Closed Sunday

Scottish Independence: It's not all roses.

2012-02-24T21:23:00.000Z

I've commented far too much on independence but following on from a previous post that Doncaster is in fact Scottish I need to point out the negatives of Doncaster being Scottish. I'm not talking about Doncaster Rovers dominating the SPL for generations to come but something that is going to strike fear into the heart of all true Scots.

If Doncaster is Scottish this would mean that Jeremy Clarkson is Scottish.

I am so going to do this this year.

2012-02-24T18:47:00.000Z

Source here. If you've never seen xkcd it's well worth a look.

Local Heroes: Donald Trump. Saviour of Scotland

2012-02-24T16:47:00.002Z

In an unexpected twist former republic presidential candidate Donald Trump who's ancestral family hails from the Isle of Lewis (Tong to be precise) has donned a cape and is fighting a crusade against wind turbines across Scotland and is giving money to cats. That's Communities Against Turbines Scotland rather than the furry animals.

It's nice to see that Donald Trump is going to do "whatever it takes" to prevent the turbines in Aberdeen being raised. Of course this has nothing to do with his golf course that is being constructed in the same area as he's been a vocal supporter against the wind turbines on the Isle of Lewis hasn't he? Oh. Wait.

Insert your own joke involving Trump and Wind Here.

Wind turbines should be the decision of the local community who will have to live with them not American Billionaires who want a round of golf. Hopefully the money he is donating will allow for a balanced campaign to be held and for communities to voice their opinions about what they want.

There's a rumble on at the Comhairle.

2012-02-24T15:20:00.000Z

Having only been here a year, I've never experienced a local council election here but there's one scheduled for May and it looks like there will be blood on the carpet soon.

Back in Trafford there was very little in the local papers about the council in general and when elections came it was a case of voting for whatever party you wanted and that was about it. In the ten years or so I lived in Trafford I remember the odd leaflet coming through the door saying vote for X but there wasn't a lot of coverage or discussion in the local press.

Here it's different. There's a level of interest in local politics that I'm not used to seeing - it's fascinating to see people actually take an interest in what's going on locally and even if it is a small percentage of the overall population it's rather refreshing that people are looking at what the local council is, and should, be doing.

Another difference is that a large percentage of councillors are independent and don't have party affiliations but as I mentioned previously, the SNP are putting up a large number of candidates which seems to have put the cat amongst the pigeons (or "Chuir sin an clamhan gobhlach am measg nan cearc").

The independents are not going to give up without a fight though and the local newspapers are full of letters criticising the SNP (mainly over RET) and rebuffs from SNP candidates and members, criticisms over current councillors regarding fuel prices and so forth. If you read some of the blogs on the subject, some of the statements being made are getting very close to libellous (some are so far past libel they're in tin foil hat land). I'm just waiting for someone to say "yo momma's so fat".

It's all rather entertaining and much more fun than the Scottish parliamentary elections and the (lack of) debate on Scottish Independence.

Anyway, I must go the ~~Jets and the Sharks~~ independents and the SNP are clicking fingers at each other in the football pitch outside the leisure centre.

In yet another Closed Sunday exclusive here is a pre-enactment of how it could go:

Mystic Tony predicts the future.

2012-02-24T14:33:00.000Z

Yesterday, I posted an article about the Muirneag not sailing and a link to this useful website which said that the Muirneag wasn't sailing.

In shock news, the Muirneag isn't sailing again. This time due to problems with its steering gear which is obviously a sign of my psychic powers and so this weeks lotto numbers will be 1,9,13,29,38,39 and bonus ball 7.

Of course, predicting that the Muirneag isn't sailing is a bit like predicting the sun will rise in the morning, only more certain.

We are not alone

2012-02-23T14:41:00.000Z

What's this? Is Tony rambling on about aliens again?

No. It's more serious this time. Broadband. I've blogged about broadband a number of times and although I get a good speed, there's places on the island which do suffer from horrendous speeds.

We are not alone in this. According to this article up-to a third of the UK suffers from speeds of less than 5Mbit/s and ten percent are under 3Mbit/s. So the people on the Westside with their blistering 1Mbit/s can consider themselves part of a very select group.

The report (and comments) do make rather grim reading but there's a ray of hope. It's not just the far off islands in Scotland that get poor broadband - places in London can have speeds just as bad (is it wrong of me to have a nice warm feeling about that?).

So, although we do have issues here on the island it's wrong to think of it as just an issue that affects us. Just think you could be living in a dingy one-bedroom flat in London with all the riots, drugs and socially bad behaviour and still not be able to use iPlayer.

Is the Muirneag Sailing Tonight?

2012-02-23T13:30:00.002Z

The MV Muirneag didn't sail again last night due to adverse weather conditions which is a bit odd as it wasn't that bad last night. Perhaps it was laying mines in the Minch for the forthcoming battle for Scottish Independence. (You may scoff at this but the I'm starting to believe that the Muirneag is sent out on secret missions for the Scottish Government - it's the only explanation I can come up with for the lack of sailings.)

This means that my brand spanking new laptop won't be arriving today. Not that I expected it to, it's got to travel all the way from a far off foreign country called Ingerland which is a strange place full of wonder and shops that open on a Sunday and where the locals don't know where the Isle of Lewis is so the laptop will be sent via the Isles of Wight and Man before finally arriving here.

It'll also mean that there will be no milk or bread left in the co-op tonight which means that I'll have to have tea without milk and won't be able to have toast in the morning - you have to suffer real deprivations living on an island - black tea.

In an aim to improve the lot of the people of the Isle of Lewis there's a new site available that at a single glance gives you the status of the Muirneag. It's not dynamic.

Time for a shopping expedition.

2012-02-22T13:09:00.002Z

One advantage of living on a small island is that it allows the grumpy old man that is in us all to break out. Normally over an issue so small thatit's not really an issue in the grand scheme of things. But why let that spoil a good old fashioned rant? (Dear BBC, if you're filming a new series, I'm available at very reasonable rates.)

I'm in the market for a new laptop as the current one is on its last legs, the casing holding the screen has broken and is currently held together by bulldog clips which have a tendency to fly off with extreme force and I've lost one cup to a bulldog clip. It also means that it's impossible to close the screen which means that it's not really portable any more.

Digging around on t'interwebs I found a number of suitable models. My main criteria being cheap as I've never really advanced from nethack in the games arena and apart from using gimp to straighten photographs (my horizon is always a couple of degrees out and I've given up trying to get them straight off the bat, I blame my wonky leg) and hugin to create panoramas I don't really need an overly powerful machine (if you're not playing games processor speed isn't particularly important but having a minimum of 3-4GB memory is). Living on Lewis means that having a windup charger would be a good idea as well but I'm not seeing many of these being offered these days.

Now, a laptop isn't a big item. They fit in nice small boxes and although not quite small enough to get through the letter box[1] the postman will deliver boxes of that size and as they weigh about the same as a couple of bags of sugar they're not particularly heavy and don't require specialised lifting equipment. So could someone please explain why it costs £25 more to ship here? It's the same rate to get it shipped to Germany. If you buy a laptop in Europe it can be cheaper to get it shipped here from there than it is to get it shipped from England. Go figure.

It also means that if you're buying a fair amount of electronic items (i.e. small and reasonably light) it can be cheaper to fly to Glasgow for a day trip shopping than it is to get things delivered.

That assumes that they will ship, some companies just refuse point blank (they'll deliver to Ireland, the Channel Islands and elsewhere but not to the Scottish Islands).

One thing that I'm finding more and more annoying about online shopping is that due to the fact that I live in a place with an unusual addrss (not having a street name) is how many sites don't bother testing the addrss entry field properly. Most allow you to enter a postcode and house number to get a address which then pre-populates the various fields but then won't accet the address as it's invalid. You can't then change the address as it doesn't match what the system says it is.

In itself this isn't so much of a problem. Or shouldn't be - after all there's a phone number to ring for customer services or an email address to post your query which will be answered in short order.

Or not. I refuse to ring a premium rate number for a query - I'll happily ring a local or national number (as that's included in my line rental) but I'll be buggered if I'm going to pay to ring a company and pay for the privilege of telling them that I can't order from them[2].

Sending an email is pointless, I fired off five emails to five separate companies (some rather large, so it's not as if I'm talking to someone who works out of his spare room) saying that I'd like to order a PC but I can't enter my address as the validation is incorrect. Have I received a response? No.

This is where internet businesses fail - customer service sucks and why I've started to use local businesses again where ever possible, on a small island it's difficult, especially if you have specific needs or requirements which the local shops don't meet. TechMobile, our local computer shop, has a reasonable range of equipment but nothing that met my requirements this time and I had to go online to get hold of one.

I finally managed to buy a laptop online and although I resent the fact I had to finally cough up some money for P&P and will be grumbling about the £2.95 that I had to pay. I'm going to pen a letter to my local MP and complain.

If you're interested, it was from ASDA which charges a flat £2.95 to deliver small items and even with this scandalous delivery charge was still the cheapest for the model I was after. Argos et. al. take note. If they can do it, why can't you? There's a factor of ten between this and the highest I was quoted (and the £2.95 is the same throughout the country - it's not an extra surcharge for here).

If you're wondering about the title - it's from The Ballard of Halo Jones which is a ~~comic~~ graphic novel from years ago. The first book in the series has a "shopping expedition" which involves riots, muggings and robot dogs and is generally a nightmare view of shopping in the future.

I've a suspicion that Alan Moore spent some time on the Isle of Lewis as it's an accurate reflection on the pain of shopping here albeit toned down.

[1] One of the annoying things these days is that laptops are now starting to grow, the current I've got is too large to go in cabin baggage on Loganair. Granted, Loganair does have some of the lowest dimensions I've seen so a mobile phone is about the most you can take on. In the interests of fairness this is down to the size of the aircraft in service for Loganair, as they're very short range and small there's not a lot of luggage space internally. If you bring a large suitcase they have to strap it to the outside of the plane.
[2] The deals aren't good enough to make it worthwhile - most companies are very similar on price and there's only a couple of quid in it. Spending half-an-hour on the phone is going to eat up any saving you're making.

The scourge of Stornoway.

2012-02-20T18:39:00.000Z

I've often commented on the advantages of living in a place such as Stornoway and some of the disadvantages (such as petrol prices).

There's a subject that I've not had the courage to tackle so far, something that has been the subject of a campaign in the Stornoway Gazette, a facebook page and now the eyes of officialdom have turned their beady eyes towards the scourge of Stornoway. Forgive me for saying this. Parking.

Yes, that's right there is to be a clampdown on bad parking in Stornoway.

I have to admit that although I've seen some bad parking (mainly at Tesco's[1]) and occasionally in the town itself I don't think that it's actually that bad. I know that this is a heretical view which is likely to get me ostracised from society but I've always been able to find a spot to park within easy walking distance of the town centre[2] (apart from Sunday morning when the town is packed. Stornoway is the only town I know where Sunday is the worse day to find a parking spot in a town centre. Especially when all the shops in town are closed.)

Granted, more parking spaces would be nice and I wouldn't be overly upset if some disabled spaces were placed on the main road opposite the chemists[3]. (I seem to remember a prospective councillor saying that we need a multi-storey carpark, I can't find a reference to this but if anyone knows please let me know).

Of course, with more parking spaces comes the spectre of parking fees. According to this report it looks like they're going to increase the fees at Percival Square to 50p per hour (maximum of three hours) and potentially introduce more pay and display carparks in town.

In saying all this I do think that people who park blocking pavements should be shot at dawn (which is one of the major criticisms of the parking here) but since I come from a place where if you park a car correctly when you come back you're still suffering a risk of having a missing wing mirror, antenna, key marks down the side or slashed tyres then parking in Stornoway is a blessed relief.

[1] The Tesco in Stornoway suffers from a major problem - the carpark is way, way to small for the size of the store.
[2] I used to walk further from my parking spot at work to the office.
[3] I have to admit I've not actually looked to see what the disabled provisions are like around Stornoway.

Calmac is getting rather belligerent these days.

2012-02-20T11:47:00.005Z

According to BBC news, in an incident of friendly fire the MV Isle of Mull has hit Oban pier. This follows the Arran ferry (the MV Caledonian Isles) hitting a harbour wall on the 14th (which was just a Valentines day Glasgow Kiss) and the MV Isle of Lewis attacking Liverpool.

Calmac must be getting a real headache with the need to shift ferries around to cope. So what's going on? In a Closed Sunday exclusive I have managed to obtain CCTV footage from the bridge at the time of the incident which explains it all.

You can watch it here.

Doncaster, yet another Scottish territory.

2012-02-19T13:37:00.002Z

According to the press, it turns out that not only is Antarctica Scottish but so is Doncaster. That's right, it looks like there's another enclave to add to Berwick-upon-Tweed. Doncaster.

Unfortunately Doncaster doesn't have any oil so it's a candidate for immediate trade. Or would be if it didn't have Doncaster Rovers. Given the trouble with Rangers recently there could be a spot for a new football team in the SPL.

Of course we'll have to rename the airport from Robin Hood to William Wallace, ship in extra large deep fat fryers and make everyone drive on the right but that's a small price to pay for free prescriptions and higher education isn't it?

New piece of string found. Broadband restored.

2012-02-18T18:28:00.001Z

Internet coverage in Stornoway has been flaky recently, there was a two day outage (roughly) from 6:27AM on the 15th to 17:35 on the 16th which took out most of the town. One of the side effects was that shops couldn't take credit cards - including the co-op.

Of course in the modern world shops don't take cheques any more so if you can't use your credit card and you can't use cheques you're limited to that most quaint of inventions. Cash. Of course with everyone nipping to the ATM[1] to get out cash, they quickly ran out.

So, if you needed a pint of milk and a loaf of bread you could have been in a bit of a pickle this week. It does show how dependent we are becoming on modern technology and how lack of a resilient infrastructure can come back and bite you.

If you live on t'mainland you have an option to travel out of the area to get your shopping, being stuck on an island means that you're scuppered when this happens. You're also at a slight disadvantage as any spares that are needed are unlikely to be in stock and have to be ordered[2] from t'mainland and assuming that they don't fly them in on the mail plane but use a courier[3] then you're at the mercy of the MV Muirneag sailing (or not) which can delay repairs somewhat.

If you've ever worked in IT you'll know that when something fails, it's not that uncommon for it to fail again in short order. Which it did on Friday.

As you'd expect there's been much grumbling about this - failures happen and it's a fact of life but when the internet service for a large percentage of the island is poor at best, outdated and slow[4] you can see how people get annoyed when the limited service that is available fails.

[1] Most ATM's still use phone lines rather than internet connections.
[2] Which often requires an internet connection to place the order. I've been in this situation when
[3] SOP with a lot of companies is to hold supplies at central locations and courier then out when required. It's an effective mechanism and works well as long as you're not on an island with a limited ferry service.
[4] Not that you get any discount for this. You might only be able to get ADSL Max rather than ADSL2+ but you don't get it any cheaper.

So learning the Lewis Gaelic dialect wasn't pointless after all!

2012-02-15T14:21:00.000Z

According to the BBC news, it looks like learning Gàidhlig in Lewis with its associated dialect isn't a pointless exercise as it could be one of the few to survive in years to come.

What isn't clear from the article however is which of the Lewis dialects will survive. As far as I've been able to make out there's at least four in Lewis all of which have slightly different pronunciations - you can always tell someone from Point by how they say duck (tunnag) due to how a double n is pronounced.

There are some significant differences in the dialect here - the best example I can think of is "Dè" which translates as "what". If you watch "Speaking Our Language" this is pronounced "Jeh" but in Lewis it's pronounced "Deh"[1].

One of my (minor) criticisms of the course that I attended at Lews Castle College was the fact that it was based on the Skye dialect and not the Lewis dialect which meant that a number of the phrases and terminology being learnt weren't used here (however I understand a Lewis version is in the works if not already being taught) which made it difficult to use what was being taught in real life. In saying that, I still maintain that it was a worthwhile course and worth attending if you're learning Gàidhlig.

It would be a shame if the various dialects did die out - not so much for the loss of the pronunciations (I still can't get the fourth "l" sound from the Harris dialect so wouldn't miss that) but for the phrases and idioms that are present in the various regions - I've always found that Gaelic phrases have a wonderful use of words and loosing these would diminish the language and cultural legacy of the regions involved.

[1] I admit that this is very, very rough but it's about the best I can do without using IPA and you have to remember that I sound like the policeman from 'allo 'allo.

South Uist. More than feral wheelie bins to worry about.

2012-02-15T13:29:00.000Z

I've commented about the fact that the moors of Lewis are plagued by feral wheelie bins that attack lost tourists but in Uist there's a more serious problem. Marauding deer.

There's just been a court case where a resident of South Uist was given an absolute discharge after shooting a marauding deer without permission of the land owner. There was another charge of shooting the deer after dusk which was dropped.

As you may know, in the Western Isles a large percentage of land is owned by estates and crofters then rent land on the estate from the landowner. So there's often discussions over what improvements should be made to the estate, especially for community owned estates, such as Stòras Uibhist (which owns South Uist) now is.

If you look at this report from Stòras Uibhist on what the community finds important you'll notice that changes to deer management practices (26%) are considered more important than broadband (24%), and in the middle district 50% of the population think that deer management is a major issue. (As I understand it deer and geese can cause significant damage to crofts and significantly impact the ability for crofters to make a living.)

When you live in a rural community your priorities do change, the price of fuel is more of an issue than it is on t'mainland - not just due to the fact that it's more expensive but also as you have to use more of it as there's less options for public transport and fewer local amenities which means you have to travel further but issues such as deer management are something that people in cities don't think twice about but are important to people who livelihoods depend on smallholdings, crofts and subsistence fishing.

This is one reason why there's been such a vocal outcry against the Barra Special Area of Conservation - such a designation could severely hamper the local economy, although the locals appreciate the need to protect the environment their fishing techniques have been developed over generations to protect stocks and they feel that the policy is unnecessary and lead to depopulation of the area.

Its easy to see why a lot of people here have a feeling that they're not understood and their needs are ignored - life here has differences to living on t'mainland and unless you've experienced it for yourself you don't have a clue what's important to the communities here and why issues such as deer and geese management are important.

Closed Sunday Exclusive: First video of the Independent Scottish Army.

2012-02-13T20:25:00.003Z

It's likely past you by but Scotland is responsible for the British Antarctic Territories. Yes. Scotland even gets the oil down there. I'll have a gold plated Rolls-Royce thank you very much.

What? I hear you cry? But they're English. Not so. In 1998 Westminster handed over the British Antarctic Territories over to Scotland. So the Saltire will fly over Antarctica come independence. Unfortunately there isn't an article in the Daily Mail on this as the comments would be fantastically rabid.

What does that have to do with the Independent Scottish Army I hear you all cry?

Penguins. Yes penguins. That's right the Scottish Defence Force will be composed of Penguins from Scottish Antarctica.

Mad? You may think so. But have a look at this video:

Penguins are already inspecting the guard and getting knighted in Scotland.

It's a small step to have an amphibious force of penguins defending the waters of Scotland and it'll save a fortune on equipment (no need for boats and wetsuits) and since penguins will work for peanuts (well mackerel) wages will be slashed.

Power to the People!

2012-02-13T17:44:00.002Z

According to the font of all news the BBC and other news sources the Comhairle looks like its trying to increase it's power in the islands. In this case literally.

The council is looking in buying a share in some of the wind farms that are proposed here with the aim of providing cheaper power to the residents of the islands.

Which seems to be a rather good idea, there's a massive problem with fuel poverty on the island and if you're going to cover the islands with wind turbines it'd be nice if it resulted in cheaper electricity bills to the residents rather than just lining the pockets of shareholders in other countries.

There are a number of community schemes ongoing on the island, the profits of which are reinvested into the local community, the interconnect that is required to take the electricity to t'mainland requires underwriting and as such requires a large multi-national which of course makes profits for its shareholders.

It would be nice if all the proceeds of renewable energy could be ploughed back into the communities who have owned and worked the land for generations but this isn't going to happen.

Of course this could be a smokescreen to cover the Comhairle's laser defence system that its deploying but if it means that pensioners can afford to heat their homes over winter then I'm all for it.

The battle for independence hots up: The Isle of Lewis attacks Liverpool.

2012-02-13T17:21:00.003Z

The first shots have been fired from the Scottish Navy in the battle for Scottish Independence when the MV Isle of Lewis attacked Liverpool. Unfortunately due to budget cuts they couldn't afford cannon fire and simply rammed the dock. Unfortunately the Glaswegian kiss approach to warfare doesn't transfer well to marine conflicts and the Isle of Lewis has been hospitalised for a couple of days.

The MV Isle of Lewis had been in Liverpool for its annual refit - an MOT on steroids and after a couple of delays due to problems with the engines (which isn't that much of a surprise, the Isle of Lewis has had a fair amount of engine trouble) and on its way out managed to hit the dock causing some unspecified damage and needs stitches.

The problem is that the vessel that has been providing cover for the Isle of Lewis, the Clansman needs to go off for its refit so they've had to move the MV Hebridean Isles up to provide cover which was in port yesterday which means I've actually been able to get a news worthy picture posted within a day of it happening. I'll make a reporter yet.

MV Hebridean Isles

Unfortunately the Heb. Isles is smaller and slower which is a little bit of a problem as it's half-term/communion holidays here. CalMac are trying to shuffle commerical traffic onto the MV Muirneag to increase space for passengers. Given the Muirneag's sailing history - if you've ordered anything, don't expect it soon.

Ah, the wonders of living on an island.

The best ever video summing up what Scottish Independence is about (from Taiwan)

2012-02-12T13:50:00.001Z

A Picture Post: Ness

2012-02-11T17:16:00.000Z

As the weather has been unseasonably warm a day out beckoned and Ness was the destination.

Europie Beach.

Wouldn't be bad if it was in focus.

The first time I get a picture of a bird that isn't a gull or a hooded crow and it's out of focus. Any ideas what type of bird this is?

OFT to probe prices. Honestly, we mean it this time.

2012-02-11T12:36:00.002Z

I've mentioned this a couple of times and also expressed my concerns that it wouldn't be an effective probe.

Well, the OFT has announced that it is investigating fuel prices here on the island. Again. They keep on announcing the fact that they're going to investigate fuel prices here but that's about it but this time they mean business! (Local news reports here and here).

But the probe isn't going to be what has been asked for - why are prices so high instead it's a general review of prices in remote communities (all rural communities - not just here, so if you live in Wales then it will also affect you).

To quote from the OFT:

"The OFT recognises that prices of many goods and services are frequently higher in remote communities, there can be fewer suppliers available, and access to key services such as shops, dentists, chemists, banks and public transport can be limited. Fuel prices are a common cause for concern for those who need to travel long distances to get to school, to work or to the shops. Whilst shopping online may expand opportunities for broader choice and quality, deliveries to more isolated areas can sometimes be problematic or costly.”

“The OFT will be seeking to explore these and other issues with communities and businesses in remote areas, with the aim of improving its, and others’, understanding of how consumer or competition law can help tackle them.”

In concept this is better but unless the OFT investigate the fuel supply chain from start to finish its unlikely to find out where the 10p to 20p difference per litre comes from - Scottish Fuels claims it only makes 2.5p per litre but someone in the supply chain is making money out of it - but an investigation that covers all aspects of excess charges for living in a rural community is to be welcomed if it delivers.

If you want to ask the OFT to investigate any issue that affects you and you live in a rural community why not write to them:

”Consumers and businesses wishing to contribute to the study are requested to send their views before 20 April to the OFT Office in Scotland, 23 Walker Street, Edinburgh EH3 7HX, fill in an online form available from.oft.gov.uk/remcom or email remotecommunities@oft.gsi.gov.uk."

There are going to be several workshops across the UK. Unfortunately, the OFT wont be holding a workshop in the Western Isles. They couldn't afford the petrol.

We shall fight them in the air. We shall fight them on the beaches. We shall fight them on the ferries. (And a little about Pots and Kettles.)

2012-02-10T17:17:00.002Z

I commented on the loss of RET for commercial vessels previously and the potential impact that this could have here.

Well, according to the BBC news the Scottish government should be afraid, very afraid as the "Western Isles rockets task force could reconvene". This is the group that fought against the loss of the ETV's, the closure of the Coastguard station, the closure of the Hebrides rocket range - all of which have been successful to varying degrees. Granted these have all been against the evil oppressors at Westminster - it's the first time that Alex Salmond has been in the firing line and as you know - the people of Lewis have successfully defeated the might of NATO so with the entire Western Isles against the Scottish Government victory is assured.

Being more serious. The RET issue is causing a large amount of flack at the moment and to cover myself I'm going to state that the statements here are observations and there may be factual inaccuracies, if there are any I am happy to post corrections.

One SNP candidate for the local council elections in May has pulled out due to the removal of RET. The labour party has criticised the decision to remove RET and the SNP have responded saying that Labour have never supported RET (which is a classic case of pot calling kettle black) but there could be a bit of a backlash for the SNP come the council elections in May.

I've heard that one of the reasons why commercial RET has been removed is due to the fact that when it was introduced the savings that hauliers were making was never passed on to the end customer which may or may not be true but could be a reason why it's been canned for commercial companies.

Of course, even though commercial RET is being abolished there are still talks going on about what will replace it for commercial vehicles - before RET there was a commercial discount scheme in place so something like that may re-emerge.

Although there's a lot of rhetoric going on at the moment it looks more like a posturing game from all sides and it'll be interesting to see what the final outcome actually is but with the "Western Isles Rockets Task Force" on the case I'd be worried to be on the receiving end of the firepower they can bring to bear.

Terror at 1,100 feet

2012-02-10T09:54:00.000Z

I recently commented on flying from Stornoway to t'mainland on a dinky little plane and how the pilot has to plead with the passengers to listen to the safety instructions. Well this example should illustrate why you need to listen to the steward.

If you cast your mind back to July I was posting a lot about NATO (and how the Lewis fishermen routed them).

Well it turns out that the brave individuals at Loganair also had their finest hour during the exercises.

During an approach to Stornoway Airport the dinky little SAAB was approached by two Tornadoes that were attacking the airport.

The plucky little pilot took evasive action (at which point the pilot shouted out "That's why you should listen to the bloody safety instructions! That'll teach you!") avoiding the evil RAF aircraft, dodged a couple of black hawk helicopters and made a safe landing to cheers, applause and a nice shiny medal from our glorious leader Angus Campbell.

The pilot is quoted as saying that the RAF jets got a "wee bit close". Since the Hebridean for Force 12 hurricane strength winds is a "wee bit windy" and for rain where you need a life jacket is a "wee bit wet" a "wee bit close" in Hebridean means that he could read the RAF pilot's dog tags.

So, hats off to the Lewis airforce and their defeat of the RAF!

As a final point, I'd like to list some of the headlines for this from the various news reports across the interwebs.

BBC News: RAF jet 'got a wee bit too close' to plane landing at Stornoway.

Scotsman: RAF blamed over airport ‘war games’ near miss.

The Daily Mail: Tiny passenger plane seconds from disaster after being 'attacked' by Tornado jets and Black Hawk helicopters in mock war game. Which doesn't mention anywhere in the article that attacks by Tornado jets can give you cancer.

And what of our local news? How have they covered this? What headlines and vitrol has been written about this near miss?

Stornoway Gazette: Flight in collision risk

Hebrides News: Passenger plane avoided collision risk with RAF jets.

Which shows the attitude here towards the event. That or we really need a Daily Mail headline writer here.

Closed Sunday Fashion Supplement: Hats.

2012-02-09T21:23:00.001Z

Unlike the Daily Mail, I've noticed that Closed Sunday is missing a fashion section and it's about time that this oversight is tackled head on. (It's also missing a celebrity news section as well but due to a distinct lack of supermodels, footballers, celebrity wives and big brother contestants on the island I'm afraid that this section will not be added anytime soon.)

Hats. If you're out and about on a Sunday in Stornoway you'll see a lot of older ladies looking resplendent in their Sunday best[1] topped off with a hat but they're not just a fashion accessory but more of a necessity for a couple of reasons.

The first is the fact that the wind means that umbrellas here are only suitable if you're intending to do a "Mary Poppins'", I brought a couple of umbrellas up here with me from Manchester and they've only been used to hang a hat on.

The second is the fact that the wind means your ears get very, very cold here. Dumbo would die from hypothermia in the Western Isles (although no-one would be surprised to see an elephant go flying here), I'm seriously considered asking for my ears to be pinned back on the NHS here as it's dangerous having large ears here, catch the wind wrong and you can take off.

As such, hats are worn by a lot of people and not just on Sunday.

So, I've been buying hats recently. The most recent purchase is a Harris Tweed deerstalker which has a number of features that are vital in head wear for the Isle of Lewis.

The first is the flaps that you can drop to cover your ears which not only serve to keep your ears warm but also drown out the incessant noise of geese honking all night long.

The second is the natty little tie which not only can be used to tie the flaps up when it's not windy[2] but can also secure the hat to your head which is a vital feature in a force 9 gale.

Of course what I really want for Christmas is a Breton Bonnet Spirit Hood as not only will it keep my ears warm but has ears of its own but I don't think I'll wear it to church on a Sunday.

[1] Back on t'mainland you noticed that most people didn't bother getting dressed up for church, here everyone seems to get smartly dressed before heading off out.
[2] So they're never tied up.

This is a local shop for local people, there's nothing for you here!

2012-02-07T21:11:00.000Z

Not any more it seems. According to the local news Stornoway Cruise Group is organising a "Welcome Scheme" to entice cruise visitors to spend more ~~money~~ time on the island.

So visitors are now welcomed on the Isle of Lewis. Which is a shame as I was planning a pitchfork and flaming torch shop in the town centre. Back to the drawing board.

Although Stornoway is a small town some of the best shops are hidden out of the way and it's easy to pass them by (and some of the best shops for gifts don't have "gift" anywhere in the name) - although there are quite a few tourists here the town has never really become "touristy" if you know what I mean even though there's some good stuff available if you know where to look.

It's a good idea - there's quite a few cruise ships that pop into town during summer and you can often see coaches full of tourists being ferried to the various sites across the island (never go to Callanish when there's a cruise ship in port) but due to the limited amount of time they've got here it's difficult for them to know where to buy ~~cheap tat~~ cherished mementos of their time here in Lewis and anything that helps sales of local goods is good news.

Daily-Mail Mode On: Coming over here taking our jobs. Is nothing sacred?

2012-02-07T19:55:00.000Z

In a video that is going to send waves through the community here on Lewis here is conclusive evidence that Europe is interfering with time-honoured traditions which will lead to mass unemployment amongst one group on the island.

Farpaisean Chon-chaorach will never be the same.