Tomanbay

Up and out!

2008-04-01T07:48:00.002+02:00

Hello...
Helloooooooooooooooooooooo...
I didn't expect anybody to be here anyways, but if you are, this is where you should check:
TheCairoCalls

Thank you, and bye!

Funny!

2006-11-08T14:00:00.000+02:00

I really respect Americans today.

For 6 years we had people trying to be more royal than the king, trying to justify every action the US does, only to be left out by Americans who realized today that things have been going in the wrong way for a long time.

Wow!

America: respect!

And…so long, suckers!!

Stupid!

2006-11-02T03:42:00.000+02:00

During a Seinfeld show, Jerry goes to a priest to complain that a member of the priest's church converted from Christianity to Judaism just to tell jokes about Jews. The priest asks "and does this offend you as a Jew?" to which Jerry answers "no! It offends me as a comedian!"

That's pretty much how I feel toward our government. The government actions offend me as a Machiavellian, not only as a citizen.
Take for example the recent Student Unions' fiasco. The security forces (working on auto pilot apparently) had taken students off the ballots of student unions' elections. Just like that. Violence erupted everywhere, and now they can't contain it (not without the usual excursions of Amn Markazy soldiers). The government is blaming the Muslim Brotherhood for the violence, and the Brotherhood (sounds like something straight out of medieval, huh?) is, as usual, playing the victim. It is repetitive. And it is tiring.
So, here is an idea for our cute government officials: Take your hand off the student unions. And while at it, give them some real power to question professors, and university officials about the quality of the education they are receiving.

Of course you may dismiss these suggestions as liberal, or even, God forbid, progressive. But no…we Machiavellians don’t think like that. Let’s face it: those hacks won’t be able to fix something which the NDP great minds weren’t able to even dent forward (education), so no fear there. They might actually get on the back of some loud university professors who (sometimes) demand such things as education reform, and freedom of academic expression, blah, blah, blah…What’s more important is that they will be dismissed as jokes by other students who won’t bother to go vote for them, (or anybody for that matter) come next elections. So you see, there will be zero political participation in the long run, or as NDP papas would call “a step forward”

Q.E.D.

A Chance for A Good Contractor To Be A National Hero

2006-11-02T03:32:00.000+02:00

It's Jimmy day!
Here's something I'm losing sleep on: Why haven't Jimmy and Diga tie the knot just yet?!
I know those marriage preparations take like forever. But come on, I'm sure this guy could pull some strings.
OR...
She is still trying to know him better. That makes sense. She must be sure who is it she is supposed to spend the rest of her life with. Fair enough.
I'd like to be a fly on one of their dates
Diga: So, are you planning to run for presidency Jimmy?
Jim: I have no intention of doing that. I repeat, No, I don't intend to run at all, all I want to do is to focus at doing a good job in my current position

That should be a good way to kick start an honest relationship!

Constitutional Amendments Anybody? No?

2006-11-02T03:05:00.000+02:00

Oh, I really miss little Jimmy.
You know what? With all the talk about changing article 76-again!- one begins to wonder which wall to bang his head to when it is time for him to swear to "uphold the Republican system"!
So, here is a little business opportunity: Be ready with 10000 poster sized, confidently-smiling-I'm-the-big-honcho portraits of the leader of our new "crossing". They could be in demand to fill the government offices and adorn our public spaces any of those days now.
Any of those ..... days!

At Least He is Consistent

2006-10-31T10:09:00.000+02:00

You can't make this stuff up, seriously!
Mubarak is urging Putin to stay for a third term. Screw the constitution, what do you know!

"Is your constitutional two-term limit an imitation of the Americans?" he was quoted by the newspaper as saying. "You criticize the Americans and you imitate what they do. Are you opening the doors or closing them? You must decide."

Well, ehh..I don't know. What do you think!

Another pearl of wisdom:

"He knows well the situation in Russia and the world," Mubarak said about Putin. "He understands everything. Let him stay."

The man is officially a farce now!
But...look at the bright side. Now we aren't only a country forced to accept a perpetual ruler...we're spreading the message!
Lead on!

So?

2006-10-30T17:10:00.000+02:00

2 months and 6 days after my last post, nothing had changed!
2 computers crashed, my header banner is gone, some bloggers are talking aimlessly to themselves, others are already writing their memoirs. But, I don't want to be a whiny bastards. The place is full of them already.
When I don't find something good to read, I write. I guess.
So here goes!

Kifaya: Aeh Ely Be7sal?!

2006-08-24T12:52:00.000+03:00

Anybody noticed this?
The website of Kifaya now has a "new foundational" manifesto!! The manifesto on its site is dated August 21st 2006! And is emphasizing opposing the US and Israel as its primary goal! Without debating the validity of this goal, what does that has to do with your primary reason, Kifaya?! Did Mubarak resign from office, and I didn't know? Did we have democratic elections? Was the press freed?!
Sophomoric is written all over you, Kifaya. And in case you don't understand this, it means childish. And if you don't, then let me put it this way: Kifaya le3b 3yal!

Kifaya: Kifaya!!!

2006-08-24T11:04:00.000+03:00

Let me first say that I couldn't agree more with Kifaya and its proponents on the founding principles of the movement: uniting all the different Egyptian forces in a bid to put an end to this regime and its monopoly of power. Fair enough.
But this movement had repeatedly shown that they, like the forces they oppose, are suffering from an extreme case of political bankruptcy. Rather than focusing its efforts on this one (gigantic) undertaking, they're being repeatedly sidetracked into other topics (boycotting ART for encoding world cup games for example!) which shows both a severe miscoordination and leadership absence on one hand, and a sophomoric craving to tickle people's emotions on the other.
Of course, the ready answer to those questions is always: it's all connected. Well...no, it's not, and even if it was, why divert people attention, cause more rifts between supporters, and cast a doubt on your political seriousness?. That's of course unless Kifaya thinks that all Egyptians have one opinion on everything. At which case, they will be no better than the current government...wala aeh?
The latest Kifaya fiasco is this. They're petitioning for the cancellation of the Camp David Peace Treaty. These people are just dying for public support, aren't they?
But even if we tried to look at their proposal in a rational way, I find no grounds whatsoever to support it. I know that it is a common past time for Egyptian "intellectuals" to speak how this treaty is unjust to Egypt, how it is destroying the country, and how it is all in Israel's favor (read the comments on Kifaya statements to get an idea). Strangely enough that's the same as what these people think. But...oh...they're saying that it's all in Egypt's favor and that Israel is the bigger loser...what do you know, those devious Jews! (side note: they are also saying that 1973 was a big blow to Israel...I hate to admit it, but some Israelis are more fair than our Arab "brothers").
The real problem I see is that people don't read. We seem to have a natural aversion to this basic skill. Nobody who is attacking it, had read the treaty.
The terms of the treaty are pretty straightforward about the withdrawal of the Israeli troops from Sinai. Yeah, it places some limitations on the numbers of Egyptian troops in Sinai, AND Israeli troops on the other side of the border. Plus, contrary to common belief (among supporters and opponents), the Egyptian armed forces is not denied access to the whole of Sinai, but rather the strip of land adjacent to the borders, and even this changed recently, by allowing border guards to control the borders after Israeli "withdrawal" from Gaza. And even if some of these limitations seem too much for some people, let me just tell you: there is nothing like a free launch. We screwed up in 1967, and that's the price we had to pay. Thank God we had brave people who were able to turn things around in 1973, and force Israel to sign this withdrawal treaty, because that's what is this really is. All the niceties in this treaty (political, economic, and cultural relations) are including in such a non-binding language, that it could be practically saying "it would be nice to have...". Well, it would be nice, but we're free to do whatever we want.
Of course some people respond by saying such things as "this treaty allows Israel to shoot our border guards every couple of days". What does the treaty has to do with this?!? The fact that we're turning into a mosquito country is the real reason. Let me here emphasize that the fact that I think the treaty is OK, doesn't mean that I think that we're handling ourselves well with Israel. In fact there is nothing in the treaty that says we shouldn't respond to such a violations like shooting at our border troops (and FYI: we do respond!). There is nothing which says that we shouldn't have any sort of sanctions against Israel if they're acting in a way which is harming our national interests, or is barbaric against another Arab country. The treaty has a clause against trade sanctions? so what? The GATT has that, and the US do it all the time.
What we lack is an empowered system that can stand up for the interests of its people, and its allies. Treaty, or no treaty.
And Kifaya: grow up!

Treaty text: Egyptian Ministry of Foreign Affairs
Treaty text: Israeli Ministry of Foreign Affairs

I &hearts The Arabist

2006-08-23T12:04:00.000+03:00

**Warning: Snap judgmet to follow**
I LOVE tha Arabist. Really. I think it is the most thought-out "Middle Eastern" blog around.
Check this great video they uploaded from the Daily Show (another favorite), this prophecy for the end of the world, and this hot new service they discoverd.
These people are good.

Seriously!

The Black Cabs Conspiracy

2006-08-23T10:18:00.000+03:00

Riding on the wave of my newly-found soft spot for conspiracy theories, I think I had uncovered a very intriguing mystery.
First, some background. I'm one of the unfortunate souls that have to drive o work and back for 3 hours everyday. I drive across Cairo (6th of October) and sometimes around (Ring road). Being a true Cairene, being stuck in traffic is a second nature, hell, it is even a skill; show me an abandoned city, and we will gladly have traffic there, and get stuck in it. It's what we do. My point is: it comes as no surprise for me that traffic is really bad at certain bottlenecks, and better (slightly better) at others.
What is suspicious though, is that once I passed one of those "bottlenecks", and tried to find the reason for the very slow traffic there, I couldn't find any. Only after I really paid attention that I found that the reason for these traffic jams is invariably an old black cab. The black cab's engine is always fuming, its drivers is always dark with whitening hair, his face is always dusty, he is always carrying a water container, and the water container is always red!
Does that sound like a coincidence?!
I think not.
Here is what I think:
I think that this is a part of a plot to decrease the productivity of Egyptians. Being the upbeat, work bees that we are, our angry, self loathing "enemies" had to resort to this lame tactic (hey, we uncovered it) in order to hold us back from being at our work places on time, where we could have produced the greatest technologies man had ever made, the weapons of tomorrow, and the equipment that will take us to the most distant galaxies in space. Instead, we produce biscuits, and ice cream.
Those @#$#@# bastards. We're on to you!! We're on to you!!! Bring it on!!!!!

Also on The Egyptian

We Have Roots

2006-08-20T18:16:00.000+03:00

I linked to the story of the Eloquent Peasant in the last post. It seems that it is very telling of Egyptian nature. To an uncanny degree.

Here the peasant is trying to implore some Chief to help him get back his stolen donkeys:

Chief steward, my lord, you are greatest of the great, you are guide of all that which is not and which is. When you embark on the sea of truth, that you may go sailing upon it, then shall not the.........strip away your sail, then your ship shall not remain fast, then shall no misfortune happen to your mast then shall your spars not be broken, then shall you not be stranded---if you run fast aground, the waves shall not break upon you, then you shall not taste the impurities of the river, then you shall not behold the face of fear, the shy fish shall come to you, and you shall capture the fat birds. For you are the father of the orphan, the husband of the widow, the brother of the desolate, the garment of the motherless. Let me place your name in this land higher than all good laws: you guide without avarice, you great one free from meanness, who destroys deceit, who creates truthfulness. Throw the evil to the ground. I will speak hear me. Do justice, O you praised one, whom the praised ones praise. Remove my oppression: behold, I have a heavy weight to carry; behold, I am troubled of soul; examine me, I am in sorrow.

Classic ass-kissing, huh?
Impressed by his eloquence, officials keep passing the man around (typical). On his eighth encounter with an official, the man snaps out, and gives this very impressive speech, which, in a typical Egyptian fashion, is said in desperation, rather than defiance or courage:

Chief steward, my lord, man falls on account of............ Greed is absent from a good merchant. His good commerce is......... Your heart is greedy, it does not become you. You despoil: this is not praiseworthy for you.........Your daily rations are in your house; your body is well filled. The officers, who are set as a protection against injustice,---a curse to the shameless are these officers, who are set as a bulwark against lies. Fear of you has not deterred me from supplicating you; if you think so, you have not known my heart. The Silent one, who turns to report to you his difficulties, is not afraid to present them to you. Your real estate is in the country, your bread is on your estate, your food is in the storehouse. Your officials give to you and you take it. Are you, then, not a robber? They plow for you......... for you to the plots of arable land. Do the truth for the sake of the Lord of Truth.You reed of a scribe, you roll of a book, you palette, you god Thoth, you ought to keep yourself far removed from injustice. You virtuous one, you should be virtuous, you virtuous one, you should be really virtuous. Further, truth is true to eternity. She goes with those who perform her to the region of the dead. He will be laid in the coffin and committed to the earth; ---his name will not perish from the earth, but men will remember him on account of his property: so runs the right interpretation of the divine word.
"Does it then happen that the scales stand aslant? Or is it thinkable that the scales incline to one side? Behold, if I come not, if another comes, then you host opportunity to speak as one who answers, as one who addresses the silent, as one who responds to him who has not spoken to you. You have not been.........; You have not been sick. You have not fled, you have not departed. But you have not yet granted me any reply to this beautiful word which comes from the mouth of the sun-god himself: >Speak the truth; do the truth: for it is great, it is mighty, it is everlasting. It will obtain for you merit, and will lead you to veneration.' For does the scale stand aslant? It is their scale-pans that bear the objects, and in just scales there is no.............. wanting

At that point, I think the Chief either felt guilty, or something in the peasant words touched him in a deep way, so he acted to get back the peasant's goods.
To which the peasant replied:

I live because I eat of your bread and drink your beer forever.

Heheehehe, typical!

This post is also posted at TheEgyptian. An attempt at collobrative blogging. Would appreciate your input!

"Lucky is the One Who Make Me Cry..."

2006-08-20T15:11:00.000+03:00

The title of this post is the first half of a well known Egyptian proverb; the other half is no better "... but not the one who make me laugh"! Pretty depressing, huh!
Despite their apparent cynic nature, or maybe because of it, Egyptians do need trauma in their lives. Our raison d'etre, as our French friends would put it, is coping with sadness, and loss.
Just notice the women who decide to wear black for the rest of her life, because her husband die. Or notice how all songs that are played in public transportation, and poor neighborhoods, are about how unjust times are, and how everybody, especially those the singer thought were his friends, turned their backs and betrayed him, etc...
In today's Ahram (a paper which I am trying to boycott, Anis Mansour (a writer I'm not a big fan of) writes a column(English m/t), about this same exact topic. He is relating our characteristics to the ancient story of the "Eloquent Peasant".
It is a very nice read, and surprisingly, very insightful!

Heavy Breath

2006-08-20T15:04:00.000+03:00

I almost feel guilty for not noticing this "statement" by a good friend of mine.
I'm too consumed by soulless, corporate, drones to feel his words, but they, undoubtedly, had sparked something in me.

I Hate Predictability

2006-08-20T11:50:00.000+03:00

When I read the title of this post (Ya Farha Matamet) , I thought "Finally, the guy will come down slamming on Israel's violation of the cease fire yesterday. But, I was wrong. In a typical new-con cadet style, the post attacks Iran, the Europeans, and suggest some sort of relation between the two. Can it get any more Reaganesque?
I don't think so.
Ah, and no mention of Israel, or the US whatsoever. Typical!

Accidental Wisdom

2006-08-16T17:15:00.000+03:00

I am stuck watching the 3 parts of The Godfather (yeah stuck...don't ask). Since I have seen it about 100 times before, I started focusing on very tiny details of the movie, the same way you really savor the last bite of a Kitkat or a Hershys bar. Also, I hope that one day I'll be on "Who wants to be a millionaire", and the million dollars question would be "What was the color of Vito Carleone's socks when he shot Fanucci, midway through the second part"...Only then, I'll have a shot at the million dollars.
Anyways, during Micheal Carleone's visit to Cuba he had this very interesting conversation with Hyman Roth

MICHAEL
I saw an interesting thing today. A man was being arrested by the Military Police; probably an urban guerrilla. Rather than be taken alive, he exploded a grenade hidden in his jacket, taking the command vehicle with him.

It occurred to me: the police are paid to fight, and the Rebels are not

ROTH
So?
MICHAEL
They can win

Why did that sound so familiar? Hmm, I wonder! Probably just the heat!

Oh my God! He is relating a quote about the Cuban revolution. A commie is in the house [hysterical shrieking sounds]

I Really Hope He Isn't Serious

2006-08-14T11:56:00.000+03:00

The very talkative, albeit very entertaining, Faisal has undertaken an endeavor which we all pray, will see him go somewhere but Lazghouly. That's highly unlikely, but we can only hope!

"3ayez temsek el balad yalla?!?!" "Fakr nafsak meen ya ro7 omak?!?!" ta'777777

Reading it, on the other hand, is highly recommended!

How To End Lebanese Suffering

2006-08-14T10:17:00.000+03:00

First of all, excuse my insensitivity.
I feel very strongly against what's happening in Lebanon. I also feel very strongly against helplessness . That's why the situation in Lebanon was especially dilemmatic for me. I simply couldn't just shake my head in sorrow, or chant empty slogans.
That feeling didn't go away until I discussed it with a friend. Now before I go on, let me tell you that this friend is one of the wisest people I ever knew. He is also very depression prone, and had he any real talents, he would have been a great artist, but because he doesn't have any, he is just plain suicidal.
Anyways...
The day I met that friend, he was, unnaturally, upbeat. After the usual chit chat, I asked him what he thought about the situation in Lebanon. He answered "nothing". Trying to know the reason for that indifference of a very opinionated character, I inquired about what he meant, so he answered me "See, you once told me something which is very true [me touting my own horn-Editor], there is no beginnings and no ends, everything is either an improvement or a deterioration, but things are all connected"
Me:"So?"
Friend: "Nothing, what's happening in Lebanon is the same as what's happening here in Egypt, people are beaten up by the police, I know, but it's not even about that, it is that every one of us bya'7od 3ala 2affah [is getting beaten on the back of his neck--approx =kicked in the ass] in work, in the street, and even in personal relations, so it's not very strange that a whole country bya'7od 3ala 2affah"
"So," the friend continued "I decided to aid Lebanon"
Me: [interested] "How?"
Friend: "You know how I hate my job, hate where I work, hate my boss, and hate how everybody is kissing ass all the time?"
I nod
Friend: "And you know how reluctant I was to actually search for other jobs because I thought this one was convenient enough?"
I nod again
Friend: "Well," he pauses for effect "I quit my job!"
Then he leaned forward, looked me in the eyes, and said in a tone, hadn't he been such a chubby fellow, would be fit of William Wallace "I decided that mesh ha'7od 3ala 2afaya [I won't be beaten on the back of my neck] ever again!!"

The Post of A Conspiracy Theory Convert

2006-08-10T14:15:00.001+03:00

Damn it. I hate conspiracy theories, I hate conspiracy theorists, and I hate conspiracies in general.
But...
I'm smelling a rat with the Heathrow airport 'incident'.
Here is what I think: Blair is really feeling the heat of public opposition to his pro-US policy. So he gives a call to the big W in Washington, who gives him the dirt "Get your CIA people to play with the colors...if you know what I mean" and he winks, to which Blair replies "first, I think they're called Mi5 over here, and secondly stop winking, George Michael was that close to outing us!"; Bush, rolling his eyes "Anywho...just give the people some action, turn this alert thing to red, and people would be rallying around you like you're Kylie Minogue"; Blair, nervous, "I said stop hitting on me already"....
The conversation went on, until Laura stormed into the room...but that's not the point.
The point is, for the first time in my life, I'm willing to bet my pants on a conspiracy theory!

Trivial

2006-08-08T11:15:00.000+03:00

That's probably the most trivial post I've ever put on this blog, but...who cares!

Sometimes it helps when thing are put into perspective (From the ZoomClouds tags to your right!)

Egyptian Role -- Wait,...What Egyptian Role?!?!?!

2006-08-07T15:12:00.000+03:00

People are furious.
And are secretly excited!

That's the lowdown on people's emotions here in Egypt.
They're furious for obvious reasons (the systematic killing of an entire population, and destruction of a country's infrastructure should, if not inconvenient to you in any ways, be a bit disturbing), but they're also excited because Hassan Nasrallah, and Hezbollah are giving them what nobody did for years -- Leadership.
Most people don't know every little detail about the situation in Lebanon, and 99% were convinced, I guarantee you this, that Lebanon's struggle against Israel ended in 2000. But, that doesn't make them any less excited about the emerging hero. About David poking Goliath eye. For the first time in 30 years, Arabs, and more specifically Egyptians, are able to gather around TVs in cafes waiting for the latest resistance statement. The fact that this is pissing the filthy old men in power, makes the guilty pleasure all sweeter.
For that specific reason I am surprised with people who are demanding an Egyptian role in this crisis. Don't get me wrong; Egypt should, ideally, have a great sway on how such a war plays out in its backyard. If not for humanity, it is crucial for Egyptian national security that Egypt steps up to try and put an end to this barbaric war.
But..
That's how things should be. That's not how they really are.
Egypt had become, thanks to 25 years of short-sighted foreign policy, irrelevant. Yes, irrelevant!
We can talk, reject, accept, put our pants on fire and run around shouting "the British are coming", and still nobody will notice. It is the simple harsh truth.
The beauty of that, for rulers of course, is that they can take any position with the luxury of not caring about the consequences. They can use those situations and crises, abound in the middle east, to score cheap popularity points. That's why, it continues to amaze me that Hosny Mubarak didn't seize this opportunity to appear as an Arab hero, by criticizing the Israeli attack, cutting diplomatic connections, ejecting the Israeli ambassador, or any other means. What drives me crazy however, are people, supposedly opposing him, who are practically begging him to do one of these inconsequential actions and be a hero (even a false one will do at his popularity level), and yet he refuses!!!!!
Reminds me of the blind man who had a blind bird. Because he was blind he put her out of the cage, but because the bird itself was blind, it flew into the cage!
Think about that!

Twisted!

2006-08-07T10:11:00.000+03:00

As some of you may have noticed (I hope!), I haven't been writing for a while. The reason was an avalanche of personal as well as professional commitments. And since this avalanche hasn't subside yet (it got worse actually), I decided to resume writing anyhow (that's not the "Twisted" part in the title, although it would make a very good candidate)

Now let me tell you this: I haven't been writing about Lebanon, not because of disinterest, but rather because of a mixed case of confusion, and helplessness. A combination which I find both foreign, and repulsive.
Anywho...
What spurred me to write was a discussion with a friend who argued that, you know what, Israel is better than Hezbollah because while Hezbollah tries to kill civilians by firing rockets at their cities but misses because of its poor equipment, Israelies, on the other hand, have the capability to kill millions (by "carpet bombing"--he seemed to be so fond of the phrase!) but they don't, and kill only thousands, so they're, you know, cool!
!!
I wouldn't comment (on this or the situation in general) now. I want you to just behold the logic.

The Goddamn LOGIC!

Where were you the day Zidane Butt-Headed Materazzi?

2006-07-12T11:12:00.000+03:00

It was once said that every American who was alive the day Kennedy was shot remembers where he was when he received the news.
Well, for the 1 billion non-Americans who followed the worldcup final (well, I know somebody in Cleveland, and another in San Francisco who might have watched the game!), we now have a memory to rival J.F.K's assassination: we witnessed the day Zidane went Dodge-ing on Materazzi!!
It doesn't get more dramatic than this. Hell, after seeing the picture of Zidane walking past the world cup, I thought that this is turning into some sort of a Greek tragedy.
I hear that Zidane intends to announce the reason for his moment of insanity in a press conference today. I think Adidas should stop him from doing that. They could spin this whole thing into a comic, or a movie.
People love good mystery!

So, Where Is The Catch?!

2006-06-09T05:08:00.000+03:00

Well, it is kindda obvious that this man is out of his mind.
You know, the Israeli general guy who wants (English m/t) Egypt to donate 600 km sq of land to Palestinians to help them have their own state (and have Israel take, guess what, 600 km sq from Gaza to secure its borders!!) In effect he is trying to actually move the Gaza strip 600 km away (Now if we can get Gaddafi to agree to give us 600 km of Libya, we can complete this left-shift move and have Israel get into the record as the first country ever to occupy land remotely).
Anyhow, I won't insult the intelligence of anybody here by trying to actually discuss whether anybody will agree to this plan, but I have one question: where is the catch?
This guy is the outgoing national security advisor of Israel, so you know, not your average lunatic. I'm just wondering, what ace is he pulling out of his sleeve?!

Inventory Check

2006-06-09T03:27:00.000+03:00

I am a bit frustrated with the whole situation in Egypt nowadays, well more than a bit, but you get the idea.
But despair was never a solution. So here we go again...
Ah...this and the fact that some blogs are getting so damn annoying, and tedious had motivated me to start writing here again. So, yeah, I'm here to get this party started.
Nah, I'm kidding. But seriously, is it just me or is continuing to list ways in which Muslims are ignorant scumbags, going ballistic about the fall of secularism in Somalia (yeah, because you know, Somalia was the beacon of secularism all along!), or bitching about the rise of communism in Bolivia...a bit, you know, as irritating as reading about the unprecedented performance of the Egyptian economy (we're the only country whose leading newspaper can have a headline like "An impressive recovery for the Egyptian Stock Exchange" next to a chart for the market index going down faster than a meteor!)
Plus, during my short time off I was able to watch such goodies as this ~~video~~ (dead link, sorry) by current parliamentarians, and ex-policemen. Tells you a lot about the fascist state we had become. And also reminds me of a couple of "prominent" bloggers whom I suspect are getting into some sort of a "serious" relation. Just watch the parallels between their recent blog entries. But, I'm not gonna say who. I'm not outing anybody here!
Anyways, the reason I'm writing to you is not to bash anybody, nah, that's not what I'm about. Instead I'm asking you to help me in a little thing I'm trying to do.
You see, when facing any situation or a problem, you have to have a clear idea of what are the elements that pertain to that situation, right? So, I'm doing a bit of an inventory check (which might turn out to be a sort of reality check as well) of who are really the players in the whole 'situation' we're having in Egypt...Here is the run down:

Mubarak: for all what matters the man could be clubbing in St Tropez right now. Really, where are you ya raees, we're missing the gridlocks!
Mubarak: (Jr, duh!) the lovestruck sweet heart IS clubbing in St Tropez right now. Of course enroute between Cairo, and Washington. This man has to be cut some slack...most people find it hard as it is to propose to one prospective father-on law; this guy has to appease Diga's dad in Cairo, and Big Daddy in Washington. The tragedy!
MB (Muslim Bros..yeah...I know...so ghetto!) Well, roll calls at their meeting should be a real challenge. If they continue being arrested at this rate, they'd be extinct before Haifaa takes off another piece of clothes (very narrow timeframe, believe me). Their positions: well, we're against the government, but won't field enough candidates to overthrow it; we're against succession, but we don't plan to run against Gamal; and we support the judges, but our car broke on our way to Ramses to support them!
The judges: where are the judges?! (no, seriously please tell me, I'm getting worried)
Kifaya: Still struggling. Do you really think that going to international courts against abusing officers is a good idea to repair the foreign-funded-traitors image some ordinary people have? (I'm just thinking out loud, seriously!)
Nazif: everytime you try to brush off the "nerd" image, you come off as the "angry little man/mouthpiece". "Nerd" is better if you ask me. Embrace who you really are Nizi!

Here you are..who am I missing? Help me out please!

(Anything north of 2 comments is considered a riot in this blog apparently!)