When Tiki Barber told HBO that he was returning to football because he “needed the game,” and because he “needed to prove to [himself] that he could be successful at something,” I thought it sounded like a recipe for a personal mental health disaster.

Now that NFL rosters are set at 53, and Tiki Barber never got to sniff one, I hope that’s not true. According to Peter King at Sports Illustrated, Tiki isn’t taking it well.

I tried to reach Barber on Sunday, but he wasn’t talking. I hear he’s devastated that no team gave him a chance. You might wonder if teams would bring him in after the first game of the season, so his contract wouldn’t be guaranteed, and that could still happen. But with no team calling Lepselter with even a hint of interest, it’s more likely teams would start with backs who’ve been in some football competition this summer.

[Barber’s agent Mark] Lepselter told me Sunday: “We are flabbergasted that Tiki has not had an opportunity with any team, especially when rosters were at 90 players this year. I certainly thought some team would be intrigued to see what he had left in the tank.”

Where this will leave Tiki Barber the person, I don’t know. He’s also recently proposed to his girlfriend, the one with whom he was involved while still married to his pregnant wife. So that’s good news.

His football career, though, is dead, and it’s not coming back. I know Tiki said he needed the game, but I doubt he needs it enough to consider trying to prove himself in the UFL, Canada or the Arena League.

For a guy truly desperate to get back into the league, that’s really the only step left. Even if a team suffers a catastrophic string of injuries at the tailback position, it won’t be Barber’s phone that rings. It’ll be someone younger, cheaper, who won’t bring any media scrutiny, and will play with fearless abandon on special teams.

Sorry, Tiki. Good luck finding something else that makes you happy.

Darrick Strzelecki, a star running back for Gravette (Ark.) High, is used to close encounters with linebackers on the football field. He’s not so accustomed to run-ins with reptiles on the field … or at least he wasn’t until a practice on Tuesday. That’s when Strzelecki took off his helmet during a water break and found what he thought was a toy snake. As it turns out, it wasn’t a toy at all, though he only discovered that when the reptile slithered away.

“It looked like a rubber snake, and I thought someone had played a practical joke on me,” Strzelecki told the Associated Press. “When I grabbed it by the tail, that’s when it jerked, and I dropped the helmet.”

Luckily, a Gravette assistant coach was able to confirm that the snake which hid in Strzelecki’s helmet was non-venomous after killing it shortly after it slipped out of his head gear. A day later, school officials made a clean sweep of the school’s locker room and all of the equipment used by its teams.

“It’s funny now, but it’s something I don’t take lightly,” Gravette head football coach Bill Harrelson told the AP. “All snakes are deadly in my book.”

The aforementioned fall cleaning will probably prove sufficient to ensuring Strzelecki doesn’t have further close calls with his equipment, but one can never be certain.

That’s even more true when your teammates are calling you “snake boy,” hissing at you and wriggling their fingers through the ear hole of your helmet, as Strzelecki found out in the days following his surprising discovery.

“When you have it crawling on your head, it freaks you out,” he said. “It creeped me out. Even through the rest of practice, it felt like the snake was still crawling on me.”

Usain Bolt had another stunning performance in the world championships. This time, it didn’t involve him crossing the finish line in the fastest time ever recorded.

The world’s fastest man broke out of the starting block early in Sunday’s 100 meter final in South Korea and was disqualified from the race, providing an abrupt end to the dominance he’s maintained in track’s biggest event since the Beijing Olympics.

An angry Bolt refused to talk about the disqualification with reporters. “Looking for tears?” he said to a group of them following him around the track. “Not going to happen.”

In 2008, Bolt broke the world record in the 100 three months before the Beijing Olympics. At that year’s Summer Games, the brash Jamaican became the star of the second week, crushing competitors and showboating down the track during dominant performances. At the 2009 world championships in Berlin, Bolt ran what was considered a perfect race. His 9.58 still stands as the world record and likely won’t be challenged until the lead-up to London.

At that time, a new false start rule may be on the books. A minor uproar ensued after Bolt’s DQ on Sunday and could lead to changes in track’s awful false start rule. The “one and done” rule has been on the books since 2010 and has led to a number of high-profile athletes getting kicked out of races before they begin. (Runners used to get two false starts. In 2003, the rule was changed to assign the first false start to the entire field.) The rule is made for television and fans, neither of whom, it is thought, want to see countless false starts and the delays that accompany them. That may be true. But what fans really don’t want to see is a 100-meter final without Usain Bolt.

Imagine the marquee event of the London Olympics, a matchup between Asafa Powell, Tyson Gay and Usain Bolt, ruined by a false start. It’s a disaster scenario for track & field, a sport that thrives on star power more than any other at the Olympics. The IAAF has to ask itself whether it’s worth running the risk of seeing a race without Usain just to prevent a two-minute false start delay. Granted, going back to the old rules wouldn’t assure a clean start by any of the three. It would, however, diminish the possibility of another fiasco in London.

American runner Walter Dix, who would eventually finish with the silver medal in Sunday’s race, was confused about the process. “I didn’t really think they were going to kick him out,” Dix said. “How can you kick Usain out of the race?”

Next time, hopefully they won’t have to.

One of the most charming aspects of March Madness is its ability to transform otherwise ordinary players into lifelong legends with one flick of their wrist.

There’s Northern Iowa‘s Ali Farokhmanesh, the little-known son of a volleyball coach whose gutsy 3-pointer felled top-seeded Kansas in 2010. There’s Bryce Drew, the coach’s son who sank a miracle buzzer beater to give his father his first-ever NCAA tournament victory in 1998. And there’s Keith Smart, the former community college standout whose baseline jumper delivered Indiana the 1987 national title.

Tragically, one of the most prominent members of that fraternity of March heroes died far too soon on Monday.

Lorenzo Charles, hero of North Carolina State‘s improbable 1983 national title, was killed when a tour bus he was driving crashed on Interstate 40 in Raleigh. The 47-year-old Charles was the lone person aboard the bus at the time.

Charles, of course, is best known for snatching Dereck Whittenburg’s errant 30 footer out of the air and dunking it at the buzzer to give 10-loss NC State a 54-52 win over heavily favored Houston in the 1983 national title game. He finished his college career 15th on NC State’s all-time scoring list and played briefly in the NBA with the Atlanta Hawks, but it was always that game-winning dunk that fans and media wanted to relive with him each March.

Although Charles was a native of Brooklyn, N.Y., he made his home in North Carolina after his playing days ended with a stint in Europe. Here’s a sampling of how the basketball community is reacting to Charles’ death:

NC State coach Mark Gottfried: “I’m just shocked and saddened. Our whole staff sat around with him for a half-hour and told stories (Sunday). We had camp going on and he just came by the camp. … We had a great time reminiscing. He was so full of life. I’m so stunned. Not only did NC State lose one of the all-time greats as a human being, everyone loved him. He was a big-hearted guy. Everyone from the NC State family is calling. They’re all so saddened and stunned.” (ESPN.com)

1983 NC State teammate Thurl Bailey: “He was that funny, loveable, huggable Teddy bear. But you looked at him, with that body, and he looked like he could crush you with one hand. … He was so tough on the court, so competitive,” added Bailey. “He was able to really command respect.” (CBSSports.com)

Former NC State coach Herb Sendek: “It’s hard to express the tremendous loss that so many are feeling right now with this tragedy. Lorenzo was a wonderful person and one of the true legends in NC State basketball history. His game-winning basket against Houston in the 1983 national championship game is forever carved on the minds of anybody who has ever followed the sport.” (ESPN.com)

ESPN analyst Jay Bilas: I am deeply saddened to hear of Lorenzo Charles passing. I played against him, and guarded him. A great player. I liked him very much. Lorenzo Charles was incredibly strong. Playing NC State, we came back to a huddle and said we were trying to foul him, but he still scored. Lorenzo Charles could seal you, throw his foot to a spot, then bull his way to that spot. There was little you could do about it. Strong. I played barnstorming games with Lorenzo Charles, and he was a really fun guy to be around. He was quiet, but had a great smile and laugh. (Twitter)

1983 NC State teammate Sidney Lowe: “He always made you feel like he was excited to see you. That’s what I remember about him. He had the biggest smile. He was excited to see you. He was always just so positive. We talked about things. He always just had the right thing to say. He didn’t talk much but when he did he was profound and supportive. He’s just a good guy.” (ESPN.com)

Duke lacrosse coach John Danowski: “It’s great that he scored that winning basket, but he was so much more than that. Everyone here loved him. We are all heartbroken.” (Raleigh News & Observer)

Dwyane Wade and LeBron James looked like they were having fun before Game 5 on Thursday night… at Dirk Nowitzki’s expense.

After Miami’s pregame shootaround, the two Heat stars were shown mocking the fever Dirk Nowitzki had during Game 4 of the NBA Finals.

The Mavericks got the last laugh after they dominated the Heat in the final minutes to take a 3-2 series lead.

Nowitzki played Game 4 with a 101-degree fever and led Dallas to an 86-83 win. He scored 10 of his 21 points in the fourth quarter and made a driving right-handed layup with 14.4 seconds left to give the Mavs a three-point cushion.

LeBron James did just about everything to lead the Heat to the NBA Finals, including putting on an impressive acting performance.

Late in the third quarter of Thursday’s Game 5 win over the Bulls, James grabbed a defensive rebound and Chicago’s Derrick Rose ran over to steal the ball. It appeared as if Rose nailed James in the face as the two-time MVP jerked back and fell to his knees.

The referee called a foul on Rose, but the replay showed that the Bulls star didn’t even touch James’ face. As LeBron got back to his feet, he winked at head coach Erik Spoelstra.

“We have seen, throughout these playoffs, some outstanding acting,” TNT announcer Reggie Miller said.

At the ripe age of 26, LeBron James(notes) has won two MVP awards, he has two NBA Finals appearances, several All-Star berths, and his Miami Heat team will be the odds-on favorite to win the NBA title next week as they prepare to take on the Dallas Mavericks. He also has zero NBA titles.

At the same age, NBA legend Michael Jordan had just as many titles, just as many MVP awards, and his Bulls weren’t even the favorites (despite home court advantage) as they prepared to take on the Los Angeles Lakers in the 1991 NBA Finals.

All this was enough for Jordan teammate and guy-who-should-know Scottie Pippen to toss this out, while appearing on ESPN Radio Friday morning:

“Michael Jordan is probably the greatest scorer to ever play the game. I may go so far as saying LeBron James may be the greatest player to ever play the game.”

Whoa, guy. Seriously?

(And is he actually wrong?)

No, James hasn’t surpassed Jordan in any meaningful way yet. He hasn’t won jack, in comparison to MJ’s six titles. He hasn’t simultaneously won a Defensive Player of the Year in the same season he led the NBA in scoring, though that might be Dwight Howard’s(notes) fault more than anything else. And because James joined the Miami Heat midway through his career, he’ll never be looked at as the singular drive behind any championships he earns. After all, when Jordan won his first ring in 1991, Pippen hadn’t even made an All-Star team by then.

But parsed correctly, tossing in a “might be” before “the greatest player to ever play the game,” and following that with a “when all is said and done,” Pip has to be taken seriously, here. James is 26, and he might be the greatest player to ever play the game when all is said and done. A lot of us have felt that for years.

Pippen, as you’d guess, has been put on the defensive. Fans are getting after him on his Twitter account, and earlier on Friday he posted this:

Ah, Scottie, you don’t need to be that defensive. You may be the most versatile defender in NBA history, but you don’t need to darken the mood, here. You just need to brighten, and clarify. By any reasonable standard, be they rings or Player Efficiency Ratings or “I seen ’em”-recollections, Jordan is the best ever.

But LeBron James? He has the talent and the time to surpass him. And for those of us, “watching and cheering,” that obsessed over every one of Jordan’s minutes in his prime? We can understand that.

It’s on you now, LeBron. It’s not on Scottie. Because he could be right.

In an unfortunately unoriginal display of frustration, Joakim Noah of the Chicago Bulls appears to have been caught on camera saying “F*** you F*****” to a fan.

FloppingOut reports that TNT cameras filmed an angry Joakim Noah mouthing back a hateful anti-gay slur to a fan after receiving his second foul early in the first quarter.

Just last month, Kobe Bryant was fined $100,000 for yelling a homophobic slur at a referee. Bryant later released a statement saying, “My actions were out of frustration during the heat of the game, period. The words expressed do NOT reflect my feelings towards the gay and lesbian communities and were NOT meant to offend anyone.”

Yet, NBA Commissioner David Stern said, “While I’m fully aware that basketball is an emotional game, such a distasteful term should never be tolerated… Kobe and everyone associated with the NBA know that insensitive or derogatory comments are not acceptable and have no place in our game or society.”

While there may be no place for derogatory comments, they appear to be taking place at lightning speed in a disturbing trend. Regarding acceptance of different sexual orientations in society, some consider the sports world to be trailing behind. Phoenix Suns president and CEO Rick Welts, who recently revealed to the public that he is gay, told The New York Times, “This is one of the last industries where the subject is off limits… Nobody’s comfortable in engaging in a conversation.”

WATCH Joakim Noah caught on camera (warning, profanity):

Former NBA player Robert “Tractor” Traylor was found dead in his apartment on Wednesday in Isla Verde, Puerto Rico.

He was 34 years old.
PrimeraAhora.com reported that the handy man of Traylor’s Marbella condo entered the apartment and found his body.

Traylor most recently played for the Bayamon Vaqueros of Puerto Rico’s domestic club.

According to the team and police, the former Michigan Wolverines star died of a heart attack. Teammate Orlando “Guayacán” Santiago said that Traylor recently complained of having trouble breathing.

The Dallas Mavericks selected Traylor in the 1998 NBA Draft and traded him to the Milwaukee Bucks for Dirk Nowitzki and Pat Garrity. He also played for the Cleveland Cavaliers and New Orleans Hornets.

Former NFL player Mack Herron is in police custody after being charged with heroin possession in Chicago.

The 62-year-old played for the New England Patriots in the 1970s and Kansas State before that. The team’s web site says he set a 1974 NFL record with 2,444 all-purpose yards, shattering a 1966 record held by Chicago Bears legend Gale Sayers.

Chicago police say they spotted Herron on Friday near an abandoned building with a tinfoil packet containing heroin. They say Herron has been arrested some 20 times and served jail time, mainly on drug convictions.

Bail is set at $25,000.

No phone listing for Herron could be found Sunday.