two go together like peanut butter and jelly, but not in so pleasant a way for mom.

Every individual on the planet is different, has a different mission in life, different characteristics and learns in their own unique way. Learning is not a one size fits all, though we are taught that by government schooling. I remember, with my third child Benjamin, sitting in an elementary school classroom for a parent-teacher conference and she was voicing her concern that he was nearly ten and couldn’t read yet. I nodded unconcerned. I had been working with him, the school had been working with him, but I knew he just wasn’t ready. (We weren’t homeschooling at the time.) She then told me her biggest concern was that there was a “window of time” for learning to read and if he passed this he’d never learned to read. I looked her right in the eye. I don’t know if she really believed this lie, but she was surely selling it. I asked her about those who learned as adults, or who lost the capacity to read due to accident or illness and relearned again. She kept insisting that this was the way it was. There was no convincing me. He was my first child to learn to read so late, but I knew he could and would do it when the time was right. This experience set me up to be more patient with other children that followed suit later—each learning in their own timeline.

I pulled him out of school within a few months, and after an additional a few months, he came to me ready to learn. And learn he did. This particular child does have some learning disabilities in the reading department, but his skills in math and art are outstanding. His desire is to become an architect, so therefore his strength in reading isn’t as important as it is for his older sister who’s goal it is to be a professional writer. God gives us strengths and weaknesses, it is important to learn to trust that there will be both so you can work with both objectively. When we look to the opinions of the skeptics, the critics, or the fear-mongers we can easily become discouraged. When we look to those who brag and openly declare criticism we can want to quit. Look to God and your family. Notice when you’re listening to the wrong messages because they cause you to feel badly. Trust in your God-given abilities to work with your child and you will be successful.

Homeschool skeptics are a dime a dozen, offering a plethora of unsolicited opinions and advice. I think I’ve heard it all after all these years. Fears can come from anywhere, but they are particularly loud when we focus on them. When the fears and the voices of opposition drown out your confidence and joy take time to refocus on what excites and motivates you. Sometimes it means take a week off to delve into new talks or a book that will reassure and re-inspire you. Sometimes it helps to look around at the ills and problems in society to remind you of why you chose this path. No matter how it comes, know you can do this. You are a pioneer in many ways and know you aren’t alone in this journey.

Sources:



1. John Holt, How Children Learn

The post Homeschool Moms: Ways you Can Do This first appeared on Classical Mothering.

“There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.” ~William Shakespeare

My nine year old daughter Bella, is number seven in a line of nearly eleven children.
Oftentimes she is the one who escapes the work. When she did have to work, she learned to throw enough of a fit to get summoned out of the room to stand in time-out or to babysit a sibling. Children aren’t fools, they are quite intelligent.

Time and patience are a mother’s allies. I knew she would mature enough with positive expectation. I’m not a mother who gives up because the child doesn’t do something. But, I also try to make it fair according to what they emotionally as well as physically can handle. My daughter emotionally couldn’t handle certain assignments and would completely break down. Like cleaning up her room; it is too big of a job for her to emotionally and mentally grasp alone or with someone near her age. But, she is good at other things such as folding socks, helping make dinner, or bathing a sibling.

This past year has brought many changes for my daughter, changes I never expected or planned, but God led us to to help her in her growth and maturity. She went from solely homeschooling, to going to German school, to moving to the top of her class. She can translate as an assistant for her teacher and helps her sister who is also in German school. She has excelled in personal responsibility. She makes sure she has a lunch made and that she has breakfast money for the backerei when they leave every morning. Her homework is done before she goes to bed and her clothes and bag set out. She wakes herself up at 5:30 am, a time she chose as she knows how slow she moves, and she sets her own alarm clock each night. All this she has done without reminding or telling her what she needs to do. She knows in our family, if certain things aren’t completed by your own choosing you go without, no one else will do them for you. In various other ways, we expect and teach service. It’s always a delicate balance. We advocate and expect personal responsibility, but some of our children have learned it differently than others. She is still working on other areas of personal responsibility (self-government) such as bathing regularly, but this is where I step in until she is the one begging me to take a shower.

All this she does daily, but in other ways she is overwhelmed, so I keep this in consideration. Last night, through a long line of unfortunate circumstances, we were locked out of the house before going to a dinner appointment with friends. My husband still had the rental car keys (from our trip to Italy we just came home from) in his pocket so in two trips he got us to our friends’ home. On the way back, to wait for the locksmith, my husband and I chose Bella to be the “older” kid to help us bring back the youngest two. She handled it like a champion. She fit perfectly in the role of big sister, even helping to bath her four year old sister and get her in pajamas. No one nagging. No one tattle-taling on Bella. She did as she was expected.

It is hard to not to compare; comparison is unfair. Her oldest two sisters were doing dishes, laundry, gardening, etc. at her age. None of her older siblings broke down at the mere sight of a pile of laundry to fold. But, they aren’t her. She is made differently. Comparison to each other has never inspired any of my children. It is my responsibility to see the good within each child and to help them see it. Sometimes, it takes a lot longer than I would expect or want. You can’t make flowers grow. You can only create good soil, plant the seeds, water them (with praise, love and patience), give them an appropriate amount of light, and in their own time, in God’s time, they will grow and then blossom.

If I did things my way all the time, I would never achieve the results I so strongly desire. Mothers who know, do things God’s way. Mothers who know, wait for the right time to plant. Mothers who know lavish love, patience, and praise at appropriate times. Mothers who know, don’t give up. As I relearn in different ways with each of my precious offspring, children live what you expect of them.

The post Children Live What you Expect first appeared on Classical Mothering.

When you are overwhelmed with the amount of expectation you have for yourself.  I always suggest for moms to write a list of “shoulds” .  Think, “good moms should…” and write out, “I should ….”  Then cross out should and replace it with “Could if I wanted to.”  Then re-evaluate your list.  How many of those things are essential, or your life couldn’t be without?

Many times we mothers live with the mistaken notion that it is our job to individually pour out specialized time and learning for each child for hours a day.  It is an unaccomplishable myth.  In my twenty years as a mother, I have learned there are only some essential mothering principles and skills, and then everything else falls under the categories “important when there’s time and energy” and “a good thing to do, but not necessary.”  In my opinion, some of the essentials are:

*A safe, loving home environment
*Gospel learning, church on Sundays
*Having a healthy marriage
*The baby is the lesson
*An abundance of chores and responsibilities
*Family read-aloud time, mother-children read-aloud time
*Mentoring Moments (see this article I wrote)
*Being available (with healthy limitations)

In an age where Pinterest fills our minds with ideas of what “can” be done and Facebook fills our minds with what is being done in homes around the world, is almost too much.  It’s like walking into a candy shop with millions of varieties to choose from.  Some are more attractive than others.  If you watch for long enough you see what others are choosing and it distracts you from your original choices.  But in the end, too many choices overwhelm us and the comparison game is a losing game.  We rarely ever are the winners when we compare ourseves.

This time in your life is a beautiful one.  The most important thing for your children to do is play, play, play.  “Play is the highest form of research” ~Albert Einstein 

“The great rule is: Play on the surface, and the work takes place beneath. …As I have noted growth of intelligence is never a conscious process; conceptual changes always take place below awareness. Of what is the child aware in fantasy play? He is aware of the reality of his own play creation, a reality that exist neither in he world out there nor in the concrete concepts of the child’s brain. Play reality, like adult reality, is neither world nor brain; it is world plus mind-brain.” (The Call to Brilliance) Origin: The Magical Child

Some things we enjoy are:

Homemade bubbles play dough, lip gloss, bath bombs, volcanoes, bubble wands, jewelry, musical instruments, pom-pom animals, food crafts, Popsicle stick crafts, and puppets.
Face painting
Sewing a pocket, cross-stitching, plastic canvas
Puppet Shows
Puzzles- Make your own too
Playtime importance
Play, reading aloud, beads, legos,
boxes, paper,
toys that encourage thinking
HABA blocks
Reg blocks

Focus on having a learning environment with No TV!

Great Matriarchs

I often look to great literature, to the great matriarchs, for examples on excellent, responsible mothering.  Often we look to our peers as examples, but looking higher to great women, can inspire you in kind, helpful ways.  The following classic books have heroines that have taught me over the years.  These women usually live a simple lifestyle and are gentle mothers. As you read, you experience first-hand as they solve problems, parent their children, nurture their marriages, and care for their own needs.  Reading aloud has been on my top five list of ways to connect with my children, meet many unspoken needs, and a truly enjoyable experience.  Because of this, I encourage you to read some of these books aloud.

Marmie in Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
Mother in Little Britches
Ma Ingalls in Little House on the Prairie
Mama in Mama’s Bank Account
Mamma in Applesauce Needs Sugar
Marilla in Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery
Mrs. Pepper in Five Little Peppers and How They Grew
Mama in All-of-a-Kind-Family by Sydney Taylor
Mrs. Gilbert in Cheaper by the Dozen
Mamma in The Great Brain by John Fitzgerald
Aunt Abigail in Understood Betsy

Peace and Joy

For most of my life I was searching for inner peace and joy. I finally realized that true joy is in serving others and by extension serving God;  and other joys come to me in finding pleasure in reading, study, and growing.  I realized happiness is a choice, but a contrived choice.  We have to decide to be happy.  If I’m not feeling happiness and I’m doing what I know I should do to feel it I ask myself the following questions:

Have I had adquate sleep/rest?
Have I eaten enough?
Do I have a hobby or two that I enjoy regularly?
Am I complaining inside or verbally?
Am I seeing my family or children as the enemy?
I’m I focusing on my negative feelings such as resentment, selfishness, anger, or frustration?
When was the last time I exersized?

It is important to fill your spiritual well.  Each day, find a few things that nuture your spiritual self first thing in the morning.  A devotional, stretching, reading a chapter in a book, singing, praying…are a few ideas of things you can do.  For years, I took my kids on regular walks with me and we all got our exercise.  Now, I let my older kids take them and I go to the gym.  Sometimes, it helps to get out of the house and have a change of scenery.  Going to the zoo, a park, the mall, or even visiting a friend can refresh your energy.

Managing Conflict

Lastly, managing conflict.  Letting the kids outside for a few hours a day keeps them from boredom which breeds contention.  I personally avoid too many mom-intensive tasks.  If I’m going from thing to thing all day I end up grouchy and unsatisfied.  You are provider of a safe, learning, loving environment and the kids need to make more choices, help more, and by extension they will grow more.

I refuse to get involved in squabbles unless someone has done something to harm another or is doing something that will keep them out of heaven.  Everything else I allow them to resolve.  If it’s too contentious, they are idle, tired, or being selfish.  I work on those specific behaviors and go back to what I was doing.  Idle means a chore or outside time.  Tired means naptime.  Selfish means service time and that can be started by listening to scriptures on audio, then telling me what they can do to serve such as making someone’s bed.

http://tjed-mothers.com/2014/10/are-children-the-enemy/ 
http://www.thehomemaking-cottage.com/how-the-environment-in-the-home-affects-children/ 

The post Should’s, Conflict in the Home, and How to Manage first appeared on Classical Mothering.

We all need a little boost sometimes. I never consider myself a worn-out, tired, old mom. I’m not. I will vehemently reject and oppose any title or label that even resembles those words. But, seasons come and go, our freshness, our passion, our interests in various aspects of our lives may wane from time to time.

I’m one who needs to keep feeding my spirit with fresh, enthusiastic, positive ideas and energy. I was born a natural optimist all the way to the tips of my fingers and toes, but even optimism doesn’t keep the clouds away, or troubles from weighing down hard on the mind and spirit.

Reading is my muse. Reading is an essential pastime and one that I feel strongly that no mother should neglect. The best places to find renewal are inspiration from God, in friendships, in stories, in new ideas; all of these can be found in the right kinds of books.

Within the pages of the following four books, I’ve found inspiration, renewal, examples of dedicated motherhood, words of comfort, words of wisdom, and women who love their roles as mothers; and women who claim them unashamed, and who dedicate themselves completely.

Choosing Motherhood

compiled by Lia Collings

“But I already know what I will choose: I will be a mother. I may never have any worldly reward to show for my efforts on any given day. I will have added responsibilities without a promotion, extra-long hours without a bonus, and monotonous tasks that will be mine alone to perform.  But many moments and people have prepared me to choose motherhood as a priority.” pg. 88-89

This book is filled with essays written by articulate well-educated mothers from the Yale community who chose motherhood over continuing their intensive schooling. The old me would have been put off by the very idea that this was only written by women who came from this environment. I’m so glad I don’t think like that anymore. This was a treasure trove of wisdom, good and inspiring stories, and reminders that we as mothers all have to make these choices at one point—choose motherhood or choose the world.

Can I confess something? The above quote is what I’ve always felt, stood for, strived and lived for. BUT, I have often struggled with pride and after so many years of reading motherhood books I stopped reading them. I felt I knew all that I needed to know. After all, I have two adult children. As I’m more than halfway through my pregnancy with my eleventh child, I sometimes forget to stop and feel joyful about what I’m doing. But, as I’ve learned to overcome this pride (still working on this!) I’ve opened up to reading many joyful books that I might not have read otherwise and missed out on the wonderful messages shared.

I don’t believe this book is just for young moms who need encouragement in motherhood. I believe this is for all mothers who sometimes need reminders of when they first made these choices, all the times they’ve chosen well, and to get more inspiration from young, fresh minds, of how JOYFUL this decision is too.

The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio: How My Mother Raised 10 Kids on 25 Words or Less

by Terry Ryan

Evelyn Ryan is a new hero of mine. First, I have to say, I love her name and have a daughter with the first name of Evelyn. She had very little support from her alcoholic husband in raising their ten children. He often withheld money and because of his addiction didn’t do much as far as breadwinning other than his nine to five.

Evelyn was creative and resourceful. As a woman in the 1950’s her options were more limited as to what she could do to bring in extra money. A well-meaning pastor suggested taking in others people’s laundry. She smiled and left knowing she had something a little less drudgery-inducing and much more creative up her sleeve. These were the days of contests for prizes big and small and money. She was the reason they kept their house, she was able to scrap together nice Christmases, pay for the second mortgage her husband took out on the house and didn’t tell her till it was almost to late, and so much more.

And yet, this woman was so forgiving. She accepted her husband as he was, still speaking up when she felt injustice was being served to her or her children, but letting things go. She had an amazing sense of humor with I always admire in others.

I turned to this book because when pregnant and postpartum I am a little more fragile emotionally. I had to take a break on books with intensity and this was a wonderful book I was inspired to turn to.

This gem had given me joy, giggles, and gratitude as its been my nighttime reading. When having an asthma attack in the middle of the night, I found solace in her darling rhymes:

Poison Ivy

Victims share a symptom,

Which is:

Everyone who has it

Itches.

She specialized in 25 words or less. She would have been great at Twitter. It was the 1950’s version.

Here are a few other quotes I appreciated:

“With dad in the hospital, she realized more than ever that the burden of the family’s survival–and sanity–rested entirely on her shoulders. She needed to get Dad home so that she could be home.”

“We can probably live without the TV, the refrigerator handle, and the car, but without that WASHING MACHINE, we are a mere load-of-clothes away from The Grapes of Wrath around here.”

I cannot express enough how much I love this book! I love it for many reasons, some of which are: having 10 kids myself, I identify so much with some of her trials and how she deals with them. I much prefer to read about others disasters and trials than focus on my own, she is inspirational, and I love that she uses her life to inspire her writing—I do the same.

At the end of her life, all ten of her children came home to be with her. The love and devotion her children had for her is evident throughout the story, by the author and how she wrote about her mother, and in their diligence in being there to the end. What an example of womanhood.

This book was healing for me on so many levels. I would have grabbed my journal and wrote about my feelings right then, but it disappeared from my room. It’s probably sitting in a kid’s room doubling as a coloring book. Read this wonderful book, mothers, you are sure to love it.

Mother Carey’s Chickens

by Kate Douglas Wiggin

“Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes, by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers, and sisters, aunts and cousins, but only one mother in the whole world.” ― Kate Douglas Wiggin

If you’ve ever seen the 1963 movie Summer Magic with Hayley Mills, Dorothy McGuire, Burl Ives you know the story of Mother Carey’s Chickens. Written by Kate Douglas Wiggin, author of Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm, this book is heart-warming, sweet, and shows a healthy example of a loving family in spite of trials large and small. And, the book is ALWAYS better than the movie, so if you haven’t seen the movie yet, or even if you have, you must read the book. It’s filled with joy.

Other quotes I enjoyed:

“Well, it was a time of preparation, and it rigors and self-denials must be cheerfully faced. She ought to be thankful that she was able to get a simple dinner that her children could eat; she ought to be thankful that her beef and parsnips stews and cracker puddings and cornbread were being transmuted into blood and brawn and brain-tissue, to help the world along somewhere a little later! She ought to be grateful that it was her blessed fortune to be sending four rosy, laughing, vigorous young people down the snowy street to the white–painted academy; that it was her good luck to see four heads bending eagerly over their books around evening lamp, and have them all turned to her for help and encouragement in the hard places.”

“No whimpering, madam! You can’t have the joys of motherhood without some of its pangs! Think of your blessings, and don’t be a coward!—”

 

The Gift of Giving Life: Rediscovering the Divine Nature of Pregnancy and Birth 

by Felice Austin, Lani Axman, Heather Farrell, Robyn Allgood, Sheridan Ripley

“Pregnancy and childbirth are not to be feared; they are divinely appointed processes that can be joyful, spiritual, and bring families closer to God. “The Gift of Giving Life: Rediscovering the Divine Nature of Pregnancy and Birth” offers something that no other pregnancy book has before – a spiritual look at pregnancy and birth by and for Latter-day Saint women and other women of faith. Through moving stories from women in the scriptures, women from early Latter-day Saint history, and dozens of modern mothers, “The Gift of Giving Life” assures readers that God cares deeply about the entire procreative process.

Topics covered include: constant nourishment, meditation, fear, pain, healing from loss, the physical and spiritual ties between the Atonement and childbirth, the role of the Relief Society in postpartum recovery, and more. Birthing women, birth attendants, childbirth educators, and interested readers of all faiths are invited to rediscover within these pages the divinity and gift of giving life.” (goodreads.com)

I have been inspired and uplifted as I have been reading through the various essays. The love how many of the women speak of Heavenly Mother and our connection to her, but in appropriate and reverent ways. I loved how varied each essay is from the next, from Mother Eve, to the pioneer women giving birth, to personal birth stories, to healing. You know how you feel after eating delicious chocolate chip cookies and milk? Satisfied and full. That is how I feel after reading each essay in this book. I’m so grateful for the recommendation from another mother to read this book. I hope you feel the same.

It’s normal to have ups in downs in life. When you are in need of a little boost, I hope you find that and more within the leaves of these books.

The post Four Books to Inspire you in Motherhood first appeared on Classical Mothering.

Supplies:

• old black gardening glove-should be soft, not rough
• pink, peach, white, yellow, brown pom-poms all are large except the pink one
• one farmer’s hat to fit on the peach pom-pom
• 10 wiggly eyes
• black, pink, orange, and brown felt
• glue gun & glue sticks

Directions:

Glue the peach pom-pom on the index finger. Glue the pink one on the pinky finger. The others can go where you wish.

Glue the eyes on all the pom-poms and glue the hat on the peach one.
Make little triangles for ears for the brown one which is a dog. Then make ears, a tummy and black little hooves for the piggy. The ears should stand straight up. The yellow pom-pom is a duck. Make little feet and a beak with the orange. The white one is a sheep. Make some little ears.

When they look like little animals, then you are done!

Now you can play “Old MacDonald Had A Farm” and have a puppet!

The post Old MacDonald Glove Puppet first appeared on Classical Mothering.

When I was a very young girl, with an active imagination, I spent hours pouring over books. My daughter Evelyn, who is
currently three, does this now everyday for an hour more, or until she falls asleep. Because she’s a girl after my own heart, we keep her stack ready of thirty to forty books which include Disney stories old and new, a large selection of Dr. Suess, and a random sampling of I Can Read books like the Berenstain Bears or Frog and Toad. It was in a book that I learned that dogs could indeed be bigger than houses and at four years old I would have gone to my friend’s house a few houses away, but I was so certain that large dog was there as soon as I opened the door. My dad was skeptical, but he had no idea nor imagination. That dog kept me safe in the house as no four year old has any business traveling down the road by oneself.

The three Little Bears Golden book along with The Little Red Hen Golden Book taught me many lessons. Animals had feelings and normal lives. The Little Red Hen opened my eyes to my first decorating lessons. I spent hours studying her bedroom at the back of the book. The Magic Dragon brought more color and delicious possibilities to my mind and imagination. Go Dogs Go always ended with a party and I learned that all parties need hats and blowers. This tradition my daughter Madison still insists on today; she has also studied the party for hours and days of her life in Go Dogs Go!

Books read aloud connected me to my family and parents and during some of the toughest times in my life you could find me sitting in a library reading and writing. Sometimes, I would just sit because my thoughts are always clearer in places full of books.

I gulped down the entire collection of Sherlock Holmes with my morning breakfasts of cinnamon and sugar toast, extra butter. Bathroom time was never boring when I was solving a mystery with Nancy Drew and trying to avoid chores. My passion for the workings of the body were fed through the medical self-help books my parents kept in our home library. I shared this love with my family by creating an A to Z guide in a song. Abbey Alligator had allergies, Betty Ballerina had Bells Palsy and by the time I got to Jessica Jogger with jock itch my parents realized there was a lot more learning that needed to be done and my song was abruptly ended with snorts of laughter on their part. I was eleven.

As I was nearing my early teen years, a best friend introduced me to Anne of Green Gables, and it completely changed the
way I saw the world. It was much more colorful and friendly. I was only limited by my imagination, and everything should be named and named beautifully. Gilbert Blythe was my first love and Green Gables my home away from Home. I don’t think I slept until all the books in the series were greedily read.

During my teen years, I disappeared into Interview with a Vampire, reread The Hiding Place more times than I can count, and found a fascination with self-help books of all natures: how to flirt, make your own facials, how to read body language, and homemaking. I drove all my friends crazy by quoting Miss Manners and correcting their ill-manners and wore an apron around the house whenever I could.

As a young mom, I somehow took on a crazy notion: I didn’t have time for literature, I only had time for self-help books. I devoured them. I read every pregnancy and motherhood book that interested me and how-to-do-everything-yourself books.

Thankfully I wizened up at some point in my twenties and started enjoying memoirs, biographies, autobiographies, and great and sometimes not so great literature. When I began homeschooling my children I realized that while I knew some of the classics, I was but a babe in a library. A whole world of possibilities and unknown greatness was now laid before me with a glorious invitation: read. Learn. Enjoy. But read. Up until this time I only read at night or would go weeks in between reading. I believed myself too busy to read. I was only fooling myself. I just didn’t make it essential to read regularly and “shock of shocks” during the day! I smile at my naivety.

Today, I devour hundreds of books a year, dozens of books a month. Classics, great literature, essay compilations, short stories, children’s books, religious books, self-help books, books on books…well, you get the idea. The list is endless. Reading has improved my thinking. Reading has improved my logic and reasoning. Reading has helped illuminate human nature and makes it easy for me to see broadly and with more clarity. Reading has made me a better person, wife, mother, daughter, friend, writer, business woman, homeschooler, gospel scholar, and so forth. Reading so much and so often has made me a faster reading. I understand more. It’s improved my vocabulary and my critical thinking skills. The amazing fact is—reading does this to everyone who chooses to indulge, make habit, provide time for, and just does it. Its a simple formula: reading good books makes you a better person and expands your mind. It’s simple.

I’m unapologetically informal with books. I choose to own them more often than borrow because of this. Everyone finds their own relationship with books that works best for them. I shared a meme the other day on Facebook about how people who dog ear pages are monsters and proclaimed myself a dog ear monster. Lest one worries that I don’t own a bookmark, I’m just as obsessed with collecting these as I am about adding to my six thousand volume home library. I love and I use them. I also use anything else available: receipts, postcards, scribbled paper, reminder notes, the flap of a book jacket, photographs, or other random items that are thin in nature. I write in my books, I highlight my books, I put notes in the front or back. I record my thoughts. I journal. I quote other people. I dog ear pages for quotes to record later, sometimes to mark a page, but more often to save important pages that are also underlined. I do workshops, classes, write articles, teach from, and reference often from the books I read that I love having my favorite references easy to find. My books are an extension of who I am and reflect what I think and believe.

I often see book snobs talking about how they only buy the most beautiful editions, the fanciest illustrations, and so forth. I have too suffered from my own form of book snobbery and have many beautiful and collectible editions, but I don’t get much pleasure from them. I won’t mark those ones up or dog ear or reference from these books. I usually have multiple copies of these particular works for the very reasons stated above. I need books to be a part of my daily life. I don’t live in a museum. I have too many chubby, little, curious hands around learning about life in our home.

Anne Fadiman has to be one of my favorite fellow book lovers. In her book Ex Libris: Confessions of a Common Reader she so openly expresses her informal and passionate relationship with books. I can’t read her book often enough; it’s liberating for readers like me.

“It’s not that I think that computers don’t have their place, but surely their place is not in bed, which is my favorite place to read, and surely their place is not snuggled up with a cat in your lap in an old armchair. You can’t have your laptop computer and your cat in your lap simultaneously, while trying to manage a cup of tea, which you might spill on your computer. On the other hand, if you spilled your cup of tea on your book — well, Charles Lamb would probably just like it better. He once said that he particularly liked books that had old muffin crumbs in them. Muffin crumbs in your computer would not be a good idea.”
― Anne Fadiman

The post One Woman’s Relationship with Books first appeared on Classical Mothering.

Yesterday took a lot of my strength as it was spent in many useful ways. I’m five and a half months along with another precious child. With each pregnancy I’ve learned to be more gentle with myself. I’ve learned to listen to my body. I’ve learned to take the ebbs and flows of energy and make use of the increases, but not so much that I deplete myself, and to be joyful in the decreases. As a young mother I still had a lot of the false sense of invincibility that comes with youth. As a result, I wasn’t careful about my eating habits, neglected sleep, exhausted myself, and pushed myself to my limits on all levels. In short, I was careless.

Over the years, the precious gift of mortality is becoming increasingly a part of my consciousness. I am grateful for each day that I have on earth and with my posterity, dear friends, and extended family. This past year brought on many more health challenges for me and three miscarriages. I knew there was another child waiting, but each time I became pregnant it was followed quickly by another disappointment and loss. However, before I officially found out I was pregnant, I was serving in the temple and had a powerful impression that I was expecting a new child and immediately it was followed with a promise, “I will carry this child full-term.” I was so grateful to have this spiritual reassurance after a string of loss and sorrow. I have often leaned back of these lines of inspiration for comfort when I fear or have a small complication.

Sometimes we get caught up in our own trials and frustrations so much so that we forget to look outward. In reading the book Choosing Motherhood, I’ve laughed, cried, felt connected to those mothers who share a similar goal, and was reminded how blessed I am in many ways as I read of the struggles of other women.

In the essay, “Now is the winter of our Discontentment made Glorious by Summer”, I was so touched by her faith during such heavy trials as losing her second child, her fourth being born with Spina Bifida. I thought back on the beginning of my current pregnancy. I always turn to God with complete faith and trust, but more so when pregnant. As Richard G. Scott reminded the mothers in his book Finding Peace, Happiness, and Joy, when we bare children we place our lives in the Hands of the Lord. And trust the outcome no matter what. But sometimes this easier said than done.

As mothers, we feel such deep pain, worry, fear, and love without end. We feel hope, renewal, faith, and experience charity, the pure love of Christ, in numerous ways. I love that the author named her chapter from the lines of a soliloquy in a Shakespearean play. Spoken by Richard in Richard III, Act 1 Scene 1

“Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this sun of ….”
We could fill in the blank by the glorious blessing that comes only after the trial of our faith. In her case, she named her precious child “Wynter” as a reminder of the glorious summer she has brought in their lives.

I loved the words she wrote at the end of her essay, “What a grand relief to know that I can, in a coming day, run to my Heavenly Father’s embrace, exclaiming, “I am so glad that I trusted you! I am so glad He trusted me.” I echo her words.

As a mother, we learn so much from our periods of trials with our children. But I also learn so much from the examples set by our children. Richard G. Scott was right on when he said,

“Children can teach you how to find joy even under the most challenging circumstances. Children haven’t yet learned to be depressed by concentrating on the things they don’t have. They find joy in what is available to them.” pg. 165 Finding Peace, Happiness, and Joy

Motherhood—the endless blessings and growth that comes from a willingness to bring children into this world and raise them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. I will never regret my decision to make this my main calling in life and to dedicate over twenty years, thus far, to it’s cause.

The post Learning through Motherhood first appeared on Classical Mothering.

One of the best ways to keep a loving, open relationship with your children that will be lasting

throughout your lives, is to start communication now. Often I will speak with mothers who are complaining about their youth’s behavior and I ask they why the child made those choices, often the mom will stop, look at me with a blank look and answer, “I don’t know” and continue on. Usually, it feeds into the complaining mother’s feeling helpless to affect a change in their child’s behavior or attitude, no matter the severity.

I’ve learned very quickly along the way, that to achieve the desired results of a loving, open relationship with your children, that communication cannot be at random. Neither can it result fully in waiting until the child is suffering. Consistent effort is required. But, I know because you are reading this, you are a parent who cares enough and is willing to now put in consistent effort. Sometimes, we each just need a little inspiration or direction and we’re off to the races. Sometimes, we forget why we struggle in an area and need reminders and encouragement. I hope this article can serve as any of the above for parents.

Children can smell insincerity a mile away. They are put off by exaggerated condescension. They are good at discerning love and honesty in others. As we teach our children and youth that we sincerely care about their feelings, thoughts, troubles, and concerns, through our consistent efforts and open, loving hearts, many barriers can be broken down and love and communication can open wide, the doors of trust and understanding.

Here are five forms of communication that I keep regularly with my children that are often in addition to those spur of the moment conversations we might have while driving somewhere together or cleaning the house together.

Open Door Policy

Each of my children knows I have an open door policy. No matter the trouble or complaint, I always care to hear about it. If, for some rare reason, I cannot listen right then, we set a time for an hour or so later to meet up to discuss what they desire to. I always honor my end of this and each of my children utilizes it with gratitude. We laugh together, cry together, open our hearts to one another, and sometimes I may correct their behavior, but they all know it is because my husband and I care deeply about them.

Decision making is often one of those topics used in this “open door” privilege. If one of our children is having difficulty making a decision they often spend time sitting in a quiet room with my husband or I, or both, as we discuss the pros and cons.

Interviews

My husband and I try to have regular interviews with our children. (Meaning monthly or bi-monthly depending on the season in our lives.) During these interviews we go with the promptings of the Spirit, but often we ask some personal worthiness questions and teach or elaborate on standards in our home and for our church. We ask if they feel worthy to take the sacrament (similar to communion in another religion) or go to the temple.

We will ask how their relationships are fairing with their siblings, us, or friends. This leads to many wonderful opportunities for us to give advice, understand their feelings or struggles, and allows us to share our personal stories to help them in their relationships. We ask the child or youth how they measure their testimonies of the gospel, Savior, and scriptures. We encourage them in their strengthening of their testimonies.

We ask if there is more that we as parents can do to help them. We consider their suggestions, ponder and pray about them, and then make the changes we feel can help.

We strive to keep it in a non-formal spirit so they feel comfortable. We try to avoid lectures or condescending rants on all that we see wrong with the child. We will, however, bring up one thing the child can fix and ask for their commitment in working on it. Often, we’ll have them write this commitment in their journal.

In having these interviews it has taught our children how to evaluate themselves. It helps them view their lives through a different lens. One of the most important skills I feel I have learned in life is objective self-evaluation. In that light, I can have an awareness of things I want to change about myself, or character traits I’d like to change or add, and honesty with myself on how I’m faring in my spiritual or physical life. Loving interviews from parents can help teach this skill to children and youth.

Mentor Meetings

A mentor meeting is often a meeting to help establish and maintain goals. We often use mentor meetings in regards to education, but we also use it to go over goals and dreams the child has. We know what they are capable of and if they aren’t achieving or making improvement, or if the goals they set are low standard, we encourage (in inspirational ways) them to push themselves a little, to go the extra mile. We help them set goals in the following areas: spiritual, physical, relationships (including friendships), educational (because we homeschool this is quite an extensive area), and for the future. We try to keep these meetings weekly as we’ve found the best progress comes when we do weekly mentor meetings.

After Each Event

When my children do something significant in their lives such as attend an event, or even after a fun activity with friends, we have a debrief. In this debrief they share with us all about the event. We ask questions that will encourage them to share their feelings. If there were problems, we help with suggestions for solving them. If it was just fun, we listen and enjoy their tales of adventure or learning. Our children have come to expect quiet, personal time with us to share their experiences, and we all look forward to this time.

Newscasting

Because communication is essential in our home, expectation goes both ways. We expect our children to communicate with us and we provide opportunities to do so. Likewise, our children expect us to keep them abreast of events in the future. Often we’ll share this in Family Meetings. Sometimes, we’ll call everyone around us and give them a rundown. Everyone is kept in the loop on what is going on with mom and dad, family events or events outside of the home.

The post Communicating with your Children first appeared on Classical Mothering.

Reading is healing for the mind, heart, and spirit. The ability to read is a miraculous and awe-inspiring event. There are twenty-six letters in the alphabet and with those twenty-six letters millions of books have been written, magazines and newspapers, journals, blogs, and emails. The written word has the capacity to teach you, inspire you, broaden your horizons, take you to real or imagined lands and worlds, open you to concepts and truths you never imagined. Reading takes a person to heights unlimited. Just as the brilliant Isaac Newton experienced, we too have the capacity to stand on the shoulders of giants and to be a part of the great conversation that has been taking place for hundreds of years…all through literature.

Said the inspirational blind and deaf Helen Keller, “Literature is my Utopia. Here I am not disenfranchised. No barrier of the senses shuts me out from the sweet, gracious discourses of my book friends. They talk to me without embarrassment or awkwardness.” Reading is a precious gift. Reading is fulfilling. Reading is possible for everyone.

The person who avoids reading never fully gained the love of reading. They didn’t gain a testimony for oneself of it’s importance for them to gain the willpower and reason to work against the odds to just do it. Not anyone of us started with the ability to read Jane Austen or Homer. It was an inner desire to learn. It was an inner desire to grow. It was the ability to see pictures within the words on the page. The following list of root emotions includes all of these problems in mind as well as any other reasons one avoids reading books.

Root Emotions

Hardness towards books
Easily entertained/addicted by the fast, cheap, instant (as in junk books, movies, music, Facebook, etc)
Resistance towards work (it’s work to read a book)
Uninterested
Ignorant
Lazy
Resistance
Feeling unintelligent
Feeling dumb
Unwilling to use ones time on this pursuit
Closed to learning
Closed (see to what else or if one’s just closed)
Living on a lower vibration
Happy with ones slower progress
Limiting beliefs (such as reading is for others, no subjects interest me, etc.)
Complete rejection
Excuses
Will not place in ones priorities
Feels bored by
Past traumas/stress from school or other times
Limits what one reads (only non-fiction, etc)
Fears books are evil
Inconsistency
Avoiding
Distracted
Not connected to the book/s they are reading
Undisciplined
Gives up too easily
Hatred/anger towards reading
Perceptions limiting and negative towards others who read
Fear of thick books
Fear of classic literature
Fear of fiction
Pride (yes, there is pride in not reading)
Using words that limit you
Negative thought patterns
Short attention span (clear and lengthen)
Lacking imagination
Closed to/feels unable to picture in ones mind
Unskilled
Comparing self to other’s (what does their book list look like?)
Low Self-esteem
Overwhelmed
Limited by one’s age/kids/life

Affirmations

• I’m capable of reading consistently.
• I am worthy and deserving of being intelligent and increasing this intelligence daily through reading good literature.
• Like Anne of Green Gables, I have a vivid imagination.
• I’m interested in books.
• I’m fascinated by books.
• Reading is always worth the time.
• I always have time for reading.
• I always have place in my life for books.
• I always have room in my budget for books.
• I always have room in my home for a wholesome library of books.
• I read to set a good example.
• I read to grow.
• Every book I read improves me and opens my mind.
• I am worthy and deserving of finding and attracting good, wholesome books into my life.
• I am not deterred, overwhelmed by, or depressed by other’s abilities, talents, or booklists; I’m simply inspired by them.
• I’m open to reading new books.
• Fiction is healing, helpful, inspiring, and packed with parallels for life, love, parenting, mentoring, and all other areas of my life.
• I love big books.
• I love classic tombs.
• I’m connected to the writers of the past.
• I’m connected to books and reading.
• I have a healthy self-esteem.
• I develop a long attention span day by day, book by book.
• I make reading a priority.
• Reading is healthy part of my daily routine.

This post is featured in the book Energy Healing for Families Guidebook.

The post The Roots of Avoiding Reading first appeared on Classical Mothering.