Todd Wright Law

What's Your Drama?

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Wright, Esq.) — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 17:38:00 +0000

Ok, I'll go first.

My drama has been to allow my pain-body to take over my thinking in the context of a love relationship.

No, that's too abstract. Let's try again. My drama has been to take things personally in the context of a love relationship. There, now that's something people can relate to, I think.

Things said and done by my significant other would be felt as intense "emotional pain."

[Ok, now I've said the same thing in three different ways. Take a moment and look at those three descriptions of my drama and try to understand how they're all saying exactly the same thing.]

This "emotional pain" would cause me to react against the supposed source of this pain, my significant other. But of course, she wasn't impacting my physical body in anyway, so how could she have been the source of my pain? She couldn't. In fact, it was my own thoughts that were causing this "emotional pain," so called. I was doing it to myself.

I've put quotes around "emotional pain" above to highlight the fact that there is no such thing as emotional pain. Most people know what I'm referring to when I use the phrase, but it's important to realize that pain can only be felt in your physical body.

Ok, now it's your turn. What's your drama? It could be almost anything. Could be finances. Could be your children. Could be your spouse. Could be your boss or your job. Anytime you're feeling physical discomfort or pain in your physical body when nothing is physically impacting it . . . that's your drama. Simple as that.

[Of course, in order to realize when you're feeling physical pain in your physical body, you have to be aware of what's going on in your physical body in the first place. Most people are partially or completely cut off from their physical body. And the more completely they are cut off from their body, the deeper their problems seem to be. Here is a post about getting in touch with your inner body: Your Outer World is a Reflection of Your Inner State.]

The realization that what your feeling in those moments of strong emotion is physical pain allows you to demystify it and devalue it. When we're dealing with a simple (and generally pretty mild, once we take all the judgment out of it) sensation, that's something we can deal with pretty easily.

The pain takes you out of your mental processes and back into the moment where everything slows down. It causes you to withdraw little by little from the emotional situation into a very simple issue with which to deal: my stomach doesn't feel good right now, for example. In this way, your body is like a handle on your emotions and your mind. Use it.

As you become aware of the physical pain your thoughts are causing, say to yourself, "This is my drama." By taking ownership in this way, you're placing your awareness where it needs to be, on your inner state (over which you have complete control) rather than on something or someone in your external world (over which you have no control). Say this simple sentence a few times, to yourself or out loud, emphasizing a different word each time: "This is my drama," and "This is my drama."

If you do this, you will break the connection between the unconscious built-up emotion living inside you and your thinking. This is what Eckhart Tolle is talking about in A New Earth when he talks about the pain-body:

Because of the human tendency to perpetuate old emotion, almost everyone carries in his or her energy field an accumulation of old emotional pain, which I call "the pain-body." We can, however, stop adding to the pain-body that we already have. We can learn to break the habit of accumulating and perpetuating old emotion. [Paragraph break omitted]

When you take responsibility for your own drama, you will still notice the pain-body flip-flopping inside you like a fish on a dock, but it won't be able to cause you pain anymore and most important, it won't be able to take over your thinking, causing you to react in unseemly ways. (See list of articles on the Pain-Body for more information).

It's taken me years to understand that if I'm causing myself pain, I'm continuing to add to my pain-body. Knowing about the pain-body isn't enough. You have to break the connection to your thinking, and that's extremely simple to do. When you take ownership of your drama, the pain subsides almost immediately and there will be no going back to it. The illusion of its necessity at that point is broken forever. And what a glorious day that will be, I assure you!

This process has worked for me to end years of unwise and ineffective behavior patterns. Maybe it will work for you too.

You might also like: An Exercise for Experiencing the Joy of Being

Your Outer World is a Reflection of Your Inner State

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Wright, Esq.) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 00:15:00 +0000

Nowhere is this better demonstrated than in a marital relationship. It's one thing to believe that the person sitting across from you at the dinner table is mean, a jerk, exhibits all sorts of negative unconscious behavior. That very well may be true, and you can work very hard to try to "fix" that person. That effort is unlikely to succeed, but you can try.

The more important question is why? Not, "Why is this person like this?" Most people in bad relationships spend the bulk of their time pondering this question, both in their heads and out loud. It's a futile inquiry. The better "why" questions is, "Why is this person part of my world?" For the answer to this one you have to look inside yourself. That's where the title to this post comes in.

In every respect--and most especially your relationship--the outer circumstances of your life are a direct reflection of your own level of unconsciousness. Unconsciousness is just that--unconscious, which means that you are not aware. "Aware of what?" you might ask. Aware of your own inner state. I'll explain in a moment.

The Universe, if you will, uses negative external circumstances to reflect back to you your level of internal unconsciousness and will continue to do so until no purposes is served by the effort.

(Don't feel like you have to believe any of this. You'll get a chance to try it out for yourself in just a bit.)

And when will the purpose of negativity be served? When you wake up. When the internal condition precipitating your negative circumstances is relieved. (Hint: this is all an exercise in helping you learn to feel good inside.)

Think about it. The world cannot be any other way. Can one even image a universe in which we feel bad inside but everything comes up roses? Why would we ever seek change?

So when your circumstances are negative, focus on how they make you feel inside, and I don't mean in your head, your thoughts. I mean in your body. Focus on the actual physical discomfort that you feel as you contemplate your relationship with your partner. Your body acts as a handle on your thoughts.

The first thing to notice is that if your partner is not hitting you at that moment, the only possible culprit for the discomfort you are feeling in your physical body is you; that is to say, your thoughts. The key to getting out of this cycle of negativity is realizing that your own thoughts, both conscious and unconscious, are causing your physical body to feel discomfort. Figure out how to keep your thoughts from causing you physical pain on the inside, then watch your outer circumstances change to reflect your newfound peaceful, joyful, pleasurable inner reality. It works! Put it to the test.

How do you do it? By focusing your attention on your inner body. How does your stomach feel? How does your heart feel? How do your intestines feel? Focus your awareness within. You will very quickly find pockets of negative sensation that you didn't know where there. When you find them, just relax and allow them to be there. Don't judge them or yourself. Your awareness is all that's needed to cause those pockets of negativity to dissolve, unravel, unknot.

As they unknot, the unconscious thoughts that brought them into being will rise into your consciousness. You'll get the connection between the pain and those unconscious thoughts. You'll find that the unconscious thoughts are unrealistic and untrue, and once they enter your consciousness they won't have any effect on you anymore. You'll be able to discard them and the pain they caused you.

If you're interested in learning more about how to access your inner body, check out a post on one of my other blogs: Todd Wright Now

Pre-Natal Drug Use and Family Court

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Wright, Esq.) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 04:12:00 +0000

One of the more common ways a mother can find herself in family court trying to get her children back is when her baby tests positive for drugs at birth, an unfortunate truth to which this story from The Herald-Leader attests, Pregnant and high: the disturbing truth about addiction.

Photo credit: Healing Talks

A Horrific Family Court Case

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Wright, Esq.) — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 04:00:00 +0000

While this story is extreme:

Blast kills husband of missing Utah woman, 2 boys

it's different in magnitude but not in kind from cases we see in Fayette County Family Court every Wednesday afternoon.

Unnecessary Regulation Shuts Down Business?

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Wright, Esq.) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 17:58:00 +0000

Paddlefish eggs leads to couple’s guilty plea runs the headline in one of our local broadsheets. As with most journalism these days, the story is incomplete. It lacks the "Why" of the "Who, what, where, when and why." Namely, why is harvesting paddlefish from the Ohio River against the law, requiring regulation that has now shut down an export caviar business right here in Kentucky?

The couple referenced in this article definitely did things the wrong way, forging signatures to get around the regulations. Perhaps this is just a case of stupidity and dishonesty, as most criminal behavior is. But the end result is two people with a criminal record and out of work and a viable export business shut down. Were the regulations so burdensome that this couple took the unwise step of an illegal end run around them? Why couldn't this be worked out so this business could go forward?

All good questions, especially given that overregulation of business is a big issue in the Republican presidential primaries. Is this an example? Wouldn't it be a shame if these regulations were never needed in the first place?

On a lighter note, it sure is a cool looking fish.

An Actual Judge's Order in a Divorce

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Wright, Esq.) — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 18:44:00 +0000

Some judges' orders say more than others, and this one says it all.

Michigan Forces Mother to Give Daughter "Anti-Psychotic" Drug

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Wright, Esq.) — Mon, 23 May 2011 13:57:00 +0000

See AP News story here. Is it fair for the state to use its enforcement machinery to force a parent to give her child a strong drug with heavy side effects for what a state doctor has described as psychosis NOS (not otherwise specified)?

This smacks of a certain mentality that we need to turn people into zombies to control them. The mother, who is the caregiver, certainly doesn't think her daughter needs do be a zombie for her to live in society.

What do you think?

Picture of Maryanne Godboldo courtesy of the AP.

Supreme Court Reverses Judgment for Exonerated Man

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Wright, Esq.) — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 12:26:00 +0000

30 March 2011

See original AP story here: Court: Exonerated inmate doesn't get $14 million.

This is why it's so important to get a good criminal defense lawyer going in. Though $14 million might have come close, you can't put a price tag on freedom. This fellow isn't going to to get those years--18 of them--back. And now he isn't going to get the money either.

Thought for the Day

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Wright, Esq.) — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 12:46:00 +0000

28 March 2011

It is one thing to WANT money--everyone wants more--but it is something entirely different to be WORTH MORE! Many people mistake their WANTS for their JUST DUES. Your financial requirements or wants have nothing whatever to do with your WORTH. Your value is established [in the marketplace] entirely by your ability to render useful service or your capacity to induce others to render such service.

--Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich

Merlene Davis: Conference offers help to relatives who take over parenting

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Wright, Esq.) — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 14:37:00 +0000

March 15, 2011
See original article at Kentucky.com. This is a heartwarming, hopeful article. Please click on the link and read it if you have the time.

This GAP Conference (Grandparents--and other relatives--As Parents) is designed to help family members who find themselves thrust into this role.

The conference takes place 8 a.m.-3:30 p.m. on March 24, 2011, at the Clarion Hotel, 1950 Newtown Pike in Lexington. Cost is $5 for grandparents, relatives and caregivers, $35 for professionals. Fee includes continental breakfast and lunch. To register call (859) 257-5582.

Quote from conference panelist Judy Russell (pictured above): "It is a personal decision that families have to make. It is OK to not accept the responsibility if it is not in your heart to do it. Don't feel bad or beat yourself up." But Russell also says, "The reward is greater than the responsibilities."

Picture courtesy of Kentucky.com.

Defense attorney accuses Fayette Commonwealth's Attorney of violating racial justice law

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Wright, Esq.) — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 15:32:00 +0000

March 10, 2011
See original story at Kentucky.com. (The judge in the case, Ernesto Scorsone, is pictured right.)

Robed, bewigged judge rugby-tackles prisoner

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Wright, Esq.) — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 05:55:00 +0000

March 9, 2011

The way law is practiced across the pond: Story from Reuters

$430k Love settlement shows tweets can be costly

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Wright, Esq.) — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 15:42:00 +0000

March 6, 2011
Click here for the story from the Associated Press.

Justice Thomas' Failure to Report Wife's Income Source

noreply@blogger.com (Todd Wright, Esq.) — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 15:45:00 +0000

March 4, 2011
Original story from The Daily Beast.