So glad you could (re)join us. 

We left off with the Marinace’s moving to London for 3 years for Peter’s career.

Some of you expressed your lack of enthusiasm for being “put on hold.”

Hey, we’re here every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

It keeps you coming back!

Daniel and “Uncle Tim”

“When Daniel was a toddler, we moved to London where Peter had a position in commercial banking.  In the fall, we had done a trip home to the U.S. and Daniel seemed to be losing weight.  I took him to the doctor in November, and he didn’t ask me anything about symptoms.  He thought Daniel possibly had the flu.

Right around Thanksgiving, we had dear friends visiting and their child got the flu.  Again, we thought Daniel caught the bug; but it was very troubling, because when he threw up, nothing was processed.  One evening he was particularly uneasy and lacking in peaceful rest at bedtime.  I took him into my bed because of this.  He started having seizures and didn’t recognize me.  At 4:00 a.m., we raced to the hospital, and I jumped out of the car and ran inside with this lifeless, limp little body in my arms. I remember saying to the nurse, ‘Please, please help me.  My child is dying.’  Within 25 minutes, the staff figured out that Daniel was diabetic; and that his number was so high he was nearly gone.  At the time of this occurrence he was 2 years old.  The diagnosis was Type 1 Diabetes.  He was, in fact, so bad off that we had to take another ambulance and go to a hospital ICU where he had his own nurse for 7 days.  They had to be extremely careful replacing the fluids and nutrients he had lost because of the potential for brain damage.  We were in shock.  I remember thinking, ‘We waited 17 years and just got him!  Please, please God, don’t take him now!’  I called home because it was Thanksgiving, and all of my family was at my sister’s home for the holiday.  My dad came through with that character I mentioned before.  He got on the phone, called all of our family together, and even though ocean’s spanned our physical contact, we were united in prayer.

The thing is, I had taught over 600 children.  They possessed a gamut of childhood maladies and illnesses: Autism spectrum, dwarfism, to name a couple, but I had never had a child with diabetes in my class.  I think that is why I wasn’t aware of the signs: bed wetting, extreme thirst, fruity breath smell.

Type 1 Diabetes has an assumption on the part of most people.  People tend to lump it with Type 2 Diabetes which is not necessarily insulin dependent.  You can cure Type 2, because the body in this case has the ability to restore the pancreas.  Type 1 has no options.  You are dependent upon insulin (in Daniel’s case a pump), to BE your pancreas. Another misnomer, is calling it juvenile diabetes.  You don’t outgrow it.  That’s why we always choose to call it insulin dependent or Type 1 Diabetes.

Having an illness this severe has, in many ways, made Daniel an old sort of soul. He has to deal with things that other children don’t.  I remember once when a friend of ours died, I was really, really crying.  He came and sat down next to me and said, ‘You know Momma, everyone has something in this life.  I just got mine early.’  We were watching Extreme Home Makeover when he was 6 or 7, and there was a child with an illness that wasn’t doing well at all.  Again, wise beyond his years he said,’ Oh, mama, when he gets to heaven, he will have a new body just like I will and be perfect!’

One thing he, along with Peter and I, had always hoped for was a sibling.  That dream came true a little over a year ago!

Once again, we were blessed to be parents!  Benjamin’s adoption was very, very different.

  It was open, his birth mom came to the house and interviewed us.  At the time, she still hadn’t decided whether or not to place with us.  Peter welcomed her in, asked if he could pray with her and us, and at that time expressed that he wanted what was best for this baby and family.  This young lady was from a very moral, upstanding family and they were all embarrassed.  Peter’s prayer and lack of wanting to just serve himself clinched the deal!  I was kind of like the “cool aunt”, but Kelly loved Peter! The parents would come and have game nights with us, she chose to decorate the nursery with me, and yes, I was fine with it all!  I was just so very grateful for the opportunity to parent once again!  These two birth parents were seniors in high school.

We have since done panel work with Kelly regarding open adoption.  Daniel was a part of this process as well.  There were 12 couples present and we spent 3 hours counseling them.  Don’t be frightened of open adoption!  I want to reward people for choosing life, for being brave and making a very tough decision.  I want to affirm them.  They realize that they’ve already made a poor decision!  I want to speak and model life from a loving God! Couples ask about discussing these consequences with other siblings already in the family.  Daniel asked to answer this question!  He was 9, and I thought that this would be interesting! He said, ‘Well I would say, only tell the other children what they can handle for their age!’  Daniel still asks us things.  One question is, ‘Why don’t my birth parents come around?’ We have simply said, ‘That’s not how it was set up.’ I think it is so important to not appear as if you’re hiding something.  It just isn’t in our DNA to have family secrets.  We’ve shared what we’ve needed to at the moment, and plan to always affirm that the boy’s mothers were lovely girls who got into trouble and wanted what was best for them.  In wanting the best, they decided to place them in a family.  We impress for our kids that here was a plan, and the plan was to be with us eventually!  Kelly’s family is very much in our lives.  Benjamin’s grandmother comes and visits. She is nearly my age, so we have become friends.  She is gracious and warm, and her children call me aunt.  The key is respecting one another and having healthy boundaries on all sides.  We do!

When Kelly made the decision to give us Ben, she asked Daniel if he was ready to be a sibling.  He replied so sincerely, ‘Oh Miss Kelly, I have wanted to be a sibling ever since I found out what the word meant!’

Kelly has gone on with her life and is doing so well at university.  We were talking and she said one of the most exciting things was the day Ben was born.  She said, ‘I was waiting for Suzanne to come so I could present her son to her.’

I wasn’t able to actually be there for the birth.  Kelly ended up having an emergency C-section.  The neatest, neatest thing was that we were all there later together as a family! 

We went home that evening, in order to respect their last night together.  That was hard, but so very necessary.  The next morning at 9:00, Kelly called and asked me to come to the hospital and have a sleepover with she and Ben!  Man, I was there!  I went back to that hospital armed with hip magazines and an itinerary of fun planned…but we actually just visited, loved each other, and discussed the plan for loving this baby! Kelly definitely sees Benjamin as ours but loves him like a nephew. 

That family is so very sweet and loving and such a wonderful group of people!

I do want people to see that I’m a huge advocate for education here.  It just looks so very different in my life. This is very interesting to me.  I think my teaching skills have drawn me to do pro bono things. For example, Adoption Panels and Type 1 Diabetes.  Daniel attends public school in a great district here in Illinois.  He had a bus driver who wrote him up for cheeky and drunken behavior on the bus.  Daniel is a normal child like every other, but he’s not cheeky! When his blood sugar was tested, it was 54!

I now feel so fortunate to have my educational background.  I have gone in and written a seminar that I give at the beginning of each school year for teachers, parents, administrators, health care professionals at the district level, and even the guys operating the bus barns!  I have handouts that teach them how to read highs and lows, and how to troubleshoot and recognize abnormal behavior.  I have taught spontaneous eating, which isn’t concerned with policies, but rather necessary health for diabetics. We had well meaning substitutes that were rewarding 45 pound kids with Jolly Ranchers!  If this involved a diabetic child….are you kidding me?!

Because I am an older parent, I think that my age and position have allowed me to be less reactionary, so I am able to help and set up these protocols.  When kids within our district are diagnosed, our number is on file so that if those people need help, support and a listening ear, we’re there for them!”

For the past couple of years, this has not been an easy endeavor.  With downsizing, Peter was in a position to take a job in a neighboring state and commute home on the weekends. While the more silent partner for this interview, he wishes to be known as a husband, a father, and a commercial banker. In that order.

It is my hope that in their time here, you have come to see them as individuals doing the extraordinary with ordinary means.

Just like so many other truly exceptional leaders.

“Home Education is any educational pursuit that is grounded in the family’s values, directed by the student, and supported by the parents.  Home Education can take any form.”~ Dr. Shanon Brooks

“Oh my word, Teri, I really can’t believe you’re doing this.”

Me: “You have a tremendous story to tell!”

“Well, I’m sort of embarrassed…and nervous.”

Me: “You’ll be fine. You talk as much as I do. Go!”

“I was born in Mexico to missionary parents and raised in California.  My dad had a church and my mom had to return to work; so my grandparents pretty much raised me.  I think that that plays into me being an old soul.  We were raised Mennonite Brethren, which is a very conservative German group, but not the group that “wears the buns.”  You can put that in there, okay?  I remember when Martha Stewart Living first came on the air and she was teaching people how to iron!  I laughed and laughed because I had been ironing since I was 5!  I’ve always written “paper thank you notes”, worked odd jobs to contribute to the family cash pot, and was the little girl sitting under the quilts at the gathering every Tuesday!

At the same time I’m very outgoing, and love to be on the stage, but in my talented family, I always considered myself to be very mediocre.

Peter and I married really young. We were 22 and 20 respectively.

I attended Seattle Pacific University which is where I met your brother. Tim was “me” in a man’s body. He was funny and so smart…wait, that’s going to sound really poor!

Your brother came from a family with similar values, he was a preacher’s kid, and we connected immediately!  He was “my people.” Peter loved Tim.  When we were together, or with extended family, it was just so natural and very, very fun.  They were so quick! The wit of it all was just hilarious and hysterically funny; yet they never crossed a line in their humor or were off color.  It was that hilarious “pee-your-pants” kind of laughing all the time!

Since Peter and I had married so young, we always had something going on.  We were both from huge families and it never occurred to us that we wouldn’t have a large one of our own.  Yet, we tried to conceive for 10 years and just couldn’t.  Everyone had a reason why things weren’t working out for us.  Peter’s career took him away on business a lot and the timing wasn’t right, I was too high strung, we needed a vacation.  The list really was quite comprehensive.  I remember going in for a final procedure and when it didn’t take, we decided to pursue adoption.  This decision took six months of mourning to both transition and adjust.  My physical body was also thrashed from all of the procedures that go with infertility and I needed a rest.

We decided to go through Bethany Christian Services domestic infant adoption program.  We were now in our 30s and I was still teaching through all of this.  Normally a home study takes roughly 2 years.  Ours went off without a hitch in 6 months!  I turned in my profile books on a Tuesday, and mentally began to settle in for the 6 months-2 years that it takes to be chosen.  Two days later, I got a call!  My case worker said, “Suzanne, are you sitting down?”  She had to ask me that question more than once.  When I replied, “I am now.” She said, ” You’ve been chosen!  Your baby is going to be born in 4 weeks!”  I was about to burst with excitement!  Our suitcase was packed in the living room and I was swamped at school mentoring two new teachers. You couldn’t tell anyone in case things fell through, and I was about to burst with excitement.

Six weeks later, we got the call at 4:00 a.m. Daniel Cole was born, weighing 10 lbs. 4 oz.

At the time of the call, we didn’t know his gender.  He was born at a very small hospital over an hour away.  We jumped into our car and raced there; where we were greeted by a huge man with a grin on his face and a whole panel of nurses.  It was his grandfather, and he was waiting for us! We were not supposed to meet his mother.  She wanted a closed adoption.  It was a lovely young girl that had gotten herself into trouble.  Her dad said, “Wait here.” When he returned, he said, “Won’t you come and meet my family?”  And there she was…his mom! I went to her and said, “You are so brave, and lovely and gracious!  Thank you!”

His grandmother then turned to me and said, “Are you ready to meet your son?”  His mother stayed back, but the rest of us went charging to the nursery…and there was Daniel!

I was crying so hard I couldn’t see.  The family asked what his name was, and I said, “Daniel Cole.  Cole because it’s cool, and Daniel, because my daddy’s name is Daniel and he’s the godliest man I know.”  The attending physician in the nursery for the babies came over and said, “Is this who I think it is?  The parents of this precious boy?”  It was honestly a very holy and sacred time.  He gathered us all around, including the grandparents and prayed over all of us.  It was beautiful.

We have never seen them again, we don’t know one another’s surnames, we send pictures annually to them through the agency, and at 18 they would love to meet Daniel to see the young man that he has become.

When Daniel was still very young, Peter’s career took the Marinaces to London, England where they lived for several years.

What they didn’t know, was that there were some very dark days ahead…

The conclusion of this interview will be published Friday. 

See you then!

that Leadership Education works.

When you trust the process…

practice the principles…

and engage qualified mentors…

success is a natural by-product.

Each.and.every.time.

It is amazing to both experience and watch…

and it never gets old…

wherever and whenever it occurs!

“Come to the edge…

it’s too high!

Come to the edge.

We might fall.

Come to the edge.

And they came.

And he pushed them.

And they flew.” ~ Garland Wright

And as I said…there’s simply nothing like it!

Thanks to our family…

for driving hours and hours…

in order to be at Son #2′s Opening Night.

And an equally sincere and overwhelming thanks…

to The Klemens Family for being his second family…

and home away from home…

for countless rehearsals!

To the Oliver DeMilles, Shanon Brooks…

Bruce Browns, Angela Wards, Tim Drivers…

and countless others in this world…

who dare to live life on the edge…

so that many will fly…

your examples reap eternal benefits.

Performance schedules…

for the Redlands Shakespeare Festival…

can be seen here.

We hope to see you there!

If you are interested in learning more about the opportunity to better understand Leadership Parenting, there is still time to register here and join us this Wednesday, May 16, 2012 at 10:00 MDT on a free webinar with Dr. Shanon Brooks. Hope to see you there!

I was cooking along…

with big plans for the rest of this week…

when lo and behold…

I was summoned for jury duty!

As in…

I had to “drive down there for real”…

rather than just call in.

One afternoon and morning later…

I was dismissed…

right along with my plans.

Therefore…

I shall punt.

I’m going to continue to feature…

fabulous and fascinating women…

intermittently throughout May.

And after that…

who knows what the future holds?

People are fascinating!

I love featuring them.

Speaking of which…

through a bizarre twist of events…

my parents “across-the-street-neighbor”…

contacted me a few days ago…

in a bind…

wanting to know if I could help.

I met her sister today…

and was fascinated!

In helping her aging mother and stepfather…

I found out some very interesting and remarkable things.

Please welcome my new found friend, Cindy Howe.

I met her at the hospital…

where her step dad was admitted…

very unexpectedly after a fall while vacationing.

Cindy lives three hours away.

Their family was in need…

of us moving the parent’s car…

so that a grandchild…

who is being flown down from Washington state…

can drive them home.

Whew!  I hope you’re keeping up.

We have become fast friends…

and the kind that will carry on…

in less than 8 hours flat.

She’s amazing in my book!

When I told her I had a blog…

and wanted to feature her…

she laughed hysterically.

Cindy…

oh Cindy!

Here you are!

While I have paraphrased this…

I’ll let Cindy tell her own story.

“After my children were grown, I felt a real desire to return to school in order to take things up a notch where my community service and volunteerism were concerned.  I was turning  54 at the time, and managed to graduate at the age of 56; because I went to summer school as well.  I have a degree in Human Development with a minor in Aging as well as Gerontology.  A Human Development degree is interesting, because it can go in several directions.  You can apply it to social work, education, or even health and human services.

What I realized during this time, was that I am honestly a sponge!  I learned that I simply love learning!

As Americans, we typically spend a lot of time planning for our futures from a financial perspective.  We save and are even willing to hire someone else to manage and oversee our assets.  What isn’t normal, is the fact that we as a nation of people are living longer and longer.  We aren’t planning for that from the perspective of maintaining our personal freedoms.

Individuals that live in cities within the nation that have efficient public transit have few issues.  In other words, the need for reliance upon a vehicle can be minimal.

However, the vast majority of individuals who reach an age where they can no longer drive, suddenly realize that they are losing their freedoms. Many are rendered quite helpless in the face of longevity and no support system.

My husband always says, “You don’t know what you don’t know.”

It really is the truth.

Are you aware that within the Boomer population, 10,000 people turn 65 each and every day, and will continue to do so for the next 18 years?

The impact that this is going to have on availability of social services within communities is huge!  According to the 2010 Census the fastest growing segment of older adults is amongst those turning 85 and above!  In fact, over those same 18 years, the percentage will increase by 360%.  Senior needs at 65 vs. the needs of those same individuals at the age of 85 look tremendously different.

Last year, I decided to make a difference and produce an impact for the better where these current statistics and my own community were concerned.

I received a Federal Grant with which I developed The Navigator.

It is a community transportation guide that was developed with the intent of providing easy, affordable access to medical appointments, entertainment, shopping and visits with friends or relatives.

In this pamphlet, I placed a grid map of the city, with a key to where libraries, senior centers, hospitals, and other desirable services are located.

I worked at helping to make seniors aware of their options.

I have to confess, that this year I didn’t feel as successful in my project.  I had a city grant that was modest, and I set out to speak to numerous charitable organizations within the city, about changing their mission statements to include and recognize services for older adults.  For example, Rotary, National Charity League, Soroptomists and others have really large numbers of people upon which to rely for resources.  The challenge though, is in the fact that most all services by these organizations currently target children and older youth.  Organizations that are non-profit that are “mom and pop” grassroots types, generally are full of tremendous intent but are sadly, lacking in laborers and funding.

While I worked very hard to make higher profile groups aware of need, for many it will take a universal change at the national level to adjust their focus.  I’m not giving up; it’s just a bit daunting.  In the meantime, I’m working on starting a healthy dialogue between cities where government lines are perhaps crossed.  For example, if an individual resides in one town that borders another, but has an appointment with the doctor in the next city over; currently, no services are recognized to cross those boundaries.  I’m working to make transportation agencies aware of the needs as well as offering suggestions for solutions to these current challenges that end up penalizing individuals that need assistance.  This area of our population and the needs as well as markets that it affords are currently endless with possibilities.  It is my hope that people with a passion and joy for this type of work and service will rise up to fill those needs.”

Our conversation today was so rewarding.  I came away feeling very blessed.  Cindy is amazing. She’s humble, she’s a generous spirit, she’s a world changer…one grass roots level need at a time!  One of her current thoughts is for seniors who sell their vehicles, due to either a lack of desire or ability to drive themselves any longer.  She is wanting to pursue a concept where they will bank the monies from their vehicle sales into an account with a company that will recognize it; and exchange it for transportation to and from necessary venues as the needs arise!

I am humbled by the creativity and ingenuity that freedom affords to mankind.

And I am grateful that I am both a woman and a mother; so that I can be alongside such incredible inspiration and greatness.

I hope you are privileged with a beautiful celebratory Sunday, and that you are inspired by other women who will be experiencing the same!

Much love to each of you,

And the winner of the Love Crazy bracelet by the incredible Reagan McCune is…Cherylyn Klemens!!! Congratulations and Happy Mother’s Day, Cherylyn! ( Admit it, you thought I forgot, didn’t you?)

I had a profound morning yesterday.

I have the incredible privilege…

of attending Leadership Parenting class…

with even more incredible women!

Women focused on creating change…

that first involves themselves…

then family…

and ultimately the world.

In the discussion portion…

Dr. Brooks cited these classics…

“Little Women”, “Laddie”…

and “Little Britches.”

Later, Kim Reeder brought “Alas, Babylon”…

into the mix.

She started this profound thought…

that I have somewhat paraphrased here.

“In reading classics…

I now read with the intent…

of examining and studying…

the atmosphere and influence…

of the home.

For example…

in “Alas, Babylon”…

you have a nuclear fall out…

that has decimated normalcy in life.

What does the mother do?

She gets out the table cloth…

sets the table for dinner…

and perpetuates normalcy…

within the home.”

I had an epiphany at this point…

which merely reinforces the power of community…

and gathering to discuss, learn and grow.

When you consider the other classics mentioned…

think of Marmee in Little Women.

The March family loses its wealth…

father is off at war…

the girls are…

well, being girls…

with all that youth entails.

Through it all they learn that love, commitment…

family and its rewards amidst trials…

triumphs over all.

“Laddie”…

weaves a beautiful picture…

of a large, busy family…

and the mother that…

while facing daily challenges on all fronts…

provides stability…

nuture…

and pride in running her household…

with excellence and beauty.

Interestingly…

both Alcott and Stratton-Porter…

base their novels on their own childhood experiences.

“Little Britches”…

profiles a woman in the West…

pioneering an area…

under harsh and unexpected circumstances.

If you haven’t read these works…

I sincerely hope you will.

Perhaps you just need…

a nudge or inspiration to revisit them.

Here is my epiphany…

Dr. Brooks cited the very sad statistic…

that 60 million children ages 5-13 in America today…

spend roughly 92% of their weekly time…

in activities that don’t engage their parents.

Monday…

I expressed quite an opinion…

about Motherhood being negated in today’s society.

There are proverbial bricks thrown at moms…

and our entire culture, really…

each and every day…

that chip away at the significance…

of this most noble of professions.

It’s difficult at times, to not buy in.

It can be discouraging…

or even daunting.

But mothers are resilient…

strong…

resourceful.

And if we purpose to view…

this job…

as the privilege of both influence…

and opportunity for personal growth…

that it really, honestly is…

instead of listening…

to what are now cultural norms…

imagine the change!

I would respectfully submit…

that we get to work…

with a fresh resolve…

to build stronger foundations.

I’m going to start…

with erroneous bricks that are often hurled.

For me, as well as others…

committing to class…

is a tremendous help.

It diminishes the head noise…

which softens the blows of erroneous bricks.

This…

along with the daily…

quiet…

often anonymous resolve…

to “just keep doing the next best thing”…

is what, dear mothers….

creates the incredible culture of home…

and cultivates, molds…

and ultimately produces…

leaders that the world has yet to see.

My dear friend, Melissa Johnson…

was recently asked…

“So, you’re really into this mom thing, aren’t you?”

Yes.

Yes, we are.

Thank you for asking…

and don’t ever underestimate us.

How is the culture of your home looking?

I know I have some things to change and tweak.

By the way…

Dr. Shanon Brooks is hosting…

another Leadership Parenting call…

on Wednesday, May 16…

from 10:00-11:00 MDT.

(He prefers to call it Campus Time.)

You are invited to attend.

It’s absolutely free.

Bring your family and friends…

or anyone else desiring to reunite and refresh…

both home and culture.

Don’t worry about your kids “making noise”…

as they are the reason we’re here!

It’s not too late to join classes

that are currently in session…

as they are recorded…

and we’ve only had one.

What are your thoughts?

Any changes you want to make?

XO,

I have also decided that in honor of mothers everywhere…I will continue to feature some that are readers here on TommyMom throughout the remainder of this month.  There are so many great ones! Prepare to be wowed!  Now on with today…

I am asked often what a day in my life “looks”  like.

At the risk of appearing somewhat self aggrandizing…

I’ve decided to oblige both this question…

as well as a request…

into a day.

Yes, I realize…

that in a backhanded sort of way…

I am featured three times a week here.

Please read on…

as there is method to my madness.

At least…

I like to think so…

as it assures as well as indulges…

the small portion of sanity…

that I have left remaining intact.

Thursday of last week went like this.

Upon rising to greet the world…

I also greeted an “empty” fridge…

where some breakfast necessities were concerned.

It has been crazy busy around here…

topped with the fact…

that I was gone for 5 days.

It isn’t promising to let up…

any time before the end of the month.

Son #3 asked to “come along with me”…

to run the errands that could no longer be put off.

Yes, the “breakfast staples” were amongst them.

He was lamenting a certain instrument…

that he had played one day prior…

at our local beatnik music store.

He was also sporting a hefty wad of cash…

from working two Coachellafests and one Stagecoach.

Too bad it was at home…

and we were already down the hill…

when he mentioned his desire to purchase said instrument.

Back up we went…

and with cash in hand…

moved towards the errands.

The music store was just opening.

Yes, we can stop by…

was my answer to the question.

Outside…

we had a Leadership Education pep rally of sorts…

discussing perception vs. reality…

and how people are often treated erroneously…

regarding the former rather than the latter.

Yes, he had been the recipient.

How to respond with diplomacy…

and respect before entering said establishment…

was our rally topic.

I waited outside…

touching base with an ill friend…

while he went in to put into action…

what had been discussed.

Minutes later…

he returned with this beauty…

complete with original case.

It is a 1953 Gibson mandolin.

Driving from beatnik music shop…

where he was indeed awarded a $100 discount…

for the inappropriate interchange we discussed…

I heard about the Gibson company…

(an intermittent discussion in our home)

and how the value of its instruments…

simply keeps climbing.

He stops at the store…

for me…

remaining with his newly acquired treasure.

We go home…

I make breakfast…

for every other waiting individual.

They are patient and understanding.

This would be because they are equally exhausted.

Son #2 comes around the corner…

informing me…

that he is in need of pursuing hair extensions.

I’m happy to see him…

because I’ve somewhat forgotten what he looks like….

he has been gone to Shakespeare practice so much.

Would I be able to go with him to “Real Divas” beauty supply…

(as opposed to “Fake Ones”? crosses my mind)

to “check out” real human hair?

Sure.

Let me do table time…

with your little brothers first.

Speaking of time…

when’s lunch?

In the meantime…

Son #1 has uncharacteristically texted…

mid-work day.

Did I remember that his beloved dog…

was going to need to be picked up…

due to his upcoming trip for work…

out of town in Atlanta this week?

Picked up…

doesn’t involve “swing by.”

Just clarifying…

that this involves a 2 1/2 hour drive.

He’ll meet us part way.

Too bad…

I’m leaving Friday morning…

for a two day conference out of town.

Back to lunch.

Son #2 has a friend’s play to attend…

as well as his own rehearsals…

one hour away spanning a three day period.

“Real Divas” here we come!

Shortly after arriving…

we have a match!

Along with twine, needle and clips.

I have a foreboding feeling.

Next stop…

Heather’s shop…

where she illustrates for me…

“how to make extensions.”

Somehow I knew this was the case.

Now the clock is ticking.

Son #3…

has taken himself, #4 and #5…

to the karate dojo…

making a delivery for me on the way.

Armed with supplies…

I attempt to follow directions…

for making hair extensions.

So far so good.

Since the director has to decide…

and not wanting to waste time…

we complete one row….

so he can get the idea.

Success!

Add hair extensions and a rudimentary knowledge thereof…

to my ever-expanding bio.

Off he goes…

with a cheery “I’ll see you Sunday…

and be in touch!”

I head to pack…

for my seminar…

in keeping with my commitment…

to both a more holistic lifestyle…

as well as health practices.

While I know the rest of this post’s expose’…

will officially spill over into the weekend…

I received this photo…

and paraphrased text message…

while sitting in my seminar.

“Son #3 was stung by a bee.  This is 30 minutes old.

He has a patch as well that looks like hives.

We’re treated him with “xyz.”

(And did a fine job, by the way…)

any other ideas?

I came home to a kid covered in welts…

but doing much better.

Yes, we’ll be consulting for an epi-pen this week.

There has been a lot of attention given…

to the recent comment made about Ann Romney…

by a political strategist…

regarding the fact that “she had never worked…

a day in her life.”

This is sooo not about politics…

but rather moronic statements.

YOU ARE KIDDING ME, RIGHT?

Everyone who bears the title of Mother…

WORKS.

And if you doubt that for one minute…

we’ll trade places for ONE DAY.

Oh…

and when we do…

bring your knee pads with you…

‘cuz you’ll be on them..

begging me for mercy..

when you’re expected…

to BRING IT.

Carry on!

Moms everywhere…

regardless of your profile…

YOU. SIMPLY. ROCK.

Informed individuals get that.

Love you, love life…

privileged to WORK alongside you!

I’m featuring a “Mom” today!

And she’s definitely not an ordinary one…

but this is par for the course…

considering how I met her!

Somehow…

the God of hand-crafted-artisan jewelry…

was smiling upon me…

when I clicked on a picture…

of a bracelet similar to this one…

except totally different.

If you’re a mom…

or even of the female gender…

and reading this…

you’re still with me.

Then there’s this.

Be still my stinkin’ heart.

I’ll take two, please.

Oh, but wait!

Fuschia is almost everyday life over here…

so perhaps I should reconsider.

But then…

a one-of-a-kind belt…

would be a real showstopper as well!

I’m confident you have the idea.

She’s CRAZY talented…

and I fell head-over-heels in LOVE…

with her stuff!

Actually…

it’s all coming back to me.

It was this particular bracelet…

that did me in.

It was crafted for a little girl…

named Annie…

who is in this artist’s daughter’s class…

and happens to be blind.

Yes, those Swarovski crystals…

are braille.

Then I linked to this site…

and the rest is history.

Sort of.

It’s complicated..

but that’s why I love it…

and hopefully you do, too!

Technology…

isn’t always my friend…

but in this particular case…

it’s a best one.

Through Facebook…

and the bracelet above…

I ended up seeing a piece…

I couldn’t live without.

While there are several of those…

I singled out one in particular.

This woman…

the stunning Reagan McCune…

(wife of the judge I now refer to as Opie Taylor)

told me to e-mail her…

if I, in fact, desired to purchase it!

I did…

along with my payment information…

and waited for my package.

And waited.

Oh, and then I waited.

And after I waited…

for about 9 days…

sprinting to my barren mailbox…

I received a very polite message.

“Hi, this is Love Crazy checking in.

Are you still interested in that bracelet?”

Too bad…

that in my cyberspace haste…

I HAD TEXTED MY INFORMATION…

TO A NUMBER THAT DIDN’T EXIST!

Of course…

I immediately blamed her.

Professional as well as mature…

I know!

This started a banter back and forth…

that continues nearly daily via text!

We’ve connected.

As in one day…

we shall meet.

We’re modeling this relationship…

after these two.

  photo courtesy of StarPulse

Except we don’t plan to drive off a cliff…

in a show of solidarity.

At least not just yet.

Here’s a smidge about Reagan a.k.a “Louise”…

and how she started making these beautiful pieces!

(Notice the necklace in the above photo as well.)

Sigh.

“I love photography.

I especially love to photograph my family…

as they mean the world to me.

While desiring a certain look…

I decided to make a prop of a flower…

similar to the ones geisha girls wore in their hair.

Historically, those flowers involved rice glue…

huge effort in folding paper…

and lots of commitment!

I had seen a Do-It-Yourself video…

on a necklace and how to make it…

so I sort of improvised…

made one up…

wore it…

and had everyone ask me…

where I had gotten it!

When I moved on to the medium of leather…

and stamping…

I knew I had found my niche!

It’s a perfect match!

I wanted the name Crazy Love…

because my life is absolutely crazy…

but I love it…

and when I looked it was already taken.

I reversed my thoughts…

and LOVE CRAZY designs was born.”

You can only imagine…

my utter shock…

(and horror)…

when I discovered…

that the individual…

at the other “end of the line”…

had been recently featured…

on “PW.”

For those of you that aren’t familiar…

with that lingo…

that would be the one and only…

Pioneer Woman!

That gorgeous belt?

It’s in the Oklahoma Cowboy Museum…

awaiting a deserving owner.

Despite her fame…

and extreme over-the-top talent…

we’ve continued to text…

laugh hysterically…

and keep one another up late at night.

We actually spoke ear to ear…

for the first time ever this week.

It was for this feature, of course.

Because you see…

Reagan is offering…

a bracelet…

to a lucky reader of TommyMom.

Why?

Because I’m Thelma…

and Thelma and Louise are “besties”, babe!

But really…

 it’s because she loves what she does…

and thinks motherhood…

to be the noblest of professions.

So check these gorgeous numbers out…

and leave a comment here on TommyMom…

to be eligible to win!

Tell me which one you’d like…

how you’d have it personalized…

and if it’s for you…

or someone else who’s very special.

The winner…

will be chosen…

next Friday.

Happy Mother’s Day!

And “Louise?”…

don’t ever change….

‘cuz I dearly love ya!
a.k.a. “Thelma.”

p.s.  See, I told you it would be painless, and that I wouldn’t use that picture of your perm from first grade! XO

]]> http://www.tommymom.com/full-of-love-and-definitely-crazy-14446/feed 12 http://www.tommymom.com/on-mothers-and-motherhood-14405 http://www.tommymom.com/on-mothers-and-motherhood-14405#comments Wed, 02 May 2012 10:00:54 +0000 Teri http://www.tommymom.com/?p=14405

“My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.”

~George Washington

“Let France have good mothers, and she will have good sons.”

~Napoleon Bonaparte

“The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.”

~Honore de Balzac

“Women know the way to rear up children (to be just). They know a simple, merry, tender knack of tying sashes, fitting baby-shoes, and stringing pretty words that make no sense. And kissing full sense into empty words.”

~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

“All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother.”

~Abraham Lincoln

“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.”

~Washington Irving

“Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.”

~Aristotle

“That best academy, a mother’s knee.”

~James Russell Lowell

“A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.”

~Tenneva Jordan

“When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.”

~Sophia Loren

“Never marry a man who hates his mother, because he’ll end up hating you.”

~Jill Bennett

“If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do well matters very much.”

~Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

“No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.”

Florida Scott-Maxwell

“You may have tangible wealth untold;
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I you can never be -
I had a mother who read to me.”

~Strickland Gillilan

“Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.”

~William Makepeace Thackeray

“A mother understands what a child does not say.”

~Jewish Proverb

“Where there is a mother in the home, matters go well.”

~Amos Bronson Alcott

“A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.”
~Erma Bombeck

“My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.”

~Erma Bombeck

“Cleaning your house while your children are still growing, is like shoveling the sidwalk before it stops snowing.”

~Phyllis Diller

“Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials.”

~Meryl Streep

“There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.”

~Chinese Proverb

“Only mothers can think of the future – because they give birth to it in their children.”

~Maxim Gorky

“Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible.”

~Marion C. Garretty

“The phrase “working mother” is redundant.”

~Jane Sellman

“There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one.”

~Jill Churchill

“I love my mother as the trees love water and sunshine – she helps me grow, prosper, and reach great heights.”

~Adabella Radici

In two weeks…

Mother’s Day will be officially over.

Moms…

are the hands that rock the cradle…

and rule the world.

It is my pleasure…

to celebrate and honor Motherhood…

and Homemaking…

here for the next two weeks.

I’ll highlight moms…

both past and present…

celebrate this transcendent vocation…

and give away some fabulous prizes…

Stay Tuned!

We’ve talked a lot about parenting for the past few posts, due to the launch of Dr. Shanon Brooks Leadership Parenting classes.  I thought it would be appropriate then, to close out this week with some thoughts from my brother, Tim; who was an amazing parent to literally hundreds of kids.  Yep, you read that right.  Countless numbers would find him later in their own newly-found adulthood or even parenthood and confess to him, “You were the only one I ever had.” Enjoy.

Having worked with at-risk youth as well as honors students for over 20 years…

I have seen the full spectrum of parents and regardless…

of how successful or unsuccessful children are…

parents can be potential pushovers for any type of child.

While the title does not ask how to prevent being a pushover…

viewing the symptoms can also give clues…

as to how to stop being a pushover.

Here are a list of warning signs that you might be a parenting pushover.

1. NO ABSOLUTES- Strong parenting requires solid boundaries. When trying to enforce one of these boundaries, if parents waffle, or allow their kids to negotiate a compromise that weakens the standard, this is a bad sign. It is not suggested that everything be an absolute either, as some things can be modified or discussed, but there need to be a set of standards with kids that are never negotiable and that are always enforced without exception.

2. NO “NO’s”- Parents want their kids to have a better life than they have had. Mistakenly, many believe that means never denying kids anything that they ask for. This leads to being a pushover. Saying no does not require a reason for every occurrence. Sometimes kids just need to understand that parents make decisions based on many factors that aren’t always obvious or discussed. Parents need to occasionally say “no” if for no other reason than to prepare them for the way life really works. It can be said kindly and without hurtful intent but it reinforces the parent as the ultimate decision maker and reminds kids that while they have a say in their own lives, while they are still underage, parents are the final authority.

3. POPULARITY SEEKERS-Whether trying to look good to all the other parents, attempting to fit in with teenage groups of friends, or desiring to be best friends with a son or daughter, parents can sacrifice respectability for ratings. Kids will use that tool of “uncool” to try and push parents into doing something simply because “all the other parents are letting kids do it, or because “you just don’t understand what it’s like to be a kid today”. If standards are lowered in an attempt to be popular in any of these ways, you are being a pushover. There is nothing wrong with being the adult. Parenting is unpopular in many decisions because it is supposed to be the voice that combines reason, authority, and love and needs the maturity of knowing when each is needed.

While these are just a few of the warning signs…

they are the pillars that usually determine…

if kids are going to run the household…

or whether kids are in a well run household.

All of these can be avoided…

from a position of love and respect…

but all should be avoided nonetheless.

Best,

Tim