1. When they say - "OK- Big stick!" - they mean it!!!!!!

2. I'm convinced the tape they use to hold IV's in your arms / neck are 200 mph NASCAR tape!

3. For some reason - the people who draw your blood every morning are "wildly enthusiastic!"

4. The eggs I had for breakfast tasted good! No joke! They would have been better if not dipped with an ice cream scoop!  Just hard to eat a "scoop of eggs!"

5. In ICU, any time they say "take a breath and hold it," means something is about to be pulled out of your body!

6. After 1 1/2 weeks home from the hospital, I still freak out when I think about the lady pulling my "pacing wires" out of my heart!  Literally - they went into a tiny hole in roughly over my upper stomach and were attached to my heart!  She said, "now you may feel a little tug at your heart!"   I did!

7. Every other conversation with someone at the hospital includes the history of your bowels!

8. I got addicted to orange sherbert ice cream at the hospital!

9. In ICU, a man nearby was hollering a lot and in really pitiful shape.  I got upset and was worried he would take my spot in surgery!  Of course, I had already had surgery!!!!!  Drugs do weird things!

10. No humor in this one - just gratitude - Providence Hospital has the best nurses I have ever experienced on the 6th floor! Every last one of them was so good, kind, and helpful to me.  They always encouraged me and blessed me!

So, I got to thinking.  I may not be able to come - but that doesn't mean I can't conduct my own "Wednesday Special" right here!  So - here goes!

PRAYER NEED! There are two very important prayer needs I would mention.  Bob Chatel's wife, Anne, passed away this week. He is the Minister of Music at Barton.   The other is Jimmy Pierce - who has a tough case of pneumonia.

BIBLE STUDY: 2 Peter 1:3  His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.     NIV

There it is! It is marked in one of my older study bibles as a WOW verse.  To me, 1 & 2 Peter are kind of like the book of Philippians - nearly every verse is one of those WOW verses. But this one is remarkable. The verses surrounding it make it even more remarkable - but just focus on this one.

What do you need? In my current condition of recovery, this is a question that I am asked often. "Preacher, you need anything? What can I do? You name it - I will do it! If you need anything call!"  It has been very comforting to know that so many people are ready, able, and eager to help me right now!  It is the joy of belonging to the body of Christ at ABC!   

But look at this first phrase of the verse!  His divine power has given us everything we need!  Word for word - it is one of the most powerful phrases of scripture. What would you do with absolute power? We talk about this more often than we think! We say things like, "If I had the power, I would take care of this moral mess in the country." "If I had the power, we would not have to worry about  - (fill in the the blank!)"  So, I'm not sure just what we would do with absolute power - but I know what God has done.  Our powerful God has used His divine power to give us everything we need!  Amazing!  He has not focused His power upon Himself - but upon us - to benefit us!

Specifics!  ...for life and godliness...   For life! His divine power equips us to live life! Literally, He has provided everything we need to live this life with all it's blessings, challenges, disappointments, surprises, temptations, and ups and downs!  Jesus came that we might have abundant life! It is not just a statement of intent. In His divine power, He has given us everything we need to live life.  For me, He has, through divine power, given me everything I need to live through and recover from 5 bypasses to my heart. What are your great life challenges right now? No matter what they are, if you are truly a child of God, you have divine power at your disposal to endure, to overcome, to go through life!!!

For godliness!  His divine power enables us to face life - but also His power enables and equips us with everything we need for godliness.  That is why it is such a cop out when we start whining that we are only human and everyone knows we just can't be quite as holy as the scriptures demand! If we are "only human" then we are lost and separated from God!  Children of God are not "only human!" We are indwelled with the Spirit of God and have been infused with His divine power that gives us everything we need for godliness!  We have been clothed in His righteousness! We have been granted His forgiveness! We have been justified by Him through faith!  He is keeping us, perfecting us, and empowering us!   We are capable, through His divine power, of living Godly lives!

How?     through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.  When you received Christ as your Lord and Savior, you received the knowledge of Him needed, born out of His own glory and goodness, to be internally transformed in Christ with an external evidence of the internal transformation.  That is a mouthful so read that statement again slowly.  There is more here than you may think.  I am guilty, far too often, of asking God to do things for me that He has either already done or is already doing!  For example, I sometimes pray, "God lead me!"  Yet, the very nature of God is that He leads His sheep. I don't have to ask Him to lead me. More likely I need to pray, "Lord, help me resist the temptation to not follow your leadership!"    We have received a knowledge of Him that enables us to see the divine power that has given us everything we need for life and godliness!  

Take some time!  Reflect upon this verse.  It is what I call a "life" verse! Once it is in your head and heart, you can never be the same! This verse is a life transforming verse.

So, there is my Wednesday night service via the blog!  Be sure to attend the real deal tonight! You will need the fellowship, the Bible Study Bro. Mark has prepared, and the time in prayer!   God bless!

Just got me thinking! Oh that Christ would be such a real, authentic, and life transforming relationship in our lives that He would be the commanding story!  That is exactly what He wants.  He wants to so dominate our thoughts and actions that He and His mighty works become known everywhere.  He wants to move supernaturally upon His people - to the point that people everywhere are impacted.  Just as unusual cold has commanded our attention, I pray that unusual forgiveness among people, unusual compassion, unusual love, unusual attention to the Gospel will become our compelling story and practice.

My prayer: may Christ become our compelling story!

When I stand up, assume proper posture, and stretch slightly, my chest says OUCH!  When I begin to walk and stretch out my left leg - the stitches from vein harvesting say OUCH!  Muscles across my chest are getting more sore right now because I am getting more active right now.   So, it is a "good" kind of pain - and if it reaches the "boiling point" there is a low dose pain pill!  I have been blessed so far to take only about 2 per day!  I think you have the general picture - other pains would be TMI!

The same is true spiritually! We tend to grow spiritually through pain! Now, the longer the Lord and I have talked about this truth, the more that concerns me!  I know people who have not experienced any physical hurdles in their lives and have been fairly free from spiritual trouble and seem to have quite a spiritual life.  Yet, I find in myself that I have grown more spiritually in the last 2 1/2 weeks than in quite some time!  That bothers me for some reason - yet I am deeply grateful for the level of communication I have discovered with the Lord during this surgery and recovery. 

Though I know a few people who do seem to walk powerfully with the Lord apart from struggles - that does not appear to be the norm.  Most people I know have their faith perfected under the heat of struggle and trouble.  I have to admit, I have spent my fair share of life avoiding pain - avoiding painful conversations - avoiding painful decisions - avoiding painful lifestyle changes (food).  You get the picture.  Yet, in the way God alone can do - He has taken real pain in me and transformed me with it.  

Please do not get the idea that I am saying that I have now attained spiritual heights unknown by mortal man!!! I can tell you that my life will never be the same.  My prayer life, meditation life, the scriptures, the ability to listen to God carefully, have all been improved by this open heart surgery experience.  

My personal sign of victory is this - I have gone from saying, "I can't believe this is happening to me" to "this may very well be the best thing that has ever happened to me!"  

God be praised! I cannot improve through pain on my own.  But God does improve us through pain! And for that, I am genuinely thankful.

While listening to the IPOD, I hear "the song!"  At the moment I was listening to the Brooklyn Tab Choir sing "Thou, O Lord!"   When music is mixed well, you tend to hear "the song!"  But music is laid down in tracks as well, so if you are listening, you can hear the horns, or the percussion, or the strings, or back up vocalists. You just have to listen harder to isolate them on a well mixed song.

The same, at least to me, is true with prayer! I became very aware of the upstream of prayer - that was me crying out to the Lord to let sleep overwhelm my pain.  I was upstreaming scripture - some from the song I was listening to.  "But thou, oh Lord are a shield for me - My glory and the lifter of my head - Thou, oh Lord are shield for me - My glory and the lifter of my head!" Psalm3:3     There were many more I sent up to the Lord!

At the same time I became aware, not of a single track, but multiple tracks coming to me from God! I sensed one track being a reassurance - "My Grace is sufficient for you!"   Another - very simple - get out of bed!  Another - sleep will come - get out of bed.  Another - I kept remembering something about endurance - but could not remember the scripture until I looked it up just now - 2 Corinthians 1:6-7  6 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7 And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort. NIV

But all along, I kept getting this "get up out of bed and let's talk" sort of thing.   So, finally I got up, got Andrea to help me get relocated to the reclining sofa - I got comfortable within a minute and started to pray.  I got nothing but - SLEEP! Immediate sleep!  When I awakened at 6:00 am, writing this post was burning in my heart.

So, it may all sound like babble - but God is up to something - and I am learning how to follow His slightest prompting.  I became aware that listening to God can be something like listening to a rich symphony - there is an overwhelming message - with multiple streams of that message being offered by the "still small voice!"

One must listen carefully!!!!!!

When I was on the ventilator in the hospital, I remember my family leaving during an ICU visit.  Before I drifted off, I remember praying the 23rd Psalm.  The first time they got me out of bed in ICU, they told me to put my feet together and push up with my legs to stand.  I remember praying, out loud, "Lord, give strength to my feet."  Later when doing a somewhat "emergency" walk because I had an air bubble pressing on my lung - I remember praying the second lap for God to sustain me or take me!

When they were about to pull the chest tubes, I remember praying for grace and strength - and often I thought about how much more pain Christ experienced for me than I was experiencing in this surgery.

I have prayed about the ability to take a shower, to get up and down out of bed, to make my goals walking,
These were not prayers I prayed "just to cover everything."  I have been praying about simple, everyday things that have temporarily become huge challenging things. Yet, I can with great specificity name answered prayer after answered prayer.

One of the advantages of having had this surgery is I believe it has given me a better understanding of "dependence" upon the Lord and of how to pray more effectively.  This experience has been a veritable seminary for me!  Praise God for open heart surgery!   I hope all who read this are encouraged, strengthened, and blessed!

The Bible says, 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:33-34  NIV

Therefore, I am praying for God to help us live out 2010 in a manner that pleases Him.  But I am mostly praying for each day!  In ICU, I literally had to pray at times for the Lord to help me make it through the next hour or so!  When that time would pass, I would praise Him.

This morning, I am not asking Him to make me strong next week! I am not asking Him to make me be at certain point in 3 months.  I am simply asking Him this - and it is directed at today.   I am asking Him to help me have a good attitude today (pain can challenge that), to help me walk today with strength, to help me not be a burden on my family today, to help me not make any mistakes today, and to help me be a blessing to someone else.

If I have made a resolution, it was a spiritual one made in the hospital last week - "Lord, forgive me for having lived even one day in dread of what will or may happen tomorrow.  Help me live as your word admonishes - not worrying about tomorrow. Help me live TODAY- for You - faithfully! " 

I don't know how well I will do this - or how much a challenge it will be - but right now - I'm pretty motivated!

Praise God - He has granted me a few more years! I intend to only please Him!

Our goal for the year is to develop within the heart of the congregation a "Mountain Moving" faith.  We will begin in February by making sure we understand what the scripture is actually saying. This scripture has often been misquoted and misused. 

Got mountains before you this year? From where did they come? Circumstances? Self created? God ordained? Is there an expression of faith needed to move them? 

What a great year this will be!

1. Welcoming children to Sunday School!
2. Welcoming parents to Sunday School!
3. Walking around greeting people - just keeping in the know!!  We have great fellowship!
4. Seeing what there is to eat out in the fellowship hall - any day!!!!!!! (guess that's over for me)
5. The smell of everyone gathered in worship!  It is distinct!  There is aftershave, perfume, sweat, fresh pressed clothes smells along with the building itself.  Am I weird? It just smells good to be at church.
6. Hearing our choir sing! I miss that badly right now!
7. Singing! Did you know that I don't know if I can still sing? I haven't really been able to yet.
8. Playing the piano some!
9. Mr. J.E. coming in to get the food bank stuff.
10. The interesting and unpredictable stuff that happens at the office each day!
11. Office pranks!
12. Watching children who come to church for the first time ( at least in a while).
13. Watching people watch other people whose kids look like they are about to tumble out of the balcony.
14. The hand signals! No joke. These are mostly choir members who all think they can make suggestions to the sound guys. Thumbs up - Thumbs down - cut across the neck - eye rolls etc.   They take on a real "coaching" quality! Anyway, it is fun to watch.
15. People joining the fellowship.
16. Praying with people - in the hall - a side room - at their pew - about some need important to their heart at that moment.
17. When someone fixes hot water in the office - for hot chocolate!
18. When someone fixes coffee.
19. When the UPS / Fed EX guy comes.
20. When the Berney's man comes!  I have to talk to somebody!
21. When Danny C. gets excited - tickled - and even frustrated! He's fun!

I'm sure there's more!

I was hurting a bit too much and was just too wide awake to go back to sleep.  So, I have learned a good lesson about this over the last couple of weeks.  The primary thing is perspective.

Instead of being frustrated, I just see it as a "night watch!"  David referenced these a couple of times in the Psalms. Psalms 63:5-6  5 My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness; and my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips: 6 When I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the night watches.

When David would find a sleepless time at night, he just saw it as a time to feed his soul and to praise the Lord with joyful lips.  He could be upon his bed and meditate in the night watches.

So, having been up since 3:30 am I have:

1. Listened to some wonderful praise and worship music on my ipod while in the recliner in the dark.

2. Prayed!

3. Listened!  It is amazing how crisp and clear God's voice can be at 4:00 am. 

4. I may have dozed for about another 10 or 15 minutes.

5. And now, I am composing this post.  It used to frustrate me when I could not sleep on a morning like this. Now, I just figure that God has something important enough to teach me, tell me, remind me of, or that He just wants to fellowship. 

In the past few days, I have learned that having spent that time with God, I do not seem to suffer ill effects from the sleeplessness.  

Turn your sleeplessness into a night watch with God! Experience the difference it makes in your life.

1. Salvation - It fills me with wonder that a Holy God would love everyone and me so much to die for our sins. It fills me with wonder that He has granted me so great a salvation.  TOP WONDER!

2. A Wonderful Wife - My dear wife is devoted to the Lord and to me.  She has kept the vows of our marriage - in sickness and health - and she is so smart and creative.  The ministry God has granted me has my wife at it's foundation, enabling me to be a better man, a better husband, a better dad, and a better minister than I would have been.

3. Three Precious Children -  My three children never cease to amaze me. Their abilities in the Lord fill me with wonder. I have to look no further than my three children if I need something done, information gained, ministry ideas explored.  They are great kids.

4. A Ministry - It is too wonderful to fully understand the way that God grants and empowers ministry.  Sometimes it seems that you and God have so fully done an aspect of ministry together and then you find out that God has moved mountain after mountain and opened doorway after doorway to enable your ministry in His Kingdom.  That He has included me in the preaching of the Gospel is a great wonder to me.

5. Creation - I truly tried to narrow this down, but I could not.  All of creation points to the majesty of God!  During this recent heart surgery, hearing the doctors explain to me all of the side effects caused by the cutting of my chest and the deep, deep sleep of anesthesia reminded me of the wonder of God's creation. No one can honestly look at any facet of creation and not know of God's involvement.

6. The Depravity of Which I am Still Capable - Well, that may not sound like such a good wonder, but it literally fills me with awe.  After all God has done for me, I am still capable of willful and deliberate sin.  The person who does not guard their heart is doomed to seeing it perverted.  We need to be aware of our limits and the deceitfulness that can come from our own heart if we hope to live a holy life.

7. The Power of People who are Devoted to a Cause -  People who come together with a united heart and mind can accomplish almost anything.  I've watched people build a large office building in a day. I've watched people clean a neighborhood in a day.  I've watch people sand bag against flood waters.  If we can harness the people under the leadership of the Lord and the power of the Spirit for the causes of Christ, there is no limit to what the church of the Lord Jesus can accomplish in the world.

Those are my 7 wonders today.  What are yours?

Of course, if your were a fan who poured your money into tickets, that thinking probably was upsetting!

It got me to thinking about something.  Football truly is just a game - and the world didn't end because  they were willing to throw away a perfect season without giving the game a 100% effort.  And people far smarter than me can judge the merits of the decision. 

But, it did give me pause when I considered that perhaps the church might be doing the same thing! Do we approach, for example, our worship with the attitude that this gathering is "not worth my energy, my passion, my effort" for the Lord?  Do we approach relationships with the concept that someone else on the team can share the Gospel, show compassion,  manifest mercy? 

The Great Commandment tells us to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength." Mark 12:30      No room for half measures there. No room for pulling back on gifts there. No room for pulling back on passion there.  No room for being overly cautious there. No room for throwing the victory to the other side in anything or for any reason.

That football decision may make sense in some greater strategic sort of way - but think of all the fans cheated by the giveaway.   In spiritual matters and the issues of life, whole communities of the people need the church to be the church - to hold nothing back!  Each member of the body is a player on the team - and people need us to pour our full heart into obeying the Lord Christ.  

For example - there is so much to think about!  I have a heart with perfectly free flowing and open pathways. Everything that happens to it now will happen from two sources - heredity which I can do nothing about - and me - which I can do everything about.

So you find yourself wondering what to eat - does it have trans fat - will it stop me up - does it have too much salt - etc...  Now you might say that indicates too much concern, but one week from heart surgery I can tell you - nobody in their right mind EVER wants to go through that again.

And food is just one area of my thinking.   In ICU and afterwards, I became aware of how UNIMPORTANT some things are - and how I have missed some things of INTENSE importance.  Again - I have many things to process and sort through.

One thing I know for sure - God uses suffering to hone and shine His children - if we let Him. 

On Sunday, January 17, I hope to share some of these things more precisely, Lord willing.

But like most of our lives, we have far less control over things than we think.  So in reality, I probably had the best Christmas I have ever had!

1. God saved my life!  The doctors tell me my blockages were consistent with big, massive heart attacks that kill or seriously damage the heart. 

2. I got to experience Christmas every minute  - from the moment I walked into the hospital - until I came home today.  Christmas, after all, is the celebration of God's giving His Son to us! We celebrate it by giving to others - and believe me - in ICU for three days I was so humbled by the giving of nurses around the clock to me.  The same was true on the floor. 

3. I experienced Christmas WITH my family! No, not at home - and no -not at the extended family! But, oh how my wife, two daughters and son gave to me during this week. Presence - it means everything.

4. One time I heard someone say that many people know the price of everything and the value of nothing. This week I rediscovered in some cases and discovered in many others the real value of things.

    I cannot describe the value of a cup of ice cold water in ICU! - (but I rediscovered it)

    I cannot describe the value of someone who helps you take a bath when you can't! (but I discovered it)

    I cannot describe the value of having someone rub your head - scratch your back - hold your hand and reassure you.

There are so many things that are whirring in my heart ( a clean one) and head (a still slightly confused one)  but I now have more years to share them. 

I am so thankful to be in our home - sitting on our sofa - about to take a nap!  Praise God!

If all is going as planned right now - I am in surgery at Providence Hospital having around 4 bypasses done! I would really appreciate your continued prayers for me!

More importantly, I would ask you to pray for Andrea and my children, Drew, Lesley, and Kelsey! They are the ones bearing the greatest burden in all this!

Obviously there will not be much more I can say about things!  I have some interesting reads that will post each day until I can do it again in real time!

Since comments are moderated, your comments will not show up until later in the week or early next week!

Thanks again for your prayers today!

A lot of people have asked me about how long I will be out! Well, the obvious answer is "I don't know for sure!'

But here is what I do know.

1. After heart surgery, the desire of the doctors is for a patient NOT to take it easy.  They want you to get up - get dressed - for the first couple of days walk around in the house. Then they want you to increase walking.

2. Cardiac rehab begins relatively soon. I will have to work around that in my schedule.

3. Because of the nature of my work, I will be able to come back initially to the office to do admin work for quarter or half-days.

4. For at least a month - the rest of the staff will have to cover hospitals. After that I believe they will let me drive.  YOu don't want to get hit in the chest with an airbag and I can't afford to catch something from sick folk.

5. My personal goal is to preach this sermon on January 17 - but I would love to do it on the 10th.  My body and my doctor will decide.

6. I have a study at home. This down time will give me a chance to work on sermon planning for the months ahead. It will give me a chance to do some reading.  And, I will be glad to visit with some folks at my home.

7. I don't feel the least bit compelled to get back to work at the risk of a good recovery. But I love the ministry God has given me - so working has never been a dreaded thing for me.  The sooner I can get back into some kind of routine, even if it is a little lighter for a while, the better for me. Probably better for Andrea too!

8. I miss everyone! I can barely wait to be back at ABC!

That is sort of the deal with this wait until Tuesday morning! If you are ever faced with the necessity of having heart surgery - opt for sooner rather than later!!!  Same day if possible. 

Now - here are some random thoughts!

1. We have a quality enough staff that they can do just fine without me! I would still like to think that they might need me!

2. Believe it or not - I have not worried about anything at ABC today!  This heart surgery thing has pretty much blown everything else out of the water. 

3. After heart surgery - I don't plan to sweat anything that I cannot do something about! If I really can't change it, shape it or help it - I don't plan  to worry about it!

4. You think a lot about where you have been, what you have accomplished or failed to accomplish, and what will be left for you to do!  At least that is what I have been thinking about.

5. When you are having off and on again chest pains, you become too hyper aware of your body!

6. The bruise on my leg from the heart cath looks like I have been in a car wreck!

7. This may be a commonly occurring surgery - but it is not routine - no matter how many people say it is! They still stop your heart - work on it - and see if it starts back up! 

8. I am praying as much for my family as I am for me!  I hate that I have put a damper on Christmas for them.

9. I have a motorcycle for sale - $1,500 dollars - that includes the bike - accessories - two helmets - and $200 dollar jacket.

10. God is in control - I am not - so everything is in His hands.  I'm trying to leave it there.

10.

My wife wants her pillow! They look pretty much identical to me - especially covered in a pillow case. But come bedtime - there has been many a time that Andrea poked me and said - "hey, you've got my pillow!"  So we would swap and life would be good.

When we go on trips to see family etc, she takes her pillow! She would probably say it is because they might have a shortage of pillows where we are going - but I think she just really likes her pillow.

Well, since all this heart stuff started with me, I find it hard to sleep flat on the bed. When I got home from the hospital yesterday, I was just worn out, so I laid down to take a nap.  We have 483 pillows on the bed (might be an exaggeration) and none of them were the right thickness. I needed to find the right height to sleep elevated comfortably.  Guess what?  Her pillow and my pillow were just right! No problem for the nap!

Last night I went to bed before anyone else.  When Andrea came to bed, she spotted her pillow on mine - and without the least hesitation - she remarked that I needed her pillow to sleep comfortably. So, she searched through the pile and found one she could tolerate.

My wife loves me enough to give up her favorite pillow! It may sound silly to you - it was a very tender moment for me!

So, next week I will have about 4 bypasses on my heart at Providence Hospital! If all goes well, I will be home on Friday or Saturday!  I have a great heart surgeon and a great cardilologist.  I have a great God and a great wife and family!  All of that means everything to you - and is certainly the case for me.

It does not change the fact that while the surgery is very commonly performed - it is no minor thing! So, I am as calm as I can be - praying for peace that goes beyond my calmness - and to be perfectly honest - I am just a wee bit fearful!

I appreciate the prayers of anyone who reads this! Thanks in advance. I am definitely looking forward to getting better.

In Primal, Mark presents the Great Commandment in four parts: The Heart of Christianity,  The Soul of Christianity, The Mind of Christianity, and The Strength of Christianity.   Like a craftsman uncovering and stripping a renovation project back to its foundation, Mark takes the four major points of the Great Commandment and masterfully reminds us of how to simply love God!  He reminds us that the heart of Christianity is primal compassion, the soul of Christianity is primal wonder, the mind of Christianity is primal curiosity, and the strength of Christianity is primal energy.

Mark brings to Primal his unique ability to take his life experiences and make powerful applications for the reader.  From personal experiences to powerful illustrations drawn from unique bits of knowledge, Mark explodes the Great Commandment in the heart of the reader.  As you read Primal, the passion and conviction to love God genuinely, marked by a powerful impact on a perishing world, is evident. 

Primal is a great read for every person, believer and non-believer.  There are no slow moments in the book.  From beginning to end, Primal draws the reader into the wonderful reality of the foundation of our Christianity – loving God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength.  You will be blessed in reading and contemplating what it means to truly love God and hopefully, that blessing will result in a greater obedience to follow Him.