<?xml version='1.0' encoding='UTF-8'?><?xml-stylesheet href="http://www.blogger.com/styles/atom.css" type="text/css"?><feed xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom' xmlns:openSearch='http://a9.com/-/spec/opensearchrss/1.0/' xmlns:blogger='http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008' xmlns:georss='http://www.georss.org/georss' xmlns:gd="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005" xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8817645039911674884</id><updated>2024-10-06T22:41:50.665-07:00</updated><category term="clean joke"/><category term="30 Advantage of Being Women"/><category term="50 Ways to Seduce a Man"/><category term="A Zombie Singer"/><category term="A kindergarten pupil"/><category term="Angry Bird"/><category term="Banana Guy Catches On Fire"/><category term="Beware of Girls"/><category term="Boys"/><category term="Brave Uncle"/><category term="Business Jokes"/><category term="Business Meeting"/><category term="Car Commercials"/><category term="Casino Joke"/><category term="Cheating Wife"/><category term="Chris Rock"/><category term="Christmas Joke"/><category term="Cinema Joke"/><category term="Clean Jokes"/><category term="Clever Teacher"/><category term="Condom Motto"/><category term="Coroner Report"/><category term="Dont Buy This To A Women For Christmas"/><category term="Drunken Pumpkin"/><category term="Engineering Student"/><category term="FREAKIEST Chick"/><category term="Filipino joke"/><category term="Fun in Mall"/><category term="Funniest Ads"/><category term="Funniest Toyota Ads"/><category term="Funniest Vr"/><category term="Funny  Google  Earth"/><category term="Funny Animal"/><category term="Funny Facebook Status"/><category term="Funny Sign"/><category term="Gender Joke"/><category term="George Bush"/><category term="Girls"/><category term="Hilarious"/><category term="Husbands for Sale"/><category term="Internet Pornography"/><category term="Junk"/><category term="Just Knitting"/><category term="Label Instructions"/><category term="Last Dinosaurs"/><category term="Lawyer Joke"/><category term="Mall Pranks"/><category term="Medical Problem"/><category term="Mercedes Benz"/><category term="Mother Day  Joke"/><category term="Naughty joke"/><category term="No Dog Allowed Here"/><category term="Penis"/><category term="Pikachu"/><category term="Real Funny Story"/><category term="Sexy babe in Beach"/><category term="Sighting"/><category term="Stupid Video"/><category term="Take My Shirt"/><category term="The Most Stupid Man On Earth"/><category term="Three Blondes"/><category term="UFO Jokes"/><category term="Vagina"/><category term="Weight Loss Plan"/><category term="What Facebook Is For"/><category term="Wired Purse"/><category term="Zoo Job"/><category term="animal joke"/><category term="blonde joke"/><category term="blonde jokesSee"/><category term="boobs"/><category term="boobs jokes"/><category term="breast jokes"/><category term="briefcase"/><category term="chicken cross the road"/><category term="commercial ad"/><category term="condoms"/><category term="dino jokes"/><category term="dirty mind"/><category term="dorm jokes"/><category term="ecstatic"/><category term="email account"/><category term="email jokes"/><category term="facebook jokes"/><category term="football"/><category term="funniest commercial EVER"/><category term="funny jokes for adults"/><category term="funny love"/><category term="funny news articles"/><category term="funny picture"/><category term="funny real story"/><category term="general joke"/><category term="ghost story"/><category term="grave"/><category term="heaven gate"/><category term="how to make your boobs grow faster"/><category term="jewelry"/><category term="jokes"/><category term="jokes collection"/><category term="jokes for kids"/><category term="kids jokes"/><category term="love joke"/><category term="pharmacist"/><category term="premature"/><category term="premature problem joke"/><category term="sex robot"/><category term="shower jokes"/><category term="sign your email get hack"/><category term="soccer"/><category term="story jokes clean"/><category term="student joke"/><category term="teacher;s jokes"/><category term="the world joke"/><category term="three doors"/><category term="tiger jokes"/><category term="virtual reality"/><category term="worst christmas cards"/><title type='text'>Today Funny Jokes, Videos and Stories</title><subtitle type='html'>You never sad again. Laugh is the best medicine</subtitle><link rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#feed' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default?redirect=false'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/'/><link rel='hub' href='http://pubsubhubbub.appspot.com/'/><link rel='next' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default?start-index=26&amp;max-results=25&amp;redirect=false'/><author><name>Unknown</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><generator version='7.00' uri='http://www.blogger.com'>Blogger</generator><openSearch:totalResults>85</openSearch:totalResults><openSearch:startIndex>1</openSearch:startIndex><openSearch:itemsPerPage>25</openSearch:itemsPerPage><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8817645039911674884.post-668266593244517149</id><published>2019-02-23T10:04:00.004-08:00</published><updated>2019-02-23T10:04:38.758-08:00</updated><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="jokes"/><title type='text'>Jokes that will make you laugh so hard</title><content type='html'>&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;
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&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0oWIQQ1xckcKKaIXahUKit3O975Vw2B6bbh2Qm58lpggE8cgfxPCHIDoSr4QNUWXJStxpKuxyQzFcdXgwc6EK_tXT1oarg5ofHOLswyE0v-ET4P4sDR8SyP8B165Zpu0wr1V56o3jHVZY/s1600/Laughter.jpg&quot; imageanchor=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;525&quot; data-original-width=&quot;700&quot; height=&quot;300&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0oWIQQ1xckcKKaIXahUKit3O975Vw2B6bbh2Qm58lpggE8cgfxPCHIDoSr4QNUWXJStxpKuxyQzFcdXgwc6EK_tXT1oarg5ofHOLswyE0v-ET4P4sDR8SyP8B165Zpu0wr1V56o3jHVZY/s400/Laughter.jpg&quot; width=&quot;400&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
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</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/feeds/668266593244517149/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/8817645039911674884/668266593244517149' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/668266593244517149'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/668266593244517149'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/2019/02/jokes-that-will-make-you-laugh-so-hard.html' title='Jokes that will make you laugh so hard'/><author><name>Unknown</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0oWIQQ1xckcKKaIXahUKit3O975Vw2B6bbh2Qm58lpggE8cgfxPCHIDoSr4QNUWXJStxpKuxyQzFcdXgwc6EK_tXT1oarg5ofHOLswyE0v-ET4P4sDR8SyP8B165Zpu0wr1V56o3jHVZY/s72-c/Laughter.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8817645039911674884.post-2998564271928349320</id><published>2018-12-13T09:37:00.005-08:00</published><updated>2018-12-13T09:37:34.494-08:00</updated><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Car Commercials"/><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Funniest Toyota Ads"/><title type='text'>Top 10 Funniest Toyota Car Commercials</title><content type='html'>&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;
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&lt;iframe allow=&quot;accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture&quot; allowfullscreen=&quot;&quot; frameborder=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;315&quot; src=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/embed/aINtX9mwnZk&quot; width=&quot;560&quot;&gt;&lt;/iframe&gt;
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Hey guys earn extra income by taking photo. Join for &lt;a href=&quot;https://bit.ly/2rIKqgJ&quot;&gt;FREE.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
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</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/feeds/2998564271928349320/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/8817645039911674884/2998564271928349320' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/2998564271928349320'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/2998564271928349320'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/2018/12/top-10-funniest-toyota-car-commercials.html' title='Top 10 Funniest Toyota Car Commercials'/><author><name>Unknown</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYZqJGHzdu6DhwfrGWrrCS4YmzHCCaAACBL8mckPB7l7Yc9HCH4EpY9n3Yn-ShqNsdchswcNZ5CKweGzptsi3k_Yqn3f9kQ3op1k1MpuI8fla7XtnSGlhkpam48SgE_IOHLvqcK5NwDPsr/s72-c/toyota.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8817645039911674884.post-8563707209612357117</id><published>2018-11-15T10:15:00.001-08:00</published><updated>2018-11-15T10:15:20.140-08:00</updated><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Funniest Vr"/><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="virtual reality"/><title type='text'>Funniest VR Fails </title><content type='html'>&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;
&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmjbtwQ8LwrCY20m6qhFqR0YHlQ11h0TimQPIr5Gw21BRsXrTd_QSY9SsrNOHXzqf_fHbfGo7ISs-FrsIC3KVxmklbcNKWKTjI6DARVDqtA7FOouu5Y3hyphenhyphenhCCDYLvHdcnt0wr2szsKos2W/s1600/vr2.jpg&quot; imageanchor=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;651&quot; data-original-width=&quot;1024&quot; height=&quot;253&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmjbtwQ8LwrCY20m6qhFqR0YHlQ11h0TimQPIr5Gw21BRsXrTd_QSY9SsrNOHXzqf_fHbfGo7ISs-FrsIC3KVxmklbcNKWKTjI6DARVDqtA7FOouu5Y3hyphenhyphenhCCDYLvHdcnt0wr2szsKos2W/s400/vr2.jpg&quot; width=&quot;400&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
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Vr = Virtual Reality&lt;/div&gt;
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&lt;iframe allow=&quot;accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture&quot; allowfullscreen=&quot;&quot; frameborder=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;315&quot; src=&quot;https://www.youtube.com/embed/ES_07yKIIsQ&quot; width=&quot;560&quot;&gt;&lt;/iframe&gt;
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</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/feeds/8563707209612357117/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/8817645039911674884/8563707209612357117' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/8563707209612357117'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/8563707209612357117'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/2018/11/funniest-vr-fails.html' title='Funniest VR Fails '/><author><name>Unknown</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmjbtwQ8LwrCY20m6qhFqR0YHlQ11h0TimQPIr5Gw21BRsXrTd_QSY9SsrNOHXzqf_fHbfGo7ISs-FrsIC3KVxmklbcNKWKTjI6DARVDqtA7FOouu5Y3hyphenhyphenhCCDYLvHdcnt0wr2szsKos2W/s72-c/vr2.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8817645039911674884.post-5658324589990163877</id><published>2018-03-18T12:13:00.001-07:00</published><updated>2018-03-18T12:13:48.192-07:00</updated><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="sex robot"/><title type='text'>Free Robot Sex</title><content type='html'>&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;
&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXzqhuDobsp0QHEfGhRDMetRg96s5ld9irhH-BzKAHu8q_HMlIcrI1VlY7rfrhthc7bQiranyFAOGKW17oqwgCHb91XhqKGNN7699r2CbDLoyoh8pXFwIuKIyTpooO79bLFz2dx_NS7LPy/s1600/robot-sex_o_722115.jpg&quot; imageanchor=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; data-original-height=&quot;699&quot; data-original-width=&quot;734&quot; height=&quot;304&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXzqhuDobsp0QHEfGhRDMetRg96s5ld9irhH-BzKAHu8q_HMlIcrI1VlY7rfrhthc7bQiranyFAOGKW17oqwgCHb91XhqKGNN7699r2CbDLoyoh8pXFwIuKIyTpooO79bLFz2dx_NS7LPy/s320/robot-sex_o_722115.jpg&quot; width=&quot;320&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;background-color: #f6f6f6; color: #242424;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: &amp;quot;georgia&amp;quot; , &amp;quot;times new roman&amp;quot; , serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;background-color: #f6f6f6; color: #242424;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: &amp;quot;georgia&amp;quot; , &amp;quot;times new roman&amp;quot; , serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;background-color: #f6f6f6; color: #242424;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: &amp;quot;georgia&amp;quot; , &amp;quot;times new roman&amp;quot; , serif;&quot;&gt;I am feeling a little off today. How about turning me on? The switch is on the back of my neck. &lt;a href=&quot;http://jokes.cc/&quot;&gt;Jokes.cc&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;background-color: #f6f6f6; color: #242424;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: &amp;quot;georgia&amp;quot; , &amp;quot;times new roman&amp;quot; , serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;background-color: #f6f6f6; color: #242424;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: &amp;quot;georgia&amp;quot; , &amp;quot;times new roman&amp;quot; , serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/feeds/5658324589990163877/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/8817645039911674884/5658324589990163877' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/5658324589990163877'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/5658324589990163877'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/2018/03/free-robot-sex.html' title='Free Robot Sex'/><author><name>Unknown</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXzqhuDobsp0QHEfGhRDMetRg96s5ld9irhH-BzKAHu8q_HMlIcrI1VlY7rfrhthc7bQiranyFAOGKW17oqwgCHb91XhqKGNN7699r2CbDLoyoh8pXFwIuKIyTpooO79bLFz2dx_NS7LPy/s72-c/robot-sex_o_722115.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8817645039911674884.post-1231349316478381722</id><published>2016-06-15T11:56:00.001-07:00</published><updated>2016-06-15T11:56:11.403-07:00</updated><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="tiger jokes"/><title type='text'>Tiger Jokes - Night of Drinking </title><content type='html'>&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;
&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhafjR60lauJyJRSIzUL2mvlN70UJGpJCDJVPXw9Yk-OAjXCXKAkbMgv1BqzzGp5YdVXT3c34X1MScu9_NGPplw2pyw9vxICKY0e2zhOJaeaVwRQXTRBilQpoM0cxmENg7a9YTdEEVMRtOi/s1600/tiger2.jpg&quot; imageanchor=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;400&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhafjR60lauJyJRSIzUL2mvlN70UJGpJCDJVPXw9Yk-OAjXCXKAkbMgv1BqzzGp5YdVXT3c34X1MScu9_NGPplw2pyw9vxICKY0e2zhOJaeaVwRQXTRBilQpoM0cxmENg7a9YTdEEVMRtOi/s400/tiger2.jpg&quot; width=&quot;358&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
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&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;Night of Drinking
A man and his pet tiger walk into a bar. It&#39;s about 5pm, but they&#39;re 
ready for a good night of drinking.
They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As 
the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one 
after the other.
Finally, the bartender says: &quot;Last call.&quot;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;So, the man says, &quot;One more for me... and one more for my tiger.&quot;
The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the tiger
 falls over dead.
The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to 
leave.
The bartender, yells: &quot;Hey buddy, you can&#39;t just leave that lyin&#39; 
there.&quot;
To which the man replies: &quot;That&#39;s not a lion, that&#39;s a tiger.&quot;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;u&gt;S&lt;/u&gt;ource:&amp;nbsp; &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.jokes4us.com/animaljokes/tigerjokes.html&quot;&gt;http://www.jokes4us.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;
</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/feeds/1231349316478381722/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/8817645039911674884/1231349316478381722' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/1231349316478381722'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/1231349316478381722'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/2016/06/tiger-jokes-night-of-drinking.html' title='Tiger Jokes - Night of Drinking '/><author><name>Unknown</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhafjR60lauJyJRSIzUL2mvlN70UJGpJCDJVPXw9Yk-OAjXCXKAkbMgv1BqzzGp5YdVXT3c34X1MScu9_NGPplw2pyw9vxICKY0e2zhOJaeaVwRQXTRBilQpoM0cxmENg7a9YTdEEVMRtOi/s72-c/tiger2.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8817645039911674884.post-5215084040348503837</id><published>2014-05-23T03:05:00.002-07:00</published><updated>2014-05-23T03:05:58.443-07:00</updated><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Clean Jokes"/><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Hilarious"/><title type='text'> Hilarious Clean Jokes</title><content type='html'>&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;
&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyagq7Pv57KbmkO9mIprxEZXs6QnATxjWBC8_BGnfnz2mu89v2L1keh0mE4EFU7ewtF_Z-AfSchwUOrInMrHCAzobujafSsUDHj4aply9uCzv4XYBmvcl1ZKSpvVaEA8Coye-tFOz07fzV/s1600/xxxx.jpg&quot; imageanchor=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyagq7Pv57KbmkO9mIprxEZXs6QnATxjWBC8_BGnfnz2mu89v2L1keh0mE4EFU7ewtF_Z-AfSchwUOrInMrHCAzobujafSsUDHj4aply9uCzv4XYBmvcl1ZKSpvVaEA8Coye-tFOz07fzV/s1600/xxxx.jpg&quot; height=&quot;320&quot; width=&quot;319&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #fefefe; border: none; font-family: Georgia, Times, &#39;Times New Roman&#39;, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;&quot;&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; margin-bottom: 25px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: start; vertical-align: baseline;&quot;&gt;
Why did the insomniac man get arrested?&lt;br /&gt;He resisted a rest.&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; margin-bottom: 25px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: start; vertical-align: baseline;&quot;&gt;
Did you hear about the circus fire?&lt;br /&gt;Yeah, it was in “tents”.&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; margin-bottom: 25px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: start; vertical-align: baseline;&quot;&gt;
What do you call a dentist in the army?&lt;br /&gt;A drill sergeant&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; margin-bottom: 25px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: start; vertical-align: baseline;&quot;&gt;
Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs?&lt;br /&gt;Because the cow has the utter.&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; margin-bottom: 25px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: start; vertical-align: baseline;&quot;&gt;
Why did the dog cross the road?&lt;br /&gt;To get to the “barking” lot!&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; margin-bottom: 25px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: start; vertical-align: baseline;&quot;&gt;
Did you hear about the paper boy?&lt;br /&gt;He blew away!&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; margin-bottom: 25px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: start; vertical-align: baseline;&quot;&gt;
Did you hear about the ghost comedian?&lt;br /&gt;He was booed off stage.&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; margin-bottom: 25px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: start; vertical-align: baseline;&quot;&gt;
Why do watermelons have fancy weddings?&lt;br /&gt;Because they cantaloupe.&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; margin-bottom: 25px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: start; vertical-align: baseline;&quot;&gt;
What do you call a rabbit with fleas?&lt;br /&gt;Bugs Bunny!&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; margin-bottom: 25px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: start; vertical-align: baseline;&quot;&gt;
Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize?&lt;br /&gt;Because he was outstanding in his field.&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; margin-bottom: 25px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: start; vertical-align: baseline;&quot;&gt;
Who do fish always know how much they weigh?&lt;br /&gt;Because they have their own scales.&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; margin-bottom: 25px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: start; vertical-align: baseline;&quot;&gt;
What has one horn and gives milk&lt;br /&gt;A milk truck.&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; margin-bottom: 25px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: start; vertical-align: baseline;&quot;&gt;
What do you call a person that chops up cereal.&lt;br /&gt;a cereal killer. &amp;nbsp;Read more &lt;a href=&quot;http://adfoc.us/4409243216137&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;b style=&quot;background-color: white; color: #221e1f; font-family: Georgia, &#39;Times New Roman&#39;, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.479999542236328px;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/RFAbZ&quot; style=&quot;color: black; text-decoration: none;&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Don&#39; Miss This BIG MONEY MAKING !&lt;/a&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;background-color: white; color: #221e1f; font-family: Georgia, &#39;Times New Roman&#39;, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.479999542236328px;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AhvA3&quot; style=&quot;color: black; text-decoration: none;&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Proven System Reveals How To Make LOTS of Money&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/3D7mo&quot; style=&quot;color: black; text-decoration: none;&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;More than 70 MILLION $ payed since 2008&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/9rqoZ&quot; style=&quot;color: black; text-decoration: none;&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Your money&#39;s gateway to the world!&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/7IphR&quot; style=&quot;color: black; text-decoration: none;&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Discover How You Can Make $144,823.37 A Month&amp;nbsp;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/7tOBg&quot; style=&quot;color: black; text-decoration: none;&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Quick Overview Of Our System&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/2IJuk&quot; style=&quot;color: black; text-decoration: none;&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;More shorter More Money&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AEbzZ&quot; style=&quot;color: black; text-decoration: none;&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Are You Still Struggling To Make Money Online&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/71M1Q&quot; style=&quot;color: black; text-decoration: none;&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Low Traffic ?. Get it Free here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/feeds/5215084040348503837/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/8817645039911674884/5215084040348503837' title='1 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/5215084040348503837'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/5215084040348503837'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/2014/05/hilarious-clean-jokes.html' title=' Hilarious Clean Jokes'/><author><name>Unknown</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyagq7Pv57KbmkO9mIprxEZXs6QnATxjWBC8_BGnfnz2mu89v2L1keh0mE4EFU7ewtF_Z-AfSchwUOrInMrHCAzobujafSsUDHj4aply9uCzv4XYBmvcl1ZKSpvVaEA8Coye-tFOz07fzV/s72-c/xxxx.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>1</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8817645039911674884.post-2843569160242304026</id><published>2014-03-06T00:27:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2014-03-06T00:27:08.783-08:00</updated><title type='text'>Blonde Stupid Jokes</title><content type='html'>&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;
&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZvJUMeZSioZ_aiROW_F01UyN_Y3I-XOkLZ6mCNflOCmpOCrEIX8P7OesDKc_fFxW3KC4YROb7Eqm9sFVwvNBxJRtMx39G9R_eTGGDj8gQHALxqUcRMYDwfni_co4gG2CjqkODjVxWpX1u/s1600/blonde1.jpg&quot; imageanchor=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZvJUMeZSioZ_aiROW_F01UyN_Y3I-XOkLZ6mCNflOCmpOCrEIX8P7OesDKc_fFxW3KC4YROb7Eqm9sFVwvNBxJRtMx39G9R_eTGGDj8gQHALxqUcRMYDwfni_co4gG2CjqkODjVxWpX1u/s1600/blonde1.jpg&quot; height=&quot;255&quot; width=&quot;320&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #fefefe; border: none; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times, &#39;Times New Roman&#39;, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;&quot;&gt;
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #fefefe; border: none; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times, &#39;Times New Roman&#39;, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;&quot;&gt;
“My God!” the trooper gasped. “Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma’am?”&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #fefefe; border: none; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times, &#39;Times New Roman&#39;, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;&quot;&gt;
“Yes, officer, I’m just fine” the blonde chirped. “Well, how in the world did this happen?” the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #fefefe; border: none; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times, &#39;Times New Roman&#39;, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;&quot;&gt;
“Officer, it was the strangest thing!” the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was…”&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #fefefe; border: none; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Times, &#39;Times New Roman&#39;, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 25px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;&quot;&gt;
“Uh, ma’am”, the officer said, cutting her off, “There isn’t a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth.” &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/eTmyr&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;More jokes here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;b style=&quot;color: #221e1f; font-family: Georgia, &#39;Times New Roman&#39;, serif; line-height: 18.479999542236328px;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/RFAbZ&quot; style=&quot;color: black; text-decoration: none;&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Don&#39; Miss This BIG MONEY MAKING !&lt;/a&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;background-color: white; color: #221e1f; line-height: 18.479999542236328px;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AhvA3&quot; style=&quot;color: black; text-decoration: none;&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Proven System Reveals How To Make LOTS of Money&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br style=&quot;background-color: white; color: #221e1f; line-height: 18.479999542236328px;&quot; /&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;background-color: white; color: #221e1f; line-height: 18.479999542236328px;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/3D7mo&quot; style=&quot;color: black; text-decoration: none;&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;More than 70 MILLION $ payed since 2008&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/9rqoZ&quot; style=&quot;color: black; text-decoration: none;&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Your money&#39;s gateway to the world!&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/7IphR&quot; style=&quot;color: black; text-decoration: none;&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Discover How You Can Make $144,823.37 A Month&amp;nbsp;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/7tOBg&quot; style=&quot;color: black; text-decoration: none;&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Quick Overview Of Our System&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/2IJuk&quot; style=&quot;color: black; text-decoration: none;&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;More shorter More Money&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AEbzZ&quot; style=&quot;color: black; text-decoration: none;&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Are You Still Struggling To Make Money Online&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/71M1Q&quot; style=&quot;color: black; text-decoration: none;&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Low Traffic ?. Get it Free here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/feeds/2843569160242304026/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/8817645039911674884/2843569160242304026' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/2843569160242304026'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/2843569160242304026'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/2014/03/blonde-stupid-jokes.html' title='Blonde Stupid Jokes'/><author><name>Unknown</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZvJUMeZSioZ_aiROW_F01UyN_Y3I-XOkLZ6mCNflOCmpOCrEIX8P7OesDKc_fFxW3KC4YROb7Eqm9sFVwvNBxJRtMx39G9R_eTGGDj8gQHALxqUcRMYDwfni_co4gG2CjqkODjVxWpX1u/s72-c/blonde1.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8817645039911674884.post-5439723614259028729</id><published>2013-08-10T12:43:00.001-07:00</published><updated>2013-08-10T12:43:24.918-07:00</updated><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="jokes for kids"/><title type='text'>Joke for Kids - Ghost &amp; Zebra</title><content type='html'>&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;
&lt;b&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMY0TivNW9crs4FlYy2SpZzhBtuT6G9qpy-Xsri-2gOsylU2WFDArB1ZwLfjhHl3QWiM9qBIfpLEyjwmtyAKZtkmh9mnNrBNYnK9MX_U5oJtySBgyxd-TdAXyWk92v9Qo_zqW1qDBCjkWq/s1600/ghost.jpg&quot; imageanchor=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;233&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMY0TivNW9crs4FlYy2SpZzhBtuT6G9qpy-Xsri-2gOsylU2WFDArB1ZwLfjhHl3QWiM9qBIfpLEyjwmtyAKZtkmh9mnNrBNYnK9MX_U5oJtySBgyxd-TdAXyWk92v9Qo_zqW1qDBCjkWq/s320/ghost.jpg&quot; width=&quot;320&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span&gt;&lt;span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: black;&quot;&gt;Question: Why are ghosts bad liars?
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: black; font-size: small;&quot;&gt;
Answer: Because you can see right through them&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span&gt;&lt;span&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: black;&quot;&gt;Q: What&#39;s black and white and makes a lot of noise?&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: black; font-size: small;&quot;&gt;A: A zebra with a drum kit.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: black; font-size: small;&quot;&gt;More jokes ? &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/Tlfz5&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Come her&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: x-small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/RFAbZ&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Don&#39; Miss This BIG MONEY MAKING !&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: x-small;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: x-small;&quot;&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;

&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AhvA3&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Proven System Reveals How To Make LOTS of Money&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: x-small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/3D7mo&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;More than 70 MILLION $ payed since 2008&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/9rqoZ&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Your money&#39;s gateway to the world!&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/7IphR&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Discover How You Can Make $144,823.37 A Month&amp;nbsp;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/7tOBg&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Quick Overview Of Our System&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/2IJuk&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;More shorter More Money&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AEbzZ&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Are You Still Struggling To Make Money Online&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/71M1Q&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Low Traffic ?. Get it Free here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/feeds/5439723614259028729/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/8817645039911674884/5439723614259028729' title='2 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/5439723614259028729'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/5439723614259028729'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/2013/08/joke-for-kids-ghost-zebra.html' title='Joke for Kids - Ghost &amp; Zebra'/><author><name>Unknown</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMY0TivNW9crs4FlYy2SpZzhBtuT6G9qpy-Xsri-2gOsylU2WFDArB1ZwLfjhHl3QWiM9qBIfpLEyjwmtyAKZtkmh9mnNrBNYnK9MX_U5oJtySBgyxd-TdAXyWk92v9Qo_zqW1qDBCjkWq/s72-c/ghost.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>2</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8817645039911674884.post-480332183923650566</id><published>2013-06-28T16:35:00.001-07:00</published><updated>2013-06-28T16:35:03.362-07:00</updated><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="blonde jokesSee"/><title type='text'>Another Blonde Jokes</title><content type='html'>&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;table align=&quot;center&quot; cellpadding=&quot;0&quot; cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; class=&quot;tr-caption-container&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;tbody&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcWEzaf1_psqw3rBDxGbTBq7-ZXyuN3DpOVlNHpsXRXodFV9CHbpOuYZPEVtx-_xFekvHq6th-SvW-HeZopQrX_ootgwZjZ7RkKjwq5Z6QDPw94Banbp45O0mbhdvdJ4RyDklSJURw0jHB/s745/9198098420-1358799832-res.jpg&quot; imageanchor=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;320&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcWEzaf1_psqw3rBDxGbTBq7-ZXyuN3DpOVlNHpsXRXodFV9CHbpOuYZPEVtx-_xFekvHq6th-SvW-HeZopQrX_ootgwZjZ7RkKjwq5Z6QDPw94Banbp45O0mbhdvdJ4RyDklSJURw0jHB/s320/9198098420-1358799832-res.jpg&quot; width=&quot;300&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td class=&quot;tr-caption&quot; style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;See REAL &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/RFL0k&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Blonde Girls&lt;/a&gt; or&amp;nbsp; Blonde &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/RG0hS&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Jokes Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td class=&quot;tr-caption&quot; style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;/tbody&gt;&lt;/table&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a deserted island 
together.  The island is 20 miles from the nearest inhabited island so 
they all decide to try to swim there.  The redhead makes it 10 miles, is
 exhausted, gives up, and drowns.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;The brunette makes it 15 miles before
 she&#39;s too tired to go any farther and drowns.  The blonde gets 19 miles
 away from the deserted island, decides she&#39;s too tired to go any 
farther, and swims all the way back to the deserted island.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;table align=&quot;center&quot; cellpadding=&quot;0&quot; cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; class=&quot;tr-caption-container&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;tbody&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6qwOMq7bH_Uq6DRlRtVOmg_HPAnkAVR7ysszfBvz7egUFNMpl1Wt-DygPvzxcEI5vehyJBVh0iw0553ReWR8NsSiiAChTePME2aLvOu-eI1lmrqT6gh8JPe7B6AnXqQZt5tJ4751wt2EK/s500/blonde-hair-blue-eyes-girlblond-hair-blue-eyes-girls---inspiring-picture-on-favimcom-on-n3dbdtpi_zps03c14726.jpg&quot; imageanchor=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;212&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6qwOMq7bH_Uq6DRlRtVOmg_HPAnkAVR7ysszfBvz7egUFNMpl1Wt-DygPvzxcEI5vehyJBVh0iw0553ReWR8NsSiiAChTePME2aLvOu-eI1lmrqT6gh8JPe7B6AnXqQZt5tJ4751wt2EK/s320/blonde-hair-blue-eyes-girlblond-hair-blue-eyes-girls---inspiring-picture-on-favimcom-on-n3dbdtpi_zps03c14726.jpg&quot; width=&quot;320&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td class=&quot;tr-caption&quot; style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;Want see pics like this ? &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/RFL0k&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Come here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;/tbody&gt;&lt;/table&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;

Q. How do you make a blonde&#39;s eyes light up?&lt;br /&gt;A. Shine a flashlight in her ears.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;

Q. What do UFO&#39;s and smart blondes have in common?&lt;br /&gt;A. You hear about them all the time, but you never see one.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;

Q. A blonde and a brunette are pushed out of an airplane. Which one hits the ground first?&lt;br /&gt;A.  The brunette, because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;

Q. What do you call 25 blondes standing ear to ear?&lt;br /&gt;A. A wind tunnel.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;

Q. What do you call 10 blondes in a refridgerator?&lt;br /&gt;A. Frosted Flakes.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;

Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?&lt;br /&gt;A. You can park in the handicap zone.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;

Q. How can you tell if a blonde&#39;s been using the computer?&lt;br /&gt;A. There&#39;s white-out on the screen.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;

Q. How can you tell if another blonde&#39;s been using the computer?&lt;br /&gt;A. There&#39;s writing on the white-out.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;

Q. How did the blonde die ice-fishing?&lt;br /&gt;A. She was run over by the zambonis machine.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;

Q. What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear?&lt;br /&gt;A. &quot;Thanks for the refill!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;

Q. Why do blondes have more fun?&lt;br /&gt;A. They are easier to keep amused.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;

Q. Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?&lt;br /&gt;A. To see what was on the other side.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;

Q. What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?&lt;br /&gt;A. Pull the pin and throw it back.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;

Q. How do you drown a blonde?&lt;br /&gt;A1. Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.&lt;br /&gt;A2. Stick a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;

Q. What do you get when you give a blonde a penny for her thoughts?&lt;br /&gt;A. Change.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;

Q. Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished the jigsaw puzzle after only 6 months?&lt;br /&gt;A. Because on the box it said: From 2-4 years.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;

Q. How do you amuse a blonde for hours?&lt;br /&gt;A. Write &#39;Please turn over&#39; on both sides of a piece of paper.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;

Q. What did the blonde name her pet zebra?&lt;br /&gt;A. Spot.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;

Q. How do you drive a blonde crazy?&lt;br /&gt;A. Give her a bag of M &amp;amp; M s and tell her to alphabetize them.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;

Q. What goes: VROOM... SCREECH... VROOM... SCREECH... VROOM... SCREECH?&lt;br /&gt;A. A blonde going through a flashing red light.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;

Q. Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?&lt;br /&gt;A. She missed.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;

Q. What did the blonde say when she knocked over a priceless Ming vase?&lt;br /&gt;A. &quot;It&#39;s okay Daddy, I&#39;m not hurt.&quot;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/RFAbZ&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Don&#39; Miss This BIG MONEY MAKING !&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;

&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AhvA3&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Proven System Reveals How To Make LOTS of Money&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/3D7mo&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;More than 70 MILLION $ payed since 2008&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/9rqoZ&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Your money&#39;s gateway to the world!&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/7IphR&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Discover How You Can Make $144,823.37 A Month&amp;nbsp;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/7tOBg&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Quick Overview Of Our System&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/2IJuk&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;More shorter More Money&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AEbzZ&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Are You Still Struggling To Make Money Online&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/71M1Q&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Low Traffic ?. Get it Free here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;

</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/feeds/480332183923650566/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/8817645039911674884/480332183923650566' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/480332183923650566'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/480332183923650566'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/2013/06/another-blonde-jokes.html' title='Another Blonde Jokes'/><author><name>Unknown</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcWEzaf1_psqw3rBDxGbTBq7-ZXyuN3DpOVlNHpsXRXodFV9CHbpOuYZPEVtx-_xFekvHq6th-SvW-HeZopQrX_ootgwZjZ7RkKjwq5Z6QDPw94Banbp45O0mbhdvdJ4RyDklSJURw0jHB/s72-c/9198098420-1358799832-res.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8817645039911674884.post-4595893178784278163</id><published>2013-03-15T22:23:00.002-07:00</published><updated>2013-03-15T22:25:21.169-07:00</updated><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="email account"/><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="email jokes"/><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="sign your email get hack"/><title type='text'>When Someone Is Using Your Email Account</title><content type='html'>&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;table align=&quot;center&quot; cellpadding=&quot;0&quot; cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; class=&quot;tr-caption-container&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;tbody&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh2IfdeZD6OCLMqc43ZPoqce9wZ4EzPpSZ4YjAwdHdvfrOnVxs0rMhRH64mHtW020EBgb5AmhX5R0Ud7m4DGmUh5_WeapKK0Wb2c-as9YyG-ZPu0b9Ov_slnzVKhWnv9dsri_wl6EhNhTN/s1600/email.jpg&quot; imageanchor=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;320&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh2IfdeZD6OCLMqc43ZPoqce9wZ4EzPpSZ4YjAwdHdvfrOnVxs0rMhRH64mHtW020EBgb5AmhX5R0Ud7m4DGmUh5_WeapKK0Wb2c-as9YyG-ZPu0b9Ov_slnzVKhWnv9dsri_wl6EhNhTN/s320/email.jpg&quot; width=&quot;213&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td class=&quot;tr-caption&quot; style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/KwFD6&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;Read &lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;more &lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;here&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;/tbody&gt;&lt;/table&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp; &quot;Honey, why is an 18-wheeler from Amazon.com backing into our driveway?&quot;

&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;li&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;One Secret Service agent is sitting on your head while another is slapping cuffs on you.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;li&gt;You are served with a search warrant for all those porn pics that keep arriving in you&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;r &lt;/span&gt;email box.&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;Apparently, your flame war with DonCorleone@mafia.com is about to turn ugly.&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;When you log on, your computer says &quot;You&#39;ve got lawsuits!&quot;&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;Your inbox is filled with sheep porno and you&#39;re strictly a goat porno kind of guy.&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;You&#39;re suddenly getting more Spam than the Hormel outlet store.&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;Sotheby&#39;s says the Rembrandt is yours and that you now owe them $71,000,000 and change.&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;Terse &quot;Knock it off, Oedipus&quot; email from your Mom.&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;Your wife calls you at the office to report that Pogdi, your Pakistani mail-order bride, has arrived.&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;&quot;The resistance welcomes your involvement. Your contact 
information has been forwarded to a local insurgent who will bring 
supplies and reinforcements to you immediately.&quot;&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;Read &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/KwFD6&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;mor&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;e her&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/KwFD6&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt; &lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: xx-small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;Advertisement&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: xx-small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;

&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AhvA3&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Proven System Reveals How To Make LOTS of Money&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/3D7mo&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;More than 70 MILLION $ payed since 2008&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/9rqoZ&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Your money&#39;s gateway to the world!&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/7IphR&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Discover How You Can Make $144,823.37 A Month&amp;nbsp;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/7tOBg&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Quick Overview Of Our System&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/2IJuk&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;More shorter More Money&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AEbzZ&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Are You Still Struggling To Make Money Online&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/71M1Q&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Low Traffic ?. Get it Free here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/feeds/4595893178784278163/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/8817645039911674884/4595893178784278163' title='1 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/4595893178784278163'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/4595893178784278163'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/2013/03/when-someone-is-using-your-email-account.html' title='When Someone Is Using Your Email Account'/><author><name>Unknown</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh2IfdeZD6OCLMqc43ZPoqce9wZ4EzPpSZ4YjAwdHdvfrOnVxs0rMhRH64mHtW020EBgb5AmhX5R0Ud7m4DGmUh5_WeapKK0Wb2c-as9YyG-ZPu0b9Ov_slnzVKhWnv9dsri_wl6EhNhTN/s72-c/email.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>1</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8817645039911674884.post-6357350600919072543</id><published>2013-01-06T10:08:00.001-08:00</published><updated>2013-01-06T10:08:08.812-08:00</updated><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="boobs"/><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="boobs jokes"/><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="breast jokes"/><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="funniest commercial EVER"/><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="how to make your boobs grow faster"/><title type='text'>How to make your boobs grow faster</title><content type='html'>&lt;table align=&quot;center&quot; cellpadding=&quot;0&quot; cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; class=&quot;tr-caption-container&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;tbody&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLesHjDTKfrxq4OY7JIuHhyphenhyphenQgx_fjvkvbn_5ACmIfu4hCJW-zzpBcHt8n5qLRI425WflQNijhHlaFyPwS0PQWU7z94bL4JrRiusfr2iDWoxwCWQFSmGmpk-1wTr74X2logVlGPJfUPVZXI/s1600/tape-measure-boobs.jpg&quot; imageanchor=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;173&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLesHjDTKfrxq4OY7JIuHhyphenhyphenQgx_fjvkvbn_5ACmIfu4hCJW-zzpBcHt8n5qLRI425WflQNijhHlaFyPwS0PQWU7z94bL4JrRiusfr2iDWoxwCWQFSmGmpk-1wTr74X2logVlGPJfUPVZXI/s320/tape-measure-boobs.jpg&quot; width=&quot;320&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td class=&quot;tr-caption&quot; style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/GzFTy&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Let see breast enlargement programs&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;/tbody&gt;&lt;/table&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;joke-joke&quot;&gt;A man was walking down the street when he saw a woman with the perfect, and I mean PERFECT, breasts he&#39;d ever seen.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He walked up to her and said, &quot;Ma&#39;am, you have perfect breasts, and I will pay you $100 to bite them.&quot; The woman was horrified and began to walk away.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The man caught her and said, &quot;Alright, I&#39;ll pay you $1,000 to bite your breasts.&quot; Still horrified, the woman began to run away.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The
 man caught her again and said, &quot;Fine. I&#39;ll pay you $10,000 to bite your
 breasts, and not a penny more.&quot; The woman then thinks that $10,000 will
 be worth it, so she finally agreed.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;They went into a deserted 
alley away from the city action. The woman took off her shirt and bra, 
revealing the perfect breasts. The man then began to touch, squeeze, 
fondle, poke, and everything to the woman&#39;s breasts EXCEPT biting them.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The woman then said, &quot;Well, are you gonna bite them or not?!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The man replied, &quot;Nah, too expensive.&quot;&amp;nbsp; -&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/GzFje&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt; Source&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;See Video Below&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;
&lt;iframe width=&quot;400&quot; height=&quot;315&quot; src=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/embed/JOKej-pLoLc&quot; frameborder=&quot;0&quot; allowfullscreen&gt;&lt;/iframe&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;** &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/GzF8M&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;How to grow your breast naturally ?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: x-small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;Advertisement&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: x-small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;

&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AhvA3&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Proven System Reveals How To Make LOTS of Money&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/3D7mo&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;More than 70 MILLION $ payed since 2008&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/9rqoZ&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Your money&#39;s gateway to the world!&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/7IphR&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Discover How You Can Make $144,823.37 A Month&amp;nbsp;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/7tOBg&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Quick Overview Of Our System&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/2IJuk&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;More shorter More Money&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AEbzZ&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Are You Still Struggling To Make Money Online&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/71M1Q&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Low Traffic ?. Get it Free here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/feeds/6357350600919072543/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/8817645039911674884/6357350600919072543' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/6357350600919072543'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/6357350600919072543'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/2013/01/how-to-make-your-boobs-grow-faster.html' title='How to make your boobs grow faster'/><author><name>Unknown</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLesHjDTKfrxq4OY7JIuHhyphenhyphenQgx_fjvkvbn_5ACmIfu4hCJW-zzpBcHt8n5qLRI425WflQNijhHlaFyPwS0PQWU7z94bL4JrRiusfr2iDWoxwCWQFSmGmpk-1wTr74X2logVlGPJfUPVZXI/s72-c/tape-measure-boobs.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8817645039911674884.post-737576184133071919</id><published>2012-12-21T22:41:00.001-08:00</published><updated>2012-12-21T22:41:18.741-08:00</updated><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Dont Buy This To A Women For Christmas"/><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="worst christmas cards"/><title type='text'>Worst Christmas Cards</title><content type='html'>&lt;table align=&quot;center&quot; cellpadding=&quot;0&quot; cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; class=&quot;tr-caption-container&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;tbody&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYNE7qzl5xzJwuCLE8HOQ4Jjm_xypIjZvGnzboNylxzjU8M-CdmjMbeBVHvjxHl-flTzhb5hJhGbvGRbs3QhxB3Ttz4yzwzv8Oi2QLIaSbcK3JrA_ErY7plbgO-8vTuokey5x54FNivcCV/s1600/Worst-Christmas-Photos-01.jpg&quot; imageanchor=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;295&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYNE7qzl5xzJwuCLE8HOQ4Jjm_xypIjZvGnzboNylxzjU8M-CdmjMbeBVHvjxHl-flTzhb5hJhGbvGRbs3QhxB3Ttz4yzwzv8Oi2QLIaSbcK3JrA_ErY7plbgO-8vTuokey5x54FNivcCV/s400/Worst-Christmas-Photos-01.jpg&quot; width=&quot;400&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td class=&quot;tr-caption&quot; style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;The worst &lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Christmas&lt;/span&gt; card. &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/GIkqQ&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;See some more ?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;/tbody&gt;&lt;/table&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;
&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0141318716/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il?ie=UTF8&amp;amp;tag=freefromhome-20&amp;amp;linkCode=am2&amp;amp;camp=1789&amp;amp;creative=9325&amp;amp;creativeASIN=0141318716&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; src=&quot;http://ws.assoc-amazon.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&amp;amp;Format=_SL160_&amp;amp;ASIN=0141318716&amp;amp;MarketPlace=US&amp;amp;ID=AsinImage&amp;amp;WS=1&amp;amp;tag=freefromhome-20&amp;amp;ServiceVersion=20070822&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;1&quot; src=&quot;http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=freefromhome-20&amp;amp;l=am2&amp;amp;o=1&amp;amp;a=0141318716&quot; style=&quot;border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;&quot; width=&quot;1&quot; /&gt;


&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Don&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&#39;t Buy This To A Women For Christmas&amp;nbsp; !!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;1. Never give a woman any kind of
 household appliance or something that is going to make &quot;housework&quot; 
easier. For instance, a blender, a toaster, a new vacuum, one of those 
mops they advertise on tv that does everything but suck the life out of 
you, anything in a informercial. One allowed choice is a new washing 
machine with a turbo spin cycle. (Makes laundry day go by pretty fast 
when you can at least sit on it during spin-dry and end up smiling the 
rest of the day.)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;



2. Any bulk cleaning supplies, &quot;honey, I got you that large box of Tide 
you have been wanting.&quot; &quot;This Windex should last you a while.&quot; &quot;I got a 
good deal on the industrial strength toilet bowl cleaner.&quot; All I can say
 is, be prepared to run. I have faith that if you would have at least 
stopped and thought about what would be a much more intimate gift, you 
would have had the sense to spring for the $5 Chia Pet you were eyeing 
in Kmart. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;



3. Any sharp objects made by Ronco which slices or dices, or a set of 
ginsu knives. These may one day be used as a weapon against you when you
 come home with lipstick on your collar after a &quot;night out with the 
boys.&quot;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;



4. Do not buy gifts for yourself and pretend they are for her. &quot;Honey, 
I&#39;m sure you&#39;ll get a lot of use out of the new drill I bought you.&quot; By 
then she will have put it to good use by drilling a quarter inch hole 
into the side of your skull for even thinking she would accept such a 
lame gift. After a gift like this, you probably won&#39;t be around for NEXT
 Christmas.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;



5. Any lingerie made of flannel, such as a pair of feet pajamas with a 
trap door in back. A Little Mermaid or Barney cartoon character 
nightgown. It gives her the idea that you do not consider her the 
beautiful woman that she is. Take out that wallet and buy her something 
sexy from Victoria Secret (just like you did for your mistress or other 
girlfriend).&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;



6. No name perfume which costs you $1.99, such as Eu de Toilet, which 
actually smells like the bathroom, moldy fruit, or your dirty socks. If 
you are going to buy her perfume, spring for the brand names.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;



7. Any type of cubic zirconia jewelry you see on the Home Shopping 
Network. It will be quite embarrassing when she is showing off that 
fabulous diamond to her friends and tries to cut glass with it. (We 
actually test them you know.) Also, now would not be a good time to buy 
her that set of diamond nipple clamps you always wanted to, you know how
 we like to show off our jewelry and it could get embarrassing at the 
New Year&#39;s party when she decides to show them off to your buddies.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;



8. Please do not buy her clothes because you think for one minute you 
have good taste in woman&#39;s clothing. Well, perhaps you might if you are a
 transvestite, but all in all, believe me, she&#39;ll smile and say its 
beautiful while choking back tears and mumbling under her breath, &quot;were 
the hell would I ever wear this outfit without being arrested for bad 
taste?&quot; An additional hint, plaids do not go with stripes (even though 
you think your golfing outfit looks just fine). Its a known fact to the 
rest of the world that that is a taboo. In the Northeast, thats like 
wearing white after Labor Day.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;R&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;ead some more ? &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/GIlBI&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;Advertisement&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;

&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AhvA3&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Proven System Reveals How To Make LOTS of Money&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/3D7mo&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;More than 70 MILLION $ payed since 2008&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/9rqoZ&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Your money&#39;s gateway to the world!&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/7IphR&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Discover How You Can Make $144,823.37 A Month&amp;nbsp;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/7tOBg&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Quick Overview Of Our System&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/2IJuk&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;More shorter More Money&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AEbzZ&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Are You Still Struggling To Make Money Online&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/71M1Q&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Low Traffic ?. Get it Free here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/feeds/737576184133071919/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/8817645039911674884/737576184133071919' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/737576184133071919'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/737576184133071919'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/2012/12/worst-christmas-cards.html' title='Worst Christmas Cards'/><author><name>Unknown</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYNE7qzl5xzJwuCLE8HOQ4Jjm_xypIjZvGnzboNylxzjU8M-CdmjMbeBVHvjxHl-flTzhb5hJhGbvGRbs3QhxB3Ttz4yzwzv8Oi2QLIaSbcK3JrA_ErY7plbgO-8vTuokey5x54FNivcCV/s72-c/Worst-Christmas-Photos-01.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8817645039911674884.post-8043325242230435603</id><published>2012-11-24T17:29:00.003-08:00</published><updated>2012-11-24T17:29:42.943-08:00</updated><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="facebook jokes"/><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Funny Facebook Status"/><title type='text'> Funny Facebook Status</title><content type='html'>&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;
&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDOcoa3lQkyK3Wtmr9plY2CIB3RAOvbxVBWEGa7lQDydGWHYII2CALkBRM_CL2xu3HNAm5-61mjs3m2t41GAAcVCAwD9xmDgh2_Boq4oO9yph3-2aeImeh8V7KmKpqxvhE3E0d1w_rfHRK/s1600/facebook.jpg&quot; imageanchor=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;400&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDOcoa3lQkyK3Wtmr9plY2CIB3RAOvbxVBWEGa7lQDydGWHYII2CALkBRM_CL2xu3HNAm5-61mjs3m2t41GAAcVCAwD9xmDgh2_Boq4oO9yph3-2aeImeh8V7KmKpqxvhE3E0d1w_rfHRK/s400/facebook.jpg&quot; width=&quot;320&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: x-small;&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: x-small;&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;b&gt;1.&lt;/b&gt; Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person, just a beautiful monkey :&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;
&lt;div&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;2.&lt;/b&gt; Tips to reduce weight: First turn your head to 
the right, and then turn it to the left. Repeat the exercise every time 
you are offered something to eat.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;3.&lt;/b&gt; At the end of the day, one thing we have in common is that we are all screwed up in some way.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;4.&lt;/b&gt; I found a lipstick that helps you lose weight…..it’s called super glue.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;5. &lt;/b&gt;The awkward moment when a GPS tells a gay person to go straight :)&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span id=&quot;more-15815&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;b&gt;6.&lt;/b&gt;
 TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K
 L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you 
said it’s H to O!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;7.&lt;/b&gt; Two  roommates were watching the news. News: 
Serial killer on the loose.  Blonde: Oh no! (runs to kitchen) Brunette: 
What are you doing? Blonde:  Saving my cereal!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;8.&lt;/b&gt; Wife  standing in front of a mirror and telling 
to her husband, “I am fat,  old, wrinkled and no longer pretty. Will you
 still give me a romantic  compliment?” Husband replied, “Your eyesight 
is still excellent.”&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;9.&lt;/b&gt; One student fell into a cycle of classes, 
studying, working and sleeping. Didn’t realize how long he had neglected
 writing home until he received the following note: “Dear  Son, Your 
mother and I enjoyed your last letter. Of course, we were  much younger 
then, and more impressionable. Love, Dad.”&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;10.&lt;/b&gt; What is meant by Mixed Emotions? Your enemy 
falls from 17th floor on your brand new Audi and you don’t know whether 
to laugh or cry!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
11This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, 
idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without 
the word dog.
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
12. I haven&#39;t met Mr. Right yet, but I have met Mr. Fake, Mr. Player &amp;amp; Mr. A**hole. My middle finger likes them all&amp;nbsp;

&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;b&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div&gt;
&lt;b&gt;Advertisement&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: x-small;&quot;&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AhvA3&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Proven System Reveals How To Make LOTS of Money&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/3D7mo&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;More than 70 MILLION $ payed since 2008&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/9rqoZ&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Your money&#39;s gateway to the world!&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
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&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/7tOBg&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Quick Overview Of Our System&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/2IJuk&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;More shorter More Money&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AEbzZ&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Are You Still Struggling To Make Money Online&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/71M1Q&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Low Traffic ?. Get it Free here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;
</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/feeds/8043325242230435603/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/8817645039911674884/8043325242230435603' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/8043325242230435603'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/8043325242230435603'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/2012/11/funny-facebook-status.html' title=' Funny Facebook Status'/><author><name>Unknown</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDOcoa3lQkyK3Wtmr9plY2CIB3RAOvbxVBWEGa7lQDydGWHYII2CALkBRM_CL2xu3HNAm5-61mjs3m2t41GAAcVCAwD9xmDgh2_Boq4oO9yph3-2aeImeh8V7KmKpqxvhE3E0d1w_rfHRK/s72-c/facebook.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8817645039911674884.post-1741230332905367938</id><published>2012-10-29T16:50:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2012-10-29T16:50:05.705-07:00</updated><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="premature problem joke"/><title type='text'>Premature Jokes</title><content type='html'>&lt;div&gt;
&lt;table align=&quot;center&quot; cellpadding=&quot;0&quot; cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; class=&quot;tr-caption-container&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;tbody&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAZDpi5xre0HTsDv6M2I5uMdXhQhMuQP5WRblQg7xlQKlMjlJl5VADxtOckdAkqO7K3sHeMn42b9LfOFLs8QH2LI5vxwzSkx_hpwKjpQq34fNxNTXlyfLZDQh1QlphER-IOjD-faeYUxKq/s1600/Jokes.jpg&quot; imageanchor=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;320&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAZDpi5xre0HTsDv6M2I5uMdXhQhMuQP5WRblQg7xlQKlMjlJl5VADxtOckdAkqO7K3sHeMn42b9LfOFLs8QH2LI5vxwzSkx_hpwKjpQq34fNxNTXlyfLZDQh1QlphER-IOjD-faeYUxKq/s320/Jokes.jpg&quot; width=&quot;245&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td class=&quot;tr-caption&quot; style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span&gt;&lt;span&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/DAdQv&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Do you have premature problem, read this simple advice. &lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;/tbody&gt;&lt;/table&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span&gt;&lt;span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;A man who was having problems with premature ejaculation went to see his
 doctor to find out what could be done to cure his problem.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&quot;When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try doing something to startle yourself,&quot; suggested the doctor.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Taking
 the doctor&#39;s suggestion to heart, the man went out and bought himself a
 starter pistol. Anxious to try the suggestion, he ran home to his wife 
and found her naked in bed waiting for him.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;As they began, they found
 themselves in the 69 position. A few short moments later, the man felt 
the sudden urge to ejaculate, grabbed the pistol and fired it.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;The next day, he returned to his doctor.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&quot;Well, how did it go?&quot; the doctor asked.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&quot;Not
 very well at all,&quot; replied the man. &quot;As soon as I fired the pistol, my 
wife crapped on my face, bit me really hard where it counts most and my 
neighbor jumped out of the closet with his hands in the air!, read more premature joke &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/DNcp2&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/DNcp2&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt; Premature Jokes 1&lt;/a&gt;and &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/EAOin&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;here too&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span&gt;&lt;span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/DAdQv&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Do you have premature problem, read this simple advice. &lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;


&lt;div&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span&gt;&lt;b&gt;Advertisement&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AhvA3&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Proven System Reveals How To Make LOTS of Money&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/3D7mo&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;More than 70 MILLION $ payed since 2008&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/9rqoZ&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Your money&#39;s gateway to the world!&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/7IphR&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Discover How You Can Make $144,823.37 A Month&amp;nbsp;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/7tOBg&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Quick Overview Of Our System&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/2IJuk&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;More shorter More Money&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AEbzZ&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Are You Still Struggling To Make Money Online&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/71M1Q&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Low Traffic ?. Get it Free here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;
</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/feeds/1741230332905367938/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/8817645039911674884/1741230332905367938' title='1 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/1741230332905367938'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/1741230332905367938'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/2012/10/premature-jokes.html' title='Premature Jokes'/><author><name>Unknown</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAZDpi5xre0HTsDv6M2I5uMdXhQhMuQP5WRblQg7xlQKlMjlJl5VADxtOckdAkqO7K3sHeMn42b9LfOFLs8QH2LI5vxwzSkx_hpwKjpQq34fNxNTXlyfLZDQh1QlphER-IOjD-faeYUxKq/s72-c/Jokes.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>1</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8817645039911674884.post-6950785147928978441</id><published>2012-09-25T11:40:00.002-07:00</published><updated>2012-09-25T11:40:40.526-07:00</updated><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="condoms"/><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="ecstatic"/><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="jokes collection"/><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="pharmacist"/><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="premature"/><title type='text'>First Time Buying Condoms</title><content type='html'>&lt;table align=&quot;center&quot; cellpadding=&quot;0&quot; cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; class=&quot;tr-caption-container&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;tbody&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjabg-xnC9MlvyLswebH7FJYGr0oVyePAYfI7JXa1Ht_AB96mlV-Rqrnr6c102Wt68IENiHD1PfDn8-qF3SV5rQjOkTgdNMGcRpWSkeDeORMzsIvC56iqeLibKYRCKxrLjjSzUe0YtWiUde/s1600/Condoms-1.png&quot; imageanchor=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;320&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjabg-xnC9MlvyLswebH7FJYGr0oVyePAYfI7JXa1Ht_AB96mlV-Rqrnr6c102Wt68IENiHD1PfDn8-qF3SV5rQjOkTgdNMGcRpWSkeDeORMzsIvC56iqeLibKYRCKxrLjjSzUe0YtWiUde/s320/Condoms-1.png&quot; width=&quot;256&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td class=&quot;tr-caption&quot; style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/DAdDI&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;How to overcome premature ? Click here for easy step&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;/tbody&gt;&lt;/table&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span&gt;A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and&lt;br /&gt;have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event,&lt;br /&gt;the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner,&lt;br /&gt;she would like to go out and make love for the first time.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before,&lt;br /&gt;so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.&lt;br /&gt;He tells the pharmacist it&#39;s his first time and the pharmacist&lt;br /&gt;helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything&lt;br /&gt;there is to know about condoms and sex. &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/DAdDI&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;( Learn Easy Step How&amp;nbsp;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div&gt;
&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/DAdDI&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span&gt;to overcome premature)&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;h4&gt;
&lt;/h4&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many&lt;br /&gt;condoms he&#39;d like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.&lt;br /&gt;The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks&lt;br /&gt;he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;That night, the boy shows up at the girl&#39;s parents house&lt;br /&gt;and meets his girlfriend at the door.&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Oh, I&#39;m so excited for you to meet my parents,&lt;br /&gt;come on in!&quot;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;table align=&quot;center&quot; cellpadding=&quot;0&quot; cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; class=&quot;tr-caption-container&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;tbody&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRBGPChmczXdTZxPOb_xfy55N1M-L4Zxb618TvGKxRpkznIQjoes3jtEozcYf35HPHwwMIaOCoCQgbQoqUGKCygKnRLCiDrqA2ecnFqe_FNotdn0MgQkkYQAwtgat5yu061jCX3iCISaPF/s1600/premature-ejaculation3-222x300.jpg&quot; imageanchor=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRBGPChmczXdTZxPOb_xfy55N1M-L4Zxb618TvGKxRpkznIQjoes3jtEozcYf35HPHwwMIaOCoCQgbQoqUGKCygKnRLCiDrqA2ecnFqe_FNotdn0MgQkkYQAwtgat5yu061jCX3iCISaPF/s1600/premature-ejaculation3-222x300.jpg&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td class=&quot;tr-caption&quot; style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;Do you have problem&amp;nbsp; &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/DAdQv&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;` Coming To Soon&#39; &lt;/a&gt;Visit Us Now&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;/tbody&gt;&lt;/table&gt;
&lt;div&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span&gt;The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table&lt;br /&gt;where the girl&#39;s parents are seated. The boy quickly offers&lt;br /&gt;to say grace and bows his head.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,&lt;br /&gt;with his head down.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.&lt;br /&gt;Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down,&lt;br /&gt;the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend,&lt;br /&gt;&quot;I had no idea you were this religious.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The boy turns, and whispers back,&lt;br /&gt;&quot;I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.&quot;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span&gt;Related Topic,&amp;nbsp; &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/DAdQv&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Do you have premature problem, read this simple advice. &lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: x-small;&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: x-small;&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: x-small;&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;&amp;nbsp;Advertisement&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AhvA3&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Proven System Reveals How To Make LOTS of Money&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;
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&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/2IJuk&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;More shorter More Money&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AEbzZ&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Are You Still Struggling To Make Money Online&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/71M1Q&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Low Traffic ?. Get it Free here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;
</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/feeds/6950785147928978441/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/8817645039911674884/6950785147928978441' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/6950785147928978441'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/6950785147928978441'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/2012/09/first-time-buying-condoms.html' title='First Time Buying Condoms'/><author><name>Unknown</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjabg-xnC9MlvyLswebH7FJYGr0oVyePAYfI7JXa1Ht_AB96mlV-Rqrnr6c102Wt68IENiHD1PfDn8-qF3SV5rQjOkTgdNMGcRpWSkeDeORMzsIvC56iqeLibKYRCKxrLjjSzUe0YtWiUde/s72-c/Condoms-1.png" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8817645039911674884.post-6621199121942922012</id><published>2012-08-05T04:03:00.002-07:00</published><updated>2012-08-05T04:04:10.659-07:00</updated><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Clever Teacher"/><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="teacher;s jokes"/><title type='text'>Teacher  Jokes : Clever One</title><content type='html'>&lt;table align=&quot;center&quot; cellpadding=&quot;0&quot; cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; class=&quot;tr-caption-container&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;tbody&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;320&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT4ZQmO08WVvMOMakn7xl-358TuaW5fo_wUGChCheI4l1swmak4bVVPqpccY4Tj5VfXYVJ8cCpSFuyr6eMQWPxk_UUbsPTCbV_1rGGecT7riHS94JSXzSIZIT6d4EtuROymIFRE5d_hmzq/s320/teacher.jpg&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;&quot; width=&quot;209&quot; /&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td class=&quot;tr-caption&quot; style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/BYRad&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;See more teacher&#39;s joke here : Joke 1 &lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;/tbody&gt;&lt;/table&gt;
&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow&#39;s final exam. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&quot;Now class, I won&#39;t tolerate any excuses for you not being there 
tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury
 or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that&#39;s it, no 
other excuses whatsoever.&quot; &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
A smart ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, &quot;What 
would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter
 sexual exhaustion?&quot; &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. 
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the 
student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, &quot;Well, I guess you&#39;d have to
 write the exam with your other hand.&quot;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;b&gt;Read more : &lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/BYRWZ&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;SchoolJokes&lt;/a&gt;,&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/BYRad&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Teacher-Student&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AOLoB&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;CoolFunnyJokes&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;Advertisement&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AhvA3&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Proven System Reveals How To Make LOTS of Money&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/3D7mo&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;More than 70 MILLION $ payed since 2008&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/9rqoZ&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Your money&#39;s gateway to the world!&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/7IphR&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Discover How You Can Make $144,823.37 A Month&amp;nbsp;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/7tOBg&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Quick Overview Of Our System&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;nbsp;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/2IJuk&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;More shorter More Money&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AEbzZ&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Are You Still Struggling To Make Money Online&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/71M1Q&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Low Traffic ?. Get it Free here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/feeds/6621199121942922012/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/8817645039911674884/6621199121942922012' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/6621199121942922012'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/6621199121942922012'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/2012/08/clever-teacher.html' title='Teacher  Jokes : Clever One'/><author><name>Unknown</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT4ZQmO08WVvMOMakn7xl-358TuaW5fo_wUGChCheI4l1swmak4bVVPqpccY4Tj5VfXYVJ8cCpSFuyr6eMQWPxk_UUbsPTCbV_1rGGecT7riHS94JSXzSIZIT6d4EtuROymIFRE5d_hmzq/s72-c/teacher.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8817645039911674884.post-3802096440211985280</id><published>2012-07-20T15:18:00.001-07:00</published><updated>2012-07-20T22:24:26.018-07:00</updated><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="funny real story"/><title type='text'>Caught by alligators</title><content type='html'>&lt;table align=&quot;center&quot; cellpadding=&quot;0&quot; cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; class=&quot;tr-caption-container&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;tbody&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO38bOsyzLX-vkqWDseu-lDrE4Ax53ULHwZgUx2xDY_lIlXpW6CaQMyAeR773o99WiPxF73QI82X3aRxN3TckOw1aoDbJ-5QnZZg486V1jlUS7HuicyBNerKZgIK9S3-NAaQfaWsshn3KJ/s1600/Funny+Crocodile+wallpaper1.jpg&quot; imageanchor=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;227&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO38bOsyzLX-vkqWDseu-lDrE4Ax53ULHwZgUx2xDY_lIlXpW6CaQMyAeR773o99WiPxF73QI82X3aRxN3TckOw1aoDbJ-5QnZZg486V1jlUS7HuicyBNerKZgIK9S3-NAaQfaWsshn3KJ/s320/Funny+Crocodile+wallpaper1.jpg&quot; width=&quot;320&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td class=&quot;tr-caption&quot; style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/Awk9M&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;How to avoid alligator attacks&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;/tbody&gt;&lt;/table&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;table align=&quot;center&quot; cellpadding=&quot;0&quot; cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; class=&quot;tr-caption-container&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;tbody&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT7E96a2fCJ2i9LV2iIpd4InlpKz5AMu5-NgOJooSwDcSEn9fynosKzuFUctgvdvGG9mIqMi2kArlLSFG0xnoATfAkjkQfY340s7h7vi4_V6kvFAGfHCvcRibL1RLGyxzLm6_8ZxcSqm-Q/s1600/funny-crocodile-child.jpg&quot; imageanchor=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;240&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT7E96a2fCJ2i9LV2iIpd4InlpKz5AMu5-NgOJooSwDcSEn9fynosKzuFUctgvdvGG9mIqMi2kArlLSFG0xnoATfAkjkQfY340s7h7vi4_V6kvFAGfHCvcRibL1RLGyxzLm6_8ZxcSqm-Q/s320/funny-crocodile-child.jpg&quot; width=&quot;320&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td class=&quot;tr-caption&quot; style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AwkMV&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;See many funny alligator&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td class=&quot;tr-caption&quot; style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;/tbody&gt;&lt;/table&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
A 71-yearl-old man fell off a 
dock and into the jaws of an alligator but said his knowledge of 
reptiles, gained from watching wildlife programs on television, helped 
him escape.&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&quot;I wasn&#39;t a bit afraid.  I knew what they usually do,&quot; said George 
Blinn, who got away from the 7-foot gator by jabbing his thumb in its 
eye.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Blinn said he has long been a fan of such programs as Wild Kingdom and knew about alligators&#39; general behavior.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
He got the chance to use that knowledge when he fell into the canal 
behind his house.  Blinn said the alligator bit him on the left hand and
 then flopped him over in the water three times before Blinn escaped. Credit : &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AwkUV&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Aha Jokes&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
&lt;a href=&quot;http://funny-company.blogfunnyimg.no-ip.org/?q=Funny%20Company&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;See many more jokes here&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;/div&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;b&gt;Related topic.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
1.&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/Awk9M&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;How to avoid alligator attacks&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
2&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;. &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AwkHC&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;How not to get eaten by a crocodile&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
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&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/feeds/3802096440211985280/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/8817645039911674884/3802096440211985280' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/3802096440211985280'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/3802096440211985280'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/2012/07/caught-by-alligators.html' title='Caught by alligators'/><author><name>Unknown</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO38bOsyzLX-vkqWDseu-lDrE4Ax53ULHwZgUx2xDY_lIlXpW6CaQMyAeR773o99WiPxF73QI82X3aRxN3TckOw1aoDbJ-5QnZZg486V1jlUS7HuicyBNerKZgIK9S3-NAaQfaWsshn3KJ/s72-c/Funny+Crocodile+wallpaper1.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8817645039911674884.post-1038670308973716230</id><published>2012-07-09T10:00:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2012-07-09T10:51:37.178-07:00</updated><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="dorm jokes"/><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="shower jokes"/><title type='text'>Dorm Shower  Jokes</title><content type='html'>&lt;table align=&quot;center&quot; cellpadding=&quot;0&quot; cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; class=&quot;tr-caption-container&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;tbody&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk5yqThFwnjOSugL4Du4fJbcdkp-JmsC-b8QWKeNlKBWBoBogJStw_AkMX9aleLMM4_rO89BXeNZ3QwXHl2OPip9QPwNCzv70ShIxTffqE9A5RxT6m8friGoTjLoI7xkDLWIYTbCzznu8S/s1600/dormshower.jpg&quot; imageanchor=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;320&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk5yqThFwnjOSugL4Du4fJbcdkp-JmsC-b8QWKeNlKBWBoBogJStw_AkMX9aleLMM4_rO89BXeNZ3QwXHl2OPip9QPwNCzv70ShIxTffqE9A5RxT6m8friGoTjLoI7xkDLWIYTbCzznu8S/s320/dormshower.jpg&quot; width=&quot;212&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td class=&quot;tr-caption&quot; style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AX89d&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;How To Shower In Dorm ? Click Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;/tbody&gt;&lt;/table&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;1. Enter the stall. Shower for about 3 minutes, then scream really 
                loudly, exclaiming, &quot;I didn&#39;t know I had one of THOSE!&quot;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;
              &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt; 
                2. Enter the stall, fully clothed. Do not undress and make sure 
                your clothes get all wet and soapy. Complain when leaving the 
                bathroom that your shirt tends to bleed.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;3. 
                Ask Scottie to beam you up.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;4. 
                Enter the stall, undress and then re-dress up as Superman. Leap 
                out of the stall, vengefully vow to stop Lex Luther&#39;s evil plot, 
                then run full force into the wall. Stand up, shake your head, 
                and proceed to take your shower.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;5. 
                Bring a bottle of fake blood or ketchup into the shower with you. 
                Exclaim &quot;Ow! You know, it really hurts when you pop one of 
                those.&quot; Then let the blood/ketchup seep down the drain for 
                all to see.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;6. 
                Bring in a rubber chicken. Get it all soapy, then toss in into 
                the next stall. Demand that the person in that stall return it 
                to you, or you will cast a voodoo curse on them. The next day, 
                hang the chicken from the bathroom lighting fixtures by a noose 
                and stick numerous pins and forks in it.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;7. 
                Have a seizure. Bang against the walls of the stall really hard. 
                Try to knock them down. If anyone later asks if you are okay, 
                just say that you had some Mexican Jumping Fava Beans and they 
                were reacting negatively with your stomach.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;8. 
                Stand in the bathroom, waiting for would-be shower-goers. When 
                they come in, tell them &quot;not to do it&quot; and ask them 
                &quot;not to give in to sin.&quot; Wail mournfully when they step 
                into the shower.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;9. 
                Initiate a war with the person in the stall next to you. Use the 
                residual water on the floor as your battle medium, and float little 
                battleships over to their side. If they kick them back or throw 
                them over the edge, exclaim that you didn&#39;t know they had the 
                power of God and sheepishly mumble prayers for the duration of 
                your shower.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;10. 
                Bring in a fake finger. Float it down the drainage &quot;ditch.&quot; 
                Ask if someone would be so kind as to return it to you. If no 
                one does, tell them that the finger has been sacrificed to Satan 
                and that the shower stalls are now possessed. Hang Halloween decorations 
                and crepe-paper ghosts from them the next day.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;More dorm Shower joke ? &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AX7Sf&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Click Here&amp;nbsp;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AX8HJ&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;How girls take shower in dorm&lt;/a&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;Advertisement: &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/4bUoW%20&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Free advertisement&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/3D7mo&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Endless earning with investment&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://alturl.com/wn8qd&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Great programs&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/7tOBg%20&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Never Sleep with look this&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/AEbzZ&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Upload and get paid&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/2IJuk&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;shorter is great&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/feeds/1038670308973716230/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/8817645039911674884/1038670308973716230' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/1038670308973716230'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/1038670308973716230'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/2012/07/blog-post.html' title='Dorm Shower  Jokes'/><author><name>Unknown</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk5yqThFwnjOSugL4Du4fJbcdkp-JmsC-b8QWKeNlKBWBoBogJStw_AkMX9aleLMM4_rO89BXeNZ3QwXHl2OPip9QPwNCzv70ShIxTffqE9A5RxT6m8friGoTjLoI7xkDLWIYTbCzznu8S/s72-c/dormshower.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8817645039911674884.post-8015840149390457562</id><published>2012-06-16T17:29:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2012-06-16T17:29:06.177-07:00</updated><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="funny jokes for adults"/><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="heaven gate"/><title type='text'>The Price You Pay For Being Good</title><content type='html'>&lt;table align=&quot;center&quot; cellpadding=&quot;0&quot; cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; class=&quot;tr-caption-container&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;tbody&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0dbF1oBRLCxk9wukNNXFYtYGiWOrPP6yhGZhyphenhyphengKaOtWSxda80tJ8cdO7G793fqTj6D5ns0LrE6Aaqr7cUcoj_Nb85i1ceaspXqIfTScQkKeVEL6jYznYT-LrnvH4dL-myMKt1Zz-g2mAj/s1600/heavensgates-229.jpg&quot; imageanchor=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;240&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0dbF1oBRLCxk9wukNNXFYtYGiWOrPP6yhGZhyphenhyphengKaOtWSxda80tJ8cdO7G793fqTj6D5ns0LrE6Aaqr7cUcoj_Nb85i1ceaspXqIfTScQkKeVEL6jYznYT-LrnvH4dL-myMKt1Zz-g2mAj/s320/heavensgates-229.jpg&quot; width=&quot;320&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td class=&quot;tr-caption&quot; style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;Read full real story about &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/9mTUS&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;` Heaven Gate&#39;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;/tbody&gt;&lt;/table&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
3 Men were waiting to go to heaven. St Peter was at the gate and 
said, &quot;However good you were to your wife that is the vehicle you will 
get in heaven&quot;.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
The first guy comes up to the gate and says, &quot;I never, ever cheated 
on my wife and I love her&quot;. So St. Peter gives him a Rolls Royce.&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
The next man comes up and says, &quot;I cheated on my wife a little but I 
stilll love her.&quot; He gets a mustang and drives off into heaven.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
The next guy came up and said, &quot;I cheated on my wife alot&quot;. He gets a scooter.&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
Next day the guy that got the scooter was riding along and he saw the guy who owned the Rolls Royce crying.&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;
He asked, &quot;Why are you crying you have such a nice car?!&quot; and the man sobbed, &quot;My wife just went by on roller skates&quot;.&amp;nbsp; Read the &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/7tO8g&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;site for earning&lt;/a&gt;, other &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/7tOBg&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;site for $$&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/feeds/8015840149390457562/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/8817645039911674884/8015840149390457562' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/8015840149390457562'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/8015840149390457562'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/2012/06/price-you-pay-for-being-good.html' title='The Price You Pay For Being Good'/><author><name>Unknown</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0dbF1oBRLCxk9wukNNXFYtYGiWOrPP6yhGZhyphenhyphengKaOtWSxda80tJ8cdO7G793fqTj6D5ns0LrE6Aaqr7cUcoj_Nb85i1ceaspXqIfTScQkKeVEL6jYznYT-LrnvH4dL-myMKt1Zz-g2mAj/s72-c/heavensgates-229.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8817645039911674884.post-6714177862185627853</id><published>2012-05-16T17:38:00.001-07:00</published><updated>2012-05-16T17:40:44.540-07:00</updated><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Banana Guy Catches On Fire"/><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Stupid Video"/><title type='text'>Stupid Video : Guy Catches On Fire</title><content type='html'>&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1o4ErOikn4hH7XD473BTpwe-jis_IdNCfcyu_VhGBy1LxFkRwjc_nZcXuYUNglcDwxSRDyPBeXlGmj5r0yr5fGFZ6wRDqPM-EjQ_FJG4uJn2B-Z-oyynTZv5GeFB79FB3CyLflBTFtBHH/s1600/banana.jpg&quot; imageanchor=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;211&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1o4ErOikn4hH7XD473BTpwe-jis_IdNCfcyu_VhGBy1LxFkRwjc_nZcXuYUNglcDwxSRDyPBeXlGmj5r0yr5fGFZ6wRDqPM-EjQ_FJG4uJn2B-Z-oyynTZv5GeFB79FB3CyLflBTFtBHH/s320/banana.jpg&quot; width=&quot;320&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;iframe allowfullscreen=&quot;&quot; frameborder=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;315&quot; src=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/embed/VUj_rgTa9Wo&quot; width=&quot;400&quot;&gt;&lt;/iframe&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;This is really stupid video.&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/feeds/6714177862185627853/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/8817645039911674884/6714177862185627853' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/6714177862185627853'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/6714177862185627853'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/2012/05/stupid-video-guy-catches-on-fire.html' title='Stupid Video : Guy Catches On Fire'/><author><name>Unknown</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1o4ErOikn4hH7XD473BTpwe-jis_IdNCfcyu_VhGBy1LxFkRwjc_nZcXuYUNglcDwxSRDyPBeXlGmj5r0yr5fGFZ6wRDqPM-EjQ_FJG4uJn2B-Z-oyynTZv5GeFB79FB3CyLflBTFtBHH/s72-c/banana.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8817645039911674884.post-2350971363273102547</id><published>2012-04-29T04:27:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2012-04-29T04:27:32.987-07:00</updated><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Cinema Joke"/><title type='text'>Cinema Jokes</title><content type='html'>&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCCMwkPnte8rlWUI486n8zlCeqr1ddX0AjwOavx9jomKZfOSl6xBFCzbb12XSgPJs4HiSmrKsjDl4YA9gO795SgY-RjdIyYVeL504YUtnrpkCISASp6uvQl52dNir1cRsSVWcB2mrpVHpM/s1600/cinema_sombra_114925.jpg&quot; imageanchor=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;298&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCCMwkPnte8rlWUI486n8zlCeqr1ddX0AjwOavx9jomKZfOSl6xBFCzbb12XSgPJs4HiSmrKsjDl4YA9gO795SgY-RjdIyYVeL504YUtnrpkCISASp6uvQl52dNir1cRsSVWcB2mrpVHpM/s400/cinema_sombra_114925.jpg&quot; width=&quot;400&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I  usually do because it feels a little roomier.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Just as the feature was  about to start a baby boomer from the center of the row got up and  started working her way out. &quot;Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon  me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me.&quot;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
By the time she got to me I was trying to look around her and I was a  little impatient so I said, &quot;Couldn&#39;t you have done this a little  earlier?&quot; &quot;No!!&quot; she said in a loud whisper,&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&quot;The TURN OFF YOUR CELL  PHONE PLEASE message just flashed up on the screen and mine is out in  the car.&quot; &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/7wn49&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Source &lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Not enough ? Click here for more &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/7wn7v&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;cinema jokes&amp;nbsp;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/feeds/2350971363273102547/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/8817645039911674884/2350971363273102547' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/2350971363273102547'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/2350971363273102547'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/2012/04/cinema-jokes.html' title='Cinema Jokes'/><author><name>Unknown</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCCMwkPnte8rlWUI486n8zlCeqr1ddX0AjwOavx9jomKZfOSl6xBFCzbb12XSgPJs4HiSmrKsjDl4YA9gO795SgY-RjdIyYVeL504YUtnrpkCISASp6uvQl52dNir1cRsSVWcB2mrpVHpM/s72-c/cinema_sombra_114925.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8817645039911674884.post-340360086629057135</id><published>2012-03-16T16:58:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2012-03-16T16:58:56.153-07:00</updated><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="dino jokes"/><title type='text'>Dinosaur Jokes - 2nd</title><content type='html'>&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRvxpceOXpgPeilh0JVAFAlP6PQo35x-1heD6Ie3qZXZxTQRefD_4WaYl2BPt-e9hYO9i8m1hb0pkSwWj4gHzUJCQst7EI5qAwBDm7CjkJuMuCAk_es7P-mLg3sc1uDKAoidh_PIqy0ft5/s1600/Dinosaur-Scars-Children-For-Life.jpg&quot; imageanchor=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;216&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRvxpceOXpgPeilh0JVAFAlP6PQo35x-1heD6Ie3qZXZxTQRefD_4WaYl2BPt-e9hYO9i8m1hb0pkSwWj4gHzUJCQst7EI5qAwBDm7CjkJuMuCAk_es7P-mLg3sc1uDKAoidh_PIqy0ft5/s320/Dinosaur-Scars-Children-For-Life.jpg&quot; width=&quot;320&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Why did the Archaeopteryx catch the worm? &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;i&gt;Because it was an early bird!&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;i&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/span&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;What do you do   when a dinosaur sneezes? &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;i&gt;Get out of the way!&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;What do you call a   dinosaur wearing tight shoes? &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;i&gt;My-foot-is-saurus!&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;What do you get when   two dinosaurs collide? &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;i&gt;Tyrannosaurus wrecks!&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Why are there old dinosaur bones in  the museum?&lt;i&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Because they can&#39;t afford new ones!&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Receptionist: Doctor, there&#39;s an invisible dinosaur in the waiting room.&lt;i&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Doctor: Tell her I can&#39;t see her!&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Why did the dinosaur cross the road?&lt;i&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Because the chicken hadn&#39;t evolved yet!&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;What makes more noise that a dinosaur?&lt;i&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Two dinosaurs!&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;What does a Triceratops sit on?&lt;i&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
Its Tricera-bottom!&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/6N5iu&quot; style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Dino Jokes 1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;, &lt;/span&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/6N5n8&quot; style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Dino Jokes 2&lt;/a&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;, &lt;/span&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/6N5rs&quot; style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Dino Jokes3&lt;/a&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt; and &lt;/span&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/6N5yT&quot; style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Dino Jokes4&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/feeds/340360086629057135/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/8817645039911674884/340360086629057135' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/340360086629057135'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/340360086629057135'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/2012/03/dinosaur-jokes-2nd.html' title='Dinosaur Jokes - 2nd'/><author><name>Unknown</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRvxpceOXpgPeilh0JVAFAlP6PQo35x-1heD6Ie3qZXZxTQRefD_4WaYl2BPt-e9hYO9i8m1hb0pkSwWj4gHzUJCQst7EI5qAwBDm7CjkJuMuCAk_es7P-mLg3sc1uDKAoidh_PIqy0ft5/s72-c/Dinosaur-Scars-Children-For-Life.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8817645039911674884.post-1380434575358923804</id><published>2012-03-03T06:17:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2012-03-03T06:17:20.297-08:00</updated><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Last Dinosaurs"/><title type='text'>The Last Dinosaurs On Earth</title><content type='html'>&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRptk1cloAPyQVktZqOPUdFULw3MN35RiWa2gSrpPd5UmKqaSXROYPp3aE8XMnue2SiyQ02Yd20H6soyUmMFem7YRkAow7dMGU-YfEwNZBhiSWI1NZ3cAOPiKh7VA9nAE5z5LFJ6hUGUzu/s1600/dinasor.jpg&quot; imageanchor=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;320&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRptk1cloAPyQVktZqOPUdFULw3MN35RiWa2gSrpPd5UmKqaSXROYPp3aE8XMnue2SiyQ02Yd20H6soyUmMFem7YRkAow7dMGU-YfEwNZBhiSWI1NZ3cAOPiKh7VA9nAE5z5LFJ6hUGUzu/s320/dinasor.jpg&quot; width=&quot;282&quot; /&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Q: Why do museums have old dinosaur bones?&lt;br /&gt;
A: Because they can&#39;t afford new ones!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Q: What did Triceratops sit on?&lt;br /&gt;
A: Its Tricera-bottom!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;  &lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Q: What’s the best way to talk to a Velociraptor?&lt;br /&gt;
A: Long distance&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Q: Why did the T. Rex cross the road?&lt;br /&gt;
A1: Because chickens hadn&#39;t evolved yet!&lt;br /&gt;
A2: Because it was chasing a chicken.&lt;br /&gt;
A3: Because it was being chased by a chicken.&lt;br /&gt;
A4: Because it thought it was a chicken.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Q: How do you ask a tyrannosaur out to lunch?&lt;br /&gt;
A: &quot;Tea, Rex?&quot;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Q. What was 30 feet long, had a two-foot-long beak, and left crumbs all over the mattress?&lt;br /&gt;
A. Pretzelcoatlus!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Q: What do you call a blind Majungatholus?&lt;br /&gt;
A: Doyathinkhesaurus?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Q. What do you call a blind Majungatholus&#39; dog?&lt;br /&gt;
A. Doyouthinkhesaurus Rex.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Q: What’s better than a talking Vulcanodon?&lt;br /&gt;
A. A spelling bee!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Person 1: I keep seeing Pteranodons with orange polka dots.&lt;br /&gt;
Person 2: Have you seen an eye doctor yet?&lt;br /&gt;
Person 1: No, just Pteranodons with orange polka dots.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Q: How can you tell there&#39;s an Allosaurus in your bed?&lt;br /&gt;
A: By the bright red &quot;A&quot; on its pajamas.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Q: How can you tell there&#39;s a Stegosaurus in your refrigerator?&lt;br /&gt;
A: The door won&#39;t close!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Q: What family does Shantungosaurus belong to?&lt;br /&gt;
A. I don&#39;t know. I don&#39;t think any family in our neighborhood owns one!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Child 1: Hey, who stepped on your foot?&lt;br /&gt;
Child 2: Well, did you see that Gorgosaurus over there?&lt;br /&gt;
Child 1: Yes.&lt;br /&gt;
Child 2: Well, I didn&#39;t!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;  &lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Q: What has a prominent head crest, a duck-like bill, and sixteen wheels?&lt;br /&gt;
A: A Maiasaura on roller skates!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Q: Why did carnivorous dinosaurs eat raw meat?&lt;br /&gt;
A: Because they didn&#39;t know how to barbecue!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Q. How did the dinosaur stay dry in the rain?&lt;br /&gt;
A. He used a Parasololophus!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Q: What has sharp fangs and sticks to the roof of your mouth?&lt;br /&gt;
A. A peanut butter and Jeholopterus sandwich.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Q. What do you call a terrible, horrible, unpleasant dinosaur?&lt;br /&gt;
A. A Thesaurus.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Q. Why did the Bambiraptor say &quot;knock-knock?&quot;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
A. Because it was in the wrong joke.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Q: Why don&#39;t dinosaurs ever forget?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
A: Because they never knew anything in the first place!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Q. What happened when the Brachiosaurus took the train home?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
A. He had to bring it back!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Child 1: I lost my pet Iguanodon!&lt;br /&gt;
Child 2: Why don&#39;t you put an ad in the paper?&lt;br /&gt;
Child 1: What good would that do? He can&#39;t read!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Q: What&#39;s purple and green and won&#39;t stop singing?&lt;br /&gt;
A. Barney taking a shower!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Q. What do you say to a 10-ton Albertosaurus wearing earphones?&lt;br /&gt;
A. Whatever you want. He can&#39;t hear you!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Q. What did dinosaurs use to make their hot dogs?&lt;br /&gt;
A. Jurassic pork!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Q. What dinosaur could jump higher than a house?&lt;br /&gt;
A. All of them. Houses can&#39;t jump!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;Q. What should you do if you find a blue Dilophosaurus?&lt;br /&gt;
A. Try to cheer him up!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;More About Dinosaurs&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;lkbx&quot; style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/5xcZ1&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Dinosaurs A to Z – A Complete List of All the Dinosaurs that Ever Lived&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/5xceK&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Carnivorous Dinosaurs – A Complete List of All the Carnivorous Dinosaurs&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/5xcqM&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Herbivorous Dinosaurs – A Complete List of All the Herbivorous Dinosaurs&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;lkbx&quot; style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;&lt;h5&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: small;&quot;&gt;More Dinosaur Fun&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/h5&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/5xczN&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;10 Dinosaurs That Went Extinct Very, Very Quickly&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/5xczN&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;The Top 10 Fictional Dinosaurs&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/5xd60&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Dinosaur Haiku&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/li&gt;
&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/feeds/1380434575358923804/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/8817645039911674884/1380434575358923804' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/1380434575358923804'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/1380434575358923804'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/2012/03/last-dinosaurs-on-earth.html' title='The Last Dinosaurs On Earth'/><author><name>Unknown</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRptk1cloAPyQVktZqOPUdFULw3MN35RiWa2gSrpPd5UmKqaSXROYPp3aE8XMnue2SiyQ02Yd20H6soyUmMFem7YRkAow7dMGU-YfEwNZBhiSWI1NZ3cAOPiKh7VA9nAE5z5LFJ6hUGUzu/s72-c/dinasor.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8817645039911674884.post-8869600199804382124</id><published>2012-02-14T10:18:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2012-02-14T10:18:04.397-08:00</updated><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Filipino joke"/><title type='text'>The Filipino Wal-Mart Employee Joke</title><content type='html'>&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYnLHxkArff0zn8dY8YgIYLLqap096y6p9_5m35I2KfPGZb6Aw-eEEh07ZbFgN4Fl2VGuPGktO23GY6ZdnqWdf07z8fVI2OyDaMvFBqR32L9Ao58D752niB1QjhG6CquJihDC815LBKPc8/s1600/WALMART.png&quot; imageanchor=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;256&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYnLHxkArff0zn8dY8YgIYLLqap096y6p9_5m35I2KfPGZb6Aw-eEEh07ZbFgN4Fl2VGuPGktO23GY6ZdnqWdf07z8fVI2OyDaMvFBqR32L9Ao58D752niB1QjhG6CquJihDC815LBKPc8/s320/WALMART.png&quot; width=&quot;320&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;A Filipino Applies for a Job at Wal-Mart..&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual to&lt;br /&gt;
fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four&lt;br /&gt;
people who were equally qualified –an American, a Russian, an Australian&lt;br /&gt;
and a Filipino..&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer&lt;br /&gt;
would determine who of them would get the job.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;&lt;span id=&quot;more-250&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the&lt;br /&gt;
interviewer asked, ‘What is the fastest thing you know?’&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;Dave, the American, replied, ‘A THOUGHT’ It just pops into your head.&lt;br /&gt;
There’s no warning that it’s on the way; it’s just there. A thought is the&lt;br /&gt;
fastest thing I know of.’&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;‘That’s very good!’&lt;br /&gt;
replied the interviewer.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;‘And now you sir?’ he asked Vladimir , the Russian.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;‘Hmm…. let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don’t know that it&lt;br /&gt;
ever happened.A BLINK is the fastest thing I know.’&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;‘Excellent!’ said the interviewer. ‘The blink of an eye, that’s a very&lt;br /&gt;
popular cliche for speed.’&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating his reply.&lt;br /&gt;
‘Well, out at my dad’s ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall&lt;br /&gt;
there’s a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the&lt;br /&gt;
pasture the light in the barn comes on. Yep,TURNING ON A LIGHT is the&lt;br /&gt;
fastest thing I can think of.’&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had&lt;br /&gt;
found his man. ‘It’s hard to beat the speed of light’ he said.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;Turning to Eleuterio, the Filipino, the fourth and final man, the  interviewer posed the same question. Eleuterio replied, ‘Apter herring  da 3 preybyus ansers sir, et’s obyus to me dat the pastest thing is  Diarrhea.’ ‘What?! ‘said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The  others were already giggling in their seats…&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;‘Oh, I can expleyn sir,.’ said Eleuterio. ‘ You see, sir, da ader day my&lt;br /&gt;
tummy was peeling bad and so I run so fast to the CR, but before I could&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, by golly! I had alreydi shit in my pants!’&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;Eleuterio is now the new ‘Greeter’ at Wal-Mart!&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;For more joke , &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/5U7LL&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;Visit us&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif; text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: justify;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: Georgia,&amp;quot;Times New Roman&amp;quot;,serif;&quot;&gt;More Joke on Filipino &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/5U7YM&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;A&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href=&quot;http://adf.ly/5U7dc&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;B&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;, C &amp;amp; D&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/feeds/8869600199804382124/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/8817645039911674884/8869600199804382124' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/8869600199804382124'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/8869600199804382124'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/2012/02/filipino-wal-mart-employee-joke.html' title='The Filipino Wal-Mart Employee Joke'/><author><name>Unknown</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYnLHxkArff0zn8dY8YgIYLLqap096y6p9_5m35I2KfPGZb6Aw-eEEh07ZbFgN4Fl2VGuPGktO23GY6ZdnqWdf07z8fVI2OyDaMvFBqR32L9Ao58D752niB1QjhG6CquJihDC815LBKPc8/s72-c/WALMART.png" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8817645039911674884.post-3848185579926493966</id><published>2012-01-22T16:05:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2012-01-22T16:05:09.199-08:00</updated><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="dirty mind"/><title type='text'>Please Answer Below Question</title><content type='html'>&lt;!--[if gte mso 9]&gt;&lt;xml&gt;  &lt;w:WordDocument&gt;   &lt;w:View&gt;Normal&lt;/w:View&gt;   &lt;w:Zoom&gt;0&lt;/w:Zoom&gt;   &lt;w:DoNotOptimizeForBrowser/&gt;  &lt;/w:WordDocument&gt; &lt;/xml&gt;&lt;![endif]--&gt;  &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;div class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: large;&quot;&gt;Ok Guys Answers The Question:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
How fast can you guess these words?&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span style=&quot;font-size: large;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1. F_ _K&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span style=&quot;font-size: large;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
2. PU_S_&lt;br /&gt;
3. S_X&lt;br /&gt;
4. P_N_S&lt;br /&gt;
5. BOO_S&lt;br /&gt;
6. _ _NDOM&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Answers:&lt;/span&gt;  &lt;span style=&quot;font-size: large;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1. FORK&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span style=&quot;font-size: large;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
2. PULSE&lt;br /&gt;
3. SIX&lt;br /&gt;
4. PANTS&lt;br /&gt;
5. BOOKS&lt;br /&gt;
6. RANDOM&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Message : Are you got all 6 wrong answers.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: large;&quot;&gt;Glad to see your dirty mind! =)&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;separator&quot; style=&quot;clear: both; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbOhzE6bZ5sNbAL8ynRarB6Q0J3KwmhnMANlSo2TOtGjSr7x9z2YYuSM_euNe1Qrku5yCsW_VvLtgpBNTQvsrSZC4xw5n9scq5t5NxLS834LsL5aHdd5F5CwMqUtf2T-p6D1tBdu2EfKED/s1600/dirty-mind.jpg&quot; imageanchor=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;&quot;&gt;&lt;img border=&quot;0&quot; height=&quot;293&quot; src=&quot;https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbOhzE6bZ5sNbAL8ynRarB6Q0J3KwmhnMANlSo2TOtGjSr7x9z2YYuSM_euNe1Qrku5yCsW_VvLtgpBNTQvsrSZC4xw5n9scq5t5NxLS834LsL5aHdd5F5CwMqUtf2T-p6D1tBdu2EfKED/s400/dirty-mind.jpg&quot; width=&quot;400&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: large;&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/feeds/3848185579926493966/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/8817645039911674884/3848185579926493966' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/3848185579926493966'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/8817645039911674884/posts/default/3848185579926493966'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://todayjokeshits.blogspot.com/2012/01/please-answer-below-question.html' title='Please Answer Below Question'/><author><name>Unknown</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='https://img1.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbOhzE6bZ5sNbAL8ynRarB6Q0J3KwmhnMANlSo2TOtGjSr7x9z2YYuSM_euNe1Qrku5yCsW_VvLtgpBNTQvsrSZC4xw5n9scq5t5NxLS834LsL5aHdd5F5CwMqUtf2T-p6D1tBdu2EfKED/s72-c/dirty-mind.jpg" height="72" width="72"/><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry></feed>