Too CynThia

The Truth About Chemotherapy

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Ruccia) — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 10:45:00 +0000

Happy 2011 everyone!!!! I hope that this year brings fabulous things into all of our lives, and I'm dreaming of "molte belle cose" as they say in Italian, for all of our aspirations for women'e equality and women's parity. "Molte belle cose" is a sweetly nuanced expression, my favorite meaning of which is "lots of pretty things." A fresh new year lies ahead for all of us-------we'll see what will unfold for our cause!!!

I have chemotherapy as my companion in 2011. Before I am done, I will have had 26 chemotherapy sessions, and six surgeries, and if all goes well, it will all be in my rearview mirror by the beginning of December, 2011. I have had two of the six surgeries including the largest and most involved, the mastectomy. I've also had two of the chemotherapy sessions. So-----2 down, 24 to go.

I've not written about the chemotherapy yet because as much as I would wish otherwise, chemo has required more out of me than I would like. Having a second bout of breast cancer has also demanded that I get my head together fast. The truth is that my first cancer was what they call DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ), stage 0. I was diagnosed while my husband was fighting for his life with late stage lymphoma (he made it and is doing great!!!), and the gravity of my situation was so small next to his that I sailed through what I needed to do almost as if I wasn't there and it wasn't happening to me. The treatment for DCIS was either mastectomy or lumpectomy and radiation. Period. No chemo. I had the mastectomy and breast reconstruction and it was over before I could even think about it too much.

This second bout with breast cancer is not considered a recurrence. It is considered a new primary cancer. That distinction alone makes this breast cancer more survivable. It is a relatively rare variety that comprises about 3% of breast cancers called invasive mucinous carcinoma, stage 2, which has not metasticized. It's a rather slow-growing cancer, and with the proper treatment, the prognosis is excellent that I will live a normal lifespan. For those of you who are familiar with such things, my receptors are estrogen positive and my her2nu is also positive. These positive indicators used to be a big problem but with the advances in treatment regimens, these positives are actually a great thing. My doctors have told me that they breathe a sigh of relief when these positive signs come up in the tissue reports because they know that the outcome for these cases is rosy with the current treatments.

Since I can't go through the explanation every time, I (and I'm certain everyone else who's dealing with cancer) have become a screen for people to project their feelings about cancer upon. They can't help themselves and they all mean well, and I appreciate their love and support. However, when it comes to chemotherapy, my main modus operandus going forward has to be "mind over matter."

Let me explain---------sure the chemo is full of physical challenges. However for me, it is the mental challenges that I must conquer in order to get through it all. I don't know if it is my little quirk or that others share this quality, but I seem to take on the symptoms of every chemo story people want to pass along to me. I also have my own memories. I watched my mother die of a brain tumor, a glioblastoma----the same type that Teddy Kennedy died of. I watched my second father die of lymphoma, and I watched his sister, my beloved aunt, also die of a glioblastoma brain tumor. It's a hard thing to watch someone you love go this way because the cancer just sucks your life right out of you.

I am of the generation whose main imprint with cancer is that it will kill you and the treatment, the chemotherapy, will take you within an inch of your life. Why? Because in our lifetime, for many years, that was the way it was. People became very very sick on chemo----skeletal, dark dark circles under the eyes, constantly nauseated, looking like a concentration camp victim. And the chemo usually was a last ditch effort that may prolong your life a little, but you probably weren't going to survive anyways. Pretty harsh bleak stuff.

We live in a different age now. The chemos are much better and the drugs for the ugly side effects are effective. So many more people survive many cancers that there is a sizeable population walking around who go on to live a regular life. I'll likely be one of those. I've gotten lucky with my second breast cancer.

But I'm still a magnet for lots of horror stories of dead relatives, or people who suffered mightily with chemo. I've been told that I'll be rendered "flat on my ass" by chemo or that I won't be able to do lots of things I love doing (like exercising----more on that later), or that I will feel like total crap and look even worse through it all. That I will have no energy, that the steroids will turn me into a homicidal maniac or that the steroids will make me as fat as a barn because I will not be able to control my eating, or the steroids will keep me up at night and make me jittery. I've also been told that I will puke all of the time for at least 3--4 days after each treatment, I will get uncontrolled mouth sores, bad ugly patches of skin sores all over my body, blah, blah. There's even an anonymous commenter who regularly comes on to this blog who tells me to a stop chemo immediately because I am being poisoned and that the chemo will kill me. And then I get the stories from well-meaning people who had a loved one go through what I am going through who ended up dying anyways.

It's a heavy load to place on someone trying to cope with her own chemo experience. For me, I've decided that I want to make the most of every single day----even the ones where chemo gives me challenges. I have quite the ornery streak, and I want to prove all of the naysayers wrong. I refuse to be flat on my ass and to stop doing the things I love. I don't care how I'm feeling----everything feels better doing the things you love.

So here's my truth about my chemo. I'm halfway through phase 1, the phase I'm told is the most difficult. I've done two out of 4 treatments of cytoxin and adriamycin. I've taken the steroids and the anti-nausea meds. I do this every two weeks. It hasn't been as bad as I'd feared, but it is challenging. I've not missed a single day of exercise----woo hoo!!! I've been able to exercise 2--3 hours every day. I'm still running swimming and biking and doing my elliptical. Even if I feel crappy, I feel much better working out. I've had to adjust. I'm only running on my treadmill so that if I need to stop, I'm at home and not two miles away. Even on my worst days, I've still managed to run 2 and a half miles. In the pool for the first week at least, I'm not doing crawl because it makes me a little seasick. I still sleep on a waterbed, and for at least the first week, I can't because the motion makes my stomach queasy. I'm sleeping on my big sectional couch with my husband those days. These compromises aren't really a big deal. The worst part so far of the chemo for me is coming down off the steroids. The steroids actually make feel pretty good-----not jittery or hungry. But as we taper me off, I get a strange feeling for about a day and a half like I'm out of my body.

Since my emotions can feel all over the place as a result of all of those chemo drugs, I've discovered that it is important for me to stay around positive people and stay connected to positive people. I also need lots of love, kind of like a puppy needs lots of love, so the universe has found its way to connect me with lots of those kinds of people as well. They were probably there all along, I just never noticed. And all of the good wishes of everyone who reads this blog have meant the world to me.

I try to get out of the house as much as possible every single day because being out in the world makes me feel more like myself, and interestingly, I'm really not as tired from the chemo as I expected to be. My doctor, the incredible Dr. Maryam Lustberg, and the chemo staff keep me going by constantly reassuring me and treating me like a normal person. Bottom line----I don't want to do chemo. Who would? But on the other hand, I must do it if I'm to meet my grandchildren, run a marathon, train for and do a half ironman, have my Mary Kay group reach the $1 million mark, and be part of our army of women and men who will help our country navigate its way to female parity. So on to chemo I go----as cheerfully as possible. There's so much more living to do, and chemo is my key to a long life. Every day counts-----even the chemo days!!!!

Tales of Hairlessness and Fun

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Ruccia) — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 10:08:00 +0000

I haven't been writing in depth for my breast cancer chronicles because the realities of this phase have taken a little time for me to put my brain and arms around. Let me just start out by saying that the very very very best antidote to this stage is getting out of the house, having fun, exercising, surrounding myself with positive, uplifting people, and taking in the love that the many folks who care about me are offering so abundantly and selflessly. The glass is absolutely half full!!

Startling as well is that this stage offers up the opportunity to reinvent where I want my life to go. Of course all of us always have this option, but we get so stuck in our ways sometimes that we forget that we can change course at any time. An intimate brush with your own mortality is rife with opportunities to prod you on to live the life you have always wanted to live.

That said, let's get down to the real stuff----hair!!!! Let me make this perfectly clear-------losing your hair is very different than planning to lose one's hair. With great bravado I have put up post after post about how it was going to be when my purple tinged locks fell out. Although I got some of it right------it has played out a little differently than I thought. I didn't realize how deeply attached to my hair I was. I knew that Christmas Day would be one of my first days with no hair. After my second chemo session on Tuesday, December 21, my hair started to come out in my hands in clumps. I knew I would have to shave my head because I didn't want hair all over the house, hair clogging up my drains (and as luck would have it my drains clogged up and backed up in the laundry room on Christmas Day anyways) and I didn't want to see my hair floating around in the swimming pool because it had slipped off my head while doing laps.

My husband, Nick, had lymphoma a few years back, and when he was at this juncture, I shaved his head. So he and I deliberated the best time for my date with the razor, and on Wednesday evening, we decided that the time had come. While he laid down newspapers on the kitchen floor and gathered the clippers and razors, I had a good cry, bawling like a baby because I didn't want to lose my hair. So with mascara rolling down my cheeks and with swollen red eyes, the shaving began. My husband is an engineer, and he is very very precise in all that he does. I love this quality about him because he is so in earnest about giving his best efforts always, and my head shaving was no exception. He kept insisting that "you look so cute!!!" as he hacked away and shaved away. He cut first with the scissors, then he cut with the clippers, and then he took an electric razor and shaved, and then we did the shaving cream and straight razor route. My head had been lovingly denuded. But let's get something straight here------I am NOT a cute bald person. I look like an old unlovely egg with a dent in my head, a souvenir from a rollickingly fun time my brother and I had throwing trucks at each other when we were 4 and 6 and one of those metal trucks accidentally landed on my head and banged it open.

The thing is, once bald, you have to develop a whole new set of habits to cope with the logistics of baldness. You actually have to think about such things as washing and moisturizing your scalp, wearing something on your head to keep from getting cold or hot, whether to put the wig on before or after doing your makeup, the techniques of how to put the wig on so it will look nice and not like you grabbed your floor mop and put it on your head. You also have the new sensations of wigs feeling uncomfortable and the whole new identity of an entirely new hairdo. Think of it----unless you are Hillary Clinton who loves changing your 'do on a regular basis, you probably keep your hair the same all of the time. With baldness and wigs, you have a new 'do whether you want it or not, and it can be a little jarring to your sense of self.

I have discovered that it is absolute HEAVEN working out bald!! It is so much cooler and I don't sweat as much nor do I have to contend with pushing sweaty hair off my face. I may look like an unlovely egg, but I am a cool and comfortable egg. Woo hoo!!!! The logistics of wigs, swimming, and the locker room also has required a rethink. How was I going to navigate that? I didn't want to embarrass anyone with my baldness, nor did I want to be stared at or pitied. But there is no way I can get into the pool without taking the wig off and putting the bathing cap on. So I just decided what the heck, I'll just take it off once I've got my bathing suit on and my makeup off, hang it in the locker with my jacket, and slip the bathing cap on. At least I don't have to put any cream rinse on my hair to protect it from the chlorine. I can now just walk into the pool and jump right in. At any rate, I think I might be inspiring people. They can look at me getting ready to swim with no hair on my head, assume I have cancer, and then tell themselves that what's their excuse? If she (me) can work out at a time like this than they can too without such an excuse holding them back. After the swim, it's the reverse. I take a shower (don't have to wash my hair!!!), wrap my head in a towel, dry off, get dressed, and then I take the wig off the hook, go to the mirror, remove the towel, and yank that thing on my head. One thing is for sure, I look like a mop until I can comb the wig into some kind of order. It's more unruly than my hair was, but it's just another adjustment I'm having to make.

Although my wig clearly looks different to me, it doesn't seem to be getting the same reaction from friends and strangers. I look in the mirror and I'm not sure I like what I see. It's different, and I really was quite satisfied with my previous style. The people who know me tell me it really looks almost like my real hair and they can't tell the difference other than it looks like I've combed it out a little differently. That makes me feel good. My body having been invaded by surgery and chemo doesn't feel like mine, and if I don't have to look so different, it's a big plus. But the best moment came the day after Christmas as I entered the locker room at the gym. Someone came in who I had never met and she said to me, "I love your hair!!! How do you get it that way?" That is the exact same reaction I always get to my normal hair because of the purple streaks!!!! A wave of relief swept over me------maybe this wasn't going to be so bad after all.

I do need to give a huge shout out to my hairdresser Jeff Stuckey who labored mightily to make me a wig with purple streaks. It's not a standard issue wig, and he needed to reinvent the wheel to get it right. When I got that compliment at the gym, I told the person my whole story. Next time I'm just going to give the same standard issue response I always give------my hairdresser does it!!!!

I went up to Hope's Boutique yesterday. It's a store specializing in paraphernalia for women going through breast cancer treatments, a head shop for bald heads. I had been really really cocky about how I WASN'T going to be wearing any scarves, hats, or turbans, thank you very much. I just thought that whole idea was, well, stupid. I was just going to wear my wigs 24/7. Well, that idea turned out to be the height of stupidity itself. You see, the wig gets uncomfortable. It can dig into your scalp after awhile, and I find that when I get home, all I want to do is yank it off my head. However, I can't stand the way I look bald, and even though Nick thinks I'm cute hairless, who knows how long that will last? I need to feel attractive, so I tried on tons of hats, scarves, turbans, and other creative and comfortable headpieces. There were other women up there, bald as me, doing the same thing. It was fun!!!! I got 4 very cool wraps for my head, comfortable and chic as can be, and they were 40% off in the after Christmas sale.

Now I'm just waiting for the hair to fall off my legs so I won't have to shave again for a long time!!! You gotta have fun------ya know? Oh, and P.S.-----I'm just about done with my fills and I have a matching set of boobs again!!! Happy New Year everyone!!!!

Wishes and Dreams for The New Year

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Ruccia) — Sun, 26 Dec 2010 05:29:00 +0000

Well, we're about to turn the page on another year. Shocking how time flies!!! At 58 years old, I'm tuning into that old joke that says life is like a roll of toilet paper----------the closer you get to the end, the quicker it goes. Seems like yesterday we were getting used to writing 2010. Now it's on to 2011.

First of all, my fondest wish is for health and happiness for all in the new year. Both are things that we take for granted at our own peril. Happiness can be fleeting and good health should be a birthright. Both require care and nurturing. We need everyone on board to continue our quest to eliminate sexism, so be good to yourself in 2011 so we can live to fight another day.

Second, I fervently pray that in 2011 we will see women ascend to the top in proportional numbers-----running 50% of everything. This goal has eluded us in such spectacular fashion that people have forgotten to even check out the veracity of the claim. Somehow we got into a mindset celebrating the progress we had made, only to forget to observe what we hadn't achieved. If we have accomplished anything since Hillary Clinton ran for president, it is that awareness that we still have a very long way to go in spite of all of our gains.

Third, I dream and hope that women will uncouple themselves from party ideology enough to see if that particular ideology is serving our goals of equality. It is a worthy debate that has barely begun on both sides of the aisle, and it would behoove us to sharpen our focus in that regard.

Fourth, I have a vision that women will stop their sexism towards one another and that we will work harder to uplift each other as we finish our work toward the goal of parity. Many times we are our own worst enemy, and as a result we have been a house divided stopping our progress dead in its tracks. We can and must do better.

Fifth, I hope we will rise up in 2011 as one voice condemning sexism in the media. We must remain vigilant in that regard because speech DOES matter. It is an exhausting task because evidence of media sexism is a daily grind. Success is not guaranteed. But if we do nothing, we will fail spectacularly, so doing nothing is simply not an option.

Sixth, I hope each and every one of us NEVER lets a single example of sexism that we run into in our daily lives pass without comment. You never know the positive ramifications when pointing out to someone that what they said was offensive and how that can impact countless other people.

Seventh, I hope that each and every one of us realizes how powerful our voices are singly and together, and that we never ever give up working toward parity and eliminating sexism no matter how hard and no matter how elusive the goal. Even though we haven't arrived yet, we must keep giving it our best. One of these days we will succeed. Sure we get tired, and we can even take a minute to rest and recharge. But if we give up, we lose. Who knows? It may be the very next effort that will be the one to make the big breakthrough.

Eighth, in 2011, I hope we see the list of female presidential contenders grow as long as the male presidential contenders. We have not accustomed ourselves in the United States to seeing women at the top. The symbolic gesture of lots of qualified women running for president will expand our horizons quicker than anything else.

On a personal level, I hope to be done with my breast cancer chronicles in 2011. It has been a long haul so far. I am very very lucky that I am not fighting for my life and that we caught it early. But the surgeries, procedures, and chemotherapy that are my insurance policy are hard and long and I wish they were finished. Get your mammograms and do your self-exams. I've had breast cancer twice and one was discovered by mammogram and the other by self-exam. It's a small thing to do to give you a long and happy life.

I hope you will add to my wish list in your comments. We need to think big and dream big to accomplish big things. Indulge yourself in some creative wish listing and let's look forward to lots of victories and big splashes in 2011!!!!!!!!!!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Thia) — Fri, 24 Dec 2010 22:03:00 +0000

And just for the cute factor...

Awwww...

MENTAL FOG AND THE THREE ANGSTS

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Ruccia) — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 10:39:00 +0000

I've been feeling guilty not writing anything for over two weeks. I can't really pinpoint why, but there are three good reasons all contributing to my pity party and writer's block. My pity party------it just sounds so pathetic to me like being a melodramatic woman with vapors collapsing on her victorian daybed unable to rise. But what the heck-----I'm no superwoman, nor am I anything approaching perfect, and if I want to indulge myself in weakness and self pity, well, it's my party and I'll cry if I want to.

Funny thing being overwhelmed with life. The human spirit just can't stay down long-------there is so much beauty in life. Every day beauty can be so rich it can just sustain you------things like the beauty of the snow, how it just makes everything majestic (even the trash cans as my friend Alessandro likes to put it), the gorgeous holiday light displays everywhere you look, the kindness of people you love and also the kindness of strangers.

There are many angels out there for those who have cancer, people who don't know you, but walk into your life and know exactly the right things to say to you to ease your journey. Then there are the people in your life who show you the depths of their friendships and love for you-----your safe harbors. And the family members who step up and just love you with all of their hearts. My childhood was tough (a source of angst for me at this time of year), and my mother told me day after day what an awful person I was and how no one would ever like me. And when it turned out that I always made friends---lots of them, she told me that my friends were awful----that I never could pick the "good people" just rotten people who were not welcome at our home. Eventually, no one wanted to be friends with me-----because we lived in a fancy house, everyone concluded that I was just a snob. I bring this up not to indulge in the pity party "poor little old me" aspect of this but to look in true amazement at how many people I have in my life who I can call friends. Cancer shows you who your friends are, and I am blessed every single day for the friends I have. Close friends, new friends, friends who touch my lives every time I see them. Friends I can pour my heart out to and vice versa. I even have a number of very best friends-----maybe 10 of them, amiche de cuore (friends of the heart) as they say in Italian----friends of the heart with whom I feel safe to say just anything at all. So for whatever reason my mother needed to treat me this way, she was wrong. I have lots of friends, and I love them and they love me. This realization is another blessing.

Angst #1:

The REAL reason I'm so miserable at this time of year, and it's not because I am Jewish and don't really celebrate Christmas. This is deep, but here we go. I lost my father when I was two in 1954 on Halloween. He vomited up blood right in front of me and bled out and died at age 31. He was taken away by ambulance to the hospital where he really died, and I never saw him again. Back then, everyone figured that a two year old wouldn't ever remember anything like that because they were too young so no one paid any attention to me. In reality I was in shock, a real case of post traumatic stress. Two years old is a little young to face the realities of death. Then I was grieving mightily for the loss of my daddy, but no one paid me any mind. After all, two year olds can't really talk. So in my two year old way (screaming and tantrums) I tried to express my trauma and no one made the connection that I was sad and scared so I was labelled a child with an extremely difficult temperament, a difficult child, an assessment that stuck with me all through my childhood and beyond. As a two year old going through the holiday season alone being traumatized, grieving my loss, and all that went with it, it just became too much and I ended up repressing the whole thing.

Well, when you repress, you never really put the thing totally away. Parts of it leach out and affect you all of the time. So, a few years ago when my husband was facing a very serious case of lymphoma, all of my defenses from this repression started breaking down (husband pulled through it and is doing great!!!!). Last year for the first time I grieved my father's death in real time. It took 55 years to be able to do it, but I was able to let it out. That was the main reason I was always so unhappy during the holiday season!! Amazing!! This year it started up all over again with the new component of fury at my mother for ignoring me and making me feel like I wasn't there and her meanness to me and how she colored and poisoned all of my relationships, friends and family. Whooooo-----I must tell you that I didn't know I had this fury in me. I'm releasing it and it sure feels great!!! Yes it is now 56 years later, but to my everlasting relief, I am glad to free myself of it. I am still grieving, but this year on Christmas Day, my husband and I are setting some time aside to start memoralizing my father.Everyone might have forgotten him, but I haven't, and I feel like for the first time in all of these years he will finally be with me if only in a memorial. Now I call that some healing, and I am grateful to have found it.

And I must say that much of what turned my mother into what she was towards me I see as a result of the vastly fewer choices she felt she had in the world due to women's disempowerment. I'm sure we can all relate to that one.

Angst #2:

Of course it is the breast cancer and the treatments. YUCK!! Given a choice, I wouldn't be doing this. HOWEVER, although it is challenging, it is nowhere near as bad as I had feared. I've had two chemo treatments now, and although it is challenging at times, it hasn't really cut into my life so much. I'm halfway through the most difficult of the chemo phases, and I'm happy to say that I've not missed a single day of exercise. I've seen first hand that no matter how yucky I might be feeling, the exercise endorphins are a real bonus to feeling good!! Most days I have done 2--3 hours a day, and I even got a 4-hour day in. I've been running, biking, swimming, elliptical, and some strength training and stretching. When you run in long races like I've done or you workout regularly, you learn to push through some physical unpleasantness to get to the other side of it, and you do it daily. It is this habit of just pushing through it "gutting it out" as the jocks like to call it, has been the single most important habit I have acquired to help me cope with the chemo. So far with the second treatment, I'm feeling better than the first because I know a little more what to expect.

My hair is finally starting to fall out in clumps. With much bravado I have acquired two wigs with purple highlights, one of which is in a style that no one will recognize me in at first. I've even gotten some false eyelashes cause I'm told I'll lose those too. I have not felt sad for one minute losing my breast. Over time, I've gotten my weekly fills, and my new young perky boobs are looking like something wonderful. I never have to wear a bra again, and I'm loving it!!!! But the reality of going bald and having to wear a wig is making me grieve for my hair. Yes it will grow back again, but I will be without it for at least 6--9 more months. Sometime today or tomorrow, my head will be shaved, and I will have to adjust to seeing myself this new way. Why cutting off a breast is cause for celebration and cutting off my hair feels like disfigurement makes absolutely no sense, but there you have it. Logic and emotion fight constantly for supremacy.

Angst #3

Out of respect for my son's feelings, I won't go into huge depth on this one. My older child has been battering me for my political stance from the 2008 election and has escalated a war with me that he can't seem to abandon. His fiance has joined in in bashing me. I have become the worst person in the world to them, a position that they don't hesitate to share with me whenever possible. This son and I had the closest of relationships for 25 years, and now he doesn't return my phone calls most of the time and spends his time trying to convince me of the idiocy of my ways. Most of it is the usual blowback we have gotten from lefty intolerant bigots, but when it is your own son and future daughter in law skewering you, putting you in the stockades, and nailing you to the cross with glee, it is a bitter pill to swallow. There has barely been a ceasefire through this breast cancer time in my life. And there has been zero compassion for my psychological journey in "angst #1." SO-----I am mightily grieving the loss of my son who I have loved with all of my heart. Who knows how it will all end up? But with the heaviest of hearts, I am trying to move on and build my life beyond him. But it just compounds the sadness

of the season for me.

A great joy is coming from my younger son however. He is marrying the perfect girl-----they so love each other, and they completely uplift each other and bring out the absolute best in each other.They're getting married in March and everything with them is just love, joy, inclusion, fun, and light. We adore her big huge family as well------they have taken us in as one of their own. I feel like the mother of the bride is already like a sister, and we're going to just multiply that love as we share the grandchildren who will surely arrive in the future. My future daughter in law never misses a moment to tell me she loves me, and it just warms my heart as it is going through a tough time. I love you too Bridget!!!!

So toocynthia friends and family, I've been wrestling with my angsts and I guess I needed to write a little about them. I am sure many of you have your own struggles and angsts and more. I hope in some small way by sharing these private things with you that it can help you shed some light on your own stuff. At the very least, you are NOT alone if you are struggling with things at this time of year. I am learning to find some joy. And a part of my joy are all of you here who have so beautifully and authentically shared some of yourselves with Thia and me on this blog.

Please know that once things start up in the new year, we will be back with ours and your biting commentary on the continuing fight for bringing people together to solve sexism once and for all. It may seem like an impossible, futile battle, but it will NEVER be won if we just shut up and take it. I keep remembering the words of Margaret Mead who said that the only thing that causes human progress is a small group of committed people fighting for what they believe. She said that it is the only thing that has ever worked.

Happy Holidays-----let's make the most of it!!!! And pray for the children of Elizabeth Edwards as they navigate this first Christmas without their mother.....

All Female U.S. Marines Battalion

noreply@blogger.com (Thia) — Tue, 14 Dec 2010 22:40:00 +0000

Meet some of the Members of the All-Female U.S. Marines Battalion

Photos by Paula Bronstein/Getty Images

Sergeant Sheena Adams (R) US Marine with the FET (Female Engagement Team) 1st Battalion 8th Marines, Regimental Combat team II comforts an Afghan translator(L) who was crying after hearing about the death of a fellow marine on November 16, 2010 in Musa Qala, Afghanistan.

US Marines with the FET (Female Engagement Team) 1st Battalion 8th Marines, Regimental Combat team II on patrol on November 25, 2010 in Musa Qala, Afghanistan.

Sergeant Sheena Adams, a soldier in the 1st Battalion 8th Marines, Regimental Combat team II blows bubbles with Afghan boys surrounding her while on patrol on November 21, 2010 in Musa Qala, Afghanistan.

Sergeant Sheena Adams, U.S. Marine with the 1st Battalion 8th Marines, Regimental Combat team II works late into the night on her laptop on her reports on November 12, 2010 in Musa Qala, Afghanistan.

Hospital Corpsman Shannon Crowley, 22, US Marine with the FET (Female Engagement Team) 1st Battalion 8th Marines, Regimental Combat team II walks out of the shower tent on November 17, 2010 in Musa Qala, Afghanistan. With 269 male marines and 3 females living at a small outpost the females have only one hour a day (30 minutes in the morning and 30 in the afternoon) to shower.

(L-R) Sergeant Sheena Adams, 25, and Lance Corporal Kristi Baker, 21, and Hospital Corpsman Shannon Crowley, 22, US Marines with the FET (Female EngagementTeam) 1st Battalion 8th Marines, Regimental Combat team II pose at their forward operating base on November 17, 2010 in Musa Qala, Afghanistan.

Lance Corporal Luz Lopez, 21, a US Marine with the FET (Female Engagement Team) 1st Battalion 8th Marines, Regimental Combat team II plays with Afghan babies during a village medical outreach on November 23, 2010 in Boldoc, in Helmand province, Afghanistan.

Lance Corporal Luz Lopez (L) and Riane Donoho, 21 (R) take a rest during a village medical outreach on November 23, 2010 in Boldoc, in Helmand province, Afghanistan.

Lance Corporal Kristi Baker, 21, US Marine with the FET (Female Engagement Team) 1st Battalion 8th Marines, Regimental Combat team II combs her hair after a shower inside her dormitory room November 12, 2010 in Musa Qala, Afghanistan.

Lance Corporal Kristi Baker, with the Female Engagement Team 1st Battalion 8th Marines, Regimental Combat team II hangs out in the barracks working on her laptop on November 12, 2010 in Musa Qala, Afghanistan.

Master Sergeant Cherelle Peters-Williams, US Marine with the FET (Female Engagement Team) 1st Battalion 8th Marines, Regimental Combat team II gives out some shampoo as Afghan children grab for the goodies during a village medical outreach on November 23, 2010 in Boldoc, in Helmand province, Afghanistan.

Hospital Corpsman Amy Housley, 29, US Marine with the FET (Female Engagement Team) 1st Battalion 8th Marines, Regimental Combat team II checks the heartbeat of a sick child during a village medical outreach on November 23, 2010 in Boldoc, in Helmand province, Afghanistan.

Hospital Corpsman Shannon Crowley, a soldier with the FET (Female Engagement Team) 1st Battalion 8th Marines, Regimental Combat team II patrols in the bazaar as an Afghan man rides by watching November 15, 2010 in Musa Qala, Afghanistan.

Corporal Catherine Broussard, 22, a US Marine with the FET (Female Engagement Team) 1st Battalion 8th Marines, Regimental Combat team II tries to communicate with some Afghan girls during a village medical outreach on November 23, 2010 in Boldoc, in Helmand province, Afghanistan.

Lance Corporal Luz Lopez, 21, a US Marine with the FET (Female Engagement Team) 1st Battalion 8th Marines, Regimental Combat team II plays with an Afghan baby during a village medical outreach on November 23, 2010 in Boldoc, in Helmand province, Afghanistan.

There are 48 women presently working along the volatile front lines of the war in Afghanistan deployed as the second Female Engagement team participating in a more active role, gaining access where men can't. The women, many who volunteer for the 6.5 month deployment take a 10 week course at Camp Pendleton in California where they are trained for any possible situation, including learning Afghan customs and basic Pashtun language.

Getting Chemo Hovering Under The Sad Cloud of Elizabeth Edwards

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Ruccia) — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 12:44:00 +0000

I have survived my first chemotherapy session-----yes!!!! It wasn't nearly as awful as I had feared, but it wasn't was as simple as I had hoped. The cloud of Elizabeth Edward's impending death (which actually happened while I was entering the treatment suite) was everywhere. I was in a room full of women facing a tough life challenge, all of us wondering if Elizabeth's fate would be ours. And way beyond our own possible demises from our own cancers, would we be able to face it like Elizabeth Edwards with such a brave, transcendence, with her down home honesty, in the face of some other terrible life challenges , ones most of us would consider our worst nightmare? Who among us could be in the glare of the public eye while finding a lump during a contentious Presidential campaign so close that the announcement of a VP candidates spouse's breast lump would become political football? And we all know where that ugly story ended up.

I met Elizabeth Edwards during that time. This being Ohio, the presidential candidates are constantly here, and Elizabeth travelled everywhere stumping for her husband. I was invited to a small women's event at the (now defunct---but then very popular) Bexley Monk, a place where local power brokers would dine, and where Elizabeth Edwards would host a coffee. I was lucky that day because it was one of the first really warm spring days, and although the attendance at the all-woman event was good, I had the chance to speak to Elizabeth for awhile. I found her to be such a mensch, as we say in Yiddish. She was just a really good, smart,down-to-earth person with the most beautiful smile and gorgeous blue eyes, eyes that just captivated. And charisma----she was blessed with charisma. She had us all hanging on her every word. She was in turn brilliant, down home, casual, made you feel that she was interested in you, and one of the finest speakers I'd ever seen in shilling for her husband. I believe she elevated who he was, and as a political couple, at that pre-cancer and pre-Rielle Hunter time, they were a very, very formidable couple. You got a sense that their mission was tied into the memory of their dead son and not in just expedient ways to win sympathy, but also as a mission to set their hearts right. It was heady stuff.

I was able to have a word alone with her. Her daughter, Kate, and my son, Daniel, were both attending Princeton at that time. We engaged in typical proud mother chat of our brilliant children and I just liked her. Just like that. She reminded me of my mentor Mary Kay Ash who was able to make everyone who talked to her feel as if they were the most important person to them in the room. But mostly, I remembered that she spoke with me just like I was her new BFF. And I left her after that encounter with a lasting memory of her graciousness.

Like most, I was shocked to hear the news stories of her impending death. That they came into me the night before my first chemo put a pall over the whole thing and tore into shreds the courage I was amassing for my next challenge along my cancer journey (did I ever say how much I dislike that sanguine expression?------suggestions please!!!!).

So yesterday, Tuesday, my husband Nick and I trudged up to our date with chemo at Dr. Lustberg's office a half an hour away. I LOVE LOVE LOVE her and her staff. They make this whole sordid affair a peck of fun and warm fuzzies. First of all, I have to get my blood drawn every time. I HATE GETTING MY BLOOD DRAWN------total wuss here. So when it was my turn for this ugly deed, I go into a room and the most fun lady is in there, around my age, with a pile of blonde hair on her head. She's bigger and taller than I am, and cheerful in just the right way. I told her she was giving the first test run to my new port in my chest. She took a look at it and explained that my healing was fabulous, no movement could hurt it at this point so------I can run again!!!!!! Woo hoo!!!! I was so relieved!! I still can't swim til next week, but that's only 6 more days. I can do that!! And I 'm running as soon as I get done with this post!!!! Also, the blood draw was a piece of cake----no sticking, nothing gross. I LOVE MY PORT!!!! And they attached a line to it in about 30 seconds, and I was hooked up for any iv fluids they had to throw at me.

Next up, some face time with Dr. Lustberg who had been answering questions about Elizabeth Edwards all day. She was ready with my questions talking about my cancer and Edward's cancer. Mine is a completely different cancer and curable, unlike Edward's which was already stage 4 when discovered. A small sigh of relief for me as my goal is to live to be 100. But pervasive sadness all the same because none of us was ready to lose Elizabeth Edwards and her indomitable, human spirit.

Finally, the chemo moment had arrived. Mike, the cute pharmacist, came in and spent a good while telling my everything I didn't want to know about the drugs that were about to be fed into my pristine body-----my well exercised, vegetarianed, well cared for body. I was about to inundate my drug-virgin body with steroids, anti-nausea potions, and then the double brew of cytoxan and adriamycin. One of them is bright red and I was told I'd be peeing orange koolaid for awhile. Since they had to run each one separately the first time to look out for allergic reactions,it took 3 and half hours for the entire thing. So in walks my next angel after Dr.Lustberg, her nurse Lea, my new BFF. Lea got to give me my first steroids ever, and once they hit--omg--------------I couldn't shut up!!! Lea just rolled with the punches and told me that people either get motor mouth or they get these emotional highs and lows crying and laughing and crying. Either way, she's heard alot about everything, and we shared info about our families. She'll be chemoing me for the next year, so we're going to be buddies for life, I can tell.

Between Dr. Lustberg, the oncologist, Denise Schimming at the surgeon's office, Chrissie who is filling my boob once a week (FYI----I've got two again!!!!) and does the meanest nipple tattoo in town, and Dr. Gail Gordillo, my plastic surgeon, I've got the rockingest women's squad of angels to navigate me through cancer, chemo,etc. I'll come out cancer free, gorgeous boobs, but best of all, I've got a new gang of friends who will have seen me at my worst and who will have decided I'm ok anyways. Now that's the definition of friend in my book.

Went home after the big day, wasn't hungry but forced myself to eat. Had a dull headache, slightly nauseous, I finally decided to take another pill for anti-nausea which did the trick. I played the piano for awhile during the wee hours, counted my many blessings, and went to bed knowing that I made it through the first chemo.

I'm getting ready now to workout!!! We'll see how much I'm going to do today, but FOR SURE running is on my menu!!!!

Godspeed Elizabeth Edwards........

Grinchy and Grumpy

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Ruccia) — Fri, 03 Dec 2010 10:28:00 +0000

I'm coming clean, coming out of the closet, and outing myself--------BAH HUMBUG!!!! I'm not a big fan of the sugarplum fairy. Thanksgiving is oppressive to me, all of this good cheer is like being in a sugar coma after eating too many sweets, and every year I breathe a sigh of relief when January rolls around and everything can get back to normal. I had a difficult childhood, and the bottom line for me is that the holidays make some very ugly memories surface with a vengeance. And every year I labor mightily to find the joy and banish my demons with new hope that finally it will be the year that I was successful. For all of you who love this time of year, I don't mean to rain on your parade. My life is what it is, and my annual ritual is already repeating itself for the 2010 cycle.

But I also know that I am far from alone in my grumpy tradition, so if any of you out there are like me-----solidarity forever and all of that stuff!!!! January 3 is one month off and counting----the day that business as usual will return!!

My energy level for politics is not only low, it seems to have gone on hiatus. I'm so happy that the election misogyny fest is over. Of course it will return in the new year. There are bitches to be slain and uppity women to be put in their places. There's the desperate primal urge to stop Sarah Palin dead in her tracks. And God help us all if Hillary Clinton comes around and gives the presidency another shot!!!! There will be Pollyannas all over the place declaring how far women have come and ignoring the evidence to the contrary. And of course there will be the army of people manipulated by the wedge issue of abortion like Pavlov's dogs, allowing themselves to be sidetracked with the faux feminist argument that this is the only thing that matters for women's advancement. And don't forget that we will also witness more women stepping on women's progress with lame excuses about what what constitutes women's progress, hiding their latent and not-so-latent misogyny behind bogus arguments. Sigh---there will be so much to do in 2011. I'm tired just thinking about it. Maybe a short holiday hiatus from it all isn't such a bad thing. Am I finally finding my inner holiday joy?

Maybe I am just grumpy because I had my port implanted into my chest on Tuesday and I can't swim until December 14 (and counting) and I may need to wait almost that long to run. The port experience was interesting. It is a surgical procedure so it had some gravitas, but it certainly was small compared to the mastectomy. I went to The Ohio State University Hospitals last Tuesday, November 30 at 10 a.m. My procedure was supposed to be at 11:30 a.m. but they didn't get around to it until 4:30 p.m. Imagine if I ran my business that way!!

I was my usual nervous wreck at the prospect of incisions into my neck and chest, having a foreign object inserted and threaded into a vein, being knocked out, getting local anesthesia, getting blood drawn. The fasting wasn't much fun either, and since my surgery was postponed so long, being hungry and thirsty became an issue. It took five stabs to find a vein for the IV. I suppose that Dr. Lustberg's insistence that I have this port was spot on since my crummy veins would be a real problem for the 26 + plus chemo sessions I will have with a blood draw at each one. OMG---I've found another thing to be grateful for!!!! Is the grinch being banished once and for all?

So I waited around the hospital for 8 and a half hours in all to complete a 20 minute procedure. I was awake for the surgery in a manner of speaking. The drugs they give you make you feel so incredibly fantastic you don't really care what they do to you!! I was wheeled into the recovery room, and the man in the bay next to mine was a criminal shackled to the bed with an armed guard. If he was feeling the way I was, he wouldn't have gotten too far even if he'd wanted to.

Finally my long-suffering husband who had been with me all day drove me home where I ate and drank to my heart's content (what's this-----more things to be grateful for?!!), and slept off the effects of the drugs. It's the wee hours on Friday morning, and I'm doing ok. I rode my bike machine for an hour and a half yesterday, showered, went to the doctor so they could do an echocardiogram, took a nap, and then awoke and got alot of stuff accomplished in my office.

As usual, no one knew when I could resume running, etc. after this procedure. I am a walking experiment. It just seems that few people can wrap their brain around exercising vigorously 3-4 hours daily. It is my habit to do so and my body is used to it. Most people hear that and they start choking and gagging at the thought of it, and that includes medical personnel. The only people who get it are serious athletes, and I find it hilarious that I am lumped together into this cohort. Me----the 58 year old who was a couch potato for 50 of those years!!!! Whatever. I am so grateful to my chemo doc, Dr. Miryam Lustberg, who has taken upon herself to meet with my fabulous sports doc, Dr. Best, current President of The American College of Sports Medicine, to find a way to bridge the knowledge gap. I'm not the only patient who is looking for answers.

If you want to gag, here's a typical day of exercise for me: upon getting up in the morning, I spend an hour on my elliptical machine, breaking it up at regular intervals to do 600 stomach crunches, 150 at a time. I normally run every other day. Last Sunday, for instance,I did a seven-mile run, not super long run for people who are endurance athletes, but it was my longest run since the mastectomy and it felt great!!! I love running in the cold weather, the colder the better. It was around 27 degrees when I got out the door, and by the time I was finished, I had shed my gloves, hat, and had unzipped my jacket. I was drenched in sweat by the time I got home. Upon returning home, I immediately got on my bike machine for about 50 minutes to work out the kinks in my legs from running. After that, I did about 10 minutes of stretching to keep my legs from getting sore, ate some breakfast, and then my husband and I headed for the pool where we both swam a couple of miles (128 lengths in a 25 meter pool). This gets repeated most days. I run shorter and longer distances on days when I run to break it up, and on days when I'm not running, I do a little more biking. I realize how ridiculous my routine sounds to most people-----it would have sounded ridiculous to me 10 years ago. But the truth is that I had no idea what I was capable of until I started out very slowly at age 51 just walking. One thing just lead to another and here I am. I am miserable if I can't work out-----it is my drug of choice!!!!

Chemo starts on Tuesday and honestly I just want to get going with it. I'm tired of thinking about it. And I am terrified, but I must do it and I will, and I WILL get through it. I will keep all of you posted as usual....

It is just so much work being scroogy and grinchy...............I guess I am a poseur. As you can see, I have much to be grateful for!!!!! :+)

Boehner to Create Women's Restroom Adjacent to House Floor

noreply@blogger.com (Thia) — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 19:36:00 +0000

From The Hill, by Molly K. Hooper.

Boehner to Create Women's Restroom Adjacent to House Floor

Speaker-designate John Boehner (R-Ohio) intends to commandeer a swanky office space adjacent to the House floor and build a women's restroom for female lawmakers.

For years, men have had the luxury of using facilities located adjacent to the House floor, just outside the Speaker's lobby. But women have had no such option.

If women need to powder their noses, they must instead go downstairs or to a restroom several halls away from the chamber.

But Boehner wants that to end, and plans to direct the Architect of the Capitol to construct a women's bathroom in the space currently occupied by the House Parliamentarian.

Boehner said on Wednesday evening of his decision that "as we continue to evaluate ways to open up the people’s House, it’s encouraging to be able to make changes like this that are long overdue.”

There will be 71 female House members in the 112th Congress.

The Office of the Parliamentarian will be relocated to another space in the Capitol.

My first thought is - They didn't already have one?

My second thought is - Why haven't they demanded one?

My third thought is - Why didn't this occur to Pelosi?

My fourth thought is - Good for Boehner!

This kind of thing may seem minor, but it's good for women both logistically (ever had to go really bad during a break in a meeting where you have to run 10 miles to get to the bathroom and back without being late?) and it's good symbolically!

H/T to SantaFeK! Thanks!

Bridalplasty?

noreply@blogger.com (Thia) — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 18:54:00 +0000

We need to stage an intervention with these women. The most frightening thought for me when I caught this on the news was that I KNOW women like this.

Can we collectively say enough now? Please?

The Continuing Breast Cancer Chronicles

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Ruccia) — Sun, 21 Nov 2010 14:29:00 +0000

I've been having a blast!!! I'm in between treatments right now, and my sole goal is to feel good, enjoy myself, and to get my athletic conditioning back in order. Of course enjoying myself has included the following:

1)buying lots of new clothes-----I'm changing my style a little and it's alot of fun!!! One thing for sure, a breast cancer diagnosis is a big jolt. However, this jolt forces you out of your habit patterns and opens up new opportunities for personal growth. You just can't be a stick-in-the-mud or you will spend the whole cancer time whining and moaning and groaning. And honestly, I've had my pity party and have it again from time to time. But that pity party gets downright BORING!!! So what are the choices I/we face in this situation? Feel sorry for myself (check), get bored with that (check), and get out there and find new entertainment (check) and enjoy things I really love (check!!)!!!

2) contemplating my hair-------I guess the ultimate narcissism is looking at oneself in the mirror and contemplating how to look. If that's where the "narcissism" word originates, I guess I'm guilty as charged. At 58 years old, I'm about to lose my hair (and hopefully my leg hair and underarm hair as well). So at first, I panicked and just HAD to have my same hair reproduced in a wig. Check that one too!!! HOWEVER, in the process, I've gotten a wig with a hairdo that my hair won't do and I really love the look!!!! SO----my girlfriend Pam and I have a date to go to a bunch of wig stores over Thanksgiving weekend and I'm going to try on every style I can find. Heck-----given no choice about the hair, why not have those long, glowing tresses I've always wanted? There was even an article in the New York Times a couple of weeks ago about having long hair into your senior years. Well----I'll let you know if it's for me!!!!

For sure, I look like s--t as a blonde, but what about the other choices? Given a choice between feeling sick, sorry for myself, and moping around, I choose the narcissism thank you very much!!!!

3) growing my new boob------well, for those of you who've been reading my cancer pieces-----it's growing!!! Chrissie, the woman responsible for my weekly fills (and she's such a blast----I look forward to Fridays to catch up on the scuttlebutt at the plastic surgeon's office), tells me that I'm about a third of the way grown. Who could have told us THAT when we were prepubescent? I've had 95 cc's of saline injected into my tissue expander so far, and each time it's like buying a new toy!!! As soon as they're done pumping the weekly fill in, I'm off the table, jumping up and down a little to settle the water, and then off to the mirror to admire my brand new forming boob. It's so ridiculous it's hilarious-----but in a world where we have limited control over our futures, this item is a fun one to feel in charge of!!!

4) training------I'm running and loving it!!! I'm up to six miles and gunning for more. The swimming is coming a little more slowly because of where the mastectomy was done. But----yesterday I swam a mile and three quarters for the first time, and I'm sure that by then end of the week, I'll be up to my normal two miles plus. On a daily basis I'm up to my pre-mastectomy 3--4 hours. My normal day goes like this-----1 hour on the elliptical (a great time to catch up on my calls and reading ands emails on my iphone), 1 hour running, 1 hour bike machine, and then an hour in the pool. I know it sounds like insanity to most people, but somehow it works for me. I was a couch potato until I was 50 when a major crisis in my life forced me out of the house to start walking to save my sanity. One thing lead to another, and here I am-----a senior endurance athlete. Who would have ever known?

5) continuing to work with all of you to find a way to get women equality in the workplace and to make women's equality an imperative for our country. I have loved meeting all of you and am hoping we build a huge army and are an unstoppable force to achieve our goals. WE CAN DO IT!!!! And I hope you will keep thinking, keep coming here and giving your best ideas which are phenomenal!! I never get a chance to say how fabulous you all are and how important your thoughts and ideas are---keep them coming!!! And bring your friends over here too. We've got alot to discuss and formulate and lots more ideas matter!!

One thing I've discovered is that there is virtually no one who can answer my question "how much can I train and will I be able to train during chemo?" My wonderful sports doc, who is the head of the American Academy of Sports Medicine said that there is no research that has been done. My fabulous chemo doctor says the same. They are both interested in learning more. I am trying to nudge them together to do a study. Until that happens, I have decided to do a day-to-day chronicle of my own activities once chemo starts to show at least what someone is capable of doing. I like this idea because I know that I will push myself a little further than I might. I will also lessen my pity party if it shows up. After all, who else will be going through chemo who will want answers to these very same question? My chemo doc says the the very very best antidote to mitigate the side effects of chemo is exercise. My sports doc says that they have no idea how much exercise a person is capable of doing -----so I am going to shed some light on the subject. Who knows? Once the whole experience is said and done, I'll put it all into a book along with these blog pieces.

So anyways, my joyful little interim bubble is fast coming to a close. On Tuesday, Nov. 30, I'll have my port installed into my chest and won't be allowed into a pool for two weeks (boo hoo!!). And on Tuesday, Dec. 7 begins the chemo. Two months of one treatment, three months of another treatment, and then seven months of another. I'll be sharing the ride----promise. I am bound and determined to turn my chemo experience into something great. And why not? I'm not dying of cancer, I'm not going to die of chemo, and I am so lucky we caught the cancer early enough and that we are living in a day and age that chemo will prolong my life long into the future. What's not to celebrate?

I hope that if you know someone going through the same experience you will share my experiences and maybe they'd like to come on the blog and share theirs in comments or even their own piece. We all need each other at a time like this------and I appreciate all of the love, support and encouragement you've given me. Women's equality and fixing breast cancer-----two great women's causes!!!!! Stay tuned on both.........

Think Outside the Box

noreply@blogger.com (Thia) — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 17:07:00 +0000

Cross-posted from peacocks and lilies
by Anna Belle Pfau

Much ado has been made about the failure of the Senate to pass a cloture vote on the Paycheck Fairness Act. Predictably, feminist on the left who have opposed the development of a right-centered feminism have used the vote to float the continuing frame that Republicans are anti-woman. However, even left-centered feminists who have supported right-centered feminism have been taken completely by surprise by the turn of events. They reason that women erased the gender gap for Republicans on the female side in the last election, thus they should see immediate dividends for their risk-taking. While that point of view should be taken seriously, we should also address the naiveté it demonstrates. Bipartisan voting will never be enough. Feminists of all persuasions are going to have to take the next step: proposing bipartisan policy.

Many left-centered feminist were persuaded to support a right-centered feminism as a result of the blatant sexism faced by both Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin during the 2008 election. The most important argument of persuasion in this ideological shift was the 30% Solution, proposed by Democratic Congresswoman Carolyn Maloney in her book Rumors of Our Progress Have Been Greatly Exaggerated, and promoted to PUMAs and other disaffected Hillary Clinton supported by blogger madamab, then of Oooh Nuance! And The Confluence blogs, currently blogging at Widdershins and Corrente, among others. Madamab herself seems to have abandoned the strategy, but it lives on in the legacy of support by moderate, left-centered and former leftists feminists who believe a two-pronged attack is appropriate in a two-party system.

The thrust of that solution was that more women on both sides of the aisle would result in woman-friendly legislation at the point of critical mass, pegged at a non-threatening 30%. According to studies cited by Maloney, once women reach 30% of the federal government, progress for women will become organic. The presence of women at that point becomes so normal that policies natural shift to accommodate their needs. Their collective experience of women and their presence at the table means that women’s voices and needs will be heard and addressed.

I document this information not only because I am a woman’s historian who believes in credit where credit is due—and madamab and Rep. Maloney deserve a lot of credit (that they might now shun) for a fundamental and ideological shift that has resulted in a broadening of the traditional feminist mindset—but also because this is the part the critics of Republicans over the Paycheck Fairness Act forget. We have not yet reached critical mass. To expect Republican women especially to flout party ideology in this political climate in favor of Democratic solutions to pay inequality is, to say the least, impatient and naïve. At worst it’s alienating and shortsighted.

Instead, we should be craft solutions that fit within the ideologies of the two legacy parties. Where the Paycheck Fairness Act was the perfect approach for Democrats, its implementations were in opposition to traditional Republican orthodoxy of smaller government with less regulation, especially of business. This is hardly surprising since the bill was crafted by Democrats and enjoyed entirely Democratic support. A peek inside the bill explains why.

The opening salvo of the bill was bound to leave distaste in the mouths of Republicans, if only for the invocation of victimhood:

To amend the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938 to provide more effective remedies to victims of discrimination in the payment of wages on the basis of sex, and for other purposes.

Bolding mine.

The hallmark of conservative women for decades has been the eschewing of the victim label, and the current form of conservative feminism adheres to this tradition. That is part of why it is so successful. Beyond the rhetorical objections, the policy itself was never one to pass conservative muster. Reinstating the Equal Opportunity Survey, created and implemented by Clinton and abolished by Bush? Doubtful. Allowing unlimited punitive damages in lawsuits, and automatic enrollment in class actions based on ownership of a vagina and a common employer, thus empowering trail attorneys? Not on your life. Add to that the exemption of the federal government, something both parties presumably support, even though the bill acknowledged the fed is itself a perpetrator of pay inequality. Such exemptions are offensive to the more populist on both the left and the right, the author included.

These are among the reasons the bill failed to muster cloture votes, and they have nothing to do with Republican support of equal pay or lack thereof. On paper they support equal pay, just as Democrats do, on paper. Neither side has been able to craft strategies that garner the support needed to change the facts on the ground. Into this vacuum comes our next chance.

We must craft strategies for both sides so that they can come to bipartisan solutions. This is how Congress works. The pet issues on either side are rarely addressed with more than token measures because they serve to keep both sides ideological tied to their respective parties. Call it a bipartisan politics of fear. It is only when both sides pressure that things get done anymore. Consider welfare reform or health care. Statistically, there was bipartisan support for some kind of change, despite the disruption in support from key constituencies for both Clinton and Obama. For Bush think of the unity surrounding national security measures after 9/11. The statistical bipartisan support again was there.

What I propose by my title Think Outside the Box is the disentangling of femininity from some solutions, diffusing our issues throughout the political spectrum. It’s a pun, but like any good pun, it’s embedded with that kernel of truth. First, in a deeply sexist society, how much sense does it make to promote women’s causes as women’s causes? Secondly, if this is a war—and I believe it is—smarter, broader approaches are called for, and women must constantly re-strategize to attain results, always with eyes toward both the practical and non-conventional. We must think like Generals and adapt our strategies to suit the facts on the ground and those we seek to conquer. Fair Pay may be an issue to test this hypothesis. If Republicans found the Paycheck Fairness Act untenable for the reasons I mentioned above, what are some policies they could support?

Some conservatives and many everyday Americans could be persuaded to support the protections for reporting and inquiry of income the bill contained, which would render all such HR policy bans against disclosure at the risk of fire void. This could easily be sold as a free speech issue benefiting everyone, one that does not directly affect a business’s bottom-line, costing them nothing unless they get caught paying unfairly based on gender, race, etc.

Another proposal might be to negotiate tax reform to include annual automatic database queries that match employers, gender, race, etc, and income with employers and titles, targeting specific companies to explain inequalities via surveys or IRS forms, thus virtually eliminating on-the-table abuses of the existing 1963 Equal Pay law. While this could be worked around, it would drive the inequality under the table, thus exposing companies to greater risk via other corruption and conspiracy laws. This shifts the argument from a traditional women-as-victim frame to a policing frame, something very much in line with conservative thinking. Again this is a proposal that costs companies nothing unless they get caught, would be of minimal expense to the federal government, and would neither create new agencies nor expand existing ones.

A case could also be made for tax cheats. This involves an explanation of how much revenue federal, state, and local governments are missing out on due to disparities in pay standards based on gender, race, etc. Unfortunately I don’t have the math skills, but a simple power point created by a good mathematician or team of mathematicians could go viral in our crazy internet world. Instead of presenting a picture of victimized women, this argument shows the victimization of government at the expense of a company/corporations bottom line. In General-speak—pit your enemies against each other.

The Case for Microfeminism

Naturally, the most important thing women who care about fair pay can do, as others have suggested, is to advance the cause of equal pay without relying on the male-dominated political structure. This is easier said than done, of course. Today, the facts on the ground are that the federal government is a huge bicameral behemoth, one that won’t be moved swiftly. While we whittle away at the margins on our way to 30%, we would do well to again think outside the box, this time in more proverbial terms.

Others have suggested the need for women to start new businesses so that more women are in control of pay. This is a fine solution for those with the capital or the wherewithal to raise capital enough to undertake such endeavors. The vast majority of women are too broke, busy, or burdened (or a combination thereof) to take this route. Wealthier women could help by establishing micro-loan programs or investing in existing micro-loan programs aimed at American women.

Entrepreneurial women could make a mark by encouraging the exchange of income information in innovative ways. The website reportmyincome.com in currently unregistered, and it would take minimal start up costs and one good database builder to get a site going whereby internet users could anonymously register their gender, race, titles, employers, location, gross and net incomes, etc., which could then be utilized by users to access data for themselves, thus circumventing HR policy against disclosure. This kind of no-risk flouting of authority is exactly the kind of thing the internet loves, and though it could be exploited, for the price of a good webmaster that could largely be negated via traffic monitoring. The best thing about it? No government involved! Just good design and good promotion. (And maybe some fair pay for those of us who want to work on substantive issues like this and need a decent paycheck too.)

These are just a few ideas because I am just one woman. Others could pitch in to create endless approaches and possibilities. A battle on all fronts, one that sheds no blood yet gets results.

***

The ideal of achieving parity in representation by supporting the election of both Democratic and Republican women, nor the idea that women’s status and needs will progress as more women join the ranks of the elected regardless of party need suffer a blow because the Paycheck Fairness Act failed a cloture along party lines in the wake of an historic election such as we just had. It does not change the argument at all. What it means is that that critical mass of 30% is more significant than ever, and we should redouble our efforts in that regard. With ten Republican women and 20 Democratic women in the Senate, this bill, as partisan as it was, would have passed. Peeling off two more votes, if they were even needed, would have been a cinch in that environment. That’s not the environment we have.

This particular defeat also means that we have to think more creatively to find solutions, and break away even more from our political heritages, encouraging that same attitude in other women. We are the game changers, and we must keep faith, for the war is long. It’s entirely appropriate to be disappointed in the wake of this vote, but blaming one side, or even both sides will not attain for us the results we seek. It’s time to put that blame away and wipe that dour expression from our faces and think this one through. Even outside the box.

Paycheck Fairness Act=The Holy Grail????

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Ruccia) — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 12:31:00 +0000

Let me just say this up front------I want to see equal pay for equal work. That is right up there with seeing women have equal representation. I believe that it is absolutely wrong to discriminate against women when it comes to what they are being paid. On a baser level, anyone who pays women less because they can get away with it are unevolved pigs. Ok?

HOWEVER, the whole idea of the Paycheck Fairness Act is just difficult because it butts up against that 200+ year discussion we've had here in the United States about what the role of government should be. Should it be bigger or smaller? Should it be more in our lives or less in our lives? From a strategic point of view, it is at best extremely risky to put the fate of equal pay for women in the middle of that argument because depending on the political winds, our chances of winning that one are at best slim. And as a result, to call people who voted against it sexist or unresponsive, or "letting us down" completely misses the point.

The point is that if we are counting on the government to right this particular wrong in this particular way, we will probably be waiting until long after we are all dead and long beyond that if ever to fix the problem in this fashion. It is a strategic red herring to consider passing this legislation as the only solution, and worse, it is one of those things that will continue to divide women along party lines and completely take our power away as a voting bloc. And we will continue to end up with what we have now------and that is waiting for nothing to happen. Because regardless of what party holds the power, this legislation hasn't been successful in passing. Even larded up with earmarks.

Look at it this way-------the Democrats, the supposed party of women, have held almost every single lever of power these past two years. This Paycheck Fairness Act could have been passed by them at any point. At any time!!! Did it happen? NO. It didn't happen because, as usual, the party of women said that well ladies, of course your issues are important, but other things need to come first-----other things much more important to the national interest. We'll get to your stuff later. Well, they DID get to it later--------when they knew it didn't stand a chance to pass. The party of women? You be the judge.

As far as the Republicans go, this particular type of legislation is rarely supported. Especially now. The Republicans, the party of small government, are still atoning for the Bush years when government grew in what was to their holy grail, an unseemly huge fashion. There was just no way politically that the Republicans would support this type of legislation. It's not because Republicans don't support equal pay. It's just that they don't support the type of government intrusion that this would require. And I'm not deluding myself------the Republicans have not been a party out there promoting women's equality much. But this vote of theirs was more about their ideology than it was about sexism-----you can read it in the previous piece 21st Century Feminism under "Schizophrenic Systems."

So the Democrats knowing that this legislation didn't stand an infinitesimal chance of passing did the following: since they still hold the levers of power and can control what comes up for a vote, they put the piece of legislation out there, let it fail, and then accused the Republicans of being anti-women. And then they let their minions, men and women, trumpet this thought far and wide splitting women against one another. And we allow ourselves to fall into that trap every single time. It's why our progress is stalled.

We women need to wise up and stop falling for this kind of game playing. We keep falling into this same trap over and over and over again. The trap is that the parties are using this kind of tactic to control us and control our destiny. We have had two choices, neither one of them good, put in front of us to attain paycheck equity. One is through legislation-----a total failure. We'll be waiting for kingdom come and beyond to find our success that way. The other way is for it to "just happen on its own." Well friends, women are still making cents on the man's dollar. In the past 40 years, we have made little progress----sometimes we advance by a few pennies, sometimes we fall back. Those two things aren't working very well if at all. So why are we doing the same things over and over again and expecting to get different results? In my book that it the #1 definition of pure stupidity!!!!!

As I see it, we have at least two pretty terrific choices. One is that women need to start, run, and build their own businesses. We are doing it more and more------the majority of business startups are by women. Women can then control the whole paycheck fairness issue themselves. And for the women who aren't their own bosses? Well, that solution lies stated once again in my previous piece, 21st Century Feminism. To recap, women run very little in this country. The reason is that people are uncomfortable with the idea of women running things. Until we get used to seeing women run things, that discomfort will continue to hold us back. However, we can take matters into our own hands and vote for most of the women most of the time and by our own efforts catapult women into power so that people will get used to seeing women in charge. And once that level of comfort of women running things reaches 50% and it permeates our culture, we will be in a position to have even MORE options to hold and retain power proportionate to our numbers.

So for these ridiculous and cynical political tactics pitting women against each other? Enough already!!!!!

21st-Century Feminism

noreply@blogger.com (Thia) — Fri, 12 Nov 2010 18:42:00 +0000

by Cynthia Ruccia
Crossposted from The Daily Caller.

I want to propose what feminism is at this juncture in history. We have seen people argue over the meaning of the word. We’ve seen people be embarrassed by the word. We’ve seen people attempt to find a new word. We’ve seen people accuse one another of co-opting the meaning of the word.

But what exactly is feminism after the first decade of the 21st century? I think that in order to redefine the term for a new age, we need to talk a little bit about what it isn’t. Feminism isn’t what either the Republicans or Democrats define it to be. It isn’t what right-leaning or left-leaning groups want it to mean. It isn’t about bra-burning, sexual mores, or whether women (or men) want to work or stay at home. Nor is it about whether women should work at all. It isn’t about small, all-exclusive thought enclaves that require certain brainwashing to join, nor is it about mean girls.

I propose a feminism for the beginning of the second decade of the 21st century that is inclusive. I propose a feminism that makes another large leap forward for American women and men that will reflect the true meaning of a democracy — equal representation. I do not support a government solution for the problem. What I propose is a new wave of thinking about what equality for women means.

I do not propose a solution that will solve all problems for women. I only want to offer a solution for one of our country’s most intractable problems: that women don’t really run much of anything. In fact, as 51% of the population, women run about 4% of our enterprises. We hold barely 18% of elected positions and are represented just as sparsely at the top of academia. People often try to explain this problem, but few venture forth with a solution. Some say that the problem will solve itself. While there may be some truth to that notion, I think we can nudge the process along.

This phase of feminism will be an interim step, one that will achieve our goals of equal placement at the top, and also help solve some of our other seemingly intractable problems. My solution is for most people, women and men, to vote for most women candidates most of the time. I call it the “Three M Strategy” (the word “most” three times — get it?). I include men because I know men who are very supportive of the goal of women’s proportional representation at the top, and I know women who are against this idea. Anyone who goes along with it is a 21st-century feminist because they see the utility of getting women in large enough numbers to the top so that as a society we can become accustomed to seeing women running things. Our society needs to be convinced at a deeper level that women are as capable leaders as men.

So why is such a simple solution so difficult for us to achieve? People often pay lip service to this idea; however, we keep running into the same problems over and over again. I divide these problems into three categories: stereotypes, sister snark, and schizophrenic systems.

Stereotypes

Female stereotypes are both obvious and subtle. Women are stereotyped as being too dumb, too crazy, too mean, too inexperienced, too weak, too strong, too sexy, not sexy enough, castrating, and imperfect. Women are also stereotyped based on their marital status and whether they have children. It is difficult for a woman to get ahead in such an environment, because no matter what she does, she’ll fail to live up to expectations. Just look at Hillary Clinton’s presidential candidacy, or Sarah Palin’s vice presidential candidacy, or any of the candidacies of women who ran for Senate seats, House seats, or governorships in the 2010 midterm elections.

These stereotypes reinforce the image that women just aren’t up to the task of leading. How many times have we heard the idea that yes, we support women, just not that woman. To end this stereotyping, we must change the language we use to describe female candidates. Polls have shown that if you attack a woman as a “whore,” her poll numbers will drop 10 points. Words like “whore” are tools to keep women in their place.

I believe that if you can’t overcome these stereotypes, you aren’t serious about women being leaders, and you need to look within yourself at your own prejudices. I propose that we put all of this stereotyping nonsense away and just vote for women. Lord knows that we have certainly voted less than perfect men into office without a single qualm. It’s as if because they’re men their flaws don’t matter. Well, if men’s flaws are minimized, why not minimize women’s flaws as well? None of us are perfect, men or women. But all of us are Americans who believe in democracy and its promise of equality. If you can’t vote for one specific woman, vote for all of the rest of them. We will progress if we proceed in this fashion.

Sister Snark

The second reason we aren’t finding more women at the top is that women have a lot of animus toward one another and many times just can’t support each other and be happy for our progress. This problem — sister snark — has been discussed at length, most recently by Phyllis Chesler and Kelly Valen in a New York Times essay that was expanded into a book, “The Twisted Sisterhood.” We are our own worst enemies.

As I see it, there are two main problems among women. One is that since we are a disempowered group, we only posses a smallish piece of the societal pie. As such, we have to fight each other for a diminishing slice of our small power. When we have tens of thousands of positions to compete for instead of a token few, we will be able to celebrate each other’s success more and stop being prisoners of our own jealousies.

Our lack of leadership positions has played into the stereotype that women are catty. Because we have nothing else to run, we create our own gangs and fight each other. It’s an old story not limited to women, but it is a story that will run its course when women have more opportunities. But to get there, we need to get over our animus toward one another and vote for women.

Another aspect of sister snark is what I like to call “Stockholm Syndrome.” Stockholm Syndrome is a condition in which captives begin to grow sympathetic to their captors. It’s not that women are “captives” of men. Not at all. However, we are captives in a society that holds men in much higher regard as leaders. As such, if women aspire to anything — leadership or comfort or even any job where men run the show, we are totally dependent on the good will of the men who run things. As a result, our behavior becomes distorted and stunted. We often have to suck up in order to achieve our ends and differentiate ourselves from other aspiring women. We begin to internalize the techniques we need in order to gain enough favor to succeed, and it causes us to develop an antagonistic relationship with other women.

I have certainly simplified the problems that women have with one another. But, women, we need to clean our own house in order to make the gains we need for future generations of girls and women to succeed. Wouldn’t it be fantastic for our girls to know that they can truly be anything because they actually see women being everything? Our vision of telling our daughters that is still a fantasy. We can make it a reality, a priceless gift to future generations, if we just go ahead and vote for women candidates — if not all of them, most of them. We just need to swallow our tendency to feel jealous and spiteful and vote for them anyways, for the sake of our daughters and granddaughters. Really.

Schizophrenic Systems

Politics is the pursuit of power. People and parties who want power have to get elected to obtain that power. Women are the largest group of voters, and the smart politicians have succeeded in the Machiavellian approach of making sure that our voting bloc is completely divided against itself. And we women have fallen right into that trap. We have allowed ourselves to be convinced that certain “slates of issues” are the real women-friendly issues. And as such, our power as a voting bloc has been divided and completely conquered. We have been so susceptible to these dividing messages that we have forgotten to really think for ourselves and check out whether these agendas have anything at all to do with women.

If women look a little closer, they will see that, for the most part, the parties are not only engaged in power grabs, but they continue to debate the exact same philosophical views that we’ve been debating for over 200 years. That debate is all about the role of government, and it has nothing to do with women’s equality. We will seemingly always have this intransigent debate and this quest for party-power politics. Wouldn’t it make more sense to keep on voting for women of any party so that we have women represented in equal numbers on both sides of the aisle? I imagine that the nature of the debate will differ when women play an equal role. I, for one, would love to see empowered women in equal numbers as men fighting the good fight. All of us would feel empowered by this example — men and women.

The problem is that since women don’t run much of anything, we continue to reinforce the notion that women don’t run much because we can’t run much or because we shouldn’t run much. The solution — which we all can participate in and will make a huge difference — is my Three M Strategy. The Three M Strategy is that if Most of the women vote for Most of the women candidates Most of the time, and the men who support us vote for most of the women most of the time, we will be able to make the progress we long for. Women at the top, equal representation at the top. That is 21st-century American feminism.

Happy Veterans Day!

noreply@blogger.com (Thia) — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 14:06:00 +0000

I just wanted to wish everyone a happy Veteran's Day and to ask that we remember those who have, and are, sacrificing for our country. And guess what? That includes an awful lot of women we can be proud of!

In case you didn't know, there has only been one woman (so far) awarded a prestigious Medal of Honor. Although it was created for the Civil War, Congress made the Medal of Honor a permanent decoration in 1863.

Almost 3,400 men and one woman have received the award for heroic actions in the nation's battles since that time. This woman was Dr. Mary Edwards Walker, noted and honored for her service as a doctor, and eventually a prisoner, during the Civil War.

The Medal of Honor, established by Joint Resolution of Congress, 12 July 1862 (amended by Act of 9 July 1918 and Act of 25 July 1963) is awarded in the name of Congress to a person who, while a member of the Army, distinguished himself (or herself) conspicuously by gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his (or her) life above and beyond the call of duty while engaged in an action against an enemy of the United States; while engaged in military operations involving conflict with an opposing foreign force; or while serving with friendly foreign forces engaged in an armed conflict against an opposing armed force in which the United States is not a belligerent party. The deed performed must have been one of personal bravery or self-sacrifice so conspicuous as to clearly distinguish the individual above his (or her) comrades and must have involved risk of life. Incontestable proof of the performance of the service will be exacted and each recommendation for the award of this decoration will be considered on the standard of extraordinary merit. Eligibility is limited to members of the Army of the United States in active Federal military service.

Dr. Mary Edwards Walker's citation follows...

WALKER, DR. MARY E.
Rank and organization: Contract Acting Assistant Surgeon (civilian), U. S. Army. Places and dates: Battle of Bull Run, July 21, 1861; Patent Office Hospital, Washington, D.C., October 1861; Chattanooga, Tenn., following Battle of Chickomauga, September 1863; Prisoner of War, April 10, 1864-August 12, 1864, Richmond, Va.; Battle of Atlanta, September 1864. Entered service at: Louisville, Ky. Born: 26 November 1832, Oswego County, N.Y. Citation: Whereas it appears from official reports that Dr. Mary E. Walker, a graduate of medicine, "has rendered valuable service to the Government, and her efforts have been earnest and untiring in a variety of ways," and that she was assigned to duty and served as an assistant surgeon in charge of female prisoners at Louisville, Ky., upon the recommendation of Major-Generals Sherman and Thomas, and faithfully served as contract surgeon in the service of the United States, and has devoted herself with much patriotic zeal to the sick and wounded soliders, both in the field and hospitals, to the detriment of her own health, and has also endured hardships as a prisoner of war four months in a Southern prison while acting as contract surgeon; and Whereas by reason of her not being a commissioned officer in the military service, a brevet or honorary rank cannot, under existing laws, be conferred upon her; and Whereas in the opinion of the President an honorable recognition of her services and sufferings should be made: It is ordered, That a testimonial thereof shall be hereby made and given to the said Dr. Mary E. Walker, and that the usual medal of honor for meritorious services be given her.

Given under my hand in the city of Washington, D.C., this 11th day of November, A.D. 1865.
Andrew Johnson,
President

Exciting Women in the GOP!

noreply@blogger.com (Thia) — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 23:35:00 +0000

Congratulations to all the new and returning women candidates in the GOP!

I'm thrilled with the new RNC site for women as well.

Check it out, and if you want to see more women's faces in the future, let them know and...

PARTICIPATE!!!

Find more photos like this on RNC Women

That Look.......Part of the @#$%^ Cancer Journey

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Ruccia) — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 15:08:00 +0000

First off----I'm feeling fabulous!!!! I'm over the mastectomy which was 8 weeks ago, and I'm in that interim time before I get started with the chemo. Running and swimming are back on my schedule, and I'm a happy camper.

Just wanted to give a rundown on some of the oddities of having breast cancer. I feel sometimes like I did when I was pregnant. For those of you who've been in that blessed state (I loved my pregnancies---feeling that baby moving around was blissful and very spiritual for me), you might remember that as soon as you started showing, everyone and their uncle came out of the woodwork to share their pregnancy horror stories with you. For me, it caught me completely off guard. At first their stories scared the crap out of me, but after awhile I just started to tune them out. I was aided by some of those pregnancy hormones that tended to put a gauzy veil over everything and just blunted my emotions. I never understood why people wanted to be so negative, scary, and gory, but I guess that it just goes with the turf. In reaction when I'm interacting with a woman who is in her first pregnancy, I always say to ignore those people and that the pregnancy and delivery will be a wonderful and special event.

So what in the world does this have to do with cancer? I don't know if any of you are following the HBO show "The Big C" but my experience is mirroring the protagonist in some ways. She (unlike me) has been given one year to live, and she hasn't been telling anyone because she doesn't want people to give her "that look" and boy do I get that!!!!! You see, I've had another bout with breast cancer, but my breast cancer this time is a NEW cancer, NOT a continuation of the other one. And since it is not an aggressive cancer, since it responds well to treatment, and since we caught it early, my prognosis is great!!

It can be hard to explain all of this, and it can also be very tiring since I'm thinking about living, not dying. So when I tell people that I have breast cancer, they start to look at me pityingly, with fear, and a bunch of other mixed up emotions all rolled into one (including ------whew---glad it's not me). I know that their reactions are normal, and I'd surely have the same reactions if the tables were turned. So I've taken to just not telling people anymore. But when I absolutely must let the cat out of the bag, I've been saying, "Yes, I'm going to die, but it won't be from breast cancer!!" It's been actually quite fun because I get a look back from them that makes me just want to roflmao!!!! I know that I might sound mean, flippant, or worse, but really, I'm a live person, and I just want to live my life to the fullest. And once I discombobulate people this way, they start to treat me more normally again and that's what I want.

Another element of having breast cancer is that since it is a life crisis (no way out of that one), it really is a great opportunity to make changes in your life that you've been wanting to make. For me one of the things I've most wanted to do is to do more to live each day to the fullest------you know, live more in the now. A cancer diagnosis makes you understand in a stark way that for all of our days are numbered and we need to find a way to cherish each one, to remember that now is really all we have. I've never been very good at that, and I'm certainly not perfect at it yet (far from it), but I often pause now to just focus on whatever I'm doing and feel it much more fully. Although I plan to live to be 100, to live more in the present it a great gift that breast cancer has given me.

I'm also trying to look on the bright side. Who knows what chemo will be like? Like pregnancy, opinions are a dime a dozen. But for sure:

1) I won't have to worry about bed head for awhile

2) I won't have to color my hair for awhile

3) I get to experiment with lots of wigs and new hairstyles. For example, my future daughter-in-law Bridget has gotten me to thinking about getting an updo wig for her wedding since it is a formal wedding

4) this one is big-----I WON'T HAVE TO SHAVE MY LEGS FOR AWHILE!!! Unless, of course, I'm one of those dumb schleps whose leg hair can't be killed by chemo. That's be just my luck!!!!

5) chemo and cancer are a great excuse to give when I need a good excuse so as not to offend people. Ya know what i mean?

6) I need to always remember that my chemo is an insurance policy, a down payment on my goal of living to be 100.

Oh, and of course, I need to give an update to all of you on my new boob. I've had three "fills" now. That is I've been to the doctor and gotten three saline injections into the tissue expander to grow my boob. It is so funny!!! I feel like I'm going through puberty all over again because every week my boob is a little bigger. This week I'm going to get an even bigger injection because all of a sudden I want my boobs to match much more quickly. Much be a sign of recovery. And for those of you who feel queasy hearing about this process, it's absolutely painless. And since it's always on a Friday, I get to hear about the nurse's plans for the weekend which is always fun. I'm on the table talking about partying, in goes the water, and out I walk, a more shapely me. Pretty cool!!!! The boobs I bought are coming along......

One interesting thing that may come of all of this is that not much has been studied about the effects of cancer, chemo, and its aftermath on athletes like myself and their training regimens. I'm hoping to convince my fabulous sports doc, Dr. Thomas Best who is the head of the American College of Sports Medicine, and my incredibly wonderful chemo doctor, Dr. Maryam Lustberg, who has an interest in the subject to do a study and I've volunteered myself as a subject and also have offered to find funding for such a study. More and more people are getting cancer and surviving it and much is unknown about its aftereffects. Much of the work of the Lance Armstrong Foundation, Live Strong, has been taken up with these kinds of studies. I guess I'm just not happy unless I've got a cause I'm working for passionately!!!

BUT------NO MATTER WHAT, women's equality and women's parity are never far from my thought. I keep telling you that I've written a special piece defining feminism and putting forth simple remedies to get us to parity. I've not put it up yet because I'm waiting to hear back from one particular aggregator that might be interested in publishing it. Once that is settled, it will be on TooCynThia. My goal is to send it around as vigorously as possible to inject this strain of thought more potently into the national dialogue. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. And when I talk like that, it's another look people give me----------but nothing will change for us women until we do. What we are doing isn't working. We need a reset. Stay tuned.......

Alert: Hillary Clinton Fans

noreply@blogger.com (Thia) — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 17:19:00 +0000

If you are a fan of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton or are just curious about the State Department, you might be interested in this special.

It is an in depth, behind the scenes look at Secretary Clinton, the directives and goals of the State Department, and the extraordinary people who facilitate the mission.

Inside the State Department begins airing on the National Geographic Channel tonight at 9:00 PM Eastern time. The National Geographic Channel says...

In a planet full of conflict, America faces challenges like never before. Inside the Department of State follows US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and her team of top advisors into some the most embattled regions of the planet. Travel behind the scenes on some of Clintons most crucial overseas missions to date: including trips to Pakistan, Israel, Egypt and Afghanistan. Each mission sheds new light on the machinery & strategy of American diplomacy.

Tales from the Ohio Election......A Clean Sweep

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Ruccia) — Sat, 06 Nov 2010 04:20:00 +0000

Thought I might change the subject today for a minute and give some personal atmospherics from the campaign trail here in Ohio this year. Like many of you, I voted a straight Republican ticket to send a message about how I didn't think that the Democrats deserved being rewarded with my vote for their sexism. And they continued on this year with an amazing spew of sexism----amazing. But that's off the subject. I know alot of you did what I did as well. Just so you know, it wasn't very easy voting that way. A blog that occasionally posts my pieces, The Stiletto, asked me to talk about how I feel about the new governor of Ohio, a man I ran against twice. It forced me to look back a little bit, and I just decided to post the piece at our blog as well. SO----here we go.....

The new governor of my state, Ohio, was my political rival in 1994 and 1996. John Kasich, governor-elect, just burned me up back then with his way-out-there sense of entitlement, his brash arrogance, and his overall rude demeanor. He was a member of Congress, and I was sick and tired of the folks here in Columbus who thought he could walk on water. I was also at the end of my rope with the idea that he could never be beaten. I thought that I deserved a better representative than one who behaved like that!!!

I became politically active in my teens as a Democrat with the quixotic Eugene McCarthy bid for the Democratic nomination for President and loved his bravery for opposing the Viet Nam war. Later on in college at Columbia University in the early 70's, I fell in love with the women's movement and decided that I would find a way to devote my life to helping women get ahead. I knew that I had the moxie to speak truth to power where others didn't, and I wanted to put it to good use for my cause, a cause that has stayed with me as a lifelong goal----women's empowerment and parity.

However, first I married a great guy (still married after all these 38 years), and we traveled around the country with his engineering job for a dozen years. We moved to a different city every year or so, and it was difficult to set down any kind of political roots anywhere. All of that came to an end in 1984 when we settled down in Columbus, OH. I had children to bear (two sons) and a business to build (a business where I set women up in business and teach them how to make money on their own terms). When all of those things seemed stable, I decided that it was time to get into the political arena, and defeating John Kasich was my first goal. Of course I didn't win. Because I was a political unknown, I promised everyone I would run twice, and so I did. Turned out, I was really good at raising money, and I forced him to spend some money here instead of giving it out to other candidates across the country as I had raised around $750,000 between the two races----alot of money for this kind of race back then.

I just couldn't stand the guy, and he earned my everlasting enmity twice-----both incidents involving my children. On one occasion, my older son, who was 12 at the time, wanted to meet my opponent. We were on separate floats in the Reynoldsburg Tomato Festival parade, and I took my son to the other end of the parade to Kasich's float to introduce him to Kasich. My child put his hand out to shake the Congressman's hand, and Mr. Kasich just looked at him, grumbled something, and turned his back on him without shaking his hand. I have never forgotten him turning his back so cruelly on a child.

The second odious incident was that his staff had scheduled an appearance at my younger child's elementary school the day after the election for the sole purpose of rubbing my face into the fact that I had lost and he had won. There are hundreds of elementary schools in the congressional district, and I'm guessing that Kasich had never appeared at any of them up to that point. It only confirmed to me that this guy was a conceited asshole of the highest order. That kind of chest-beating was totally unnecessary, and I have never forgotten how tactless he was.

Fast forward to the just ended midterms. If you read this blog with some regularity, you know that I have left the Democratic party and have become an Independent. I am beholden to no party. And I had decided that in 2010 that the Democrats needed to be punished for all of the sexism that they had excused in getting Hillary Clinton beaten and Obama elected. I was one of many people who left the party-----it is estimated that over a million people just like myself with lifelong connections to the party left and have never looked back. You can read this poem I wrote a few days before the election, Just Like a Kid at Christmas, that just about sums up my position.

The opponent of Kasich was Governor Ted Strickland, one of the nicest people you'd ever want to meet. Ted and I became friends when I ran against Kasich as Strickland was also a member of Congress, and he was extremely helpful to me in my campaigns. Now that he was up for reelection, what was I going to do? Strickland put his entire reputation on the line for Hillary Clinton when she ran for president. In fact, Ted and I voted for her together. However, in the ensuing time period, my ire at the Democrats grew so large. I HATED seeing our Democratic officials here in Ohio fawn over Obama on all of the many trips he continues to make here. None of the Ohio officials ever spoke out about the sexism----not even once. And I believe that Obama's first victory (in the primaries) was done on the back of women----we were the first group thrown under the bus (although we've gained alot of company since then).

How could I even conceive of voting against my friend who I was so fond of and vote for a man I had a visceral dislike for? Well, there's one more story to tell first. Toward the end of May, 2008, the disgust of many of us with our party and it's spewing sexism that everyone was acting like wasn't happening, had gotten enough people upset here in Columbus, that we decided to make a national statement. We figured that as Ohioans, we had a special importance cause you can't win the White House without winning Ohio. We formed a group and decided to hold a press conference to announce that if the party didn't stop treating Hillary Clinton the way they were that we were going to leave the party and vote for McCain. No one had done that yet----we were the first. At the time, John Kasich had a show on Saturday nights on Fox, and he often appeared on other shows as well as filling in for Bill O'Reilly. Since I was the designated spokesperson, we decided to give Kasich the scoop because we knew at the time it was going to be a very hot story. Well, I called his office to see if he wanted to help us out, and as soon as his aide heard it was me, he told me that I wasn't getting near John Kasich and he hung up the phone on me!!!! Well, with my famous moxie and growing anger, I called back and told the little twerp that I had a very hot story and not to hang up on me cause I was giving it to them first. He listened to it all and then hung up on me again. Ten minutes later I got a call from Bill O'Reilly!!!!!!!!!

So I am making a public confession to you-------my anger at the Democrats and need to punish them at the voting booth won out. I voted against my good friend Ted Strickland, and held my nose, voted for John Kasich, and as soon as I did it, I felt my stomach turn over. Fortunately Strickland lost by over 100,000 votes, so my little indiscretion at the polls didn't make any difference. But I can't tell you that I felt good not voting for him.

I live in the neighborhood where the Governor's Mansion is. I'm a runner, and I run past there regularly. From time to time I've seen Ted Strickland or his wife Frances when I run by. Many times I thought to myself----would I be able to vote for Kasich and then have to run by this house and see him? Well, I'll let you know about that!!!!

My final thought is that Kasich is still brash and he's still obnoxious. But I must say that since Ohio is $8 billion in the hole and our budget MUST be balanced this year, it might just take a guy like him to do the painful things that must be done to get our financial house in order here in Ohio. If so, my vote wasn't in vain.

Can't Be Spun Differently.... Bad Night For Women

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Ruccia) — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 11:58:00 +0000

First thing Wednesday morning, I received the following email from Joshua, one of our regular commenters, which tells most of the story of how women fared on Tuesday....

"I've been tallying up this morning, and I thought you and Thia
might want the final numbers. In the House, women lost twelve
seats and picked up five (including a Republican, Frederica
Wilson of Miami):

(+) AL-07 Sewell
(-) AZ-01 Kirkpatrick
(-) CO-04 Markey
(-) FL-05 Brown-Waite
(+) FL-18 Wilson (R)
( ) FL-24 Kosmas -> Adams
(+) HI-01 Hanabusa
(-) IL-11 Halvorson
(-) MI-13 Kilpatrick
(-) NH-01 Shea-Porter
(-) NV-03 Titus
(-) OH-15 Kilroy
(-) OK-05 Fallin
(-) PA-03 Dahlkemper
( ) SD-01 Herseth-Sandlin -> Noem

Gabrielle Giffords (AZ-08) is just barely holding on; if she loses, it's eight seats down. In the Senate, we lost Blanche Lincoln (AR), but Lisa Murkowski (AK) seems to have pulled ahead in the statewide spelling bee, and will hold the seat if most of those write-ins hold up. And of course Nancy Pelosi loses the speaker's chair, to round out the second worst national election for women in my lifetime. (In 1978, my high school junior year, we lost two congresswomen out of 18 and one senator out of three; 2010 is seven out of 78 and one senator out of 18. But obviously, this is the first time we have ever lost a female national caucus leader.) "

------Update from Joshua------

Not nearly as bad as it looked yesterday, which is partly my fault. Five (and a half -- see NY-25 below) close races flipped, and also one safe R seat that I wasn't even watching (TN-06) should have been on my list and is now in the women's column with Diane Black.

(-) AZ-01 Kirkpatrick
(-) CO-04 Markey
(-) FL-05 Brown-Waite
(-) IL-11 Halvorson
(-) MI-13 Kilpatrick
(-) NH-01 Shea-Porter
(-) NV-03 Titus
(-) OH-15 Kilroy
(-) OK-05 Fallin
(-) PA-03 Dahlkemper

(+) AL-02 Roby
(+) AL-07 Sewell
(+) FL-17 Wilson
(+) HI-01 Hanabusa
(+) NC-02 Ellmers
(+) MO-04 Hartzler
(+) NY-19 Hayworth
(+) TN-06 Black
(+) WA-03 Herrera

( ) FL-24 Kosmas -> Adams
( ) SD-01 Herseth-Sandlin -> Noem

Correction: Melissa Bean (IL-08) is going to lose, so Ann Marie Buerkle is not enough. It's minus one, with some chance of further downside in NY-25 and AZ-08. And the Senate is still flat, unless Maria Cantwell loses on absentee ballots. I think that's all, unless I've forgotten more new women coming into safe seats, like Diane Black.

------Update from Cynthia------

Thanks Anna Belle-----I guess it's a big victory lap for the R's for making progress and a big raspberry to the D's for not protecting their female flank. The party for women keeps doing the same old same old and is not only not making any progress in many years, they're now moving backwards.

Whoever was naughty or nice in the 2010 midterms, we've got to do a heartfelt rah rah for the good news and then work like hell to do better. Even if it is a wash, for how many more years are we content to sit at 17%?????

I'll be addressing this whole thing in depth in the next fews days......

To me, these numbers are critical-----in a year when we had more women running than ever, we just couldn't get them across the finish line.

Can anyone argue that we are moving forward in getting more women elected? These numbers tell it all. Thanks to Joshua for taking the time to tally them up!!

As promised, I have a new piece that you will be reading in the next few days that will redefine what feminism is for the second decade of the 21st century and will also give a remedy. We can complain all we want, but complaints without action are nothing.

We MUST do better in getting more women ON BOTH SIDES elected, or it is a lie to tell our daughter and granddaughters that they can be anything they want to be. Stay tuned.......

Just Like A Kid At Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Ruccia) — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 19:58:00 +0000

T'were just days before midterms

And through Hillary's lair

Her people were waiting

And saying a prayer.

We're waiting, just waiting

And holding our breaths

Hoping the results from next Tuesday

Will get us out of this mess.

The mess for us really

Isn't what you would think

It's not really all about

The usual every day stink.

We've watched for two years

And some months if you're counting

Waiting for our moment

While the complaints just keep mounting.

We watched while our party

The Democratic one

Was taken over by martians

Because of them we were done.

"What happened?" one might ask

"Why what did they do?

Are you certain the martians

Aren't really just you?"

We Hillary folks

And there are lots of us you know

Were expected to take

A very powerful blow.

While our Democratic Party

The one that we loved

Allowed the sexists

To give us one humongous shove.

The Obama campaign

And all of his minions too

Told us to just to shut up

And that "we don't really need you."

We don't care that you've done party work

For all of these years

We're the new gang in charge

You women had better be dears.

Not only don't you count

We Hillary people were told

All that women's lib stuff

Is just way too old.

We don't need you with your

Ridiculous notions

You're getting too uppity

All those feminist potions.

Hillary was great

Except for one thing

She wasn't quite perfect

You know, Bill and his bling.

It was just more important to make

Racial history now.

Women and history?

You're just a bunch of cows.

We're sick of your whining

You've already gotten alot

Having a woman president

Well, that isn't so hot.

Well they took us right out

Many thought that they stole

The election I mean

And threw us in a hole.

You'd better join us

The martians they said

Cause if you don't

You're as good as dead.

You're raaaacist, we were told

For not going along.

What you want doesn't matter

Was their number one song.

Well let me tell you something

We fought the good fight

To get rid of the martians

We fought with all our might.

And although we lost that round

Some two years ago

We haven't forgotten

What we went through, ya know?

We were the first ones to see

That our emperor had no clothes

We were the first ones to say

Under the bus he will throw...

He'll throw all of you there

We just happened to be first

And you'll be really mad

We know about his curse.

We watched two years ago

All that dancing in the street

It sickened our soul

Cause we know that that feat,

Of winning that election

Was done on our backs

The hell with the women

They're just a bunch of hacks.

We learned that our country

Isn't ready for women to lead.

In fact you can use them

To accomplish your evil deed.

Cause no one really cares

If women are elected.

They're stupid and strange

Their value undetected.

The martians had learned that

Women are split and more

And they used us against ourselves

To get what they came for.

Oh enough of that

Let's get back to the bus

Cause in the ensuing two years

Lots of folks have joined us.

Under the bus came the

Left and the right

Under the bus the folks in the middle

All itching for a fight.

The Obama administration

Kept insulting us all

Not just we Hillary folks

It wasn't us after all.

If you didn't go along

With all the they wrought

You were stupid and racist

And meaner and, well, bought.

So all of us stupid

And miserable folks

Who had grievances and differences

Have gone ahead and spoke.

ENOUGH President Obama

With your nose in the air

We have decided that

You just don't really care.

So we Hillary folks have

Waited for some relief.

Our hearts they were broken

And we've felt alot of grief.

But we're tough, the Hillary gang.

We're tough and we fight

Activists all,

We knew this wasn't right.

We've been waiting it out

For the past two years and some

A message is coming

From all of us "dumb".

Cause all over the land

We've been waiting to speak

And the big day is coming

From all of us geeks,

The message is this

O martian intruders encumbered

You reap what you sow

And your days are just numbered.

You didn't really believe

That you could diss us all

To get what you wanted

So you could stand tall?

Oh well, election day

Is almost upon us

And we wait excitedly

Like little kids at Christmas.

We hope that the message will ring

All through the land.

November 3 will define

A new beginning for our band.

To bring us together

You really shouldn't diss

All that hope and change

Just really went amiss.

Meanwhile back in Hillaryville

We are praying a chant of our own.

It's time for our history

To be realized full blown.

A woman president

Well it's about time

And when it happens

That will be the end of our rhyme!!!

T'were the days before midterms

And our prayers are like this

Let's have the biggest tsunami EVER

And it's OUR butts you'll have to kiss.

The Evidence is Too Easy to Find These Days

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Ruccia) — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 13:48:00 +0000

Of the two Cynthias on this blog, I am not the researcher, nor am I the one who makes the beautiful graphics that make our pieces better to read. I'm more the idea person, and I'm in the middle of writing a piece defining feminism for the early 21st century with a HUGE assist from Thia who doesn't like it when I give her any attribution at all. You'll be seeing more of this piece soon----promise!!!

But today, Thia has a busy day and won't be able to attend to blog business, and I just have a few things to say about the state of women in late 2010. No fancy research accompanies today's article, and no gorgeous graphics until Thia has a minute. But, the sad thing is that no research is needed to remind us every single day how bogus the claim of women's equality has become. Many elements in our society have gone to sleep at the switch when it comes to the subject of women's equality, lulled by achievements that have become old and unfinished.

I was on my elliptical with my iphone reading my various news apps a little while ago when, bored, I decided to click on my Newsweek app. Lo and behold, two articles immediately jumped out at me proving the point that women are much further back than they think, that our old strategies have run women's rights "into the ditch" to quote a popular analogy, and that neither political party is the party of women.

First up was the article entitled "The 15 highest paid Charity CEO's," and guess what? Surprise, surprise--------of the 15 highest paid, there is only ONE WOMAN!!! That person is #11 Deborah Borda of the L.A. Philharmonic with an annual compensation of $928,232. Not only are women underrepresented, but the only woman in this cohort is paid roughly one third of what the highest paid Charity CEO makes, Zarin Mehta of the New York Philharmonic with a salary of $2,649,540. So once again women make up only 6% of the leadership at the top and are paid quite a bit less. One more example of the fact that women run hardly anything in our country.

The second piece, which was the lead piece, was a lament by Eleanor Clift that women are going to lose ground in representation in the House and the Senate this year no matter what happens. We will lose ground for the first time in a long time. You can read it for yourself at www.newsweek.com.

Egads----we already rank LOW on the scale http://politicalwire.com/archives/2010/10/20/us_ranks_low_in_female_representation

for female representation---#90 according to this source. How low will we go after this election?

The point so simple, and that is that if you continue to do the same thing, you're going to continue to get the same thing. And that same thing is very little progress. Oh yes, we've made some progress. But since when? Women are still running very little in this country of ours. And we're concentrating on the wrong things to achieve parity. Maybe losing seats in Congress will be the wake up call we need to develop new strategies to achieve parity at the top.

I've got alot of ideas on this subject, and you'll be hearing about that soon. The time is ripe for women to make a bold new plan and take a bold new leap. The evidence of our lack of progress is sadly too easy to find these days........

Breast Cancer News......

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Ruccia) — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 19:39:00 +0000

I'm feeling GREAT!!!!!!! Although I'm not 100%, I bet I'm around 90%, and it won't be long until I can enjoy my 100% feeling terrific------at least for a little while.

I'm so excited!!!! I am up to around 3 hours of exercise a day, and although it isn't as tough a regimen as I'm used to, I'm getting some of that conditioning back, and I even get to start running and swimming on Wednesday!!!! OMG----I feel like a total blob, and I'm happily looking forward to getting that exercise high back. Having experienced a bunch of drugs designed to make you feel good (morphine---which is great!!), NOTHING compares to the runner's high. Not morphine, not walking, nothing.

I was able to do an hour on my elliptical machine today (Dr. Gordillo-----if you are reading this, I did NOT use my arms!!! It was all lower body-----promise), I did an hour and a half on my bike machine, and I did 100 stomach crunches. I also plan to walk an hour or more later if the weather cooperates. I've been doing all of my physical therapy exercises, and I've got almost the full range of motion back in my right arm where the lymph nodes and breast were removed. I am woman hear me roar!!!!

I'll be starting my chemo roughly on November 23, a couple of days before Thanksgiving (and Dr. Lustberg---if you are reading this, I'll be in touch sometime this week to hammer out the details). A week ahead of the chemo, I'll have a port implanted into my chest for the chemo infusions. I'm guessing that that procedure will put a cramp in my exercise style for a few days, but, heck, this good time I'm having is of tentative length. The reason I'll start so close to Thanksgiving is because if all goes according to plan, I'll be finished with the rough chemo about one month before the second wedding. Since this wedding will require travelling to the beach in North Carolina (hard job----but I have to do it :+)), I'd like a little respite from the expected fatigue I'll probably be having at that point so I can weather the trip and wedding as well as possible.

The wigs are purchased, and Jeff, my wonderful hairdresser, is fixing them up for me. I just LOVE Jeff. He's saved me more than once over the years. I first met him in fall of 1994. My hairdresser abandoned me exactly ONE WEEK before I was to shoot my first campaign commercials. I was in a total panic because I had been told that my hair is difficult to style-----and she goes AWOL on me at such a critical time? I walked into a local salon and there was Jeff, and he said'"Don't you worry about a thing. I will make you look fabulous for your commercials," and he did. And now he assures me that he will do the same this time-----and I believe him!!!!

Interesting that hair---or lack of it----is such a huge focus of breast cancer. You'd think it would be----well, breasts. But it turns out, everyone wants to talk about the hair part of it. OK everyone----from all your suggestions, here's what I've ended up with:

1) a wig just like my hair is now---
purple streaks and all

2) a wig just like my hair is but with gorgeous electric blue streaks, something my own hair won't do.

3) a running wig. Well, that's not exactly right. I've got a khaki baseball cap with hair hanging down from it. I've always thought those young girls running around with their ponytails swinging back and forth looked so cute and perky. Well, I can run with a ponytail too now!!!

4) a wig in a totally different style----a bob in my normal color. No one will recognize me!!!! But Jeff is fixing it so nicely, and I'll be able to add colored hair extensions to it depending on my mood. We've got purple, blue, and we're looking for pink. And the other day I saw lime green----now that would be fun!!! Doesn't that sound cool?

The implant that I have in my chest is interesting. It is technically called a skin expander, and as my doctor said, it has felt like I have a steel-belted radial tire on my chest where my boob used to be. Not comfortable, but getting more comfortable with every day. I'm still sleeping sitting up most of the time because it's too uncomfortable any other way. This skin expander is kind of like a partially filled balloon. It hardly has anything in it just yet, but I went in for my first "fill" last Friday (they like to call it "Friday Fill Day" to make it more festive). The expander has a magnet in it, and the nurse, Chrissy, finds the magnet with another magnet, marks the spot, pokes a needle into the opening (painless), and then attaches this huge syringe filled with saline solution. We put a little bit in every week until it is filled up to the size I want. I had 10cc's put in last Friday, and next Friday I'm going to live on the wild side and put in 15 cc's. You can just see the breast expand. I'll have "boob equality" in no time!!!!

Lastly, I just want to say a word about my health insurance. It is such an explosive topic right now, and ideologues might take a potshot or two at me for saying what I'm going to say. But the heck with them. I am a woman out here with great health insurance who has breast cancer. I feel very fortunate to have gotten this now when my insurance is covering the exact protocol that my doctor recommends. Who knows if my insurance will be able to do the same, say, 5 years from now? No matter how your ideology goes, the fact is NO ONE absolutely NO ONE knows how this new healthcare bill will actually impact us regular folks. It is very scary. The U.S. has one of the best breast cancer survival rates in the world. Will it continue to be that way?

Now, I am NOT talking about "death panels" and all of the code words that partisans like to bandy about for their own purposes. I only know that every day I read about how some company is announcing cuts to their health insurance coverage based on future changes mandated by the healthcare bill just passed. Whether they should be doing it or not is entirely beside the point. They are doing it anyways, and we need to face reality there. My own health insurance carrier, UnitedHealthCare, announced last week that they were going to do a study on breast cancer protocols to try to come up with protocols that they will cover that are more cost effective. That's why I'm glad that if I had to have breast cancer, I have it now instead of later. How would you feel in my shoes? Would you hold on to your ideology, or would you be grateful to be getting the coverage you need to prolong your life? It's a no brainer to me.

Well, that's all from cancerland for now. Just do something every day to make that day special!!!!!

Three P's, Three M's

noreply@blogger.com (Cynthia Ruccia) — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 18:39:00 +0000

I woke up today to an excellent article written by our friend Anna Belle Pfau over at her blog peacocks and lilies She addresses a subject that needed to be addressed and that is how to respond to women (and honestly men too) who like to taunt women who vote for women as "vagina voters".

For those of us who are beyond frustrated at what we see as a complete disconnect in our culture concerning women's parity, this article opened up some new ground to reason with those who like to disagree with our point of view. Anna Belle rightly asserts that we need these women (and men) marching with us in order to reach our goal of equal representation in all walks of life in the United States. She gives a Three P strategy to help us find common ground with our antagonists-----she calls it percentages, policy, and patriotism. Rather than paraphrase Anna Belle further, why not go over and read her piece for yourself?

Anna Belle and I are often chewing over the same stuff (as are all of us!!!), and she always dazzles me by putting many common ideas together into a fabulous whole, and stating positive positions to move us forward instead of staying in a negative rut.

I just love that!!

I'd like to add Three M's to her Three P's. Her argument is well thought out. Her solution offers logical resolutions that appeal to both the mind and the soul. My addition is to stake a little bit of middle ground because inevitably, someone has a bee up their rear about someone, and we need to face that reality. I propose that we emphasize my Three M strategy in conjunction with Anna Belle's Three P strategy-----

IF MOST WOMEN VOTE FOR MOST OF THE WOMEN MOST OF THE TIME,
parity will be ours.

I've heard my detractors-----"c'mon Cynthia----isn't that a little self-defeating? I mean you're giving people permission to not vote for women!!"

To that I answer------

1) it is not any of our place to give "permission" to anyone to vote for anyone

2) we don't want people to not vote for women just because they are upset with one of them (it can and does happen!!)

3) how often does it happen to all of us that when we get into the voting booth, we just don't know who some of the candidates are in certain races and we don't know who to vote for? Vote for the woman!!!!! Using Anna Belle's reasoning and slipping in the voting for most of the women most of the time, even the most intransigent among us might just use that as a reason to cast a vote when no other reason exists to vote for either candidate

4) yes, it is a wonderful ideal to always vote for all of the women. I strive for that myself at all times. HOWEVER, we need to encourage gender voting, and we don't need to burden anyone with guilt for voting for 90% of the women instead of 100% of the women. We need to make women feel empowered that by voting for most of the women, they are indeed making a very valuable contribution to a future where women will hold 50% of the power positions in our country and take their rightful place at the table. It hasn't happened yet.

As I watch the shenanigans this election season, I am still shocked (why can't I get over being shocked?) at how we are still exhibiting incredibly horrible values as we degrade women and debate about whether we should or not (it's called sexism). I'm hoping that as we continue to keep this dialogue going and NEVER EVER SHUT OUR MOUTHS, we will get this heinous sexism out of our system as a nation. Yes, it shouldn't be happening. Yes it is beyond shameful. Yes it is astonishing how women support sexism (it's like being beaten and denying it is happening---how sick is that?). But our days of being silent are over. The dialogue over sexism won't be quashed by mocking those of us who won't be silent about it. Not any more. Call us "women's libber's," call us angry old women, call us stupid, and yes, call us vagina voters.

We won't be shut up so easily.

So let's talk about our differences. Anna Belle gives us a wonderful framework to move the discussion along. And everyone-----if you can't vote for all of the women, vote for most of the women most of the time and let's change the course of history. Three P's, three M's.

It's that simple.

Ohio Girl's Field Goal Record!

noreply@blogger.com (Thia) — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 14:31:00 +0000

Ohio girl's field goal believed to be longest by female in a game!

From WKYC in Akron...

AKRON -- For Firestone High School football coach Tim Flossie, it was a no-brainer.

With just two seconds before halftime and the ball resting outside the opponent's 25-yard line, Flossie called timeout and looked down the bench for the team's smallest player -- kicker Alana Gaither.

"I really didn't know how far it was (for a field goal attempt)," Flossie said. "You know, just kick it, what the heck."

Ellet High School had just scored a touchdown, cutting Firestone's lead to 21-6.

"I was like, 'Coach, I'm feeling good,' " Gaither recalled telling Flossie. "I can do it. I know I can."

Gaither, a senior, and holder Jordan Shaffer, lined up for a 43-yard field goal attempt. Gaither took a three-step drop and eyed the goal posts one last time.

"Before (the kick) it was like, 'you'd better not miss it because you could make history here," said Gaither's teammate, Tommy Brown, an Ohio State recruit. "Then she kicked it. I was just like, 'Wow, I knew she could do it.' "

Gaither's soccer-style kick easily cleared the crossbar. Some people who saw the kick have estimated that it may have been good from 48 yards.

But the 43-yard field goal could be plenty long enough to be a national record for a female kicker made during a high school game.

Separate records for female football players are not kept in Ohio.

"I called a couple of people at the (Akron Beacon Journal) to check it out," Flossie said. "And they said, 'Well, that looks pretty good (as a national record for a female).' Hopefully, it stands up."

Gaither, who also plays soccer during the fall, was recruited by Flossie three years ago after no one from the boys soccer team was interested in the kicker position.

"I went over there and saw these girls kicking the heck out of the ball," Flossie said. "And she was the youngest one and kicked it the farthest.

"And she was bugging a couple of coaches, like a week later, for a bag of footballs," said Flossie. "And we gave it to her. And she's done it by herself."

Gaither taught herself how to kick field goals by practicing at least 30 minutes a day, four days or more each week, during the summer months.

For extra points, Gaither, a soccer kicker, takes two steps back, and two steps laterally away from the football. For field goals, she takes a three-step drop.

And Gaither is accurate. This season, the right-footed kicker has made 27 of 29 extra point attempts and four field goals, all over 30 yards.

Firestone, with a 4-3 record, is hoping to reach the state playoffs.

"She's like money in the bank," Flossie said. "Even when we kick in practice, she'll go 40 yards back and put eight out of 10 through (goal posts)."

"I feel like we're very fortunate to have a kicker like Alana," said running back Cody Grice. "I look around the city and it's like only one or two schools that have kickers."

"Oh man, she's phenomenal," Brown said. "To just trust (a kicker), that's amazing. I love it."

Gaither, who carries close to a 3.8 grade point average, hopes to play soccer in college. But football isn't out of the question either.

"I've gotten a handful of (football recruiting) letters," Gaither said. "I'm sure that half of those might not even recognize that I'm a girl."

Gaither has made over 50-yard field goal attempts while practicing with friends and family members.

"She's really confident, calm," Flossie said. "You know, if I asked her to kick a 50-yarder, she'd take a shot at it."

But for Gaither, the best memories are not the kicks, but the friendships she has made with her football teammates.

"If there's anything I want people to get out of this story," said Gaither, "it's just how well my team has treated me during this entire experience.

"A lot of them have grown to be my best friend."