Toast on the Ceiling

So yeah let me clarify something from before

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer A.) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 22:47:00 +0000

So I mentioned the whole IEP thing before. I forget sometimes that not everyone lives with the lovely rules that Illinois has.

First off. the Catholic school my daughter attends and the one I want my son to go to is NOT in the same district as we live. Even if, there are rules. Rules I still DON'T understand.
If we attended a private school in the district, I would have to accept whatever time given for his services (speech and OT). They will say, OT on Tues at 12 and Speech on Wens at 2. That's how it works, my understanding is drop in services are last to be placed. I, not the school, would be responsible for transporting him to the school where he would get services (the school he attends now) for the minutes stated on the IEP (right now 60/wk). Then I, not the school district, would be responsible for getting him back to school. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Now, this gets slightly complicated since the Catholic school is out of our district. First, the IEP has to be transferred to the other district. School districts HATE this. They have to pay the school district who has your kid, so your tax money leaves the district and the district take it personally, I've been told. The district tell us when and where we'd get services. Then all the rest applies above.

However, the school that may provide services may NOT be close to his Catholic school. It could be on the other side of town, but for drop in services, we have to go where we are told.

I had hoped that his IEP would be cancelled this year, but that does look to be the case. God really is liking messing with me.

So, let the fun begin.

(yeah and really, I'd talk about things going on, but what is the point if people don't get that you cannot have directions thrown at you verbally when you learn by hands on or by reading? Or really don't care how you feel as long as you are "there" and they don't have to do your work. So done with it. Getting used to being ignored, until something is needed. Can I retire now?)

(Also, nothing like hearing MULTIPLE TIMES at the walk in clinic I CANNOT GET PREGNANT on Depakote since its a Class X drug. And can lead to a kid born with spinal defect, no brain, etc. Yeah, yeah I GET IT, REALLY! So right now, having to hide family planning supplies so Jimmy will stop paying with them.)

Just another day that belongs on FMyLife

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer A.) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 21:05:00 +0000

Oh yeah, good times for all.

First, walked in to find out a co-worker had passed away from cancer. The notice was sent after many of the employees left for the day on Friday. She had been battling for a long time and had gone into Hospice last week.

After that, someone this morning thinking a cup of coffee is an apology for what they did and it just magically makes things better. IT DOES NOT!

Then, listening to a co-worker talking about going to the wake tonight and not thrilled to hear that I am not going. The thing is, most people in our office are going and her spouse is going to be overwhelmed between family, friends and co-workers. I was going to send a card and go out to the cemetary in a few weeks. Not the first time I've looked like the jerk in my department.

Oh and thank you to the ZERO people who told me I had blood on my pants and didn't know it until I went to the bathroom. Its that fun part in my period with bleeding throught Super Plus tampons every hour and passing clots. This is the part that sucks about being taken off birth control pills. I got to spend a wonderful lunch hour replacing my pants. Thanks.

Then, have to listen to people complain about doing other's work. This is part of our job and I usually end up inheriting a mess when the original person was on vacation or out ill. Suck it up and get over it, please. You have a problem with it, take it to our boss, not me. I was only trying to help get things resolved and get it off your desk.

I got home to find the lovely notice of the IEP meeting for Jimmy, which is next Friday. I'm reading the cast of characters that need to be there, and its all the ones we know; early childhood teacher, speech therapist, OT, when I come across a speech therapist's name I don't recognize. Then I see another special education teacher and the kindergarten teacher listed. So much for the IEP being cancelled. They are trying to hang onto him. I was so hoping they would say, ok he doesn't need services and I could move him to the Catholic school. Now I have to transfer his IEP to the school district Catholic School is in, and then take him for services to the public school. Or keep him in the craptacular public school. I'm not thrilled. And let's not forget listening to the principal going on about Bri not going in the district. Ugh.

Yeah so, I'd just love to take a handful of my meds and go to sleep, but all they will do is damage my liver and NyQuil is out. I'm almost out of migraine emergency meds but new neuro won't fill them since he wants me to go to pain management and get shots in my neck.

Its going to be a fun week.

If I could think of a title it would be good

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer A.) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 04:23:00 +0000

So yeah, not much to report. Trying to get through the month and survive Thanksgiving. Trying to find out what happened to our neighbor. We haven't seen him in a while and his kids have been buy picking up his mail and mowing the yard. We keep missing them when they are here to see what is going on. I raked his yard last weekend and filled 10 yard waste bags with leaves. Bri could not understand why I would do something like that without being asked or paid. Need to work on the whole do a good turn thing with the kids again.
James is taking a Mixed Martial Arts class at the Y. So far he likes it a lot. The kids are taking swim lessons and that is going really well. Bri has a goofball for a teacher, but if she is learning, it is fine by me. Its not like he's tossing the kids in the deep end without life vests. The instructor is silly with the kids, but they like him and I think the comedy puts them at ease with learning things like stinking their heads in the water.
As for me, I'm not taking any classes. I have no desire to do anything right now besides try and stay upright because of the new medication. So much fun.
Work has been ok but its going to get busy really soon. Job security is good, but chaos is annoying.
And that's it. Going to a Pioneer meeting and work on kitch village this weekend.

Another fun week around here

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer A.) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 02:34:00 +0000

So, we caught up from illneses and made it though Halloween.
The kids had a good time. They did a little bit of trick or treating on Saturday. It turned cold, just in time for the day.
However, the past week has been unfun. We have a little PMSing 7 year old kid in the house. Bri has had such an attitude this week. I told James if it does not get better, we need to get the doc involved. There is a history of early periods in James's family. And I have STRESSED to the ped in the past that I do not want Bri being a second/third grader carrying pads in her backpack.
But the behavior of this past week is concerning me. A LOT. She's constantly snapping at Jimmy when he wants to play, yelling at us when we ask her to do something. Its so annoying when you think you have a few years, but puberty is staring you in the face.
Also, not feeling well doesn't help. I can only describe the dizzyness as whiplash like. I feel great, it hits me, and then goes away. Add nausea and its been fun. I'm actually afraid to call this doc and tell him. I don't think he could have stressed that he only wants calls during office hours ONLY and with his attitude, I'm sure he'll think this is normal and probably up my dose with NO blood work.
If you need me, I'll be asleep from the pain killers.

Should tattoo on my forehead I'm a total sucker for my kids

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer A.) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 02:32:00 +0000

After a week that involved bronchitis (for Bri), pneumonia (for James) and sinus issues, a migraine and a med change (for me) it was time to get back to some sort of normal around here. And no, we're not there yet.
Sunday, Bri had to go to mass to turn in her intent card for First Reconciliation and First Communion, that she wanted to proceed with her sacraments and James will be helping her. Did I mention we have homework due every two weeks until the end of January when she makes her First Confession and another retreat for Communion that hopefully she won't be sick for. Yeah and I get to join in this fun.
James took her to mass that day. So, in a effort to distract Jimmy, I suggested we go look for his costume. He wants to be Wall-E this year. However we have one teeny problem, I cannot find the costume. Before our adventures on Sunday, I had been to Disney, one Halloween store and a few big box retailers previously with no luck.
Jimmy and I headed off to the first Halloween store. You know the ones that take over a vacant store for a few weeks and only sell over priced costumes from last year. Yeah, those stores. The three we went to did not have anything resembling a Wall-E costume. So we gave up and came home.
Then I went online and found the costume! It would be $10 for shipping to get it here on time but hey, it would make him happy and all would be good. Or so I thought, until I hit add to cart and was informed, like ALL other on line retailers, that it was NOT AVAILABLE but they will send me an e-mail when it was. Yeah, not gonna work.
So, after James and Bri got back from church, we went to the store and got them costumes. Jimmy is now going to be Thomas and Bri is being some kimono cutie as it was a decent length and not slutty for a 7 yr old. And they were 30% off! Gotta love Christmas Creep.

no I don't play a doctor on TV, thanks for asking.

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer A.) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 23:06:00 +0000

Once again, something I said has been thrown in my face. There is no such thing as talking. Its more attack me and then backpetal anything was done wrong. I'm tired of it. Without being able to talk about them without my words being twisted, not sure if this blog will go on.

Neuro visit, I don't want to talk about anymore. I hate when a doctor asks me why another doctor did or prescribed something. I didn't go to med school, ask her yourself. All I want is a pain free day, which I guess is not going to happen.

I'm burnt out, hurt and sick. I give up. So I leave you with these lyrics:
Terrible Lie by Nine Inch Nails.

hey God
why are you doing this to me?
am i not living up to what i'm supposed to be?
why am i seething with this animosity?
hey God
i think you owe me a great big apology.

terrible lie
terrible lie
terrible lie
terrible lie

hey God
i really don't know what you mean.
seems like salvation come only in our dreams.
i feel my hatred grow all the more extreme.
hey God
can this world really be as sad as it seems?

terrible lie
terrible lie
terrible lie
terrible lie

don't take it away from me.
i need someone to hold on to.
don't take it away from me.
i need someone to hold on to.

hey God
there's nothing left for me to hide.
i lost my ignorance, security and pride.
i'm all alone in a world you must despise.
hey God
i believed your promises, your promises and lies.

terrible lie
terrible lie
terrible lie
terrible lie

you made me throw it all away.
my morals left to decay.
how many you betray.
you've taken everything.

terrible lie.
my head is filled with disease.
my skin is begging you please.
i'm on my hands and knees.
i want so much to believe.

Monday? That's all?

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer A.) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 03:21:00 +0000

Yeah, another wonderful week is beginning here. I'm not handling it well. Listening to people cough and hack all day at work, and then come home to two sick kids (one getting over strep, one has the flu, you can figure out who is who).
So, I found a new neuro for my second opinion. My original neuro will not see me again until we get another opinion on the headaches. I've never been told by a doc, I have no clue how to treat you so I can't anymore. And I'm running out of Paxil so I figured I needed to do something here. I go on Friday and its close to work and he's a migraine specialist. I haven't had a fully pain free day since Christmas. I can get a few pain free hours if I'm lucky. Today, I didn't have even pain free minutes.
Which that still is a point that makes me mad. I am in constant aggrivating pain all day and almost every one around me acts like a twit. Oh, well, so and so has a cold and we should have more sympathy for her than anyone else when they should really be in bed. I get sick and people complain about the work. Funny, I take care of their stuff with no complaints when they are out (and sometimes when they are there and overworked) but I take a day off and the you know what hits the fan. So, even thought I'm miserable, I have to force myself in so I won't hear about it. Teamwork is a big fat lie when the shoe is on the other foot.
I come home to huge behavior issues since Jimmy is still getting well and his behavior is rather crappy. I wanted to lay down this afternoon due to having a migraine. He decided to have a running conversation with me. Then tonight, he fought with me for 45 minutes about putting on his pajamas. 45 MINUTES! First, he wanted orange pajamas, which he does not have. I told him I found 6 pairs and please pick one. He picked Mickey Mouse ones. Then he told me he was going to put his clothes in the hamper. I came out to find him sitting on the stairs telling me he was not going to put them on. I finally gave up and let his dad handle it. Even after James and Bri got home from Urgent care, he refused and screamed, so Jimmy ended up in his room. After over an hour since the first request, he put his pajamas on.
Ah, I hope the rest of the week goes much faster.

Well at least its not H1N1

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer A.) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 00:23:00 +0000

Its never a good sign when you're out and your hubby texts you, are you still at the store?

Tuesday night, James texted me and then called when I was leaving WalMart.
I asked him what was up, and he replied do we have any carpet cleaner?
Jimmy had thrown up on the couch and wasn't feeling good. I got the carpet cleaner and went home. Jimmy was sleeping sort of. He was running a temp but refused to take more meds since he had taken Tylenol before he threw up. So, we went to bed and figured we'd review it in the morning.
About 5 am, I figured I gave up and called in to work to stay home with Jimmy. He had decided to sleep right next to my back, sweating, all night (My chest really hurts right now for reasons I cannot go into in this blog so I don't want ANYONE touching it. Althought I am getting better and no, its not implants.) James' work is not allowing them to take any time off until November so it fell on me as his mom.
I spent Wednesday with Jimmy acting like a blob. I know Jimmy is sick when he is not running around and having a running commentary on SpongeBob. I took a shower and got out to find him laying on the couch. He was just laying there. He laid on my bed almost all day and did not do anything, would not eat or drink either.
So James took him to urgent care when he got home since the ped is not in on Wens and she has no normal backup. I got a text while James and Jimmy were at the clinic that he did not have H1N1, he has strep. Oh goody. He came home and laid in a blob on the bed again while James ran to get his meds.
Today, my dad came over and watched him. Jimmy did not want to watch TV or eat or do anything . He fell asleep at 12:30 and slept for three hours. Then he got up and wanted to watch the Mr Men show. Then he demanded a steak taco and ate it. Then a waffle, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and some limeaide.
Yeah, I think he's going back to school tomorrow.

Santa* may lose her mind before the holidays

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer A.) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 03:25:00 +0000

I try to make Christmas a big deal for my kids. I try to get them at least a couple of the things on their lists each year.
This year, we have told the kids that Christmas may not be as big as years past due to many things happening. James and I have been discussing the lists the kids have given us and what we're going to get them. Yes they have their lists ready. Eema and Uncle J have started shopping for the kids. This is later than most years when everyone starts in August.
One of the things we had decided they could have from the lists was Zhu Zhu Pets. Have no clue what one is? Tomorrow afternoon, turn on Nick and wait for the ad. If you have kids, get yourself a pair of earplugs. You will THANK me for it. You may turn off the tv and make yourself a stiff drink afterwards.
So, I started researching them online and was SHOCKED how much they were going for on Ebay. Not happening, I'll wait for them to hit stores.
Well, they have come to stores, but there seems to be a couple problems.
The first is that they only seem to be at WalMart. Ugh.
Second is, I can find ever single accessory for the little electronic buggers, but not the hamsters. I can have all the surfboards, hamster balls and carriers my little brain can handle, but no battery munching hamsters. And they have signs posted all over that LIMIT 2! NO RAINCHECKS! NO DEALERS!
So, where the heck are they? If there are limits, why are there none of the battery operated hamsters to find?
This is one thing that both kids have on their lists. And I'm not objecting. Zhu Zhu pets don't escape, don't go into the furnace for fun, don't chew through the filter and don't keep Bri up all night chewing on her cage. Ok, not without some help. But right now, this is the Holy Grail of toys this year. I am NOT paying $60 for one hamster on Amazon. Then that would be the only gift they get.
So, I may lose my mind before the holidays. Stay tuned.

And how should a mom act?

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer A.) — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 02:15:00 +0000

(update - no Hammie. We're not sure where she is but we haven't found her yet)

So, I didn't write about this at the time it happened, but she still bothers me. I work with a woman we'll call Anna*. Anna is a few years older than me and has twins. Anna, I and a few other co-workers were discussing class reunions. Her grade school had a reunion at a bar a few weeks prior to this discussion. She kept going on how much of a blast it was, how fun it was, how drunk she got that night, and on and on. I said my high school class was having their 15th reunion at a bar again (so was the 10th and 5th) and I wasn't going, and Anna goes; oh quit acting like a mom and go, you'll have fun. Then she kept going on that I had a husband to watch the kids, I should get dressed up once in a while and quit acting like a mom.

That statement was WRONG on so many levels. First off, I don't enjoy trying to have a conversation in a bar. Hearing a band, yes. Talking about the past 10 years, no. I like to drink and have a good time but I personally want talk to people and see what they have been up to, not deal with drunken obnoxious people. Not my thing. All you can drink is not a good deal for most people I went to school with. They take FULL advantage of it. Plus, Jeff isn't talking to me and my other friend Sharon doesn't drink anymore, so who exactly would I go with? Paying $30 to stand around at a dive bar is not my idea of a good Saturday night.

Then, the other day, after the regularly scheduled fire drill, Anna was talking to another co-worker in the elevator back upstairs that she wants to get her nose pierced because she's reclaiming herself after being a mom for so long. She's not having more kids and she wants her old self back. I sat there and rolled my eyes so hard I think everyone on the elevator probably heard me. I have a alter ego so to say. But I don't advertise it to anyone and everyone who will listen. I like to have fun and be myself. But at work, that is not me. I get my work done and go home at the end of the day. I don't talk about most things I do outside of work. Yes I talk about my kids and what we do on the weekends, but why bring up the other things? If I talked about the things I really like, I think I'd scare people off. And I'm not talking about scrapbooking and martinis. I don't have contests with my friends who can go out the most in a week. I'm not trying to reclaim myself because I did not totally lose myself. I just had to wait. She never went away.
So, I will hide in my jeans and t-shirts. I don't mind keeping my true self hidden. Sometimes.

Hammie the disappearing hamster

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer A.) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 01:19:00 +0000

Gee, what would a week be without a Hammie story. Except this one is a little different.

We can't find her.

It all started Saturday night. She got her self stuck in the ball (being used as her nest) again. She takes the cage material up to her nest to make it cosy and safe. It gets stuck in her tube and then she cannot get to her food and water. So I took her out and let her run in her other ball while we cleaned out the tubing and her nest ball. Can we just say EWWWW!!!

Ok, so James was doing laundry, Jimmy was playing on the computer and Hammie was running amuck in our dining room. Then I saw she peed in her ball, so back in her cage she went and we rinsed out the ball.

Somewhere in the night, James heard noises from Bri's room, but thought nothing about it. Sunday morning, James walked by her cage and saw the door was closed so all seemed good. After he left, I dragged my carcass down the hall to take a shower. I looked in Bri's room for Hammie and did not see her in her cage. Her ball was off center, and she was out. Again.

So, when James got back from church, I asked him to look in the furnace for her. Not only was she NOT in the furnace, James found this:

She CHEWED through the filter. She did not wait for us to find her and dust her off, like usual. We have no clue if she ingested any metal from the filter. So we began the search for her. We called her, put out food and moved stuff around.

As of now, the theories are:

1) She is running around somewhere in the house

2) She has passed away somewhere in the house

3) She escaped somehow fom the house

4) She ran out while we were getting ready to go to the Induction Ceremony on Sunday

We have two traps set out for her and she has not eaten from either of them. So, we'll keep looking and hope she turns up soon.

Sometimes, love cannot conquer all

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer A.) — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 02:19:00 +0000

So, remember that thing that I have been hinting at that I could not talk about?

Yeah, well, I can talk about it now.

My in-laws are getting a divorce. It will be final next month.

Now, this doesn't sound strange as 50% of people who get married will get divorced. Eema was divorced from her 1st husband when she met Peepa. But, her first marriage was pure and udder hell, so its totally understandable that some marriages just don't work.

We all had hope for Eema and Peepa as they married after one month of dating and had been together 32 (33?) years when the bottom fell out. They had survived miscarriages, job problems, health issues and raising a disabled child.

I guess it had to give at some point.

The thing is, they are totally opposite personalities. We're taking extremes here. Where Peepa is private and introverted, Eema is outgoing and extroverted. My father in law got mad one time that I saw him in boxer shorts by accident at their house. My mother in law cleaned out her underwear drawer in front of me once and gave me a running commentary. But they gave people hope when they told their story and the fact they were married for so many years.

Peepa decided it was over and that was that. He would not budge from his decision. Where Eema would have gone to counseling and worked on things, he called it quits and called a lawyer. He became even more introverted and cannot focus on anyone but himself and his misery. Trying to have any sort of conversation with him is one sided and painful.

But that is ending and now my kids have lost a grandpa, even though he's still physically here. He would rather go across the country to see his neice once a year, than spend time with his four grandkids nearby. He would rather hang out with work friends than call his son. Peepa would rather help his boss lay paver bricks than spend time with his disabled son.

Eema, meanwhile, is still helping her older daughter get things accomplished. She helps take care of her older son's and his girlfriend's baby while they work. She takes Bri and Jimmy overnight and asks them how school is and what they want to do. She takes her younger son places as she can. She has moved on and seems to be moving forward somehow.

So, James and I have been trying to work on our relationship to keep it together. We realized we were way too reliant on autopilot to get through the days. We fought way too much, and way too angry. We held too much against the other for sins committed in the past. However, our personalities are way more similar than Eema and Peepa. But that does not guarantee relationship success. It takes work and time and forgiveness.

Sometimes you have to let go and move on.

We're trying not to be the 50% that fail.

I'll keep you posted on how it goes.

Tired, so tired. And its only September

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer A.) — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 02:33:00 +0000

No I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. I've been busy. So what has been going on?

Bri: We've learned the past week that 2nd grade is boring. And hard. It has SO MUCH HOMEWORK(for full disclosure, she has one worksheet a night Monday thru Thursday, no homework for the weekends. The night she had two, she flipped out). She wants to go back to first grade, but James and I, being mean and evil, won't let her.
Also, they are doing road work in front of her school and its turned into a circus to pick her up since its one lane now and there are cops directing traffic. Why they couldn't get this done during the summer is beyond me.

Jimmy: Is having a good year, minus he doesn't want to tell me what he does at school since he's tired when he gets home. Also, he's been kicking my butt at Chutes and Ladders. I won my first game the other day, out of the hundreds he and I have played, and he threw a fit and now will not play with me.

James and I: are still trying to work on our relationship. Which has been intersting. Took the kids to Kiddieland last weekend. That is another post for another day.

I: am tired from getting up at 5 am to go to work so I can leave early enough to get the kids from school. Usually take a nap around 3:30 every afternoon.

And now I'm going to sleep as I only have one kid tonight and get to sleep in until 7 tomorrow morning. Whoo-hoo.

Odd woman out

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer A.) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 02:38:00 +0000

So we finally signed up for Pioneers. Pioneers is the younger level of Adventure Guides for three to five year old boys and girls. I had hoped we could wait until kindergarten to join, but Jimmy kept going; I want to go, I want to do what Bri is doing. Add a lot of whining and bugging and here we are.
So we went to the first meeting last week. The group is nice and a lot of kids. One father has triplets! He's going to have his hands full.
There is one tiny little problem. I am the only mom in the group, so far. There is another mom on the list, but I am not sure if she is still in the group. She did not come to the meeting.
So this makes a slight logistical nightmare. I don't feel comfortable going to camp outs. Meetings and outings are not a problem. Having to share one cabin with guys could cause controversy, even thought NOTHING WOULD OR COULD HAPPEN.
Also, Jimmy has some major sleep issues, such as he won't stay in his bed or go to sleep at a reasonable hour. So, I can only imagine the nightmare that trying to have him sleep in a bunk bed with me, and all the dirty looks from the dads whose kids are still up. Yeah, that will not work. When we get to Guides, we will be in a mother/son group, so this will not be an issue.
Also, since the kids are small and the company that makes our vests do not make them small enough, we decided not to get vests for the kids and parents. This makes one less expense in my life. We will get vests when we get to Guides next year.
Also, I made it through the Service Unit Campout with Brianna and her Brownie troop. It wasn't too bad, minus all the hiking. We did two hikes and walked a lot beyond that. However, all the rules were getting to me, along with the assumption we have no common sense. We had six moms, all college educated and most working in professional careers. They gave the leader a packet of info when we checked in and no time to read it. We got to the camp at 6:45 and we were supposed to be at the campfire at 7:30. We had to unload a van of gear, unpack in the cabin, the girls wanted to set up their sleeping bags, we had to set up the kitchen and so on.
We went to something called Owl Calls after the campfire we were late for. They played tapes of owls trying to get them to come near us. One of the calls played was a owl and crow fighting (or this is what we were told), it sounded like an owl was being assaulted and I figured PETA was showing up at any second. Myself, the leader and another mom could not stop laughing. The annoying thing was, this went on for a while, different groups going for this event at the lookout and we could hear the tapes at our firescar. Nothing like s'mores and loud screaching owl tapes. The owls were smart and took off with the deer for the weekend. They packed up the fish at the last minute, but the frogs weren't smart enough and we repeatedly captured by screaming girls. Who then dropped the poor frogs when they peed on the girls. Nature has bladder control problems.
The people in charge of this event told us things ahead of time and then added on to it at the last minute. They changed the packing list and added on to it three days before the event. Another example, they told the leader we needed to bring a lifeguard for swimming. So we did. Then we got to the pool for our time and there were two lifeguards provided. Ugh.
Also, this camp has no outhouses or kitchen setups for the tent sites, so the troop that tent camped near us asked if they could use our cabin bathrooms, which was no issue. Otherwise, its a hike to the main bathrooms. Things like that kinda bug me.
At least our next campout will be our troop only and run by our leaders. So we won't have any unnecessary rules added on. At the last minute.

Living in Literature

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer A.) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 03:07:00 +0000

Jimmy came home from school today and announced he was sneezing because he has The Cold. Not a cold, The Cold. So 20th Century. He couldn't wait for his dad to get home and announce he has The Cold. Meanwhile, Bri kept arguing with him, no he didn't have a cold he had allergies and to be quiet about it already.

The difference between them talking is like Pride and Prejudice to Junie B Jones books.

Jimmy will say things like Oh Father and Oh Mother. And then say, Mother/Father may I please have more? when asking for something.

Bri meanwhile calls us mom and dad, mommy and daddy when she was younger. She will say, Can I have this? Or, I want that.

We never were that formal or casual with them. We require they say please and thank you, call us mom/dad or mommy/daddy. Bri knows our first names and is only allowed to say them to an emergency worker in an emergency. We only want them to ask nicely for things they wanted, not formally. Give me doesn't carry any weight in this house.

We never read them Shakespear or Falkner when I was pregnant. Ok, at least out loud to them. We stuck to things like Goodnight Moon and Dr. Seuss for outloud reading. I could have read some of the conspiracy theory books I was reading to them outloud. No, who knows what they would be like now.

So where Jimmy got this from, we have no clue. My parents don't require more than pleases and thank yous when asking for something. They want to be referred to as Grandma and Grandpa, not Joe and Donna. Same for James' parents.

So, maybe this will go away as he gets to normal classes in school. Maybe he'll be the eccentic one in the class. Who knows?

The strangest note of the year

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer A.) — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 15:24:00 +0000

Thursday, Jimmy came home from school and I looked at the clothes he was wearing. He was in the backup outfit I sent to school the first day. So, as usual I asked him to empty his backpack and put his bus harness in his bag so we can keep track of it.
He pulled out his daily sheet, his reuseable juice box and a plastic bag. I read through the songs they did, the story they read, the in-class activities they did and there was a handwritten note on the back. That is highly unusual. We only get informed when he does something outside the ordinary, like when he decided to leave the classroom by himself without telling anyone and walk down the hall to the bathroom, or had a really, really BAD day. The handwritten note said basically Jimmy had slipped in the bathroom where someone had gotten sick and they had to change his clothes. Per Jimmy, he had jumped over it the first time to go potty, but the second time, he didn't jump over the puddle and fell down. And then the teacher had to change him.
Based on the smell coming out of the plastic bag, someone vomited and no one bothered to call the custodian to clean it up.
So I washed the clothes and moved on. Now I just have to remember to send a new change back or he may end up in the school's mismatched castoffs if this happens again.

No further words

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer A.) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 11:00:00 +0000

If you noticed I took the last post down. What I meant to be something humorous and a story about myself has been used against me. My words thrown at me like snowballs filled with rocks. Things interpreted from words I did and did not write. Words continually hurled like throwing knives at my soul. Leaving me feeling hurt and heartbroken.
Someone took my words and gave them a new context I never intended. What I thought was clear in the post wasn't and now I have to stand on trial for my writing.

Not a place I like to be in.

I started my blog to write about my life. A lot of that writing is about my kids. Once in a while I talk about myself. Usually, the words never come back to hurt me because they were not written with hurt or malice in my heart. They were written so people can understand who I am and why I got here. My life has been strange at times and sometimes I have to explain that to let people understand where I'm coming from. I go through a lot day to day and look to writing to give me a place to vent and seek those who understand what I'm going through. So sometimes I don't feel like the only one.
However, the most annoying thing to a writer is when your words are taken out of their context and you have to defend yourself against someone that chooses to use your words for her/his own meaning. You cannot defend yourself as interpretation is in the eye of the reader. You can try, but you will almost always lose.
A topic I thought was ok, obviously was not and now I face the consequences for trying to tell a funny story with a obvious ending. One that I thought the outcome was apparent to.

So, I had to make a choice. I no longer can write about anything but what this blog was started for. My kids and specifically my son and his SPD. I cannot deviate from that topic anymore. I cannot write about certain people and circumstances anymore. I have to censor myself and keep my words silent. I have to now tell stories that have limited casts. When I want to scream from the rooftop and seek compassion, I can no longer do so. For those words will be thrown back at me, by someone eventually because they were given another interpretation. Post modernism can suck it right now.

So, I'm sorry this is where things have ended up, since its been thrown in my face ITS ALL MY FAULT for even WRITING THE POST. I honestly don't know how this is going to go or will be something I can even accomplish.

Hiding from my kids

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer A.) — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 23:01:00 +0000

So I'm sitting at Panera typing this post. I have had enough today of the kids fighting, screaming yelling and imitating opera singers. So I am hiding from them.

Bri threw a fit at the fishing derby today for Adventure Guides because she didn't catch any fish. Jimmy threw a fit because he didn't get a cupcake from the Nation Chief's birthday. And they were all blue frosted, so I'm glad it worked out that way.

Bri was giving attitude at Target while trying to get new uniforms for school. Then the kids decided to torture each other for fun in the car while James ran into Home Depot to look for the elusive vent filter for the stove hood. I ended up taking away a pair of Crocs, one fishing net and a fish bobber from Jimmy's fishing pole.
The show store was so much fun, with Bri wanting skater shoes like Uncle J and Aunt Amanda wear, Then when we were checking out, Jimmy announces loudly he has to pee. The kind and helpful sales associate told us there was one in back. Since James was paying for their new school shoes, guess who got to take BOTH kids to the back? Me of course.

Why is it kids ALWAYS have to use a public restroom at least once while we're out? This happens every time I take the kids out. I could start a blog just comparing store and restaurant bathrooms.

Then we went home and gave them the (I thought it was) simple task of putting away a basket of their stuff from the living room in their own room. Yeah, you would have thought I told them to build a full scale model of the Sears Tower out of toothpicks and no glue. The whining and complaining was getting on my nerves. Then Bri went into Jimmy's room to help him put his stuff somewhere besides his bed. Only she decided to lock herself in his room, causing more blood curdling screaming from him.

So, we were going to divide and conquer since I had to return shoes to Target and a vent filter to Menards. Bri was having NONE of that since I refused to go to the train restaurant that I don't like. She ran off and told Jimmy to tell us she moved to France, then China, then Africa. Then they both decided they were going to the moon. Fine by me. Have fun and be back in time for school on Monday.

So James decided they will order pizza for dinner, give them showers and send them to bed. He has had enough of the behavior also. I can't blame him. I've had a headache all day because of them.

Things I never thought I'd have to explain to a 4 year old.

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer A.) — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 02:34:00 +0000

Vi*gra.
Yes, I've just had to explain Vi*gra to a 4 year old.

Let me explain. Last night James had a chief's meeting for Princesses. So I had Jimmy all by myself since Bri went to Eema's for the next few days (we're working this schedule thing out still). My theory is keep the kids calm and occupied while hubby is gone.
So, after packing his backpack, getting his snack ready, explaining that he goes to school in the AFTERNOON now, explaining that he does NOT go to school at 7 at night and playing for a while, we watched TV. After the umpteenth Finneas and Ferb episode, I changed the channel. We were NOT watching Suite Life at ALL. I don't remember what I was watching, but a Vi*gra ad came on. Of late, he's been paying more attention to commercials.
Jimmy goes to me, Is that for boring people?
I said, no its for older people and you don't need it.
Jimmy says, its for boring people. It looks like its for boring people.
Then he says, can we go to that beach someday?

Yes, so my kid is already asking about impotence drugs.

What comes out of his mouth when I'm NOT around? What's going to come out of his mouth when he's 6?

God help us all.

I cry every time

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer A.) — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 00:45:00 +0000

Its that fun time of the year. Back to school time. Jimmy starts tomorrow and Bri starts on Monday. We're getting them ready to go back and so are some of my co-workers kids. Molly* and I were having a discussion on this today. She said she did not cry when her other two boys started school, but she thinks she will when her youngest starts school this year. I've cried each year when the kids started school. I'm sure this will get better as they get older. I won't turn into a blubbery mess.
She has never taken a first day of school pic of her kids, but will take pics for her youngest. I take pics every year (ok I kinda slacked off on Jimmy's first day last year.)
Molly said she was shoving the two oldest out the door to school and now she doesn't want the youngest to grow up. I'm sad my kids are growing up, even though they need to.
I'm leaving them in the trusted hands of James, Eema and my parents to get them both off to school. Molly is taking two days off because her youngest is starting school.
I don't play favorites with my kids. Both are my favorites and if I had another, they would also be one of my favorites. So I treat them the same on the first day of school. And that will never change.
*name changed. I'm not sure why.

I'm tired of my yard being a cat shelter

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer A.) — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 02:30:00 +0000

We have a cat problem in my neighborhood.

Last year, it was four cats: a black and white, a gray, a black and a black and white kitten (who I only saw once). We kept finding poop around the yard and if the grass got too long, they would hide in it.
We think the black and white adult and gray ones belong to someone in the neighborhood who lets them out in the morning and lets them back in at night. No collar, no tags. I've seen her do it in the past, but really don't know her to confront her.
In our town, we have to go to the police and file a nuisance animal report. They give us a trap for 10 days. Then WE have to take the animal to a shelter that will accept them. Currently, its about a 1/2 hour away the county shelter that will accept strays. You can see why I did nothing about it last year. Nothing like having an angry cat in my car for the drive. I did not get the scotchguarding on this car.
Or I have to pay someone to trap the cats. Not that I really have the money for that.

So fast forward to this year. We have the black and white and gray cats around. Again. I've only seen the black and white one sitting under my cars and front shrub. James has seen the gray one. And still using my yard as a litter box.
So, tonight I hacked off the side of the bush by my front door. It had grown into the railing and I'm sick of how it looks.
Yeah it SMELLS like a litter box under the bush. Used by multiple cats. So, I sprinkled more red pepper flakes under the shrub, like I did around the yard Saturday when we came home and the black and white cat was lounging on our porch. Yeah, I'm not amused. Its getting really old.
So, I'm hoping the cats will get the message that he/she is NOT WELCOMED around here. And I know you're thinking I'm mean and evil. I do love animals, but people need to take care of their pets. Its again town ordinance to let them roam without a leash. And why should I have to clean up after them if their owner won't? Or heaven forbid, one of them has a litter in my yard.
Then I'm stuck dealing with them.

I took the plunge

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer A.) — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 03:05:00 +0000

I'm seriously trying to cheer myself up here. We got some BAD news in the mail today and we're hoping its really, really wrong. If not, our tight finances are going to get tighter for a long while.

I saw the neuro again on Thursday and we're back to NO CAFFEINE FOR LIFE again. She thinks it will help the headaches. I think I'm going to do a lot of sleeping standing up. Sprite just sucks. And I had to give up drinking also.

The leg wound is looking better but the dermo had to put shots IN THE WOUND. It was concentrated medicine that is in the ointment I use. I go back in 3 weeks for more. Its healing well, but the skin will be discolored for months. Nothing we can do about that.

So, I took the plunge and bought the Cricut. I should get it from the Home Shopping Network on Thursday. I am selling the Slice. I got the noise down, but I am not happy with it. I do a lot of dyecuts at a time and it overheats rather quickly.
So I did end up getting the Expression which can cut up to 23". James thought I would be dissapointed if I got the smaller one. Which I could have had cheap weeks ago.
So maybe this will motivate me to get back into scrapbooking. I have so many photos that need to get into albums. Bri is getting more done in her album than I am.

He's so stinking cute I won't sell him on eBay for now

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer A.) — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 03:30:00 +0000

Jimmy loves to sing. He was able to sing before he could talk in complete phases or even words. Every speech therapist he's had encourages this because its a good sign. I had fears we would have a Discovery Health special, but if it gets me a new kitchen, I'm all for it.
So, we're always listening to Radio Disney or cd's in the van after this incident, so Jimmy hears these songs a lot. Sunday, we were going shopping and the Ting Ting's Not My Name came on. If you have listened to any top 40 type station you have heard it. And its stuck in your head.

So, the chorus of this song goes:
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my.........name

Jimmy changed it to:
James is my name
James is my name
James is my..........name

These are the times I wish I had a Flip camera. It was so cute and creative. He sings it every time the song comes on.

Now if he would stop antagonizing his sister for fun and sit still during a meal, it would be good.

Camp: This is not the good old days

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer A.) — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 04:10:00 +0000

So, Bri survived her first week at away camp. We picked her up on Friday night. And after feeding her a good meal and hosing off the dirt in the back yard with a Lysol rinse, we have recovered. I think we finished the laundry from camp and need to teach her how to repack a suitcase. But, as someone who did go away to camp, things are WAY different than when I went. Let's cover the highlights:

THEN: Put kids on a bus to go 7 hours to Northern Wisconsin. At 7 am
NOW: Drive kids 1 1/2 hours AT THE MOST. At 1pm

THEN: Check in at bus stop
NOW: Check in at actual camp.

THEN: Give meds to nurse at health check in
NOW: Parents give nurse and go over directions at check in.

THEN: One kid in the unit usually had the bag of meds at check in, everyone else had nothing
NOW: One mom will not get in line with a bag of meds for their kid, while you're waiting in line.

THEN: Cell phone reception? We didn't HAVE cell phones, let alone reception.
NOW: Turn in cell phones at check in for use during rest time every day.

THEN: Get a couple letters from home during 2 1/2 weeks away.
NOW: Drop off care packages for each of the 5 days the kid is gone. At check in. (note, I did not do this. We sent her one letter.)

THEN: Carry your own luggage to the unit
NOW: Wait for the wagon to bring your luggage and have mom and dad carry it to the tent.

THEN: Platform tents and mosquito nets held up with 4 sticks found in the woods tied to the bed with twine or the smart girls brought duct tape
NOW: Tabins. The platform tents either are screened in or come with mosquito neting.

THEN: Cots
NOW: Bunk beds with storage

THEN: Drinking fountains around camp, or waiting until meals to get a drink. No worrying about dehydration.
NOW: Cases of bottled water, even thought the list said water bottle or canteen.

THEN: Shirt for the camp you attended
NOW: one camp shirt for the entire %^*$^@ council. My daughter will have three of the same freaking shirt, if two of them EVER show up!

Ok, don't get used to this much posting from me.

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer A.) — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 02:11:00 +0000

So, a few other things happened while I was as the MommyBlogger Backlash Conference:

-I became an auntie (again) while at the People's Party. My new nephew, blog named TJ, was born at 9:20 pm Thursday to Uncle J and his girlfriend Aunt A. And I have not been to see him. I've seen a pic on a cell phone Thursday night really late. So maybe this weekend, we'll see.
But, Aunt A was told by her docs that she was having the baby on her due date no matter what. So, they induced her for really no good reason I can see. James called me while I was registering Jimmy for school. Auntie A had been given pitocin and broke her water. I said they are just setting her up for a c-section and BOY DID I CALL IT! She was not in any sort of labor, but the docs had this great idea she WOULD have the baby that day.

-Meanwhile, my other nephew (the 17 year old J) is at basic training for the Army. In Oklahoma. I got a pic of him carrying a HUGE gun of some sort while wearing fatigues. Yeah, I'm feeling old.

-My mom needs cataract surgery. The sooner the better. They tried for Thursday, she said no. Yeah, she's freaked out.

- Vaclav the leg wound is healing. Finally. And I'm still on the samples of the ointment. I think the prescription is in my purse.

And this week has just been the week of not dealing well with people. Its just hearing certain people's voices and running for the hills. And another person I know with Cancer. This sucks. Its someone I'm not a big fan of, but I don't wish these things on my worse enemies.