Today's Hullabaloo

Who are the Injustice Collectors in your life?

2013-12-12T13:58:00.000-05:00

I work on a college campus and recently attended a mandatory employee training about what to do in an Active Shooter situation. The term Active Shooter means that someone is actively shooting people at a location. Scary as that may sound it was a great training. I believe that being prepared is essential to surviving any situation especially one where my life could be in danger.

During the presentation, I learned a term that I had never heard before. One that instantly peaked my interest. At one point during the video that we watched, an FBI agent gave tips on how to identify a potential “shooter.” Across the screen flashed pictures of all the recent, and notorious, shooters that have caused irrevocable damage on campuses, in malls, in schools, and elsewhere. The agent said that these shooters had one thing in common: they were injustice collectors. Immediately my curiosity was peaked.

Without even looking up the term “injustice collector,” I perceived that it meant it was someone who collected all the injustices done to them in their mind like a hoarder does things. I couldn’t help but wonder why someone would do this? Can’t people let things go? And then I thought about my own life and the people around me and the answer to that question is: NO. Some people cannot let things go. Some people walk around with the weight of the world on their shoulders convinced that everyone is out to get them. They think that people are constantly talking behind their backs; they think that bad things happen to them because the universe is out to get them; they think that everyone else is creating drama in their life when actually it is them.

After doing some quick Google searches I found numerous articles about injustice collectors and learned that they are narcissists. We all are familiar with narcissism – you either are one or know one, that’s a fact. I wondered, are all narcissists’ injustice collectors who will end up shooting up people? I found out that is not the case but narcissists and injustice collectors do create most of the drama in the world (politicians are a great example) and I think that if we understand where these people are coming from that maybe lives can be saved, or at the very least your relationships can be saved.

Here is a list of Characteristics of Injustice Collectors as identified by Mark Sichel, LCSW*:

Injustice Collectors are convinced that they are never wrong. How is it possible that they are never wrong? It is simple: They are always right.
Injustice Collectors never apologize. Ever. For anything.
Injustice Collectors truly believe that they are morally and ethically superior to others and that others chronically do not hold themselves to the same high standards as the injustice collector does.
Injustice Collectors make the rules, break the rules and enforce the rules of the family. They are a combined legislator, police, and judge and jury of
Injustice Collectors never worry about what is wrong with themselves as their “bad list” grows. Their focus is always on the failings of others.
Injustice Collectors are never upset by the disparity of their rules for others with their own expectations of themselves.
Injustice Collectors rationalize their own behavior with great ease and comfort.

*http://www.psybersquare.com/family/family_injustice.html

I think that to some degree we all have a tendency to collect injustices in our mind as a way to protect ourselves. In fact, I read an article that said we have been doing that since the dawn of time as a means for survival. Here’s the article: Psychology Today.

However, people with a high degree of injustice hoarding can really make life miserable for the rest of population that is willing to let things go and move on. One thing about injustice collectors is that all they are doing is avoiding responsibility for their own circumstances. Rather than say, yes I screwed up, or yes my boss didn’t give me a raise because I’m not working as hard as I could, or yes I know I hurt your feelings and I’m sorry, an injustice collector will turn the table around and make you look like the bad person for feeling hurt or not giving the raise. These people can be very convincing and are very skilled at turning the tables around and making “normal” people question their own sanity.

There is a saying that I love, - Living with resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. In other words, remaining angry or being spiteful only hurts yourself in the long run. This is what injustice collectors do. They drink the poison and try to spit it out at everyone else. How thick is your skin? The only problem is, that by allowing injustice collectors to continue spewing their poison, we, as a society, are ultimately encouraging the creation of Active Shooters. And, while this term was coined mainly to help understand why people commit mass shootings, it also applies to those who won’t take to the gun to “find justice” but will use their mouths to hurt others. These people will continue to hurt others by breaking up relationships with family, friends, and coworkers. Are you willing to keep allowing that to happen?

Unfortunately, I did not find any articles on how to help those people who are injustice collectors other than that they need professional help. Knowing this term may help you, especially if you are an educator, to spot people who may be hoarding injustices and help them understand that they need help learning how to let them go and move on.

For more information on understanding Injustice Collectors, please click the links within this article, including this one: The Temptations of the Injustice Collector.

Letter to Gmail

2013-08-06T09:25:00.001-04:00

Dearest Gmail Geniuses:

Thank you so much for your recent changes to Gmail. I have, or had, so much time on my hands that now having to check five different inboxes, just to make sure I don’t miss an important email, keeps me busy. What geniuses you are to come up with Social Media tab and a Promotion Tab and a Primary Tab? Lest I forget, the “Priority” inbox and Spam box! I mean, you guys, or gals, are simply the organizational KINGS, or QUEENS. How did I ever manage when my emails were all lumped into one or two boxes?

Oh and that awesome color coded “block” system for organizing my messages? SO damn helpful. How the heck did I ever find messages before? I didn’t realize what a freaking idiot I actually was before you changed to this system. I’m not sure what aspect is the best, the colors or the fact that you capitalize the first letter of the sender. Seriously, how do you people come up with these things? You are masterminds! Because clutter in my email is exactly what I have been waiting for all of my life!

What would I ever do without you Gmail?

Love,

Kathy

P.S. In case it isn’t clear -this is sarcastic. The new system sucks, to say the least.

97 seconds

2013-07-16T13:08:00.001-04:00

Someone wrote that when people read a blog that the amount of time they spend reading it is….97 seconds. After that, anything your write looks like blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

How does he know that? How many people did he have to watch read blogs to get this data? People have a lot of time on their hands, I suppose. I will say this, in terms of marketing a business it makes sense. Not to mention 97 seconds is a lot longer than you think. Go ahead and clock yourself while reading a blog, I just did. It’s enough time to easily read a 400 word blog. And this really, was his point -to keep your blogs short so people will read them and not suddenly start to hear the Peanuts teacher in their mind. It makes sense from a business standpoint. When we are reading online, we are looking for information and we want it fast.

So, I’ve got 97 seconds of your time. How will I take advantage of that?

Let’s brainstorm this. I asked some of my Facebook friends what they could do with 97 seconds and here is what they, and I, came up with,

1. Heat up a piece of pizza in the microwave - Me

2. Make dinner reservations – Robin M.

3. Have sex - Cheryl

4. Open a “can of worms” sometimes in less than 60 seconds if it’s on Facebook. –Robin P.

5. Read your post 46 times and still have the same blank stare. -Alec

6. Spend money, pay bills - Sandra

7. Gargle with mouthwash – Stacey

8. Come up with 90 reasons why I would rather be at the beach than at work right now! -Wendy

9. Make coffee, put in a load of laundry, scream at my kids –Cheryl (and I think she meant all of that in the 97 seconds.)

10. Fall asleep. – Tony

11. Make a batch of frozen margaritas. – Wendy

12. Enjoy savasana – Me

13. Fall into a frozen river, OR fall down a mountain and sprain an ankle. -Tony (he speaks from experience. )

Well there you go. I suppose #14 would be Read Kathy’s Blog!

All I know is that in 97 seconds, if you are like me, you will most likely forget what you just read. Although, last week I wrote a blog about a blog that said success =luck…...I’m still thinking about that one.

Thanks for reading all the way to the end!

And no, you can never get these 97 seconds back.

(if you have any other interesting ideas with what to do with 97 seconds please post in the comment area below. I'd love to hear what you come up with!)

What is luck? And do you need it in order to succeed?

2013-07-10T12:19:00.000-04:00

Luck. What is luck? And do you need it in order to succeed?

Lately, I’ve been feeling a little bit like Mike Wazowski (yes, Monster’s University reference –don’t judge). As a young monster, Mike decides that he wants to be a scaring monster when he grows up. He works hard, has tenacity and gets all A’s. But all of that wasn’t enough. He simply wasn’t scary. The line in the movie that really got to me was: “I’ve done everything right but it wasn’t enough.” Boy, can I relate to that.

This morning while scrolling through my Twitter feed I came across a blog where the writer said that success often relies heavily of luck. I can’t get that line out of my head and have spent the entire morning trying to think of a way to prove her wrong.

Am I lucky to have obtained my college degree? No, I worked hard to get that. Am I lucky to have been at stay-at-home mom? No, I worked hard to make that happen and made many sacrifices. Luck had nothing to do with those successes. I made them happen, or did I?

Definition of Luck: Success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one's own actions.

How is someone supposed to obtain success if they don’t have any part of it (actions)? This notion of "stop trying" and “It” will happen sounds so easy and yet there has to be some amount of trying going on in order for anything to happen, right?

I always thought success was the product of hard work, determination, a sprinkle of tenacity all along with an intense desire to achieve something. This belief system has been the cornerstone of everything I’ve done in my life and yet, it isn’t working for me right now. I am beginning to think that wanting something so badly doesn’t mean you are destined to achieve that thing. I think I now know why. It’s because I am unlucky.

Sure, I have a lot to be grateful for in my life. I have had many successes! However, after many years of writing, taking classes, being determined to become a better writer I feel as if I am getting nowhere. I am that gerbil on the wheel running and running but remaining in the same spot when I get off the wheel.

I can’t help but think that perhaps that blogger is right. Maybe luck has everything to do with success. That is, if luck means that you were born to do something. Maybe I'm like Mike Wazowski who wasn’t naturally born scary. No amount of determination would turn him into something he was not. Maybe it's not enough to want something. Perhaps I am simply not lucky enough to be have been born a “natural” writer.

What do you think? Does luck have anything to do with success? Can you have success without luck?

Please leave a comment below and let me know what you think!

Paula Deen racist or not?

2013-06-29T10:43:00.001-04:00

Paula Deen has been singled out and branded as a racist. Not only that but she has had her career ruined because of a comment she made in private 26 years ago. Paula Deen isn’t my favorite celebrity chef but I really do feel bad for what she is being put through right now. This entire story is so ridiculous. I also can't believe how quickly someone can be taken down by another person with malicious intent.

Deen confessed to using a racial slur during a recent deposition for a lawsuit in which she is being sued by a woman named Lisa Jackson. This woman is suing Deen for racial and sexual harassment. A case that, in my humble opinion, is completely bogus. Anyway, in this deposition the lawyer for Jackson asked Deen if she had ever, in her life, used a racial slur. Deen replied yes. She explained that she might have used the N-word to describe a man who held a gun to her head, 26 years ago. She admitted using the word when speaking privately, in her home, to her then husband about the incident. And, THIS is why these retailers are dropping her.

Retailers like QVC, Home Depot, Target, Sears, Kmart, Wal-Mart, Smithfield Foods, and Caesars Entertainment have all severed ties with Deen. Not to mention, the Food Network who also has dropped Ms. Deen. The Food Network is the most disturbing to me. You’d think that they would stand by someone like Paula Deen, at least until the truth is sorted out.

I’m pretty sure I’ve said the word before in some sort of context. Never to another person, but I’ve have uttered the word when telling a story about a news story, or a movie, or this scandal. Does that make me a racist? Absolutely not. Don’t get me wrong, I do not like the N-word. I know the meaning and history behind it but really, it’s just a word. It has meaning only if you let it.

These retailers have dropped her faster than Aaron Hernández was dropped by the Patriot’s, which was pretty fast once he was arrested. I wonder if they even took the time to check into the validity of the allegations. I mean, if this logic were used all the time these retailers wouldn’t sell NFL, NHL, NBA, MLB merchandise because of the players on those teams who are trouble with the law. They might as well stop selling all DVD’s too because actors and actresses are constantly in trouble with law and doing stupid things. Oh, and what about music! They might as well stop selling CD’s too what with all of the racial slurs in songs, not to mention drugs some artist do. What, that’s not the same thing? I call bullshit on that.

If all of us could be fired for things we did in the past or said in private, we would all be jobless. I understand a company not wanting a spokesperson who is in trouble with the law or a blatant racist, but Paula Deen isn’t. Perhaps she shouldn’t have been so honest. I’d guess that Paula Deen may have a really great case for defamation.

Uni-Name Revulsion

2013-06-21T14:14:00.000-04:00

The uni-name is as bad as a uni-brow and should be eliminated from existence forever. Not only that but whoever came up with the idea to combine celebrity couple’s names should be sent to an underground prison forced to live with snakes and spiders for the rest of their life.

You may or may not remember that it all started way back when Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez were dating. Remember Bennifer? Just the sound of it makes me want to barf and it has nothing to do with my loathing for Affleck. If I’m being truthful, when I heard they were breaking up I got a little excited only because I knew it meant I wouldn’t be bombard with stories about “Bennifer” every damn day on the news.

Then along came, Brangelina. Oh, how cute. NOT!

What I want to know, in addition to who started this stupid trend, but who decides who is worthy of a uni-name? Is it based on popularity, social status, or net-worth? I mean, Justin Beiber and Selena Gomez didn’t get a uni-name. There was no Gober or Jussel. And how do people like Prince William and Kate avoid the uni-name? How come we don’t hear about a about Willate? Are they not worthy of a uni-name? If they aren’t than no one is. Especially Kimye ( the Kim Kardashian and Kanye West uni-name). Why them and not Will and Kate? I don’t know it all seems a little fishy and a tad discriminatory.

If every couple can’t have a uni-name then no couple should. Right? I don’t know, maybe I’m just jealous that I don’t have one. Hmm, let’s see we’d be Kathony. Ok, it’s scary how good that sounds. Feel free to steal it if you are also Kathy and Tony because I can assure you that we will NOT be going around referring to ourselves as Kathony.

All I know is that if I have to march down to GMA or the Today show to punch someone in the nose for using Kimye or Brangelina one more time, I will. Who’s coming with me?

A Lefty girl in a Righty World

2013-06-17T16:18:00.000-04:00

(This is a recycled post. I thought it was fitting because my father's birthday is tomorrow and I really miss him teasing me about my left-handedness. Happy Birthday Dad!)

I’ve been a lefty my whole life. Shocking, I know.

It’s funny how people react when they see you writing or throwing a ball with your left hand. Often I hear, “Oh my gosh! I didn’t know YOU were a lefty!” or “Wow, you’re left handed? Really?” as if it is a disease or something. It might surprise you to realize that I can do everything a right handed person can (and I think I do it better).

My Dad, who loved to tease, always had fun with my left-handedness. Some of his favorite sayings:

“You’re using the wrong hand.”

“Hey, you’re doing that backwards.”

“Is that food going to taste funny because it was made by a lefty?”

Yes, he thought he was funny.

One morning, on Tony’s birthday, I made the coffee. This normally is his “job” because he is usually up first. When he came downstairs he was sleepy eyed and shuffling his way through the kitchen over to the coffee pot. He stood in front of the coffee pot for a second then exclaimed, “Now THIS is one of my pet peeves!” He was referring to the fact that the coffee pot was turned “backwards.” I had poured a cup and had the nerve leave the handle on the left side!

I stood there and stared at him in awe. Did he just say what I thought he said? We have been a couple for 22 years, have I NEVER left the coffee pot this way or is he just particularly annoyed about it because it is his birthday? My mouth hung open. I just didn’t know what to say. Right handed people are so inflexible.

I have spent my entire life adapting to a righty world. Nothing is built for a lefty. Here, let me show you what I mean:

I need to scissors upside down so that they work for me.

When I use “righty” only ladles, I spill punch everywhere.

I make my check marks backwards (that one always throws people for a loop!)

I couldn’t teach the kids how to tie their shoes (I do it “backwards”).

I can’t teach my girls to braid because I do it backwards.

I wear my watch on “the wrong” wrist.

Since I write with my left hand, my arm smudges the ink as I move along on the page.

I have to make sure when I sit in a booth in a restaurant that I am on the left so I don’t’ bump elbows with my boothmate.

I hated high school and college because all of the desks were designed for righties!

Hand-held can openers are the worst- I have to twist all around just to make it work.

Camera shutters on the right. I mean, the list goes ON AND ON.

Never mind that every morning I have to turn the coffee pot around!

If you read up on left-handedness some pretty interesting things come up. Here are a few tidbits that I find to be fascinating:

In ancient times, if you were a lefty, you were considered EVIL

The French word for left is “gauche” with means clumsy, graceless or awkward.

Hand orientation is developed in fetuses.

Twins theory (this one sounds a little too crazy to be true) Left handed individuals are originally part of an identical twin pair, with the right handed twin fetus failing to develop in early development.

The Right hemisphere of the brain controls the left half of the body.

The Geschwind theory, named after a neurologist who proposed it, Norman Geschwind, suggest that variations in levels of testosterone during pregnancy shape the development of the fetal brain. Testosterone suppresses the growth of the left part of the brain so more neurons migrate to the right.

A lot of U.S. President’s are/were lefty’s: James Garfield, Herbert Hoover, Harry S. Truman, Gerald Ford, Ronald Regan, George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, and Barack Obama.

My grandfather’s second wife, Nora, had been left handed when she was a girl but the Nun’s beat her left hand every time she used it, and because of this her left hand was all mangled, and she was forced to use her right hand. She used to tell me stories of how nasty those Nun’s were to her, calling her Evil for being left handed. I suppose I am grateful that my penmanship teacher only gave me a C-. See, I’m not an over the top lefty. My lefty Godmother, Barbara, taught me how to write the proper way. She didn’t want me to write with my hand all curled up over my paper so she taught me how to turn the paper to accommodate my hand. My penmanship teacher in second grade did not like this. She fought with me to turn my paper to the right, but the stubborn girl in me smiled politely and did it my way instead. She gave me C-‘s in penmanship because of it.

I still don't have the best penmanship, but that's ok. I love being a lefty because it makes me feel special. As for Tony, he is just going to have to learn to adapt to the lefty handed coffee pot!

HUG A LEFTY TODAY!

Fast Metabolism Round Up

2013-05-21T16:10:00.001-04:00

Just a quick blog to let you know how I finished with the Fast Metabolism Diet.

I did three solid weeks of following the plan exactly and then it was Mother’s Day, which meant, I ate anything I wanted and yes, that included cheesecake. On my fourth weigh in day (the Monday after Mother’s Day) I had maintained my 5.5 weight loss from my first week. After my weekend of eating what I wanted, I was pretty excited about that.

I intended on finishing my four weeks, but lost steam and ultimately quit. Phase 2 did me in. Now, here’s the thing, I don’t regret one minute. Today, on what would be week 5, I am still holding steady at my 5.5 lb weight loss and everything fits me better. Finally, after years, of being so disgusted with myself I feel great!

The Fast Metabolism Diet works, plain and simple. I may have only lost 5 lbs BUT have learned how to love food again, to eat healthier and smarter, and now have the tools I need to live a healthier life. Here’s what I’ve learned:

- I know now that starving myself in order to eat a big meal later will only cause weight gain.

- I know that drinking half my body weight in water every day works to keep me not only feeling fuller longer, but to help eliminate bloating.

- I know now that wheat causes bloating, joint pain, headaches, and an overall feeling of BLAH and will continue to stay away from it as much as possible.

- I know now that I like Almond Butter

- I know now that I will never eat another piece of Turkey Jerky ever again. YUCK.

- I know now that I don’t have to work out five times a week to get the results I want.

- I know now that eating FAT helps BURN FAT – that by eliminating all Fat Free and Low Fat anything from my life will actually help me be skinnier! It’s true!

So, I will keep the book on hand and do another round of the diet if I ever feel I need it. The plan really works.

P.S. I have heard about another plan called Carb Cycling that is very similar to the FMD but allows dairy in the plan. So, if you are thinking about trying FMD but really love dairy check out Chris Powell’s Carb Cycling plan.

Days 11-14

2013-05-06T15:46:00.003-04:00

I’m still here and still plugging along with the Fast Metabolism Diet. The first week I lost about 4 lbs and was utterly thrilled with that loss. However, week two brought a whole lot of nothing in terms of weight loss. On Monday I lost another 1.5 lbs and then the scale didn’t budge all week. I am hanging steady at 5.5 lbs. And, no, I didn’t lose inches instead.

Boredom has set it. Granted, I am the type of person who gets bored very easily. I loathe repetition of any kind. So, this repeated rotation thing is testing me. Phase 2 is the most boring. There isn't anything on those food lists that are interesting.

I think my lack of weight loss in week 2 has a lot to do with my boredom factor. If I had lost I would be more motivated, but with no loss I began to question if it was worth it to keep going. Not only that, but hell, if the scale ain’t budging then why not have a glass, or two, of wine? So I did.

I won’t bore you with the food menus from last week but will say this. I made so many mistakes last week. I ate the wrong foods on the wrong days and I ate foods that weren’t on the list at all. It was frustrating. However, I just kept going. Even at the conference I went to on Saturday, I was able to stay on track by packing snacks. I felt a little proud of myself for that. Then, I rewarded myself with wine and going out to dinner on Sunday. Oh well. The good news is that the scale stayed the same for my Monday weigh in and didn't go up! Yay me!

Now I’m in week 3 and have decided to keep going. I have my meal map for the week and will press on for another week. (I am determined to lose these last 5 lbs, if you can’t tell.)

I’m hoping I can push past this plateau and see some big changes.

One big change that has occurred is my view on food. I see now how much crap is in the food we eat. Why does bread have high fructose corn syrup in it? If I made a loaf of bread at home I wouldn’t use it, so why do manufacturers? We wonder why we are overweight but it’s because we really don’t know what we are eating. We think we are doing it all right because that’s what mfg’s have fooled us into thinking.

This week I may make a trip out to Whole Food’s to get inspired. I just wish it wasn’t so far away….

Week 2 - Days 8-9 - Phase 1

2013-05-01T09:29:00.001-04:00

Fast Metabolism Diet week 2

On Sunday I spent an hour mapping out my week before I went grocery shopping. The task, although time consuming, is so worth it. I have every meal and snack planned for the week so I can simply move about my day without stressing about what to eat.

I woke up on Monday with a total weight loss for the week of only 3.5 lbs. Now, I went up a little over the weekend, no sure why and frankly am a little pissed about it. I mean, I gave up my cocktails! However when I really think about it, 3.5 lbs in one week is HUGE, at least for me. So, I chose to change my mindset and rather than say it’s not enough, I am thrilled to have seen a loss at all!

Monday

I was a little worried to repeat this phase. Last week I was less than thrilled with it. It is labeled the “Unwind” phase and supposedly is the phase that “calms” your body. Except I feel anything but calm on this phase. I feel darn right angry! But, I told myself “It’s only 2 days. You can do this.”

For breakfast I decided to try the oatmeal and berry smoothie again this week. I bought steel cut oats (unprepared as opposed to the prepared oats I used last week which resulted in a smoothing that was more like throw up…but I digress). However….even after grinding the oats to a powder as directed, it was still very “seedy”. I will not be making it again.

At snack I had a cup of frozen pineapple.

For lunch I had the opened faced turkey sandwich on sprouted grain bread. This time I added Dijon mustard, lettuce, tomato, and onion.

At Snack I had a cup of cantaloupe.

And finally dinner was chicken sausage with rice pasta and tons of veggies. Basically it was a pasta primevara on steroids. It was my first time using rice pasta and frankly, I don’t get it. Other than the lack of wheat I don’t understand what the health benefit is. The nutritional values are exactly the same as semolina pasta. After these 28 days are over, I won’t be rushing to use it. If I’m splurging on pasta, it’s going to be the real thing.

Overall, I wasn’t as angry and fidgety as last week but still felt anxious all day. I wish I knew why that is.

Tuesday

Woke up today and weighed in: down 1 more lb. I’ll take it.

Breakfast: I had the strawberry French toast. I won’t say it’s awesome but it is good…enough.

After breakfast, I worked out. I did a high intensity cardio workout. I SO needed that ass kicking. It felt good to sweat!

I almost forgot to eat my snack in the morning too because I was feeling so great from my workout however, I ate one large grapefruit. It was the perfect snack post workout!

At lunch I ate a cup of the leftover chicken sausage pasta from last night. It tasted better today, maybe because I wasn’t as starved as last night when I ate it.

After lunch I was plagued with the “hungries”. MY stomach growled all afternoon and with each passing hour, my mood deteriorated. For snack I ate an apple but it was enough so I blended frozen pineapple, strawberries, and ice and made a ice smoothie. That helped get me through the afternoon but I could NOT wait to eat dinner.

Dinner consisted of 4 oz of pork tenderloin, broccoli, and Quinoa. I felt very satisfied after dinner and my mood stabilized.

Truth….after dinner I cheated. I met with my writer friend and had a coffee drink. And by drink…I mean with liquor in it. It tasted really good! Honestly, there wasn’t much alcohol in it at all so I don’t feel it was THAT big of a cheat.

On to phase 2 tomorrow! Total weigh loss so far: 4.5

Phase 3 - Fri-Sun Fast Met Diet

2013-04-29T12:52:00.002-04:00

Today's post is three days worth of journals. I will post a few at time like this so that I don't overload your inboxes.

Day 5

Oh how I’ve waited for Phase three! I couldn’t even wait to get my breakfast that I skipped the coffee and got right to it!

For breakfast I had a slice of sprouted grain bread (which I really like), with almond butter (not my beloved peanut butter but not a bad substitute!). I savored each and every bite! Pre-FMD I ate toast with peanut butter 4 out of seven days (the other days were opened faced egg white and cheese sandwiches) and so this was heaven for me. I then had some blueberries and strawberries. I don’t think berries have ever tasted sweeter! I followed Haylie’s rule about having a veggie at breakfast and had…..cucumbers. My daughters laughed and honestly, I didn’t blame them: it is odd. But, surprisingly, I didn’t mind it.

Now, I didn’t read this until after lunch, but this phase you are expected to have a surge of energy. And let me tell you, she ain’t lying! I had so much energy that I flew around the house getting things done, edited a story, wrote a little bit and almost forgot to eat my snack!

For snack, I had raw almonds and a pear. I like roast almonds much better. Let’s just leave it at that.

For lunch, I repeated my beloved romaine lettuce sandwiches except this time I used deli turkey. Also, because I can now have fat I added a little pesto that I had left over in the fridge, onion, tomato, cilantro (loving this one these sandwiches!), and then slices of avocado. Let me tell you, that I savored every bite because it was ridiculously delicious. This will be my go to lunch from now on, hands down.

For snack, I ate hummus and cut up red pepper, celery, and cucumbers.

At dinner I cheated just a little. I used some Trader Joe’s freezer items but they totally fit into the program so no worries! I had fish with a sweet potato, pepper, carrot and kale Quinoa.

All in all this day, food wise was great! And holy crap! my energy was WAY up too as was my overall mood. I can’t wait for tomorrow!

Ok, weight loss. I weighed when I got dressed so about two hours after I woke up. I was down another 1.4 lbs! A total weight loss in four days of the program of…..3.8 lbs! Again, this number may seem small but remember it’s in four days. I’m averaging .95lbs a day! And compared to what I lost on other plans this is incredible. I only want to lose 10 pounds and would be ECSTATIC with 15 (that would put me at my wedding weight and that was almost 17 years ago.).

I have never said this but I CAN NOT WAIT TO GET ON THE SCALE TOMORROW!!

___________________________

Day 6- Saturday

I’ve got to admit, I woke up a little worried about the day. Weekends are usually my weakness (cocktails with friends, take out, dinner out etc) and so I knew that sticking on plan would take a lot of willpower.

I weighed myself first thing, only down .6 lbs. So, that in of itself gave me the motivation to stay on plan. I keep telling myself that ANYTHING can be done for 30 days (in this case 28) if I make the commitment.

For breakfast I had sprouted grain toast, a whole egg with extra egg whites fried (and by fried I mean in a non-stick skillet with no butter or oil) with onion tomato and slices of avocado on top. It was really yummy! I also had some strawberries and then learned later that they aren’t Phase 3 appropriate, oops. Oh well….

Snack consisted of celery with nut butter. Gotta love nut butter!

Lunch was a big salad with 4 oz of tuna, olive oil and balsamic.

My afternoon snack was about an hour late but I didn’t feel hungry. I almost skipped it but knew that was a huge no no, so I made some guacamole and had it with cucumbers, carrots, and some rice crackers. Again, probably wasn’t supposed to have the rice crackers but they tasted so good!

Dinner was a huge challenge. The family wanted pizza and I didn’t really have anything for me to eat. Very poor planning on my part. I thought I would go to the grocery store during the day but didn’t get there. I ate some left over turkey chili, which was only about a half a cup and then totally caved and had 2 buffalo chicken tenders that my husband had. I didn’t eat any veggies with dinner. The food wasn’t enough, I know that but I didn’t want to have a piece of pizza, which took so much willpower not to eat. And, I was so sick of cucumbers an carrots. So, I just walked away…The family went out to do an errand and then everyone, except me, got ice cream. It wasn’t hard to say no to that because I don’t really love ice cream, I can take it or leave it.

Overall, I felt really great about the day but knew that I made a few mistakes, however, I didn’t feel it was anything too major. I’m down 4.4lbs and feeling really great about that.

Phase 3 is great so far!

________________________________-

Day 7 – Sunday

I woke up today and weighed myself right away. I was hoping to see a number I hadn’t seen in a while. However, I gained. It’s only .6 lbs but it’s still a gain. I ALWAYS gain weight on the weekends but usually attribute it to the cocktails and take out. However, I didn’t do either yesterday. Aside from the 2 buffalo tenders, which I know were a huge no no, I can’t imagine what would have caused the gain. I feel discouraged and yet strangely more determined to get through the day so I can begin Phase 1 tomorrow and see weight loss again!

I started the day with toast with nut butter with blueberries on top. OMG, so good. Then, I reluctantly ate my veggie…carrots.

I did some yoga to help detoxify my body. My thought is that part of the gain may be the buildup of toxins in my body that need to be released and as Haylie said, this phase needs some sort of detoxifying exercise. So, I chose a detoxifying yoga. I forgot how much I loved yoga! I use a site called Yogaglo.com, it’s awesome, you should check it out!

Snack was almonds with a pear.

For lunch, I had a big salad with olive oil and balsamic vinegar and a heaping helping of legumes. It was so yummy!

Snack was hummus with carrots and cucumbers

Dinner I had steak with kale and sweet potato.

Total weight loss is: 3.8 lbs. Was really hoping the weekend would give me more weightloss. But, still, 3.8 lbs in one week is really great, especially for me.

Day 4 - Fast Metabolism Diet

2013-04-26T08:38:00.003-04:00

Day 4 – Thursday

I have no idea how I will ever do this phase again. To say I hated it is an understatement. It was hard because of the growling stomach and the intense desire to eat SUGAR. Not to mention how quick to anger I have been these past two days. I do not like myself during this phase and, I suspect, neither does my family.

I will say this though, that not counting calories or points, or whatever, is so freeing! I eat five times a day but don’t stress about portions or calories. Even though I’m mindful of portions, I am pretty much eating until I’m full, which, I am able to discern much easier on this plan than any other. Go figure.

Started the day with two sips of coffee…I feel so guilty about the cheat that I have reduced to two sips before breakfast and then finishing the cup after. At 7am, after I was awake enough to handle the stove, I made an egg white scramble with spinach and mushrooms. I felt really satisfied after and thought maybe today will be better than yesterday.

After I brought my son to preschool, I came home and did a workout with weights. I felt a little sluggish during the workout –which is abnormal for me – but finished strong. I showered and threw in a load of laundry and surprisingly wasn’t hungry yet. So I waited for my snack until 10.

For snack, I had roast beef wrapped around cucumbers. Strange and yet, satisfying.

I ate lunch at 12:30 because I was starving! Since I loved my lunch so much from yesterday, I repeated it. Except this time, I did one with chicken and one with steak leftover from last night.

At three o’clock I had a snack of carrots and turkey jerky (still not a fan).

Finally for dinner: pork tenderloin, steamed broccoli and green beans. The hardest thing to get accustomed to is cooking without oil but using lemon juice instead on the veggies is actually very tasty and I don’t miss the oil at all.

I cannot wait for the next phase and for all the food that I love. I went out today and bought 6 avocados!

I did weigh myself again this morning. Honestly, it was to prove to myself that this “diet” is like any other – I was convinced that I would gain weight today because that is what happens all the time to me: 2 lbs down, 1 up, 1 down, 2 up.

However, I lost again.

I am in awe.

This plan is magical. I have lost 2.7 lbs in just three days. (Not counting today which is Thursday because it was the morning when I weighed in.) For me to lose 2.7 lbs on those other plans took me weeks because of what I described above: the up and down.

I am excited for Phase 3 and now beginning to stress about how I will get through this another week. Anyone else feeling that way?

Day 3 Fast Metabolism Diet

2013-04-25T08:52:00.001-04:00

Day 3 -Wednesday

I woke up today so excited to start day three because it is also the beginning of Phase 2, which means proteins and veggies baby! I did not like the feeling that I had on Phase 1, which was anxious for the most part. I wasn’t hungry but just anxious. I felt light headed, a little out of sorts, and even a tad angry – at what I don’t know.

So, after checking the news, I got busy making my egg white scramble. I have never sautéed onions in water before but it works, go figure. So, I sautéed red and green onions, some diced bell peppers, and spinach before adding in my egg whites. I think I ate it in ten seconds. No, not really but man did those egg whites taste good! Satisfied and ready to get my girls off to school, I did just that.

And then, about an hour later something happened. I WAS STARVING! I mean tummy grumbling, frantically looking to see what I could eat, starving. I mean, it was crazy how hungry I felt. I decided to distract myself with some water and taking a shower but as soon as I was done I ran downstairs and broke open the turkey jerky and shoved a piece in my mouth. It was only two hours since my breakfast. I knew then that it was going to be a long, long day.

On a side note: I weighed myself before my shower. When I started this on Monday, I told myself not to step on the scale until next Monday but old habits die hard. Anyways, I was down 2 pounds. Wait, what? I stepped on it again, and then again just to make sure that the scale wasn’t broken. For me to lose 2 lbs it normally takes me two weeks of HARD dieting and STRENOUS exercise –trust me I fight for those pounds. So, I don’t know if those 2 lbs were a fluke or what but we shall see.

As for the turkey jerky….um, ok. I’ve never eaten anything jerky before (other than Jamaican Jerk Chicken) and it wasn’t bad but it wasn’t great either. I will finish the bag but will probably never buy it again. It was just weird: the texture, the taste, the idea of dried meat….

For lunch, I had the most amazing “sandwich”. I took chicken from last night, cut up cucumbers and peppers and put them inside 2 romaine lettuce leaves. Then I squeezed fresh lime, added cilantro, and a few dashes of hot sauce. Honestly, I don’t know if hot sauce is ok but I needed something on it and I don’t regret it at all!

About an hour later, I was STARVING again! I ate some carrots and then decided I had better get out of the house, so I took my son to the playground…with a half of a cucumber. I can’t believe how hungry I am in this phase! How am I going to get through another day of it? As soon as we got home I ran to the refrigerators and grabbed some roast beef and some more carrots. I used some horseradish sauce that I’m pretty sure was a violation of the plan. I know Haylie calls for horseradish but this had soy in it and was creamy. I used a teaspoon of it and made it last.

For dinner, I cooked a big steak for the family, made a heap of asparagus for me and my husband, and for the kiddos I made corn. Now, cooking the asparagus was a challenge because normally I roast it in the oven with salt, pepper, and olive oil. Since we can’t have fat yet, I doused it with lemon juice, salt and pepper. It turned out great and I didn’t even miss the fat. Go figure. I knew I would need more veggies so I sautéed mushrooms, oinions, and peppers and put them on my steak. Truth be told, I was so hungry I shoved it all in my mouth so fast. This no carb thing stinks!

Honestly, I had to keep snacking on veggies all day to keep the hungry pains and growling at bay. All I can say is that the fat better be melting off because I hate feeling hungry!

Day 2 - Fast Met. Diet

2013-04-24T17:52:00.000-04:00

So, day 2 of Phase 1.

I don’t normally eat a lot of carbs, just because I’m just not a “bread person” and fruit to me is just meh to me. I like fruit when it’s fresh and ripe but otherwise I can leave it. I am, however, more of a protein person (I like peanut butter, cheese, meats, yogurts) so I went into this phase with some trepidation. How would I survive without my protein? Day one wasn’t so bad, probably because I was so excited to get going with the program. I had mapped out my entire weeks’ worth of food and snacks so I was ready to go.

Day 2 though, didn’t go as well and by the end of the day I could not wait to go to sleep so I could get the day over with!

For breakfast, I had the strawberry French toast. Normally, I only enjoy French toast when made with white bread, and this reiterated that. However, with the berries over it I was able to forget that I was eating sprouted grain bread (which I really do like for sandwiches). I used frozen berries to make the compote and sprouted grain bread and egg whites. I felt satisfied after eating it. I will make a confession…I am still enjoying my morning coffee, although only one cup as opposed to two or sometimes three. I put only a splash of half-and-half, and I broke down and got some stevia….YUCK. I would rather my sugar-in-the-raw any day over that fake tasting crap. BUT, since I am breaking one of Haylie’s rules (well two if you count the milk), I figure I had better skip the sugar!

Midmorning, I did a Yoga Booty Ballet workout DVD and after, for a snack, I had a green apple. As I said earlier, I’m not really a fruit person. I had to choke down the apple after a few bites. But, I forced it!

For lunch, I had leftover turkey chili with some rice crackers. When I made it, I didn’t put all of the 5 cans of beans (only 2) and so figured I could have a few crackers and not break the bank, so to speak. Again, I was fully satisfied after eating but the jittery anxious feeling hasn’t gone away.

For snack, I was out with my son doing errands and started to get really jittery and really anxious. I knew I was a half hour from home so went searching through Target for something! Luckily, I found segmented grapefruit in its own juices and ate that on the way home. I totally forgot how much I love grapefruit! SCORE…I will be buying those for next week.

For dinner, I made my own version of the chicken and wild rice with mushrooms. I sautéed onions and garlic in chicken broth and then added in diced chicken (seasoned with Greek seasoning) until cooked through. I added tomatoes, bell peppers, and mushrooms at the end. It was really good. I served it over wild rice.

When I got my plate, I was ravenous and so I heaped my plate with rice and chicken. The funny thing was that half way through I was really full. I had expected to eat my heaping plate full and then some but I didn’t needed it.

I cannot wait for phase 2 because I do not like how I feel on this high carb part of the plan. I never felt "hungry" per se but just felt like "something" was missing. The funny thing is that I am a potato-chipoholic; I cannot go a day without one. But curiously, I am not craving the salt. I wonder if it's because I'm drinking so much water (which I normally drink but just not as much as Haylie requires). I also wonder if this has something to do with the good carbs I ate these last couple of days. I wonder if I will crave them in Phase 2.... God, I can’t wait for phase 2!

The Fast Metabolism Diet – Day 1

2013-04-23T10:03:00.001-04:00

If you haven’t heard of this “diet” yet, I encourage you to go to Haylie Pomroy’s website http://www.fastmetabolismdiet.com/ and see what she has to say. Ms. Pomroy is a sought after nutritionist in Hollywood, and wellness consultant. She calls herself “The metabolism whisperer.” I saw her on Dr. Oz back in March of this year and ordered the book that afternoon.

I have been a chronic dieter my entire life. My first program was when I was 13 and it was the beet diet. I ate beets (hate them) and cottage cheese (which I love now but didn’t then!) and yogurt. I lost a little bit of weight but nothing significant. So, my mom (who was only helping me because I hated the way I looked) took me to our church for the program they ran there for the old fat ladies of the parish. I am not kidding, but the woman who “ran” it weighed nearly 300, if not more, pounds. I found it very hard to take her seriously but I followed the program and did lose some weight. After that, I didn’t need to diet again until college. It was then that I began Weight Watchers. Since college, I have attended WW on and off. I did it in college, after college, before my wedding, after my first baby…my second baby…my third baby…and twice in the last two years. I have also done Diet Workshop and have used Sparkpeople for weight loss. All of those programs work, if you work the programs, but I am always left with lumps and bumps that are so stubborn and simply won’t melt away. I can never seem to get to my goal weight. A couple of years ago, I decided that I would forget the “food” and focus on working out. I believed that calories in – calories out would result in weight loss. I couldn’t have been more wrong. I seem to gain weight at alarming rates the minute I don’t work out. My doctor has assured me that “I am fine and that I am just getting older.” I do not accept that.

I feel like a gerbil on a wheel when it comes to weight loss. I work really really, really, hard, deprive myself of everything, workout like crazy and yet I can gain six pounds in a weekend. Not only that, but those six pounds take WEEKS to lose.

I love WW, I really do, because it works. What I like about it is that the plan encourages you to eat veggies and fruit (which I believe are the keys to weight loss). What I don’t like about it is the fact that the plan encourages that you eat a lot of processed foods. Now, if you were to interview a WW employee that would refute that, however, the more processed something is, the less “points” it is. And the less points something is the more likely a weight watcher is to eat it. Low fat, light, zero calorie products all contain chemicals and I don’t want to put those things in my body.

So, when I saw Haylie Pomroy on Dr. Oz and listened to her explain her plan, and why it is so hard for women my age to lose weight, I was mesmerized. She was saying everything that I had been thinking for years. My metabolism is broken. Now, a metabolism isn’t a thing, it’s a system. Metabolism consists of your liver, adrenals, thyroid, pituitary gland, and hypothalamus. If one or more of those things is not functioning properly, you have a slow metabolism.

I received The Fast Metabolism Diet book last week, read through it, and began the program yesterday. What I love most is that this plan isn’t really a diet at all. As Haylie says, diet is an acronym for Did I Eat Today. The entire premise of her plan is to EAT and EAT a lot! When we deprive ourselves of food, we store fat in massive amounts. She also believes that no amount of working out is going to fix it -because your body will cannibalize your muscle before giving up any fat!

The plan is a broken into phases. For days 1-2 you eat high carbs, low protein, and fruit. Days 3-4 you eat high protein, low carbs, no fruit, loads of veggies. Days 5-7 you eat everything and add in healthy fat. You only workout twice during the week. During phase 1, you do one day of moderate cardio. During phase 2, you do one day of weight lifting. During phase 3, you get a massage, do yoga, or go for a slow walk to clear your mind. How easy does this sound? I thought it seemed very easy and doable and if it helps repair my metabolism in to a fat burning machine, I will be ecstatic. If I lose zero weight, I think that it’s still worth it to clear out my body of anything toxic without starvation.

After one day, I feel….no different! However, I am committed to 28 days of this plan. That means no alcohol, caffeine, wheat, soy, corn, or dairy for 28 days.

Here was my food from yesterday:

Breakfast: Oatmeal and blueberry smoothie

Snack: Apple

Lunch: Open faced turkey sandwich with mustard, tomato, onion, and lettuce.

Snack: frozen pineapple

Dinner: Turkey chili – 2 cups.

I will post about my progress for the next 28 days. If you start the program too, let me know!

A Writing Hiatus

2013-04-22T14:41:00.001-04:00

Just last week I traveled with my family out to Nevada to visit my husband’s sister. We had a great week of family fun that included a trip to the Hoover dam, a night at the Grand Canyon, zip lining down old Las Vegas (not me or Nathan of course), a Vegas show (Nathan Burton’s Magic Show), some swimming, and some touring of the Vegas strip. It was a great, albeit too fast, vacation for all of us.

I took my laptop with me on vacation figuring that I would “need” to write. I couldn’t imagine not writing for a whole week. After all, I write every single day! Not only that, but I have a meeting with a literary agent in two weeks and I thought that I would double, triple, and quadruple check my manuscript just to make sure it was “ready.” However, the only time I opened my laptop was to check the bank account, look at a map, and to order my groceries online to be delivered when we arrived home – genius of me, if I do say so myself.

For the last few months, I have been feverishly writing short stories, blogs, and working on my manuscripts, in other words, I have been all over the place. I’ve known for a while that I need to start focusing on one aspect of my writing whether it is novels, short stories, articles, or maybe sketch comedy (I’m kidding, but I wish I was funny enough to do that!). I know that I can’t do it all, at least not yet. If I want to be a great novelist then I will need to focus all of my energy there. If I want to be an article writer, I will have to ditch my novels for a while.

I know this one thing for sure, I want to be a writer more than anything else I have ever wanted, and I am committed to being the best writer I can be. The hardest part is not knowing where to focus my energy. I think I need to do some heavy mediation around the subject!

This time away, not writing, really helped to quiet my brain. Did I have any huge revelations during this break? No, at least I don’t think so. I mean I didn’t get hit in the head with anything or spend the week crying in the corner. I’m not sure if before I went on vacation I would say I was burnt out but I do know now, in hindsight, that I was exhausted. I think that I was pushing myself a little too hard. It totally did not help my cause that the weather around here sucks – sorry no other word to describe it. In Las Vegas, I didn’t want to be sitting in the house writing because it was so beautiful outside every single day! My family even conceded that moving wouldn’t be so tragic after all. I only wish we could make that happen.

From now on I will schedule more days off than on with my writing in the hopes that my brain will produce more quality content. Not only that, but I want to spend as much time with Nathan before he goes off to kindergarten in the fall. I do not know where life is going to take me but I do know, that even if I give myself the day off from writing, the sky will not fall.

How do you battle burn out?

Making sense of terrorism

2013-04-19T08:38:00.000-04:00

Terrorism is an act of EVIL. If you don’t believe in God I can’t help you understand this but for those who do bear with me. If you believe in God then you believe in the Devil. No one wants to believe that the Devil walks around in plain sight but he does. If you believe in God you certainly believe that He lives in plain sight and so it only makes sense.

I’m not overly religious, per se, but I am Catholic and do consider myself very spiritual. In the light of all that is unfolding in Boston right now I feel compelled to let you know that in order to get past this (as a community, as a human race) we must believe that GOOD wins over EVIL EVERYTIME. But, how do we do that?

I believe that God exists but I don’t think that “He” is a he, never mind a human at all. God = good. God equals all that is magnificent in the world. God is not a person waving a wand making people sick, or making people better. He isn’t responsible for your horrible life and he isn’t responsible for your great life. YOU ARE. In essence, you are God. Everything you embody is made from God (because let’s face it, this world is magnificent and only a God could create it) but your mind is a free thinking entity. God gives you everything good, just look at a baby, but how you use that good is up to you. Consider it a test. God wants us to love, forgive, treat others with respect, treat the earth with the respect she deserves, and above all fight EVIL.

Evil = Devil. The Devil is not born within us. You don’t see a baby and think, oh the Devil made him. No, because evil is a product of environment. Evil is everything opposite of good. Do I believe that the devil waves a wand and makes you sick or your life horrible? No. No more than I believe God is in charge of that. What I believe is that, as humans, we must decide which “voice” we want to listen to: good or evil….God or Devil. See how those words are strangely similar?

Like many of you I am trying to wrap my brain around WHY someone would want to bomb the spectators at the Boston Marathon. I can’t help but try to figure out why, it’s what I do, it’s who I am. I need to know and the only thing that makes sense is that they are evil.

These people don’t exist somewhere else anymore, they are right here in our own back yard. Terrorist attacks, shootings, bombings are the new norm and I’m pissed off about it.

Not only that, but also these bombings and shootings are occurring in places where we should feel the most at ease: a movie theater, watching a marathon, a school. My children are growing up in a world where they will live in fear, where they will be on the constant lookout for suspicious behavior, and where they will most likely be a victim of a terrorist attack, bombing, or shooting in their lifetime.

What could a terrorist possibly gain from bombing innocent people? Mental health is no longer an acceptable answer; it’s an excuse. We have become a society where placing blame is our “get out of jail free” card. If we can blame someone else then we don’t have to accept responsibility and if we don’t need to accept responsibility then accountability goes completely out the window. Without accountability, we separate ourselves from those feelings that are imperative to making good decisions. In other words, if we aren’t thinking through the consequences of our actions and how they affect others we end up with a society filled with terrorists. We need to get over ourselves already. Being right is not important. Being good is.

In the wake of the Newtown shootings newswoman Ann Curry started the 25 Random Acts of Kindness to honor those who died. Her theory was that if we could do good in the wake of the tragedy, we could counteract the evil. She was chastised for this. Why? Because people thought that being good should be an everyday occurrence and not just after a tragedy. Well, they are right. However, as humans we need the reminder.

If we want more good in this world, we ALL need to embody it…every day. A wonderful spiritual life coach Mary Morrissey says, “We need to turn up the volume on what we want to hear.” In other words, if you want more kindness or good in this world then it is up to YOU to act this way.

I, like you, am so angry that someone could put a bomb at the finish line of a peaceful event, however, if I don’t turn down the anger and turn up my “calm” I am giving in to evil, or the Devil. The devil wants us all to retaliate or live in fear because then he wins. God would like us to forgive, to pass the word of kindness, to spread good in the world.

Look, I know that being kind and forgiving those scumbags for the bombings isn’t going to make all acts of terrorism stop. However, as a human race we have survived many, many tragedies and will persevere but it we are at a critical point. We must decide whom we want to win: good or evil.

The terrorists think they are sending us a message. They think they are breaking us down. They think, stupidly, that we care about their cause. What they don’t realize is that they are the weak ones. The only way to make them understand that they will not win is to prove it to them.

As a human race, we MUST become more vigilant about spotting potential evil and we must begin to neutralize it. How do we do that? In New York City, there are signs that say, “If you see something, say something.” How is that for easy? If you see something, say something. Stop living in fear of being wrong about what you think you see and report everything. We can triumph over evil if we just stop ignoring it.

So here is my call to action:

1. If you see something, say something.

2. Stop blaming others for your problems and take responsibility

3. Be kind…..always.

We can’t eliminate all evil but we can overpower it.

Out of Reach - a poem

2013-03-21T13:20:00.002-04:00

I feel your presence but you are out of reach

I reach but can’t find you.

Once, I closed my eyes and put my hand out

and I swear I felt you.

I grabbed a piece of what I thought was you.

I hung on to you with all my might.

I swore I would never let go

but my fingers became numb and you slipped away.

I wish I had been stronger.

I tried to grab you again but

You did not want to be caught.

I beg.

Why can’t I have you?

Why can’t I prove to you that I am worthy?

I plead but you only move further away.

I grow old waiting to find you again

but I finally gave up.

It was not meant to be.

Maybe that’s what you wanted.

Maybe you needed me to feel as if you were there

in some sick way.

I blame myself for letting you go but I think you wanted it that way.

I will never forgive you, my dream, for escaping me.

Healthy Eating Guidelines

2013-03-08T13:38:00.000-05:00

I just love that word “guidelines.” Guidelines sound so unobtrusive and yet the government is shoving these “healthy eating guidelines” down our throats so far that they are beginning to feel like demands.

Here is my stance. I am all for restaurants offering healthier menu choices, I love calories being posted (even if they aren’t accurate), and I love that schools will offer more real food rather than the frozen unrecognizable that my children are now served. Which, by the way, is an entire other blog because my girls school is constantly running out of food and my girls end up eating crap instead of what is listed on the menu for the day. But, I digress.

What I cannot get on board with is towns or cities telling me that I can’t order a large soda (which I wouldn’t order but it’s the principal), or that my kids can’t have cupcakes at school. And, especially, I do not want a teacher telling my child that the Dorito’s she has for lunch is not healthy and she should have brought something else. I am very much against BMI screening in schools as well. I think that should be left between a parent and a pediatrician. The government and teachers need to stay the hell out of my business.

The government is trying to deal with the obesity epidemic (a joke in of itself) by shaking it’s finger at us and punishing us. It doesn’t work with my kids and it certainly won’t work for Americans. If the government really wants everyone to get healthier than they should reward us for it, not take away our freedoms.

Our schools have eliminated all sweets from school, including juice. You can’t even sell candy bars as a fundraiser that benefits the school outside of the school. They are forcing our children to do fitness challenges, which for some are humiliating. They are serving fruit parfaits and thinking THAT is a “healthy” option. Don’t get me wrong, I like choices but not forced choices, especially in America.

What burns me the most is that these guidelines are now forced upon those of us who have raised healthy children by teaching them moderation and the importance of regular exercise because an entire community in say, Mississippi, don’t. What kills me even more is the kids who aren’t as athletic as my girls who are being made to feel bad about themselves because they aren’t. Not everyone is meant to be an athlete.

When I was in high school, a guy said to my face, “You’d be pretty if you lost some weight.” He is not the sole reason for my poor body image but he didn’t help either. He humiliated me in front of a couple of other guys who were my friends at the time (one of which I had the biggest crush on) and I have never forgot that. I also remember the humiliation I felt in elementary school when I could not climb the damn knotted rope in gym class. The teacher berated me, the kids teased me, – and it was crushing. I can tell you, then, from experience, that when a teacher or other kids single out a child for their weight, food choices, or inability to climb a rope that child never, ever forgets it.

A cupcake or two during the school year is not going to make a child obese and if we eliminate them and say that cupcakes are “bad” that can also send a bad message to children. I know one child who stopped eating most foods because he was so afraid it wasn’t “healthy”. His weight came into question after about a year and when asked why he was not eating, he said because a teacher made fun of his lunch at school.

Guidelines are great but do you know what’s better? EDUCATION. Let people make their own choices based on what they learn. The government needs to back off on these guidelines, or at the very least schools need to back off on their interpretation of them. I really believe that these guidelines are discriminatory and should not be allowed. There has to be a better way. I know there is: EDUCATION.

Blog Flash Day 6: Island

2013-03-08T10:03:00.000-05:00

I bought an island! Some people think I did it because I want be alone but actually I did it so I can feel surrounded. The sea gives me energy and strength. When I am in the presence of the ocean, I feel the most alive! No human being has been able to match that feeling. So, I bought an island to spend my life closest to the one I love most.

You are all welcome to visit me on my island, but please don't overstay your welcome.

Blog Flash Day 5: Mental Health

2013-03-07T16:31:00.000-05:00

The mental health umbrella once was used to describe the psychotic or schizophrenic. By today’s standards mental health means so much more. It can mean everything from anxiety to schizophrenia.

Personally, I do not suffer from any mental health issue but do know many who do (including some who don’t even realize it). From my perspective, it can be frustrating dealing with a friend with anxiety, or having a child with ADHD and not understanding why she can’t just STOP. However, it doesn’t make me love those around me any less.

Blog Flash Day 4: Books

2013-03-06T08:18:00.001-05:00

Blog Flash - Day 4: Books

Books have always been a central part of my life thanks to my mom who signed me up for story time, took me to the library, and bought me books for Christmas. My favorite memory surrounding books is the bookmobile - a library on wheels. How genius is that! I can still remember how excited I was whenever I saw the bookmobile coming down the road. I loved choosing books (with the crinkly cover), then running in my house with my new books eager to read them. There is no other feeling like beginning a new book.

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Blog Flash Day 3: Innocence

2013-03-05T09:41:00.000-05:00

Today's prompt is innocence. Do you remember when you lost yours?

The little girl with long brown hair and curls that bounced ran straight to the pen that housed a new litter of lambs. Three lambs practically knocked her over as she entered. Oh how she loved the lambs. She patted and fed them until her mother called out to her.

“Honey, Mommy has to tell you something.”

The little girl stared at her mother with her big chocolate brown eyes.

“Daddy is very sick and he is going to die.”

The little girl turned to her Daddy, who looked as white as a marshmallow. He attempted to smile but only one corner of his mouth lifted.

The little girl covered her mouth and tried to hold back her tears but it was useless.

Blog Flash Challenge Day 2

2013-03-04T08:38:00.000-05:00

Technology:

The bane of our existence.

The heart of our existence.

The thing I can’t live without.

The thing I wish I could.

The thing that gives me comfort.

The thing that frustrates me to no end.

Technology is there whether

you need it or not.

It is that thing that gives you energy.

It is that thing that drains the

life out of you.

Technology is like a spouse.

#BlogFlash2013

http://terriglong.com/blog/2013/03/blogflash2013-day-two-technology/#lf_comment=61038540

Blog Flash Challenge

2013-03-01T09:29:00.000-05:00

I am so excited to be participating in a 21 day Blog Challenge!

Thank you to Terri Giuliano Long for hosting another BlogFlash event. The challenge is to write 50-100 word blogs for 21 days using prompts she gives us. Today is day 1 and the prompt is laughter.

Prompt 1: Laughter

An average baby laughs 300 times a day. How many times a day do you laugh? I’m guessing it doesn’t even come close to 300.

Have you ever laughed ‘till you peed? I think it’s mainly a girl thing. I have never heard a man say that he laughed so hard he peed. One time, I laughed so hard I peed my pants, in public. Granted I was pregnant but still. My girls were 7 and 9 at the time and will forever remember the day their mother peed her pants at the ice cream shop.

What makes you laugh?

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Here is a video of my son, when he was about six months old, laughing at his big sister. If you don't smile watching this, you might need a long vacation!

My son laughing

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To see Terri’s post for the day (and find links for others’ pieces) you can visit Terry’s blog here: http://terriglong.com/blog/blogflash2013-march-2013-30-days-of-flash-blogging. Or follow along on Twitter (@tglong and #BlogFlash2013) or Facebook.

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