Todd Swank

Easter 2026: I Used to Hunt Eggs… Now I Watch My Blood Sugar

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Swank) — Sun, 05 Apr 2026 23:57:00 +0000

Easter 2026: I Used to Hunt Eggs… Now I Watch My Blood Sugar

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for April 5, 2026

Tuesday night we got together with Sheri’s college friend Cathy Klimek and her husband Jeff to celebrate Cathy’s birthday from earlier. Somewhere between drinks and dinner, the conversation turned into what every Minnesota night eventually becomes… complaining about the Vikings, the Twins, and the weather pretending it’s spring. Just a steady rotation of things that look promising right up until they don’t.

Luke had his 6-month checkup with Dr. Leise at Mayo, and it was exactly what we were hoping for… uneventful. In our world, “nothing changed” is basically a standing ovation. You get the good news, exhale a little, and then spend the rest of the visit just catching up like you’re not in a medical office at all. Dr. Leise is one of those guys who makes that easy too. Good at his job and just a genuinely good dude.

Easter morning started bright and early with a visit to see Grandma Linda at rehab. We briefly considered hiding an Easter basket for her, then remembered she’s in a wheelchair and decided maybe this wasn’t the year to test her agility. So we kept it simple, hung out, and enjoyed some time together instead.

Her hip replacement is scheduled for Tuesday, so we’d appreciate any prayers or positive thoughts for a smooth surgery and a quick return home.

We wrapped up Easter with the boys at a contemporary church service, then headed to brunch at Legends Golf Club, which did not disappoint. Great food, good company, and one of those mornings that just felt easy. Abby couldn’t make it since she was working and flying home from Amsterdam, although she was kind enough to send pictures of herself standing in perfectly blooming tulip fields… so it’s possible we were the ones who made the wrong Easter plans.

Happy Easter Everyone!

@toddswank Autonomous wheelchairs at Mayo Clinic… so naturally I tested it like an idiot. Turns out it reacts faster than half the drivers on 35W. The future’s here, and it’s already safer than us. #AI #Robotics #FutureIsNow #Minnesota #TechHumor ♬ BMX - CLOWNY BEATZZ

@toddswank After Tiger’s latest adventure, this might be the most believable sponsorship of his career. Pour. Drive. Repeat. #TigerWoods #GolfTok #BrewDriver #SportsComedy #Golf ♬ original sound - Todd Swank

@toddswank Mystic Lake is changing fast. Had to stop and imagine what this expansion is going to look like when it’s finally done. #MysticLake #Shakopee #Casino #Construction #PriorLake ♬ Timeless - Franksille

Looks like Spring. Smells like a Setup.

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Swank) — Sun, 29 Mar 2026 22:04:00 +0000

Looks like Spring. Smells like a Setup.

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for March 29, 2026

It feels like spring showed up. It’s 70, the sun’s out, and everyone’s acting like we made it… then you look at Prior Lake and there’s still ice sitting out there. We even saw a few boats already, which feels a little aggressive. We’ll give it a bit before we jump in.

Grandma Linda is still plugging away in rehab, and we stop by a couple times a week to break up the boredom… which is winning by a mile right now. One more week until her hip replacement, and we’re all hoping that’s the last stop before she’s back home. Her neighbors even reached out because they hadn’t seen her and were thinking about a welfare check, which is really sweet… and somehow made me feel guilty for something I’m pretty sure I didn’t do.

Thursday night we hit Crooked Pint with the Walters for some bingo. Miss Sheri came in hot, split the first coverall with another player, then came back and took the second one all by herself. I’m just sitting there realizing… I had no idea how much it turns me on to watch my wife yell “Bingo” in public.

Friday night was Music Bingo with the Euchre crew at the VFW in Shakopee. Our luck cooled off a bit, but it was a lot of fun trying to remember song titles from the 70s and 80s like your reputation depends on it. I asked everyone to grab a picture… and didn’t notice the guy in back chiming in with the universal sign for “this was a terrible idea.” Apparently my photo request really struck a nerve.

The only other real highlight of the weekend was checking out the brand new Caribou Coffee at Mystic Lake. Very fancy setup… which is exactly what you want right before making questionable gambling decisions. Nothing like a little extra caffeine to speed up the losing process.

@toddswank Every comeback feels real… until it isn’t. #TigerWoods #GolfTok #SportsDrama #ComebackStory ♬ Bad to the Bone - B.sound

@toddswank “Silicon Valley joked about Middle-Out. Turboquant just made it real. AI just got faster and cheaper overnight.” #AI #ArtificialIntelligence #Turboquant #Google #middleout ♬ Suspense｜Heavy bass line of unsettling tension - Timeless AI

Four Seasons. Same Dang Week!

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Swank) — Sun, 22 Mar 2026 22:46:09 +0000

Four Seasons. Same Dang Week!

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for March 22, 2026

It was the first day of spring this week, but in Minnesota that doesn’t mean much. Our weather is completely bipolar. Last Saturday we got almost 14 inches of snow, this Saturday it was pushing 80 degrees, and today we’re right back down to 35 like nothing ever happened. At least the ice on the lakes, ponds, and rivers is finally starting to give up. Judging by this crew, the birds have been waiting all winter for their pool to reopen… and they’re not wasting a second.

I was pretty excited to get this shot, even though apparently this guy is a fairly common sight around Prior Lake. ChatGPT tells me it’s a male Hooded Merganser, which sounds impressive until you realize it’s basically the bird version of “yeah, we’ve got a lot of those around here.” Still… look at him. This guy walked into the barbershop and said, “Just a little off the sides,” and the barber chose violence.

Long-time readers of my blog know our history with albino squirrels. I’d never seen one in my life, and then after our twin boys were born, they started showing up in our yard every time something stressful was going on. This happened across two different houses in differnt cities. It got to the point where we started thinking of them as little guardian angels. Then the boys moved out… and the sightings stopped. Until this week. My mom called with good news that her hip surgery was being moved up, and while I was on the phone I looked outside and saw this guy across the street. I told Grandma Linda that means she’s gonna be just fine.

Tuesday night was our last regular season home game for the Timberwolves, and also our last time sitting in the end zone. We only had these seats for part of this season, but it was a fun perspective… minus the small issue of the basket occasionally blocking everything important. After a few games of guessing what just happened, we decided to switch it up for next year and try a new angle. Same team, same energy, just hopefully a clearer view of the actual game.

The opponent Tuesday night was the Phoenix Suns, a team that’s given the Wolves problems before, and we had to face them without Anthony Edwards. Add in the fact that we’d lost 4 of our last 5 and the Western Conference playoff race is basically a knife fight right now… not exactly the confidence boost you’re looking for walking into Target Center. Everything I was seeing beforehand said this was a huge opportunity for Phoenix with Ant out and the Wolves slipping a bit, which is usually right about the time Minnesota fans start emotionally preparing for the worst.

Then the game started and all that worry went out the window. They were down early which felt very on brand, but once they settled in they completely took control. Julius Randle was unstoppable with 32, Bones Hyland gave them a huge spark off the bench, Gobert owned the glass, and the defense started making life miserable. They broke it open with a big run late in the third and cruised to a 116-104 win. No Ant, no problem.

With the temperatures finally warming up this week, we’re trying to take advantage and get back out for our hikes. On Thursday we made it over to Sunset Pond in Savage and did a loop around the water, which is still covered in that dirty, end-of-winter ice that looks like it could give up at any second. It’s that awkward Minnesota phase where it’s warm enough to be outside, but everything still looks like winter’s hanging on out of spite.

Saturday felt like Minnesota showing off, flirting with 80 degrees like it hasn’t spent the last five months trying to freeze us out of existence, so we headed over the Bloomington Ferry Bridge to soak it in. The Minnesota River was actually moving like it remembered its job, which was nice to see, but the trails were still a soggy mess, cutting our walk shorter than we wanted. Classic early spring here… perfect weather, terrible footing, and just enough hope to keep you coming back.

We wrapped up the walk with a stop at The Landing, which always feels like you accidentally stepped onto the set of Little House on the Prairie and nobody told you to act normal. It’s this preserved 1800s village along the river with old shops, homes, and just enough history to remind you how different life used to be. We don’t get out there often, maybe once every few years, but every time we do it’s a cool reminder that people survived just fine without Wi-Fi, DoorDash, or complaining about soggy trails.

This week we got lucky and had Avery and Abby stop by twice, which doesn’t happen often with how busy their schedules are. Sometimes a couple weeks go by without seeing them, and then out of nowhere we get back-to-back visits like this. Nothing big planned, just time around the table catching up, but those are the nights you realize how much you miss it when it doesn’t happen.

@toddswank Japan finally sending in its most reliable maritime reopening specialist. Strait of Hormuz crisis: solved. Hashtags: #StraitOfHormuz #Godzilla #BreakingNews #Geopolitics #Satire ♬ Rites of War - Damien Deshayes

Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Grill

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Swank) — Mon, 16 Mar 2026 00:24:00 +0000

Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Grill

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for March 15, 2026

This was taken down at Target Center during the Timberwolves Select-A-Seat event, which is basically where fans walk around the arena pretending they’re calm, rational adults while deciding how much more money they’d like to emotionally invest in a basketball team. The Wolves had just ripped off a five-game win streak and climbed all the way to the 3rd seed in the West… and then immediately started playing like absolute garbage and lost four of the last five. So naturally Miss Sheri and I decided it was the perfect moment to reinvest in season tickets for next year. Minnesota sports logic at its finest.

Grandma Linda is getting settled into rehab and had a good week, including getting her hip surgery scheduled for the end of April. We’re still not sure if insurance will let her stay there until then or if she’ll have to go home for a while, but in the meantime PT and OT are clearly working. She’s already figured out how to zip around the place in that wheelchair like it’s an F1 car, which is both impressive and slightly concerning for the rest of the hallway traffic.

Thursday night brought us to Hop House Brewery at Mystic Lake Casino to meet up with Miss Sheri’s cousin Mary and her husband Michael. Even though we all live in the Twin Cities, somehow these get-togethers don’t happen nearly as often as they should. Thankfully a couple beers and a table full of stories fixes that pretty quickly. Great catching up with them and remembering why we always say we need to do this more often… right before another six months slips by.

Friday night we drove down to Rochester to see Bert Kreischer. I’d never actually seen his stand-up before, but I did enjoy his Netflix show Free Bert and knew he was the comedian who takes his shirt off for some reason. I’m still not entirely sure why that’s part of the act, but apparently thousands of people are perfectly happy paying money to watch a grown man take his shirt off and start telling stories. Honestly, the more I think about it… that’s a move a lot of guys I know would try for free.

This was actually Luke’s Christmas gift to us. He bought tickets for us to see John Mulaney in Minneapolis, but that show got postponed after the ICE riots shut half the city down. So like any modern Christmas present, it slowly evolved into something different. You start with tickets to a sharply dressed comedian who’s openly battled cocaine addiction… and somehow end up at a show where the headliner takes his shirt off & starts telling drinking stories. Christmas gifts can be weird like that.

Bert put on a great show. A lot of his stories revolve around his legendary drinking days, but he mentioned he’s not drinking right now while dealing with some health issues. That part actually hit a little close to home for me since technically I’m a couple years older than him and have my own collection of health challenges these days. It’s a weird moment when the shirtless party guy on stage starts talking about health and you find yourself nodding along.

Our week ended with dinner and games with our good friends Karl and Tina Zitzewitz. We’d originally planned to go out, but changed plans when we heard about the massive blizzard heading our way. For once the weather people actually got it right and Prior Lake picked up about 14 inches of snow in the past 24 hours. Just when we thought it was finally safe to start thinking about getting the lawnmower ready again.

@toddswank A few years ago I would’ve heard Python, Linux, and Ubuntu and thought, “Yeah… that’s for somebody smarter than me.” Now I’m building my own little AI lab and learning this stuff in public with ChatGPT as my trusted advisor. If I can do it, you can too. #AI #LearnAI #TechTok #SwankVentures ♬ Background music for training at a strength and bodybuilding gym - Lounge Vibes

Minnesota’s Annual “Maybe It’s Spring” Moment

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Swank) — Mon, 09 Mar 2026 02:09:00 +0000

Minnesota’s Annual “Maybe It’s Spring” Moment

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for March 8, 2026

Grandma Linda is doing well in rehab. She gets a little frustrated with the sudden loss of independence, but the staff is taking great care of her and, for now, she doesn’t have much choice. With her hip waiting to be replaced, she’s not allowed to put any weight on one leg, which turns even simple things into a production. The kids joined us to bring her lunch, and we ended up having a really nice visit together. Sometimes the best medicine isn’t in the rehab plan… it’s just showing up and sitting around the table for a while.

Saturday night it was our turn to host the monthly Euchre tournament. We’ve been playing with this crew for a few years now and it’s become one of those nights you always look forward to. Euchre, for the uninitiated, is a Midwestern card game where four people sit down politely… and about twenty minutes later everyone is loudly explaining why their partner completely ruined the hand. The only downside is that despite years of effort, neither Sheri nor I have ever actually won the tournament. I personally get “set” so often I’m starting to think it’s less a card strategy and more of a personality trait.

The weather even cooperated this week. It’s been in the 60s, the ice is finally starting to break open on the lakes, and you can actually see water again instead of that gray frozen sheet we’ve been staring at for months. Around here that’s basically the official signal that spring has arrived. Of course, this is Minnesota, so there’s still a very real chance we could get a surprise blizzard in a few days. Until then, we’re doing our best to enjoy it while the sun’s out and the air doesn’t hurt our face.

@toddswank I started posting my life online in 1999. Now I’m learning AI, AI video, and agentic AI before the next wave rolls in without me. If I can figure this out, you can too. #AI #AgenticAI #AITools #FutureOfWork #SwankVentures ♬ The Champion - Lux-Inspira

Ghost Hunting the Streets of Minneapolis

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Swank) — Mon, 02 Mar 2026 01:20:00 +0000

Ghost Hunting the Streets of Minneapolis

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for March 1, 2026

Sunday morning we’re on the couch watching Team USA win Olympic gold, Jack Hughes takes a puck to the mouth, loses a tooth, and somehow looks tougher for it. USA! USA! A few hours later I bite into a completely harmless calzone and my 2011 crown decides it’s done serving this nation and drops onto my plate. Same tooth. He gets glory and a medal. I get to cut up my food in small pieces and a dentist appointment. America is beautiful.

Grandma Linda had a rough week. After months of hip pain, an MRI basically said, “Yeah… that thing’s shot.” Now she’s under strict orders not to put weight on her left leg until surgery in early April, which means a temporary stay in rehab. The good news? She’s handling it like a champ. The bad news? She’s 83 and benched. So now we hang out at the hottest new spot in town: Rehab. Great people. Zero happy hour.

Friday night we met Sue and Ron Korkowski at Copper Hen & Cakery for Restaurant Week, which is basically adult Christmas with wine pairings. The place is all cozy farmhouse vibes, scratch kitchen, local ingredients, and cupcakes staring at you from across the room like they know your weaknesses. I went beef bread and tandori chicken, which sounds aggressive but tasted like Minnesota met India and decided to hug it out. It was the special, which is perfect because I only feel adventurous when it’s pre-approved and discounted.

The main reason we were getting together was for the Candlelight Ghost Tour aboard the Minneapolis Trolley. We started our adventure at the Pillsbury Club, grabbed our boarding passes, and headed out into the Minneapolis night with zero idea what we were about to hear. Flickering candlelight, creaky historic streets, and stories of haunted houses. Nothing bonds friends faster than willingly climbing onto a trolley to go look for ghosts in February.

This was our first trip on the Minneapolis Trolley, a decommissioned New Orleans car lovingly restored and now cruising Minneapolis like it owns the place. It started as a weekend hop on hop off ride with a live narrator spinning stories about railroads, lumber mills, architecture, and all the drama that built this city. They offer brewery tours, historic homes, and holiday rides. We read all that and immediately chose the Candlelight Ghost Tour because apparently history is better when someone might still be haunting it.

They handed us fake light up candles, which is smart because apparently real fire and historic buildings don’t mix. We rolled through dark corners of Minneapolis hearing stories about haunted houses while clutching our plastic flames. Then they gave us these neon glasses that I’m pretty sure were either for “enhanced paranormal activity” or just to make middle aged adults look ridiculous on purpose. Either way, we committed.

Cole was our guide for the Ghost Tour, and the guy did not phone it in. Full commitment. Dramatic pauses. Perfect haunted eye contact. As we rolled through downtown and over to Nicollet Island, he told stories of turn of the century murders, mysterious deaths, and sightings that still rattle people who live there. The trolley lights dimmed, the city got quieter, and suddenly every historic building looked like it had secrets. Cole didn’t just tell ghost stories. He performed them.

One of the stops was the Oakland Apartments, built in 1889, which looks charming until you hear about the suicides, murders, and a basement spirit that apparently decided, “I’m staying.” Residents talk about whispers, cold spots, and the original janitor who never really left his post. And there I am realizing the big silver building behind it used to be my old Oracle office. I worked there every day for years and had no idea I was spending my 9 to 5 next to a haunted basement. That feels like something HR should mention.

This is the actual basement that hasn't changed since it was built. The boiler room where the old janitor supposedly still hangs around, guarding his furnace like it’s a union job he never retired from. Dark stone walls. Relics that look like nobody’s touched them since 1923. And here’s the part that got me: this is where current residents go to do laundry. We even asked one woman if she’s seen a ghost. “No,” she said. “But I hear things.” Fantastic. Imagine folding towels next to a haunted boiler while a trolley full of tourists comes in to see dead people.

Our tour wrapped up at 300 Clifton, this stunning historic mansion tucked right into downtown like it’s been quietly judging modern architecture for a century. Built in 1908 and now a restored bed and breakfast, it’s all carved wood, chandeliers, fireplaces, and old money energy. The ghost stories were great, but seeing these preserved homes up close was just as cool. Minneapolis hides some serious gems behind very normal looking streets.

If I learned anything, it’s this: every beautiful place has a story, and not all of them end neatly. Cities aren’t just glass towers and brunch spots. They’re layers of ambition, tragedy, reinvention, and yes, maybe a lingering janitor or two. We came for ghosts, but we left remembering that history sticks around whether you believe in it or not.

Purple Reign Returns to Target Center

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Swank) — Sun, 22 Feb 2026 19:39:00 +0000

Purple Reign Returns to Target Center

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for February 22, 2026

Last weekend we drove a truck onto Prior Lake like that’s a completely reasonable life choice. It was in the 50s. Snow melting. Guys in hoodies. And we’re rolling 6,000 pounds of machinery onto “two feet of ice,” which everyone confidently assures you is safe while casually mentioning they once saw a car go through in 1998. Ice fishing is hilarious. You sit in a heated trailer on a frozen lake convincing yourself you’re outdoorsy. Still, there’s something about being out there together that makes the risk feel worth it.

The Walters family ice house isn’t an ice house. It’s a cabin that just happens to have holes in the floor into the abyss. Granite counters, wood walls, heat cranked… meanwhile you’re casually fishing over 20 feet of dark water like that’s normal. We saw photos of Dan the day before hauling in monster pike, so naturally the Swank family showed up and performed a live demonstration of how to catch absolutely nothing. Jen’s over there stacking crappie like a pro. Us? Moral support. Once again, not our night.

Walking out onto the ice at night, it was quiet enough to hear your boots squeak and your confidence fade a little. Then you look up and Mystic Lake is firing beams into the sky like Batman just moved to Prior Lake. Out there in the dark, the lake feels endless and calm, and those lights remind you civilization is still humming along somewhere. Or maybe it’s just a billion-dollar tractor beam gently guiding us to come inside and donate our paycheck to the slots.

Friday night we hit Target Center to watch the 34–22 Wolves host a 19–35 Mavericks team limping in on a losing streak, missing basically everyone you’d pay to see. First game back after All-Star weekend, so we were expecting energy… or at least functioning legs. Luke rolled with me, and Miss Sheri, loyal to a fault, bought a solo seat in the nosebleeds. We couldn’t see her, but we could definitely hear her swearing at the refs from across the arena. True love.

Friday night was Prince Night at Target Center, which is ironic because Prince spent his whole life fighting to control his music and now his estate slaps “Let’s Go Crazy” on anything with a pulse. Still, it’s pretty cool hearing his songs blasting before tipoff and during every timeout like the building’s been possessed by Paisley Park. At halftime they brought out Judith Hill, his longtime collaborator, and for a few minutes it felt less like a promo night and more like Minneapolis remembering who we were lucky enough to have.

First game back after All-Star weekend and Ant walks out with the MVP trophy like it’s just another accessory. He dropped 32 in that new USA vs. World format and made it look routine. Now he’s back home, raising the Kobe Bryant Trophy before tipoff while the crowd loses its mind. Twenty-three years old and already carrying the franchise like this. At some point you stop asking if he’s special and start asking if league MVP is next.

We bought these tickets thinking we’d get to see their hotshot rookie Cooper Flagg in person. First chance. Then we find out Flagg was hurt. Okay. Fine. Then it’s no Luka. No Anthony Davis. No Kyrie. At that point you start checking if the mascot is questionable too. Felt a little ripped off. But then you remember we’ve got Naz Reid. Undrafted. Sixth Man of the Year. Walking bucket. Built like a tight end with a jumper. If the stars don’t show, Naz has no problem becoming one.

This was our first chance to see the newest Wolf, Ayo Dosunmu, in person. I’ve been fired up about him since the Chicago trade. Long, strong, can shoot it, can defend, feels like a steal. Didn’t have a huge night, but you could see flashes. The confidence. The burst. The moments where you lean forward a little in your seat. Sometimes the box score lies. I still think when things tighten up in the playoffs, he’s going to matter.

First game back after the break and Ant drops 40 like he was still in All-Star mode. We built a 17-point lead, tried to give it back, then remembered we’re actually good. Dallas took their 10th straight loss and headed for the exits. Prince blasted all night, purple everywhere, and for a few hours Target Center felt electric. Maybe that’s the theme of the week. Work hard, play loud, and when it’s winning time… let’s go crazy.

@toddswank Turns out he was actually snagged on a line from one of the other holes! Felt like a big one though!! #icefishing #priorlake #snag #theonethatgotaway ♬ original sound - Todd Swank

@toddswank Let’s go Timberwolves! #prince #minnesota #timberwolves #cityedition ♬ original sound - Todd Swank

32 Years Together. Still Our Greatest Adventure.

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Swank) — Mon, 16 Feb 2026 16:40:00 +0000

32 Years Together. Still Our Greatest Adventure.

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for February 15, 2026

Miss Sheri and I just wrapped a 5-day cruise on Wonder of the Seas to celebrate 32 years of marriage. Thirty-two Years. I honestly don’t know if that makes her loyal, patient, or clinically optimistic. She’s survived my ideas, my volume, and at least three different “this is the next big thing” phases. But hey — if you’re going to put up with me for three decades, you might as well get upgraded to balcony views and turquoise water. Turns out the real wonder isn’t the ship. It’s her.

We went on the cruise with our good friends Tom and Kellie Wolf — friends since Tom coached Luke and Avery in elementary school. The boys didn’t make the NBA, but we kept the coach anyway. That’s loyalty. First time traveling together, which is always risky when one member of the group (me) runs on high volume and questionable ideas. Turns out we survived five days, no one went overboard, and we’re still friends (I think!). That’s a win.

We launched out of Miami and spent our first night roaming South Beach like responsible adults with no responsibilities. Completely by accident, I wandered into the Miami Ink tattoo shop — first time back since I got inked there during the TLC show days. They’ve moved a few doors down, I didn’t recognize a soul, but the vibe was the same. Same walls, same energy, same flashbacks to when I thought reality TV fame was my next career move. Good times.

I’m posting the original video. I still can’t believe it’s been more than 18 years since we flew to Miami so I could get tattooed on a reality TV show. Eighteen years. Still one of the favorite days of my life. There’s something about cameras, bright lights, and a needle buzzing your arm that really makes you feel alive. It was my biggest taste of fame, and I’ve basically been waiting for a Hollywood producer to call ever since. One of these days.

Sunday we woke up way too early to board the ship like it was the first day of school, except with sunscreen. By afternoon we were sailing out of Miami toward CocoCay and Nassau, waving at the skyline like we were in a movie montage. The weather was perfect, the food and drinks kept showing up, and the activity list was longer than my attention span. For five days, our biggest stress was deciding what to do next. That’s a pretty good problem to have.

One of the best—or most dangerous—things about a cruise is “all inclusive.” Translation: at any given moment we could wander into one of twelve restaurants and make poor but delicious decisions. And every night? Multi-course dinner in the main dining room like we were food critics with no deadlines. It was glorious. It was excessive. It was absolutely predictable. Now it’s time to return to the weight-loss plan and pretend none of those chocolate desserts ever happened.

Every night in the main dining room, these two legends, Anak and Gede from Indonesia, took care of us like we were royalty with questionable judgment. Then they casually mentioned they work seven months straight. Eleven to thirteen hours a day. No days off. That’s not “hustle culture.” That’s endurance. Meanwhile, I needed a nap after walking to the buffet. Grateful doesn’t even cover it. Absolute pros.

Every night after dinner we hit a different show — ice skating, high diving, singing, comedy. And then there was the action-adventure one where they sent drones and large flying devices over the audience like we were part of the stunt. Everyone else was clapping. I was calculating trajectory angles in case something dropped from the ceiling. It was impressive. It was loud. It was slightly terrifying. And yes… I’d absolutely go again.

The AquaTheater diving show is basically the Olympics meets controlled chaos. These athletes launch themselves off platforms that look irresponsibly high into a pool that looks aggressively small. Lights flashing, music pumping, ocean right there behind them. And I can’t help it — my brain immediately goes, “What if a random tidal wave just rolls in right now?” Everyone else is clapping. I’m scanning the horizon like I’m in a disaster movie. Still… unbelievable talent.

We watched The Effectors II: Crash ’n’ Burn, which is basically a superhero sequel on a cruise ship with drones. They had to stop the show twice for technical difficulties, which is never what you want to hear before they launch 100 flying objects over your head. At one point a massive, life-sized drone hovered above the crowd on cables. Everyone else was cheering. I was replaying the words “technical difficulties” in my head and calculating impact zones. Still… wildly impressive.

The ice skating show was no joke. The rink isn’t huge — it’s basically a very ambitious frozen living room — but these skaters acted like they were in the Olympics. Spins, flips, full human tosses, costumes that looked like they raided a Broadway warehouse. At one point I realized they’re doing this on a moving ship… on ice. Meanwhile, I can barely walk across my driveway in January. Legitimate talent.

Of course Miss Sheri and I had to jump into karaoke. Cruise ship audiences are extremely supportive, especially after a few drinks, which gives me just enough confidence to believe a record deal is imminent. The only flaw in this plan? I can’t really sing. I can, however, fire up a crowd like I’m running for office. Sheri’s the one with actual talent. She even told the audience it was our 32nd anniversary and had them cheering like we’d just won something. Absolute pro.

We almost had as much fun off the boat as on it. Royal Caribbean literally bought their own island — CocoCay — which is either genius hospitality or the greatest vertical integration play in vacation history. You’re still on the drink package, still swiping your SeaPass, just now with palm trees. Cynical? Sure. Effective? Absolutely. And I’ll take a clean, organized island over dodging aggressive street vendors any day. It’s corporate paradise… and it works.

I’ve always wanted to try a glass bottom boat, so when it popped up as an option, I was in. Expectations? Manageable. I was picturing murky water and one confused fish. Instead, we got clear views and actual marine life. The best part though? The tour guides — native islanders who knew the water like it was their backyard. Funny, sharp, and genuinely knowledgeable. Way better than just staring at water and guessing what we’re seeing.

It was way cooler than I expected. Fish everywhere, sea urchins, sea biscuits, sea dollars, sea cucumbers — basically the entire “Sea” section of the dictionary. Then a massive stingray glides by like it owns the place. And just when you think it’s a wholesome nature tour, they casually point out two separate plane wrecks from drug runners who didn’t stick the landing. Nothing like tropical beauty mixed with a little true crime. Vacation with layers.

Nassau was… educational. The “tour” promised Atlantis, Fort Fincastle, Queen’s Staircase. Technically we saw them — from the parking lot. No going inside. Instead we got dropped at a rum cake shop in the middle of nowhere and a flea market where we were the only customers, which apparently activates Predator Mode for vendors. Razor wire everywhere. I asked about crime. Guide goes, “Oh that? Eighties cocaine.” Nothing says paradise like vintage crackhead infrastructure.

The Queen’s Staircase was actually impressive. Sixty-some steps carved out of solid limestone by hand — you can feel the history down there, even if you’re just taking it in from the bottom. The rest of the crew did the climb and came back with the same report: cool site, great photos, legit worth seeing. The punchline? At the top it basically funnels you straight into… more street vendors. Not sure the Queen had to navigate that.

One bright spot in Nassau? John Watling’s Distillery. Historic estate from 1789, hand-crafted small-batch rum, lush gardens… the whole “respectable culture” package. They walk you through barrels and aging like you’re about to start your own pirate side hustle. Then they land the plane with Piña Coladas at the Tavern. Complimentary tour, generous pours. Suddenly the bus excursion felt like a brilliant strategic decision. History is nice. Frozen rum drinks are nicer.

There’s something humbling about standing on a floating city, staring at water so blue it looks fake, realizing the world is bigger than your routine. We laughed, ate too much, saw things we never would’ve seen from our living room in Prior Lake. Royal Caribbean does it right. Big, bold, unapologetic. It gets you out there. And sometimes that’s exactly what you need.

@toddswank We were still waiting to launch. This is the cruise ship that was next to us already launching. #wonderoftheseas #launch #cruise #cruiseship #MSC ♬ original sound - Todd Swank

@toddswank Something Big is Happening. AI Disruption will be Bigger than Covid was in 2020. Ignore it or learn it. Your call. #AI #FutureOfWork #TechTok #LearnAI #Innovation ♬ The Champion - Lux-Inspira

Target Center Date Night, Wolves Gonna Wolves

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Swank) — Sat, 07 Feb 2026 22:39:00 +0000

Target Center Date Night, Wolves Gonna Wolves

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for February 7, 2026

On Friday night, Miss Sheri and I found ourselves at Target Center again, doing what we do, smiling, yelling, and pretending we’ve learned anything from years of Minnesota sports. The Timberwolves have been up and down all season, but coming off their first win in Toronto in more than 20 years, this one felt like a no-brainer. The Pelicans were 13–40. At home. What could go wrong? Turns out, plenty. Same Wolves energy, same emotional whiplash, but it didn’t really matter, because hanging out with my awesome wife, soaking in the noise, and watching this team together still feels like a pretty great Friday night.

On Thursday the Timberwolves traded for Ayo Dosunmu. I didn’t know much about him before, but from everything I’ve read it sounds like they might’ve pulled off an actual steal. We were hoping to see his debut, but apparently the plan is to ease him in first, which feels responsible and therefore slightly suspicious. Still, it’s nice to believe the Wolves made a smart, boring move that helps instead of a flashy one that explodes later.

This was one of those games the Wolves absolutely should’ve won, which of course meant they sleepwalked through defense, treated effort like an optional upgrade, and lost 119–115. They were up 18 in the second half, because Minnesota loves a head start before the collapse. Zion lived in the paint like he paid rent, a Pelicans rookie turned into Ray Allen for a night, and the Wolves waited until the final minute to look interested. Ant scored 35, everyone else watched, and Target Center got another reminder that “should’ve won” is basically our team slogan.

@toddswank Let’s go Timberwolves!! #timberwolves #minnesota #nba ♬ original sound - Todd Swank

@toddswank AI agents are now hiring humans. Yes, really. #ArtificialIntelligence #TechTrends #FutureOfWork #RentaHuman #agenticai ♬ son original - Sebstation

Hands Up In The Middle Of Minnesota Winter

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Swank) — Sun, 01 Feb 2026 21:30:00 +0000

Hands Up In The Middle Of Minnesota Winter

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for February 1, 2026

Minnesota went full bully mode this week. Wind chills sat at 20 to 30 below and didn’t let up. I escaped to Denver for work, even if it was only one night. Still talking tech. Still talking AI. Just fewer layers. Warmer air. Winter lost a round, and that tiny dose of warmth was enough to reset my brain before heading back into the tundra.

Flying out, we passed right over Prior Lake. My house sits a little south and west of this view. From up here it finally clicked. We don’t live by lakes. We live in an ice cube tray. Somewhere in God’s freezer. One of these years I’m leaving Minnesota for the winter. I’ve been saying that since the Obama administration.

A quiet weekend overall. We did get out for dinner at PLate, which we hadn’t done in a while. No big plans. No rush. Just good food and time together. The steak was really good. The space felt comfortable. Exactly the right amount of effort for January.

I’ve been having a lot of conversations lately about whether we’re sitting in an asset bubble. Gold and silver have been on a tear. Then I walk into Costco and they’re selling gold bars like big-screen TVs. That usually feels like a signal. When the masses show up, the easy money already left. Right on cue, metals took a big selloff Friday. Probably coincidence. Probably also a decent time to think about selling.

Since we didn’t do much this weekend, I talked my wife into driving me out on the lake so I could get the ice-house shot. Even though the ice is quite solid after weeks of deep freeze, that logic still doesn’t comfort a non-swimmer like Miss Sheri. Convincing her to drive her SUV out there is always a negotiation. She sighed. She drove. I got the picture. I’m lucky she supports my weird little missions in life.

@toddswank Does OpenClaw plus MoltBook equal Skynet? How do I use it to get rich before that happens? #moltbook #skynet #openclaw #agenticai #terminator ♬ Powerful songs like action movie music - Tansa

Growling Instead of Singing at the Hop House Brewery

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Swank) — Mon, 26 Jan 2026 02:22:00 +0000

Growling Instead of Singing at the Hop House Brewery

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for January 25, 2026

We were bored on Wednesday night and heard something different was happening at Hop House Brewery at Mystic Lake. Hop House is a big, polished, modern brewery built like a sportsbook, with massive screens, a real stage, and the kind of setup that feels like it’s waiting for chaos. Sports betting isn’t legal in Minnesota yet, so instead of taking bets they’re experimenting, trying to figure out what actually pulls people in midweek. One strategy was impossible to miss. A karaoke contest. With a $2,500 grand prize.

Hop House isn’t messing around when it comes to live music. On weekends they bring in bands, so the place is built like a real performance venue, with a legit stage, high-end audio gear, and lighting that makes even amateurs feel briefly professional. We love karaoke and this place is a good fit for it.

I’d love to say we crushed it, but this is real life, not a Hallmark Christmas movie. Sheri has a genuinely beautiful voice. I mostly growl through my songs, which tends to surprise people who were expecting singing. There were a lot of talented performers, so we slipped out before the winner was announced, fairly confident our names weren’t involved. The contest runs through April, though, and the place is too fun to rule out a return. Especially if we can recruit a few brave Prior Lake friends to join us. Hint. Hint.

Thursday night took us to Target Center, where the Timberwolves were trying to shake off a three-game losing streak. Chicago was in town, the building was full, and the optimism level was high. We felt confident this was one of those nights where we could start winning again.

Miss Sheri joined me for the game, and I made the bold pregame decision to get a fresh haircut, turning my head into a highly reflective surface. Apparently it worked, because a buddy texted me midgame to say he spotted me on TV, guided entirely by the glare. If the Wolves ever need a backup arena light, I’m available.

The game sucked. The Wolves built a lead, got everyone comfortable, and then pulled the rug out late. Chicago finished on a 9–0 run. Minnesota lost 120-115. There were some good individual performances, which somehow made it more irritating. Fourth straight loss. Is a trade needed?

Friday night took us to the Savage Tap with the Browns and the Zitzewitzes, which is pretty much a guaranteed win. Good beer, zero pressure, and a guy named Woody playing guitar and singing classics like he’s been doing it forever. The kind of place where the music’s loud enough to feel alive but quiet enough to chat about movies and TV shows without shouting. Lots of laughs, questionable opinions, and the exact kind of night you wish you could schedule every week.

Ron and Kristie Myers were in the Twin Cities for their daughter Alyssa’s volleyball tournament, so we did the only reasonable thing and went out in 30-below windchill weather to cheer her on. That kind of cold doesn’t build character, it just tests friendships. A few games, a lot of yelling, and a great time with old buddies. Worth it.

As a bonus, I got a full immersion experience in middle school girls’ volleyball, which is way more intense than advertised. These girls are competitive, loud, and all business, with rallies full of sets, bumps, spikes, dinks, and the occasional perfectly timed doink. The energy never drops, and neither do the cheers, which arrive on cue after every big moment. Ace! Ace! Ace!

@toddswank It is darned cold in Minnesota! Alexa is trying to be cute and say Brrrr…she doesn’t quit get it! #ai #alexa #brrr #cold #minnesota ♬ The Office (Main Theme) - Knightsbridge

@toddswank I’m having a full out anxiety attack watching this guy climb a skyscraper on Netflix! #freesolo #skyscraper #netflix #alexhonnold #climb ♬ Danger - SoundAudio

Hiding From Winter at the St. Paul RV Show

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Swank) — Mon, 19 Jan 2026 03:04:00 +0000

Hiding from Winter at the St. Paul RV Show

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for January 18, 2026

Monday night we celebrated Abby’s birthday at Kona Grill in Eden Prairie. We like sushi, but not at full-price, mortgage-payment levels. The night completely turned when we discovered it was all-night happy hour. Suddenly everyone was relaxed, ordering freely, and feeling smarter than we actually are. Miss Sheri still hates seafood, but even she appreciated the financial victory.

Wednesday night took us down to Lonsdale with Luke, his roommates, and the Walters, which is always a reliable recipe for things getting louder than planned. It really went off the rails after Miss Sheri and I both won bingo, at which point we were yelling “Bingo” and “Social” like we were best friends with everyone in the room.

Friday night was a different kind of bingo at the Shakopee VFW with our Euchre crew. Music Bingo, where you play for random T-shirts and stray beer glasses behind the bar, which is exactly our level of prize ambition. The twist was finding out it was all country music, which listening to normally makes me throw up in my mouth a little. Still, with this group, it was impossible not to have a good time.

This past weekend we braved freezing temperatures to hit the St. Paul RV Show, one of Minnesota’s favorite winter traditions where hundreds of RVs are packed indoors so we can all pretend summer isn’t still months away.

I also ran into my old buddy and former coworker Rob Bauer, who I hadn’t seen in years. Seeing him alone was worth the price of admission, which, conveniently, was free.

Nothing wraps up the week quite like discovering a fully operational trout pond inside a convention center. It’s wholesome, a little redneck, and somehow makes perfect sense in the middle of winter. The kids made memories. The trout requested legal representation.

Kissing Goodbye to the 2025 Minnesota Vikings

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Swank) — Mon, 12 Jan 2026 01:01:00 +0000

Kissing Goodbye to the 2025 Minnesota Vikings

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for January 11, 2026

Last Sunday we made it to the Vikings–Packers finale, usually one of the hottest tickets in town, just not this year. The Vikings were already eliminated, the Packers were resting everyone with a pulse, and the playoff drama had officially left the building. We weren’t chasing hope, just maybe a little clarity on whether J.J. McCarthy is our quarterback of the future… or just another chapter in the ongoing Minnesota experiment.

I love going to games with my best girl, Miss Sheri. We’ve been Vikings fans together for 34 years, and there’s still nobody I’d rather suffer with on a Sunday afternoon. She’s sweet, loyal, and occasionally so vocal when things go sideways that I find myself quietly apologizing to the parents of nearby small children. Wouldn’t change a thing.

One genuinely cool moment was watching Justin Jefferson quietly make history. He hit 1,000 yards again, his sixth straight season, which only two other humans in NFL history have ever pulled off. Casual greatness, no drama, just doing impossible things while we all pretend we’re not spoiled having him on this team.

This was the J.J. McCarthy taunting play, which honestly was nice to see. A little edge, a little fire, a reminder he’s not just out there politely getting hit. Still a big question mark if he’s our guy next year, and an even bigger one if he can stay healthy, but there were flashes that made you pause. Vikings win it 16–3, and once again we head into the offseason doing what we do best… convincing ourselves that next year will definitely be the one.

On Tuesday I hopped a plane to Denver for three nights and three meetings, kicking off the new year on a high note. Three great customer conversations, a little thin air, and me out there proudly representing Oracle Cloud Infrastructure in the Mile High City.

This image is AI, but it’s pretty close to what I ran into that night. I left the hotel for dinner in a city I don’t know, and a couple miles in my phone suddenly died. That’s when I realized my charging cable was still back in the room. You don’t realize how dependent you are on your phone, especially for maps, until it’s gone. I went searching for a gas station, took a wrong turn in a construction zone, and ended up face-to-face with a concrete barrier, plus a couple cars that followed me in. I waved everyone backward, reset, and went looking for help… wondering how this all went sideways so fast.

Jeff and Jeff are two of our cloud engineering leaders, and they’re the secret weapon when it comes to convincing CIOs we’re the best AI cloud infrastructure out there. When you can back big claims with deep technical chops and real answers, the conversation changes fast, and I’m lucky to have guys like this in my corner.

This is pretty much my job in a nutshell: earn the meeting, make the case for why Oracle Cloud Infrastructure is the best out there, then say thank you over a really good meal. I get to talk tech, build real relationships, and spend time with smart people who don’t owe me anything. No wonder I’m gaining weight, but honestly, I’m grateful this is how I get to spend my days.

If This Is How 2025 Ends, 2026 Is in Trouble

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Swank) — Sat, 03 Jan 2026 23:56:00 +0000

If This Is How 2025 Ends, 2026 Is in Trouble

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for January 3, 2026

We’ve been busy. Like scrolling-through-your-camera-roll-asking-when-did-that-happen busy. The kind of busy where the holidays blur together and you’re not totally sure what day it is, but you’re very confident you didn’t sit still. So before I forget half of it, here’s how the final stretch of 2025 kicked off. This was Christmas Eve morning, starting the day early at church with Avery, Abby, and Luke to pause, reset, and remember the actual reason for the season… before immediately sprinting back into everything else that made the last two weeks feel like a highlight reel.

After church we went to lunch with Grandma Linda and then back to our place to open presents. Christmas without little kids around isn’t quite as magical. It’s calmer, quieter, and nobody’s tearing into wrapping paper like it’s a full-contact sport. Still great, just different. And yes, there was some quiet speculation about how many more Christmases it might stay this way, which is how I found myself silently rooting for the universe to do us a solid and let Miss Sheri get pregnant again.

This was our first Christmas with Avery and Abby as a married couple, so naturally we were thrilled to open a brand-new family wedding photo. Nothing says “welcome to the wall” like a professionally framed reminder that the day actually happened, everyone looked great, and we somehow pulled it all off. It’s equal parts sentimental, permanent, and proof that this whole marriage thing is officially real now.

Luke thought he had absolutely nailed Christmas. Knowing Avery is a former Minnesota Golden Gopher, he bought him a Max Brosmer Vikings jersey, fully convinced he was ahead of the curve. Brosmer, another ex-Gopher, had been signed as an undrafted free agent last offseason and was quietly hyped as the potential secret weapon when things started going sideways for J.J. McCarthy. Unfortunately, when Brosmer finally got his shot, it somehow went even worse. Much worse. By then the jersey was already locked in, so now we’re all rooting for a future redemption arc, because Luke made a bold call, and honestly, that confidence alone still counts as a win.

Ironically, Christmas Day brought us to U.S. Bank Stadium to watch the Vikings take on the Lions, with Max Brosmer starting again after J.J. McCarthy fractured his hand, which felt very on-brand for his season at this point. The good news was it barely mattered. The defense absolutely dismantled Detroit, forcing six turnovers and piling up five sacks while turning the game into a full-on holiday beatdown. Brosmer mostly focused on surviving, the offense did just enough, and the defense handled the rest, making the 23–10 win one of those rare Vikings games that was far more fun than stressful.

The real highlight of the day was the halftime show. Seeing Snoop Dogg take over U.S. Bank Stadium on Christmas felt surreal. I grew up on N.W.A. and Dr. Dre, so Snoop has been in steady rotation for basically my entire life, yet somehow this was the first time I’d ever seen him live. Watching him own an NFL stadium with that same effortless calm, decades deep into his career, was equal parts nostalgia and respect. Not flashy. Not forced. Just Snoop doing what Snoop does. Honestly, it felt like a Christmas miracle… FO shizzle.

The gifts kept giving when we were told we could go down on the field after the game. That excitement lasted right up until we learned that meant hanging around for another 45 minutes while the stadium slowly emptied. And once we finally got down there, it turned out to be exactly what you’d expect: a very large field, a lot of people wandering around, and absolutely no sign of Snoop Dogg, KOC, or Justin Jefferson anywhere. Still, credit where it’s due… the Christmas tree was pretty solid.

Luke was ready to get out of town, so we headed to Chicago for three nights to see what kind of trouble we could responsibly get into. We stayed in River North, which means everything is either a great restaurant, a questionable decision, or both. We did our homework, argued about deep dish like it mattered, dodged the L, and walked around pretending we knew where we were going. Just enough big-city chaos, neon, and winter grit to make it a perfect escape.

We were very intentional about our sightseeing choices. Classic architecture, great lighting, neutral territory. We made a point to avoid taking photos anywhere that could be considered even remotely controversial. Just a calm, drama free appreciation of the surroundings before moving along.

Saturday kicked off at the Museum of Science and Industry, which I loved as a kid and somehow love even more now. The Blue Paradox exhibit pulled me in immediately, massive curved screens, deep blue light, and an immersive setup that makes you forget where the floor ends and the wall begins. It’s beautiful and unsettling in equal measure, laying out the ocean plastic problem without shouting, just calmly making you sit with it. Naturally, we left feeling deeply reflective… and then pondered all of it while drinking a bottled water.

Also loved the space exhibits, especially the new SpaceX Dragon on display. Standing next to a flight-proven spacecraft that’s been to the ISS twice is one of those moments that quietly blows your mind. SpaceX has done more to move space exploration forward in a ridiculously short amount of time than just about anyone… which made it mildly fascinating that the exhibit focuses entirely on the machine, the missions, and the science, with absolutely no mention or photo of the guy who started the whole thing. Curious choice. Probably nothing to read into there.

One of our favorite things to do with Luke is catch live comedy, so a stop at Zanies Comedy Club felt overdue. Turns out we picked a good one. Zanies has been a Chicago comedy institution since the late ’70s and has hosted just about everyone before they were famous or right after they were unavoidable. Think proving-ground energy, low ceilings, tight room, nowhere to hide. We caught the Santa Spectacular, which was basically a lineup of sharp comics treating the holidays with the appropriate level of respect, which is none at all. Loud laughs, packed room, two-drink minimum doing its part, and that perfect feeling of walking out lighter than you walked in. Exactly what a comedy club is supposed to do.

We woke up Sunday and decided to give the Field Museum a shot. I’ll admit it, I went in a little skeptical, fully expecting a tasteful warehouse of stuffed animals frozen in eternal mid-pounce. Turns out I was very wrong. The Field is one of the world’s premier natural history museums, home to Sue, the largest and most complete T. rex ever discovered, plus jaw-dropping exhibits on ancient civilizations, evolution, gemstones, and creatures that absolutely did not sign up to be that terrifying. Somewhere between a 67-million-year-old dinosaur and artifacts pulled from every corner of the planet, I gained a whole new respect for the place. Still some stuffed animals, sure, but now backed by science, history, and enough awe to keep me quiet for at least ten minutes.

I’ve always been fascinated by sharks, so the idea of a megalodon is just absurd in the best way. Seeing these jaws in person really puts things in perspective, mostly that nature once built something whose mouth alone could qualify as a studio apartment. Staring at the sheer size of this thing is the kind of experience that should probably come with a warning label and a therapist on standby. That said, I’m still pretty confident I could take him. Not in the water, obviously. And not alive. Or moving. But conceptually? I like my chances.

We hit a lot of fun bars and restaurants on this trip, but I think we all agreed the Asian fusion buffet at TAO Chicago quietly ran away with the title. TAO is known for doing everything big, dramatic, and just a little over the top, and the food absolutely backed it up. I went in with a loose plan and immediately abandoned it in favor of oysters, sushi, prime rib, shrimp, desserts that deserved their own lighting, and several items I ate confidently without knowing what they were. The room alone feels like you accidentally wandered into a movie set, and by the end we were all full, impressed, and pretending we hadn’t already calculated how long it would take to walk off even a fraction of what we just ate.

We capped off the weekend with a visit to The Second City, which is basically a comedy factory that accidentally keeps producing legends. This is where people like Bill Murray, Tina Fey, and Steve Carell learned how to be funny. We saw The Best of the Second City: Celebrating 65 Years, which is exactly what it sounds like. A tight mix of sketch comedy, improv, and perfectly timed chaos that reminds you why this place matters. Smart, fast, and just reckless enough to feel alive. We walked out laughing, impressed, and quietly confident that if any of us had stuck around Chicago long enough, fame was probably inevitable.

After a whirlwind of travel, we capped off the year with an incredible opportunity to celebrate New Year’s Eve in Chaska at Mason and Lizzie Korkowski’s wedding. There’s something hard to beat about ringing in a new year surrounded by people who are clearly doing life right, dressed up, smiling big, and pulling off a night that felt equal parts elegant, joyful, and effortlessly fun. A beautiful couple, a perfect way to close out the year, and a pretty strong reminder that this is exactly how you want to welcome whatever comes next.

We already love any excuse to hang out with the Korkowski family, but spending New Year’s Eve with their extended clan was next level. Great people, lots of laughs, and an open bar that stayed open long enough to make everyone just a little more interesting and a lot more generous with compliments. Pure coincidence, I’m sure.

The next morning Miss Sheri informed me that I apparently told Ron he looked very handsome. More than once. In my defense, the guy cleans up extremely well and I was just being observational. Purely complimentary. Totally normal. Nothing to unpack here.

2025 definitely gave us a mixed bag of lessons, laughs, and a few head-scratching moments, but this New Year feels like the universe is quietly clearing its throat before doing something big. Call it optimism, intuition, or just leftover confidence from a night that involved questionable hats and good people, but 2026 feels loaded with possibility. Wishing you all a year full of momentum, wins you didn’t see coming, and at least one moment where you stop and think, “Yeah… this is working.”

@toddswank Snoop’s Halftime Holiday Show at US Bank Stadium. Christmas Day. 2025. #snoopdogg #christmas #minnesota #vikings #halftimeshow ♬ original sound - Todd Swank

@toddswank Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! #christmas #newyear #happiness #positivity #goals ♬ Whispers of Christmas - ViralMusic

@toddswank Steel built a region! #steel #chicago #industry ♬ original sound - Todd Swank

The Cold, Chaotic Sprint to Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Swank) — Mon, 22 Dec 2025 04:42:00 +0000

The Cold, Chaotic Sprint to Christmas

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for December 21, 2025

December 12 was Grandma Linda’s 83rd birthday, so we did what made sense. Dinner and a show at Mystic Lake, good food, loud rooms, and plenty of laughs. Mom has been dealing with more than her fair share lately, but she still shows up, still smiles, and still wants to be right in the middle of things with us. That alone says everything. Happy Birthday, mom!

When we heard there was a Beatles tribute show happening on the night of Grandma’s birthday, it felt like fate was doing us a small favor. Mom was always more of an Elvis fan, but the Beatles felt close enough to guaranteed joy that it was worth the gamble. Turns out, a birthday dinner followed by a loud, colorful night of familiar songs was exactly the right move.

What surprised us was how much Miss Sheri and I loved it too. We go to a lot of shows, but this one grabbed us fast. Before we knew it, we were singing along to Hey Jude, Yesterday, I Want to Hold Your Hand, and Yellow Submarine—Sheri hitting the notes, me providing volume, enthusiasm, and what I assume was a mild nuisance to everyone within a three-row radius. Great energy, big sound, and a reminder that some songs don’t age at all… even if the people singing them clearly have.

The next night we headed to Lindey’s Prime Steak House in Arden Hills with the Browns and the Zitzewitzes, a place that feels frozen in time in the best way possible. Big wood interior, old-school vibe, and steaks that show up massive enough to make you rethink your life choices. The menu is refreshingly simple. Do you want steak, or do you want steak? Our friends ordered theirs medium rare, one went full rare, and Miss Sheri and I quietly realized we may live a little further down the doneness spectrum. Either way, everyone was happy, the night was relaxed, and it was a great excuse to spend a few hours around people we enjoy.

We also caught an advanced screening of Song Sung Blue, which ended up meaning more to me than I expected. Tom D’Amato, played by Jim Belushi, was a longtime friend of my dad back in their Kmart manager days and later a friend of shortarmguy.com. We traded emails on and off for nearly 15 years. I remember him mentioning he managed a Neil Diamond tribute band called Lightning & Thunder, which I filed away as one of those fun facts you never expect to hear again. When I saw the trailer, I immediately thought of Tom and was genuinely delighted to discover he was part of the story. The movie itself was fantastic. I described it as the greatest Wisconsin love story ever told. I’ve always been a fan of Kate Hudson and she absolutely nails it here, with Hugh Jackman doing the same. Well worth seeing over Christmas break.

Friday night, Miss Sheri and I drove two hours down to Clear Lake, Iowa, to meet up with Krazy Kory at the Surf Ballroom. Two hours there, two hours back, all for a show that definitely wasn’t going to tuck us in gently. The Surf is pure rock-and-roll history, which made it even funnier watching a packed crowd settle in, knowing full well this was about to go way off the rails. Worth the drive, though we were already budgeting our energy for the return trip home before the lights even went down.

We were there to see Steve-O’s Crash & Burn Tour, which is less a traditional stand-up show and more a guided tour through his greatest hits of terrible decision-making. Part comedy, part storytelling, part video evidence that some ideas should never leave the brainstorming phase. I loved Jackass back in the day. Miss Sheri… not so much. And once the visuals started drifting into extended, deeply uncomfortable territory involving his own anatomy, she checked out fast while Krazy Kory and I laughed like middle-schoolers who definitely weren’t mature enough for this show. Not subtle. Not for everyone. Exactly what we expected.

Saturday took us to Buck Hill for Miss Sheri and my first skiing adventure in years, meeting up with Luke and Avery and Abby. The skiing part was fun. The wind on the chairlifts felt like it was personally offended by us being there. Things improved dramatically once we retreated to the car and upgraded everyone to full face masks, which turned misery into something almost enjoyable. Not every run was loved equally, but overall it was a cold, ridiculous, and surprisingly great way to spend the day with the kids.

A quick warm-up in the chalet before heading back out for a few more runs. Abby grabbed this picture of us with the boys—cold, tired, slightly overdressed, and still convincing ourselves we had another round in us. The last couple weeks were a blur of plans, miles, noise, and energy we absolutely did not budget correctly, but somehow that’s the whole point. Wishing everyone a Christmas filled with people you love and moments that feel special and incredible—even if you’re exhausted when they’re over.

@toddswank The HOTTEST Toy for Christmas! #christmas #toy #trend #gift #shop ♬ Christmas Music Nutcracker (Bass Boosted) - SNC

The 2025 Swank Family Christmas Letter

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Swank) — Sun, 14 Dec 2025 21:44:00 +0000

Merry Christmas from Team Swank—still standing, still laughing, and still shocked they let us adult unsupervised.

2025 opened the way most Swank years do: with a mix of chaos, comedy, and at least one doctor saying, “You again?” Between cardiology, pulmonology, and urology, we’ve basically unlocked the Mayo Clinic loyalty program. We’re one appointment away from a free smoothie. Through it all, we’re grateful every day is a gift—even when it feels like that gift is tube socks.

The highlight of our year? Hands down: Avery and Abby’s wedding. The big day was perfect—from heartfelt vows to a dance floor that could have used more oxygen tanks. We officially welcomed Abby into the family, though honestly, she’s felt like one of us since day one. Avery continues to crush it at Rocket Mortgage, still writing code and building features that make mortgages slightly less soul-crushing.

Luke’s still at Cyber Power Systems, working as a financial analyst and keeping the sales team honest—one expense report at a time. He builds spreadsheets that would make NASA jealous, but saves the real competition for fantasy football, fantasy basketball, and the occasional reckless parlay with Dad. He’s eyeing his first home in 2026, and if grit counts for anything, he’ll get there. We’re proud.

We said goodbye to a couple of beloved family members this year. Grandma Leona passed away after blessing us for 93 years with love, wit, and enough homemade cookies to fill a small bakery.

And Blue, our golden retriever and emotional support furball, crossed the rainbow bridge this fall. We like to think he’s up there now, tail wagging, judging us from above for giving his tennis ball to the neighbor dog.

Thankfully, 2025 gave us some high notes too. We went on incredible trips—Hawaii was a standout, with ocean views so magical even Todd forgot to check his email.

We also squeezed in weekend getaways, concerts, and our usual attempts to defy Minnesota weather by attending every Vikings and Timberwolves game possible. We cheer loud enough to be heard—just not by anyone who can do anything about it.

And now we head into 2026 with big dreams: Sheri plans to travel more, worry less, and finally learn how to pack light. Todd plans to build an AI-powered empire or at least finally organize the basement. Together, we plan to keep chasing joy, dodging doctors, and finding new ways to laugh when life throws us curveballs.

May your holidays be joyful, your spirits high, and your 2026 be filled with adventures.

The Swank Family

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like a Spectacular Minnesota Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Swank) — Mon, 08 Dec 2025 03:39:00 +0000

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like a Spectacular Minnesota Christmas

Todd Swank's Diary Update for December 7, 2025

Friday night dropped us right back into the Christmas Spectacular at River Valley Church in Apple Valley, our second year in a row, and somehow it hit even harder this time. The whole thing is this whirlwind of live music and enough Christmas energy to power the Mall of America for a week. It’s inspirational, it’s spiritual, it’s uplifting and it sneaks up on you in that good way where you suddenly realize you’re smiling like a kid again. Just an absolutely beautiful show that kicks the season into gear and reminds you why this time of year still matters.

Ted and Marcia rounded up the crew and invited us out, so we kicked things off with dinner at Newt’s, where the popcorn was flowing and the laughs were even louder. It’s one of those meals where the conversation bounces all over the place, everyone’s in a good mood and you remember why you actually like leaving the house in December. From there we headed to the show, still riding the energy from dinner, and the whole night turned into this perfect mix of fun, music and inspiration. A pretty great way to launch the weekend.

Miss Sheri and I are heading into our 34th Christmas together, which is impressive considering she’s had three decades to realize what she’s working with. We hit 31 years of marriage in 2025, and somehow she still makes the season brighter just by showing up. Sweet enough to warm your heart, sarcastic enough to keep me honest. Perfect combo.

Sunday brought us back to US Bank Stadium, because what else are Vikings fans gonna do but show up and hope for the best? It’s been a tough season, no sugarcoating it, but we still walked in thinking maybe this would be the one that turns things around. The stadium looked great, the crowd was fired up and, for a moment, it felt like anything was possible. Minnesota optimism is undefeated, even if the team isn’t.

It was Avery’s turn to join me at the game, and of course it happened to be about ten below outside, because Minnesota likes to keep us humble. Getting there wasn’t exactly a joyride, but we hopped on the light rail and it dropped us right at the stadium doors, saving us from turning into father-son popsicles. Cold or not, always fun getting to take him to a game.

Miss Sheri and Luke ended up having their own little adventure. They heard Minnesota Hall of Famer John Randle was at Launch Pad Golf, so they made a beeline over to meet him and launch a few drives into the snowy abyss. Randle’s one of the greatest defensive tackles ever, the face-painted, trash-talking spark plug who basically ran on pure chaos and quarterback fear, so getting a few minutes with him made their quick stop feel pretty legendary. They weren’t there long, but it definitely counted as a win for Team Sheri and Luke.

JJ McCarthy got the start again, which at this point feels like the right call. It’s been a rough couple of months watching him try to figure it out, but after last week in Seattle, we learned Max Brosmer isn’t exactly riding in on a white horse either. Might as well let the kid play the rest of the season and see if he’s going to grow into an NFL quarterback or if we need to start sketching out a new plan for next year.

Our opponent today was Jayden Daniels and the Washington Commanders. They’ve had plenty of their own challenges this season, which is a surprise after the electric year Daniels put together in 2024. Still, he’s fun to watch, and we were looking forward to seeing what he could do up close. Of course, that didn’t mean we wanted anything good to actually happen for them. Admire the talent, hope for the loss. Classic game-day mindset.

The Vikings finally gave us something to cheer about, unloading on Washington 31–0 and snapping that brutal losing streak with their first home win in months. After two weeks of looking completely lost, JJ McCarthy came out firing with three touchdowns and the kind of confidence we’ve been begging to see, while the defense grabbed three takeaways and sent Jayden Daniels to the sideline after shutting down the Commanders early. It doesn’t magically fix the season, but it does make the final stretch a lot more fun, and for one Sunday at least, Minnesota optimism actually paid off.

Turkey, Pie, and the First Icy Slap of Minnesota Winter

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Swank) — Mon, 01 Dec 2025 01:21:00 +0000

Turkey, Pie, and the First Icy Slap of Minnesota Winter

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for November 30, 2025

We got our first real snowfall of the season this week, just enough to cover Prior Lake and everything around it in that delightful blanket of Minnesota reality. The lake isn’t frozen yet, but the evil white stuff showed up anyway like it had a schedule to keep. Every year I swear this is my last winter here, and every spring I magically forget I ever said that. It’s a toxic relationship at this point, but at least the scenery pretends to look peaceful while it ruins my mood.

Monday and Tuesday I was back at Mayo for my annual cardiology check on the aortic aneurysm. Luckily nothing has grown, so I get to breathe easy for another year. The MRI was the only hiccup. I thought I’d be calmer this time, but the second they slid me in, the panic hit like clockwork. It’s basically a human-sized oven you get shoved into while someone bangs pots and pans around your head. But the results were good, I made it through, and the panic button stayed untouched… somehow.

Tuesday night took us to Portia’s 60th birthday bash at Brianno’s Chart House, where we got dinner, bingo, and a reminder that none of us are getting any younger. Portia and Mike threw a great party, the jackpots were big enough to get the room buzzing, and of course I didn’t win a thing. Still, celebrating Portia hitting the big 6-0 with good friends made losing feel almost respectable.

For the first time in what feels like years, we actually spent Thanksgiving at home. Miss Sheri put together an incredible meal, and we got to share it with Luke, Avery, Abby, and Grandma Linda. It was a simple, easy weekend of food, family, and hanging out… and honestly, it reminded me how lucky we are to have moments like this. We really are blessed, and I’m grateful for every bit of it.

We used to spend Black Friday running around stores, but online shopping has pretty much cured us of that tradition. This year we wanted to do something a little more uplifting, so we headed to the Science Museum in St. Paul. We hadn’t been there in years, and it was fun wandering through the exhibits and pretending we remembered anything about dinosaurs. Definitely beats getting into fistfights over an $89 seventy-five-inch TV.

The highlight of the day was hitting the Omnitheater, home of that ridiculous 90-foot domed screen that basically swallows your entire field of vision and dares your eyes to keep up. We watched the new T. REX film, and it was genuinely cool, especially the moment they show how massive these things really were — the kind of shot that makes you realize we wouldn’t have survived five minutes back then.

Saturday afternoon brought us to Target Center, and of course we had to plow through a mini-blizzard to get there. Not enough snow to cancel anything, just enough to be annoying and make you question your life choices. Still, we made it, crossed our fingers, and hoped the Timberwolves would make the drive feel worth it.

I was there with my best gal, and Miss Sheri was fired up because she loves the Timberwolves. We were ready to cheer, yell, and hopefully shake off a few of the extra holiday calories we’d been hauling around since Thursday.

We were hopeful the Wolves would get back to their winning ways, especially after dropping three straight where they kept blowing big leads to the Suns and Kings and then let OKC finish them off in the final minutes. It’s been a rough little stretch, the kind that makes you wonder if the team secretly hates prosperity, but we showed up anyway hoping this would be the night they remembered how to close a game.

The Wolves pulled out a 119–115 win, thanks to Ant dropping 39 and finally taking down a winning team for the first time this season. After a week of snow, doctor visits, holiday food comas, family time, and everything else life threw at us, it felt pretty great to cap it all off with a solid Minnesota win. Now if we could just figure out how to get the Vikings to do the same, this state might actually let us enjoy sports again.

@toddswank The Science Museum of Minnesota is now much more exciting when we can use AI to bring everything to life! #dinosaurs #science #museum #imagetovideo #minnesota ♬ som original - DjNando

Luminiscence Lights Up the Minneapolis Basilica

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Swank) — Mon, 24 Nov 2025 00:02:00 +0000

Luminiscence Lights Up the Minneapolis Basilica

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for November 23, 2025

Caught up with my old Oracle Direct crew for lunch on Monday. George, Ross, and Orlando still bring the same chaotic energy they had back in the cube farm. Half the time we’re laughing, the other half we’re arguing about football like it’s a contact sport. Two Bears fans, one Packers fan, and me trying to defend the Vikings without pulling a hamstring. Still, for an hour, it felt like old times in the best way.

Saturday night we met up with our good friends Sue and Ron Korkowski before heading to this thing called Luminiscence at the Minneapolis Basilica. I didn’t really know what we were walking into, but since we were planning to spend the rest of the night inside a church, we figured it was only fair to stop at Hell’s Kitchen first. Seemed like a good chance to get a few sins in before the evening’s unofficial absolution.

This was my first-ever visit to the Basilica in Minneapolis, and I honestly didn’t know what to expect. The place is massive up close, way bigger and more detailed than anything you appreciate driving by on Hennepin. It was built in the early 1900s and became the first basilica in the entire United States, and it shows off with every inch of stone, arches, and ornate design. You walk in and immediately get why this building has its own reputation.

Once the lights dropped, the whole place came alive with this show called Luminiscence. It’s basically a full 360-degree light and sound takeover where the stone walls turn into moving artwork. They project color, stained-glass patterns, history, all of it, while a live choir and orchestra push the whole thing into goosebump territory. It started in Europe and sold out everywhere it went, and now Minneapolis gets to be the first stop in the U.S. You don’t just watch it. You feel the whole building wake up around you.

What really blew me away was the tech behind this thing. The video mapping was so precise it felt like the entire Basilica was changing shape right in front of us. Columns, statues, arches… everything looked like it was melting into new colors and textures. I’ve never seen a light show even close to this level. And with the live classical music filling the whole space – Bach, Beethoven, Vivaldi, all of it – the place didn’t just look different, it felt different. It was honestly the most impressive blend of tech and art I’ve ever experienced in a church or anywhere else for that matter.

I didn’t expect to enjoy this nearly as much as I did, but the whole thing was honestly incredible. The way the projections, narration and music pulled the Basilica’s history together made it feel less like a show and more like the building was telling its own story. Every time the colors shifted, you’d catch something new you hadn’t seen the first time. By the end, I just sat there taking it all in. Not bad for a random Saturday night in Minneapolis where I thought I was just going to look at some pretty lights.

We always have a great time with Sue and Ron, and this whole night was Sue’s idea. She’s constantly finding these fun, quirky experiences we never would’ve discovered on our own, and somehow they always end up being a blast. This one definitely landed. Nights like this remind me how lucky we are to have friends who pull us into new adventures. Can’t wait to see where the next one takes us.

@toddswank Aaron Rodgers is officially selling his Green Bay house… and honestly, even the place looks relieved. Steelers U-Haul is already warming up in the driveway. #A #AaronRodgersG #GreenBayP #PackersS #SteelersNFL ♬ Movin' Out (Anthony's Song) - Billy Joel

@toddswank Luminescence at The Basilica in Minneapolis is absolutely amazing! #luminescence #basilica #lightshow ♬ original sound - Todd Swank

Minnesota—We Put the ‘Ow’ in Home Crowd

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Swank) — Mon, 17 Nov 2025 03:36:00 +0000

Minnesota—We Put the ‘Ow’ in Home Crowd

Todd Swank's Diary for November 16, 2025

This week Mother Nature dropped a surprise northern lights show on us. I’m still not convinced I actually saw anything with my own eyes—outside it just looked like confused clouds trying to get their act together. But the second you point an iPhone at it, boom: instant technicolor magic. At this point I’m half-convinced the northern lights are just an Apple marketing feature to sell more phones.

Friday night we hit Music Bingo at the Shakopee VFW with friends from our Euchre crew. It’s just like regular bingo except the letters and numbers got replaced by every song you forgot you loved from the seventies through the nineties. We spent a couple hours singing our lungs out and competing for high-end luxury items like leftover T-shirts and random mugs. Honestly? Blast of a night.

Saturday night we rolled into Target Center to watch our beloved Timberwolves, who came in riding a four-game winning streak. Naturally, that meant we showed up with our hopes way too high—because nothing screams “Minnesota sports fan” like confidently assuming tonight will be the night everything goes right.

It was Prince Night at Target Center, which meant his giant symbol took over center court and they blasted clips of his music all game long. The funny part is Prince spent half his life fighting people who tried to commercialize his art… and now we’re basically one halftime show away from a “Purple Rain presented by Arby’s” sponsorship.

It was Luke’s turn to join me at the game. He’d actually been there the night before with his buddies and watched the Wolves roll to a big win, so I walked in thinking maybe his good luck would rub off on me. Spoiler: it did not.

Our season tickets are under my name, but every now and then Sheri gets these wild last-minute offers the team sends her because she’s bought seats in the past. They’re usually up in the rafters, but she doesn’t care—she just loves being there. And every so often, like tonight, the seats next to ours end up open and she gets to slide down and join us. Some nights the universe just gives you a wink and says, “Yeah, go ahead.”

The Nuggets rolled into town on their own six-game win streak, led by their not-to-be-named-but-definitely-hard-to-ignore superstar. Anytime Denver shows up, it feels like reopening an old playoff scar. These two teams have built a pretty spicy rivalry over the past few years, and you could feel it in the arena the second warmups ended. This wasn’t just another regular-season game — it was another chapter in the ongoing Wolves–Nuggets saga.

Things even got a little chippy when Julius Randle mixed it up with one of Denver’s big men. My favorite part of the whole scene, though, was Ant in the background with that little smirk on his face. I don’t know what he was thinking, but based on the size mismatch in front of him, I’m guessing it was something like, “Yeah… Julius can handle this one. I’m good right here.”

Anthony Edwards had one of those nights where nothing seemed to fall the way it normally does. He still put up 26 points, but it came on a tough 8-for-23 shooting night, including 0-for-8 from three. To his credit, he kept attacking, got to the line 12 times, and added six assists — but for a guy who usually lights up Denver, this one just wasn’t his usual level. Some nights the shots drop. Some nights the basketball gods put a lid on the rim. Tonight felt like the latter.

The Denver Nuggets left town still unbeaten on their current run, edging the Minnesota Timberwolves 123–112. Nikola Jokić put up a triple-double with 27 points, 12 rebounds and 11 assists, while Denver also got 23 points apiece from Aaron Gordon, Jamal Murray and Tim Hardaway Jr.. The Wolves fought back to lead at halftime, but couldn’t keep it going into the final quarter and the Nuggets pulled away when it mattered. Watching your home team fall like that? Yeah… it sucks.

It was also Luke’s turn to join me for the Vikings game, giving him the full weekend trifecta of Minnesota pro sports. Some people call that lucky… others would call it a glutton for punishment. Around here, we just call it “quality time.”

Before the game started I ran into Ted Minette in the concourse — a guy I went to high school with and probably haven’t seen in person since dial-up internet was a thing. We had about three minutes to catch up, grabbed a quick picture, and then went our separate ways like two comets passing in the night. Odds are I won’t see him again until 2035, but hey… it was fun while it lasted.

The Vikings have been a tough team to watch this year, but we still walked into this one with a little hope in our pockets. After all, they pulled off a last-minute miracle against the Bears earlier this season, so maybe lightning would strike twice. And early on, it looked like Chicago’s quarterback was going to be running for his life all afternoon — exactly the kind of chaos we were hoping for.

In the end, Minnesota sports nailed the weekend double-gut-punch. The Wolves sputtered, the Vikings followed, and J.J. McCarthy isn’t exactly selling “QB of the Future” right now. They even teased us with a gorgeous go-ahead touchdown before collapsing and handing Chicago a walk-off field goal. Being a Minnesota fan isn’t for the weak… but at this point, pain just feels like part of the package.

@toddswank This comet keeps doing things comets aren’t supposed to do, and everyone’s acting like it’s fine. I’m just here watching the skies with popcorn. #3IATLAS #Space #CometWatch #2026Vibes #invasion ♬ MONTAGEM-FATAL PR - Rushex & MKXILLA

@toddswank Killer raccoon! #raccoon ♬ Danger - SoundAudio

@toddswank Someone just liked this old video of mine which made me think it would be fun to repost! The Kentucky Fried Chicken Rap from 1988! #kfc #kentuckyfriendchicken #rap #eighties #commercial ♬ original sound - Todd Swank

Singing the Blues for the Minnesota Vikings

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Swank) — Mon, 10 Nov 2025 03:41:00 +0000

Singing the Blues for the Minnesota Vikings

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for November 9, 2025

It’s been a busy stretch at work lately, and this week had me making a quick hop to Chicago for a customer visit. Snapped this shot as we came in for landing — one of those rare moments where the city actually looks peaceful right before you remember how much traffic is waiting down there.

My meeting this week was in Lombard, Illinois. Being on the road for work means I get to see a lot of places I don’t usually visit, so I try to stay somewhere close to the customer site. When I pulled into the hotel and saw a Harry Caray’s Steakhouse attached to the lobby, I figured my dinner plans had just been decided for me.

The road can get a little lonely when you’re dining solo, but this meal hit all the right notes. I sat down, glanced up at the big screen, and there were my Timberwolves playing the Knicks — instant company. The waitress talked me into the Filet Oscar, a mix of steak, crab, and asparagus with rich béarnaise and bordelaise sauces. Anytime your dinner requires a blowtorch, you know you picked the right thing off the menu.

After grinding through a full day of work on Friday, I yelled to Miss Sheri that I needed to get out of the house and do something before my brain melted. Right then, Luke called to say he was heading to dinner with the Walters family and asked if we wanted to join. Perfect timing. Then, in a small-world twist, we walked into Copper Pint and found Avery and Abby there on their own date night. Either great minds think alike or we all hit the same “I’m not cooking tonight” wall at the exact same time.

One of my favorite things about the Walters family is they love karaoke as much as we do. So after dinner, we rolled over to the Shakopee Legion to belt out a few tunes. It wasn’t exactly a packed house — just the kind of place where most people are too busy talking to notice anyone singing. I take that as a challenge. If I can’t impress them with talent, I’ll win them over with volume, enthusiasm, and the occasional “Who’s ready to party?!” strategically yelled between verses.

Sunday morning brought Avery and me to U.S. Bank Stadium for the Vikings game. It was one of those brisk Minnesota mornings where the thermometer said low 20s, but the wind said “you’re not dressed right.” By the time we made the long, frozen trek from the car to our seats, we were more than ready to thaw out and watch some great football. Unfortunately, only half of that plan worked out.

We were pumped to see J.J. McCarthy play at home after his breakout game in Detroit last week, where he threw two touchdowns, ran one in himself, and looked like the future of the franchise. The kid had swagger, and U.S. Bank Stadium was buzzing when he ran onto the field — the crowd roaring, smoke flying, the whole place feeling like maybe this was the start of something special. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. But for a minute there, it really felt like it could be.

The game actually started out great! The defense forced a three-and-out, and J.J. McCarthy came out looking like he was ready to carve up the Ravens’ secondary. On the opening drive, he went 3-for-4 with 76 yards, including a beautiful deep ball to Jalen Nailor that set up Aaron Jones for an easy four-yard touchdown. The place was electric, and for a brief, shining moment, we thought we were watching the start of something big. Little did we know… that was basically the highlight reel.

We probably should’ve known better than to get too optimistic. Lamar Jackson has made a habit of steamrolling the NFC — now 25–5 against them, including 14–1 on the road. The guy’s basically allergic to losing once he crosses conference lines. So yeah, expecting the Vikings to slow him down might’ve been a little ambitious. Let’s just say, history didn’t break in our favor.

It’s easy to forget that J.J. McCarthy is basically still a rookie — last year lost to injury, this year learning on the fly. And like most rookie stories, this one came with some brutal chapters. Two interceptions (and a third that only escaped by a replay review), a few missed open receivers, and plenty of drives that ended with frustration instead of fireworks. The Vikings eventually stumbled to a 27–19 loss, the kind that hurts more because it felt winnable. Growing pains are expected with a young quarterback — but for Vikings fans, the real pain is realizing how familiar it all feels.

A Wedding in Waverly

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Swank) — Mon, 03 Nov 2025 03:22:00 +0000

A Wedding in Waverly

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for November 2, 2025

Hard to believe the NBA regular season is already here. We went with better seats and fewer games this year — last season’s half-season plan was too much. After back-to-back trips to the Western Conference Finals, we showed up for the home opener excited to see what Anthony Edwards and the Timberwolves would do next.

It was the home opener against the Pacers, and I brought my best gal with me. The boys don’t have much interest in Sunday night games anymore—which is fine by me. She’s way cuter, laughs at my jokes, and occasionally flirts with me when the Wolves hit a three.

Just our luck—three minutes into the game, Anthony Edwards grabbed his hamstring and limped off to the locker room. Out for the night. The whole arena groaned like we’d just been told beer prices went up. Thankfully, Julius Randle decided to take over and showed us why having another stud on the roster isn’t such a bad backup plan.

Even without Ant, the Wolves managed to hang on and beat the banged-up Pacers 114–110. Randle carried the load, Gobert grabbed everything in sight, and somehow we survived a fourth-quarter collapse that felt way too familiar. The new black-and-pine uniforms looked sharp, the crowd stayed loud, and we walked out feeling like this might actually be the year… which, of course, means we’re doomed.

Miss Sheri and I spent most of the week on the road, and one stop landed us in Green Bay for a full-day customer meeting. I wrapped it up with dinner inside Lambeau Field—which, as a lifelong Vikings fan, felt like eating dinner at my ex’s house while her new boyfriend showed off his Super Bowl rings. The meeting went great, but I had to keep my mouth shut since every single person there bleeds green and gold. I survived though. Years of Vikings disappointment prepared me perfectly for polite small talk with Packers fans.

Our next stop brought us to Waterloo, Iowa—just a short drive from my old college stomping grounds at UNI. Our hotel sat next to Crossroads Mall, which used to be the hangout spot when I was a student. Now it’s basically a ghost town with better parking. It’s wild how kids today will never know the thrill of aimlessly roaming a mall for hours, trying to look cool under fluorescent lights, and blowing all your money at Orange Julius. Honestly, they’re missing out.

While I’m off visiting customers, Miss Sheri turns every trip into a sightseeing adventure. In Green Bay, she hit the zoo and botanical gardens, and in Waterloo, she made a beeline for the John Deere Tractor Museum. Growing up on a farm, she’s always had a soft spot for the green and yellow. There’s just something timeless about John Deere—proof that even after a century of change, the heart of America still runs on diesel, dirt, and determination.

After my customer visits, we made our way to Waverly, Iowa, for the wedding of Luca and Jamie Myers. Luca’s dad, Ron, has been one of my best friends since high school, so it was great catching up and seeing his family again. We had dinner at Whiskey Road a couple nights before the wedding—good food, good friends, and that calm little window before everything turns into speeches, dancing, and mild panic.

Miss Sheri went to college at Wartburg in Waverly, so we spent some time wandering around campus while she revisited a few of her old haunts. Some places brought back great memories, and others looked completely different—like someone had remodeled her past without asking permission. Still, there’s something grounding about walking the same paths you did decades ago. It reminds you where you’ve been… and how far you’ve somehow managed to make it since.

The wedding was absolutely beautiful. It took place at Vilmar Church in Green, Iowa — a charming little spot pretty much surrounded by cornfields and gravel roads. The ceremony was more traditional than most we’ve been to lately, full of prayers, hymns, and heartfelt moments that actually made you slow down and take it all in. Luca and Jamie looked completely over the moon — young, happy, and just starting their big adventure together.

Luca and Jamie dismissed everyone row by row after the ceremony, so when they reached ours, I figured it was the perfect time to snag a photo. They looked a little caught off guard at first—probably not expecting a mid–receiving line ambush—but they laughed and happily posed anyway. It’s not every day you get a shot with a brand-new married couple still glowing from “I do.”

We got to sit with Joel and Jen at both the ceremony and the reception, which was a real treat since we hadn’t seen them in a couple of years. It was great catching up, laughing like no time had passed, and hearing about their own wedding plans for 2026. Can’t wait to celebrate with them when it’s their turn.

Going home to Iowa always stirs something in me. Maybe it’s the familiar faces, the endless fields, or just the slower rhythm that makes you breathe a little deeper. This trip was about all of that—catching up with old friends, celebrating young love, and realizing how fast time moves when you’re not paying attention. The faces get older, the hair gets grayer, but the laughs sound the same. There’s comfort in that—proof that no matter how far you go, pieces of home always stay with you.

@toddswank Let’s go, Timberwolves!! #minnesota #timberwolves #nba ♬ original sound - Todd Swank

@toddswank Timberwolves beat the Pacers 114-110 on 10/26/25z. #minnesota #timberwolves #pacers #nba ♬ He Got Game - Public Enemy

@toddswank Most families bond over dinner. We bond over whiffed drives and questionable swings. 🏌️‍♂️ Swank Family golf night at Launch Pad, Mystic Lake — skill optional, enthusiasm required. #FamilyFun #MinnesotaLife #GolfFails #MysticLake #Shakopee ♬ son original - Jbjumpingggg

Still Standing in the Purple Rain—Just With Less Hair and More Back Pain

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Swank) — Tue, 28 Oct 2025 00:31:00 +0000

Still Standing in the Purple Rain

Just With Less Hair and More Back Pain

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for October 27, 2025

Sorry I’m a day late with this week’s post. We had a little setback over the weekend when Grandma Linda wasn’t feeling right and ended up in the ER. She had to spend the night, but they took great care of her and she’s doing much better now. If the worst thing that came out of it was my blog post being delayed, I’ll take that trade every time.

Back in the mid-eighties, I used to cruise the streets of Clear Lake, Iowa, in my green Chevy Nova, windows down and a Prince cassette blaring through my not-so-fancy tape deck. Purple Rain was on constant rotation, and I belted out every lyric like I was auditioning for The Revolution. When I moved to the Twin Cities after college, I ended up living just twenty miles from Paisley Park—basically a dream for a die-hard fan like me. So when I heard Purple Rain was hitting the stage at the State Theatre before heading to Broadway, I jumped at the chance to grab front-row seats and relive my teenage glory days.

I’m happy to report the show was a blast! The cast nailed their portrayals of Prince, Apollonia, Morris Day, and the rest of the wild crew that made the late-‘70s and early-‘80s Twin Cities music scene so iconic. Before the show started, the director came out and told us this version is still evolving, with tweaks being made every night since opening week. Miss Sheri and I absolutely loved it—every song hit like a time machine. I’d forgotten just how many tracks from Purple Rain still live rent-free in my head.

If I had one critique, it’s that the second act leaned a little heavy on Prince’s tortured-artist phase—lots of angst, troubled parents, and brooding introspection. Or maybe that was just me being cranky for staying out late on a school night. Either way, once the music kicked back in for the finale, we were right back to rocking in our seats. Miss Sheri said parts of it felt like a strip show—I told her I didn’t see any problem with that. All in all, I’d highly recommend Purple Rain to anyone who’s ever shouted, “Let’s Go Crazy!” or maybe just “Let’s Get Nuts!”

The week started on a rough note watching my Vikings get shredded by the Eagles. Jalen Hurts threw for 326 yards and three touchdowns in a 28–22 win that didn’t feel quite that close. My Vikings may suck, but spending the afternoon with my son Luke made it all worth it. We might not have left the stadium with a win, but at least we both still have hope—and that’s what being a Vikings fan is all about… blind, beautiful, delusional hope.

We were actually at Purple Rain Thursday night while the Vikings were getting smoked 37–10 by the Chargers. I caught the first few series on my phone before the show started, then decided watching Prince was a much better use of my emotional energy than watching the purple and gold disappoint me again. Every buzz from my watch during the show just confirmed I’d made the right call. Maybe JJ McCarthy can save the season… or at least make watching this team hurt a little less.

Friday night we met up with Luke, Avery, and Abby for some “serious” golf swings at the new Launch Pad driving range outside Mystic Lake. We ate great food, drank better drinks, and launched balls straight into giant glowing targets like we actually knew what we were doing. Not a bad way to spend a Friday night—especially when nobody had to chase the balls afterward.

I actually made a couple of TikTok videos about this place right before and after it opened, and somehow they each pulled in nearly 250,000 views. Guess people really like golf—or maybe just watching other people embarrass themselves at it. I even mentioned my viral success to a few of the employees, half-expecting a free round or at least a complimentary Diet Coke. Sadly, no such luck. Still, it’s an awesome place—and I’d totally say that even if they had comped me.

Spending A Hard Day’s Night with Sir Paul

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Swank) — Mon, 20 Oct 2025 01:35:00 +0000

Spending A Hard Day’s Night with Sir Paul

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for October 19, 2025

It’s been a couple weeks since Avery and Abby’s wedding, and I’m still in catch-up mode. We grabbed dinner with Jeff, Cathy, and Robin before she flew back home to Hawaii. We saw everyone at the wedding, but that kind of whirlwind doesn’t leave much time to really talk. Sitting down with these three to share stories and laughs felt like the encore we didn’t know we needed.

We also took advantage of the unseasonably warm October weather and went out for a boat ride with Portia and Mike. The lake was calm, the sun was perfect, and Mike decided it was the ideal time for a swim. I admired his bravery from the safety of my seat — because nothing ruins a peaceful fall afternoon faster than hypothermia.

We also made it out to The Boardwalk in Shakopee with Tom and Kellie, which was a real treat since we always have such great conversations with them. The place was beautiful, the food was good, but the prices suggested they thought it was better than it actually was.

With the warmer weather hanging on, we’ve been trying to squeeze in as many hikes as we can before winter locks us in our igloos. The fall colors have been incredible—like God’s out here painting trees just to remind the rest of us how bad we are at art.

We went for a hike at Mississippi Gateway Regional Park in Brooklyn Park, where the trails follow the Mississippi River—America’s longest reminder that water always finds a way to get where it’s going, even if it takes a few million years.

We checked out the new Treetop Trail, a raised boardwalk that winds through the trees and gives some great views of the river and wetlands. It’s what we came to see, and it was really cool—just not very long. It was also pretty packed, which I’m guessing comes with being new and close to the Cities. Still, for free entertainment, it was a solid return on investment.

Friday night I finally got to see Paul McCartney perform at U.S. Bank Stadium. The man’s been on stage since the 1950s, and somehow this was my first time catching him live. I guess I like to take my time with things—some people see legends in their twenties, I wait until they’re eligible for every senior discount imaginable. Better late than never, right?

I was there as a guest of Dan and Jackson, which made the night even better. The tickets were actually Jackson’s birthday gift, and he was supposed to go with his mom and dad, but when Jen had to head to Florida for a friend’s funeral, they invited me to tag along. I felt pretty honored to be the pinch-hitter for such an epic show—and we had an absolute blast.

I’ve been to U.S. Bank Stadium for a bunch of Vikings games, but this was my first concert there—and it completely changed the vibe. The place was electric. The sound was surprisingly crisp for a giant football dome, and the lasers and lights turned it into something straight out of a sci-fi movie. For once, nobody left disappointed in the fourth quarter.

I’m not a big concert guy, but I absolutely loved this one. There were a few songs I didn’t recognize, but most were classics I grew up hearing—and somehow still remembered every word to. The three of us sang along all night to Hey Jude, Helter Skelter, Let It Be, Get Back—hit after hit after hit. Paul went hard for three straight hours without so much as a break, and the guy’s eighty-three. I just hope I’ve got half that energy left when I hit that age. What a legend.

@toddswank Exploring the new Mississippi Gateway Regional Park — where river vibes meet treetop trails 🌿🚣‍♂️ From canopy walks to kayak rides, this place is built for stories. #mississippi #River #MinnesotaParks #TreetopTrails #hikingtrails ♬ original sound - Todd Swank

@toddswank
Paul McCartney in Minneapolis. October 17, 2025
♬ original sound - Todd Swank

Avery & Abby’s Wedding: The Beginning of Happily Ever After

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Swank) — Mon, 13 Oct 2025 00:27:00 +0000

Avery & Abby’s Wedding: The Beginning of Happily Ever After

Todd Swank's Diary Entry for October 12, 2025

Last weekend was a whirlwind of joy, nerves, and enough logistics to make NASA blush. Months of planning all came together for Avery and Abby’s big day, and somehow, everything went off without a hitch—well, except for the one they intended. The ceremony was beautiful, the weather was perfect, and the smiles were real. We couldn’t be happier to officially welcome Abby into our family. She’s been part of our lives for a while now, but hearing her last name officially become “Swank” still hit differently.

My sister Tracy and her husband Dave were the first to roll into town, which gave us a little breathing room to enjoy some family time before the real chaos began. We even managed to sneak in a dinner at Charlie’s on Prior Wednesday night with Avery and Abby. It was nice having a calm evening together before the big weekend kicked into full gear.

We were definitely nervous about the weather. You never know what October in Minnesota is going to throw at you—it could be sunshine, sleet, or a full-on snow globe situation. The forecast teased us with a little rain early in the week, but by some miracle, it turned into perfect summer weather. We even managed a family boat ride on Prior Lake a couple of days before the ceremony, which might officially be the latest I’ve ever taken the boat out. I’m counting that as a wedding week miracle.

My other sister, Tammy, and her husband David made it to town on Friday, so we didn’t get quite as much hangout time with them beforehand. But maybe that made the time we did have together even better—we squeezed a lot of laughs and catching up into a short window, and it was great having them there to share such a special weekend.

We don’t get too many chances to have my mom and both of my sisters together in the same place these days, so this moment felt extra special. Whenever we do, it’s always filled with laughter, smiles, and that kind of easy joy that only comes from being with family. We really do have such good times together.

Miss Sheri’s brother and our niece Karli also joined us for the ceremony, which meant a lot. It’s always special when family makes the effort to travel and be part of a big day like this. We were so glad they could make the journey to celebrate with us and share in all the happiness.

At the rehearsal dinner, we had the chance to bring our family together with Abby’s, including her parents, Andrew and Andrea. We’d met them before, but this was the first time the rest of our crew got to connect. It turned out to be a marvelous evening where everyone genuinely seemed to get along—no small miracle considering how many Swanks were in one room. The food was great, the conversation flowed, and best of all, nobody brought up politics.

Unfortunately, not all of Luke and Avery’s cousins could make it to the wedding, but the ones who did showed up ready to represent the whole crew. And represent they did. By the end of the night, it felt like they’d packed a weekend’s worth of energy into a few hours. Let’s just say if laughter, dancing, and photo-bombing were Olympic events, this group would’ve brought home the gold for the family.

Soon enough, the big day arrived. One of my favorite parts was getting to spend most of it with my boys, Luke and Avery. The father of the groom doesn’t usually have a starring role in the ceremony, but I didn’t mind one bit. I got to hang out with Avery and his groomsmen while they got ready, and it was a blast watching Luke step up as best man. Seeing those two together in tuxes was one of those proud dad moments I won’t forget.

We got to sit down last before the wedding party made their entrance, so while we were waiting for the groom to arrive, I figured—why not make the most of the moment? I turned around and asked all our friends and family to pose for a quick picture. They nailed it. Everyone smiled, nobody blinked, and it turned out to be one of my favorite photos of the day.

It was a beautiful ceremony officiated by Abby’s Uncle Mike, and he did an incredible job capturing what makes marriage so meaningful. Watching Avery and Abby stand there in front of everyone they love, promising forever, was one of those moments that hits you right in the heart. It reminded me that real love isn’t just about finding the right person—it’s about choosing each other, every day, no matter what life throws your way.

Soon enough, we were back inside and ready for the reception. My family tends to get a little rowdy once the music starts and the drinks start flowing. Luckily, it turned into the perfect mix of laughter, dancing, and harmless chaos—the kind that reminds you why family gatherings are both exhausting and absolutely worth it.

Before the drinks and dancing got underway, Miss Sheri and I took the mic to give our speeches about how much we love Avery and how thrilled we are that he found Abby. We spent a lot of time debating our approach—Sheri leans toward heartfelt and emotional, while I tend to prefer something closer to a Netflix comedy special. In the end, we went with her plan… though I may have slipped in a few attempts at humor just to keep people from completely dissolving into tears. I think we struck a good balance—she made them cry, and I made them question why we were given a microphone in the first place.

I was really impressed with how well Avery and Abby planned the day and how smoothly they handled everything from start to finish. They worked together like they’d been doing this marriage thing for years already—every detail, every tradition, every little moment felt effortless. They managed to pull off the perfect balance between heartfelt and fun, and honestly, I don’t think it could have gone any better if we’d hired a Hollywood production crew.

Avery and Abby wanted to keep things small and personal, which made the day feel even more special. We were so grateful for the friends who were able to join us—every familiar face added to the warmth in the room. It was a beautiful celebration filled with laughter, love, and the kind of moments we’ll all remember for a long time.

We had a really nice mix of family, old friends, and friends of Luke and Avery’s from high school and college. It was great seeing so many familiar faces all in one place—each one tied to a different chapter of our lives. Weddings have a funny way of reminding you how many good memories you’ve collected along the way… and how lucky you are to still be adding new ones.

There’s something special about celebrating a big life moment surrounded by friends who’ve been part of your story along the way. Nights like this remind you that happiness isn’t just about the occasion—it’s about the people who show up to share it with you. Lots of laughter, plenty of smiles, and one more reminder that life’s best moments are even better when you don’t have to enjoy them alone.

We had friends and family travel both short and long distances to join us for Avery and Abby’s special day. Some came from Iowa, Texas, Georgia, Florida—even as far as Hawaii and London, England. It was incredible to look around and see how much love surrounded Avery and Abby. Moments like this remind us just how blessed we are to have such amazing people in our lives—and how joyful it is to watch Avery and Abby begin their journey together as husband and wife.

@toddswank I finally got access to Sora 2… and obviously the first thing I did was paint a Vikings logo on Lambeau Field. 😈 This AI is getting way too real. CRAZY! #Sora2 #GreenBay #minnesota #vikings #Skol ♬ Good Time - Owl City & Carly Rae Jepsen

@toddswank Launchpad Golf is Now Open! #golf #drivingrange #greatfood #twincities #launchpad ♬ original sound - Todd Swank