TOOFL - The Opinions of Francis Lake

Tiger Woods

2009-12-19T15:22:00.003-05:00

Link in title.

Everyone knows what's going on with Tiger Woods and his wife. Turns out she's seeking divorce. Whatever, I really could care less. He's a dumb ass and she was probably a miserable bitch. Here's why I write.

These women in Tiger's life saved messages, emails, voice mails, and whatever else they could save from him. Women, you are just as fucking responsible as the men are for these affairs.

I don't mean the women getting cheated on, I feel for you. You probably didn't push your men away from you into the arms of another man... wooh... I mean woman (I'm keeping that mess up because its funny), probably. I'm talking about the women that slept with Tiger and other married men. It takes two to tango, ladies. Unless Tiger slipped some Spanish-Fly in your cosmo and you woke up wearing a tiger driver cover on each hand and a sore ass, you're just as to blame as he is. Here's a quick aside, I read of another affair the other day in Page Six, NY Post gossip section. The mistress called the guys wife and identified herself. She [the mistress] said she felt like an injustice was being done [and her confession was helping set things right]. Give me a fucking break! You women are parading around like you're fucking saints and not the fucking whores you are. You are all whores, nothing more, nothing less. The men too, you're man-whores. I hate that these women aren't held accountable, here's what I propose.

A marriage is a legal binding contract between a man and a woman, maybe someday (once we get out of these ridiculous dark times) between a man and man and hopefully between two very hot women. Anyways, when any party in the marriage breaks their vows, essentially voiding or breaching the contract, they are subject to civil penalties. I think that in the case of infidelity, being that there is another outside party who knows this person is married, this third person (man or woman causing the spouse to cheat) should be subject to pay out civil punitive damages. What I'm saying is Tiger's wife is suing him. She should be able to sue the shit out of these fucking women who slept with Tiger.

I know what some people will think. This would cause women or men to not come forward and admit their affairs, probably. But more likely, once we see that people are losing everything for a little dick or pussy, they would think twice before jumping in the sack with a married man or woman. I'm not asking for new laws, I'm just asking that the current one be reevaluated or applied to represent these times. Hell, football teams (college and pro) get fined all the time for talking to a prospect before the allocated time whether due to restrictions or contractual obligations. The same is for married people, if you do something with a third party when your current contract says you can't, you both get fined. Think about it.

I feel bad for the people who get cheated on. Nothing is more humiliating. However, I fucking hate that these women are getting off free of any consequence. Men too, I definitely mean men too, just understand that this posting was spawned from Tiger's fuck-ups. I would love to see things change a little to match the times. No more of this wild party, time for us all to take responsibility.

Chris Henry

2009-12-19T14:27:00.000-05:00

Link in title.

So its been ages since I wrote anything. This is probably the life that blogs take on when they are created. Maybe I'll try better, who know... who gives a fuck? Moving on.

I'm going to post two opinions today on on Chris Henry and the other on Woods. Read the title, this one's on Henry, asshole.

Let me start with the, "I don't want to see anyone die speech." Blah, blah, blah. This may have been natural selection at work. Boom! You didn't see that one coming, did you? That's kind of harsh but this guy was another piece of shit. Yea, yea he was turning his life around. The whole pick-up truck thing proved that (that was not really proof of his turn around). This guy was arrested five times, lets take a minute (more like five seconds) to count: 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. You officially ran out of fingers on one hand or toes on one foot... unless you're a freak. But FL, my thumb is not a finger and my little toe makes me uncomfortable. Touche. You won this round.

I really don't know anything about this guy. All I know is how he is a criminal and he probably learned it was okay to act out at an early age. He probably comes from a single parent, probably a mom, home; maybe a two parent home, who knows? He probably had no discipline at home and his parent(s) didn't give two shits about his schooling, people he hung around with, or any behavioral problems that manifested at such an early age. I could spend hours talking about how society needs to be fixed especially poor areas. I suppose when you're worried about food on the table you don't give a shit about your child's behavior. Keep in mind that this is all speculation. I haven't bothered to prove any of these assumptions.

So natural selection got rid of one more fuck nut in our world. His fiancée is also a piece of shit. She drove the truck that caused his death. I wonder if he jumped out like he threatened or did she do her best to toss him? Anyways, she is another sparkling beacon of hope that should have taken the swan dive too. I feel bad for the three kids left, now they're stuck with a temperamental psychopath who has no trouble with driving a person to their death, literally. Mom's a great role model kids.

Iran Confiscated Nobel Peace Winner's Metal

2009-11-27T17:53:00.001-05:00

Link in title.

Shirin Ebadi, Nobel price winner from Iran had her metal confiscated from a safety deposit box a few weeks back. According to Ramin Mehmanparast, spokes man for the Iranian Foreign Ministry, this was done as a penalty because she, Ebadi, failed to pay taxes on the $1.3 million dollar reward that comes with the prize. Ebadi feels that there are tax laws that allow her to keep the money without paying taxes on it and this was simply a response to punish her for her role in pushing for democracy in Iran and helping with the protest during this past election on Iran's president. The Nobel organization in Norway has been very critical of this move since this has been the first time in the 108 year history of this prize anything like this has happened, i.e. taking away the metal of a recipient, and has asked that the metal be returned to Ebadi.

Here's my take: be fucking grateful that we don't live it that fucked up country. This lady is a rebel rouser in her home land and the government is trying to fuck her. She protested unfair human rights practices and the corrupt government and they said, "You talking to me? Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? You gotta be talking to me because I'm the only corrupt government in the room. Let me prove how corrupt I am and find a way to hurt you." Seriously, this type of corruption is the type that topples governments. The people will eventually get fed up with this shit and there will be a civil war. Always bet on the North. Where was I, they wanted to quiet her protest of fraud and corruption so what did they do? They acted in such a manner that only amplifies her protests. Ebadi, this is exactly what you wanted to happen. This only makes you stronger. If by taking my shit, the government only made me stronger and a more sympathetic persona, then take my shit. My underwear is in the top drawer, left side; my favorite t-shirt is the AFA gray one bottom shelf; and my gay porn collection is... never mind I want that.

Here's something to think about that would actually scare the shit out of me, is this government (Iran) just oppressive assholes like so many before them or are they just a big entity without any real fucking control? Seriously, is this act something that president (I didn't capital that because he's an asshole) Ama-jackass-ima-jon (I didn't spell it right because he's still an asshole) sanctioned or is there just so many fuck-nuts running around with unchecked power that they think that they can do whatever they want? Seriously, too many chiefs not enough indians? It's okay I'm Cree, I can say that. That second scenario is what frightens me, a influential government in the region of the world that is a breeding ground for butt-fuck-jack-wads that has no real central control and is attempting to gain nuclear power.

Listen, it's easy to say this is just one little incident. Yes it is. But there's one little incident in all of our lives that can lead to a major problem if we don't take care of it. That feeling of having to take a shit. Either you take it or, (1) you get plugged up for a long time and life sucks or (2) you wait too long and you're that guy that shits him self. Bad example but a little warning sign that can signal a huge potential problem. Seriously, go shit if you have to.

Jordon's Response to Jester Jame's Shallowness

2009-11-21T02:16:00.001-05:00

Jordan said, "It was very nice... I'm a guy that says there's no one great payer in the NBA. You know, the NBA lasts longer than one particular person. I understand what his point is and you know, Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Bill Russel, all those guys should have their jerseys retired too. I understand his gesture, I'm in the same group as those guys. I wouldn't want my jersey retired unless you're going to retire those guys jerseys too."

LeBron, this is how a real man acts. Jordan knows he was great but knows that he is just one of many great players. I would like to point out he says that the NBA is bigger than one person. I would also like to point out that Jordan says it's a nice gesture. I think he meant to say that you're name should be Jester James not King James. You bitch!

This quote came directly form Michael Jordan when he and I had a sit down to discuss this situation. Not really. Watch Sports Center, that's where I got the quote.

Baron Davis Is a Bad Ass MoFo

2009-11-21T01:35:00.000-05:00

His Wiki is is in the title.

So Baron Davis plays for the L.A. Clippers, the red-headed step child of Los Angeles. Did I spell that right, all of a sudden the spell check on Firefox sucks more cock than a room full of Village People impersonators. Seriously, it comes up with some kind of weird shit. Anyways, LAC played the Nuggets tonight. Davis only had 12 points and 9 helpers but that's not the point. He's just a bad mofo. I love, like a room full of Village People, his look. He's got this badass old school beard. The name Baron Davis. How cool would it be to be a Baron? That's a fucking retorical question butt-hole! The only thing cooler than being a Baron would be a real titan, not the football player but a semi-god that throws lightning and shit.

Baron, if you're reading this (you're not because you're not that other guy who reads this blog) you're offically my favorite player. Jester James, you suck little cock you little bitch.

Clarification

2009-11-20T01:04:00.001-05:00

I don't control that ads on this dumb site. They're auto generated, I'm probably going to remove them because maybe 2 people other than myself read this damn site. There are two main types of ads on this site: Muslim and gay. Here's how I feel:

I know most of my posts are sexist and probably a bit on the edgier side borderline to racism. But that's my site. I'm a white guy who honestly feels that we should be able to talk about and say what we feel without that little crunch inside our chests that alerts us to something we did wrong. This world will be a better place when we can express ourselves freely but respectfully. That means understanding that this forum I write on is not for everyone. I know some people out there can't even say, "I'm white, you're black, you're gay, he's a Jew, etc." That must suck being a black, gay, etc., Jew. Someone's on the no fly list.

I'm not particularly fond of Muslims so I definitely don't support their dating sites. I find their culture unwilling to adapt. They seem to be bent on making all of us change. I don't agree with a culture that treats women so poorly. I understand custom and cultural differences but those customs were built by insecure men or maybe in a time that it was safer to cover and possess women. Seriously, maybe rape was a pass time or a game like hide-and-go-rape. I also don't get that they have so many groups that hate. These groups have religious references that they interpret as permission to go and kill. Unfortunately, these references are still mainstream within their religion.

We have our share of nut jobs. What we don't have are a bunch of reborn Christians crashing plains into towers, we don't have Mormons blowing up buses and subways (think London), we don't have Catholics going on shooting sprees on military posts, and we don't have Protestants in this country strapping on bomb vest in crowded markets. Point being is everyone has their nut jobs but this religion has whole segments that have one goal in mind killing us for who we are. Here's something funny, I think. If someone said Kum-bi-ya
really loud what would you do? If someone screamed Allah Akbar, you'd shit your paints.

With this in mind, how hard is it to look at these people and not feel concerned? I know this is racist propaganda, or at least sounds like it. Please remember I didn't say I hate these people, I don't. I don't want to. What I do want is some major cultural change to take place. I want their leaders to stand up and let the rest of the world know that they are not the terrorist and that they condemn these fuck-nuts. They also need to work on rewriting their material.

I don't give a shit about gays. You're a dude who likes the cock, good for you. You're a chick who munches the rug, enjoy. Here's a breath mint. Just know that we're living in a time similar to segregation in the south. We should be ashamed that this is even a debate. We don't debate separate bathrooms anymore, we shouldn't debate gay marriage.

My point is I'd rather have sports ads on my site because that's what's important to me.

LeBron Needs to Shut Up

2009-11-20T00:20:00.002-05:00

Link in title.

LeBron James, made a proclamation the other day that the NBA should retire Michael Jordon's number 23 for all eternity. He even said that next year he's going to wear number 6 to honor... something, who gives a shit? Probably to rub it in that his dick flops 6 inches to the floor when he stands up... on his tippie toes, on a bar stool. Mine's not 6 inches form the ground when I'm doing push-ups. Seriously, I even mean when I'm in the downward position half way through the damn push-up. Give me a break I'm white.

Also see this link, he also mentioned that he wants to play tight end for some football team. Jason Whitlock a contributor on Fox Sports dot com (I'm clever, I spelled the dot) also shares my opinion.

Whitlock's Opinion

Here it is: LeBron, shut the fuck up! I had hoped you would be that shining light in basketball that takes the attention away from all of the Ron Artests and what's the name of that black guy that plays basketball? Anyways he played for the 76's and just left his team, he's kind of short for a basketballer, came out of Georgetown... Allen Iverson. I really don't care enough to check the spelling on their names. I had hoped that LeBron would be that polarizing figure that people would look at and say, "best of all time." Instead he's simply showing his immaturity and turning off a lot of people at the same time. He's a great ball player but he is now thinking that he's bigger than the league itself. He now has let fame and fortune get to his head.

So far he's walked off the court after a lose to the Magic (a year or so ago) and said you don't congratulate the person who just whipped you. Yes you do asshole, it's called good sportsmanship. He is always bringing up trade rumors with the press, yet says he doesn't want to talk about it. Way to respect your team and coach. He makes this big retire 23 statement. Go fuck yourself, you're not so big that the whole league will buckle to everyone of your dumb demands. Now you want to go play football? Brain surgery, you can shoot a ball well, why don't you try brain surgery. It's all relative right? All the hard work every other professional put into their field is trumped by the fact that you happen to be good at one thing, ball?

I'm ticked off because I'm disappointed. You played an act for the first few years of your career and we all bought it. Now the real James is coming out. The LeBron that is all about LeBron. Jordon was always a role model. He was good and we knew it, he knew it, everyone knew it. He didn't make social or political statements or was a sore loser. He was a role model that everyone looked up to. I'm willing to bet that your behavior is nothing then a reflection of your upbringing, but that's a different column. You're a shallow person James. Instead of King James, we should call you something that more reflects you, Court Jester James.

Woman May Face Jail Time for Walmart Scuffle

2009-11-16T22:27:00.003-05:00

Link in title.

Here's the gist of the story. This black lady, Heather Ellis, is at Walmart waiting in line and grows impatient. She leaves her line for her cousin's line, in the process cuts other people waiting whose patience are being tried with the lines, and throws her items on the conveyor belt. Keep in mind that another woman had already had her items on the belt prior to Heather jumping a head of her and placing her items on the belt. The customers and this lady who was cut began complaining, the store employees tried to intervene, and finally the police had to come take her out of the store. During the incident, she claims the customers, employees, and officers were mistreating her due to race issues. Heather reached out to the NAACP and rallies have already happened. However, during this event, Heather kicked an officer and split another's lip. Heather Ellis is being charged with assaulting an officer, an offense that can have a maximum of 15 years in prison.

According to AOL:

Ellis maintains she was merely joining her cousin, whose checkout line was moving more quickly. She claimed in a written complaint to the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People that she was then pushed by a white customer, hassled by store employees, called racial slurs and physically mistreated by Kennett police officers.

Police say in court documents that Ellis refused requests to calm down and leave the property, allegedly kicking one's shin and splitting another's lip while resisting arrest. Her trial on charges of assaulting police officers, resisting arrest and disturbing the peace begins Wednesday in Dunklin County Circuit Court.

Here's my take: lady, you acted like an asshole. You thought you and your situation was more important than other people's circumstances. You were obviously ticked off, probably because you're a dumb bitch to begin with... scratch that, I'm willing to bet you're one of those angry bitches. I'm willing to bet you're one of those people who if given a chance you fight. I'm wondering when was the last time you took a minute to cool off... fucking never. Anyways, you were pissed off your line was going so slow. I'd even bet you were pissed that your line was the one that was going slower compared to your cousin's. You're probably competitive and this was a slap in your face. Where were we? Oh yea, you're an asshole, you think you're better than everyone else, you are a competitive dip-shit who was pissed off at being inconvenienced, and you acted the wrong fucking way but you would never back down. Never say sorry. Never even ask if you may skip ahead to check out with your cousin. The best part gets its own paragraph... but not yet.

D-bag, yes you Heather, I have cut lines before if someone I knew was in it. Not at the moment where they were almost checking out. Even if in your culture that behavior is acceptable, it may not be okay in someone else's. No respect. You are like my ex, always fucking right, can't even hint that you may disagree, and blows up like I'm inspecting my gas cap on my Boeing 74(fucking)7 with a blow-fucking-torch. Do you see what I'm getting at? Crazy volatile. Not your run of the mill flaming shot or combustible fuel, I'm talking jet, burn hot, easy, and quick fuel. Anyways, that's you. Here comes the best part. You wouldn't even back down when management stepped in to help. Finally, when the po-po show up, you realize you can't possibly win so you play... wait for it... wait for it... wait for it... The Race Card. P.S. this next section is why I mentioned she was a black lady.

Like a game of Poke-fucking-mon, "I choose you Disgruntled Piku-angry-black-chu!" You piece of shit, you were so in the wrong and the last move you had was the race card! You're picking on me because I'm black. Go fuck yourself. You want equal rights then don't pull this shit. Someone said, "Excuse me, but you just cut me." You heard, "Execute you, black, black, black." It's people like you why we can't fucking get along. We all want to be treated the same until it suits your needs to be treated different. You're an asshole, you treated others like assholes, they treated you back like one and now everyone else is racist... just not you.

Protesters At the Obama's Kids' School

2009-11-13T02:30:00.000-05:00

Link in title... like I gotta tell you.

The two Obama girls are going to a private school outside of Washington D.C. On an almost regular basis you can find protesters outside with their agendas, everything from the war to gay marriage. However, most of the article focused on a protest from the Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas who were protesting gays, gay rights, being gay... I don't know because the article said some of the things they were saying were not school or newspaper appropriate (article is from the Washington Post). Anyways the story focused on educators', administrators', parents' and the kids' take on the situation. One funny thing was you can see the kids protesting across the street from the protesters holding sighs like, "There's a little God in everyone," and, "I kissed a girl and I liked it."

Here's my take: I didn't vote for Obama not because he's a Democrat but because he's black. Kidding, I supported another candidate for political reasons. However, I support my commander in chief no matter who's in the White House. And if he wanted to drop a nuke on these asshole supporters, he's got my get-er-done. How in the fuck can you justify harassing children? How can you make them feel unsafe or scared because you don't agree with another student's dad? There has to be some boundaries. If you can't set them yourselves with some common decency then they should be set by laws. The educators etc. said this is a teaching moment. I doubt all the children can see the benefit in that. Hell, I still don't see the benefit in taking my paints off in my dentist's office but I still do it. I'd bet some of these kids are scared shitless.

Here's an idea. Charge all this dipshit protesters with some type of sex crime. Say they're verbally abusing these kids. Next thing you know, they can't go within 1000 ft of school grounds, maybe lose jobs, friends, lives, whatever. That'll teach these fucks.

The protester-cock-wads featured in this tidbit were protesting something about gay is bad. This next part is for you waste of carbon lifeforms. God doesn't give a flying fuck if you're gay, black, tall, short, or have good fucking hygiene for that matter (please do). Do you know what God's like? Watch the Watchmen movie or read the comic. Dr. Manhattan is so immune to human emotion or humans for that matter for most of the story. That's how God is. He is indifferent. He is this all powerful being who exists outside our 4 dimensional plain we think is the end all, be all. God's plan isn't to take your new born baby, His plan isn't to give your mother cancer, and His plan is certainly not to hate anyone or anything. Those emotions are human. His are incomprehensible. For anyone to question that would be to say that God is flawed. Here's another quick fact for you assholes, the books we read about God... man wrote. Biased man wrote and interpreted these books. But here's the double edged sword, God doesn't give a flying shit that you dickwads exist either so that's why you're allowed to breath. You're allowed to protest the President's kids' school because you live in America. I beg you. PLEASE! Please go protest outside Iran's President's Kid's school. I'd love to see what happens.

Speaking of the 'Kissing girls poster'. Kate Perry, I'm a girl. Please kiss me. Or at least you've been a celeb long enough. Time for the tits to come out or at least an unintended vag shot.

Woman Driver Slams Into Fish Tank At Airport

2009-11-11T01:51:00.000-05:00

As always the link is in the title.

This lady, 36-year-old Yamile Campuzano-Martine, with her six year old on her lap lost control of her pick-up and slams into a fish tank at the Tampa International Airport. The tank was a 1500-gallon salt water tank which contained about 50 fish. Both her and her child survived however nearly 90% (30 - 40) fish died. P.S., she did over $200,000 worth of damage.

My turn: really?!? First off you fucking moron, why is your kid on your lap? Second off lady, how did you lose control of your pick... what, never mind I answered my own question: kid, you're a woman, and the fact that your (probably) a foreigner. FL, you say, what how do you support your argument and why does it sound all kinds of wrong? This is how.

Women are weaker versions of us men. Kidding... no really I am. Some women do very well under pressure. I have a felling she wasn't one of them. Kid in your lap. The little shit was probably squirming all around and hit the damn accelerator. The most important point is foreigner. I hate to say it but you should see how these people drive from other countries.

That sounds dick but it's true. It's not because of the fact that they aren't American, it's the fact that most of these countries don't have the same laws and ability to enforce driving regulations. When you live in a country that needs to worry about drug lords toppling the government and local authorities you don't have the resources to set up speed traps and sobriety checkpoints. This then breeds a culture where driving recklessly and with kids on your laps becomes the normal. They come to this country and get licenses to drive. I don't know if we make them test for the little plastic cards or if they can just transfer the right to drive but I suspect it's probably a combination of both. Meaning that some countries probably get a pass and only have to fill out paperwork and show a valid license while others may need to test. Point being is if you've been doing something for some time one way, it's pretty hard to change habits... especially when it means that by changing habits, you're admitting that you and your country have been doing it wrong.

I'm not this big world traveler but I have been to a few places. Here's an example. I spent some time in Costa Rica and was allowed to rent a car. While traveling between towns, the other drivers were, in my opinion, out of fucking control. They drove these dirt roads like it was a GD rally car competition. If other countries were anything like this, how can we expect them to slow down and drive/respect our road rules like we do? We really can't.

Here's what I'd do if I was in charge. We put teen drivers through a lot before they get the keys to mom's minivan. We should put foreign drivers through a much more rigorous process. Why? Because we're not just teaching they to drive we're breaking them of their nasty habits. They may or may not have had the same training as we did but what they did have was some type of reinforcement of techniques that became, to them, common sense road rules. Hey, cutting off someone's hand for stealing a loaf of bread may have worked in your home land but it definitely does not fly here. I hope this dumb C U Next Tuesday never drives in this county again... I'm sure our fish support that thought.

Fort Hood Shooter

2009-11-10T00:22:00.001-05:00

So we knew this article was coming, I just had to reconcile some thoughts.

This article talks about this Ft. Hood shooter, Nidal Malik. Basically the feds have been following this guy's e-mails for a while as he interacted with Anwar al-Awlaki a radical and hateful cleric in the Muslim religion. At this point we do not know what those interactions contained however it is assumed that there may have been a breakdown in communication between the Army and FBI. The link as always is in the article title.

My view: I'm a former soldier who served for six years plus two inactive and this breaks my heart. I cannot comprehend why we Americans are so hated in the Muslim world. I was reading a very interesting essay today regarding views on our country from it's conception and why we may be hated. If I can find it again I'll post the link.

I want to point out one thing that this guys actions are those of a small sect of radical Muslims. Not all Muslims feel the same way as he does. This is not the act of Arab people just a radical group of religious zealots.

That being said religion throughout history has spawned wars, violence, murder, killing, torture, and all types of crazy mayhem that should blow our fucking minds. Let's take my religion for example, Christianity. For decades upon decades we pursued a cause called the Crusades. These wars were fought to expand the territory of England into the Holy Land, to collect money and gold, etc., and to reclaim holy sites and possibly artifacts of religious significance. Some think that adding the name God to these wars was to simply justify their existence. My point is that I'm sure there was doctrine that justified these wars and bloodshed that validated these actions. But we've changed. As Christians we have gone in a different direction and our church and it's leaders have followed. I can't find anywhere in our book that justifies war and death. In fact all that I find are stories teaching us how to better ourselves and to live a more peaceful life. The Muslim religion on the other hand still contains messages of hate and violence.

I don't have the exact quote but I love this example. Someone withing the Muslim community quoted their material saying (I'm paraphrasing) that you can get retribution against those who have wronged you but you will get double the reward in the afterlife if you let it go. They were discussing this d-bag killer and his actions. Just the fact that this quote offers some form of condoning or approval of these actions go to the heart of this religion. Hate and death are okay and allowable. Maybe that isn't the mission statement but it is still in there. This religion talks about Jihad and how it it the duty of every Muslim to protect and fight for the religion. This is the battle cry of every nut-job whack-a-doodle with a bomb vest, AK-47, home made bomb, airliner, and box cutter. I would think that the leaders of this religion would change with the times. Keep their old documents locked away in vaults like the Vatican does with their old materials. At the same time mature and grow with the times, create new dogma or definitions that their followers can adhere to, but no. They don't do this because there is no real central figure leading the masses. There is no one capable of unifying their followers and living in peace and harmony. They may not be centered in hate but they are certainly surrounded by it.

This fuck-nut murderer was off the deep end years ago. The military protected him because we believe in law and our constitution and the right of everyone to have free speech and freedom of religion. But what did he do, he murdered people. The same people who gave him the right to think how he wanted were the ones who ultimately were the victims. Now, Muslims will pay the price. They will be scrutinized like never before. He may have killed a few people but all he really did is cost the many their freedom. The military may have fucked up with allowing this jack-fuck to go as far as he did but now no one will ever be allowed to even close to where he did. I guarantee that you'll see much less Muslims in the military and from now on we'll see more arrested and shipped to detention centers.

I'm so sorry for the lost solders and civilians that were caught up in this disgrace. The memorial service will be nationally syndicated tomorrow (today). Watch it. I'll say one thing. I'm glad this guy lived because his new name is going to be example 101. Enjoy your last moments on earth.

I Took Some More Time Off

2009-11-08T23:43:00.002-05:00

Alright, so who in the fuck do I think I am? The Backstreet boys didn't take this much time off and weren't able to come back. Because I'm poor, the hotel I stayed in didn't have internet. It was a step above a hostile. Just a little step. My bed was the size of the bench seat in the front of a 1970 Ford F-100 pick-up truck. That's why I wasn't able to write.

So I just spent some time expanding my culture in the big UK, England (old), British Columbia (no that's Canada - stupid), umm, I meant Great Britain.

Here's my guide to the British: drive on the other fucking side of the road! Isn't it funny how the only jackassses in the world who don't know what fucking side to drive on all live on islands: Japan, Britain, and Australia (I know you're a continent [I had to do a Google search to figure out how to spell that word - look my first thought within a thought] but you're just a big fucking island with no roads leading to other countries that matter). You say FR, England has the Channel Tunnel or the Chunnel as we like to say. And I say touche to you. But that's new-ish. Much younger than fucking cars. It's fucking weird and hard to cross the streets because you look the other way and SMACK you get hit by some space age fucking hybrid. Grow up you pussies from those wrong side driving countries.

Lets talk money. England has the Pound which is their version of the Dollar, only it's worth more. One Pound = $1.55 - $1.79, give or take. They also have the Pence which is their version of our Cent. Here's what confuses me. Their pounds go down to 5 in bill form. Next they have the 2 Pound coin and the 1 pound coin. Next they have: 50, 20, 10, 5, 2, and 1 Pence coins. All in all they have 7 crazy fucking coins. That's one reason they hate us Americans, because we stand like retards at a register trying to pay for a stick of gum with 400 different coins.

The women are hotties, I won't lie. They all dress in that Eruo trash look and all the guys are in these skinny stretch jeans that they also wear baggy. Knock, knock. Who's there? You can't droop spandex asshole.

It may seem like I have more complaints than I have good things to say but that's really not true. Driving, money, and style are all I have negative to say. I harp because that's what I do: I harp. The places I visited were so damn clean. They have this subway called The Underground (while expensive) is so fucking clean and in my opinion efficient it blows my fucking mind. I'd cook a hot dog on their 3rd or 4th rail (they have 4 rails) and eat off the floor it's so GD clean. The only thing stopping me is the fact that their trains are so often and on time I wouldn't have time to make my dog rare. Their taxi drivers are so professional. They have to train for three years before they get to drive. The cabs are clean and don't smell like falafal balls. Did I mention the hotness? I'd live there in a heartbeat.

Expand your horizions and visit some other nation other than Datona Beach

FL

Mike Williams Wide Receiver for the Orange is a No-Go

2009-11-04T01:07:00.001-05:00

Sorry I didn't write yesterday... I was on sabbatical from myself. If you were me, you'd need the time off too.

Link in the title. Here's the breakdown: this article has a few bits of stories. The one I'm focusing on is Mike Williams and his no-go at Syracuse. Basically, this guy is a great talent. He is one of ten finalist for some award that to the common man means shit but to him and the rest of the football universe, is kind of a big deal. This guy, however, doesn't give a shit about school. He was academically suspended and probably is similar trouble as we speak so he's basically gone from college ball.

Here's my take: we need to start caring more about academics with similar intensity as we do about sports. If a guy or gal can play and is successful, we tend to forget about what really is important that a collegiate athlete has two responsibilities: grades and sports. We should not allow this guy to go to the next level. We should send a message that if you want to be part of something greater you must earn it. I'm sure he works his balls off in the gym and on the field. But by reading his response that he posted on twitter, he doesn't give a shit about school. Don't reward this guy with a 7 or 8 figure contract, make him earn it by being a productive member of society on both fronts. The worst part is this d-bag is going to procreate and and spread his message to a new generation. That's our fucking loss if we condone and support it.

Major Update

2009-10-30T03:35:00.001-04:00

Go check out the article on Arnold.

Michael Jackson Played With Little Boys

2009-10-30T02:41:00.001-04:00

The Link Above Has Court Transcripts From Michael Jackson's Trials, Click The Title and Read.

I am so fucking tired of seeing ads for his movie, "This Is It". (I get confused. Do I put the period in the quotes or not? I'm not quoting someone so I shouldn't put the period in there because the quotes contain a title and the title doesn't have a period. I hate you grammar!!) I'm so fucking fed up with anyone supporting this piece of shit. I'm so disappointed in all of the black community for their public support for this monster. Read the transcripts, he molested children.

My take (hold on to something this one's strong): let me clarify one thing so I don't piss-off my buddy Token. The black community is usually conservative with their decisions. They want less taxes, support the military, have huge numbers involved with the church (percentage wise it's so much higher than whites), support the death penalty, etc. For this community to embrace this child molester, this pedophile, this predator , blows my fucking mind. Had this been any other person, they would have been burning him at the steak like 16th century Massachusetts and the witch trials. Not to mention, he spent his entire life bleaching his skin. He lied to world when he had white kids.

Here's a free biology lesson for all you kids. If you lose a finger or a toe or an eyeball in an accident and you choose to have kids 5 -10 years down the road. They will be born with all their fingers and toes and eyes (pending no complications). Traits are passed from DNA and every once in a bluemoon we find mutations. What I'm fucking saying is you cannot change your physical self and pass that on. You cannot make yourself white and then make white kids! I cannot tattoo my entire body blue and have blue kids. An example of a DNA mutation is a specific 32 base pair deletion in human CCR5 (CCR5-Δ32) confers HIV resistance to homozygotes and delays AIDS onset in heterozygotes. This is also suspected in helping part of Europe survive the bubonic plague centuries ago... not white babies from bleached dads.

Everyone, this guy raped kids. Little boys were his preference. If you read some of the transcripts you see that he never let one of the boy's sisters in his room, just the boy. This man should have been arrested and locked up. This goes to show, if you have money and fame you can get away with whatever you want. I'm not going to get into detail about what he did but it turns your stomach. And if it doesn't you probably live in a house with one of the red dots when you look on the sex-offender registration website map.

To the celebs endorsing this fucker, you all are proving how really stupid you all are. You are saying that you promote the disgusting acts this monster did. I'm thinking that your acting guild card is really a NAMBLA membership. Maybe all of you like touching kids. Kate Perry, you were at the opening night of his movie... I'll dress up as a kid and you may touch me... Please!

We cannot deny that his music touched us all. Hell, I downloaded some of his music after he died. Some of us it touched in the private parts, the no no dirty area, or whatever you call it. However you cannot separate the pedophile from the man who made the music. You cannot separate him from the act of shunning the community from which he came. And most of all, you cannot support, forgive, or forget what this cocksucker was... he was a cocksucker, of little ones.

Another Test

2009-10-29T22:52:00.002-04:00

I don't give a shit about this article I'm just testing another stupid site.

Blogger Sucks

2009-10-29T22:31:00.001-04:00

I can't post any links to articles that I'm writing about. There is no way to get some fucking help from Blogger to let me know what the fuck is going on. That is why I haven't been posting anything today.

Fuck You Blogger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quick Note

2009-10-29T02:18:00.000-04:00

So I go back to read my posts to see if they make any sense. I'm a fucking retard today. I guess I was too busy watching my Yankees get mopped up by Cliff Lee and those NL Phillies. NL stands for naughty lesbos not National League. I usually go back and fix them but I'm done tonight. I'm all out of Crystal Meth and coffee... me and Agassi were hanging out.

I'm going to bed... with a homeless man I met. He's smelly but warm.

Rapper Pays Girl $1000 to Leave Concert

2009-10-28T21:59:00.000-04:00

This is the second time this God Damn site won't let me attach the link to the article I'm reporting on. Did I say reporting? I'm fucking Clark Kent... not actually fucking him just that I am him and we're not doing but it is okay if that was what I was into and who am I or you to judge... forget I said anything.

Anyways a rapper not a raper was doing a show down at Florida State University and was about to do a really raunchy song. He sees this girl out in the audience and pulls a wad of cash from his pocket and pays her to leave.

Rapper Piles did a good deed during a recent concert at Florida State University. After noticing a young fan in the crowd he paid the little girl $1,000 to leave.

This link was on AOL by the way.

My take: awesome. No one should have to listen to rap music. Kidding my brother loved the chronic CD. This guy comes from a culture where they treat women like 'bitches' and 'ho's'. I wish I lived there. But he had the chance to do the right thing because he felt it would have been wrong to let her stay. I don't necessarily agree with the 10 Benjamins but to each their own. Too ofter you find adults who don't care enough to do the right thing when it comes to other peoples children. In fact it has become common that if you were to discipline another child, you run the risk of getting in a fight with the parents. How fucked up has this world become when we don't and can't help each other.

The Governator Tells a California Law Maker How It Is

2009-10-28T21:05:00.007-04:00

So I haven't posted yet today because I'm a lazy fuck. My bad. Now I'm pissed because this GD post won't save due to illegal characters. What the fuck does that mean? Fix this shit you stupid mother fudger. Trying to keep it clean. Anyways, if this stupid link doesn't work go look on AOL for this article.

Arnold Schwarzenegger was invited to a democratic fund raiser in San Francisco a little while back. This one d-bag, freshman lawmaker kept yelling 'Liar' and booing and all sorts of shit while Total Recall was making his speech. Since then this prepubescent San Fran pussy has tried to pass a bunch of laws and they got vetoed. When the Last Action Hero vetoes a bill, he likes to include a reason why he vetoed the bill. This most recent note from the Kindergarten Cop had a hidden message spelled in the left column. They didn't show the message but I'd imagine that it looks something like this:

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not sure if he included the exclamation marks but I would have.

My take on this: good for you T-800, Cyberdyne Series model 101. This little democratic shit is screaming like a coward out of the crowd. (To the limp-dick law maker) I would have jumped off the stage and kicked you in your balls... if you had any.

Here's why this story pisses me off so much: I don't remember the guys name but he was a Republican and he yelled at Obama during his speech and said 'Liar'. The fucking congress passed a bill telling this rebel GOPer he was bad. Imagine having a bill passed to say that you were bad. You being bad is offically a law. Fucking Awesome (in caps)!!! No officer, I can do what I want, I'm legally bad.

Anyways, I hate all law makers and people in any kind of authoritative position. There are a few I can deal with: Conan the Barbarian, Jesse the Body, and maybe McCain (maybe). The smaller your radius of authority, the more of a jack balls ass munch you become. Think a building board of trustees. A bunch of knob-swabbers that only rule over a few floors and a mop closet.

Eat me!

I just updated some crap that didn't make any sense. Do elves fart?

Update: I totally stole this pic from, probably my favorite website, www.wwtdd.com. Without further ado:

Larry Johnson Banned for Gay Slur

2009-10-27T15:54:00.000-04:00

Link is in the title.

This article has blown up over on Fox Sports. I'll tell you this much, the title says 'Banned Indefinitely' but the article doesn't go into much detail. Larry Johnson Chiefs running back, same ~~dick~~ Johnson that is on probation for getting into fights with women (hitting and spitting), tweeted about his first year coach Todd Haley and his lack of ability and experience. He went as far as to tweet about how Todd went to college on a golf scholarship and never played college or pro ball. Somewhere in his tweets he said fag. I think he was responding to someone talking about how he likes to hit women. He also called a reporter a fag when the reporter was attempting to interview him.

My turn: Larry Johnson is a piece of shit plain and simple. I wish I could say he came from nothing and his lack of a father figure and growing up in the ghetto were factors in his bad decisions, but I can't. His father played professional football for a little bit. Point being is at the very least he had a decent middle class up bringing.

Larry has a history of this type of behavior:

In 2003, he was arrested for felony aggravated assault and misdemeanor domestic battery for waving a gun at his ex-girlfriend
In 2005, he was again arrested for assault when a woman accused Johnson of pushing her to the ground
His third arrest for assault came on February 24, 2008, after allegedly pushing a woman's head at a nightclub
On October 10, 2008, Johnson was arrested for the fourth time and charged with one count of non-aggravated assault for allegedly spitting a drink in a woman's face. It was rumored that Johnson attempted to flee from police officers but was tackled after two yards. The woman involved, Ashley Stewart, has since filed a civil suit against Johnson, accusing him of negligence, assault and battery, intentional infliction of emotional distress and negligent infliction of emotional distress

The info above came from the Wiki page about Larry Johnson (this link)

Without trying to defend this asshole, I believe the term fag was used in the same manner had he chose to use the word asshole (just like I did above). I highly doubt he was attempting to slander someone who is part of the the LGBT community. So I think we should chill out and let people insult others as they seem fit. However I do recognize that someone in his position (and I don't mean hands against the wall) is representing the organization he is associated with, the NFL and they don't want to be known as the gay hating pro sport.

We need to weed out people like him. I'd prefer that we 86 him due to his tweets about his coach compacted with his peachy history of being a dick. However, I'm not against the NFL taking the same action if it means using the language he used against him. I firmly believe that we need to realize that a word that is associated with the term 'hate' is not always used in such manner. Sometimes a word is just a word. But if it means we can use his words against him towards the greater cause of making this world a better place, I'll put that idea on the shelve for this instance. Does that make sense? What I'm trying to say is he wasn't trying to insult a community of our brothers and sister who happen to like the same sex but with his reputation/past if using his own words against him we should kick Johnson where it counts... in his footballs.

Metallica Committs $50,000 to Help Find Fan That Went Mission After Concert

2009-10-26T18:31:00.000-04:00

College student Morgan Harrington went missing over a week ago after getting separated from her friends after a Metallica concert at the University of Virginia (click on article title for link). She had called her friends and said she would find her way home and that was the last anyone heard from her. Her parents have been keeping a very public profile, and with the injection of Metallica's money and publicity, hopefully the authorities will get some answers sooner than later. According to MSNBC/MSN:

Boosted by the $50,000 pledge from Metallica, there is a $150,000 reward for information that helps find Morgan Harrington. Police ask anyone with information to call 434-352-3467.

Here's how I feel: I'm very impressed by Metallica's commitment to finding Morgan. They don't have to help and they don't have to contribute money. I have always been a huge Metallica fan but now I have a new found respect for them. I don't want to make this all about them. It sucks that Morgan is missing. I would rather not be writing this post and would prefer to use this space to make steroid jokes about Mark McGuire's new gig as a hitting coach.

We need to pass harsher punishment laws for sex offenders and rapist. Cut their balls off. Plain and simple. Get rid of the organ that produces these hormones. If that doesn't stop these predators, then death should be the second punishment... or first if they finally get caught after multiple offense or commit murder or manslaughter during the offense. I'm not saying do that for a guy that has an office relationship and the woman now feels uncomfortable or a highschool senior is dating a sophomore and the parents have a problem with it, I'm saying kill the real offender.

Bye-bye twigs and berries or at least berries.

Women Confuse Me

2009-10-26T18:02:00.000-04:00

So today I hear this chick say, "I feel like a zombie." So of course, having just watched I Am Legend, I had to feel what a zombie felt like. This loca chica slaps me and yells for help.

How was I wrong?

MLB Shaking Up the Ump Situation

2009-10-23T17:54:00.001-04:00

See the title for the link.

So I've been pondering whether or not to say, "Happy Friday everyone!" Then I realized that I'm not a pussy. Don't you hate that when people say stupid pin button shit. You know like flair from Office Space, "Looks like someone has a case of the Mondays!" Moving on. I don't think that was technically on a piece of flair but it sounded like it could have come from one.

So everyone in the world who has an opinion on baseball is screaming for instant replay in said baseball. The umps this post season have been horrible. Seriously, like the first time I had sex with some other than myself horrible. This article is saying that due to the shitty calls, MLB is replacing the broke-dicks of umps they have working the games for experienced crew members that hopefully won't fuck up a fair ball by over a foot (ass munch called the ball foul - good for my Yankees bad for baseball).

Kind of like my fantasy of a world where I'm the only man and I'm king and the women fight for my seed; good for me, bad for the human race.

Anyways where was I, oh yea, so the umps fubar'ed a bunch of standard, fairly easy, calls. So the article says that MLB is going against their standard of using at least one (sometimes more) playoff inexperienced ump for the game.

Here's my take: I'm kicking myself for not posting my opinion earlier because it was almost exactly what baseball is doing now. Fuck this instant replay rule that people are crying about. Live umps are part of the game. Having a fucking robot call games is like buying a sex doll; while it may be fun for a first, you'll soon realize that life is boring without having someone to argue with. Seriously, who doesn't love to see Ozzy Guillen getting ejected because he's an asshole?

Where was I (that's twice today), that's right - thanks voice in my head, no the other one, yes you - screw replay. The umps through out the season are rated on how well they do, how many calls they fuck up. Take either the top four crews or the top 24 umps and have them work the ALDS and NLDS. From those four groups take the top two crews or 12 umps for the ALCS and NLCS. Finally the top crew or 6 umps for the World Series. Get it? You dumb shit.

I will say that when a play happens within a 10th of a second, sometimes it's not too easy to make the right call. That's all I'm saying to defend these shit bags, I used that already... these d-bags, better.

Alright, enjoy your Friday night. Don't take life, shit, opinions, or anything for that matter too seriously; it's all a fucking joke in the end. Oh yea, watch Law & Order or at least Tivo it. I don't care if you delete it, I just don't want the show to go off the air... 20 years, come on folks.

Michael Jordan's Son Refuses to Wear Adidas Shoes at UCF

2009-10-22T17:55:00.003-04:00

My new thing is this damn itch! Aside from that the link to this article is in the header, check it out.

Michael Jordan's son is refusing to wear Adidas shoes at the university where he plays basketball. MJ's son (is what I'm calling him because that is the only way we'd know him) only wants to wear his dad's shoes. By refusing to wear these shoes, he may cost the university $3,000,000 in royalties from Adidas.

Here's my take: MJ's son, you haven't earned shit yet. In fact all that you are saying is that you and your unearned ego are more important than the institution and the team you play for; which leads to you saying you're more important than your teammates. If I was the coach or the athletic director I'd say get the fuck outta here. Go to a school, non-rival, that has Nike sponsorship and play for them... or bench this little shit for his four years. He can sit on the bench barefoot.

Here is a question I have. If this kid is any good, how come he isn't playing for a real college basketball team line North Carolina, Duke, Louisville, UCLA, or Michigan State just to name a few? The reason why is because he probably wasn't recruited by any of those top basketball schools. MJ's son, you're a hack. Grow up, you're killing a wonderful legacy... sans that acceptance speech your father made in Springfield.

UPDATE (10/23/2009): How did I not say UCONN as a great college team?!? Someone chop off my nuts and call me asshole, or nutless but that'd be rude. Why would you say that to a man who just lost his junk. You jerk!