~A~

That unspoken fear

2013-02-13T13:00:00.001+00:00

Uneasy confession

I have began to notice something alittle unsettling about myself recently. No matter how hard I try there are durations of time I began to slowly spiral into a sense of such hopelessness. I am finding it harder to ask for help and though no one will admit it, they do have consequences. This is my only outlet and I hope it suffices, I pray it does.
Today I feel as if this another long uphill climb and the end result will be nought but misery. My health has began to spiral out of control again. My muscles are tensing and these deadlines are continuous. They used to have small breaks and though small made a difference. But now they are just continually thrown at me.

I'm suffering from Insomnia again.
I have given up hope in going to the Doctors. Each time I book an appointment it has to be in a week's time unless it's deemed 'an emergency'. When I do get there and I explain my situation all I am given is a prescription that just tackles my symptoms whilst destroying some other part of my body. On top of that I have to pay money. I thought I could apply for a health form to exemplify myself from such costs but after looking online it appears I do not qualify. I deal with my health by drinking plenty of fluids, trying to get as much sleep as possible and only using medication when I cannot physically cope anymore.
Yesterday I sent in my application for staying on Uni accommodation for next year. The deposit has crippled me financially and there's nothing I can do about it.
I considered finding a job again but then I remembered something. There are no jobs. Flashback to the day I went to every shop only to be told to go online to their website and the following words:

We currently have no vacancies

You do have the skills to do this job

And these are jobs that pay so poorly I wonder why should I even bother trying to impress such people who will pay me less than £7 an hour for standing up all day smiling, working to the bone and at the same time appreciate the job, even when the wage is bearly enough?!

There are then those moments when I reach the eye of the storm. Everyone tells me everything is going to be alright and I disillusion myself that it will be fine. But then I reach this state again. I just plug my headphones into my ears and want to shut the world out.

Irrational Thoughts

I have realized I think very irrationally at times and have some obsessive tendencies. I am also paranoid. It's a constant fight to try reaffirm which thoughts are normal and which are not. When I go shopping I never noticed it before till watching a documentary but I always feel self-conscious and think everyone around me is looking at me, judging me. I realized that is an example of an irrational thought and in a way has helped me distinguish that my mind can sometimes turn against me. Each time I now go shopping ina supermarket and that thought enters my head that people are looking at me, I fight it and say in my head:

No you are being paranoid. Nobody cares, they are living their own lives and you are being irrational.

And after that, I am back to shopping in peace. However, I wish I could say this thinking can help with my other problems.

I have never been diagnosed with Depression and I do not wish to. When you are labelled with a mental illness it denies you job opportunities and a record which does nothing but bad. A month ago I walked into the University counselling centre and found some pamphlets and was considering booking an appointment with a counselor I do not like talking to people about my problems, I love to rant and complain about ridiculous things that happen and laugh about it afterwards with friends. But serious problems I cannot cope with and I know there is no easy solution, or problems which I know 100% for sure people will be judge me upon that if they even say they won't, cause let's face it. As humans we cannot help to judge, it's in our nature.

But anyway back to the health centre. Why did I not see the counselor? Two reasons:

1) The first was an advertisement I saw before entering. It was about an MP, someone who worked for David Cameron who had something like Depression. When being hired by Cameron the man asked him if he knew he had a record of mental illness and Cameron replied that he did and didn't see what the fuss was. After that the man made a point that though it was not a problem for him to work in parliament however statistics show people with record of mental illnesses have difficulty getting a job to a person with no record of mental illnesses even with 1 in 4 people having a mental illness in the country.

I made a decision to leave that instant and didn't go back. I was not thinking irrationally. My future looks so bleak and the moment, I find it so hard to find a job even without handicaps attached to my name and this made me decide against it.

2) Reason 2 was the counselor itself. My mum did a basic counselling course and told me what they learnt as they did the course. A counselor never offers advice, their job is to listen to your problems in a non-judgmental manner. It is through these sessions you come to your own decision about what to do next. But the thing that bothered me the most is if the counselor would be nice?

I know that sounds ridiculous but after talking to a friend who I knew had been to seen one I asked if they felt comfortable and happy with the counselor. I wasn't satisfied with the response and it backed up my fears of before.

Counselors are empathetic, not sympathetic and because I am not paying money for the one the University provides I am randomly allocated to one and seeing as my luck is bad there is a chance I could have landed sessions with a counselor I was not comfortable discussing my problems with.

What is it I have?

I keep doubting I have depression. My family history include gum cancers and allergy problems but I have no idea what mental health is like. As well as that, these episodes of down don't fit into the criteria of Depression but this isn't sadness either.

I think sometimes I have it because:

1) I feel numb inside, like I'm dead

2) Irrational thoughts multiply so badly, really bad frame of mind sentences that reek of pessimism for example, "There's no point in trying, I'm just going to fail", "There's no point bothering"

3) Loss of interest in pretty much everything. TV, work, reading, playing video games, writing even writing my blog! All I can do is just plug my headphones and pray I can ride it out.

4) Suicidal Thoughts. These occur when I feel completely trapped particularly when my eczema and urticaria combine with Insomnia leaving me in constant pain all over. That on top of bad feedback on essays with no encouragement or advice, feeling numb, lack of sleep, loathing of my ugly reflection in the mirror due to all the ailments building up it is explainable I suppose.

5) It keeps coming back and when it does I feel they last longer than before.

6) Whenever I hear someone talking about depression seriously, like they're drowning in a room full of people in silence or I hear why Sylvia Plath's novel, The Bell Jar is called so because of the feeling of depression is like being trapped inside a bell jar struggling to breathe I actually understand that feeling. And I am one of those people that can not fully understand a feeling unless I have experienced it first hand. Everyone else around me thinks the word 'Depression' means sadness. Sadness to me is a shallow emotion that passes over you like a rain cloud and makes us human. Whilst Depression is like this deep hollowness you want desperately to just go away because it just eats away turning you into someone who becomes indifferent to just about everything. And though I have never reached that state I fear it going down that path.

7) The triggers are sometimes unexpected things colours, memories etc. Grey Clouds I have discovered are one of the reasons that I feel so dead inside sometimes. When the sun comes out I feel as if I'm free. The blue sky, the sun shine makes me feel like I can do anything whilst when I see Grey clouds and I don't mean a few grey clouds against blue sky but just Grey sky completely. I feel myself spiralling slowly into that state again, and if that weather continues into the next day well...

8) I used to be able to listen to all types of Happy music. Before I could NOT physically stand sad music. To me, stimuli that initiates a downer on the mood is a big No No. But lately all I can seem to want to listen to is Depressing music. For some reason it's the only thing I can stand, whilst other songs are shouting about getting up and dancing and alienating me because I do not feel like that, I seek refuge in lyrics that make me feel this feeling is normal. People do go through this and believe it or not but eventually there is light at the end of the tunnel.

9) I think back to the Past and I realize I was a lot happier as a person. After this thought I have come to the conclusion this feeling is a result of my experiences not genetics. Especially at University coming from a home with a large family to living by myself and struggling with work and supporting myself.

Reasons I think I do not have depression:

1) Though they vary with symptoms. The NHS and other Health Organisations say an important factor in determining Depression is time. So someone with Depression has to have that feeling continually for at least six months so it's not misdiagnosed for just a temporary downer. Thankfully, I have respites from this horrible feeling. At least I have that relief.

2) This one symptom makes me doubt I have it a lot. Physically not being able to get out of bed. It's the one symptom I have never experienced. When I hear that symptom it scares me because it's like it's over. There's a side of me that wants to give up and then there's the side that doesn't want to as if the finish line is alittle further and hope is around the corner.

When the thought to give up begins my mind goes into a war and my thoughts follow an argument as follows:

If you give up that's it. You'll fail, you won't find a job, you'll health worsen and you'll have no money to pay for the treatment, this will lead you to being trapped only this time there really is no hope because you have no exits failing a degree.

And then I get up even if it hurts. Even if I sit at the back of the lecture indifferent because if I give up there is an ugly thought that creeps along that basically goes well if you give up what's to stop you taking your own life?

Not just that, but also I entered University with a purpose. I wanted to meet new people, make friendships and memories, I wanted to become a better person, at the end leave with a qualification that will help me make a difference to people's lives as well as help me earn a living and change my family's situation.

I guess in a way I'm someone who has alot of great expectations and many of them have been let down. I used to love science but according to my tutor I am just about scraping passes in modules. My brain switches off after 10 minutes of monotone droning of a lecture. I miss the days of secondary school when we'd interact as a class with the teacher and discuss the ethics of cloning or involved in group tasks of drawing the human anatomy. These days all I keep thinking is: I need to keep going to get that degree NOT isn't this fun? Wasn't that a enjoyable lesson? I feel so inspired to do THIS!

My aspirations and dreams have been put out by University. It's funny but I remember a conversation I had with my biology teacher, Mrs Christmas. It was the last few weeks of our last year and I remember saying I could not wait to leave secondary school. Mrs Christmas told me I'd miss it and I replied saying never. Back then University sounded like this amazing route to self-independence.

Now? It's a place where you pay a lot of money for actually not as much as you expected. If you want to see a lecturer, you can't just go to them whenever you like with teachers in secondary school you have to book an appointment. You're an adult. Everything is your responsibility.

And yet why do I not feel like one? Just floating in this empty space watching people struggle to bring out some pennies to pay for a rising bus fare.

Why is there never a bridge to these giant steps? We're just thrown in the deep end and expected to start swimming. And what happens if some of us have anchors tied to our legs? Baggage that makes us swimming that much harder.

"Life is tough, you just got to ride it out"

"Welcome to the real world"

"Talk to our helpline"

"Sorry we can't help you, go to this department which is now closed because it's lunch break (Wherever the hell I have to trek to next)"

Sorry that turned into a rant. Like I said at the beginning, this is my only outlet. But back to Depression. So because I can get out of my bed and face the world and face Uni even after being told I am shit at doing my work even after putting everything I got into it the fact I can still face it even still battered by my own body turning against me must mean it's just a phase.

When you are expected to be independent in University in every aspect of your life it's easy when you only have to fight one war, that of you against the world. But when it comes to fighting two wars. One with the world that acts so ruthless towards you and a second one with yourself to keep hanging on it begins to make sense how one is not coping.

3) This phase worsened when I came to University.

4) I'm probably just reaching my breaking point and need a breather. Decided I need a Gap Year after a finish my degree. Take a break from year after year of study and exams.

5) I have also had a fear recently that I might be bipolar. I can experience feelings of euphoria between these bouts of numbness. Like I can take on the world, do my best and then come crashing down when things take a turn for the worse. But after watching a documentary and reading the symptoms I honestly do not think I have it. If I did I would have been expelled or unable to go outside. And though these feelings torture me inside, I can still put on a brave face and head outside.

Stigmas and Closure

Like I said before. I do not like talking about my problems, particular ones of this nature. There is still such a stigma associated with mental illnesses. People still think of stereotypes when they hear jargon like 'Clinical Depression' 'Schizophrenia' 'Bipolar Disorder'. There is a look of pity and they label you with the words, 'Unstable', 'Crazy' or 'Loopy'. And these aren't removable labels. They blot health records, stick to you and somehow seem to define you. It doesn't help that the medical approach these days is to just shove anti-depressants down your throat. I'm all for medicine helping with symptoms don't get me wrong but I have a big problem with using medication long-term to relieve symptoms and yet does nothing to tackle the cause of the problem. I also think society has a big role to play in it. 1 in 4 people have a mental illness. If you think about that, that's a really scary statistic.

Now look at all the austerity measures, unemployment rising and then you realise keeping it together is actually a tab bit tougher.

Putting on the brave face.

My Skin

2012-12-24T02:42:00.001+00:00

This is a poem about my three going onto four years of experience with my skin. The poem is explicit and personal as it deals with something I have been trying to deal with for over three years that has affected my self-esteem and confidence. One way I have learnt to deal with it is writing recently. Hope you enjoy it or find it amusing and to anyone also going through eczema, urticaria or other skin conditions, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Peace~ A

My Skin

My skin

I scratch

I scratch hard

I never stop

Even when I start to bleed

I see the Doctor

Eczema they say

Eczema?! I say

Steroid cream they say

Okay I say

I scratch

I scratch hard

I never stop

Even with this cream on

I see the Doctor

No cure they say

More cream will do the trick!

I read the side effects

Thins the skin it say

Damage my skin it will

I don’t want this cream

Give me something else I say

More creams

Moisturise Motherfucker!

Is that all there is?

I itch

I scratch

I bleed more

I look in the mirror

Why has it not cracked?

Dark circles from insomnia

I look fucking ugly

Be optimistic they say

I’ll try I reply

But it spreads

To my legs

To my face

To my neck

To my torso

It won’t stop!

I go to Doctor

And beg on my knees

They give strange cream

This cream could give cancer

But I say fuck it

I need this relief from this Purgatory

I’m freed from the Eczema

But my body say no

You suppress the immune system?!

Big time payback bitch

They come to collect their interest

Every time I sweat

Or emotions overwhelm

Hives erupt

What in heaven’s above is this?

I go to Doctor

Urticaria they say

No cure they say

Cheer up they say

Buy more drugs

Suffer in silence

I fear my sweat

I quit fencing

I stop running

Anything and everything that makes me sweat

I touch my skin

It feels rough

Like it belongs to a snake

Not a teenage boy

You used to be my birthday suit

Now I want nothing more than to rip you off

Reincarnate into a new body

All you ever give me is Hell

Three fucking years it’s been

Eczema, Urticaria and Blood

The story of my skin

Project Dark Cloud 3

2012-12-14T19:39:00.003+00:00

It's time Level-5 acknowledge their fans want Dark Cloud 3 once and for all!!!!! January 22-25th 2013

This January from the 22nd to the 25th Level-5 is releasing Wrath of the White Witch in North America and Europe. Many fans of Level-5 for many years have been craving for a Dark Cloud 3 or at least a Dark Cloud HD collection rerelease for PS3. On the release days of the Wrath of the White Witch fans of the Dark Cloud franchise should once and for all send the message to the company that there is still interest in the title or at least a HD collection of the classic titles. If we unite together on these days in 2013 it will at least leave no excuse that no interest has been shown for development of the game.
It's important that this planned and not rushed into. Posting this it is currently December and we are deciding to take action in January 2013 when Wrath of the White Witch is released. So please do not start spamming Level-5 until the date mentioned earlier. For now look below the ways to start getting involved and ready for January. Raise awareness, know friends online or in real life who loved the game, get them involved. Yes it's an old game but if you were truly a fan of the game and you remember how truly underrated and special of an RPG it was you should be willing to do this. Thank you

But how are we going to do that????
1) The best way for Dark Cloud fans to communicate is via facebook. Forums from my experience do not notify when someone responds.
If you have a facebook account please join the following group
http://www.facebook.com/groups/332543258075/
Or search Dark Cloud 3.
I say group instead of pages because groups are more effective as a form of communication whilst pages are more useful news updates. The group has the following image for reference when searching:

And don't forget to like the Level-5 official page and send them a message
http://www.facebook.com/LEVEL5IA

A screenshot of the Facebook page for the official Level-5 American Website, where the red circle is is where you can message them!

2) Twitter
This is perhaps the best way because we can start to get a trend going. However we are also hoping to get people to post a photo of themselves holding a copy of the dark cloud or dark cloud 2 game. This shows proof we still love and cherish the games and doesn't make it seem like pointless spam. When doing the trend place the hastag #darkcloud3 and make sure to @ at the following people from Level-5. They do not use twitter that much so you have to @ them!
https://twitter.com/AkihiroHino

This twitter account is for the creator of Level-5- Akihiro Hino

https://twitter.com/LEVEL5_IA

The official American Level-5 Twitter account

3) Email
Lots of people have already emailed Level-5 about their desire for a sequel to Dark Cloud 3 and never receive a response. But it doesn't hurt sending one to show there is still interest in January 2013.
http://level5ia.com/contact/
https://secure.level5.co.jp/inquiry/index.html

The screen you should see for the american website when contacting them

4) Fan art, letters and photos of holding the dark cloud merchandise, cosplay photos, video game, guides etc...
If you have fan art, post it to the facebook group mentioned earlier or send it to me via twitter. If you did a cosplay of one of the characters from the game, still have a copy of the video game GET A CAMERA AND TAKE A PHOTO!!!! It's all well saying to Level-5 we want a game but we need to show we're not a spammers but people who actually genuinely loved the treasure they made with proof. Having an actual copy you bought, a video game guide, a cosplay you made inspired by their game .

Some examples of what I mean are shown to the left. Cosplay photo of Dark Cloud 2 is credited and belongs to sesshouga. Deviant art page where image can be found is http://sesshouga.deviantart.com/art/Dark-Cloud-2-Here-for-You-136045469
Fan art of Dark Cloud 1 belongs and credited to Neko-Krys. Deviant art page where image can be found is http://neko-krys.deviantart.com/art/Dark-Cloud-Toan-Xiao-Goro-217490574

Now there's no excuse for you or Level-5 for that matter!

You have the tools before you, the resources, the ideas also we're open to new ideas too. After January 2013 I will have done my part officially for being a Dark Cloud fan. For those of you who think it's too late all I have to say is that there is nothing to lose. This game series was so underrated and left in the shadow by many competing RPG series when it had so much more to offer. To get Level-5 to consider even a HD rerelease and relive the magic again is something worth fighting for. Thank you for your time. If you need to contact me for ideas or anything to do with this project please do not hesitate to send a tweet to my twitter page link is below.

https://twitter.com/AdamFurey

TokyoDreamer9

Turning 20 in a week

2012-09-16T20:33:00.003+01:00

Thoughts on turning Twenty

I'm honestly not looking forward to my 20th birthday. But I made a promise to myself for my twenty-first birthday that I'm going to work hard to make sure that it doesn't end up as an uneventful one again.

Why are you not looking forward to turning Twenty?

1. September is a very awkward time to turn 20 and celebrate it when everyone is busy returning to school, work or returning to university. I already know not to expect anything for this upcoming one.

2. I don't have a money. I was planning to initially visit a theme park with friends but this summer a lot of unexpected things happened. The housing situation was a stressful matter that cost deeply and used all my savings which I will be following up when I return to Uni. As well as searching for a new house, forking out for a retake I'm broke and there are still no jobs.

3. I've been on Earth for two decades and I don't feel like I've lived yet which is not good but thankfully I'm working towards that.

It's depressing that I've had to cancel a lot of things lately. I had to cancel seeing a lot of friends, particularly a cosplay meetup for a picnic, reunions and other events because of both financial and health reasons. It doesn't help recently I got diagnosed with another untreatable condition by the GP. My health and my financial status haven't been good but even then I haven't lost hope. I just want people to know I haven't forgotten them or someone who breaks promises, it's just I'm going through a bit of a tough time and just need understanding.

But there's good news. My health has improved with this new medication and I'm enjoying some new TV series and looking forward to Law and Order SVU and Gossip Girl premiering so that in itself is a lovely bday present to look forward to, also J.K. Rowling's new book is coming out this September so it's not unhappy faces all around. :)

By 21...

By 21 I'm hoping my secret project will be finished to its first level by then. Today I finished the first part of the secret project. In a year I so happy to have accomplished this. I still cannot say what it is at the moment but I am so excited to share it with all of you when the time comes nearer.

Rita Ora is the BOMB!

2012-09-09T22:14:00.003+01:00

I'm loving Rita Ora's new album

Rita Ora is an artist/ musician who's just become number 1 in the UK charts with her debut album, 'Ora', she has also appeared recently as a judge on the X Factor. I heard her quite a long time ago with her single, 'Hot Right Now'. When I heard it I loved it straightaway and I thought to myself its such a shame this artist hasn't got an album yet or the spotlight they deserve. I'm so glad she's finally getting it. Since then she's released R.I.P featuring Tinie Tempah that has clocked a lot of views on Vevo, How We Do (Party). Even Beyoncé has been addicted to one of her songs and my current addiction is 'Roc the Life'.

She's so good, you've only been shown one eye. For more you have to buy the album :O

Roc the Life!

I love this song, particularly the chorus. If you haven't heard it check it out below. I really do hope it's her next single. Other than that congratulations Rita Ora! :)

Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII

2012-09-02T17:53:00.003+01:00

Square Enix have announced another sequel to Final Fantasy XIII...(But its not what you think)

Okay it is what you think but still its different to what we initially expected. Instead of conforming to expectations, Square Enix have announced a new title for the Final Fantasy XIII series called 'Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII'. So yes, its what we've expected, another sequel to FFXIII (which some will groan and shake their heads to whilst others will draw a smiley face). But its not called Final Fantasy XIII-3 and the experience of the game sounds completely different to what we've experienced to either XIII or XIII-2.

The logo for the announced entry to the ongoing tale of bloody cocoon and pulse etc.

So is it a sequel or spin off?

Well in a way it is a sequel in terms of it takes place hundreds of years later after XIII-2. But its being considered as a spin-off due to the title and the departure in terms of game play. Only time will tell. In a way some gamers are interested with the many changes involved for this game its brought hope. For me I would love a conclusion to the cliffhanger of XIII-2 but I guess only time will tell.

The plot of the story according to wikipedia is so far:

"Several hundred years following the ending of Final Fantasy XIII-2, Lightning awakens on a chain of islands known as Novus Partus, floating in the Sea of Chaos. The sprawling islands serve as a last refuge for humanity and the world which was Pulse, while the new Cocoon hovers in the sky above. With only thirteen days left until the world ends,Lightning must fight to save it"

Novus Partus is Latin for 'New Births' which is certainly the feeling we're getting from all the images and gameplay description given so far.

So what do we know so far?

-The story takes place 100 years after XIII-2 finishes in a world, Novus Partus a world made up of four islands connected by a monorail in what's being described as a 'gothical, mechanical and fantasy' style.

-Lightning will need to save the world in 13 days in real-time. Quests and missions can reverse the clock that counts down to Doomsday. Upon hearing this it sounds like L save the world a bit if your familiar with the Death Note series.

- Gameplay will depart from the previous two entries in terms of the ATB system. Lighting can finally be moved by the game player, able to attack, block in real time without the use of a menu. So goodbye pressing automatic x button that decides the whole entire gameplay.

-Character customization ~ So Lightning's costume can be changed altering her battle techniques and so forth. The image below shows a few of the ways Lightning's costume will change.

Spot the difference puzzles!!!! Huzzah! ^^

- Time will play a huge role in this entry as well. Lightning will be able to use moves such as 'Overclock' to slow down time during a fight. This will be interesting to see how it plays out.

- Worlds will interchange between day and night as time passes. (I guess to give that feeling that Doomsday is approaching but its a great extra to the game)

- Lightning will be the only main character. So to those who hate her. I'm so sorry but you'd better skip this entry. (For those of you wanting to see Noel or Serah or that cute moogle forget it me thinks)

-It will be the last entry to the Lightning Saga (I think)

-The game will be released some point in 2013.

- More details to be released on September 4th so watch out!

'The World of Novus Partus Artwork'

No news on Final Fantasy Versus XIII

Square Enix have kindly requested their fans that they're being impatient and to wait for the game alittle longer. I mean honestly final fantasy fans. It's not like you've been waiting six years. What's another year or two to add to the wait? :) The only statement released being:

"I talked to Hashimoto-san about various things. It seems that Versus XIII won't be at TGS. They are concentrating all their resources into the conclusion of the Lightning saga and FFXIV"

You know Square Enix. If Noctis was your son to be born unto the gameplaying world and Lightning is your daughter. All I got to say is you've done a terrible job in showing love is not biased. Sorry Noctis. Lightning needs another story rehashed out the bag. You got to wait.

"BUT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR SIX YEAR!"

"Sorry but we need to focus on Lightning, she's got something special happening"

Regardless of that. Forget Versus XIII. Until there's a release date, pretend its on holiday. Put it on the back of your mind.

On top of that no Type-0 has been released overseas. So no change there as well.

In the meantime enjoy some more teasing of concept art of Noctis.

To conclude...

Good news for Lightning Fans. Not so good news for people expecting other news.

Adieu

TokyoDreamer9

Gossip Girl Sixth and Final Season

2012-08-24T14:53:00.001+01:00

What is Gossip Girl?

For those of you who don't know, Gossip Girl is a TV series based loosely on the novel series by Cecily von Ziegesar. The plot is based on Upper East Side of Manhattan, New York revolving around the lives of the wealthy and powerful as scandal surrounds them. The story is told through a mysterious blogger who is known by the name as 'Gossip Girl'. Hence the title.

Series Logo

How did you discover it?

I discovered Gossip Girl by complete accident. Being bored in Uni, having finished all the Law and Order: SVU episodes and getting fed up of watching Dr House being sarcastic every single second I decided to click on a TV series that kept being shown on the homepage of the site I watch TV series to catch up. I watched the first episode of Gossip Girl and goodness me. The narrator of the opening made me want to close the screen right there, right then. But I stuck through and finished the episode pretty much enjoying it. So I decided to watch episode 2, I was still wondering why am I watching this? The narrator is really annoying and the characters are very shallow and annoying. But by episode 3, I had become addicted and have since then finished season 5 and rewatched the entire 5 seasons again, planning to get the complete boxset after the fated sixth season finishes.

The Cast of Gossip Girl from right to left: Serena Van Der Woosen (Blake Lively), Jenny Humphrey (Taylor Momsen), Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick),Blair Waldorf, (portrayed by Leighton Meester), Dan Humphrey (Penn Badgley), Vanessa Abrams (Jessica Sozhr) and Nate Archibald (played by Chace Crawford).

Gossip Girl is like marmite and also like hard chocolate. I say its like Marmite, because with Gossip Girl you will either Love it or Hate it. And I say its like hard chocolate, because you have to sit through a couple of episodes before you get into it, like letting chocolate melt in your mouth to be able to taste the flavour. At first you'll think, meh this show is abit too dramatized but after a while BAM! Your hooked, like an acid pop addict is addicted to hard acid pop.

Some people use Twitter, I use Google news personally, Upper East Siders use Gossip Girl for the latest news...

What do you like about Gossip Girl?

1. It's different to what I usually watch, that being fantasy, sci-fi etc. Showing it to Kaerith, she enjoyed it but found it very dramatizing at times. But I enjoyed the drama, even when it got completely ridiculous and out of hand at times, that's what made it addictive. It never got boring, and seeing the lives of rich people in New York is hardly dull with hormone driven teenagers sending secrets to a blogger who loves to ruin people's lives.

Kaerith rather enjoyed seeing Chace Crawford portray Nate Archibald

2. The characters~ from the Van der Woosens, to the Humpreys, the Waldorfs and Archibalds etc there is always a character facing a problem or will appeal to the viewer. I loved Blake Lively playing Serena Van Der Woosen, and Kaerith enjoyed the eye-candy of Nate Archibald. I'm guessing this is one of the ways how this series gets its TV ratings. As well as the main characters, the guest characters certainly shake the plot a lot.

Upper East Side, New York

Little Fact: Did you know Lady Gaga grew up in the Upper West Side? Not relevant to Upper East but there ya go :)

3. :O This face that I made just now :O This is what happens pretty much every episode, there never goes an episode without 10 major big things happening all at once that you just go :O And the cliffhangers always leave you going :O

Serena pushes Blair into a cake for calling her basically a slut. :O

4. Comedy~ Gossip Girl makes me laugh a lot. Whether its Blair having her face shoved into a cake by Serena to Rufu's impression of Lily to help Serena with confessing to her mum she's no longer going to Uni. There so many clever one liners and the recurring lines such as , "I'm Chuck Bass!".

5. Important lessons~ You may be thinking I must be looking too deeply into this series if you haven't watched it but there's a lot of messages conveyed that are true. I can't list them all without spoiling the plot but one example I can think off the top of my head is when Serena looks for a job in season 3 and when she finds one, her mum tells her the only reason this woman hired you is because of your connections and you were easy to manipulated. Why else would she employ a teenager with no experience?
And at times in the series there are moments where something shocking happens, courtesy of Gossip Girl but there's always severe consequences. I think of the moment in season 2 in which Blair learns the meaning of her actions when spreading a rumour that Dan was having an affair with a teacher.

Revenge is a common theme in the series...

Gossip girl entering its last season. :(

With Gossip Girl finishing this year, 2012, yes I know SAD FACE! :( I'm a little disappointed the last season is receiving only 10 episodes to close the series. Not only is this short considering the many loose ends that need to be tied left at the climax of season 5 but also it doesn't show CW doing any good justice to the series that brought them in their viewers. But at least we're receiving a resolution instead of cancellation. I just wish we could have gotten some more episodes, but no point crying over spilt milk.

WHY JUST 10 EPISODES!

What do you want at the end?

Rewatching Gossip Girl, I really do miss the beginning of the series where things were more simple. I miss the days Dan and Serena were together and how sweet and simple things were. How Jenny got along with Serena before, Lily and Rufus acted like a team and gave such wonderful parental advice to the teenage characters about life instead of petty fighting over an apartment. At the end of season 5, things had taken 5 steps back in terms of character development. In terms of plot it was interesting but character wise it was a bit of a let down. The only character that hasn't become horrible, is just Nate Archibald and Derota (Blair's maid). It was painful to see everyone turning against each other when in Season 1,2 and half of season 3 no matter what obstacles and problems came people's way friends stuck as friends and families were there for each other. Now its all twisted and let's hope season 6 sorts this.

YAY!

Secondly, and I don't think it will happen. But I would love to see in the last episode all the characters reunite one last time including Jenny Humphrey, Vanessa Abrams and Eric Van Der Woosen. I know the actors are busy with their own projects but it would be wonderful for one last time to see everyone getting one last screen appearance together resolving their differences and issues.

Thirdly, WHO IS GOSSIP GIRL? I mean its annoying how we were tricked to thinking a few times it was one of the characters on screen but who is it? I would personally find it hilarious if its Bart Bass.

Kristen Bell voiced the narrator enigma, Gossip Girl

Which brings us to forth: end couples...

Endgame couples

First things first. We want Chair. Chuck and Blair need to be together. If everything blows up in season 6 just allow one good thing to happen and that's these two. Secondly, I want to see Dan and Serena together. Season 1 was where it started. The things they said to each other and did made them a true genuine couple.

The complicated Love scribble over five seasons of GG :O

I honestly wouldn't mind if Nate ended up with Serena and Dan ended up with Vanessa, (that's if Jessica Sozhr decides to show up for one last guest appearance). I just would like to see the characters happy and reach a resolution to their story.

Five years of GG

And that's it. Thank you CW for 5 years of crazy storytelling from the I am Chuck Bass one liners, Derota's rescues, Blair's scheming, Georgina's worse scheming, Lily's "Keep Calm and Carry on" mantra despite everything blowing up again and the most entertaining series I've watched in awhile. Thank you to the writers, to Cecily von Ziegesar for starting it all, all the actors and actresses. And with that. Here's to season 6.

Counting down to October 8th 2012!

Let's hope everyone's got smiles at the end :D

Signing off!

XOXO
TokyoDreamer9

'I WAS HERE'~United Nations Humanitarian Day 19/8

2012-08-24T12:46:00.004+01:00

What is United Nations Humanitarian Day?

First established back in December 2008, United Nations on August 19th commemorated Humanitarian Day to honor Humanitarian workers who every day around the world work to save people's lives in places where conflict and destitution is commonplace. It is celebrated on August 19th because on this date Humanitarian workers were killed in 2003 in a bombing in Baghdad and since then a day was established to acknowledge the self-sacrifice these people put forth. Its an important day because it highlights an important role Humanitarian plays in the headlines we hear ever day with people dying in developing countries from disasters, famine, war and so forth.

United Nations

Beyoncé, I Was Here

To promote awareness of this day, celebrities such as Beyoncé, Shakira (who is known for her philanthropy of charity to education), Lady Gaga, (known for setting up the Born This Way foundation~ empowering youth) and so forth. Beyoncé performed at the General Aseembly, United Nations in New York with the song, 'I Was Here'. If you have not seen the video, it is underneath.

Beyoncé~ I Was Here

The message

I think this was such a clever idea, to use the song, 'I Was Here' and Beyoncé because it raises awareness of the day and the song encourages everyone to get involved no matter how small the action is. I wouldn't have known about Humanitarian Day but being a Beyoncé fan it made me aware of it and really want to do something towards it. Beyoncé as quoted mentioned the day as:
"On August 19th 2012, it is high time we rise together. Do one thing for another human being. Nothing is too small".

The blue tag in the video pop up in places around the world, as a way of representing people who do their part to leave their mark, their good deed to show they were here, they did something for humanity. I love the concept of it, its so inspiring and clever.

I can't make a difference...

In the words of Mother Teresa, "If you can't feed a hundred, then feed just one". The whole point is to do something to make one difference, no matter how tiny it is. If we all pitched in, uniting together to make a big change instead of giving up because we can't make a huge difference by ourselves like we wanted then things will remain the same.

Already 1 Billion people have done something to make a difference and that's just Facebook statistics, imagine people who don't use the social network site.

It's not l8th August 2012 anymore

It doesn't matter. Just because the day is over, doesn't mean there's still something we cannot do. From donating money, to making a video raising awareness we can all get involved, heck even telling a friend about the day your making a difference. I say this because I don't think people realize how many people put their lives on the line. Most of us see the horrible truth on TV and the news about people suffering and we acknowledge its horrible from the safety and comfort of our home but there are people out there who go out there and risk their lives. I'm doing my part, I can't say what it is at the present time because its under development but I want to leave my mark and tell the world too that I was Here.

To learn more visit WHD-IWASHERE.ORG

Drop your pin and start today to do something for Humanity.

TokyoDreamer9

Anything Could Happen!

2012-08-20T02:30:00.004+01:00

Ellie Goulding has a new album coming out!!!

For those of you who don't know Ellie Goulding. Ellie Goulding is an artist, responsible for the music hits of Starry Eyed and Guns and Horses. With her new album Halcyon coming out soon, she has released her first single from it called Anything Could Happen. If you haven't heard it, give it a listen. It really is good:

The lyric video is composed of fan instagram photos submitted. LOve it!

I just love this song

I've hit the replay button so many times its ridiculous. Cannot wait for her new album, as well as the single Ellie Goulding has released snippets of her new album which I'm excited to seeing. I love the previews, they sound new and freshing. And I just had to share this, the video hasn't received a lot of views and I felt it deserved some promotion :)

Adieu

TokyoDreamer9

TokyoDreamer9 Art Anniversary

2012-08-12T07:05:00.003+01:00

Celebrations

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone for my youtube channel reaching 3,000 views. My video skills are still appalling but little by little I improve. As well as my you tube channel, my secret project has reached over 300 pages, so another celebration for me there too for reaching this milestone. As an anniversary, I have made a video dedicating to all the photography and art of cosplay and so forth in this video. Hope you enjoy it and with that this blog has now been officially directed via youtube, so now nobody has an excuse about not hearing it.

Youtube video

For those of you in Germany, for some weird reason because I used Rihanna's remix of Where Have You Been as the audio for the video, the video has been banned in Germany possibly because the audio isn't available there or something.

Thank you
TokyoDreamer9

Skins Season 7 Speculation

2012-08-08T20:10:00.002+01:00

What is Skins?

For those who don't what Skins is. Skins is in the words of wikipedia that I think justifies this series, a BAFTA award winning British Televison drama series surrounding teenagers living in Bristol through their two years in sixth form college. The series has been highly controversial dealing with topics that have made it highly popular possibly because parents have banned it from their teenagers watching it. But take away the controversy, Skins is a beautiful and fantastic TV series that stands as an art piece. Some people will view it as trash but those who know what I mean, the series has something special. The US tried to remake the series but it flunked like a balloon filled with water instead of helium. Hook, line and sinker.

What do you like about Skins?

There are many reasons I love Skins. Here are some of the few reasons:

1. I love how Skins takes whatever direction it pleases, critics have criticized that the writing can be schizophrenic and leave major plot holes and can be highly unrealistic. Whilst for me its breath of fresh air.

2. Skins has an incredible sense of humour. From the most brilliantly though-out characters that fit into stereotypes to awkward moments and situations there are so many classic moments which makes the series a high rewatch value for myself.

3. It makes me feel better about life. Though the series can be unrealistic at times, many of the characters will have problems, personalities and lives that many teenagers today can relate to. It makes you remember than humans are not perfect, we all have our own insecurities and issues.

Seventh season?

E4 announced they would produce a last season for the series to celebrate this iconic series. If you haven't seen Skins, start at either season 1, season 3, or season 5. Two seasons are dedicated to a generation of characters so you can start with either of those, but most people say the first generation or second generation were the best. I will be discussing spoilers and my thoughts for the seventh season.

Effy smiling because of SKINS SEASON 7!

First Generation

With regards to the First Generation, the loose ends that we were left with regarded whether Tony and Michelle's relationship ever reconciled or not. And whether Sid ever found Cassie. And with the latest new I have been hearing, the actress for Jal is not coming back and the actor for Tony, Nicholas Hoult is not coming back due to being busy with other projects which was a bit of huge letdown seeing as Tony is one of the main protagonists of the first series. Nobody from this generation has confirmed they are coming back for this generation. I hope Cassie comes back, bless Cassie. It would be nice to see Maxxie and Anwar but I have a feeling they won't be coming back either. We shall see what happens.

The Generation that started it all....

Second season promotional photography

Second Generation

Second generation I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE AGAIN FOR a number of reasons. The fourth series ended on such a horrible cliffhanger. With Effy gone mad, Freddie killed by a crazy shrink and Cook the only one discovering the ugly truth I really hope there is some resolution to this generation's story. This generation I have a feeling will be receiving the most TV viewings when it premieres as a lot of fan are dying for a conclusion. So far things look good. The actor for Cook confirmed he was indeed returning and the lovely Kaya Scodelario is definitely for sure coming back, not letting the skins fans down. (Skins would not be skins without Effy Stonem). So I cannot wait for second generation last two episodes, bring it on!

Chewing gum is for chewing chewing! O.o

Third Generation

A lot of people didn't like this generation. My first impressions of season 5 were not good, particularly since there was nobody from season 1,2,3 or 4 to ease us into it like with Effy. Apart from the Doug and Professor Blood, the cast was changed and not even a memorial dedicated to poor Freddie. :( (STUPID FOSTER). However, after finishing the fifth season and beginning the sixth season, I honestly found the sixth season rivaling as the best season of Skins so far. From killing of Grace at the beginning of the series, shocking the fans and the downward spiral of all the characters as they try to cope with the guilt and absence of their friend and the eventual ending in which there's a happy resolution for once.

To be honest, I don't know why third generation are getting a two episode story. The third generation's story ended so perfectly. It shouldn't be touched but we'll see what happens, it'll be nice to see the cast again and what has happened with Minnie and her newborn baby.

Little fun fact: Did you do know the actress that played Frankie in this generation, played the little girl from the film 'The Golden Compass? Shocked me when I found out, she becomes such a potty mouth in Skins.

Rumors that make worried..

There is a rumor that the writer's may kill of a character in each generation story. And the thing is there are no reasons to prove this wrong. Skins is such a schizophrenic series at times, the direction it takes are so bold and brave like the decision to change the cast after the second series, killing off Chris, Freddie and Grace the way they did. But this seventh series has been said to be a celebration for the series overall, I interpret this a moment for the fans to see their favorite characters grow and have a resolution. Regardless I just hope it doesn't happen, otherwise I may disregard the seventh series as canon overall.

January 2013 could not come any sooner! HURRY UP AND END 2012 :/

And in the words of Cook: "That's EFFING BRILLIANT!"

Adieu

TokyoDreamer9

Grace Blood~ Died due to jeep accident in Morocco

Chris Miles~ Death by genetics

Freddie McClair~ Death by cruel writers and a psychotic psychiatrist

RIP Chris, Freddie and Grace. :(

Trolling gone out of control~ Case 1: Plastic Bieber

2012-08-08T19:03:00.001+01:00

Today we do a psychological case overview of another infamous troll: @PlasticBieber

Who's Plastic Bieber?

Hey everyone, sorry I haven't posted in awhile. But today wanted to post on my blog about a certain troll the internet is exploding about, who's only known by the name of Plastic Bieber. Plastic Bieber is a person on twitter who posts the most vilest tweets I have seen in awhile. I only discovered this unfortunate creature when going onto facebook. Being a 19 year old male, you will find I am not a fan of Justin Bieber or One Direction and yet I do not hate them as other people do. They have talent and I like two of Justin Bieber's songs due to them being catchy. (Catchy songs are my weakness, including Friday by Rebecca Black, Swagger Jagger by Cher ) You get the picture. I just prefer other artists such as Rihanna and Jay-Z etc but anyway back to Plastic Bieber. So I only discovered this person via a meme on facebook, apparently she's been doing this for quite some time.

How did you find out about this troll, I mean person :O

I was on facebook and I came across a meme, it was a rather disturbing meme..

After seeing this, I googled to check if this was some kind of horrible joke

No such luck alas. It turns out this PlasticBieber is as real as a duck. And the worst thing is her or his twitter account is still working. Twitter has not blocked this bot (I say bot because a normal human being would have something called empathy?) and the level of harassment and pure vulgarity in her tweets makes me stumped at how she hasn't been deactivated by twitter.

Aren't you overeacting? XD

Here are some of the tweets that Plastic Bieber has posted that made my skin crawl and go >.<.

"Retweet if you're tired of gay, black, handicapped, fat, Muslim, and people taking up all your air"

(Surprisingly 108 retweets :/ Very worrying)

"One time I was dreaming Justin was raping me and it was so hot but my dumb bitch of a mother woke me up in the middle of it for school ugh"

And the list goes on, some are silly, childish, others raise an eyebrow and some go too far.

Now let's pretend this poor misguided creature has posted this in a troubled past and has now turned a new leaf. Well today is 8th August 2012 as I'm writing this, underneath is a screenshot of her profile and we shall see how she's doing today.

Some people post once a month, some a couple days, and some every second. Unfortunately, this person posts ever few hours...

Well, the trolling just continues alas. You can clearly see an inspiration for the tweets in the photos section, with Regina Johnson from Mean Girls. That explains a lot me thinks. A wannabe Plastic? Maybe she's role playing Regina Johnson? And one of her tweets quotes the film, even the name is a dead giveaway. Plastic? Ringing bells.

Why would you think twitter would deactivate her/him? Free speech, its also Twitter, people say what they wanna say.

I say this because recently on the news there were articles making headlines about twitter accounts being suspended due to Olympics controversy. I'm talking about that scandal that involved the man throwing abuse towards Tom Daley after he failed to secure the gold medal for Great Britain in diving or the journalist who posted a public email address of an NBC executive to complain about their covering of the Olympics which caused suspension of the account due to violation of 'privacy' even though the email address is clearly shown on the NBC website for contact details.

If all this fuss is made about twitter cyberbullying and suspension of accounts for violation of posting public email addresses because it revolves around the Olympics, then surely something should be done about this person.

And yet, we still have this horrible, horrible person on twitter.

It's just a troll, get over it.

I honestly do believe this is a troll, no question about it. But I still don't think they should have a twitter account. Trolling is the internet slang/ word for people doing something, saying something outrageous that people think is genuine, but the joke is on them because they are just pretending. I don't mind trolling when it revolves around harmless fun and makes funny memes and puts a smile on people's faces at the end of the day. There is good trolling which I classify as no harm intended and then there's bad trolling, one deliberately intended to provoke people in a horrible way, say the most terrible, controversial things like that infamous girl (who has now deleted her youtube account) posted a video talking about Lady gaga's single Judas being evil.

Another troll: This girl hated the single Judas by Lady Gaga. Sadly, I couldn't get her name because she took down her youtube video. 8 million views the video received and she was trolling like a cheshire cat who's frowning on monkey juice.

It's an eleven year old called Jessica

Okay first things first. We have no idea, who this person is. Every photo you see posted by them could be a lie. For all we know, Plastic Bieber could be a 40 year old man, or a 17 year old boy or heck a computer bot. If it is an eleven year old girl, that really concerns me for a lot of reasons.

Girls that age using twitter at such a young age and posting tweets talking about sex, rape, abortion, profanity and verbal abuse and so forth makes me raise an eyebrow. I honestly think it is someone a lot older than they say they are who knows exactly what they are saying and doing.

Eleven year old girls the last time I checked, (I have four younger sisters), are busy playing games, being creative on art projects, reading books, seeing friends, having fun doing kids things. Unless I'm really being behind the times and the age eleven is the new seventeen in which its now the new trend to start sexting as this person has claimed.

If it is an eleven year old girl. Someone needs to tell her parent, ban laptop use, give her some discipline and possibly a shrink. Nuff said.

To those wishing to take her down

If you want to take down Plastic Bieber in the most kindest way possible. Ignore her. People like these are all over Twitter and its quite simple what they desire. Attention. Even its through the worst ways possible.

You have to be clever because your falling into a trap. Lately we have had a lot of people becoming famous for the wrong reasons whether it was the Double Take girls doing 'Hot Problem's' going viral due to people so badly needing to sharing it and not because it was good but because it was just plain awful.

Whenever you post a youtube video ranting about her, you increase awareness of her. It also bugs me how this person has 64,000 followers. If you are following to see what he/she is tweeting next, STOP FOLLOWING, and stop replying to her tweets or retweeting her. Heck start a trend such as #Unfollowplasticbieber or something.

Especially if it is a troll. They will love the attention, and get off on it, finding it the entertainment of their life. When they get no attention, that's like turning off the TV for a spoilt child.

The troll image~ don't we miss the days of the internet when what people said is what they actually meant. :/

Final Thoughts

The only reason I posted this article is because I've had the final straw with trolling. The number of time twitter has come on the news because of cyberbullying and what not is getting to the point of ridiculous. People are becoming so bored they need to verbal abuse to people they've never met not even face to face like a man but via a tweet. They need to grow up, chill, do something to get rid of their boredom and do something. Watch the Olympics, do the gardening, heck learn a new recipe, just stop harassing people on twitter and our psychological case is over.

Good night and Adieu

TokyoDreamer9

The Afflicted Review

2012-07-31T08:11:00.000+01:00

What is the Afflicted?

The Afflicted is one of those films again which I regret watching. I was searching for Law and Order to watch and came across on the home page for the films a film being recommended called, 'The Afflicted' which had film festival awards and a picture of a closeup of someone's mouth screaming. Reading the plot, it intrigued me thinking it would cover topics that would be interesting to view from a psychological point of view. But after finishing the film it proved to be a bleak and depressing film that served to only make you sick. If you've read my blog before, I did a review on 'Megan Is Missing'. I honestly do not know which is worse. 'Megan Is Missing' or this atrocity. I searched for reviews after watching and getting shocked but only found about two mediocre ones via blogs and wikipedia doesn't even have an entry on this film, so decided to do a review to warn people about this piece of cinema.

This stupid picture is what caught my attention, had I not seen it I would have avoided an awful film that made me feel just completely disgusted. Notice the awards or whatever the heck they are with 2011. I thought it was bound to be a good film. Fell for it hook, line, sinker.

Here is a plot summary that I got from the film website, I will be going further into this so warning for spoilers:

Leslie Easterbrook plays the lead role of 'Mother Maggie', a disturbed mother of four who delivers an unimaginable level of abuse to her children while defending her actions with her own twisted interpretations of the Bible. Three daughters live in constant fear of being beaten and abused by their mentally disturbed mother. Escaping the wrath of their mother seems impossible and proves to be deadly. Based on a true story, The Afflicted takes you inside the lives of those who live in constant fear with no escape.

Who would you recommend this to?

Honestly. I would recommend it to nobody. But I have to recommend it to someone so here goes.

I recommend this to the following:

1. Counselors who are damn useless at their job of recognizing when a child is suffering parent abuse at home and tells them explicitly to their face but listens to the mother.

2. Older brothers who don't know what a bad brother is like.

3. People who enjoy the feeling of depression and sadness to create an art piece of make music, for whatever reason. (Or go and listen to some music)

4. Bored teenagers, adults looking for something horrible and full of suspense and the world's worst and creepiest mum.

5. Social services.

6. Parents, particularly the husband so they recognise when their wives are about to lose it.

What happens in 'The Afflicted'?

Right after reading the plot it sounded like an interesting story covering a tragic true story with an ending that the police and town discover what happens and children are saved. Oh how wrong I was. I should stop thinking these films are going to have a happy ending. Stupid expectations but on with the plot. The story begins with a happy beginning with Carla (played by Katie Hollands) receiving a present of butterflies earrings from Cowboy Profil (played by J.D. Hart). The story is narrated by Grace and I'm sorry but I don't know the actresses name. Its been so hard to find the cast's names even in IMDb which is saying something.

So this is the family:

Father Hank, Mother Maggie played by Leslie Easterbrook, daughters Carla who receives butterfly earrings at the beginning, daughter Cathy who runs for help and daughter Grace who narrates the story from start to finish as well as son called Bill. And the family's friend Cowboy Profil who gave the butterfly earrings.

Now I'm going to copy Axel from Kingdom Hearts and say:

"GOT THAT MEMORISED?"

What happens next?

Following this happy beginning, the next scene involves the father leaving quietly, he dresses quietly leaving the wife asleep, gets his bag and heads quietly to the door. Next thing? She's at the chair and asks him where he's going. Apparently for a walk but she notices he has a bag. He leaves through the door and she hits him with a bat killing him, using rope to attach to a back of car, drags him to the shed and puts his body in the storage box. Oh what a lovely beginning, roll out the rest of the film.

Grace then begins to narrate what happened after the mysterious disappearance of papa

With Daddy gone we see the abuse that occurs in the house with the mother and her daughters. It first starts when Carla tells her mother that she cannot buy alcohol from the store anymore because she is under aged. Her mother's reaction to this is to beat her with a belt and get a pillow to asphyxiate her until her daughter is in tears. This is just the beginning and was bearable, things get worse from here on out. There is a phonecall the next scene (I don't know how much time passes sometimes in the film so I'm going to guess a few days) in which the Mother is being requested to go to school.

One of the other daughters, Cathy has spilled the beans to a counselor about the abuse she is receiving at home. The Mother arrives to school with cowboy Profil dressed nicely with makeup and talking emotionally and kindly wondering where Cathy could have been upset. 'It must be something to do with school, we have such a wonderful home. It upsets me to see her like this'. The counselor is a fool. FOOL FOOL FOOL.

Woman to left is Mother Maggie, gentleman is Cowboy Profit and the idiot with the spectacles is the counselor. WHO TO BELIEVE? A crying girl scared of her mother, or that woman. :/

Cathy returns home with her mother after the counselor believes Maggie and begs her mother to forgive her. The mother tells her to go the house and straightaway the evil look returns and we know oh dear, here we go. She goes to the shed, uses some screw drivers, hammers and some other utensils you use in a shed to build, from going to the convention it looked like a paddle. But this paddle is not for fun but for discipline as the mother announced to her children, hitting Cathy repeatedly.

Thoughts so far...

This is what I was expecting, an alcoholic mother who was having a psychotic episode using religion to abuse her children and maybe a resolution of some sort. Things however take a different turn.

The mother isn't eccentric, she's crazy...

By this point, the mother needs bills paid and is lazy so she comes up with a wonderful idea and goes to her daughter Carla to tell her God told her a way to pay her bills.

Maggie: Carla, I've been having problems paying the bill and asked God for help and he told me a wonderful idea. You can use your daughter, beautiful Carla. Now go make yourself pretty. The men will touch you here and you might enjoy it, or they may go here which is also okay but you need to do it.

Carla: Are you fu***** sick?

Maggie: I AM NOT SICK, I AM JUST TRYING TO PROVIDE A LIVING! (slaps)

Yes you read that right, the mother wants to pimp out her own daughter to pay the rent. :/ Someone get a shrink for the women LIKE NOW!!!!

The next five minutes involve Carla being raped by an ugly man and bursting into tears at the end.

Why did you keep watching?

The suspense and also I had hope, I was hoping they will be able to escape and held onto that wish, hoping for the best after all the suffering they were to endure.

The mother notices she's getting fat.

After going on scales, Maggie the mother notices she's getting fat so takes it out on Cathy force feeding her cake mixture and other food again and again until Cathy revolts by saying she's had enough. At this point the brother, Bill is in the car outside with Cowboy Profit, who tells him about the abuse he endured from his alcoholic father and tells him if he needs a father figure or is in trouble, he only need to tell him.

Now you think this would be a perfect opportunity for the boy to tell him but no he says NOTHING!

ZILCH NADA! ZIPPY DIDO!

When Bill enters the house, the Mother has gotten a gun out and has shot Cathy in the shoulder, the siblings try to call the police but with a crazy woman holding a gun kind of makes it hard. Cathy is then handcuffed to the shower railing and honestly I should stop calling Maggie a Mother at all at this point.Cowboy Profit pays the house a visit without any of the children telling him what has happened even the guy being an idiot when Grace handed a note discretely. Instead of hiding it he waved it around resulting in its disposal by Maggie, know having her eyes on Grace being disloyal. Seducing Cowboy Profit, Grace returns to her room hopeless. Maggie continues to torture her poor daughter and begins saying to her she doesn't know suffering, having a bipolar episode describing a brutal rape episode with her father that sends chills down the spine.

I like Cathy. She was the brave one and the one who had the guts to tell someone. She even stood up to Maggie saying what us on our viewer had on our mind.

"I don't care what excuses you have mum. Nothing justifies this".

Days pass, nobody does anything as Cathy slowly dies from infection with the mother removing the bullet from her but just from the state of Cathy you knew the poor girl had it, guessing septicemia or something. Billy buries her body being the obedient son and now only three children are left.

Happy Families :D

One child down, :(

Oh no poor Cathy, maybe one dies and this encourages the others to stop their mum and escape. I thought after this. (No Adam, you are being delusional, again like Maggie is).

When there's fewer of you, chances of being picked increase...

With Cathy dead or as Grace put it, "Free". There has now been three moments where the nightmare could have ended but has failed on part of Billy, the idiot counselor and Cowboy Twit.

We then see Carla looking at the fast asleep Maggie. This is the adrenaline rushing moment in which Carla collects the keys and tries to escape but fails. Maggie decides to punish Carla by forcing her own two children to beat Carla to a bloody pulp which is where I start to get annoyed.

Grace hits Carla three times until Maggie is satisfied. But Billy, the brother hits his sister to the point when you finally see Carla's face in the closet her body is dragged to, her face is unrecognizable. Grace narrates the reason being for their obedience because it was the first time they felt their mother loved them and praised them. I know these children will be psychologically messed up but Billy irritated me. Why would he hit his poor defence-less sister with such rage. Was he releasing that rage he had built up against his mother?

Or heck, in some reviews some people pointed this out why didn't the children turn on the mother. Maggie's son was taller and perhaps stronger than the mother and they outnumbered her. However, I guess psychology plays an explanation again. With the constant abuse, they felt constantly trapped and powerless even when in reality they were not.

Carla is next to die as again nobody does again, even Billy who leaves the house to go to work. BROTHER OF THE YEAR GOES TO: NOT BILLY!

Carla's body

Billy dumps his sister which he killed into a cardboard box, dumps into the middle of nowhere and sets it alight. I did not understand one simple logic of this. Wouldn't the kindest thing to do, after all he did would be to bury his poor sister. No I'll just dump her on the side of the road and set her alight like a kebab. Job done he drives off saying to himself "What the eff am I doing?".

Me: Yes Billy, I was wondering myself too. WHAT THE EFF ARE YOU DOING?!

Maggie loves Billy and Grace a lot after how well they taught that Carla a lesson. But without Carla, she turns Grace into the new escort of the family for the ugly truck driver. Grace reaches breaking point after also being raped and cannot handle it anymore.

The Brutal and stupid finale~ in which we learn the blurb of the film had a rhetorical question. THERE IS NO RUDDY ESCAPE.

I'm fed up of retelling the plot so I'm going to hurry it up.

Cowboy Profit spends fifteen minutes at a strip club before being kicked out and driving around in a stupid manner. I'm surprised he didn't have an accident with the amount of alcohol he chugged down. The police discover Carla's body and Cowboy Profit sees the commotion, he looks at the body to see the Butterfly earrings. The same butterfly earrings he gave as a present to Carla.

"That demonic bitch!" he yells getting into the car without even telling the police. What a bright bloke, oh well he is a cowboy, and the people with brain cells have already been killed off.

Me: Hooray, justice that is too late as the rest of the characters get killed off.

Grace looks as though she is about to kill herself as she slits her wrist with a knife, she does it but it turns out to all be act for her Maggie. Dropping the knife on the floor and calling for her, she sees the knife and notices her slit wrist. Whilst Maggie is distracted, Grace pulls out the gun and shoots the bitch in the chest. (Pardon my language but after 1 hour of watching a mother treating her children like that, it makes me quite huzzah).

Maggie dies. And not even brutally, slowly or even disgracefully.

Me: Antagonist is dead! Hooray, that means the children are free!

Billy returns home, finds the home bloody and his mother dead. STAB! Grace sticks a knife into his chest and holds it there as Billy dies.

Me: What goes around comes around~ as said by Beyoncé

Cowboy Profit reaches the residence opens the door to find the mess, I mean Tragedy with Grace putting a gun at her head, ready to blow her brains out.

Paradox narration. :O

Cowboy Profit tries his best to make Grace see sense, apologizing he didn't realize earlier when she gave him the note even offering to put himself in prison for the girl to have a second chance at life.

Me: COME ONE GRACE! Live for you sisters, make something of yourself, tell people your story, get counseling and live. You can do it. Listen to the cowboy.

Grace: (Blows her brains out)

Me: What the hell, you were narrating the story to us, how can you do a first-person narration if you died. Great another story with no point and no survivors. At least Cowboy Profit survived?

Even Romeo and Juliet ending was Tragedy as a result of Love, this was the result of mummy issues.

Final thoughts.

This was not what I was expecting and good lord. This is why children are not home-schooled in the U.K. or why we don't sell guns. The only pros of this film is that it made me feel better about my life and learn how to identify mothers who need a shrink on the double and what NOT to do being an older brother. With that, I have written this long post that has taken 2 hours to write so people know what this film is really about without being deceived by the poster. The film has a good performance by Leslie Easterbrook, she will creep you at Maggie without a doubt but do not expect the film to have a resolution. Its meant to be bleak, depressing, disgusting and just meant to make you feel crap. But now I have warned you.

This is TokyoDreamer9

Adieu

Olympics Opening Ceremony Thoughts

2012-07-30T00:02:00.001+01:00

Best opening of Olympics by far :D

Four years since the last Olympic when I was watching it at the age of 15 in Morocco, Beijing 2008. Alot of hype was surrounding London hosting the Olympics and it more than lived up to it. The Olympics opening ceremony was incredible. I cannot remember the last time I sat in front of a TV for five hours straight, cheering, smiling, laughing and just having an incredible time. My Facebook and Twitter exploded and I tweeted over 200 tweets, a rare feat I have never achieved before just to show the extent of how fun it was. On Facebook everyone was talking about it, constant status updates as we were all shocked and amazed by appearances of Rowan Atkinson doing his part as Mr Bean causing hysterics. J.K. Rowling appearing to read an extract for the Literature part of the opening. My favourite part was the NHS sequence which involved children in night beds and nurses and doctors danced around them, once night arrived evil forces such as the Child Snatcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Voldemort from Harry Potter began before the good guys came to save the day. People also acted out Britain's history of the Victorian age with factories and furnaces as well as the Women's suffragettes including the music era. From also the Queen's entrance with Daniel Craig as James Bond jumping from the helicopter with parachutes, the night never failed to entertain and amuse one bit.

The Rings connecting! The number of times my mouth was wide open in awe I lost count :O

The Lovely J.K. Rowling

Rowan Atkinson~ A Legend

Voldemort Versus Mary Poppins in Literature~ Kaerith wished Aslan from Narnia made an appearance

Danny's Boyle's music score

One reason we still haven't seen a sequel to 28 weeks later is because Danny Boyle has been busy preparing for the Olympics. I honestly thought the music he provided for the event was nothing short of just INCREDIBLE. And it was perfect because 28 days later and 28 weeks later are both set in London with scenic empty landscape shots of London, so the soundtrack suited it perfectly. The one good thing I can say about the Olympics ending is that Danny Boyle will finally begin work on 28 months later since he will then be free (fingers crossed).

The beautiful and talented Emeli Sande sings 'Abide by Me', featured in 28 Days Later when Jim discovers his parents died peacefully in the aftermath

3 hours of 284 nations being introduced...

I loved the opening ceremony but goodness me that parade which introduced the countries I didn't enjoy as much. And also the number of countries which made me want to get an Atlas out or Google it. Places like Muamba, Saint Kitts and Nevis and Seychelles (I look at my tweets as saying this because they were easy to forget). I kept feeling very stupid when my face pulled a frown as I thought "THAT'S A COUNTRY!?". And the letter A and B dragged on for 45 minutes. But at least we know everyone in the world is being involved I guess. As well as the long duration, alot of people were tweeting, about how sorry they felt for the drummers. Can you imagine how tired those poor poor drummers must have felt, drumming for 3 hours straight. And the reaction of Queen Elizabeth II was priceless that there were a lot of memes, but in defense of the Queen not looking impressed with the 3 hour duration of countries being introduced she is very old and to stay up that late with the energy and also the high heels. Bless her Majesty for that effort, she really did amazing. I screamed loudly for Japan! Being a Tokyo Dreamer. Morocco and France for my family from there and sat through the whole 3 hours for my country, Great Britain which came last as we are currently hosting the Olympic Games this year. :)

My favourite meme XDDDD

After all the flags gathered on the hill...

We were all dying to find out who was going to carry the olympic flame for the final run as David Beckham and an athelete in a speed-boat approached the last run under London Tower Bridge. We were all hoping it would be David Tennant to commemorate Doctor Who and its British culture and impact, particularly the season 2 episode with Billie Piper playing Rose Tyler called 'Fear Her'. Or heck even David Beckham. Instead it was a male athlete who won something in the last Olympics.

My reaction was "Who the f*** is that?" O.o You can imagine the memes that started popping up on Facebook.

The 2006 episode of Doctor Who, 'Fear Her' must have taken place in a parallel universe. :/

The ceremony ended with the beautiful cauldron being lit.

And it was a beautiful cauldron, the image I was getting was a flower coming to life, its stem bouncing up. We also saw UN leaders holding the last flag showing the Olympics logo representing all five nations and Muhammad Ali which brought a tear to my eye. Such an emotional and fantastic opening. Even without David Tennant it was beautiful and brought the whole world together under one starry sky. That day 1 billion people tuned in to see the world celebrating all together in one city and that's why the Olympics is still going even since Ancient Times. This is TokyoDreamer9 signing off for the Hunger Games, I mean Olympics. :D

The Grand Finale

Cannot wait for Nicki Minaj new single

2012-07-29T23:02:00.001+01:00

Pound the Alarm!

Nicki Minaj's latest single Pound The Alarm will be having a music video release soon, currently being filmed in Nicki's home, Saint James Trinidad and Tobago and from the preview I cannot wait. If you have not heard the song, here is the youtube link. Its currently on the top 40s single chart for the UK.

I <3 Face Painting! ^^

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HouET3H0vAE

Why do you like Nicki Minaj's music?

Nicki like all the artists I like at the moment always makes such catchy music and her raps are also as addictive. The Beez in the Trap is my personal favourite, when someone has been annoying you its just the perfect song to start playing and telling the world to get lost. I also like her colourful outfits and her attire choices, artists that change their attire choices extravagantly each time they appear are a lot more interesting, its what makes them artists. Both their music and their fashion combined gives them that title.

Also I love her accent and alter egos particularly in the songs, Moment 4 Life and Roman Holiday in which you hear them. Makes me smile so much these songs. So in conclusion I like Nicki's music because it does what music is supposed to do, make you smile, dance, laugh and shake your fist at the world when it gets you down.

Lady Gaga comparisons

With regards to the Lady Gaga comparisons that I've noticed on many websites including youtube all I got to say to those people is to chill. People love to compare artists today and say "THAT ARTIST IS A COPYCAT!" "BURN THEM AT THE STAKE" "BUY THEIR ALBUM AND BURN IT!". And I'm like, wowwww, chill.

1. Nicki Minaj is aware of comparisons as people have already asked her in interviews, she replied to this with a response that makes a lot of sense. A lot of the female artists this generation are using wigs, outfits the lot to promote their music. Its not just Lady Gaga using extravagant costumes, Katy Perry, Rihanna etc are just some of the few.

2. Lady Gaga does pop music whilst Nicki Minaj does rapping, those are two completely different genres of music. So I'm guessing its Nicki's clothes choices. Do not forget Lady Gaga is inspired by older generation artists such as Madonna, David Bowie and fashion, she didn't design all her outfits. She knows where the clothes came from, the designer etc but she has a team that discusses with her what her next clothes are going to be.

3. There is a difference between copying and inspiration, copying is when you take an idea and claim it as your own. Inspiration is when you take an idea/ concept you like and change it to make it your own. Lady Gaga was inspired by David Bowie in the Just Dance music video when doing the blue lightning bolt across her face, and from all the costumes she has done a lot of artists may have also been inspired from this. This is good because it means people are joining the trend.

My point is people need to calm down and just enjoy the music. I know people want to prove their how hardcore they are as fans and how much they love the people that inspire them but recently on the news I saw a fan videotaped himself harassing Nicki saying she ripped off Lady Gaga which I just thought was ridiculous. Lady Gaga's message of equality and love everyone sometimes does not get into some thick people's skulls unfortunately. Last time, people were bullying Adele after she beat Lady Gaga to a few off the awards, going onto their twitter to call her names. And its quite sad unfortunately. :(

I love Lady Gaga and I also love Nicki Minaj. They are two talented females producing music to entertain, if you don't like their music there's over billions of other music to listen to.

Other than that, cannot wait for Pound The Alarm and Roman Reloaded is available on iTunes and in stores.

Alter Ego: Ziggy Cloud born

2012-07-26T18:31:00.002+01:00

What is an alter ego?

An alter ego comes from Latin, 'The other I'. In other words, a second self of a person that is distinctly different from a person's normal or original personality.

For those who know me...

In real life people know me as normal and boring, Adam. On the internet I call myself TokyoDreamer9, reasons for why I discussed a few months back on this blog. I have an eccentric side that appears when I become bored, hence why making this blog, to channel all that frustration resulting in me going mad to something possibly creative and time-fulfilling. But recently I got annoyed by some people and decided to take the side of me that is crazy and eccentric and make it an alternate persona to myself. In real life I have to put on a brave face sometimes and be polite with people a lot even when they're rude to me. I decided if I made another persona that was not me, I could start changing a bit more. This has been done by quite a few people I notice including Beyoncé when it came to performing as Sasha Fierce to get on stage. But I'm not performing, this is just to deal with life in general and also when people decide to walk all over me I can open my mouth and give them a thought or two.

Such silly reasoning :/

Well...its just....

Screw you!

See what I did there. Just turned to Ziggy. Now go make a remix of how bad your life is.

If you always think the following:

What will people think of me if I say that? I don't want to hurt that person's feelings. I don't want to be rude. To the extent your feelings are not taken into consideration you need to say No.

If you don't know what I'm talking about. Congratulations, you've reached it. YOU DA BOSS!

For some reason its Ziggy Cloud.

Don't ask me why, Ziggy chose it and that's all I can say. Other than that. Yes.

Goodnight
TokyoDreamer9 Vs Ziggy C.

Misha B's New Single~ Home Run

2012-07-26T17:21:00.002+01:00

Misha B has a new single and accompanying music video

Misha B for those of you who who don't know what I'm talking about is an artist that was in last year's X Factor, so 2011. Yes 2011. Just remembered its 2012. For me, Misha B was one of the best artists vocally and how she ended up in the bottom two demonstrated the X Factor is sometimes a popularity contest rather a talent contest. I liked how she wasn't scared to try individual, unique looks it made it refreshing for us to watch X Factor. Since then she has released a new single on June 25th 2012 which I only just discovered and having just subscribed to her VEVO Channel.

If you haven't seen the music video, the link for the youtube video is below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaOw35GBPQw

The song is called Home Run

Misha B has really gone for the Home Run with this debut single. And it sounds amazing!!!! I can't describe how but the song is just delicious for the ears and the music video will provide such eye candy with the paint, and background colours. It reminds me of Rihanna's 'Rude Boy' and Nicki Minaj's album cover artwork for 'Roman Reloaded'. I'm surprised it hasn't received a lot of views. Hence why I am blogging about it, it deserves more. It will always be beyond me why people choose to share terrible videos like last month's Hot Problems which thanks to becoming viral has not made those girls infamous and earn some more money to make more atrocious music. Whilst, Misha B has talent and I can see becoming an icon. If you have liked this music video, please share it. Good Artists need promotion, because I'm tired of awful stuff being made viral and this song has not been heard on the radio or received the promotion it needs.

To Misha B :)

Keep going, we need an album and more singles!!!! And I am happy for you. All the best :D

Peace

TokyoDreamer9

Dark Knight Rises Massacre

2012-07-26T16:47:00.002+01:00

Films should never have openings like this. Ever.

First things first. All my prayers go to all the families and victims affected by this horrible tragedy, I started this entry days ago and couldn't bear to continue because it was still sinking in.

First hearing the news:

I was in a car, being driven back from Essex when my friend Kaerith told me that on Twitter it was trending that people had been shot in a cinema to a viewing of The Dark Knight rises by a guy trying to impersonate the joker.

Marvel frenzy

This news shocked me but also horrified me. Marvel is highly popular at the moment with Thor, The Avengers Assemble, Iron Man etc clocking in the box office numbers. I went to see The Avengers Assemble, (which by the way is incredible) and it makes you think how short life is. It could have been any of us in a cinema watching a film, the least likely place you'd think something bad would happen. The incident also brings to light about how USA has guns available.

If you love guns, put fingers in your ears, caus I'm gonna diss 'em

I don't know what the laws are about selling guns in the US being from the UK but over here. Getting a gun is like getting 3 weeks of no rain in March. Its impossible! Period. Only police and military have access to it. I was also watching Law and Order: Special Victims Unit (which is set in Manhattan, New York, basically USA) and the number of times somebody had gun when they were not supposed to including underage children was shocking. There are arguments that I'm sure people will argue why people should be able to carry guns e.g. to protect themselves. But there really needs to be more restriction on who buys it, particularly the ones this criminal had when he did what he did.

Memes and Jokes regarding Dark Knight Incident...

Some of the jokes I have seen on Facebook and twitter related to the incident are not funny. This is a tragedy not a joke. People actually got hurt, its not some viral video on You tube of people doing silly things. Find something else to make jokes about, but show respect because let's face it, almost everyone goes to cinema these days and it could have been you. LECTURE ENDS there

Obama didn't name the man who impersonated the joker.

When I heard what Obama said about this incident I honestly did smile. Wise words there as he said "although the perpetrator of this evil act has received a lot of attention over the last couple of days, that attention will fade away". From what I have seen with films such as 'We Need To Talk About Kevin', these incidents usually happen because the killer wants to be famous, craves attention. And Barack Obama is right. At the end of the day, the criminal will get locked up and put in prison. And the families and victims will be the ones who are remembered and honored.

Peace

TokyoDreamer9

My prayers also go out to the anniversary of the Oslo incident of Norway. I pray next July in 2013 we do not have another incident of gun violence.

Thoughts on Kristen Stewart Cheating

2012-07-26T16:15:00.000+01:00

Oh dear, what happened :(

This morning I turned on my laptop, went onto google news. I like knowing what's happening around the world via google news than a newspaper, saves spending money ;) And under the usual articles about the Olympics in London, icebergs melting and politics. I noticed an article that was trending that was discussing about Kristen Stewart cheating. I was like what on earth is going on, so clicked onto it and began reading. To be honest I'm not shocked but also disappointed.

From Twilight to Snow White...

I remember watching the trailer for Snow White and the Huntsman and thinking that looks like an amazing film but a lot more was happening behind the scenes that expected. Kristen according to the rumours and I don't think they are rumours, from Kristen's public apology to photography and sadly the camera never lies unless one uses photoshop, it looks like Kristen cheated on Robert with the director who was also married and I have a feeling Kristen also met the wife.

So what got you typing about this? O.o Its just celebrity gossip again right.

The reason I wanted to talk about it was because I find it really disappointing Kristen would do this. A lot of people already criticize her in her role as Bella in Twilight and in Snow White, one thing that put off my friend Kaerith from going to see it was Kirsten was in the film. But I thought for once, here's where she wiill finally begin to evolve as an actress and maybe prove people wrong about her acting skills. Now I have never hated Bella from the Twilight series until seeing Eclipse in which she cheats Edward with Jacob and there I was like. LOST COMPLETE RESPECT!

Actors act characters, but Kristen for me has just completely become like Bella in that respect after hearing this, which is terrible really. And I feel sorry for Robert. Also all of these relationships were born out of film-making.

(FILM MAKING Y RU RUINING RELATIONSHIPS?)

Also the article discussed how an earlier interview with Kristen discussed she wanted something to f*** her life up and make it go wild.

Be careful what you wish for strongly comes to mind.

Lady Gaga tweets...

Lady Gaga tweeted how appaling the paparazzi were eating up this story as though its icecream. And I agree with her. I never typed into google news the following:

Kristen Stewart

Robert Pattison

Twilight

It was underneath the olympics article O.o How tragic is that?>.<

If I made a mistake like spilling paint all over the M25 and it was plastered next to the Olympics 2012, I'd feel pretty bad about myself >.<

I agree with Lady Gaga with the respect that this affair should be left to be sorted between the people it affected. But also that's the price of fame unfortunately especially when many of these people involved have used the paparazzi to promote films and events, its a double edged sword.

What now?

I don't know because

1. We don't know the whole story or picture, news is always biased.

2. Humans are humans. We're not perfect despite what some people like to think of themselves.

3. Wrong place, wrong time?

I hope Kristen and Robert get back together if they're relationship is as genuine as they claim it to be and Kristen learns a lesson from this.

Why's that?

People make mistakes, its also up to Robert whether he can forgive. But I look at Kristen and Robert as people who are victims of the Fame, they rose to high popularity due to the ahem...Twilight Saga thing and a lot of people feel the bad side of it. It's why Beyoncé never goes on tabloids a lot or interviews about her personal life, she draws a distinct line.

And with that, I can't wait for the Olympics, it begins tomorrow. :) YAY!

(Apart from the fact the motorway and trains are down but other than that HOORAY!)

Final Fantasy Versus XIII Cancelled Rumour

2012-07-23T17:47:00.005+01:00

My thoughts on FFVERSUSXIII being canned

First things first, I honestly believe this is just a rumour. I have my reasons which I will start saying in a moment. For those who don't know what Final Fantasy Versus XIII, you must be fairly new to the world of RPG gaming or been living under a rock if you've played Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts or any Square Enix related game. The game was first announced in 2006, a ridiculous time to announce a game that had just began development. Since then, only trailers and teasers have been released with no demo or gameplay tried. Since then Final Fantasy XIII has been released, Final Fantasy Agito has been renamed to Type-0 and also released (although a western release is still lacking) and also a sequel to XIII and a highly likely third sequel to be announced September 1st 2012 by the looks of things.

The logo for Final Fantasy Versus XIII is highly fitting, a game that's gone to developmental sleep

Why I think Versus XIII has not been canned:

1. Six years of development time and teasing. With that amount of time, energy and costs that's like wasting 3 hours making an extravagant cake and then giving up before putting the dough mixture into the oven. I'm using a poor analogy but its just ridiculous. I was 13 years old when Versus XIII was first shown and now 19. Talk about waiting for a bus that was never going to make an apperance.

2. If Versus XIII has been cancelled, what is Square Enix going to do with all that free time. Work on that pitiful excuse of Final Fantasy XIV. No matter how hard they try to improve it, the damage is done. First impressions are what stick with people. Final Fantasy XIV might be good now, heck it might be perfect but people will still think its bad from their first impressions. Also Tetsuya Nomura noted that Kingdom Hearts III would be started when Versus XIII was complete. No word on that either as of yet, which suggests Versus is still in development.

3. A scam~ Kotaku magazine reported this rumour apparently from credible sources. First of all, a lot of people are dying and also impatient to see Versus XIII. This rumour of it being cancelled could be a way of trying to make Square Enix make some sort of announcement about the game or leak some details about it in a hope to reassure fans resulting in details of the game being shown. Which will not work because S.E. are not the type to spill the beans. Gaming magazines are also like tabloids in the sense, they need to fill their pages with rumours and gossip about latest games which most of the time is not true and also to keep readership rates high.

4. Square Enix have a lot to lose by canning this game. Not a lot of fans were impressed with Final Fantasy XIII and didn't stick around for XIII-2. For some XIII-2 was a kick in the face when they specifically requested Versus XIII. Ask Square Enix for chocolate icecream, oh hello vanilla icecream which I didn't ask for. A lot is at stake with this game in terms of Final Fantasy's brand with some of Square Enix staff admitting that FF has been going downhill lately.

Stella: Noctis have you heard? Noctis: What? Stella: We've apparently become vapourware, our story shall never be told. (sad face) Noctis: I don't give two sh***

There is a chance it could have become vapourware...

Some people are saying if this is true, Square Enix have transferred the content to Final Fantasy XV for a fresh start. One friend of mine called Kaerith, thought this was a wise move seeing the number XIII being damaged by the title Final Fantasy XIII. But I don't like it for two reasons.

1. Final Fantasy Versus XIII was made initially to be a darker Final Fantasy game with blood and violence with gameplay being inspired by Kingdom Hearts. It doesn't feel like a main entry game to me and shouldn't be treated as such and also goes against what Square Enix said initially about the game's concept and it being part of the Fabula Crystallis whatever the heck it was called.

2. Final Fantasy XV should be a brand new game, not something rehashed out of pure laziness that you've been teasing fans for about six years. Its rude and just gah rant over.

"WHAT!!!! NO FFVERSUS XIII!!!! Men I order you to KILL SQUARE ENIX!"

September Square Enix conference 2012

September 2012 is when a lot of new things are going to get announced, including by the looks of things, a Final Fantasy XIII third sequel. I really hope Square Enix release details about Versus XIII because not to be frank but this is beyond ridiculous. Six years and only two trailers and a teaser. If they don't contradict the rumours, it will not do a lot of good for the final fantasy franchise. Other than that, fingers crossed this game has not been canned but I'm not holding my breath for news on it, Type-0 held my breath and passed out and its still not here.

Vanille is very sad about Final Fantasy Versus XIII and Type-0 not being released as of yet. OH WELL! There's always Final Fantasy XIII-3?!

Dark Cloud 3

2012-07-23T17:05:00.001+01:00

Level-5 on making Dark Cloud 3 or is it just a dream?

For those of you who don't know Level-5. Level-5 is a Japanese video game developer that has made some of the most amazing and well received RPGs that compete with Square Enix. Videogames they have published include Dark Cloud, Dark Cloud 2 (Dark Chronicle in Europe), Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King, Rogue Galaxy, Professor Layton Series, White Knight Chronicles and now recently they have collaborated with Studio Ghibli, the anime studio behind classics such as Spirited Away and my Neighbor Totoro to produce Ni no Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch.

Back in 2009, when discussing about White Knight Chronicles, the CEO developer Akihiro Hino was asked about a sequel to Dark Cloud series and said the company would consider it if enough of the community asked for it. Now straight away I sent an email, signed a petition you name it. But I do wonder if they are giving us false hope. No matter how many times I sign up to facebook groups, sign petitions, send emails requesting the game- nothing. What is with game developers not interested in providing the game a fan wants. I understand that they want to explore down other paths and try new things but would it actually hurt to make something for the fans just once.

Dark Cloud 2~ One of the most underrated PlayStation 2 games ever

Remakes that publishers do not wish to do e.g. Final Fantasy VII

Other examples I'm thinking of publishers not wishing to remake or release sequels is Square Enix. And I'm thinking in particular to Final Fantasy VII. Unlike Dark Cloud, Final Fantasy is a lot more successful and more heard of, Final Fantasy VII has sold so many units and regardless of what many people think is considered the most popular entry in the series to date. And yet for so many reasons even after millions of requests Square Enix will still not consider a sequel, only leaving hints, teasers and the lot that developers continually do.

I know why Square Enix cannot make Final Fantasy VII, a lot is at stake in terms of development time, destroying the classic per chance and making the fan community angry etc etc etc. But going back to Level-5, a lot of these reasons are not in place. The only reason I can think of is that they themselves what to leave Dark Cloud behind. I'm saying this because I'm tired of all this waiting.

Even Dirge of Cerberus ended on a cliffhanger, what happens next?

Waiting?

I'm tired of waiting for:

Dark Cloud 3

Kingdom Hearts 3

Final Fantasy VII remake

Final Fantasy Versus XIII

I'm even tired of waiting for Final Fantasy Type-0 to be released in the west even after promises of it happening. In short, I wish game developers would stop giving their fans false hope and either say yes or no to a sequel or remake. How about all of you? Are you tired of waiting? Are there games you wish could see the light of day, heck even a HD remaster or have you moved on a long time ago?

Regardless of time, I continue to wait for these titles but when I remember them after so long I do honestly why it hasn't happened as of yet.

TokyoDreamer9

Fifty Shades of Grey

2012-07-22T00:45:00.001+01:00

What is the book everyone is going on about? O.o

When I went to the land of Essexia the other day with Kaerith and Mrs C. we looked inside WHSmith and shopped inside Tesco in which I noticed a particular book has gained quite a lot of popularity being continually put on display. Its called 'Fifty Shades of Grey' by E.L. James. The book had a picture of a tie on it and after typing Rihanna into google news the book was mentioned again, when a fan tweeted the singer to read it she replied to them to go eff themselves, "#phuckyoamateurs" was what she said specifically. Okay RiRi no need to start some more twitter beef. O.o

But seriously, what is it with books gaining so much popularity and its been over a year since they were released. The Hunger Games was not a new book, it only became very hyped when the film was released and then people began to notice the books. However, having read and seen The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins I can say that popularity is understandable as the book is excellent and has a fantastic and emotional plot line. But Fifty Shades of Grey unfortunately I have not read yet and upon reading the plot on wikipedia, its quite a controversial book. Touching upon topics of S&M, sadism, bondage and masochism. I guess that explains the sequels in the trilogy I saw in WHSmith in which I saw handcuffs as one of the front covers.But I do wonder about its popularity. Are people reading it because its the latest trend, a movie is being made of it, its controversial topics, or the fact its in the genre of erotic fiction and they need something to steam it up. Or is it just that a GOOD BOOK. For those of you who have read it. Would you recommend it?

I'm guessing the tie on the front cover refers to one of the protagonists is the billionaire entrepreneur, Christian Grey who I'm guessing like with all business men likes to wear a tie. Hence the cover.

A Trip to the land of Essexia with Kaerith and Mrs C.

2012-07-22T00:23:00.006+01:00

In which it rained and a lot of things happened that resulted in me giggling a lot...

Do you remember when I said that I had a house, and then I lost it, well after Kaerith called up some realtors and people to arrange viewings, Mrs C. Kaerith's mummy gave us a lift to see those viewings. I am so happy Kaerith and Mrs C. helped me so much that day. With the landlord pulling out I sunk into Depression and was not heading to sleep at quite late hours, so late it became morning. Which as you can see is quite late. Anyway, Kaerith was kind to arrange the viewings and Mrs C for arranging to be our taxi for the day free of charge ALL THE WAY TO the land of Essexia so I thank the lord for that and them. Kaerith told me I had to go to bed early because they were picking me up at 9am.

Kaerith: Adam, you got to go to bed early!

Adam: Okay, I will.

Kaerith: Good, caus if you don't I'm hitting you with a spade!

Adam:..... Okay.

But by some unlikely events, I didn't go to bed early. I went to 5am in the morning.

Four short hours of sleep later. I was awake and in the back of the car driving to Essex or as I would like to call it Essexia for it sounds like we're travelling to a kingdom where something magical and full of a lot of ecstasy will occur. Things started very positive, apart from being tired we had a lovely chat in the car but lord oh lord. The journey to Essex is very long and brutal. Luckily Mrs C stopped for a rest break and the journey was very quick. Unfortunately the same couldn't be said for the journey back due to the rain being a poo but we'll get to that in due time.

So what was the first place you saw?

We saw the dorms we saw with Madnut that I wasn't impressed by. Cost-wise it was good and after a second-look it didn't seem that bad. The only thing that made me go meh was the shared bathrooms. But if its shared with 5 people. There's about 3/5 chance that the bathroom will be filthy or have an unflushed toilet.

What happened after that?

Kaerith had some bad news. And it turned out to be quite a jinx the next viewing. Kaerith said the realtor for the next places we were going to check out were sleeping due to a night shift so were meeting us no longer at midday but at 4pm. Mrs C noted the question we were all wondering:

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO WITH ALL THAT TIME?

We decided to go to Clacton to the beach. In Clacton, because I was fasting I enjoyed getting high watching the ocean waves, watching Kaerith and Mrs C enjoying icecream and burgers. Watching Kaerith draw Rydia <3 Edge in the sands, this was followed by going on the Clacton pier where Kaerith thrashed me in a game of air hockey.

(For the record Kaerith has beat me in every game, whether its video game, arcade game and its highly frustating.)

After walking to the edge of the pier and discovering some people fishing in which we all agreed is a highly dull sport I learnt from Mrs C that I was spamming facebook a lot and I told Kaerith her hair looked frizzy again.

After a lot of revelations and shocks we returned back to land and searched the desolate town of Clacton and I would never move to Clacton based on the high street. It was pitiful how they didn't have a HMV store.

What was Clacton High Street like?

Clacton High Street was peculiar, there was alot of people shouting for no reason and there was fountain which the pigeons were bathing and drinking from only for us to discover a sign that said:

"DO NOT DRINK FROM THIS WATER, IT HAS CHEMICALS IN IT"

Poor Kaerith almost cried hearing this news.

What happened after that?

We returned to the car and drove back to Essex where we waited by the next accommodation for the realtor. We still had an hour and 30 minutes left before she arrived. So we played I spy.

The rest of the story will be continued in the next entry...

Kingdom Hearts 3DS: Dream Drop Distance

2012-07-17T23:33:00.002+01:00

Obsessions Weather Forecast

Here has been my obsession piecart forecast over June and July 2012. It first began with Gossip Girl, then went to Skins, then Poppy Shakespeare, then Jacuzzi s, then houses I couldn't afford and finally Kingdom Hearts.

I cannot wait for Kingdom Hearts 3DS: Dream Drop Distance to be released. Even when it gets released I still can't play it because I still haven't bought a Nintendo 3DS due to having no money at the current moment and also finding the console abit pitiful having only 2 hours of battery life for playing. I'm not joking but smartphones have longer battery life than a Nintendo 3DS and people complain how they don't last a day.

Why are you looking forward to KH3DS?

I'm looking forward to it because it means the story finally gets some progress even though I've already spoiled it by looking at wikipedia. The battle system is apparently meant to be so smooth and also Tetsuya Nomura said once this is finished and released it means KH3 will be next. FINALLY KH BACK TO HOME CONSOLE. It's been 6 years since KH2 release and I'm tired of spinoffs and prequels being released on hand-held consoles that result in me fishing out money for the console because alas I haven't bought the console yet and its annoying. Apart from Kingdom Hearts 1 and 2. Every KH game has been released on a new console each time, never a same one. Imagine how frustating that must be for KH Fans.

Worlds of Kingdom Hearts

Apart from Square Enix having some weird reason for making us return to traverse town again!? We have some new worlds including hunchback of notre dame. But I really hope we get Toy Story in KH3. We also got some emo kids from a new game Square Enix made. The dude that looks like Sora except wears purple attire.

What's KH3DS About? Spill the beans...

If you must know, from what wikipedia told me (unless a bad fan changed it since anyone can edit wiki).

Sora and Riku go to Yen Sid who tells them that Xehanhort or whatever his name is that basically he's coming back and even more stronger. Oh no! (That;s good for us, because it means more sequels of KH for the fans including KH3). He begans testing them for the mark of mastery exam for being a keyblade warrier. How the game plays out from here is you alternate between Riku and Sora in a world of dreams. So for example, instead of heartless there are dream eaters and nightmare eaters. You play as Sora until the timer runs out and he falls asleep resulting in you taking over Riku and vice versa. So sounds interesting.

Why is there no KH3?

Because Square Enix are taking forever with Final Fantasy Versus XIII. (dun dun dun)

Loving the artwork for the latest game in Kingdom Hearts :)

And is it me but Sora should be called Sleep Boy, he's always sleeping in the games. Up to Riku again to save the day I guess :/

A House is taken away from us and alas thy search continues

2012-07-17T23:14:00.001+01:00

Students are treated like garbage, particularly nice ones :(

Okay, remember when I said I had a house. Well guess by the cruel irony of fate the landlord sent us an email to tell us that they were backing out of the contract for "personal circumstances" resulting in Kaerith and I not having a house....AGAIN. Seriously wtf. I apologize in advance for the amount of whining I'm going to do but when making a blog its supposed to be a way to channel frustration and vent anger in a therapeutic manner without harming anyone in the process physically. I counted on my fingers the other day how long I have been attempting to try finding a house and its ridiculous its been seven months since January when the first listings came out. It first started off with four of us, then one of us dropped out due to circumstances involving already finding another group and house. We then searched for a house as a trio but by April, end of Easter Holidays Madnut dropped out alas due to also personal reasons leaving us as a duo. You can see the orchestra has already begun to fall to pieces.

And finally we thought, HOPE AT LAST. Somebody who is kind and will let us stay with them. We talked to the kind landlord for over 2 hours about our house hunting problems from the beginning to end. We said yes, we wanted the place, the landlord liked us we signed the contract BAM done. End of April, just before the start of exams. We thought done sorted. May began and finished. June began and finished. And now its July, we're not in the land of Essexia anymore but what happens.

An email of an apology for the inconvenience it has caused. Quite an inconvenience, we don't have a house and we're over 80 miles away from Uni to search for another house and term begins in roughly what 3 months with all houses gone or now too expensive (its a good thing I didn't go on holiday abroad). Today I met up with Kaerith to type up some emails asking for help. But I am warning now. If it turns out that the Uni reply with this:

"Poor you. Alas our campus accommodations are not for second years even after every effort they have tried and down to their last, final, desperate option with circumstances beyond their control we will just offer this very helpful advice. Keep looking, I'm sure you'll find somewhere".

If they reply with some kind of crap like that. Watch me, I'll be heading to BBC Watchdog for Citizens Bureau. Whoever will listen to me or heck write a book talking about how students are treated like rubbish.

Adieu

TokyoDreamer9