Too Much Time On My Hands

The Worst Story I Have Ever Written

dayjobsandnightmares@gmail.com (M. Robert Turange) — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 21:15:00 -0500

He blamed his family, his upbringing.

How could he possibly live up. His oldest brother was a famous Sergeant known throughout the world. The attention was stifling.

To make it worse, there was also a famous Doctor in the family. All of that money, power, and luck concentrated in a single family proved almost too much to bear. Lightning had struck twice in the family, would it strike again.

He definitely saw it in his little sister. She was nicknamed Red because of her fiery personality, and many people avoided her. Even the ones who liked her had to admit she was a cultivated taste, a little outside the bell curve of appreciation.

His birth name was Fred, but because he was the black sheep of the family, he gained the nickname Black.

Black Pepper.

And he was wanted with assault.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays 2010!

dayjobsandnightmares@gmail.com (M. Robert Turange) — Tue, 14 Dec 2010 20:36:00 -0600

I am pretty sure I won't get back to the ol' blog until after the first of the year. So I thought I would break the internet in half with the sheer cuteness of this picture.

Hope everyone has a happy holiday season!

Some web comics I like

dayjobsandnightmares@gmail.com (M. Robert Turange) — Wed, 3 Nov 2010 20:51:00 -0500

There are two. One is Ferocious Introvert.

Seriously, this comic about the grilled cheese shame spiral is sublimely wonderful. Some really good stuff there.

The other one is Hark! A Vagrant. The Dracula comics made me laugh so hard, especially these two:

Repost from the FAIL blog - what I saw at the Halloween store

dayjobsandnightmares@gmail.com (M. Robert Turange) — Sun, 31 Oct 2010 15:19:00 -0500

see more funny videos

Day 30 of 30 - Blogger's Choice

dayjobsandnightmares@gmail.com (M. Robert Turange) — Sat, 30 Oct 2010 08:39:00 -0500

Long Way Home by Tom Waits

Well I stumbled in the darkness,
I'm lost and alone
Though I said I'd go before us
And show the way back home
There a light up ahead
I can't hold onto her arm
Forgive me pretty baby but I always take the long way home

Money's just something you throw
Off the back of a train
Got a head full of lightning
A hat full of rain
And I know that I said
I'd never do it again
And I love you pretty baby but I always take the long way home

I put food on the table
And roof overhead
But I'd trade it all tomorrow
For the highway instead
Watch your back if I should tell you
Love's the only thing I've ever known
One thing for sure pretty baby I always take the long way home

You know I love you baby
More than the whole wide world
You are my woman
I know you are my pearl
Let's go out past the party lights
Where we can finally be alone
Come with me and we can take the long way home
Come with me, together we can take the long way home
Come with me, together we can take the long way home

Day 29 of 30 - Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days

dayjobsandnightmares@gmail.com (M. Robert Turange) — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 08:38:00 -0500

I hope to live another year. Life is pretty good right now, and I always get a little nervous and neurotic when I am too fortunate for too long. Hopefully, I can just work through the nerves and enjoy being happy.

I want to be a good father to the Little Peach Pie in my life.

I want to finish the many many many sequels to my book I have sketched out.

I would like to make a short film, or have one of my scripts optioned or made into a film of some sort.

I would like to be in a place where I indeed have Too Much Time on My Hands so I can write an occasional blog entry.

I think that is enough for now.

Day 28 of 30 - This year, in great detail

dayjobsandnightmares@gmail.com (M. Robert Turange) — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 08:37:00 -0500

December 21st, 2009 - Margaret is born.

January and February - On paternity leave while taking care of the new baby. Take many pictures.

March - Go back to work. Get on a plane to California. Get elected to the board of the Dallas Screenwriters

April - Finish California assignment. Get a work from home assignment.

May - Finish a work from home assignment.

June - Back in California.

July - Going to Canada for work. Swim lessons with the kiddo begin.

August - Have interest expressed in one of my web series pitches. A producer and I have a series of phone calls and emails about this. A completely different producer expresses interest in a feature film pitch I sent her, and asks me to send her a copy of the completed script. However, I don't have a script, just the pitch. So I focus on writing the script.

September - Back in California for work. Do a lot of writing. Do some job interviewing, with mixed results.

October - Resign from my travel job in favor of a non-travel job. Take my kiddo to swim lessons. Finish that script from August, but the producer who showed interest has moved on. I now have a script for sale for any interested parties, and it is AWESOME! Also, in October, I completed a blog challenge.

Day 27 of 30 - This month, in great detail

dayjobsandnightmares@gmail.com (M. Robert Turange) — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 08:35:00 -0500

October -

I take the 30-day blog challenge. I don't like the "in great detail" command of the last week's worth of blog entries and instead decide to just brainstorm random facts about the month for one of the entries.

Sunday nights, I fly to Northern California (primarily San Francisco, but I go to Fresno and San Ramon as well). Thursday nights (and sometimes Friday mornings) I fly back to Dallas. I alternate my clothes so one week I am wearing browns, and the next I am wearing blacks. My dry cleaner loves the business.

Saturdays are swim lessons with the kiddo. She is teacher's pet, and one day I really want to post a video of her swimming. Some where in there I cook dinners.

On Friday the 8th, and 15th, I visit the site of my new job and get orientated. On Friday the 22nd, I am there full time. Also on that date, I give my exit interview at my old employer.

I shop for a Halloween costume for the kiddo. I am really disappointed in the options available for the 6 to 12 month age, and am really surprised at the over-sexualized children costumes in general. I am definitely a parent now, hissing slightly to myself that, "No daughter of mine is leaving the house wearing a 'Sexy Little Girl Devil' costume."

(I secretly suspect, based on these really terrible children costumes, that the Halloween stores only hire sex offenders and pedophiles. The employees certainly don't looks like happy people, especially considering they are surrounded by such morale-boosting merchandise like fake fangs and candy. I suppose, like rodeo clowns, they must be troubled souls, channeling their aggression and rage into a marginally acceptable career in the hopes that society will accept them for who they are. I would like to say that deep down inside, I accept them and that I am not one to judge. However, I AM one to judge. Sorry, you unhappy probable-pedophile Halloween store workers. That is how the candy corn crumbles. Some yokel with a blog judges you and says some terrible things to the five people who will read this. Never fear, he will probably apologize once he sobers up and realizes what a horrible mistake this entire paragraph was. Even though it is in parenthesis and should not be taken seriously. Bottom line - the Halloween store creeps me out. In more ways than one.)

I write at least one blog entry while drinking. (Hint: It was this one.) Then I rest. So ends October.

Day 26 of 30 - Your week, in great detail

dayjobsandnightmares@gmail.com (M. Robert Turange) — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 08:34:00 -0500

The Week of October 17th, 2010

Sunday - Play with the kiddo all morning. Fly to San Francisco. Realize I forgot to pack my toothbrush when I check into the hotel that evening. This revelation happens about 11pm San Francisco time, which is about 1am my body time.

Monday - Work. Get toothbrush. Drive to Fresno for work. Actually, this day is detailed in this blog entry.

Tuesday - Work. This is a big day on the job. We have two training classes, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. Lunch is fish tacos, which are delightful. That night, I slink off to see "The Social Network." I really like the film, particularly the sound design. I am upset that they still haven't figured how to apply make-up to people being films with those nifty RED cameras. This film looks better than "Zodiac" or "Mission Impossible 3," but there are still quite a few scenes where it is obvious all of the dudes are wearing rouge.

Wednesday - Drive from Fresno to San Ramon, where my company gives me a going away lunch. This week is my last week at my previous employer. I absolutely love my previous employer, and am grateful for the lunch. I spend the evening grading papers and writing reports about the training course.

Thursday - I finalize my work for the project I have been working on this week. I complete a series of documents and load them onto the network. I say good-bye to everyone. "I wish I had a chance to work directly with you," one co-worker says. My response? "Just imagine the best work experience you have ever had and project that feeling onto me."

Friday - Exit interview with old company, first full day with new company. The new company really appreciates the fact that I gave a two-weeks notice, but really wanted me to start immediately. So I have been doing some general onboarding and orientation for the past two weeks, which is more difficult than it sounds considering most of it was over the phone and with two time-zones between me and the company. Still, it is good to be at the new site. I get a badge and am, once again, disappointed in my badge picture.

Saturday - Day or rest. I take the kiddo to swim practice and then work on some coding for work. My Rock Band 3 keyboard comes in a few days early and I try it with Rock Band 2. It doesn't work, so I will just have to wait a few days until Rock Band 3 arrives. I make some mac and cheese casserole from this cookbook, and go to bed stuffed and happy.

The End

Day 25 of 30 - Your day, in great detail

dayjobsandnightmares@gmail.com (M. Robert Turange) — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 08:34:00 -0500

So here's my dirty little secret about this whole blog challenge -

I write the posts in advance and then schedule them to be published on the specific days. I started this in early September in anticipation of an October 30 deadline.

So, when I go into my day in great detail, it will not be today or yesterday. It will be Monday, October 18th.

Monday begins in Sunday for me. My 7pm flight to San Francisco from Dallas was delayed until 9pm. Which means by the time I get off the plane, get my luggage, ride BART to my hotel, and check in... it is 1230am Pacific time. This is 230am Central time.

So when I begin my Monday by snoozing the alarm for a full hour (from 6am to 7am), do not judge.

Between 7 and 8am, I get dressed and ready for work, drop by the bagel place for a bagel, go to the ATM and load up with cash for the week, and get to the office. While walking to work, I listen to the Creative Screenwriting podcast (the movie they discuss is RED).

At the office, I begin answering emails, submit an expense report, and begin revisions on one of my assignments (an end-of-course assessment I wrote has some feedback from a manager). Already, I have removed 2 items from my daily To Do List (Expenses, ATM run).

The next part of the day is prepping for the drive to Fresno (I have to be there Tuesday morning). I set up my Android phone to map me to the hotel. I print out a copy of the map, just in case. I go get on Facebook to make a "funny" comment on a screenwriter's status. (She wrote, If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I'd like to do is to _______" and I responded with "Mix it with some tequila and call the drink 'Hammer Time.'")

At 1030am, I make a run to Starbucks for a jolt of coffee, and I continue to work until noon, when I head towards the airport. I don't get on an airplane, but instead rent a car and drive to Fresno. On the drive, I listen to the audio book for "The Murder Room." The book is interesting, but a little fragmented. It doesn't have a story as much as a series of vingnettes. That is ok, though because it is a non-fiction that profiles several members of a club that solves crimes.

I check into the hotel and do a few more phone calls and emails. I have some friends who live about an hour outside of Fresno, and they graciously decide to visit me while I am in town. We have dinner and go shopping at Costco, where a nice older lady gave me cheese sticks.

After dinner we all go back to my hotel room, where we try to make each other laugh until about 10pm. Then my friends leave and I go to bed.

The End

Day 24 of 30 - Blogger's Choice

dayjobsandnightmares@gmail.com (M. Robert Turange) — Sun, 24 Oct 2010 08:29:00 -0500

Day 23 of 30 - A YouTube video

dayjobsandnightmares@gmail.com (M. Robert Turange) — Sat, 23 Oct 2010 08:27:00 -0500

Day 22 of 30 - A website

dayjobsandnightmares@gmail.com (M. Robert Turange) — Fri, 22 Oct 2010 08:25:00 -0500

I love short films, and the Everynone website features some really brilliant ones.

They are short, powerful montages that really show off the power of great cinematography and editing.

I found this site through the NPR show Radiolab, which occasionally features their films.

WORDS from Everynone on Vimeo.

Day 21 of 30 - A recipe

dayjobsandnightmares@gmail.com (M. Robert Turange) — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 08:25:00 -0500

From the Unibroue beer website.

Sautéed Shrimp with Beer and Cilantro

Beer : Blonde de Chambly
Ingredients
- 1½ cup peeled shrimp (fresh or thawed)
- ¼ cup Blonde de Chambly
- 1 red onion, finely chopped
- 1 red pepper, finely chopped
- 2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
- 2 tbsp. butter
- Fresh cilantro
- Lime (optional)
Directions
In a skillet, fry onion, garlic, and pepper in 1 tbsp. of butter for about ten minutes. In another skillet, sauté shrimp in the other tbsp. of butter. Once shrimp are fully cooked, add beer and reduce slightly. Add sautéed veggies to shrimp and beer mixture. Serve with fresh cilantro and a squeeze of lime juice.

Day 20 of 30 - A hobby of yours

dayjobsandnightmares@gmail.com (M. Robert Turange) — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 08:24:00 -0500

Screenwriting!

I have several scripts as well as some pleasant inquiries from producers. I am also on the board of the Dallas Screenwriters Association. For what I consider a reasonable fee, I can review your script and give notes. For an even larger, yet reasonable fee, I can help you write your script.

I also have a book of screenplays available here.

Day 19 of 30 - A talent of yours

dayjobsandnightmares@gmail.com (M. Robert Turange) — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 08:23:00 -0500

I prepare food.

Not this food, but I have cooked up some stuff in the past.

I will also let you know that I have this rare and unusual talent to make food that tastes AMAZING but always winds up looking like a big pile of slop. Like when I make polenta (like the type pictured above), it never holds together enough to stack it up. But it tastes good.

So... yeah... This is my talent.

Day 18 of 30 - Blogger's Choice

dayjobsandnightmares@gmail.com (M. Robert Turange) — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 08:22:00 -0500

Day 17 of 30 - An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)

dayjobsandnightmares@gmail.com (M. Robert Turange) — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 08:22:00 -0500

By James Michael Starr

Day 16 of 30 - A song that makes you cry (or nearly)

dayjobsandnightmares@gmail.com (M. Robert Turange) — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 09:19:00 -0500

Exhibit 13 by the Blue Man Group

http://www.exhibit13.com/

The Blue Man Group's tour for 'The Complex' is by far the best performance/installation art piece of the last 20 years. By drawing parallels between the rock concert experience and tribal rituals/proto-religion, the Blue Man Group illuminates and reflects on unexamined aspects of contemporary life. Plus, they have very a very solid instructional design aspect behind their experience. (As an instructional designer, that makes me incredibly happy.)

Their first encore (and the last song on their album 'The Complex') is an instrumental ditty called 'Exhibit 13.' When I first saw them perform it, they played an enigmatic video of paper falling on a screen while padding out the music. The crowd went nuts, whooping and hollerin' (remember, this concert was in Texas), and cheering through the song.

On the second leg of the tour, when they came back through Dallas, they did the same show with the same encore. Except this time, instead of cheering and laughing through 'Exhibit 13,' people were somber, quiet, and reverent. I think some of them even started to cry.

What caused this change? The only thing I can think of is that people visited the Exhibit 13 website and found out that the song is about September 11, 2001, and the bits of charred paper displayed in the video came from the World Trade Center.

In the past decade, I have been shocked numb by images of the towers exploding. Now when I see them, I get angry - not at what happened, but at the person or organization who is showing them to me in hopes that my emotional reaction will somehow sway my thinking to their side of whatever debate is happening. Those images are too loaded and political now, and they have lost their power over me.

But the scraps of paper...

Every day, we leak. We leak thoughts. We leak emotion. We leak information. And we are surrounded by people and things who catch our leaks. Our loved ones ask us what is the matter. Our computers record our emoticons. And our paper...

I spend my day surrounded by paper. I fill out forms. I write reports. I document the world as I see it. There is a tactile sense to paper - and somehow writing down things on it make them more real.

This song and this video make the pain real. There is no way getting around it. There is no way to sugarcoat it. And this particular presentation of certain events is very difficult to politicize; all it shows is a document of a series of lives that were suddenly and brutally disrupted.

Day 15 of 30 - A fanfic

dayjobsandnightmares@gmail.com (M. Robert Turange) — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 08:17:00 -0500

"Don Vito Corleone isn't an issue anymore. He's an old man. He's weak."

"Which is why we need to take him out now. Don Vito is vulnerable."

"Even if I agree with your logic, which I don't, what would be your brilliant plan?"

"Poisoned orange peels."

"What?"

"We put some poison in the orange peels. He pops them in his mouth and - BOOM! - the man keels over."

"Why the hell would a man like Vito ever put orange peels in his mouth?"

"Are you kidding me? What old man doesn't love putting orange peels in his mouth? He has grandkids."

"Grandkids?"

"You know. To chase around in the garden."

"With orange peels in your mouth?"

"Exactly."

"Ok, let's pretend your poison orange peel plan works, which is a real stretch of my imagination. Who could do it?"

"There is only one man who could pull it off. He's what you would call a specialist. He makes good food deadly."

"You don't mean..."

"Get me Chef Boyardee."

Day 14 of 30 - A non-fictional book

dayjobsandnightmares@gmail.com (M. Robert Turange) — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 09:16:00 -0500

I spend more time reading non-fiction than fiction books. Since I married a wonderful person, I have been reading more business books than I ever thought possible. Two books that are the cornerstone of my professional life are The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and Flawless Consulting: A Guide to Getting Your Expertise Used. I recommend these two books to anyone who is unsatisfied with his/her career.

But that is not what I want to talk about. My current favorite non-fiction book is How Not to Make a Short Film: Secrets from a Sundance Programmer. This book is filled with practical advice for the filmmaker. It is a great companion book to a certain 26 Short Screenplays for Independent Filmmakers. It is insightful and funny, and you get a good sense of the author as a creative person instead of a faceless automoton barking orders on how to be creative.

Roberto Munroe has made a few short films and has programmed a few film festivals. She knows what she is talking about and doesn't mince words. This is the type of book I love love love.

Day 13 of 30 - A fictional book

dayjobsandnightmares@gmail.com (M. Robert Turange) — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 08:14:00 -0500

Here is the current book I am reading (and loving!):

The Savage Detectives by Roberto Bolaño

I haven't finished this book yet, and am only about halfway through. However, from what I have read so far is very impressive in terms of craftsmanship and ambition. It is supposed to document an entire South American literary movement known as "visceral realism." The first section is a series of journal entries from a visceral realist poet, but the second section is where it goes off the deep end in an amazing and wonderful way.

The second section of the book is a collage of newspaper articles, academic journal entries, correspondence, and interviews all intended to document the entire visceral realist movement. This literary collage jumps from author to author, each with a different intent and voice. It is incredibly ambitious and could fall flat in many places. Surprisingly, it does not, and gets even more compelling as I read further.

A cursory glance of the Amazon reviews show that people either love or hate this book - there are almost as many five-star reviews as one-star reviews. I can understand this - the book contains a story that could only take the form of literature. This is a celebration of life and language and the way great words shape and influence our lives.

Day 12 of 30 - Blogger's Choice

dayjobsandnightmares@gmail.com (M. Robert Turange) — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 09:13:00 -0500

Another rant, this time about comics. Apologies in advance.

So I read Wolverine: Old Man Logan on the recommendation of the Alter Ego Comics podcast. Most of the time, their recommendations are pretty solid, but this book is the personification of everything I dislike about current super hero comics.

Specifically, I did not like the following:

The In-Jokey Nature of the Entire Story

To put it blintly, the over-dependence on backstory is ridiculous.

So many of current comics reward and praise their extremely core audience (or, as I call them, The Super Fans!) often at the expense of the new reader. So many moments of this story make no sense unless you have been actively reading Marvel comics for the past ten? twenty? years. You have to come to the story with an encyclopedic knowledge of the characters and the relationships for the story to have any emotional impact whatsoever. The story itself does not draw in you in, but instead expects you to bring your own emotional baggage to the table to be manipulated.

One of the exchanges that leaps to mind is the exchange between Emma Frost and Old Man Logan. Unless you have been reading X-Men comics and know about Emma Frost, Logan, and their relationship, the drama of the moment makes no sense.

If this were a movie, this is the point where every casual viewer leans over to the hardcore fan and whispers, "Who is that lady and why is she so mad?" The book needs annotations for the uninitiated, and when the narrative drive and emotional context exists only in the footnotes and annotations, that spells real trouble for a storyteller.

The Rampant Mysogony

During the course of the story we see the following female characters (and the story's attitude towards them).

Maureen, Logan's hard-working sturdy pioneer woman/wife (Saint) who's main purpose seems to be becoming a martyr so Logan breaks his vow of pacifism. She is such an underdeveloped character, she barely merits a name. I am sure most people who read this won't remember her name is Maureen, just that she is Logan's wife.

Hawkeye's damsel-in-distress daughter who desperately needs to be rescued (Saint)...

...but then turns out to be a major villian (Whore).

Emma Frost, a traitor who everyone hates (Whore).

And, uh... that seems to be it. Three women, no real characterization, and the attitude towards them is either one of extreme idealistic love or extreme hate. Plus, they are all defined by their relationship to men. Even Emma Frost, who was a fairly independent character in other comics, is now primarily defined by her marriage to Dr. Doom.

The Non-Conclusion Conclusion

The story ends with Logan walking off into the sunset, wandering the earth looking for adventures. This is not a satisfactory ending, but instead a set-up for an ongoing story. This is the ending of a television pilot, not a satisfactory ending of a solid book. So you have a story without a real beginning (because the beginning is really the backstory) and without a real ending (because this is just a set-up for another story).

Yep. This is not enjoyable or satisfying at all.

The Over-Reliance on Cultural Stereotypes
Comics are not realistic; they simplify and streamline. They also traffic in stereotypes to convey a meaning. Great comic creators are aware of this and use this aspect of the medium to their advantage.

However, in the hands of a reckless artist, this can be incredibly offensive. I am thinking of the conclusion where Wolverine confronts the most horrible evil ever known to man, the cousin-screwing redneck.

My personal convictions don't favor a grand concluding statement expressing that the best way to approach the poor and uneducated is with a good ass-whoopin'. Seriously? This is heroic? I was disappointed to see that the story concludes with the violent smackdown of a one-dimensional idiot and his even more one-dimensional inbred idiot children.

I just didn't care.

***

The ultimate praise I can give a comic is that I pass it along to someone else, telling them, "Oh man, you GOTTA read this!" This is one of those comics I am afraid to show someone else, because the inevitable response will be "You... like this?"

This is not my desired response.

***

Having said all of that, I will say the comic gave me some rare and fleeting moments of pure nerd joy. I am talking specifically about this panel:

This is a picture of dinosaur with alien skin.

I repeat.

A dinosaur with alien skin.

Oh my inner thirteen-year-old's brain just goggled at the possibilities of that sentence. That is freakin' cool. Not cool enough for me to recommend this comic, but still, pretty freakin' cool.

There is a time and place for certain types of entertainment. I honestly wish I was in a place where artists were creating stories that I found engaging and I would, in turn, shower them with money. Right now, the super-hero comic market and I are in different places.

Day 11 of 30 - A photo of you taken recently

dayjobsandnightmares@gmail.com (M. Robert Turange) — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 09:13:00 -0500

Day 10 of 30 - A photo of you taken over ten years ago

dayjobsandnightmares@gmail.com (M. Robert Turange) — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 08:58:00 -0500