TL Hines: Blog & Podcasts -

Half Looking Forward to my First Half Marathon

willieeverlearn@yahoo.com (TL Hines) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 08:51:57 -0600

I'll admit I've been pretty quiet online the past few weeks. There are two very good reasons for that.

1) I'm once again late handing in my next book. So I'm past deadline and trying to catch up...something that's been difficult because I've essentially re-tooled the second half of the novel after my first draft.

2) I'm focusing on my first half-marathon, which I will be running this Sunday, September 20th right here in good ol' Billings, Montana. I'm a little scared, a little excited, a little unsure...did I mention a little scared? This is compounded by the fact that I seem to have contracted a head cold (now moving to my chest) this past weekend.

Once I get past the whole book writing and road running thing, well, it will be back to business as usual online.

Until then, I'm getting my hermit on.

Contrarian Advice About Book Reviews

willieeverlearn@yahoo.com (TL Hines) — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 07:19:18 -0600

It makes sense. If you're seeking publication, especially in fiction, you should read a lot and review a lot. In fact, it would be great if you get a reviewing gig at a local newspaper, or a web site, or somewhere else; you'll get double duty by forcing yourself to analyze what works (and doesn't work) in the books you read, and you'll get some credits to put in your query letter by having your reviews published. Plus, you might make some contacts that benefit you.

I'll agree with everything above. Except for the review part. Make that: except for the published review part. At the very least, I want you to carefully consider the potential risks with the rewards.

Risks? What's risky about reviewing books?

Here's the thing. If you review, you're naturally going to review the genre you're interested in writing. As long as you read books you love, everything will be fine. But inevitably, you'll run across a book you hate. No problem, you might think; you're a critic, after all, so why not be critical in your reviews?

Because the world of publishing is small when you think about it. And your genre--mystery/thriller, romance, spec fiction, religious fiction, whatever--is even smaller. More so in our socially networked society.

Maybe you see the problem developing. If you publish a critical review, honest as it may be from your point of view, it's going to be seen. First, it's going to be seen by the author, because most authors actively search out reviews for their books. (I always have, but I'm largely getting cured of the disease. That's probably a topic for another post.)

As an author, reviews that praise your work are wonderful things. But the negative reviews are the ones that really stick with you. When you read a negative review, the name of the reviewer is instantly burned into your consciousness, and filed away inside your mind. It's just human nature. Now, that author may take the review in the spirit it's intended, but she may not. She may belong to a few author groups, and she may pass along portions of the review to the whole group, seeking solace from friends. She may complain to her publisher, and ask they never send another book for your review again.

And have I mentioned: your name is now burned into her consciousness?

Someday--maybe six months from now, maybe a year from now, maybe longer--you might have an opportunity to be published. You might need an endorsement, and you might find yourself approaching the author whose work you savaged. Perhaps you've forgotten about it, but I guarantee she hasn't. She'll remember your name. Even if you're sure you'll never need something from that particular author, remember: the Interwebs are vast and far-reaching. You might ask another author for an endorsement, and she'll casually mention it on a writing list...and the author whose work you savaged will share her thoughts.

That's if you get the contract. Don't forget editors have a soft spot for books they've acquired. If they're interested in your submission, you can be sure they'll do a google search on you. Lo and behold, they'll find the many reviews you've published online. When said editor stumbles across a review for a book she acquired, and notices how you ripped it apart...well. Maybe you haven't sunk your ship, but you've piloted right toward a large iceberg.

My point is, scathing reviews last forever. And they may haunt you. So if you truly want to review books, I advise you to only post reviews of books you really love (which may not be possible if you're "assigned" reviews at a publication). The old adage holds true: if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

It may not do much for your critic cred. But then, you're not interested in being a critic; you're interested in being an author.

How Bresnan Could Have Turned Failure into Opportunity

willieeverlearn@yahoo.com (TL Hines) — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 09:13:44 -0600

As I write this, I'm about 14 hours into a broadband outage from my provider, Bresnan Communications. No, this isn't going to be some WTH???-laden anti-Bresnan tirade. I've been pretty happy with their broadband service--this is the first major failure. Rather, this is an opportunity to talk about something more companies need to recognize: the need to use social media for crisis communication. Already on Twitter, there's a #bresnanfail hashtag. There are stories about the outage popping up on local media sites in Bresnan's markets. And Bresnan's response has been...nothing. Depending on how long this lasts, the misery could snowball for them. Some things they could have done already to mitigate this:

Have employees with Twitter accounts replying to tweets as they appear. That's the beauty of microblogging--you can communicate even if your servers are melting down.
Posting status updates on the company homepage. Instead, they have the "corporate" home page up, as if nothing's wrong. Put up a simple "We're sorry for the outages, and we're working on the problem. We'll update you again at noon MDT." Apologize, say you're working on the issue, promise an update. It's really that simple. As it stands, I'm betting folks might feel Bresnan is ignoring the problem.
Use your technology to communicate. Bresnan could send an automated phone message to broadband customers, giving status updates. (They're also experiencing problems with their VOIP, but my phone has been back up for several hours--I think a call could have been made in that time. Especially if they anticipated this kind of problem and set up an automated call system ahead of time.) Or here's an idea: their cable TV service is unaffected; why not run a crawler with updates on the cable system?
Look for opportunities to do something unexpected. Turn the failure into something noteworthy by partnering with a coffee chain to offer a free cup of Joe to Bresnan customers. Offer a free on-demand movie through their cable connection. Do something to acknowledge the problem. Frankly, nothing is more endearing than people (or companies) who go out of their way to say "I'm sorry."

Learn from Bresnan. Anticipate a crisis, and map out how social media can work for you. If you don't, it will work against you.

UPDATE: As of 9:30 am, internet service is back up. And, I notice a message acknowledging the network outage on Bresnan's home page--not sure when that went up, but as the Aussies say, good on ya, Bresnan.

Would You Put Your Face in the Fire for a Free Book Download?

willieeverlearn@yahoo.com (TL Hines) — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 09:27:12 -0600

My latest book, Faces in the Fire, is on shelves now. And I want you to get a free digital download of the book (Kindle, Sony E-reader, pdf--your choice). All you have to do to get that free download is put your face in the fire.

It may sound painful, but it's quite the opposite. To celebrate the release of Faces in the Fire, I'm building a photomosaic at my website (tlhines.com), using images from readers just like you. Just go to the website (tlhines.com--or did I say that already?), click on "Become a Face in the Fire," and upload a photo of yourself. Or of your dog. Or of your car. Or of your tattoo. (More on that below.) Just for submitting your photo, you'll get a free download of the book, no strings attached, courtesy of my publisher Thomas Nelson.

But there's more. Action figures. Not your typical, run-of-the-mill action figures, either. We're talking Bigfoot. Crazy Cat Lady. Obsessive Compulsive. Moses. Jane Austen. Librarian. When you submit your photo, you could win your choice of any of these funky action figures (I'm giving away 20 of 'em). Five submitted photos judged most interesting/odd/unique will win. Five photos of the most interesting/odd/unique tattoos will win. Five people who share the "Be A Face in the Fire" project with a friend will win. And five people drawn at random from all submitted photos will win.

Now as I said, there's no real catch to any of this. But there is a deadline. If you want a free download of the book, you have to submit your photo by SUNDAY, AUGUST 2--downloads are only active for one week, starting Monday, July 27. (Downloads "officially" start Monday, but if you submit now, you'll get the download information on Monday when the downloads activate.) After the free book downloads end, I'll still collect photos through the month of August, and hand out the 20 action figures at the end of the month.

I think this is a fun project, and I hope you do, as well. Maybe you just think it's strange. And hey, that's okay, too. In any case, I hope you think it's interesting enough to share, bookmark or tweet with other people, so please do so. I want to give away a bazillion free downloads of the book next week. I want to see your photos--tattoos and otherwise. And I want to give 20 strange action figures loving homes.

So come on: put your face in the fire for the Crazy Cat Lady. Or for Moses. Or for Jane Austen.

AuthorBuzz "Noir Bizarre" Prize Winners

willieeverlearn@yahoo.com (TL Hines) — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 21:41:33 -0600

You may have noticed a contest for five "Noir Bizarre" prizes listed on my web site last week, in conjunction with AuthorBuzz. The winners had their choice of five nifty pieces of schwag from the fine folks at Archie Mcphee: a Yodeling Pickle, a Shakespeare Action Figure, a Librarian Action Figure, a Zombie Play Set, or Librarian Tattoos.

Today, I drew the names of the five winners, and they are (their usernames only--I won't publish their email addresses on the web):

sharpjds, who chose a Zombie Play Set
DianaWelsh, who chose a Librarian Action Figure
katloiter, who chose a Yodeling Pickle
scott2, who chose a Librarian Action Figure
niteyblossom_1, who chose a Yodeling Pickle

I've emailed all the winners. If you didn't win, thanks for entering anyway; because of the success of this contest (evidently, I'm not the only one who likes bizarre schwag), I'm thinking of making this a monthly thing.

Signs Your Boss is a Zombie

willieeverlearn@yahoo.com (TL Hines) — Tue, 19 May 2009 10:36:10 -0600

10. Favorite cereal is "Kellogg's Raisin Brain."

9. Constantly tells everyone the Pixies' "Where is My Mind?" is the Best. Song. Ever.

8. Framed photo of George Romero on desk.

7. Consistently asks all employees: "Have you lost your mind?" Takes notes when they answer.

6. On tests for psychological profiles, answers "yes" to the question: "Are you a zombie?"

5. Complains that the brain on "Pinky and the Brain" is just a stupid mouse, and not really a brain.

4. Closest friends are vampires and werewolves.

3. Wears a "Got Brains?" tee shirt to the office on Casual Fridays.

2. Every time you ask for help on a project, answers by saying "That'll cost you a pound of flesh." Quickly presents a contract for your signature.

1. Always orders the "Brains & Eggs" special at Denny's.

A Li'l Bit of Song Poem Love

willieeverlearn@yahoo.com (TL Hines) — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 11:10:39 -0600

If you've attended one of my "Getting Published--Without Getting Scammed" presentations, you might recall me comparing some of the more unscrupulous self-publishing companies to the song poem industry.

That said, I have a soft spot for the whole song poem industry--a strange fascination, you might say. Without it, we wouldn't have songs such as "I Like Yellow Things" or "Non-Violent Taekwondo Troopers" available for our listening pleasure.

Really, where else would you find lyrics such as:

I have taken a vow of celibacy until marriage.
However if Annie tempted me into her carriage,
I might lose to Miss Oakley; it's not funny.
Annie Oakley is one of my historical honeys.

Gold, Jerry. Pure gold.

Friends (thanks, Nicole and Karen) recently passed along this episode of "Independent Lens," which offers a fascinating look inside the world of song poems, including interviews with people who submitted "song poems," as well as the industry folks who set them to music and recorded them.

It's absolutely impossible to watch this and not become a song poem devotee.

Used copy of my newest book. Just $1000.

willieeverlearn@yahoo.com (TL Hines) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 13:27:45 -0600

So, even though my newest book, Faces in the Fire, won't release until this summer, I just found a used copy of it on Amazon for the low, low price of $1000.

Plus $3.99 for shipping and handling.

These guys must have a time machine. If so, I'd like to buy copies of all my future books. Then I can just copy them, without going through all the trouble of actually writing them.

"Faces in the Fire" - A Great Big, Wonderful Mess

willieeverlearn@yahoo.com (TL Hines) — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 11:38:42 -0600

So we're on the homestretch for Faces in the Fire, my next novel releasing this summer. I'm looking at final galleys even as we speak (a process that makes me even more neurotic than usual, but that's, as they say, another story).

I think Faces in the Fire is my most ambitious work to date. Writing it stretched me in new ways, and that's a Very Good Thing.

But here's the thing. Now begins the time when I hold my breath, waiting for the first reviews (I know a couple of Advance Reading Copies are floating around). And to tell you the truth, I'm not too great about holding my breath.

I've been criticized for hitting the wacky button a few times too many in my previous works. I can see how some folks would have that reaction, but hey, I'm an alien, and that's the way I roll. (Sorry, thought I was Alec Baldwin for a second.)

I've never been the kinda guy who writes neat, tidy stories where every loose end gets addressed. I happen to like loose ends, because they make the reader fill in some of the details. And Faces in the Fire turns that up to eleven, so I worry some folks might not hang with me.

It's four inter-connected novellas that combine to tell one larger story. But it leaves a lot of unanswered questions. There are bizarre events and oddities that just don't get explained.

On top of that, the book follows a very non-linear narrative; the scenes are out of order, so you have to piece the story together as you read.

I'll post tidbits and other information about the book as we near the release date, but howzabout a quick look at each of the novellas?

FIRST STANZA: CLOTH GHOSTS
A long-haul truck driver/artist communicates with ghosts trapped in clothing--and discovers what they want from him.

SECOND STANZA: BOTTOM FEEDER
A computer expert, battling cancer, receives a mysterious email that could lead to a cure for her...and thousands of others.

THIRD STANZA: CHASING DRAGONS
A tattoo artist’s creations begin to come to life, revealing scenes of the future.

FINAL STANZA: MINUS MIDAS
A man whose simple touch can kill is recruited as a mafia hit man.

As I said: I like the wacky button. I like the puzzle-like aspect of the book. I like the intersections of the stories. I like the unresolved mysteries.

Maybe because that's the way life itself operates. My life is certainly a wacky, intersecting, unresolved puzzle at times.

But above all, I like having readers who are willing to swallow the blue pill and see where the rabbit hole goes. So as always, thanks for taking the journey with me.

So A Guy Walks Into An Attic...

willieeverlearn@yahoo.com (TL Hines) — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 08:34:09 -0700

Imagine my surprise, watching television news last week, when this story about a guy living in the attic of someone's home hit. Imagine my further surprise when reader Cory Clubb sent me a nifty copy of the exact same story online.

If you've read The Unseen, you know the action centers around a weird group of folks calling themselves the Creep Club...who squat in the attics, eaves, basements and hidden spaces of homes.

If this guy's not already a member of Creep Club, I'm sure he's been given an invitation.

Not that there's a real Creep Club out there; it's entirely fictional.

As far as you know.