Tanya has been known to write recipes on napkins, receipts, and Post-it notes, but has stopped short of having recipes tattooed to her derrière, though her favorites have left their mark there anyway.

Fruit Lovers

Fruit is nature’s sweet, healthy candy. It’s also one of the sexiest foods around, dripping with lip-smacking juices and packed with the vitamins, minerals, and phytonutrients to fuel your body and your passion. Summer is the time to indulge in such simple pleasures, and what better way than with a delicious fruit smoothie. The perfect post-lunch summer indulgence, these treats will cool you off while giving you that extra boost for whatever surprises the afternoon and evening might bring.

Lover’s Fruit

These fruit smoothie recipes are a dream for lovers. The more traditional version is made with bananas and a mix of blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, and strawberries, or any other sorts of berries that strike your fancy. These little gems are not only sensationally flavorful, but they’re also full of vitamin C, potassium, and other healthy nutrients as well as flavonoids that may help protect against certain forms of cancer. When all this on offer, why not whisk your lover away for a fun afternoon at a pick-your-own berry farm. You can also buy fresh berries at your local farmer’s market or check for a bag of mixed berries in the frozen section of your favorite grocery store. Whatever way you choose, just get your hands on some berries!

If your tastes lean more toward the tropical, try the mango and papaya smoothie. These fruits are excellent sources of beta carotene and vitamin C. Add a splash of passion fruit juice and you’ve got yourself at least one intoxicating concoction for a sultry summer afternoon.

Maca Love Not War

Both recipes call for vanilla, which has long been considered an aphrodisiac in ancient America. After one breath of its intoxicating aroma, you’ll be falling into your lover’s arms. But the secret ingredient and passion-booster in both recipes is maca. What’s maca, you ask? It’s a root vegetable grown in the Andes of Peru and Bolivia that helps enhance strength, endurance, and energy. It also regulates hormones and boosts your libido. Find it in powder form at your local natural food store or online through natural food suppliers.

Last but not least, fruit smoothies are super easy and fast to prepare, fun to make together as a couple, and open to endless variation. Use whatever fruits are in season, add more supplements and superfoods (like maca), and experiment with different combinations.  Enjoy!

Lover’s Fruit Smoothie Recipe

 Serves 2

 2 ripe bananas, peeled, sliced, and frozen

½ cup mixed berries, frozen

½ cup milk or milk alternative

½ teaspoon vanilla

1 tablespoon maca powder

1. Peel bananas, slice, and freeze.

2. When you’re ready to mix up your fruit smoothies, simply place all the ingredients in a good-quality blender and mix until smooth.

3. Pour into glasses and serve.

Lover’s Tropical Fruit Smoothie Recipe

Serves 2

½ cup mango pieces, frozen

½ cup papaya pieces, frozen

½ cup passion fruit juice

½  cup coconut water

½ teaspoon vanilla

1 tablespoon maca powder

1. Peel mango and cut into cubes. Cut papaya in half, remove seeds, and slice. Freeze.

2. When you’re ready to mix up your fruit smoothies, simply place all the ingredients in a good-quality blender and mix until smooth.

3. Pour into glasses and serve.

Play This DiscoveryGame – discover yourself and your partner on a sexual, emotional and intellectual level and have fun while doing it.

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An awkward date leaves me feeling trapped, wanting nothing more than to escape. I suspected this might be the case before I met Adrian, which is why I chose a to-go cup of coffee and a walk in the park for our encounter; a setting in which eye contact is not required, and riveting discussion isn’t completely necessary, either. I found her to be a nice enough person, but communication was a problem as we didn’t have much to talk about. She was a club girl, and I was a pretentious twat. She was very driven by family and career, and I am, well, a writer. I had used up all of my best jokes, and she didn’t get a single one of them.

I began to wonder if completing our circuit of the park–a longish trail of about 40 minutes–would be faster than thinking of a reason to double back. I kind of just wanted it to be over. We weren’t going to find an intellectual common ground here, and we had run dangerously low on topics for smalltalk. The only hope we had left was for a purely physical attraction to bond over, but how do you make a move, or broach that subject, without first finding a way to at least break the ice?

I remember a simpler time. When I was 12 years old I knew exactly how to get what I wanted from a girl. 12-year-olds, though, are essentially all sociopaths, able to disregard the moral dilemma of outright manipulating people to get their devious little thrills out of life.

One time in particular I recall coming up with a grand scheme to see my friend Vicky topless, who was a bit older at 15, and far and away the most blessed of my friends in the area of the chest. It began with a heist, because again, 12-year-olds are exploring the world and pushing its limits, always testing things. I decided to test both my skills as a thief and as a womanizer in one fell swoop, stealing a box of condoms from the drugstore to, in a way, impress Vicky, and I would use the same box against her in second stage of my plan.

Stage two was to offer to try one of the condoms on, to essentially model it for her. She liked this idea, as I thought she might, if only because it may have been a little funny and she would have loved to embarrass me. I had a card left to play, though. I turned around and fumbled a moment, pretending to be having difficulty putting it on, and then informed her that I needed a bit of help getting it up for my performance. “Show me your boobs,” I suggested. Moments later she agreed to take off her shirt, then her bra, and eventually she let me touch her–for exactly five Mississippis.

It doesn’t work that way as an adult, though, unfortunate though it may be. Adults still have their carefully laid schemes to get what they want from each other, but they are far more complex, take a lot longer to work through, and both sides in such a pairing generally know that they are playing a game from the onset. They may both want the same things, but as soon as one person appears to be trying to get their way, the simple act of denying them can itself be pleasurable. Only when the power structures of these couples and other relationships are established do we begin to give and take with impunity.

Here though, with Adrian, there was not likely to be a second date, let alone several in which I might lay out an infrastructure for future debauchery. I had all but lost interest in becoming good friends, or forming a deeper relationship, so it was going to either be a one-night-stand or nothing at all. We both knew it, by that point, and I think we were both receptive to it, but I didn’t want to play that game.

And so, thinking back to simpler times, I did something instead which was probably a little foolish. If you have come here looking for advice you may want to be a little picky about which bits of wisdom you take to heart, because this is not something that will work very often. In a case where you’re okay with one potential response being your date literally running away from you, then go for it. I asked Adrian to show me her boobs, in exactly those words: “Show me your boobs.” To my surprise, she did.

Now, remember, we were walking a park trail, so this isn’t a matter of public indecency in a restaurant, but for me it was no less an exciting moment. The chance that she would be offended was there, but I figured if she declined I could still possibly save myself from that awkward moment by saying I was a writer for Tokii, so I had to give it a shot for the opportunity of an interesting story to tell (which is a handy excuse for bad behavior that I will keep in mind in the future).

My fears were unwarranted, though. Adrian stood there before me, a devilish smile on her face as she held the straps of her black dress by her sides, her small breasts and pink nipples on proud display. She was mischievous and alight with glee, a witch in the woods en route to going fully skyclad, and perhaps she would have performed a little ritual with me right there were it not for the sound of a gentleman walking his dog towards us around the next bend. Afterwards our date improved dramatically, because there is really no being uptight around a person once you have shared a moment like that. I would love to see her again, and hopefully more of her.

Read more Male Dating Diaries.

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I used to think that sex toys were pretty taboo. Even in my closest circles of friends, where love and sex topics dominated gossip, no one ever talked about owning or using toys. I realize we’ve probably all thought about sex toys at least fleetingly at some point – after all, we all saw some teen movie or other that talked about “lube” or “dildos” in a joking manner and at least introduced the topics. But I didn’t actually ever consider buying a toy for myself until I stumbled on an article that suggested 1 in every 2 women own sex toys.

1 in every 2 women! That actually makes sex toys sound, not just acceptable, but downright normal! Leaning this, it was as if some little part of me had always wanted permission to buy a few toys for myself. But I still wasn’t exactly sure what to do. After all, what specific toy do you get? Where do you go, how do you know what’s right for you? I wasn’t sure of any of these answers at first, and they can be tough answers to come by. So, here’s a quick how-to guide to speed the process up for you!

Where to buy:
You can find sex toys on plenty of online sex toy stores like Adam and Eve. These are a great option if you want to be able to spend some time researching each toy and need a little more privacy while doing so. Almost all online sex retailers offer discrete shipping as well, so there’s no need to worry about having items shipped to your house. You can also look for adult novelty stores in your area if you want a more in-person experience. This is a great idea if you have questions that you would like to ask a sales associate or just want to see the toys up close before purchasing.

What to get:
While you can totally dive in and get an anal toy or nipple clamps as your first toy, I recommend something a little less extreme to get your feet wet like a vibrator of dildo. Vibrators are the best selling sex toys on the market, however, you have several options when it comes to vibrators.

Standard vibrators:
Your standard vibrator is typically shaped like a penis, can require batteries or be rechargeable, and can come with a clitoral stimulator or not. You can get it as simple or as elaborate as you want. If you’re going for a standard vibrator, I personally recommend a Rabbit vibrator. This toy has been made famous by shows like Sex and the City and has been one of the best selling sex toys for the past decade. It’s super versatile and is sure to hit all of the right spots.

G-spot vibrators:
A g-spot vibrator will be able to help you with the ultimate orgasm. Don’t know how to find your g-spot? Find out how. This might not be the toy for you if you’re not comfortable with the idea of going down and going inside, but if you are, then you’re sure to have some fun. These toys can be found in two ways: long and skinny wide a wide ball on

Bullet vibrators:
A bullet vibrator is a little less hands on in that it has a long cord with a hand-held remote. You can simply hold the bullet in place and then use the remote to adjust the speed. These toys are good if you’re strictly looking for clitoral stimulation or want something smaller and a little more discrete.

If you’re not into the vibrator idea, consider getting a dildo. These are a little more straight forward than a vibrator. You can get them in glass, metal, silicone or plastic, as well as in variety of sizes and colors. There isn’t too much to know about dildos, this one is really just up to your preference.

Body Safe and How-to Care for:
Once you’ve selected your type of toy, you will want to pay attention to the material. There are plenty of toys out there that are not actually safe for you to use and you want to make sure you’re putting your safety first.

Be sure to avoid any toys that contain phthalates, this is a chemical used to breakdown hard plastics and is known to actually breakdown inside of the toys and eventually seep out. You will also want to avoid any toy made from PVC and jelly material. Materials that are safe include: medical grade silicone or metal, glass, elastomer, and hard plastic.

Finally, you’ll want to check on how to care for your toy. Each material requires a different type of attention. Check out this guide on how to clean toys based on their material and be sure to avoid submerging and battery-powered toy in the water.

This is by no means the end-all guide to purchasing sex toys. I’m still rather new to this myself! But when I figured out where to buy toys, and what toys worked for me, it was as if I’d opened up a whole new world of pleasure for myself. Hopefully, this little beginner’s guide can help you to do the same!

Try These DiscoveryGames – discover yourself and your partner on a sexual, emotional and intellectual level and have fun while doing it.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I am actually enjoying looking for Mr. Right and have been dating some fun and interesting guys. I am more than happy to take solace in a nice rib eye steak and a glass of red wine. Dating also fulfills the needy side of my personality and can see Oscar Wilde’s point when he said “By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.”

On a holiday with the girls to provide further consolation on being single, I met a man in a bar in Lisbon. Later on in the evening, I fell outside the bathroom; unfortunately the bathroom was at the top of some very steep stone steps on to a very hard stone floor. It was a really nice bar actually. My friend later confirmed that I had gone from top to bottom and landed in a pool of blood, which thankfully was a result of splitting my ear open. The incident was also a little hazy for her as she only saw it through the flick flack of the restroom swing door.

He was from London, really rather charming, and was helpful in treating my ear with iodine with the girls back at the apartment. Until, that was, he came to visit me in Manchester for our first real ‘date’ and it transpired that he was married. With children. My ear also got infected.

After my experience with the married man, which I didn’t pursue as much a result of not wanting to become acliché as anything to do with the morality of dating a man with commitments, I wanted to meet a nice man. I found Jake on an internet dating site and he had been brought up round the corner and currently lived two towns away from my own. The website said that he was rich, which was nice. We had a lovely first date, though again alcohol was involved, and we had a little bit of a kiss by the ATM. A little bit of a kiss at the ATM led to a little bit of a fumble at his house a few weeks later which then led to the most disappointing sex of my life. We had arranged to spend the weekend together at that point, as up until then things had been going really well. The following evening the selfishness of the previous night was still present, as after he prepared dinner he expected me to wait on him. This is indeed an analogy of the events of the evening before, though the events of the second evening did last a little longer than the first.

Try These DiscoveryGames – discover yourself and your partner on a sexual, emotional and intellectual level and have fun while doing it.

Read more Female Dating Diaries 

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Terms & Definitions from the Fetish Lifestyle

Fetish: Excessive sexual focus on an object of fixation.. Everyone has their own little fetishes. Some have more than others. Do you know what yours are? Here are some terms and definitions from the fetish “language”.

Acrotomophilia:    The person is sexually aroused by the sight of an amputation usually of a whole arm or leg.
Adolescentilism:    The person is aroused by impersonating both the dress and behavior of an adolescent.
Andromimetophilia:  A woman who is sexually aroused by impersonating a man. They purposefully look like and act like a man.
Apotemnophilia:    This person is sexually aroused by having a part of their body amputated either by themselves or someone else. The memory of the amputation can serve to arouse them for years. It is the act of having an extremity amputated that is arousing; thus, they have to be awake during the process.
Asphyxiophilia:    This is sexual arousal caused by loss of control over your ability to breathe. Self strangulation or allowing another person to asphyxiate you.
Autagonistophilia:    Unlike exhibitionism where the person intentionally exposes their genitals to an unsuspecting stranger, in this paraphilia the person creates situations in which other people could see them in the nude if the person wanted to. For example, it would be like leaving your curtains open and walking around the house naked in hopes that someone would peep in the windows. It is the thought that someone may be watching that is sexually arousing.
Autassassinophilia:    The person is sexually aroused by putting themselves in situations in which they may be killed. They really have to feel they are in danger in order to be sexually aroused. Unfortunately, many of them get killed in the process.
Autonepiophilia:    This is the same thing as infantilism.
Biastophilia:    In this paraphilia the person is sexually aroused by the idea of being raped. This is scripted and planned out ahead of time with a partner. The person does not actually want to be raped by a strange.
Catheterophila:    The person is sexually aroused by the insertion of a catheter.
Chrematistophilia:    This person can only become sexually aroused if they are being blackmailed into it.
Coprophilia:    Smearing human feces on yourself or having someone smear it on you causing sexual arousal.
Coprophagia:    Eating and ingesting human feces.
Ephebophilia:    This is a form of pedophilia, but the person is very specific in the size, shape, and amount of body hair the pre-pubescent child has.
Erotophonophilia:    These people are dangerous. They are sexually aroused by attempts not just thoughts of killing someone.
Formicophilia:    Sexual arousal is caused by having insects crawl on their genitals.
Gerontophilia:    The person is only sexually aroused by a significantly older person. There has to be at least a 15 year difference between their ages.
Gynemimetophilia:    A person who is sexually aroused by a female impersonator.
Hybristophilia:    Sexual relations with a convicted criminal.
Hyphephilia:    Touching or rubbing a human or non human object is essential for achieving sexual arousal.
Hypoxphilia:    The same as asphyxiophilia.
Infantilism:    Dressing as an infant and acting the role of a child under two years old is sexually arousing. This can including some or all body hair and the hiring of a nurse or nanny to take care of you.
Kleptophilia:    Similar to kleptomania, kleptophilia results in sexual arousal from stealing not just thrill seeking.
Klismaphilia:    Getting an enema is sexually arousing. More liquid is associated with greater pleasure.
Mixophilia:    The person likes to watch their partner or themselves engage in sexual activity. Usually this means watching themselves in a mirror.
Morphophilia:    Peculiar body shapes and sizes are sexually arousing such as heavy, short, dwarfism, etc.
Mysophilia:    The person is sexually aroused by dirt, mud, or filth.
Narratophilia:    Telling dirty stories is sexually arousing.
Necrophilia:    Engaging in sexual activities with dead people.
Nepiophilia:    The person is sexually aroused by infants. This can range from newborns to about two years old.
Olfactophilia:    The person is sexually aroused by body smells. Usually inserting finger anus, vagina, etc. and smelling it during sex.
Pictohilia:    Watching X-rated films is sexually arousing.
Raptophilia:    Same as biastophilia.
Scoptophilia:    Same as mixophilia.
Somnophilia:    The person can only maintain sexual arousal while having sex with someone who is sleeping. If the person wakes up they loose interest.
Stigmatophilia:    Body piercing and tattooing but not ear piercing is sexually arousing.
Symphorphilia:    Natural disasters are sexually arousing.
Telephonicophilia:    Talking dirty on the phone or being talked to lewdly.
Urophilia:    Being urinated on or urinating on someone. Golden showers
Zoophilia:    The person wants to be treated like an animal wearing a collar and even eating out of an animals dish. This is different from bestiality in which the person wants to have sex with an animal.

With the launch of our Let’s Play with Fifty Shades of Grey eBook  Tokii has learned that many of our readers are not familiar with the BDSM lifestyle but want to learn more so for all those curious about this lifestyle here are some BDSM terms and definitions:

Don’t forget to download your FREE copy of Let’s Play with Fifty Shades of Grey [eBook].

AGE PLAY:    Role-playing the persona of someone substantially younger (or sometimes older) than your actual age.
BONDAGE:    Physical materials applied to a submissive or slave to restrain their ability to move and/or to otherwise restrict them. Also, the act of placing the submissive or slave in such materials.
BOTTOM:    A slang term for a submissive and/or masochist. Many people use the word “bottom” to mean specifically someone who enjoys being given various sensations, as opposed to a “submissive”, who enjoys being controlled.
BOTTOM SPACE:    The psychological “head space” or attitude of being submissive.
BOY:    A submissive (often, but not always, male) who relates to their dominant in a child-to parent mode. More common among gay men and lesbians.
BRAT:    A submissive who enjoys rebelling in a childlike way against their dominant. Brats are fairly common in the spanking scene.
CONSENSUAL:    An activity done with the consent of adults competent to give that consent. One of the central features of SM play..
COUNTING GAMES:    Rituals engaged in during whipping, flogging, spanking , or during other forms of flagellation, in which the submissive (or slave) is required to keep count f the number of strokes delivered, often thanking the Master after each one and asking for more. Example: “That’s five, Sir. Thank you Sir, Sir, please may I have another, Sir?”
DADDY:    A dominant (usually, but not always, male) who has a submissive “boy” and who relates to that submissive in a parent/child mode. More common among gay men and lesbians, but gaining currency among heterosexuals and bisexuals as well.
DISCIPLINE:    Training by a Master in how they wish their submissive or slave to behave. Also, the punishment and correction administered by the Master when the submissive fails to act in the proper manner.
DOMINANT:    One who enjoys assuming control. One who decides what happens and when. A dominant may or may not be sadistic.
FLAGELLATION:    The general act of one person striking another, usually in an erotic context. Includes spanking, paddling, flogging and whipping.
FLOGGER:    A multi-tailed whip in which the tails are long, flat strips of leather or a similarly flexible material.
HUMILIATION:    Activities which cause the submissive to feel shame, embarrassment, or degradation. Varies widely from person to person. Possibly psychologically explosive..
MASTER:    A term for a male dominant. Often used as a term of address, such as “Master Tom”. It is often considered somewhat rude to address a man by this term without being first given permission to do so.
MASTER-slave RELATIONSHIP    An ongoing SM relationship in which the slave is submissive to a male dominant.
MONDAY MORNING REBOUND SYNDROME:    Feelings of remorse, disgust, fear, and so forth that sometimes emerge hours or days after a person willingly, and often lustily, takes part in SM play.
MUMMIFICATION:    Immobilizing bondage, usually done by wrapping the submissive in many coils of materials such as plastic wrap, or by placing the submissive in a body bag designed for this purpose.
NOVICE:    A person just beginning to learn about and explore SM. Often treated with special kindness and attention by the more experienced members of the community or by the MASTER.
SADIST:    As loosely defined with the SM Community, a person who specifically enjoys administering pain. A person may be dominant without being sadistic. It’s also possible to be sadistic without being dominant.
SADOMASOCHISM:    A rather vague term referring generally to fantasies and experiences regarding the introduction of domination, submission, bondage, sadism, masochism, humiliation, and related activities into erotic play.
SAFEWORD:    A specific word or other signal used, by prior agreement, to indicate that things are “really” becoming too intense for the person. Usually used by the submissive or slave, but may also be used by the dominant. “Safeword” itself is sometimes used at SM parties to signal a desire for outside intervention.
SLAVE:    A person who has an on-going, structured relationship with a dominant or Master. One who assumes the submissive role, often in a highly developed and committed way to a particular person. Cling someone “my slave” generally indicates a relatively sophisticated, ongoing relationship between the two of you.
SUBMISSIVE:    One who yields control. One who obeys orders and may permit themselves to be bound if doing so pleases their dominant or Master.
TOP’S DISEASE:    An unwarranted attitude of superiority taken by a dominant. Believing that bottoms are somehow inferior and treating them so in either obvious or subtle ways. Usually a sign of insecurity or ignorance. Dominants who suffer from Top’s Disease often (surprise, surprise) complain about how hard it is to find people willing to play with them. a mirror image of this syndrome is called Bottom’s Disease.
TWO SQUEEZES:    A “squeeze signal” between players used to non-verbally signal that, “I’m all right.”
WORSHIP:    To adore the personage of the dominant. Often combined with performing some service to the dominant’s body such as massaging, kissing, or licking their feet or boots, massaging their body, bathing them. Explicitly sexual activity, such as performing oral sex on the dominant, may or may not be a part of such play.

Try These DiscoveryGames – discover yourself and your partner on a sexual, emotional and intellectual level and have fun while doing it.

Note: Anger, envy, gluttony, greed, lust, pride and sloth. Whether or not committing one of these sins will destine you to an eternity stoking Satan’s furnace is up for debate but one thing’s for sure, committing them in a relationship may leave you all alone and out in the cold. In this seven-part series, writer Michael Kerr explores each of the seven deadly sins and why they’re bad for couples.

The Seven Deadly Relationship Sins: Gluttony

On first glance gluttony may seem like a minor deadly sin; on par with lesser evils such as envy or sloth as opposed to, say, relationship killers like anger, lust or pride. However, gluttony can be a big deal indeed: a very big deal. If you haven’t heard, gluttony combined with a lack of exercise can make you become fat—and, when it comes to your health, bigger isn’t better. Not only does being overweight put a person at risk for a mélange of diseases such as heart disease, diabetes and some cancers, it can wreak havoc on your relationship as well.

When Mr. Right Is Mr. Bad News

Relationships themselves may be bad for the waistline—especially if you’re a woman. A 2011 Ohio State University study usurped previous research that showed both men and women gained a moderate amount of weight in the first two years after marriage. It turns out men in the study actually lost weight while women gained a lot more than previously thought. It’s still unclear why woman packed on the pounds post-matrimony, but Zhenchao Qian, a professor of sociology at OSU, suspects tradition is part of the reason. “Married women often have a larger role around the house than men do, and they may have less time to exercise and stay fit than similar unmarried women,” he said.

Don’t Weight Up

In a profile for National Public Radio (NPR) in 2011, Larry Boynton, a contractor in Belmont, California, remembers that when he married his wife Dana Englehardt a decade earlier, the fact that she was overweight wasn’t a big problem for him. “Once I decided to put that out of my mind and allow the relationship to grow with the person I was falling in love with—her personality and how much fun we had together—it just really wasn’t an issue,” he says. However, when Englehardt gained 60 more pounds, it began to put a strain not only on her body, but on the marriage as well.

Englehardt, a registered nurse, could barely stand during her shifts. Minor tasks left her winded and sleep apnea kept her awake at night. Just the thought of having sex left her exhausted. “I suffered a lot of guilt because I knew that I wasn’t meeting my husband’s needs,” she says. Englehardt began losing her self-confidence while, at the same time, Boynton had become frustrated by the lack of sex in the marriage. “At one point it was six months…and I was almost climbing the walls,” he says. “And so I didn’t want to get frustrated, so therefore, I just shut down.” Instead of discussing the problem, both partners retreated. Eventually, Englehardt’s health deteriorated so badly she opted for bariatric (weight loss) surgery. Although she lost weight and probably saved her own life, it took several more years before the couple could get their relationship back to where it was prior to her weight gain.

‘Til Heft Do Us Part

Obese people are also more dissatisfied with their sex lives, and “obese women seem to suffer the most,” according to researchers who study the issue. “Instead of enjoying their sexual intimacy, [obese women are] worried about the size of their stomach or, ‘Oh my god, he’s going to touch my stomach,” says Ronnie Kolotkin, a psychologist at Duke University Medical Center. Other problems with obesity she cites include low sexual desire, avoidance of intimacy and difficulty performing sexually (which affects both obese women and men).

Shape Up Before Your Spouse Ships Out

It’s not easy to lose weight; just ask the $40 billion dollar plus a year diet industry. Unfortunately, there’s still no magic bullet. The best way to lose weight is still the old fashioned way—eat well and exercise regularly. In fact, eating a healthy diet is the best way to counter obesity, according to the World Health Organization (WHO). The group recommends the following steps in order to maintain a healthy weight:

• limit overall consumption of fats and switch fat consumption away from saturated fats in favor of unsaturated ones
• consume more fruits, vegetables, whole grains and nuts
• cut down on sugars and salt

Maintaining a regular fitness routine can help you achieve a healthy body as well. At least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity activity each day reduces the risk of a number of serious health consequences including diabetes and cardiovascular disease, as well as colon and breast cancers. Not only will exercise help you lose weight and remain active longer as you age, it also builds self-confidence, a necessary ingredient of every healthy relationship.

The Prescription

In 2010, Indiana home builder Josh Barkley weighed in at nearly 400 pounds. It was not only destroying his health, but his relationship as well. The couple wanted children, but due to his obesity, Josh’s, testosterone and thyroid levels had plummeted to near zero. His doctor suggested bariatric surgery, but Josh decided to get his weight under control by going old school. He changed his eating habits and joined a gym. Using a combination of the popular CrossFit exercise regimen six days a week, Josh was able to drop 130 pounds in just over a year. He even inspired his wife Heather to join him at the gym three days a week. “A few months ago I would beg him to take a walk around the block and now he can run a mile and is beating me, it has been the answers to my prayers,” she said. As the Barkley’s story attests, not only is shaping up a good prescription for an ailing person, it can pump up an ailing relationship as well.

Try These DiscoveryGames – discover yourself and your partner on a sexual, emotional and intellectual level and have fun while doing it.

Tantalizing Tokii Reads – to make relationship work into fun.

In response to requests for Tokii to answer questions from members and the public at large in a frank and direct way, we have brought onboard, a tough talking, calls it like he sees it individual,  Straight Shooter Steve. From time to time, Steve will field your questions in his unique and blunt style. Be forewarned, you might not always like or agree with his answers! In fact, we’ll go as far as to state that Steve’s answers do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of Tokii! Let’s call it freedom of speech!  If nothing else, we hope you’ll find him entertaining and provocative! He’s on probation so let us know how you truly feel about his work!

Try These DiscoveryGames – discover yourself and your partner on a sexual, emotional and intellectual level and have fun while doing it.

Tantalizing Tokii Reads – to make relationship work into fun.

Several years of being the woman of many men’s fantasies has created some sizzling memories for Kyra.  She’s traveled with dignitaries, kept company with royalty, and hung out with rock stars, even being in some of their videos.  Born and living in London, Kyra’s special services have always been in demand.  Her high level of energy and open book attitude create an environment where everybody, lady or gent, can ask this sizzling lassie anything they desire. 

Everybody has questions about sex, experimentation, relationships, and lingering thoughts that stem from their fantasies.  Get ready for some no holds barred advice.  Just a warning… Kyra’s not for the faint of heart, as she’s sure to heat up the message boards in Ask Kyra.

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Hiking with friends, sweating through a yoga class, or playing a rousing game of soccer can burn a few calories, we all know there are more…satisfying ways to work up an appetite (wink, wink). These sports of the bedroom variety may just leave you wandering into the kitchen at odd hours of the night or morning for something of substance to nibble (not to imply that your lover’s earlobes aren’t substance enough, but you know what I mean).

Not So Innocent

This is where Midnight Asparagus comes in. This brilliant dish is the perfect midnight snack for two. Be forewarned, however: as you’ll recall from previous posts, asparagus is an aphrodisiac, which means that this seemingly innocent snack may actually lead to another round. Think you’ve got what it takes? If not, the second major ingredient in this fabulously delicious recipe, eggs, may just give you a hand. Eggs are also considered aphrodisiacs and, as the source of new life, they are the ultimate fertility symbol. They’re also packed with protein, zinc, and B vitamins that will fuel your libido, balance your hormones, and nourish your body…so with Midnight Asparagus in your culinary arsenal, you just may be ready for another round.

Easy Does It

This recipe is extremely easy to make, even for those who are a little foggy-headed due to lust or lack of sleep. Simply coat a sauté pan with a little olive oil, slice some asparagus, crack a few eggs, throw it all in the oven, and you’ve got yourself a scrumptious midnight snack. Your only challenge may be deciding whether to polish off every last morsel before returning to the bedroom. What could be better than the two of you sneaking a bite together under cover of night, perhaps clothed and perhaps not, feeding each other in the dim light when everyone else is asleep…pure heaven.

Enjoy!

Note: Recipe from http://www.splendidtable.org/

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First, my deepest condolences regarding your loss. It has long been said that there is no more devastating thing a couple (or even a person) can experience than the loss of a child. It doesn’t seem the natural order of things. Because it is so fundamentally difficult a loss to experience, it comes with it some additional complications like the outcome you describe.

News that can give you hope in the midst of a lot of hopelessness:

According to studies by the parental grief support group “The Compassionate Friends” (the nation’s largest bereavement organization): While some couples don’t make it through the loss of a child, most marriages survive the tragedy.

Only sixteen percent of all couples that experience the death of a child get divorced, and less than half of those divorced reported the death of their child as a factor in the decision to divorce.

Wayne Loder, public relations coordinator for Compassionate Friends and father of two children who were killed in a car accident, explains, “Most married couples that experience this kind of devastation pull together and some even become stronger.”

How do you get to the “stronger” part?:

Since it’s been a little while and you and your husband haven’t been able to do it on your own, it’s probably time to get some outside help. Talk to friends or do your own research to find a local therapist who specializes in grief and loss. They will help you use tools you already have, along with the love that helped you create your family in the first place, to heal the deep wounds caused by the loss of your son.

It will not happen overnight, but the healing really can’t begin while you are also experiencing the stress of a waning relationship. Without the loss of a child, a successful marriage takes a lot of concerted effort. With the added grief and stress of losing a child, you and your husband need to focus inward to help strengthen the relationship more than ever.

Try These DiscoveryGames - discover yourself and your partner on a sexual, emotional and intellectual level and have fun while doing it.

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