A decade ago I took a class in improvisation on a dare with some friends. I was surprised how much the class helped me experience daily life. It made me a better speaker and teacher too. – Scott Berkun, Author of a fantastic book on speaking, Confessions of a Public Speaker

Yes. This post is a tad self-indulgent. I mean, here I am pitching my workshop by way of this article I found AND, I do it because he’s said some of what I say in a clear, non-threatening way and I want people to get over their fears.

Recently I’ve had a couple of people tell me that they liked what they heard about the benefits of my workshops, but they were a little afraid of what they’d have to do in them.

They assume you’re thrown on a big dark stage where someone yells at you every few seconds to do something funny. The reality is tame…

Improvisors are generally the nicest people. We’ve spent years stewing in positivity and support. And while I can’t vouch for every Improv group or workshop, I promise that I’ll never make anyone feel “on the spot”, “twisting in the wind” or stuck in any way.

Fun & Fearless workshops are about more than just Improv for Improv’s sake. It’s personal  development focusing on communication, boldness, and using your brain in new ways.

As if he has heard me talking to people about Improv, Scott clarifies some of the most important benefits:

Every conversation in life is an act of improvisation: no one gives you a script for the day when you wake up. Improv helps me pay attention, proper attention, to all the situations I didn’t realize I could influence, or that were available to me if only I noticed them.  Or more precisely, going to improv class makes me comfortable in dealing with whatever happens in many situations with other people.

I’d love for you to check it out because it let’s me fulfill on my life’s mission: To help people  communicate better and have more fun in their lives.

Here is the link to the full article: http://scottberkun.com/2013/what-i-learned-from-improv-class/

I promise to bring you something inspiring and/or educational next time.

Much love.

I showed this video to someone this week and was talking about how, when I was a younger and performing regularly, I wanted to do a 1-man show like this video featuring Reggie Watts. (The video is below, but please watch that last because I don’t want to lose you forever.)

What held me back was that I thought it was just a bit too weird. People wouldn’t sit through a stream of consciousness rant touching 9 different subjects per minute, meshing deep profundity and complete gibberish.

Ask anyone from one of my Improv groups and they’ll tell you that I’m not much of a singer. I actually have a nice-enough sounding voice, just no sense of rhythm  I never know when to come in. So I’m a great back-up guy and love adding little flair bits. Never the lead though.

But I could do this sort of signing, ranging styles, tones, and time signatures.

What’s the point? Am I “Oh, So Cool” that I really could/should have done this sort of thing?

No. Quite the opposite.

The lesson is simple. Ideas are cheap. Ideas happen by the millions everyday. Everyone has at least a couple Every Day that could be turned into money; a song, a story, an invention, a character, etc.

What changes the world is implementation | action!

Sure, I could have done a performance like this. I was an improviser. I could make up stories songs, characters, scenes and jokes every night in front of dozens of paying customers, expecting to be entertained. I had no fear of failing in front of an audience. But did I do my one-man show? Nope!

It was fear and fear alone that kept me back from doing this or any other 1-man show.

But oddly, it didn’t FEEL like fear.

Your brain is a wicked trickster and it really only wants to keep you safe. When confronted, you will find a dozen conscious (and another dozen unconscious) reasons you shouldn’t do it OR other things that are more important Right Now.

You’re actually better off to FEEL afraid. At least then you’d have that trigger and you could think about it and make a choice to confront your fear.

But mostly it’s sneaky.

Here’s the trick: If you want to do/create/perform something and for some reason you don’t get it done, consider that you are simply afraid. It’s not always easy to do, but as long as you don’t get all judgemental about being afraid, then you can see that it’s fear and now  you have a choice.

After realizing that it’s just that same old fear thing, you can now actually get things done.

Now imagine Reggie Watts preparing for his TED talk. Do you think his brain might have mentioned that TED talks are usually erudite elucidations of psychology, technology, ecology and other big-thinking ideas? His brain might have said, “Really? You’re NOT going to start with English?!?!?”

Thanks, Reggie for facing that and then doing it your own way!

A radio show? Really? What do I know about radio?
Who cares?? Let’s get out there talking to people!

Starting this Thursday at 3 pm I’ll be on the air talking about business, communications, tools and strategies for simply being better, stronger, faster.

Should be fun!

Each week I’ll have a guest, someone that’s running a business. And they could be from any stage of business.

Perhaps a brave soul that started a few years ago and is now making millions OR someone that just got started a couple of months ago. I guarantee that we’ll dig into things that will help someone with a dream stop talking about it and get started!

It’s on the Talkwad Network that started a  bit over a year ago with ComedySLAM radio. Now that’s expanded into a few networks including Talk Empowerment Radio, All Of Your Business Radio, and RockSLAM Radio. And with a great new studio in Tampa, I couldn’t resist when they came calling. (Thanks to Nolan Raay for sticking to it and pulling me in!)

This is the website for the show: http://www.talkempowerment.com/#!straight-up-with-toby-martini/c1d8o

Or you can go to http://www.talkempowerment.com/ and click “Straight Up with Toby Martini”

I’ll be kicking this thing out every week until I take it national. If you’re running a business, contact me about being a guest.

Either way, give me a call and we’ll talk business and have some laughs too! (813) 235-0644

(And the best video on the internet)

I’ve never been a big fan of New Year’s resolutions and I have always just Hated planning, organizing, and strategizing. I mean, I’m an Improv guy, right? Live in the moment. Create… Now!

But, I have finally got it in my head: Planning is important. Knowing where you’re going and where you’re going to stop along the way is imperative. Otherwise  there’s just a lot of meandering and when there’s a great success, you won’t know how it happened nor how to make it happen again.

Yes. Be able to improvise. Awesome… AND being prepared makes things easier and probably better in both quality and quality of life (because the stress is less).

So, I’ve created a planning group and we put our year out on paper. Lots going on: workshops, keynotes, 1-day events, a big event at the end of the year, a new radio show, and back to blogging. Now to go make that happen!

Ze Frank returned to the internet last year and this was his opening salvo.
I find it insanely inspiring and correct. It hits on many of the little chatter bits that come up in our heads. And it’s still fun.

I watch it every time I start something new. And right now, I’m starting a LOT that’s new!

I better start making some videos, too!

Check out this article below. It reminds of this, possibly mis-paraphrased, quote:

Don’t worry what people are thinking about you. They’re Not.

If only we could all give up the “always looking good (or cool)” game, more would actually be accomplished in the world. Sadly, sometimes looking good keeps people from trying. It’s the root of Fear of Failure.

(This is excerpted from Scott Young’s “Critical 7 Rules To Understand People”)

Never blame malice for what can easily be explained by conceit.

People don’t care about you. This isn’t because people are mean or hurtful, but simply because they are mostly focused on themselves.

Consider this hypothetical pie-chart showing the variety of thoughts a typical person has:

In this example, 60% of thoughts are self-directed. My goals. My problems. My feelings. Another 30% are directed towards relationships, but how they affect me. What does Julie think of me? How will boss evaluate my performance in the next review? Do my friends like me or see me as irritating?

Only 10% in this model is time spent in empathy. Empathy is the rare event where one person actually feels the emotions, problems and perspective of another person. Instead of asking what Julie thinks of me, I ask what is Julie thinking.

Within that 10%, most people then divide attention between hundreds of other people they know. As a result, you would occupy a fraction of a percentage in most peoples minds, and only a couple percentage points in a deeply bonded relationship. Even if you are in another persons thoughts, it is how your relationship affects them, not you.

What does this mean?

Embarrassment doesn’t make a lot of sense. Since others are only focusing a small portion of there thoughts onto judging you, your self-judgement is overwhelmingly larger.

People who appear to be mean or hurtful don’t usually do it intentionally. There are exceptions to this, but generally the hurt you feel is a side-effect, not the principle cause.

Relationships are your job to maintain. Don’t wait to be invited to parties or for people to approach you.

When people attempt big changes in their life,  they often overlook the importance of their environment. By environment, I mean more than just the place you live. Your environment includes the people that are around you, too.

Friends and family tend to support your daily efforts and your ”reasonable” goals. But, often when you decide to really streatch out and start to make a dream happen for you, you’ll find some resistance.

Subtle (or not so subtle) suggestions and actions may start. Suddenly, the people that most love and support you are telling you things like, “That sounds great, but don’t quit your day job.” or “That sounds nice. But, it will have to wait until everything gets settled first.”  These peer pressures ask you to put off your dream or abandon them.

Why would those that love you ask you to forsake your dreams? It’s precisely because they do love you. The want you to be safe. Just like the little piece of your brain that is constantly trying to keep you safe and looking good, they don’t want you to be hurt.

I don’t recommend arguing with them. Arguing or stating rational facts won’t necessarily win the day. You’ll want to calm them. Make sure they know that you are not jumping off a cliff, nor are you abandoning them or your life. Once they know that you are prepared and that you have considered all of the angles, here is where you get to invite them into your game…

Create an inspiring vision of how it’s going to be when you succeed. Tell them how great it is going to be for you. Use vivid, colorful imagery and really create a world that they can see. Tell them how it will be for them in your future, too. Bring them into this future world of yours and make them feel at home.

Instead of dealing with subtle pressure to just stay the way you’ve been, you will now have cheering fans 0n the sidelines and hopefully much more direct assistance too.

Another benefit of this tactic is that by creating a vivid, inspiring future for them to see, you are constantly reinvigorated by it, too! If you can see what it is you’re working towards, it will help you more easily clear any obstacles that show up along the way.

So, go create something awesome for your life and bring your friends and family for the ride!

I know that people have been searching for this answer for years. And this topic has been the basis for hundreds of jokes by stand-up comics.

But, I have a valid solution and I hope that everyone will take this to heart and create happiness and peace in their relationships. I offer you the “magic bullet” to making relationships work! It’s pretty simple. Ready?

(Before you look below, you MUST realize that I mean this advice for BOTH sexes. Not just for men, as it is usually cast.)

Look at this diagram: If the seat is down, close the lid over it. If the seat is up, Put Them Both Down. Everyone. Every Time. Yes. You will have to open the toilet every time you need to go.


Results:

• No complaints about someone forgetting to put the seat down.
• Nobody is going to pee on the seat.
  Well, someone might, but they’re so drunk that you should be happy they’re not peeing in your fridge. (Which I have a true story about, but will not share more now.)
• Equality! Everyone will have to open the lid to go.

Just another problem I can help with!

And there was a sibling that had some interesting ideas, not sensational or wildly creative necessarily, but workable. The difference is that the sibling spoke about the ideas, wrote them down, and shared them with others. The ideas grew and people began to make them into reality.

And the world was changed.

Thinking about great things is wonderful, but essentially useless until they are spoken out into the world and action is taken.

So, don’t wait for the Perfect Idea. Don’t wait until everything is ready. Go out now and Create something. Others will help you improve it, build it, distribute it, whatever needs to be done.

Circumstances are NEVER perfect.

Start now; where you are, with what you have and create something for you, your family, and for the world!

There are thousands of examples of people that are disadvantaged in some way that turn it around and become a champion in the very field that they have a disadvantage in.

Barabara Walters, with a lisp, becoming one of the highest paid tv reporters. James Earl Jones, a whispering stutterer, becomes “The Voice.” (Darth Vader and hundreds of commercials have brought him relative fortune.)

So, what keeps everyone from becoming everything that they dream about? It’s the dichotomy in the brain, the split that somehow has You talking to You in betweeen your ears.

Sit quietly for 60 seconds and just listen to how that voice tells you things; how it describes the room to you; how it tells you that it’s dumb to sit quietly for 60 seconds; how it says “Why would you do anything this guy tells you to do? Who is he anyway? And why are you so easily led?”

Well, that right there is the reason that so many people do not achieve their dreams. The voice says, “You couldn’t…” “Who would listen…” “That person has an advantage and its unfair, so you can’t…”

Listen. it’s talking TO you. It is is you and it’s talking To You.

It’s whole purpose in life is to keep you safe. “Don’t touch that stove! Remember when you were five and you did that and you got that scar and it HURT!” So, yeah. Staying alive and relatively unscarred is good.

But…
Safe, to this voice, also includes “Don’t look bad.” And if you would be willing to look truthfully and insightfully at why you do so many of the things that you do, you would probably find that at the root of them all lies some version of “Don’t look bad.”

You don’t want people to laugh at you, belittle you, yell at you, be superior or be right more than you. All of those hurt a little; and sometimes hurt a lot, especially when you’re young.

So, the little voice constantly coaxes, whines, wheedles and pushes whatever buttons it needs to push for you to act right, be smart, be quiet, be aggressive, be withdrawn or whatever else you can do to keep from being hurt emotionally, mentally and physically.

The problem is that it has no sense of scope or of future rewards.

To it, someone laughing at you because you answered a question wrong can be as bad being punched in the face. Something to be avoided at all costs. So, instead of taking a chance, you hold back. “Better to be thought the fool….” it quotes, reassuring you of your right-ness.

It doesn’t understand that getting out of bed today and going running is good for you in the long term. It’s says, “Run tomorrow. You were up so late.” “Skip one day. What’s it going to hurt?” It doesn’t quite understand that the slight discomfort now is worth the longer, healthier life.

It’s a different part of the brain that does those equations. This part just knows that the bed is warm and safe. “Running hurts and you could be more hurt, pull a muscle, get hit by a car!” Better to rest comfortably.

So, do me a favor. Go out today and do something you’ve wanted to do for a long time. Something you’ve been wanting to start, but have found just so many reasons why today is not the day.

Well, today is the day! Go now. Get prepared. Listen for the voice. Listen carefully. It’s there talking to you, telling you all of the things that it knows will work on you. And they would have worked yesterday, but now you’re listening and you can hear it for what it is.

It’s the simple, primitive monkey brain that only wants the best for you… in the short term.

Listen to it. Hear what it has to say. (Telling it to shut up Will Not Work)

Then go out and scare and amaze yourself at your power!

You really can do anything. People do astounding things every day and they are really no better than you. They just did it!

Love you!