TL Hines: Blog & Podcasts -

AuthorBuzz "Noir Bizarre" Prize Winners

willieeverlearn@yahoo.com (TL Hines) — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 21:41:33 -0600

You may have noticed a contest for five "Noir Bizarre" prizes listed on my web site last week, in conjunction with AuthorBuzz. The winners had their choice of five nifty pieces of schwag from the fine folks at Archie Mcphee: a Yodeling Pickle, a Shakespeare Action Figure, a Librarian Action Figure, a Zombie Play Set, or Librarian Tattoos.

Today, I drew the names of the five winners, and they are (their usernames only--I won't publish their email addresses on the web):

sharpjds, who chose a Zombie Play Set
DianaWelsh, who chose a Librarian Action Figure
katloiter, who chose a Yodeling Pickle
scott2, who chose a Librarian Action Figure
niteyblossom_1, who chose a Yodeling Pickle

I've emailed all the winners. If you didn't win, thanks for entering anyway; because of the success of this contest (evidently, I'm not the only one who likes bizarre schwag), I'm thinking of making this a monthly thing.

Signs Your Boss is a Zombie

willieeverlearn@yahoo.com (TL Hines) — Tue, 19 May 2009 10:36:10 -0600

10. Favorite cereal is "Kellogg's Raisin Brain."

9. Constantly tells everyone the Pixies' "Where is My Mind?" is the Best. Song. Ever.

8. Framed photo of George Romero on desk.

7. Consistently asks all employees: "Have you lost your mind?" Takes notes when they answer.

6. On tests for psychological profiles, answers "yes" to the question: "Are you a zombie?"

5. Complains that the brain on "Pinky and the Brain" is just a stupid mouse, and not really a brain.

4. Closest friends are vampires and werewolves.

3. Wears a "Got Brains?" tee shirt to the office on Casual Fridays.

2. Every time you ask for help on a project, answers by saying "That'll cost you a pound of flesh." Quickly presents a contract for your signature.

1. Always orders the "Brains & Eggs" special at Denny's.

A Li'l Bit of Song Poem Love

willieeverlearn@yahoo.com (TL Hines) — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 11:10:39 -0600

If you've attended one of my "Getting Published--Without Getting Scammed" presentations, you might recall me comparing some of the more unscrupulous self-publishing companies to the song poem industry.

That said, I have a soft spot for the whole song poem industry--a strange fascination, you might say. Without it, we wouldn't have songs such as "I Like Yellow Things" or "Non-Violent Taekwondo Troopers" available for our listening pleasure.

Really, where else would you find lyrics such as:

I have taken a vow of celibacy until marriage.
However if Annie tempted me into her carriage,
I might lose to Miss Oakley; it's not funny.
Annie Oakley is one of my historical honeys.

Gold, Jerry. Pure gold.

Friends (thanks, Nicole and Karen) recently passed along this episode of "Independent Lens," which offers a fascinating look inside the world of song poems, including interviews with people who submitted "song poems," as well as the industry folks who set them to music and recorded them.

It's absolutely impossible to watch this and not become a song poem devotee.

Used copy of my newest book. Just $1000.

willieeverlearn@yahoo.com (TL Hines) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 13:27:45 -0600

So, even though my newest book, Faces in the Fire, won't release until this summer, I just found a used copy of it on Amazon for the low, low price of $1000.

Plus $3.99 for shipping and handling.

These guys must have a time machine. If so, I'd like to buy copies of all my future books. Then I can just copy them, without going through all the trouble of actually writing them.

"Faces in the Fire" - A Great Big, Wonderful Mess

willieeverlearn@yahoo.com (TL Hines) — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 11:38:42 -0600

So we're on the homestretch for Faces in the Fire, my next novel releasing this summer. I'm looking at final galleys even as we speak (a process that makes me even more neurotic than usual, but that's, as they say, another story).

I think Faces in the Fire is my most ambitious work to date. Writing it stretched me in new ways, and that's a Very Good Thing.

But here's the thing. Now begins the time when I hold my breath, waiting for the first reviews (I know a couple of Advance Reading Copies are floating around). And to tell you the truth, I'm not too great about holding my breath.

I've been criticized for hitting the wacky button a few times too many in my previous works. I can see how some folks would have that reaction, but hey, I'm an alien, and that's the way I roll. (Sorry, thought I was Alec Baldwin for a second.)

I've never been the kinda guy who writes neat, tidy stories where every loose end gets addressed. I happen to like loose ends, because they make the reader fill in some of the details. And Faces in the Fire turns that up to eleven, so I worry some folks might not hang with me.

It's four inter-connected novellas that combine to tell one larger story. But it leaves a lot of unanswered questions. There are bizarre events and oddities that just don't get explained.

On top of that, the book follows a very non-linear narrative; the scenes are out of order, so you have to piece the story together as you read.

I'll post tidbits and other information about the book as we near the release date, but howzabout a quick look at each of the novellas?

FIRST STANZA: CLOTH GHOSTS
A long-haul truck driver/artist communicates with ghosts trapped in clothing--and discovers what they want from him.

SECOND STANZA: BOTTOM FEEDER
A computer expert, battling cancer, receives a mysterious email that could lead to a cure for her...and thousands of others.

THIRD STANZA: CHASING DRAGONS
A tattoo artist’s creations begin to come to life, revealing scenes of the future.

FINAL STANZA: MINUS MIDAS
A man whose simple touch can kill is recruited as a mafia hit man.

As I said: I like the wacky button. I like the puzzle-like aspect of the book. I like the intersections of the stories. I like the unresolved mysteries.

Maybe because that's the way life itself operates. My life is certainly a wacky, intersecting, unresolved puzzle at times.

But above all, I like having readers who are willing to swallow the blue pill and see where the rabbit hole goes. So as always, thanks for taking the journey with me.

So A Guy Walks Into An Attic...

willieeverlearn@yahoo.com (TL Hines) — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 08:34:09 -0700

Imagine my surprise, watching television news last week, when this story about a guy living in the attic of someone's home hit. Imagine my further surprise when reader Cory Clubb sent me a nifty copy of the exact same story online.

If you've read The Unseen, you know the action centers around a weird group of folks calling themselves the Creep Club...who squat in the attics, eaves, basements and hidden spaces of homes.

If this guy's not already a member of Creep Club, I'm sure he's been given an invitation.

Not that there's a real Creep Club out there; it's entirely fictional.

As far as you know.

Pattern Recognition in Your Own Writing

willieeverlearn@yahoo.com (TL Hines) — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 20:11:48 -0700

I'm finishing edits on my fourth book, Faces in the Fire, right now, and one thing that's really started to stand out for me is...well, is how my writing mind seems preoccupied by a few basic themes. The search for identity, for instance. The search for meaning and significance. (Or, as Publishers Weekly said in a review of my last book: "The human desire for authenticity." I like that.) The amazing ability of great goodness to be born in the midst of great evil.

Take those things away, it seems, and I really don't have much to write about, fiction-wise.

Stephen King, in his excellent book On Writing, said:

I don’t believe any novelist, even one who’s written forty-plus books, has too many thematic concerns; I have many interests but only a few that are deep enough to power novels. These deep interests include how difficult it is--perhaps impossible!--to close Pandora's technobox once it's open. Why, if there is a God, such terrible things happen. The thin line between reality and fantasy, and most of all, the terrible attraction violence sometimes has for fundamentally good people."

So I'm in good company; King is now up to more 50 novels, and he counts four main themes in his own work.

Still, it's a bit uncomfortable to discover some of the things that keep popping up in your work again and again. Most of my main characters are everyday, blue collar folks who are tortured by their own histories. They have a tendency to hide their own identities (consciously or not). They are abused, estranged or cut off from their parents. They struggle with paranoia, schizophrenia, compulsions and other mental disorders.

Um...so what does that say about me?

I probably don't want to know the answer to that.

Reach Out and Touch Nate Kenyon's New Book

willieeverlearn@yahoo.com (TL Hines) — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 10:23:59 -0700

One of the greatest things about becoming a published author is meeting other like-minded folks. And I have to say, one of the most likable like-minded folks I've met is Nate Kenyon, whose first book, Bloodstone, came out roughly at the same time as my first.

Now, Nate has a new one out called The Reach, and he's managed quite a feat with it: he earned a starred review in Publishers' Weekly. This is enviable from my point of view, because PW has been the toughest on me of any of the trade mags--so, way to go, Nate.

A short teaser from Nate's website:

Over 98% of the human genome is considered ‘junk DNA,’ sequences for which no function has yet been identified. Some scientists believe these sequences were once functional copies of genes that have since lost their protein-coding ability.

But what if those genes were simply dormant, and could become active with the proper trigger? And what if one of them, once awakened, made the carrier capable of things previously considered the stuff of legend—literally, the power of mind over matter?

Sounds great, eh? If you like creepy reads (and you know I do), go pick up a copy of The Reach and read it right now.

Selling Your Books, Without Selling Your Soul

willieeverlearn@yahoo.com (TL Hines) — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 12:57:02 -0700

I believe I shared this joke somewhere in the ancient past, but I'll share it again because it relates directly to what I'll be saying:

Q: How many first-time novelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Enough about that; let's talk about my novel!

It's funny (at least to me), because it's true: when you have a book coming out, it's hard not to want to yell it at the top of your lungs to everyone else in the world. Especially in today's crowded marketplace, where everyone and everything competes for attention.

But you know what? It's not just first-time novelists. I see people who have had several books out who take every opportunity to shill for themselves. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, but I would like to suggest there's a fine line that gets crossed all-too-often.

Certainly it's okay to let folks know when you have books coming out, what they're about, where they can get them, and all that stuff. You can put that information on your web site, in your email signature line, online forum signatures, and on your social networks such as Facebook, MySpace, Shoutlife and the like. You know what? People will see that information, and they'll be able to order if they're interested.

I do think some folks tend to step over the line, however, when they use Twitter to announce every new review, or send constant messages on Facebook and MySpace. And if it strikes me as a bit heavy-handed--an author who tends to like PT Barnum antics--I can guarantee you other people find those tactics heavy-handed as well.

Perhaps most egregious of all are the people who send out friend invites on MySpace and Facebook, then begin peppering your wall or comments sections with throwaway messages. It smacks of desperation.

Some advice: people don't want to be sold to. But if you entertain them, they don't mind a sales pitch. So please, find a way to make your pitches for sales witty, informative or entertaining.

If you don't, you just cut your own throat. Worse, you make me want to cut mine.

The Horrors of Christian Storytelling

willieeverlearn@yahoo.com (TL Hines) — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 22:11:49 -0700

For whatever reason, I've been drawn into recent discussions on the Interwebs about Christianity and horror. (Okay, some of the conversations aren't all that recent--only my awareness of them.)

Most of the discussions point out an awkward tension between revulsive subject matter and redemptive storytelling. Many, it would seem, think "Christian Horror" is the oxyest of all morons.

Maybe it is. Certainly, CBA publishers want to stay away from using such a term--possibly because the word "horror" connotes a celebration of gratuitious gore and violence, as Mike Duran ably pointed out recently.

On the other side, the mainstream public obviously shies away from the same label because...well, because they expect it to be preachy. As The Horror Geek's recent review of the film House says:

This is part of the reason why people don’t seem to enjoy religious based entertainment. It’s like if you slap “this is church approved” on something, religious folk will rush out to see it even if it insults their intelligence in the process.

Well, hey, I've thought the same thing myself. To be honest, most of the "bad" reviews I've received are from people who feel I've done a poor job of telling a "Christian" tale. I've been chided for not having a character quote an entire verse of a Psalm, for instance. And recently, a person scheduling radio interviews said he didn't "see anything of Jesus" in one of my books based on the cover and flap copy.

Go ahead and laugh. Those things are funny on some level. But in another way, they're not funny at all, because, as The Horror Geek suggests, many Christians actually want art that isn't particularly artistic.

Just Christian.

And that's just one side of the equation. Because as a guy who writes "Christian Horror," I can tell you mainstream acceptance is spotty at best. I'd love to support more independent bookstores, but many of them don't seem to feel the same way about "religious" fiction. I'd love to go to more conferences, talk to more writing groups, all that kind of stuff...but I can tell you many people are scared I'm going to come in and preach a sermon (especially frustrating because, after all, I'm the guy who doesn't seem to write "Christian enough" stories for some).

Well. Talk about an awkward tension between revulsion and redemption.

Am I complaining? Sure. But I won't complain too much. I've found a good audience; my first two books have gone into multiple printings in multiple formats, and I think the new book is going to attract even more readers. I get a lot of reader comments and email from people all over the map, both ideologically and physically. And I'm getting great publisher interaction and support across the board. In short, I've found a niche, and I'm thankful for the opportunity.

I'm fine with the Christian Horror label...I just wish it didn't sometimes describe my world outside of the stories themselves.