TO THE EDITOR

We Have Moved

2010-01-13T16:14:00.000-05:00

The switch is official today. Check us out at our shiny new site, http://leditoreditor.wordpress.com/We're well aware that this would have been a good chance to polish it up more but this is a print journalism dinosaur. You're lucky we figured out how to get this electric typewriter onto that interwebs.

letter the thirty-seventh: more from c-money

2010-01-12T12:13:00.000-05:00

Before we get to today's leditor, I would like to announce that we'll soon move this whole thing over to wordpress. There's content there already but I need to work on getting things the way I want them. Just start reminding yourself to exchange "blogspot" with "wordpress" when looking for the stupidity people send newspapers. Like our resident crazy, c-money.

Sen. Reid’s unseemly payoffs, kickbacks, and sweetheart deals

that were included to buy the votes of Democratic Senators.

part stated by GOP

The hell with the rest of the 48 States. Is The American People in the Rest Of The 48 States, Going To Stand For This Type Of Treatment? Are you America?

All year long, the more the American people learn about Washington Democrats’ costly government takeover of health care, the more they oppose it. So rather than listen to the American People who they work for, they went behind closed doors with Senators they new they could buy, and sold out the American People. The Senators that did this were, Sen. Mary Landrieu and Ben Nelson so in there sick minds, would get them re-elected in there states.

If such an act was done in a public firm, and only two states were given special treatment, to swing a vote that would benefit this firm; the FBI would be leading the CEO out in handcuffs. Prosecute them and make sure they do jail time. But not in this administration. Its part of there every day practice to buy there Votes, especially when they understand the American People are saying NO. Especially when they smell weak Senators and understand they can be bought. These two Senators or any other Senators that go against there Constitutional Oat they took when they became a Senator,

" I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter: So help me God."

Being able to be bought and selling out America is not holding to there oath. They should not be Senators. They will sell there vote again, and it may not be to benefit there constituents Later on down the road after they get re-elected, they will not care what there people want or say, for another four years. At that time when they do not need there people in there state, the vote they sell you out for, could be going against there own state. These people are weak, dangerous, a disgrace to our country. Next election put someone in that has a back bone to stand up for all of America.

Voice your opinion America, don't just sit by and take this without a fight.

(INSERT TITLE HERE)

2010-01-11T10:44:00.001-05:00

[The watermark is of some dude running, by the way ... he runs like a Ford?]

[Please ignore the (insert man behind the curtain)]

Date: (Insert date)

For Immediate Release

Contact: (Insert name and phone number of contact person at Dealership)

(INSERT DEALERSHIP NAME) OF (INSERT CITY) HAS ACHIEVED FORD MOTOR COMPANY'S HIGHEST DEALER HONOR — THE 2001 PRESIDENT'S AWARD

Every year Ford Motor Company honors Dealerships that have gone above and beyond their customers' expectation with the President's Award.

What makes this award even more significant is that customers are judges. Through a comprehensive survey, customers rate Dealers on the basis of their sales, service and overall ownership experience.

This year, 340 Dealerships out of some 5,000 were awarded this high honor.

"It's a thrill to receive this recognition from out customers," says (INSERT DEALERSHIP NAME) owner, (INSERT DEALER NAME).

"Making sure our customers are happy is what everyone who works here strives for. And it takes real teamwork to make it happen. From the people who answer our phones our sales folks to our technicians, everyone plays a part in customer satisfaction. I couldn't be more proud of our staff. They're the reason we've won this award," emphasizes (INSERT DEALER NAME [NOT THE VARSITY])

(INSERT DEALERSHIP NAME) is located at (INSERT ADDRESS). [AM I THE ONLY ONE AT THIS POINT SAYING, "HUH, HUH ... 'INSERT?'"] The service department phone number is (INSERT PHONE NUMBER). Hours are (INSERT WEEKLY HOURS).

Thursday Deaths, vol. 8

2010-01-08T10:11:00.000-05:00

This will be the last one for a while since the contributor got a new job after this one.

That said, lets give our final final respects to the following:

• Choose your own price;
• If there will be only girls around, will you be ready?;
• Swiss branded watches;
• I had an accident, come now!;
• Let's meet as usually;
• Don't go home now!;
• 80% off? No;
• Release all your fantasies tonight; and
• For sure, you will feel more pleasure after a short course of enhancing.

I guess, for now on, prices will be chosen for us but we don't have to worry about the price of Swiss branded watches because they don't exist anymore. #2 may have been ready for only girls but not the Grim Reaper? I think that #4-6 may have saved us from an “accident” at home. Per #7, rumors of 80% off's demise have been greatly exaggerated. Because of #8, there will be no fantasies being released until further notice ... especially in the Champagne Room. Lastly, the life of a short course of enhancing was tragically cut short. Hopefully, it was more pleasurable in the process.

May they rest in peace.

letter the thirty-sixth: they keep coming

2010-01-07T11:56:00.000-05:00

I got the mother lode. There is a stack of letters from this old woman ranting about mostly the Greeks. I don't think I've seen anyone who is apparently in their 90s be 1) able to write so much and 2) be so angry. It's amazing.

"These aren't dated so I'm not sure that our paper ever ran them," the contributor said. "Apparently, they were ignored from what she said in one of them but there's another that implies that some of them got through."

Here is one of the ones where she mentions that they haven't been running, complains about the American Legion and people taking care of historic sites. OH, OH and it gets better on the back. It gets better.

I guess you have one bad Gyro and the Greeks ruin the town.

I think my favorite stylistic error of hers is that she complains about immigrants but she often drops articles like stereotypical immigrants.

Sears and Roebuck Houses [SOMETHING] anything past 20th St. except for [SOMETHING PROBABLY HISTORIC] home that [SOMETHING] bought for a far isn't old. [HISTORIC] Home [NOT GREEK FAMILY] [SOMETHING] is OLD! But the B.S. don't want that advertised just their PICTURES

I graduated from High School here and was shocked at the way the town had been ruined by undesirables and our beautiful high school stands empty but we have an expensive statue in our ugly park!

The Greeks and Blacks came here during WWII but they have their say and do as they please in a town they ruined. As about a Greek who owned a [THE "DUMP" SHE MENTIONED YESTERDAY] on East Broadway! Ask about American Legion who was run out of [COUNTY] but "Went Where else?" [CITY]! Combat Veterans (unless in small town where no other Social Activities) will not join American Legions they teach young men to guzzle Beer ($$ for them) and Liquor!) So 3 Combat Veterans said!) I was told when they ran them out of [COUNTY] they would not sell them land to build [SOMETHING].

What amazed me one day one of our (Greek) [CITY] "historians" standing in a garden she did not make!) with white dress hair in place and a clean garden shovel in her hand! In [NEWSPAPER]!

At [HISTORIC MANOR'S] Garden — Who can work in a garden and keep every hair in place all dressed in White!? a laughing matter!

This is my favorite part. THiS iS MY FAVORITE PART. GET DRIVE-THROUGH BELGIAN WAFFLES!

If I still worked for a Newspaper I would. Too old Want MORE Truth from an Old Timer that is an American and White. As Us and Print iT! Stop pampering —

The people who Work hard in this town to keep it SAFE and CLEAN by [SOMETHING] and [SOMETHING] do not get credit.

And when is a fire going to be put under City Council to get off their Butts and do wht City needs not what they want!! Overhear Variations and insults from [ENGLAND? DOES THAT SAY ENGLAND?]!

The last editor-publisher will not Print "Letters to the Editor" but a bunch of stuff from every place else — We want NEWS and Pictures and letters from the Tax Payers who are Pleased with this crappy Town or Not!

Not <3's and flowers of the [GREEK] or [GREEK] or [BLACK] family! Isn't it a town of Working caring PEOPLE for everyone anymore. Do they have to be from Calif. or Ga.?

Alzheimer's is a bitch, ain't it?

letter the thirty-fifth: It starts to come out

2010-01-06T11:17:00.002-05:00

I've been sent another installment. I would have taken a picture but I'm trying really hard to get these out before noon and I failed on that resolution on the second day. You know what it looks like: Scrolly old person cursive in fountain pen on unlined paper with a postscript on a small rectangle on the back.

Today, the letter writer begins to explain the Greek hatred (namely two families, apparently) and their revisionist history for celebrating the history of a city founded well after her family built the Santa Maria and bulldozed Plymouth Rock to make Jamestown Mall.

Grandma isn't bitter and off her pills at all. Nope. Not at all.

HISTORY NOT [ARMY BASE]'S! [THIS IS ACTUALLY SIDEWAYS ON THE PAGE]

[COUNTY] in 1930s and before didn't have a High School, the [COUNTY] people who wanted High School education went with relatives and rode the Street Car 1930s

I loved [CITY]!

I went to Washington to work after graduation in 1934!.

This from a responsible 91 year old that worked for 37 years for Federal Government. I was first civilian female to go to all male Military (Government) School I was hired by Mr. Eugene Meyer to work at WAshington Post (he had just bought) in 1936, but I resigned when was called back in Government

I did historical research for 3 W+M. students. They graduated and received 100 on paper they wrote.

I gave many suggestions to the "Big Shots" who used my suggestion as their own.

I also helped [GREEK] family from [A WORD STARTING WITH A?] and a FBI Agent (female) of same family with their history.

I haven't received credit for ANY suggestions I have made and Neither have any of the original settles of [COUNTY AND CITY]. The Real settlers and people who have studied the history — THE REAL HISTORY — Not SEARS + ROEBUCK OF he 1920s but the 1600s is ignored. [CITY] became a Independent City in 1965. Before they were [COUNTY]

[ON BACK]

I am tired of hearing of Grant that is not the history — Real OLD history of [PART OF TOWN?] history and the place where [GREEKS] lived is the [NAME] Gentleman's Club where the "Gentlemen" entertained, "The Ladies of the Evening!" Not "[HISTORIC MANOR?]" The father of [GREEK] ran the Famous [RESTAURANT] that dump.

letter the thirty-fourth: apparently large question marks are catching

2010-01-05T14:20:00.000-05:00

The contributor of today's installment [sorry it's late, I was at the state capitol ... oooh ... seat of power and (and sometime seat of insanity)] said that the town this is from has/had a large Greek population and a lot of old people hate them. Absolutely hate them. He/she has a few from this same writer ("They may be the same letter in several installments. We aren't sure.") and there are apparently potshots at the Greeks and "Negros" every now and then that have nothing to do with anything. I can't wait for more.

The front (back?) of the letter presents this is some sort of newcomers guide or something. The reverse is a rant against social services ... I guess. I was surprised that I could read this but I sorta understand. There are myriad reasons why people are out of work and some of that has to do with technology. Some of that has to do with people not wanting to do a certain job. Some of it is because of pure capitalism: it's cheaper for a company to get someone to do the same job in an economically-depressed country over people in the U.S. wanting health insurance or vacation or stupid things like that.

Or it could be the fault of the Greeks and Negros. I don't know.

Note the glorious question mark at the top. I think I shall call this c-money-itis because it must be a disease that must be eradicated from the earth. Beyond that, this letter has it all: all caps, cursive, underlines, exclamation marks and other questionable punctuation, non sequitur racist comments, you name it. Someone needs to hide the pens and paper from grampa or grandma. I picture a granddaughter taking her boyfriend over for Thanksgiving and whispering at the stoop, "For the love of God, don't tell Uncle Wallie that your last name is Plagianakos!"

Greeks and Negros Have Nose in Every Thing Sneaky!

READ THIS YOU AS ALSO A NEWCOMER WILL LEARN A LOT IF YOU WANT TO!

LOT OF GREEKS LAWYER HERE!

OR SCARED TO

WHY ISN'T THE REAL HISTORY OF TOWN NOT PROMOTED? IT WAS NOT GRANT + LINCOLN JUST OVER 150 YEARS AGO IT WAS OVER 300 YRS AGO!

Another Report or Question for [CITY] "News."

I lived here during Depression Years My Mother worked for W.P.A. and young men worked for C.C.C.!

I worked going to high School at Night drugstore Saturdays Woolworth's!

We WORKED — My brother in high school Washed Blankets for Hospital — We knew head nurse there that gave him what he wanted [GIGGITY?] NOT Charity but WORK!

This is something for your paper to question — "A Town full of Adults:

WALL TO WALL WORK including A Huge (THEME PARK) Military Base — [NAME OF BASE] (ONLY BASE — I HAVE TOURED MANY) TO HAVE A CIVILIAN CLUB? BUT [CITY] HAS WALL TO WALL WELFARE, SOCIAL SERVICES AND HUD! WHY?

IN 1930s WE HAD ONE POLICE OFFICER! WHY THE CHANGE SINCE 1970S?

Happy New Year!

2010-01-04T08:49:00.000-05:00

"Please run with the attached photo."

letta da toity toid: Irony, thy name is c-money

2009-12-28T11:34:00.000-05:00

I was going to give myself a break from poking fun at people like c-money until the new year but 1) the letters kept coming and 2) apparently, scare tactics will not work. The next few ones mixed in with a treasure trove of leditors I've been given are about this "dam health care" obviously. I don't think c-money has sent one since it passed.

I give this one points for the changing in fonts, colors, sizes and the smaller or non-existent question marks with questions. Oh, and the wanting something everyone agrees on versus unequivocally voting on party lines to prove a point and the wanting citizens to have the chance to read the document and decide on it because that's what a democratic republic is all about.

The moral of this leditor, gentle readers, is that scare tactics do not work.

IS THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT

THREATENING THE AMERICAN PEOPLE?

Just like he Threatened Senators, do what we

say or your state will lose out?

Is This what he just said on TV.

Are We, The American People Going To Stand For That!

Call or write your Senators

VOTE "NO"

I just heard the President on TV, stating unless the Health Care Bill Passes, all kinds of bad things with happen to out country, Really! Scare tactics will not work. The more you threaten the American People, the more resolved we become.

America, can you ever remember a President go on TV and Threaten the people that put him, BY MISTAKE, into office? What kind of man does that?

Who does this man think he is. America is not Iran, Iraq or Kenya. He must not be allow to threaten the American People this way. We are not his SLAVES. He works for us, and its about time he starts listening to the American People.

Kill this DAM Health Care Bill, America Can Not Afford It, we do not want it. We want to start over, put together something ALL of what Americans can agree on. We want to be able to READ every word, before anything is allowed to be signed. We do not want this one to pass. All Senators vote NO, or your Fired, so help us God come election in Nov, and especially in 2012.

letter the thirty-second: Twenty-six! That's 22!

2009-12-22T13:04:00.001-05:00

We're going to take a hiatus for Christmas and New Year's after this one since your humble leditor is plans on being far away from his desk for at least eight of the next 12 days (the beauty of not working at a daily)

Luckily, c-money has not been institutionalized (yet) and wrote again to give us our Christmas gift.

SICKENING.........ISN'T IT?

WHERE AMERICA'S MONEY IS BEING WASTED

First Lady Now Requires 26 Servants

Reported by Canada Free Press

The Canadian Free Press had to publish this, USA media is too

scared that they might be considered racist or suffer at the hands of Obama.

No, Michele Obama does not get paid to serve as the First Lady and she doesn’t perform any official duties. But this hasn’t deterred her from hiring an unprecedented number of staffers to cater to her every whim and to satisfy her every request in the midst of the Great Recession, DID YOU OK THIS AMERICA?

American's are doing without, saving, doing what we can to just survive, but not the First Lady. Do you think America she deserves special treatment for doing NOTHING?

How things have changed! If you’re one of the tens of millions of Americans facing certain destitution, earning less than subsistence wages stocking the shelves at Wal-Mart or serving up McDonald cheeseburgers, prepare to scream and then come to realize that the benefit package for these servants of Miz Michele are the same as members of the national security and defense departments and the bill for these assorted lackeys is paid by John Q. Public, YOU.

$172,2000 - Sher, Susan (CHIEF OF STAFF)
$140,000 - Frye, Jocelyn C. (DEPUTY ASSISTANT TO THE PRESIDENT AND DIRECTOR OF POLICY AND PROJECTS FOR THE FIRST LADY)
$113,000 - Rogers, Desiree G. (SPECIAL ASSISTANT TO THE PRESIDENT AND WHITE HOUSE SOCIAL SECRETARY)
$102,000 - Johnston, Camille Y. (SPECIAL ASSISTANT TO THE PRESIDENT AND DIRECTOR OF COMMUNICATIONS FOR THE FIRST LADY)
Winter, Melissa E. (SPECIAL ASSISTANT TO THE PRESIDENT AND DEPUTY CHIEF OF STAFF TO THE FIRST LADY)
$90,000 - Medina, David S. (DEPUTY CHIEF OF STAFF TO THE FIRST LADY)
$84,000 - Lelyveld, Catherine M. (DIRECTOR AND PRESS SECRETARY TO THE FIRST LADY)
$75,000 - Starkey, Frances M. (DIRECTOR OF SCHEDULING AND ADVANCE FOR THE FIRST LADY)
$70,000 - Sanders, Trooper (DEPUTY DIRECTOR OF POLICY AND PROJECTS FOR THE FIRST LADY)
$65,000 - Burnough, Erinn J. (DEPUTY DIRECTOR AND DEPUTY SOCIAL SECRETARY)
Reinstein, Joseph B. (DEPUTY DIRECTOR AND DEPUTY SOCIAL SECRETARY)
$62,000 - Goodman, Jennifer R. (DEPUTY DIRECTOR OF SCHEDULING AND EVENTS COORDINATOR FOR THE FIRST LADY)
$60,000 - Fitts, Alan O. (DEPUTY DIRECTOR OF ADVANCE AND TRIP DIRECTOR FOR THE FIRST LADY)
Lewis, Dana M. (SPECIAL ASSISTANT AND PERSONAL AIDE TO THE FIRST LADY)
$52,500 - Mustaphi, Semonti M. (ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR AND DEPUTY PRESS SECRETARY TO THE FIRST LADY)
$50,000 - Jarvis, Kristen E. (SPECIAL ASSISTANT FOR SCHEDULING AND TRAVELING AIDE TO THE FIRST LADY)
$45,000 - Lechtenberg, Tyler A. (ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR OF CORRESPONDENCE FOR THE FIRST LADY)
Tubman, Samantha (DEPUTY ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR,SOCIAL OFFICE)
$40,000 - Boswell, Joseph J. (EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT TO THE CHIEF OF STAFF TO THE FIRST LADY)
$36,000 - Armbruster, Sally M. (STAFF ASSISTANT TO THE SOCIAL SECRETARY)
Bookey, Natalie (STAFF ASSISTANT)
Jackson, Deilia A. (DEPUTY ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR OF CORRESPONDENCE FOR THE FIRST LADY)

Total roughly, $1,155,800.00 - For a person who has no particular job to do, it's outrageous. Call your Representatives ask them to put a Bill in that restricts our money being wasted on pampering, when the rest of America is scraping just to get by. America has no obligation to have to pay to take care of her. We are asked to cut Connors, try and do without, asked to pay for something America can't afford. When is the White House going to tighten there belts, there personal belts, When? Why are we asked to pay for this? All there shows there having at the White House is extra, I'm sure.

LET'S PUT A STOP TO WASTEFUL SPENDING, GOOD PLACE TO START!

A quick glance at the Web site for the Canada Free Press shows that it isn't an unbiased news outlet. It's unabashedly conservative. That's all fine and dandy but I don't like "news outlets" that cover things such as international news with such a narrow view. It at least says that it has a slant. I can go on about the whys and wherefores about blatantly biased sites but I'm trying not to rant today.

The Office of the First Lady has its roots in the 1800s and you can check that out at the White House Museum and several historical accounts for proof. Before people start foaming at the mouth about how this is still a waste of money or just a drop in the bucket, let's say 100 million people in the country actively pay taxes. That's about one cent a year from all of them to pay for this office. HOLY SHIT, THEY ARE WASTING MY PENNY.

Third, can someone please teach c-money English? And maybe math?

"They sent it to us on wallpaper."

2009-12-21T11:15:00.001-05:00

For some reason, my first thought was that the copy editor meant it was a screen capture from someone's desktop. Oh no. No.

This is taped to a strip of paste-in-your-grandma's-dining-room wallpaper. To quote c-money, WHY?
Is it supposed to make it look pretty? Do they realized we aren't going to scan it in, especially after they scratched out shit in the write up? What the hell? Really.

"Place it on its side and it's a symbol meaning Infinity"

2009-12-18T11:08:00.001-05:00

I was excited when I got a envelope that said in all caps "U.S. HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES ... OFFICIAL BUSINESS." I wondered what it could possibly be and figured whatever it was it had to be incredibly awesome because it wasn't from a representative from our coverage area. I wondered if I were going to D.C. to cover something or got invited to something or if all of those rumors that journalists get paid off by every Tom, Dick and Harry were actually true and I was about to become someone's pundit.

The answer? None of the above. Or Simon and Garfunkel.

Let's take a gander at this. I didn't mean to blot out his name for this technical celebritor. If you're that concerned about who it is, I'll make you work for it. The packet was effectively a press release and a glossy brochure on the representative's commission. We're quite far from not only that district and D.C. and we're a hyperlocal so it doesn't pertain to us directly. I mean, we could localize it but it would be awesome if someone from our coverage area was involved.

Then there's the Simon and Garfunkel quote. I like Simon and Garfunkel. I wasn't expecting to see Simon and Garfunkel so something with a shiny U.S. seal and a watermarked cursive "Liberty" on the paper and the words "HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES" to have a quote from a Simon and Garfunkel song.

Then there's the signature. As you can see, the good representative's initials are F.R.W. I can't think of an instance where any of those letters would resemble an 8. When I showed this to someone to point out the out-of-the-blue Simon and Garfunkel quote, the first question was "Why is there a giant blue 8 on the letter?"

Oh, and he spelled my name wrong. There are several variations of spelling for my name (it's a common name ... sorta) and it always comes out wrong. I, of course, feel my version is correct but more famous people have the version I get.

It's wrong on my business cards. One of our page designers spelled it wrong on a page I didn't proof after my name was stuck on it. I've sent one of my friends several e-mails with my signature attached in large c-money-style letters and, in the reply, he spells my name wrong. I had hoped a member of Congress who wouldn't know me from Adam but found it fit to send me and probably every newspaper in the state his pitch to curb federal spending to have the resources to spell my fucking name correctly.

If you're wondering about the subject title and the quote next to the 8, look here.

Thursday Deaths, vol. 7

2009-12-17T11:09:00.001-05:00

Let us pay our respects to the following. May they rest in peace.

• GPS tracking with Google Earth;
• Your order; and, saddest of all,
• Solving ALL love making problems in a matter of few minutes.

From what I've heard, a slight mapping mistake led GPS tracking, who was hiking with Your order, directly into the gaping mouth of a volcano. As you may recall, we lost Solution for your sexual life in August. 'Tis a pity. Who can we turn to now? What could have been the solution to our sexual lives? What could have solved not some but ALL love making problems in a matter of few minutes? Now we'll never know! The horror!

Short & Sweet

2009-12-16T10:51:00.000-05:00

Someone liked my recent theme of adding comments directly to the leditor. I approve.

Hed: A great budget gift for those on a budget
Suggested hed: A great sucky headline for those who suck

letter the thirty-first: just remember, to remember

2009-12-15T13:18:00.000-05:00

C-money is so angry, he/she forgot how to spell again. The letters have seemingly stopped so I'm assuming someone took the computer away or someone came to take c-money away.

Today, c-money feels that the government is further taking us to hell in a hand basket and will do so under the guise of military spending. The spending is criminal and it punishes those who are "fightening" for us.

I interviewed someone today. She was emotional and admitted that she couldn't get everything out the way she wanted. But you know what? She had official documentation of what she was talking about. Ever since I began paying some attention to politics in high school, I've seen nothing but an endless chain of people foaming at the mouth about vague things the government is doing to ruin the country. None of them mention how in the blue hell they came to that conclusion about what is going on in Congress. I hate that having a paper trail to draw a conclusion is no longer the norm. Who needs to cover there ass if their caught in a lie. Apparently Congress does.

TRYING TO COVER THERE ASS

RAISE THE US DEBT TO OVER ANOTHER TRILLION

and BECAUSE OF PELOSI, THERE ATTACHING IT TO,

SUPPORT OUR SOLDIERS.

AMERICA IS SUPPOSE TO TRUST THEM WITH OUR HEALTH CARE

I DON'T THINK SO! THEY'VE SHOWN JUST HOW

MUCH WE SHOULD TRUST THEM.

Just how rotten can Pelosi and this Administration get? Pelosi could care less about our Soldiers or the American People. Why do the American People and our Children have to pay, because they wouldn't listen to the American People. Let them pay it with a couple of years of there full Salaries, including the Presidents. Why not, why do the American People have to pay for what an incompetent administration did? When do we say enough, your fired. If this administration passes this, they should all go to JAIL. Especially Pelosi. You don't go out of the way to punish our Soldiers. But of course that is why she did it, because she understands that we protect our men and women fightening to protect America.

As much as I hate to say this, write your Senators, tell them to vote NO. WE HAVE TO STOP THIS DESTRUCTION OF OUR COUNTRY. As much as we don't want to, we have to. Write your Senators TODAY. We must get this message across ASAP. Just remember, to remember this come November.

spam we can believe in

2009-12-14T07:15:00.001-05:00

I know this isn't a leditor per se but it routed the spam filter and got to the inbox. I HAD to open it. It's from the Barack H. Obama Foundation. How could I not? Especially since it came twice.

I'm so glad the president decided to give me a bit of economic stimulus (gee ... that sounds dirty) and set up some money in an alleged bank in the United Kingdom with a domain of 8.am when it's clearly 7:18.am. And what's up with the Spanish at the bottom? It is too early in the morning for me to try to translate that. It probably says, "I can't believe you American idiot will give us this information. We're going to rob you blind and I bet you'll blame the president!"
That's all I got for now. I'm far too busy to poke more fun at this. Feel free to poke fun yourself.
Not slightly racist at all,

Abon'go Leditor Editor

letter the thirtieth: when does it matter?

2009-12-11T11:06:00.000-05:00

I don't think I've ever spelled out 30th before. It looks funny.

You know what else looks funny? When question marks are larger than capital letters.

Change In America

THE FUNDAMENTAL TRANSFORMATION OF AMERICA
WHEN DOES IT MATTER?
This is a mistake we put this person in the White House
He is killing our country, trying to take our Freedom, Put Seniors in Danger, Trying to Take Our Guns, Trying
to re-write our Constitution, Trying to force changes
down our throats, that Americans are saying NO to.
THIS MAN MUST BE A ONE TERM President

Our biggest enemy is not China, Russia, Iran; no, our biggest enemy
is a contingent of politicians in Washington DC.

They must be FIRED come Election 2010
America Deserves Better!
America Can Recover, but
only if we get rid of the trash.
Plan to make this coming Election the biggest this country as ever seen. We
must clean house. BEWARE, they may make things look better, just to
get re-elected, don't fall for that. Be smart this time.

NEVER FORGET WHAT THIS ADMINISTRATION
HAVE DONE TO THIS COUNTRY

This Administration is DANGEROUS for Americans

Again, c-money gets SO close to sounding like a normal opinionated human being with something that could conceivably go into an editorial page but falls flat.

I never really liked opinion pieces. I'm a fan of citing sources and those sources being credible. When I first read something about the Patriot Act, I thought it was a joke because 1) it sounded like something that wouldn't fly in a million years, especially if the public heard about it and 2) I couldn't find more information beyond the OMG MORE GOVERNMENT INTURSIONZ!1 page I found.

In this day and age of countless plans and documents being released that people don't want released, show me something. Also, do so in a fucking correct sentence. I know some people say you should look at the message and not the grammar but, when I have to take an extra 30 seconds to figure out what the hell the message is supposed to be, you lost me. You especially lose me when you press every Rich Text button you have because IT SHOWS THE GRAVITY OF THE SITUATION!

I'm going to start writing articles like that. CITY COUNCIL APPROVED FUNDING for a new high school.
I hope to God some people don't learn more about HTML or CSS or we'll start seeing e-mails flashing like Times Square on crack.

Thursday Deaths, vol. 6

2009-12-10T10:44:00.000-05:00

The obits e-mail account was full of shocking news today.
Let us pause and give our condolences to:
• CNN Alerts: My custom alert;
• Second Month;
• 1301-364;
• Solution for your sexual life; and
• Big pecker equal more action

Not only did we lose the entire month of February overnight, the number 937 is no longer with us. I'm so incredibly sorry that the solution for your sexual life is gone and you have no idea how near and dear CNN Alerts: My custom alert was to my heart.

May they rest in peace.

letter the twenty-ninth: YOU Must Bombard Writing

2009-12-09T10:57:00.000-05:00

Congratulations, c-money: you get your very own tag!

Also, I knew your impeccable spelling couldn't last for long. Why ever did I doubt you?

SENIORS, NOW IS THE TIME TO PUSH "VOTE NO"

CUTES IN MEDICARE - $400 Billion - RATIONING

GOVERNMENT RUN HEALTH CARE

All will take place unless we stand up

YOU Must Bombard Writing Your Senators,

Newspapers, even The President

ALL IS ON THE LINE NOW

CALL YOUR REPRESENTATIVES, CALL YOUR STATE LEGISLATORS

Remind Them a yes vote, is committing Political Subside, Come Next Election.

This will pass, its up to us to make the people we put into office, to

make them HEAR US, and Know WE WILL NOT FORGET COME NEXT ELECTION.

You're absolutely right: the last thing we need are cutes in Medicare. All that will lead to is an increase in Viagra sales. I'm also glad that you're encouraging all to bombard writing me as well. It's working so well with you. I need these leditors to keep me alive. If they stop coming, I may commit subside.

don't let the door hit you ...

2009-12-08T11:03:00.001-05:00

Some newspaper staffers at the "Harvard Crimson" had a bit of the ol' sour grapes as they were leaving their positions. This is amazing. My only comment is burn. Very burn. Read it here.

letter the twenty-eighth: NOT SPAM

2009-12-07T09:51:00.001-05:00

Oh, c-money, you endless source of entertainment, you.

The e-mails come prefaced with "NOT SPAM" in the subject line now. I think the amount of people this goes to has expanded. I'll take another count tomorrow because there's yet another one.

Current proposed Health Care Bill, will cost closer to

$2.5 Trillion, instead of the $849 Billion

America, WERE IS THE MONEY COMING FROM?

Higher Taxes?

Medicare Cuts?

Rationing ?

Government Run Plan?

Your Children Pay It?

PRINT MORE MONEY?

Borrow From Another Country?

Taxing Employers?

Another Stimulus Package?

ALL OF THE ABOVE!

I Know, VOTE the DEMOCRATS OUT OF OFFICE

Bring Back American Values

Use Common Sense

Save Our FREEDOM

JOB GROWTH

NO GOVERNMENT HEALTH CARE PACKAGE

STOP SPENDING, now there's a different idea.

I admire you use of boldface and varying font sizes, especially how the word "FROM" gradually becomes bold and then GIANT QUESTION MARK. But you make me sad, c-money. You're getting gradually closer and closer to writing like a rational human being. I mean, if you an start using sentences, back off the caps lock and not be in New Hampshire, you could be onto getting onto an opinion page. Until then, Weird candy cane header? Rethorical questions? CAPITAL LETTERS? BOLDFACE? LARGE FONTS? GET DRIVE-THROUGH BELGIAN WAFFLES?! YES!

more from c-mizzle

2009-12-04T11:28:00.001-05:00

I think c-money is going to be our new friend. They get less crazy and better spelled as they go along but just barely. This was still an epic carpet bomb and I like the real name and the directions in the signature.

NOTIFICATION OF A SCAM BEING PLAYED

ON THE AMERICAN PEOPLE

MYSTERY SHOPPERS WANTED

Be Wise Before You Act, Think Twice, Then Think Again

They ask you for your Name, Address, City, State and Zip, after a few e-mail they will send you three or four MoneyGram(Money Orders).

They look real. What they want you to do is to deposit them into your own Bank and take out your pay, which they say is $300 dollars, and use #200.00 more to shop with. Send them information for your stores you shopped at. Then send the balance to them in a US MoneyGram/Money Order.

DO NOT SEND YOUR OWN MONEY

Report it to the FBI

e-mail - Boston@IC.FBI.Gov or go to: http://boston.fbi.gov/

The MoneyGram/Money Orders will be made out in your name - DO NOT TRY TO DEPOSIT THEM INTO YOUR BANK, THEY ARE FRAUD.

Some people have deposited them into there Banks, took there own money out and sent them what was the balance of what they requested of you. When your bank could not cash them, these crooks already had your money, so guess who is left out in the cold, YOU!

_________________

[NAME]

New Hampshire

[email]
[phone number]

You have my permission to print this notice, except my e-mail or phone, thank you

This is important, people all across the country have lost money to there crooks, please Print Head up warning

Remember checks for #money are fraud.

Thursday Deaths, vol. 5

2009-12-03T10:10:00.000-05:00

The spammers got a little creative this week. If poetry is dead, they killed it.
"What do you do with a B.A. in English?" Well, poetry majors can no longer aspire to work for Burma Shave so I guess penis enlargement ads are the next best thing. The following are the first lines of two consecutive e-mails that came in the spam folder.

"Your member will rich with every inch/Your male tool will shine like a jewel"
"Swim in deeper ocean with your new proportion"

Instead of deleting them, I almost want to send a reply along the line of that being a valiant effort but I must give them a C. Now, if they send me spam in a spondee or an iamb instead of childish trochees, I might just be inclined to buy their snake oil.

letter the twenty-sixth: a very important message

2009-12-02T14:18:00.001-05:00

c-money is in da hizzle, yo!

The e-mail went to a whopping 54 e-mail addresses. Fifty-four. If you didn't get a copy, you should be jealous.

URGENT! AMERICAN GUN OWNERS BEING SOLD OUT

This is Real and a Real Threat!

America Gun Owners had better wake up now, and stop the selling out of American's ,that is going on in Washington. Democracy is out the door. We ARE BEING SOLD DOWN THE RIVER FASTER THAN WE CAN BLINK.

U.S. Reverses Stance on Treaty to Regulate Arms Trade.

Go to: http://www.24hourcampfire.com/ubbthreads/ubbthreads.php/topics/3462074/Obama_Finds_Legal_Way_Around_T

Obama Takes First Step in Banning All Firearms.

On Wednesday the Obama administration took its first major step in a plan to ban all firearms in the United States . The Obama administration intends to force gun control and a complete ban on all weapons for US citizens through the signing of international treaties with foreign nations.

Once the US Government signs these international treaties, all US citizens will be subject to those gun laws created by foreign governments. The Obama administration is attempting to use tactics and methods of gun control that will inflict major damage to our 2nd Amendment before US citizens even understand what has happened.

Contact your NRA Representative, find out what Gun Owners can do to stop this.

Pass this to EVERYONE YOU KNOW, we must get the word out. Contact all Gun Shops, Fish and Game Clubs, anywhere there are Gun Owners.

If you have noticed, I've been copying and pasting these gems lately. It's been painful to not only read some of these but also type them. They make my fingers cry.

This time around C-to-da-Monay did a better job at spelling and grammar. I guess it is necessary as this is an important message about the erosion of rights that has what looks like a link to a message board as its source. I'm not clicking on it. If anyone's brave enough to see where the English language goes to die in the land of tin foil hats, report back here.

I think the bottom is the best part:

This is very important to Gun Owners in your state, please print this article ASAP Front Page if Possible

Who in the Devil is going to run THAT on the front page? BREAKING NEWS: Someone on that there messagin' board said the country's been sold down the river this morning. We have no proof beyond the message board. THE GOVERNMENT IS DAMAGING THE CONSTITUTION BECAUSE THE MESSAGE BOARD SAID SO. IF THEY DO THIS WE WILL NEVER HEAR ABOUT [SHOT] JV FOOTBALL AGAIN. THE INTERNETS TOLD ME. IT MUST BE TRUE.

Yes, our and pretty much every other government has done something shady in the background and had silently taken something away. But the source of this information is a message board somewhere? With absolutely no proof whatsoever beyond that. And you want this on the FRONT PAGE ASAP?

I'm going to start my own Internet panic rumor. Congress passed legislation that says the Pledge of Allegiance will be changed to include pecans as those will replace the stars on the flag after we merge with the European Union in 2011. The EU uses pecans to display its dominance over the US. THEY WILL TAKE AWAY OUR RIGHTS AND MAKE US EAT PECAN PIE AS A SIGN OF SUBMISSION. WE MUST GET THE WORD OUT. BOYCOTT PECANS BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE. AMERICA IS THE LAND OF THE FREE, NOT THE LAND OF PECANS. NOT THE VARSITY.

letter the twenty-fifth: wait ... drive-through waffles?! SWEET.

2009-12-01T11:35:00.001-05:00

There was a restaurant listing without a full address and I'll be the farm on the restaurant being well-known in the area to the point that you're an idiot if you don't know where it is.

"As for the charges of racism ... ???" the contributor said.

Where on Grand River? What city, I can see why you can only write for the [NEWSPAPER]. This is a waste of my time with your shoddy reporting, does this restaurant even exist, you are a racist pig for this irresponsible stereotyping.

[THE] Cafe It's a drive-thru on Grand River that has a more massive menu than most restaurants! Get drive-thru Belgian waffles!

How dare you offend the Belgians but now sharing where to get their waffles! I bet you tell everyone where to get French toast. Why do you hate Belgium and the [SHOT!] JV football team so much?

You know, if this guy knows where it is on Grand River and what's on the menu and is lazy enough to get waffles from a fucking drive through, yes reading the listing WAS a waste of his time. The restaurant probably doesn't exist anymore because you were so busy drooling with your finger up your nose to go through the drive through correctly and smashed into a wall. AND i REFUSE TO SPELL THROUGH WiTH JUST THE U.