Tom Whittaker's Blog

Day 3: Wednesday, May 22 - Ketchikan, AK

noreply@blogger.com (Tom Whittaker) — Thu, 23 May 2013 09:53:13 PDT

Today we arrived in the quaint little Alaskan town of Ketchikan. It is the 5th most populous town in Alaska at just over 8,000 people. It was extremely charming.

We started the day with a bucket list item - flying in a sea plane in Alaska. We flew over the Misty Fiords National Monument and it can only be described as breathtaking. It was a two hour flight plus a stop in the plane at the bottom of a waterfall. It was absolutely incredible and an incredible up-close view of the Alaskan landscape. I loved it! I cannot recommend this enough.

After we did some shopping, lunch and more shopping. It was spectacular weather - sunny and in the high 60s. For being on the rainiest towns in America we truly lucked out. It was a great day.

This evening I napped a bit and then joined the group for a hibachi-style Japanese dinner, which I enjoyed a lot.

Another great day of cruising.

Day Two: Tuesday, May 21 - Sea Day

noreply@blogger.com (Tom Whittaker) — Wed, 22 May 2013 03:31:19 PDT

Yesterday was our day at sea so it was fairy quiet and low key. I got up early and joined my friend Shannon for some walking on the deck. I figured it would help with so many fancy meals.

Dale and I played the board game Clue with Tim and Shannon. We also went to a few of the onboard trivia contests. The rocky motion did not settle well with Dale, so he rested a bit. I wandered.

The group - us, the Spencer's and the Stubbendick's all did some group photos with the ship photographers and attended the ship's version of Deal or No Deal. None of us won, but we still had a great time.

Good day. Today we hit Alaska.

Day One: Monday, May 20 - All Aboard

noreply@blogger.com (Tom Whittaker) — Thu, 23 May 2013 09:52:54 PDT

We checked into our cruise ship the Norwegian Sun around 1:00 PM. The checkin process actually surprised and slightly disappointed me. Previous Norwegian cruisers were given the ability to checkin immediately, while first time Norwegian cruisers were put in only what I would describe as a detaining area with crappy plastic chairs in a warehouse type environment. Once the line of the previous Norwegian cruisers was low enough, us first time Norwegian cruisers were finally allowed to checkin. I will not lie. It made us and those around us all comment how un-special this made us feel. We paid good money. We selected Norwegian. But we were treated like second class citizens. I now understand how Jack felt on the Titanic. I would accept a priority line for returning a Norwegian cruisers that was shorter with more checkin agents but the way they did it seemed awkward. This made Tom a bit frustrated.

Once onboard we headed to our rooms and were very happy to find our luggage had already arrived. On the last cruise Dale and I went on it was not so speedy. We unpacked and turned cabin 9253 into our new home away from home. On a funny side note, our beds were set up as twins. Sandy and Steve's were together to create a queen bed, as were Tim and Shannon's. It makes you wonder if it was just that way from the previous cruise or they see two males registered and assume they need separate beds. Not a big deal as we pushed them together but it made me wonder. This really did not bother Tom as the room was nice overall and he found the Dick Van Dyke era bed style charming.

Oddly there was no itinerary or map of the ship in our room. We checked at guest services and they ran out so a lot of rooms did not get one, including all of our groups. As a result we missed kick off events, a BBQ and had to figure everything out ourselves. This was annoying, especially when they keep telling you how important this document will be for your trip.

Next we went to orientation to learn about the life boats and emergency evacuation stuff. I was on my best behavior as I feel my group half expected me to get us kicked off the boat before we even left the dock.

Next up - the bar. We hit Havana's for a mojito and carried it upstairs to watch the boat leave Vancouver. This made Tom very, very happy as he loves mojitos and beautiful scenery.

On a side note...Vancouver is a beautiful city and I highly recommend everyone make a trip here. It would be a perfect 5-day combination with Seattle, WA. Fly into Vancouver and do two days. Take the train for Seattle for three more and fly home. Reserve now!

After this we were a bit hungry so we joined the herd and hit the buffet. I was happy as they had a delicious cream of mushroom soup and Indian food. This made Tom very happy.

After this we wandered a bit and went to two shows. The opening night staff show, which featured small samples of the shows we could expect that week and a family feud style game show. Both could only be described as painful. The first had the worse comedian ever who bombed and the second had a host who used the world awesome in a high pitchy voice 7,000 times. This made Tom realize he needed more and more mojitos.

Finally we hit the Seven Seas restaurant for an incredible surf and turf dinner. The lobster tail and steak were top notch and it was the perfect ending to the day.

And a day with the Spencer's and Stubbendick's was full of lots of laughs...so it was great!

Exhausted...we headed to bed.

Cohiba

noreply@blogger.com (Tom Whittaker) — Sun, 19 May 2013 22:21:59 PDT

Tonight we went to the Cactus Club Cafe in Vancouver, BC for dinner. They serve a blackberry version of a mojito called a cohiba. It has vodka, muddled blackberries (dog urine free), spearmint, lemon and soda. It was absolutely delicious and in my top five for mojitos. Rumor has it that I had five of them with dinner but you can't believe rumors. And besides counting drinks is just tacky.

Capilano Suspension Bridge

noreply@blogger.com (Tom Whittaker) — Sun, 19 May 2013 22:02:04 PDT

Today we went to the Capilano Suspension Bridge, which was pretty amazing. There was a walking suspension bridge, cliff walk and tree-top walkways, which were pretty darn cool. It was like the Forest Moon of Endor for you Star Wars geeks.

We also did some shopping on Robson Street in the afternoon, which is the Rodeo Drive of Canada. I bought a plaid hat, which makes me look quite dapper.

Modern and Elegant

noreply@blogger.com (Tom Whittaker) — Sun, 19 May 2013 06:37:18 PDT

Last night was beautiful in Vancouver. We headed out for dinner at 8:00 PM but most of the places we tried were a two hour wait, so we ended up at Mahony & Sons at Burrard Landing. We had mojitos there earlier so we knew it was nice. We got in shared some delicious nachos. I had a few more mojitos and had probably the best fish tacos of my life.

This city is as beautiful at night as it is during the day. It is a mix of modern and elegance. It was a mild night so we walked around a bit to burn off the nachos.

We even saw the Olympic Cauldren from when Vancouver hosted the Olympics. Very cool.

Oh, Canada

noreply@blogger.com (Tom Whittaker) — Sat, 18 May 2013 19:13:41 PDT

Today was fun. We took the train from Seattle, WA to Vancouver, BC. We sat in the lounge car with nobody except our group and the conductors, so it was pretty much a private car. We laughed, played music, played the board Sequence, watched the beautiful scenery, saw bald eagles and tried to hack each other cell phones. All in all, an early but great trip to Canada.

We grabbed the light rail downtown, checked into our hotel and then headed to the Gastown area to eat lunch, shop, drink, wander, drink and did I mention drink.

Good times...well except for the meth head homeless guys in Chinatown. But other than that a beautiful city.

Chihuly Glass Garden

noreply@blogger.com (Tom Whittaker) — Sat, 18 May 2013 06:07:43 PDT

The Chihuly Glass Garden in Seattle can only be described as breathtaking. I am so happy we had the chance to see it on such a short Seattle visit.

Seattle

noreply@blogger.com (Tom Whittaker) — Sat, 18 May 2013 05:56:51 PDT

The first day of vacation was a blast, but any day with Dale Gloude, Steve Stubbendick, Sandy Sorg Stubbendick, Shannon O'Meara Spencer and Tim Spencer is a blast. A vacation with best friends is exactly what I need. Oh and Seattle is beautiful. We wandered around Pike's Market, Dale went to the first Starbucks to say thanks, we rode the monorail (twice), we went to the Chihuly Glass Garden, we went up the Space Needle, we went to dinner at Cutters with some fun chick named Laverne and then went back to the hotel and crashed. It was a fun first day!

West Coast

noreply@blogger.com (Tom Whittaker) — Fri, 17 May 2013 13:12:31 PDT

We landed in Seattle.

I feel like we have been on a plane or in an airport all day.

12 hours since leaving the house at 4 AM this morning.

When did the west coast become so far away?

Vacation has officially started!!!

Seattle tonight.

Vancouver tomorrow.

And then onto Alaska.

I love my bush

noreply@blogger.com (Tom Whittaker) — Sun, 12 May 2013 13:22:46 PDT

I bet you never expected to here that from a gay guy, huh? But seriously Dale and I do have two of the nicest bushes on the block. They are gorgeous, well trimmed and the very inviting.

I love you. I miss you. I thank you.

noreply@blogger.com (Tom Whittaker) — Sun, 12 May 2013 05:18:57 PDT

Happy Mother's Day to my Mom. I miss you so much, especially on days like today. As so lay here in bed on Mother's Day just waking up and reflecting on the thirty years we shared a few things come to mind.

I always knew you loved me. Never in those thirty years did I ever once doubt you loved me. I knew that love was unconditional. I knew that love was forever. I knew that love was true. Even when you were driving me crazy, frustrating me or saying what I needed to hear versus what I wanted to hear...I knew it was because you loved me. Thank you.

Having that love always made me feel confident and safe as I moved into the world. Knowing I always had your love and a place to call home was extremely comforting. It allowed to to go out, spread my wings and try but know if I needed it that I had a nest to come back that would welcome me with open arms. Thank you.

You kept me honest...mostly to myself. You taught me to be true to myself, not to hide my feelings and not to hide the real me. You taught me to never be ashamed or apologetic for who I am, for having an opinion or for caring. You taught me that it was more important to be me than to hide who I was to be accepted. You taught me popularity would fade, but self respect would last forever. Thank you.

You were my champion. You were my protector. You were my hero. You were selfless. You were kind. You were genuine. You were truthful. You were giving. You were loving. You were funny. You were strict. You were honest. You were opinionated. You were realistic. You were optimistic. You were generous. You were a great Mom. Thank you.

Thank you for being my Mom and for treating it as the most important job in the world. Thank you for shaping the man I am today and the man I will be every tomorrow.

I love you. I miss you. I thank you.

To my own Mom...thank you

noreply@blogger.com (Tom Whittaker) — Sun, 12 May 2013 04:37:35 PDT

Mother's Day is a little bittersweet for me each year. It is tough to see so many posts on Facebook and Twitter about people sharing Mother's Day with their Mom's and not feel a little sad.

I lost my Mom so early. She was only 53 years old. I miss her so much.

I wish she had been alive to meet Dale. To know I found someone who I love and who loves me. I wish she had the opportunity to meet the man I share my life and that I will marry this summer.

But I know she would not want me to be sad. She would never want that.

So instead each year I try to honor and recognize a few Mom's who remind me of my own Mom...a few Moms who in my opinion shine. Being a Mom is never easy. It is the toughest job alive and any woman who does it well, deserves to be honor...even worshipped as raising good humans is an art.

Julie Beals-Marroquin who simply put rocks! I love how proud she is of her two girls. I love that she is teaching them to not only live life, but love life. Beals is an inspiration.

Lizz Schwartz Dinnigan who makes everyone smile. I feel her love for her sons in all her posts of Facebook. Best of all she has a wicked sense of humor and finds laughter in the stress and chaos that can often accompy being a real Mom.

Jennifer Wheland Wettergren who in her daily actions shows her two girls how to be strong, still laugh and follow your dreams. She is fiercely protective of her daughters and that maternal lion protecting her cub style reminds me of my own Mom.

Sandy Stubbendick who always beams with pride when she talks about her daughters. She is so incredibly proud of Stacie and Shannon (and should be). But most of all, she would do anything - anything for those two girls.

Shannon Spencer who is there for every volleyball game, school pay or football practice for her three kids. She will honestly exhaust herself to be there for them and that level of selflessness and dedication is unbelievably admirable.

Rachel Whittaker Hanley, my sister and someone who I know my Mom would be incredibly proud as she embodies everything our Mom held as most important - her family, in particular her kids. My sister would walk through fire for her kids and so would my Mom. Rachel is one of the most selfless Moms I have ever met. For my sister it is always about putting the kids first.

So to all of you a Moms - thank you for being an inspiration to your own kids and the world. But also thank you for reminding me of my own Mom and keeping her spirit and love close to my heart. Happy Mother's Day.

And to my own Mom...thank you. Thank you for showing me true love from the moment I was born right through until you gave your final breathe. Thank you for always caring for me, teaching me right and pushing me forward. Thank you for keeping my ego in check and my feet on the ground. Thank you for never letting me be ashamed of who I am and being afraid of sharing my heart and soul with those I love. Most of all, thank you for loving me unconditionally - faults and all. I could have not had asked for a better Mom.

I miss, love and will honor you until my last breathe.

All my love,

Springtime

noreply@blogger.com (Tom Whittaker) — Sat, 11 May 2013 16:10:26 PDT

Look how beautiful the trees are here today. Everything is in full bloom. I love Springtime in Massachusetts.

Spiteful

noreply@blogger.com (Tom Whittaker) — Sat, 11 May 2013 03:15:53 PDT

I can recognize spite when I see it and this morning I saw it. In fact it was practically thrown in my face.

Yesterday I gave our dog Zoe her summer haircut. Just like with our other dog Lucy earlier this week I figured why pay someone, when I can do it myself?

Personally I think her haircut looks nice - especially considering it was only my third time using clippers.

Anyhow, Zoe show no appreciation last night. In fact she pouted and shunned me. Now I can accept a bit of an attitude because who likes to be shaved down like a sheep but this morning Zoe crossed a line and was intentionally spiteful. In fact, she was mean.

First, Zoe woke me up at 5:30 AM to go out and have her breakfast. Now this is truthfully nothing new as she has done this before but usually on a Saturday if I tell her to go back to bed - she does. And usually for another hour. Not this morning. This morning she kept at me to take her outsde and got Lucy all rieled up too. I suspected this was intentional and her passive-aggressive way to get back at me for yesterday.

Passive-aggressive quickly shifted to aggressive and when Zoe walked into the backyard. Rather than walk to the grass to do her business, she crapped right on the back patio...which she never does. And she turned and made eye contact with me to make sure I knew, she knew what she was doing. This was no accident. There was no shame. This was intentional and pre-meditated. I bet she stayed awake for hours thinking, plotting, conspiring on ways to hurt me.

Well...the joke is in you Zoe because it is Dale's turn to clean up the yard. Or at least that is what I plan to convince him. So your plan is not working to hurt me.

P.S. - I am scared. Zoe may try to kill me. I see a gentle "nudge" as I am walking down the stairs coming my way. Or I may "trip" over her dog toy and fall out a second story window. Send help! My dog may be plotting to kill me.

What's in a name?

noreply@blogger.com (Tom Whittaker) — Tue, 07 May 2013 20:29:55 PDT

Dale and I have chatted a bit about whether we change our names when we get married in July.

I personally like the name Callum, but Dale said we should probably just consider last name changes. I see a few options:

1. Do nothing

Remain Dale Thomas Gloude and Thomas William Whittaker, Jr.

This would be the easiest but it would be nice for our union to be somehow represented in our names.

2. Hyphenate

Change to Dale Thomas Gloude-Whittaker and Thomas William Gloude-Whittaker. Or Dale Thomas Whittaker-Gloude and Thomas William Whittaker-Gloude.

This seems a bit long and whose name comes first? I sense a debate.

3. Second Middle Names

Change to Dale Thomas Whittaker Gloude and Thomas William Gloude Whittaker.

This one is interesting to me as we could still go by Dale Gloude and Tom Whittaker but on official documents we would be sharing an element of our union with each other's last name as our second middle name.

4. Go Crazy

Change to Dale Thomas Glittaker and Thomas William Glittaker. Or Dale Thomas Whoude and Thomas William Whoude.

No...not going to happen (I already checked with Dale on this).

5. Madonna and Cher

Change to just Tom and Dale.

I personally like this option as when my name finally lands on a marquee this will be so much easier for someone putting up the letters (that reminds me...I still need to buy a marquee).

The question is what option is most us? Where will we feel most comfortable? I don't really know. We both are the end in generations on Whittaker's and Gloude's so likely the names are ending with us anyhow as we do not plan to have children (Dale is on the pill), so traditions are not a factor for us. However these have been our names for a long time and we are comfortable with them. Is it really worth changing at our ages?

I think we just need to talk a bit more of what feels right to each of us...bit we also welcome feedback. How would you rename Tom and Dale?

Best friends

noreply@blogger.com (Tom Whittaker) — Wed, 08 May 2013 03:22:42 PDT

I love this photo of our friend Sandy and Dale from this past weekend. I played around fading the colors a bit to create this version, which I love even more. A great shot of two best friends.

Beauty Salon

noreply@blogger.com (Tom Whittaker) — Tue, 07 May 2013 17:52:40 PDT

Tonight I decided to give Lucy a haircut. Usually we send her to the beauty salon to get her hair done but I figured I could do it myself. The weird part is Lucy has a brown/black outer-coat and a blonde under-coat. Overall it came out pretty good. I need to finish her paws and head tomorrow night. Here are the before and after pictures.

So happy

noreply@blogger.com (Tom Whittaker) — Sat, 04 May 2013 17:33:56 PDT

It has been so much fun having Sandy here in Boston. It has made the wedding planning so much more fun and makes Dale and I so happy.

Boston Harbor

noreply@blogger.com (Tom Whittaker) — Sat, 04 May 2013 12:47:53 PDT

We went to Boston Harbor today to do a walk-thru of the boat for the wedding. I snapped some photos.

My town has arrived!

noreply@blogger.com (Tom Whittaker) — Sat, 04 May 2013 05:31:59 PDT

My new town of Burlington, MA has finally arrived. It is now officially the place to live. We now have not one, but two Starbucks. It opened yesterday. Best of all, they are only 0.9 miles apart.

I know many will frown on this but I feel the heavy density of Starbucks is a great thing. It shows how great your town is in that it can support lots and lots of pricey coffee drinks even with Dunkin Donuts and their monopoly on New England.

Plus, I love me a chai tea latte and I like the ones from Starbucks the best...so the more options the better. And this new one in 0.25 miles from my office. So I say welcome to the new Starbucks at Wayside Commons in Burlington, MA.

Oh, and so think the next Starbucks should open on the north side of town near my house. Thanks in advance.

Is groomzilla a thing?

noreply@blogger.com (Tom Whittaker) — Sat, 04 May 2013 03:50:54 PDT

Last night I broke Dale.

Well, I do not take full responsibility. I guess I should say that last night, partly due to me, Dale broke.

Yes, it is true. The wedding planning finally exhausted Dale.

I win.

No wait. That is not the right thing to say.

I'm the better groom-to-be!

Oh wait, that's not it either.

I'm the bridezilla. Yep, that's it.

Anyhow. Our dear fiend Sandy is in town to help us finalize the wedding plans because every bride-to-be (Dale) needs his best gal (Sandy) around to help with wedding planning.

See.

This proves Dale is the bride.

Anywho...first we went and bought our rings. That went well. It took longer than I expected because a certain bride-to-be who shall remain nameless and rhymes with let's say Sale forgot a $700 gift card we had at home, so a certain groom-to-be who rhymes with let's say Tom had to drive back home to get it. But Tom did not mind as he is a caring, thoughtful and loving fiancé, who also stopped at Land's End and bought his fiancé a swanky new pair of dress shoes.

I bet you are wondering when Dale broke and why this story is taking so long. And my answer to you is - patience is a virtue, so you need to practice it. Be patient!

Next up was buying our suits for the wedding. This is where I broke Dale.

Dale entered said suit store with something in mind for us in terms of colors.

Tom entered said suit store with a suit with a vest in mind for himself.

Sandy entered said suit store not realizing it would be three hours before she would ever see daylight again.

Let me explain:

Ever since I was a wee little girl I had always dreamed of wearing a vest at my wedding.

I joke but seriously I have always liked vests. I know that sounds über gay, but hello I am gay. I love vests. I want to wear a three piece suit at my wedding that includes a vest. I look good in vests.

Most of my life I never thought I would ever have a wedding. As a gay man you sort of resign yourself to the fact that you will not get the right, privilege or honor to marry the person you love. So when you do, it is sort of special. And you sort of want it to be everything you never thought you could have. For some odd reason for me that rolls up into a vest for me.

Plus vests are slimming. And let's be honest...anything that makes me look thinner is a huge plus.

So the problem was they do not carry three price suits in the color combinations that Dale has envisioned for the suits for our wedding.

So you have Tom dreaming of a vest. And you have Dale dreaming of a certain color combination for us. And you have Sandy thinking why the hell did I fly here for this?

Neither of us really wants to compromise on our dreams and neither of us wants to hurt the other one's dreams.

But I really want a vest.

And I ask for so little.

Okay, fine. I ask for a lot, but I really want a suit with a vest.

So for three long, grueling hours we went back and forth on suits, styles, colors, shirts, ties and shoes trying to find a compromise and a solution.

The nice salesman commented at one point that he had never pulled so many shirt and tie combinations for a single client - ever.

Ever.

Exhaustion was setting in and dinner had come and gone. And when Dale misses a meal he gets cranky. It is like something happens inside him with blood sugar levels, but Dale stops functioning. He cannot think anymore. He just needs food.

This is where I think I broke him.

I wanted to be done and finalize our selections. Dale wanted food. Sandy wanted the airport. And the nice salesman wanted us to shop elsewhere.

And Dale broke.

He got a wee bit cranky.

Oops.

The good news is in the end we did pick our suits and got that all taken care of. They are absolutely beautiful.

The bad news is I now have a reputation as a bit of a bridezilla, which I refuse to accept - groomzilla maybe but not bridezilla.

In the end it all came together. And Dale had pizza for dinner and then immediately fell asleep.

Today, we are doing our final venue coordination and planning the order of the wedding...so wish us luck (we may need it) and wish Sandy luck too!

And to Dale...I love you and thank you for putting up with me even when I am irrational, silly and a pain in the ass.

Happy birthday, Lucy!

noreply@blogger.com (Tom Whittaker) — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 05:22:28 PDT

Today is Lucy's birthday. The little girl is two and still as puppy as ever. Happy birthday Lucy...you have been a wonderful addition to our family.

55 days until my birthday

noreply@blogger.com (Tom Whittaker) — Sun, 28 Apr 2013 06:05:59 PDT

With all my thoughts focused on Dale and my wedding being just 70 days away and what we still need to get planned (ugh), it just dawned on me this morning that I have a birthday coming up in 55 days.

Yes...I turn 41 years old on Saturday, June 22, 2013. And we all know I love, love, love my birthday.

However, as much as I know Dale loved "40 Days and Nights of Tom" last year and "6 Weeks of Tom" in 2011, I think this year I am going to scale back a bit for my birthday (pause for gasp).

Now that does not mean I will be skipping my birthday this year. It just means I will not be celebrating as long and do not expect the same fanfare as previous years (I know sad, right?).

So here goes...

...this year I am officially declaring it will as "Tom's 41st Birthday Weekend" and all birthday celebrations will be contained to Friday June 21st to Sunday, June 23rd.

This shorter birthday time frame will be much easier on Dale (and me) as I do not think we can take on our wedding, our 10 year anniversary, out-of-town guests and a huge birthday celebration for me all within two weeks.

Plus, Dale may appreciate how selfless I am being by reducing the size and scope of my birthday because "41 Fun-Filled Birthday Moments for Tom" sounded cool too and reward my selflessness by buying me a birthday puppy.

Yes, that is my real plan here. I am going for the "look at me being considerate and scaling back my birthday now you have to buy me a puppy" ploy. Don't tell Dale (he never reads long posts, so I am safe here).

Our evening

noreply@blogger.com (Tom Whittaker) — Sat, 27 Apr 2013 20:38:00 PDT

This evening the weather was so nice that Dale and I...

...ate dinner on the back patio for the first time since moving into the new house.

...walked up to Cambridge Street and had ice cream at Schoolhouse Ice Cream and Yogurt.

These things made me very happy because...

...it feels like Spring is really here.

...I was with Dale and I missed him to a while traveling.