Top Four

Self-Deprecating TV Cameos

2008-04-02T09:47:00.000-07:00

What's more fun than celebrities playing themselves on TV? Celebrities playing unflattering versions of themselves on TV! And it's one thing to make fun of yourself via voice acting, but it's another to appear as yourself in person, so no Simpsons guest stars or Futurama heads in jars. And since a few shows specialized in unflattering cameos, I only allowed for one per show.

#4. Carl Weathers, Arrested Development: Apollo Creed, Action Jackson, the muscular guy from Predator who didn't go into politics. In the 80s, Carl Weathers was everywhere. In the 2000s, he was making fun of himself on Arrested Development:

#3. Christopher Hewett, Ned & Stacey: Largely remembered as the show that stole the mechanic from Wings, or as that show Debra Messing was on before Will & Grace, Ned & Stacey was actually a pretty decent show. Ned is an advertising exec who finds out he's going to be denied a promotion because he's not a family man. Stacy is looking for a cool apartment. The obvious solution, of course, is a fake marriage. If this sounds like cliched sitcommery (or worse, a little like 1987's I Married Dora), you're probably right. But the show was occasionally very clever, and even featured the talents of future oscar winner Charlie Kaufman in its writing staff.

And for those of you wondering who Christopher Hewett is, the title of the episode in question, "Saved by the Belvedere," should be a giveaway. Ned's putting together a commercial for a product called "Cappuccino in a Can," and decides that he needs TV's Mr. Belvedere to pitch it. Ned tracks him down, and finds that he's poor, living in a ratty apartment, and possibly in possession of massive amounts of stolen property. And when they begin filming the commercial, it becomes apparent that Hewitt has lost his mind. He refuses to read his lines for the commercial because the set doesn't exactly match his TV kitchen. Strangely, though everyone (except for possibly Hewitt himself) seems to be aware that he's an actor who played Mr. Belvedere on TV, no one ever uses his real name. They all address him as "Mr. Belvedere."

Ned & Stacey is long gone, cancelled after two seasons, so it's been forever since I've seen the actual episode, but I think in the end they fire Mr. Belvedere and replace him in the commercial with Tony Danza.

#2. Clive Owen, Extras: From the series finale of Extras, I'll let the clip speak for itself (warning: strong language):

It was tough choosing between this and Patrick Stewart's appearance, which was also very, very funny.

#1. David Duchovny, The Larry Sanders Show: David Duchovny actually appeared on three episodes of this, the greatest TV series ever to have a complete DVD release. Over the course of his appearances, he and talk show host Larry Sanders
(Garry Shandling) become friends, and Duchovny develops what can only be described as an uncomfortably deep affection for Larry.

Skip ahead to about 1:20 in the middle clip, the other two are all Duchovny.

I'm also fond of: Geoffrey Owens (Elvin from The Cosby Show) on It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Keith Hernandez on Seinfeld.

New-ish Comics to check out

2008-01-16T08:40:00.000-08:00

I've been lazy about posting, mostly due to my natural laziness. But also because I've been on a comics binge. Some old, some new, and a lot of them good.

#4 The Circle by Brian Reed (Ms. Marvel, New Avengers: Illuminati) and Ian Hosfeld, Image: Lots of action, lots of gunplay, solid art, and a nice little plot twist here and there. I don't have a ton to say about this book, because it's only just barely started, and like most spy stories there are more questions than answers at this point. But it's been a fun read so far, and hopefully enough people are buying it to keep it going.

#3 Northlanders by Brian Wood (DMZ) and Davide Gianfelice, Vertigo: I completely love DMZ, so as soon as I saw a new book by Brian Wood (and one from Vertigo, who always seems to pick interesting projects) I was in. The fact that it was about vikings was just icing on the cake. Cause vikings are cool, right? This isn't exactly what I was expecting, though. No horned helmets, no groups of big blonde dudes and their shieldmaidens pillaging and plundering. So far, it's a pretty standard story about a young man returning home after travels abroad, and not liking what he finds. But the characters are interesting, even if they're not exactly likable, Gianfelice's art is really quite something, and we're barely past the introductory part before things start really happening, so I think this is going to be a winner.

#2 Scalped by Jason Aaron and R. M. Guéra, Vertigo: This one's not exactly new. I think it started in 2006, and I've only recently gotten into it, thanks to the folks at Comics Should Be Good. But ignoring it is totally not my fault. Vertigo ran a preview of Scalped in the back of some issue of DMZ a while back, and... really, it was boring. And the whole first arc is not great. But be patient, because it gets very good in a hurry after that. The basic gist of Scalped is a noir-ish tale of corruption and murder and all that good stuff, but on an Indian reservation where a casino is about to open, and with a whole lot of violence. It's got a little bit of an early Quentin Tarantino flavor to it, with the fun with time, lots of obscenity, and brutal violence, but it's not derivative or anything, it's just good.

#1 Pax Romana by Jonathan Hickman: Johnathan Hickman wrote and drew The Nightly News, which is a comic that looks nothing like any other comic. It's also a completely entertaining, media hating, corporate conspiracy theory rant along the lines of Network. It wasn't perfect, but it was exciting and different, and exciting and different is hard to find. I heard about Pax Romana, also by Hickman, and that was enough for me. Only one issue in and I'm hooked. It seems like a lot more of a story than The Nightly News, but it retains the weird comic/infographic hybrid thing. I thought it was tons of fun going in with no idea what it was about, but if you're interested, there's plenty of info at Jonathan Hickman's website.

Top 4: Batman Villains

2007-11-10T01:03:00.000-08:00

Batman is my favorite superhero, and has my favorite collection of enemies, so how about a list of them?

#4 Ra's al Ghul: A 500 year old criminal mastermind with limitless resources for his mostly evil plans, Ra's is a complicated character. Like a lot of bad guys, he sees a flawed world and is willing to go to crazy lengths to change it. In Ra's case, he thinks humanity is so flawed that the world would be better off with most of us dead. At times, he can be allied with the Dark Knight, and has offered Batman a place at his side, and his daughter Talia's hand in marriage. But most of the time, he and "the Detective" are most certainly at odds.

Ra's was created in the 70's by Denny O'Neil and Neil Adams as part of their effort to ditch the campy Adam West image of Batman, and the character hasn't changed all that much since. Ra's al Ghul also made an appearance in Batman Begins, though the immortality aspect of his character was dropped.

#3 Catwoman: Like Ra's al Ghul, Catwoman has a complex relationship with Batman. Often, they're hot for each other. Often, her alter ego, Selina Kyle, and Bruce Wayne are hot for each other. But mostly, Catwoman's been out breaking the law and Batman's wanted to throw her in jail. Unlike Ra's al Ghul, Catwoman has changed a lot over the years. She's been a cat-themed thief with a thing for whips, a man-hating prostitute with a thing for whips, and eventually a sort of superhero (but still with the whips) defending her own little section of Gotham City.

The latter was a great reimagining (and redesign, above) of the character by Ed Brubaker and Darwyn Cooke in 2001 which really made me a fan of Miss Kyle. She has, of course, been a staple in big and small screen adaptations of Batman, with mixed results. And there was that whole Halle Berry thing, but it looked so awful I never bothered with it. Maybe it was secretly really good. But probably not.

#2 Two-Face: Harvey Dent, district attorney, ally of Batman in the war against crime in Gotham, has his life ruined when a mobster throws acid in his face. In some versions, Batman rushes to save Dent, but is only successful in keeping half Dent's face from the acid. Regardless, not only is his face horribly scarred, the emotional trauma leaves him with a sort of multiple personality disorder, reflected by the two sides of his face, man and monster, and completely obsessed with duality. He flips a two-headed coin, with one side scarred, to decide almost everything. Smooth side up, and he'll aid earthquake victims, or give a speech honoring Commissioner Gordon. Scarred side up, and he does something horrible.

Many people's opinions of Two-Face are influenced by the horrible Tommy Lee Jones character from Batman Forever, but that version has almost nothing to do with the real Two-face. The real Two-Face has a twisted view of the world (Grant Morrison's Arkham Asylum book summed it up best with this line: "The moon is so beautiful. It's a big silver dollar, flipped by God. And it landed scarred side up, see? So He made the world."), an obsession with duality and fate, and a history with Batman. Hopefully, the Batman Begins sequel will do him justice.

#1 The Joker: The best Batman villain, and probably the best in all of comics. That giant smile, the green hair, the pale face, and his nonstop cackling make him truly creepy. His sense of humor make him, at times, lovable, or at least darkly hilarious. The Joker doesn't have much of a backstory (in The Killing Joke, the Joker tells his life story, but admits that it comes out different every time he tries to remember it), nobody seems to know his real name, and all he really wants to do is laugh, torment Batman, and kill some people.

As such an attractive character, he has a tenancy to be overused in the comics, and sometimes poorly written. But when he's on, he's on. My favorite moment is from The Last Laugh, when, while in prison for killing Commissioner Gordon's wife Sarah, he learns that he's terminally ill. He writes a list of things to do before he dies, which includes "Ring Gordon. Ask for Sarah... hang up. Repeat."

Honorable mention: The Riddler, Harley Quinn, Mr. Freeze.

Top 4: Writers' Strike Silver Linings

2007-11-06T21:25:00.000-08:00

It didn't take long for the Writers Guild of America strike to impact the television landscape. With no one to write original material, most every talk show went to reruns. Saturday Night Live will probably have to as well. It sounds like most scripted network series have 5 scripts ready to go, so they should be ok for a while, but if this keeps up, there won't be much to watch beginning in December. So with that in mind, let's look at a few positives of the strike:

#4. Brian K. Vaughan has more time to write comics: Brian K. Vaughan was hired last year as a writer on Lost, and co-wrote the episode "Catch-22." But he made his name writing comics, as evidenced by the argument over whether Superman was faster than the Flash in that episode. Vaughan is the creator of Y: The Last Man, Ex Machina, and Runaways, and (perhaps most important to television fans) is scripting the current arc of the Buffy Season Eight comics. BKV recently blogged that he will "take however long the strike lasts (which could be anywhere between a day and forever) to concentrate on making Ex Machina kick as much ass as possible as we start to head into that series' final year, and to continue to develop my next big creator-owned projects," which is nice for a fan to hear.

#3. Comic Books: Speaking of comic books, I've got a pile of them to read. And now with an extra hour a day (which I would have spent watching The Daily Show and The Colbert Report), I can start tackling them. Among the titles to catch up on: Criminal, Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips' noir-ish crime book, Invincible, quite possibly the greatest superhero comic in the universe, and Dynamo 5, which I haven't actually read any of yet, but it sounds pretty cool.

#2. Netflix Queue: Should the strike keep up for long, I'll have more than an extra hour on my hands, and I can start going through those Netflix DVDs faster. I usually watch 2 a week, but I might go as far as upping my plan to the 3-at-a-time if we're stuck with only reality and game shows at some point. My queue is almost 300 movies long, and I seem to add things faster than I watch them.

#1. Writers Getting What They Deserve: Apparently, the last time the WGA contract was up, the union was told that the home video market for television would never amount to much, so the writers didn't push the issue. Now, TV on DVD is huge business. According to a recent televisionary post, TV series writers are currently getting four cents per episode for TV on DVD sales. So when you're dropping $40 on a season set, about 90 cents is going to the writers. That hardly seems fair. On top of that, I don't think the writers are seeing a penny for itunes, those amazon unbox things, or ad supported streaming video on network websites.

I love television as much as the next guy, and I have no life, so production shutting down on my favorite tv shows sucks for me. But the writers create the characters we love, dream up the worlds they inhabit, put them in the situations that drive the action, and don't seem to be getting their fair share. Hopefully this can all be resolved quickly, writers will get their due, and maybe the studio suits can handle life with only one butler.

Top 4: Adult Swim Originals

2007-11-06T01:43:00.000-08:00

Cartoon Network's Adult Swim features a mix of syndicated network shows (Futurama, Family Guy), Anime (Inuyasha, Cowboy Bebop), and offbeat, sometimes incredibly bizarre, original shows. Personally, the especially weird ones lose me. Aqua Teen Hunger Force, for example, has some truly great voice actors, but it makes too little sense for me to really follow.

#4. Frisky Dingo: Frisky Dingo, like a lot of Adult Swim originals, is very, very, very strange. It's a classic superhero/supervillain story, but the superhero is a self-centered idiot, and the supervillian (Killface, above), aside from his occasional homicidal outbursts and plans to destroy the world, is pretty likable. Unlike many Adult Swim shows, Frisky Dingo does a good job of maintaining continuity. The only times they cheat a little are in the "Previously on Frisky Dingo..." sections, where they will sometimes insert new plot points, or change scenes from previous episodes.

Created by the same folks who did Sealab 2021, a show I never really watched, Frisky Dingo is currently 8 episodes into it's second season, and in some kind of giant mid-season break, with no new episodes scheduled anytime soon, but season 2 not complete. It's currently airing late Sunday night on the Cartoon Network, and some episodes can be found on the adult swim site

#3. Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law: One of the older Adult Swim shows, it somehow took six and a half years to air 37 fifteen minute episodes. But it was worth the wait, since they were packed full of laughs. The concept: a former superhero trades in his cape for a suit, and becomes a lawyer, defending classic (and not-so-classic) cartoon characters.

The Cartoon Network (or it's parent company or something) has the rights to all those old Hanna-Barbera cartoons, so Harvey was able to defend characters from Scooby-Doo (Shaggy is busted for pot), the Flintstones (Fred is a Sopranos-style mobster), the Jetsons (they come back from the "distant future" of 2002 to sue the present for wrecking the environment), and plenty of characters from cartoons we barely remember (or have forgotten entirely, or we never knew in the first place). Featuring the vocal talents of Gary Cole (Lumberg from Office Space), Stephen Colbert, Peter MacNicol (Ally McBeal, Numb3rs), and John Michael Higgins (that guy from all those Christopher Guest movies), Harvey Birdman's jokes were packed together so tightly, you could watch an episode several times and still be finding things you missed.

Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law is no more, but can be found on DVD

#2. Robot Chicken: At least in my geeky circles, this is the most talked about Adult Swim show, so I'm guessing anyone that's stumbled onto this site has already heard of it, but if not: stop motion animation, lots of references to 80s toys/cartoons, some pretty sick humor, random celebrity voices. It's like Family Guy if they stopped trying to come up with a plot (and if it was still funny).

Robot Chicken is airing new episodes Sunday nights on the Cartoon Network, and past seasons can be found on DVD

#1. The Venture Bros.: If you grew up in the 80s, if you love Star Wars, if you love David Bowie, if you love comic books, if you could in any way be considered geeky, The Venture Bros. is right up your alley. But even if none of those describe you, you might like it anyway. Because I'm pretty sure it's the greatest cartoon not named The Simpsons ever made. I can't really offer any description that will do it justice, so hunt down the reruns on Adult Swim, or check out the DVDs, because it's just that good.

The Venture Bros. has completed two seasons, and two more have been ordered. Season 3 is expected in the Spring of 2008.

Honorable Mention:: The Boondocks (which just barely missed the cut), Space Ghost: Coast to Coast.

Top 4: Foods that could be confused with some kind of artificial packing material

2007-09-26T00:41:00.000-07:00

Yeah that's a long title, but so what? 150 years ago or so, every bit of food that the average American ate was probably easily identifiable as meat, grain, fruit, or vegetable (except for that pesky tomato that can't decide which of the latter two it wants to be). But these days, sometimes looking at the food we eat, it's easy to think you might be eating some sort of styrofoam product. In most cases, I gather that it's just heavily processed corn.

#4. Circus Peanuts: I don't think I've ever eaten a circus peanut. They're too creepy looking. What are they, anyway? I guess marshmallow, which could probably make this list on its own. But what kind of crazy person takes one food and make it in the shape of another food?

#3. Funyuns: Vaguely onion-flavored rings of a mysterious yellow-brown foam, I fully understand the onion half of the clever portmanteau, but I still don't see what's so fun about them.

#2. Froot Loops: I assume Froot Loops are made from heavily refined flour, lots of sugar, and all sorts of chemical flavors, colors, and preservatives... maybe with some real fruit extract thrown in so that it almost seems healthy. One real positive about Froot Loops is that it was one of the products (along with Pennzoil and Butterfinger) endorsed by Maya Angelou in a Saturday Night Live sketch that the audience didn't really seem to enjoy, but that remains one of my all-time favorites:

#1. Cheetos: Technically any cheese puff type product would do, but cheetos are especially weird in the packing material-ness of it all. Apparently the crunchy puffy thing is corn, but how you get corn to turn into that, I have no idea. I'm also creeped out by the salty orange dust that is supposedly some kind of cheese flavoring, but that's for another list.

Full disclosure: other than the circus peanuts, I do occasionally eat these sometimes frightening foods, which will probably lead to my early death.

Top 4: New Fall TV Series

2007-08-11T23:33:00.000-07:00

One of the first lists I did was the Summer Series I was excited about, and that really shouldn't fill you with confidence, since one (Hidden Palms) stunk outright, and the #1 show (John from Cincinnati) would tease you with flashes of brilliance in a sea of nonsense. But unlike the summer shows, I've been able to catch a few of the fall pilots, so I can endorse shows with a little more certainty.

#4. Bionic Woman: When news began trickling in about pilots that had been picked up in April and May, this sounded like the one to watch. Battlestar Galactica's David Eick behind the scenes, reworking a known TV brand into a dark sci-fi action/drama, Katee Sackhoff as some kind of badass evil cyborg chick, and the few stills that had been released looked really nice.

Then the original pilot was leaked, and I was underwhelmed. Mae Whitman (Arrested Development's Ann "Egg" Veal) played Jamie Sommers' deaf sister, and that whole plot line was a total dud. The whole feel of the pilot was ruined by it, and I was suddenly not very interested in it at all. However, word has since spread that the sister was rewritten and recast (Lucy Hale takes over). When the one part you hated is the first thing they fix, that's a good sign.

The action sequences were well done, Michelle Ryan handles the lead well, and I really liked the general look of the show. The only complaint I have, which I hope has been addressed in the reworking of the pilot, is that the special effects when Jamie is running fast look goofy. Otherwise, the good parts of the pilot plus my confidence in Eick has me excited for this one. Bionic Woman premieres September 26th on NBC

#3. Dirty Sexy Money: This is one I haven't seen. However, crazy rich people, some great actors, a top notch writer (Craig Wright, of Lost, Brothers and Sisters, and Six Feet Under), and some positive buzz combine to have me pretty excited about it. Mostly the cast, though.

Peter Krause (Sports Night, Six Feet Under, and the underrated The Lost Room) has been a favorite of mine for a long time. Donald Sutherland is obviously a legend in film, and took a pretty good stab at television last year with Commander-in-Chief. Samaire Armstrong (Entourage, The OC) and Natalie Zea (Eyes) provide some eye candy, and William Baldwin provides the, uh, Baldwin-ness. But it's Krause and Sutherland that'll have me tuning in. Dirty Sexy Money premieres September 26th on ABC.

#2. Chuck: I'll be honest with you here, Chuck sounds stupid. All the CIA and NSA's secrets are destroyed, but one unassuming nerd has them magically implanted in his brain, so he becomes some kind of spy or something. Really awful sounding, I know. But you know what? It's good. Very good.

Zachary Levi (who I don't remember in anything, but I guess he was a Less Than Perfect regular) stars as the titular Chuck, and he reminds me of Jimmy Fallon, only he doesn't have that desperate to be liked quality that makes you don't want to punch him in the face (yes, if I were a violent man I would totally slug Jimmy Fallon). Yvonne Strzechowski's name is as hard to spell as she is gorgeous, and Sarah Lancaster (What About Brian, Saved by the Bell: The New Class) is easy on the eyes as well. Adam Baldwin (Firefly) is great, as usual.

As great as the cast is, I think it's the writing that carries Chuck. The OC's Josh Schwartz wrote the pilot, which is funny, sexy, smart, silly, and action packed. If the series retains the quality of the pilot, it should be one of the most fun shows to come along in a while. Chuck premieres September 24th on NBC.

#1. Pushing Daisies: Ned makes pies for a living. Ned can touch dead things and bring them back to life. There's a catch, though. Quite a few, actually. And that's the best way I can think to describe Pushing Daisies.

Writer Brian Fuller has previously given us the quirky/funny/brilliant Dead Like Me, the quirky/funny/brilliant/quickly cancelled Wonderfalls, and the quirky/funny/brilliant/not even picked up to series The Amazing Screw-on Head. He also wrote for the first season of Heroes, providing, as I understand it, most of Claire's story. In any case, he has a track record for creating shows that are fantastical, odd, and wonderful. He's also had a tough time attracting viewers, which is my real fear for Pushing Daisies.

But like Wonderfalls, I intend to enjoy what I can get. Pushing Daisies is somehow morbid and heartwarming, romantic and sweet without being sappy, oddly disturbing but familiar. It's a slightly twisted romantic comedy fairy tale, and everyone should give it a chance. Please. I want to see 3+ seasons of Brian Fuller for once. Thanks. Pushing Daisies premieres October 3rd on ABC... set your Tivos ASAP.

Honorable mention:

Gossip Girl - like Chuck, written by Josh Schwartz, narrated by Kristen Bell, schoolgirl uniforms... this makes it at least worth a shot. 9/19 on the CW.
Reaper - The Loop's Bret Harrison is pretty funny, Heroes' Missy Peregrym is insanely hot, and the pilot is enjoyable. It's kind of Brimstone but a wacky comedy. 9/24 on the CW.
Back to You - Kelsey Grammer, Patricia Heaton, writers from Frasier. It can't be bad, really, which is impressive for a multi camera sitcom these days. 9/19 on Fox.
Journeyman - I know almost nothing about it, except some people whose opinions I trust seem to think it's pretty good. 9/24 on NBC

Top 4: Daily Show Correspondents

2007-07-26T21:07:00.000-07:00

I've had this list in mind for a while, but the #4 spot has been giving me headaches. But, as they say, without further gilding the lily and no more ado, here's the list:

#4. John Oliver (2006-present): Obviously, he's the new guy, so after only a year to put a guy ahead of many funny correspondents who've lasted much longer is tough. But he's very much become the go to guy. For a while, it seemed like he was on the show every night, and he was funny every time. They were actually running the risk of John Oliver burnout, but thankfully have backed off a little and he's usually not on more than twice in a week these days.

So far, I think he only has the one recurring segment: Wilmore-Oliver investigates, with "Senior Black Correspondent" Larry Wilmore. It's been quite good the few times they've trotted it out, but I get the feeling Oliver is kept so busy with his in-studio bits that he doesn't have too much opportunity for the field work. In any event, I'm sure that if he sticks around for a while, he'll be remembered as one of the best The Daily Show has ever had.

#3. Beth Littleford (1996-2000): Craig Kilborn pales in comparison to Jon Stewart, obviously, and the entire show improved when the switch was made. While Stewart's Daily Show is highly political, the Kilborn version felt more like a local news satire, with more emphasis on "wacky" stories, entertainment news, and more regular field reports from the correspondents. And Beth Littleford, as the best of the original cast, helped establish the faux-sincere tone that has become a staple of the show ever since.

#2. Steve Carell (1999-2004): A veteran of the Chicago improv scene and cast member of 1996's brilliant but quickly cancelled The Dana Carvey Show, Carell joined The Daily Show in 1999, and was an immediate hit, eventually launching the big TV and movie career he's enjoying today. He took a slightly different approach on The Daily Show, while most every other correspondent went with a satirical tone, mocking their subjects, Carell frequently turned the mockery on himself, playing an ignorant reporter trying desperately to hide his stupidity, and often unable to keep the struggles of his personal life out of his stories.

#1. Stephen Colbert (1997-2005): The obvious choice, and the only choice for #1, Colbert also came to the show from Chicago improv and had appeared with Steve Carell on The Dana Carvey Show. Upon his arrival in 1997, he was "the new guy," a title he would retain for Craig Kilborn's entire run on the show, but by the time Jon Stewart took over, Colbert was the go to guy, and remained the best contributor to the show until he moved on to the equally brilliant Colbert Report. Between This Week in God, Even Stephven (with Carell), his regular field reports, and his in studio bits with Stewart, Colbert was easily the best of the bunch.

Just for kicks, one of my favorite Even Stephvens, featuring #1 and #2:

Honorable Mention: Mo Rocca, Ed Helms, Rob Corddry.

Top 4: Random Thoughts

2007-07-09T00:51:00.000-07:00

I haven't written anything in a while, largely out of laziness. So here's the disorganized Top 4 things on my mind right now, with some rare music content.

#4. Teri Garr was totally hot in Young Frankenstein. Always lovely, and a genuinely funny actress (a rare combination), but I never think of her as actually sexy in any other role. Why this one, I'm not sure, but it's probably one of these things: she wears a lot of low cut tops, she's a lab assistant which plays right into my nerdy-hot tastes, or that German accent. But whatever it is, it's a wonderful thing. And Young Frankenstein's one of the funniest movies ever made, so it's lovely icing on a hilarious cake. Sadly, it's being turned into a Broadway musical, which kinda feels like Michael Jordan coming out of retirement to play for the Wizards.

#3. John from Cincinnati has the best theme music on TV.

The show itself is kind of a mess. Flashes of brilliance, but whiny characters and a general sense of "what the hell is the point of all this?" are dragging everything down. But "Johnny Appleseed" by Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros is a great song and a good fit for the series.

#2. The Avett Brothers rock.

Except they're not playing rock at all. My musical tastes are pretty broad, but I still never would've thought I'd be recommending a band that bears any resemblance to bluegrass, yet here I am. It's just three guys, a bass, a guitar, and a banjo, but their sound can be plenty powerful.

#1. All the best summer movies came out in a row. I haven't seen every major release or everything, but I've seen a bunch, and it had been a fairly disappointing summer for me. Then over the past two weeks, this summer redeemed itself. Live Free or Die Hard was a pleasant surprise. It was better than the second one, funny, exciting, and ridiculously over the top without being silly. Transformers wasn't perfect, but with Michael Bay at the helm I was afraid of Pearl Harbor or The Island. Instead, we didn't have an entirely bad plot to fill in the gaps between scenes of hot robot-on-robot action. And then Ratatouille really blew me away. It will probably end up being the best movie of the summer.

Brad Bird had previously written and directed Iron Giant and The Incredibles, two movies that appealed directly to my geeky nature with big robots and superheroes, but this time he went for rats and cooking, which is a harder sell. It's not a movie that's easily described, but it works on every level. The kids in the theatre seemed enthralled (except for two little brats who were screaming and kicking seats while their parents seemed to think it was no big deal), the adults had plenty of laughs and a nice story, and the animation, as always, was beautiful. After a pretty disappointing effort in Cars, Pixar is back on track.

Honorable Mention: Era Vulgaris, the new Queens of the Stone Age album, made a poor first impression on me at first, but it's growing on me in a big way. Flight of the Conchords is considerably funnier than Entourage these days (though last night's Entourage wasn't bad).

Top 4: TV Comedies of the 80s

2007-06-11T05:20:00.000-07:00

The 80s were a wonderful decade for comedy. TV censors became more and more relaxed, but political correctness hadn't arrived on the scene yet. Networks weren't competing with cable and the internet, and the more captive audience let them keep quality but low-rated shows around longer. And the theme song was still around! Plus, I was a kid, so I was an easier laugh back then. So what were the top four comedies of the 1980s? Two constraints: only half hour shows, so no Wonder Years (the line is blurred these days between comedy and drama, so I'd rather split it by length, something the Emmys should do), and only shows with the bulk of their run in the 80s, so no Simpsons.

#4. The Golden Girls - So why, as an eight year old boy, would I be watching a show about a group of old women? I have no idea. But I was, and you know what? They were really funny. And educational! I had no idea what menopause, Medicare, and lesbians (not to be confused with Lebanese) were before watching this show, so it was like hanging around with the cool kid who knew what all the swear words meant, only in this case the cool kid was a 70 year old woman.

But of course that's not what defines a good comedy. For me, it's mostly about character, casting, and jokes. Bea Arthur's Dorothy was the most important character of the show, both because for all the jokes at the expense of her looks I've heard, she's a truly gifted comedic actress, and becaus her relationships with her friends and her mother (and on occasion her ex-husband Stan) that kept everything moving. Add Estelle Getty and Betty White on top of that, and it's hard to go wrong (I can't say I was ever a Rue McClanahan fan, though). The jokes were frequent and funny, with a "Back in St. Olaf..." here, a "Picture it: Sicily, 1941..." there, and plenty of snide remarks from Dorothy to fill in the gaps. And since I mentioned theme songs up top, who can't still sing "Thank You for Being a Friend" by heart?

#3. The Cosby Show - He's become a target frequent parody and may be thought of more for his controversial political thoughts than anything else these days, but for much of the 1980s, he was the most beloved entertainer in the country, and as David Letterman once said, "Every time Bill Cosby sneezed, NBC made a million bucks." And is there any wonder why?

Who could forget the zrbtt, the Gordon Gartrelle, Cockroach, Bud (who was played by Deon Richmond and not Dule Hill), the family lip synching to Ray Charles' Night Time is the Right Time", or the time Cliff gave a horsey ride to Peter, Rudy's little fat friend? All great. The only reason the show slides this far down is that things turned ugly the longer it went on. The kids got older and less cute, so the brought in Raven Symone to Cousin Oliver-ify the show, the stories started to get weak, and I stopped watching entirely. But for a while, it didn't get much better than The Cosby Show.

#2. Family Ties - Following The Cosby Show, interestingly enough, is exactly what Family Ties did for many years, not only on NBC's schedule, but in the Nielsen ratings, where it was the second most watched show on television for several years. The Keatons, Stephen, Elyse, Alex P., Mallory, Jennifer, and later Andy, were the kind of family you wanted to be in, but they were more real than the Cleavers or other idyllic TV families of the past. And of course they got a lot of mileage out of the premise of hippie parents with a Reagan-worshipping son. And supporting characters added some nice touches. Skippy, Nick Moore, and Alex's various love interests (including a young, hot, Courteney Cox) all provided laughs as well as occasional serious moments.

Speaking of which, Family Ties specialized in the "very special episode" (sitcom episodes with a heavy-handed moral, usually about something like drugs, suicide, teen pregnancy, etc). It almost seems like every episode was a very special one. The time Alex tried to stay awake to cram for a test and got hooked on diet pills, when Skippy discovered he was adopted and tracked down his birth mother, or the time Alex acted out memories of his dead friend on a blacked out stage with a single spotlight, delivering angst-ridden monologues to a disembodied therapist voice in between scenes. But unlike some of the stupider VSE's (Saved by the Bell's diet pill addicted Jesse Spano and her "I"m so excited!" being perhaps the stupidest and unintentionally funniest ever), when Family Ties got serious, it wasn't campy or silly. From start to finish, it was a sweet, warm, and funny show. Sha la la la.

#1. Cheers - Growing up in Massachusetts, I was inclined to like a show where the main character was a former Red Sox pitcher. But it wasn't just the Boston connection. With a wide array of local stations available to me, I could technically watch Cheers at 4:00, 4:30, 5:30, 7:00, 7:30, 11:00 (which had a choice of two episodes), and 11:30 Monday through Friday from the late '80s to the mid-90s. Plus, on Thursdays, new episodes. And I never got tired of them. I didn't care if it was a Coach episode or one with Woody, Diane or Rebecca, they were all good.

The place where everybody knows your name evolved a lot over its eleven seasons. Early on, it was largely concerned with social issues, addressing class conflict by contrasting elitist snob Diane with the blue collar slobs at the bar, daringly doing an episode about homosexuality in 1983, and occasionally touching on alcoholism. Later, the series became more farcical. Physical comedy, bizarre situations, and Cliff's insanity taken to new levels (Hitler living in his apartment building is a personal favorite). But through it all, the show was hilarious.

Strangely, from 1984-1987, Cheers aired on NBC Thursday nights after both Family Ties and The Cosby Show (and followed by Night Court and Hill Street Blues/L.A. Law), so naturally I was glued to the TV on Thursdays in the mid-80s.

Honorable Mention: Night Court, Newhart, The Facts of Life, Growing Pains, Perfect Strangers.

Ubiquitous Canadian Actresses

2007-06-07T11:14:00.000-07:00

After previously discussing the Top Four Canadian actors who constantly pop up on TV series filmed in Canada, it only seems fair to cover the ladies. Incidentally, these are in order of how often they seem to appear when I watch shows filmed in Canada, not ranked by acting quality or attributes that a superficial man might consider important, though they are all both lovely and talented. Anyway, on with the list:

#4. Jewel Staite - Widely known to fans of quality television as the adorable Kaylee from Firefly and the subsequent Serenity movie (neither filmed in Canada), Jewel Staite has actually had a long career in television. As young as 12, she was making guest appearances in Canadian-filmed shows like Are You Afraid of the Dark?, The X-Files, Honey, I Shrunk the Kids: The TV Show, Da Vinci's Inquest, Dead Like Me, the pilot of Huff (I think after the pilot, the show moved to LA, but the pilot was definitely a Vancouver shoot), and Stargate: Atlantis.

She also had a great recurring role on Wonderfalls as the slutty nemesis of the main character in the last few episodes. Sadly, none of her episodes made it to air since the series was seemingly cancelled beffore the opening credits had finished on episode one, but her appearances made it to the DVD, which is worth at least a spot on your Netflix queue.

#3. Erica Cerra - She's kind of hard to miss these days on the SciFi channel, with a minor recurring role as Maya (who was given custody of Hera) on Battlestar Galactica, and costarring on Eureka as the tough, sexy, and heavily armed Deputy Jo.

According to her imdb bio, she had been a child actor but quit acting for a while, only returning when she was 22 in 2001, and quickly built up a lengthy resume. Since 2003, in addition to the above, she's logged guest appearances on Black Sash, Dead Like Me, Jake 2.0, The Dead Zone, the Huff pilot, The 4400, Smallville, and The L Word.

#2. Missy Peregrym - Lots of TV viewers will recognize her from her role as Candace on Heroes this year. Others from the gymnastics movie Stick It that she starred in last year. Others still will not care if they recognize her or what from, and just enjoy the picture. I'm pretty sure that if she hadn't suddenly become a (relative) star, she'd have ascended to #1 on this list. But in any case, prior to Stick It, she was a staple on Canadian-filmed TV.

I first noticed her on Black Sash, a short-lived (and lousy) WB series about a martial arts school where she played one of the students. At that point, she'd already appeared on Jake 2.0, The Chris Isaak Show, and Dark Angel. She followed Black Sash up with a few more guest spots (Smallville, Tru Calling, and Andromeda) before landing another lead in Life as We Know It. I was a fan of the latter series, which wasn't without its flaws, but it was an interesting take on a teen drama. Plus... she's hot.

#1. Keegan Connor Tracy - Admittedly, she first caught my attention from a somewhat racy Stuff Magazine spread, and like Missy Peregrym, she's a very fine looking woman, but she's here because I see her on TV all the time. Her most notable TV role was on Jake 2.0, as the nerdy-hot scientist who played Q to the protagonist's James Bond (or perhaps more accurately, Bonnie to his KITT), but before and since, she's been hard to miss on TV.

With appearances on First Wave, The Net, Millenium, Viper (a show that was a lot like Knight Rider, Street Hawk, or Airwolf, only this one was underwritten by Dodge), Night Man, Seven Days (that awful UPN time travelling show with Anthony LaPaglia's brother), Strange Frequency, Dark Angel, Da Vinci's Inquest, The 4400, Stargate: SG-1, Supernatural, Psych, and most recently at the end of the third season of Battlestar Galactica, in a role that seems like it might show up in season four as well. And she's still managed to find time to appear in movies like Duets, 40 Days and 40 Nights, and Final Destination 2.

Honorable Mention: Sarah Lind, Grace Park.

Top 4: Animated Series Based on Comic Books

2007-06-06T17:01:00.000-07:00

From Spiderman and His Amazing Friends to The Superfriends, my childhood was filled with cartoons based on popular comic book characters, but putting nostalgia aside, most of the series before about 1990 are painful to watch now. The animation is cheap, the voice actors over emote every line, the stories are repetitive, and the dialogue is written to ensure that even the slowest 5 year old doesn't miss a single plot point. But in the late 80s and early 90s, cartoons started to raise the bar by including actually interesting plots, non-campy dialogue, and skilled voice acting.

#4. X-Men: The Animated Series - In 1992, Fox added this faithful adaptation of Marvel's X-Men to their "Fox Kids" Saturday morning lineup, and it was quickly one of my favorites. It featured a mix of classic and newer X-Men team members, with Xavier, Cyclops, Jean Grey, Storm, Wolverine, Beast, Rogue, Gambit, and Jubilee serving as the main team members for the run of the series. It drew not only on heroes and villains (Magneto, Juggernaut, Apocalypse, and Mr. Sinister, to name a few), but on classic X-Men storylines as well. The Phalanx Covenant, Legacy Virus, Days of Future Past, and Dark Phoenix Saga all inspired prominent arcs of the series.

Dark and dramatic, with much more adult themes than traditional Saturday morning cartoons (addressing divorce, religion, and intolerance), it became one of the top rated series in the Fox Kids lineup. After a few spectacular seasons, however, things started to fall apart. The plots started to become more and more far fetched, the Soap Opera Continuity started to become distracting, and, in the fifth and final season, production was moved to a new studio with a dramatic dropoff in the quality of the animation and voice acting. But for a few years, X-Men was as good as anything, introducing a new generation (including me) to the Marvel universe.

#3. The Tick - 17 year old Ben Edlund created the Tick in 1986 for a local comic book shop, and soon it was a hit underground comic book (the original 12 books can often still be found in print from New England Comics and they're very much worth the read). An astonishingly stupid and nigh-invulnerable big blue pile of muscles, leaping from building to building with his moth-suited accountant sidekick Arthur in the pursuit of evil-doers, it was an undeniably funny take on superheroes and the conventions of their world. In 1994, Fox brought the Tick to television, and Edlund oversaw production of the series, which, aside from dropping a few not-for-kids elements (like the Tick being an escaped mental patient), retained the look and feel of the comics, and was hilariously absurd.

Sadly, The Tick lasted only 36 episodes, but partly because of its short run, every episode was a classic. It's only recently starting to show up on DVD, with the second season due out later this summer. In 2001, there was a live action series on Fox starring Patrick Warburton (Putty from Seinfeld), also featuring the writing talents of Ben Edlund and several other of the animated series' writers, but unfortunately the copyright for several of the animated series' characters belonged to the production studio, so many of the live action characters had to be ripoffs of their own characters (Die Fledermaus and American Maid became Batmanuel and Captain Liberty, for example). The live action version lasted only one season (available on DVD), and Edlund would go on to co-write the movie Titan A.E. and work on a number of television series (Angel, Firefly, The Inside, Point Pleasant, (Tick writer Jackson Publick's creation) The Venture Bros., and Supernatural).

#2. Justice League/Justice League Unlimited - After a number of successful series based on DC Comics' properties, the creative team behind the DC Animated Universe (or "Timmverse", named after Bruce Timm, who's had his hands in all the series in this universe) decided to tackle the Justice League for the Cartoon Network, the team of superheroes combining forces to defend the earth from its greatest threats. In the first two seasons, which ran from 2001 to 2004, it featured Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, the Flash, the Martian Manhunter, Green Lantern, and Hawkgirl. It told a series of ambitious stories in two and three episode installments, but while it was a solid effort, it never really impressed me all that much. Apparently, it had the same affect on audiences, as the third season took the show in a while new direction.

Retitled Justice League Unlimited, the series not only incorporated dozens of other characters from the DC Universe (Green Arrow, the Atom, Captain Marvel, Zatanna, the Question, and Supergirl, among many, many others), but ditched the three parters for mostly self contained single episode stories that contributed to a season long arc (Buffy-style). Most episodes centered around a small group of heroes, sometimes major players (like Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman in the adaptation of my favorite Superman story, For the Man Who Has Everything), sometimes virtual unknowns (Shining Knight, Crimson Avenger, Vigilante, and Speedy in "Patriot Act"). Compared to the "limited" first two seasons, he storytelling was a lot more focused, sometimes darker, and all around a lot better. Justice League (which I don't especially recommend) and Justice League Unlimited (which I strongly endorse) are available on separately titled (and separately numbered) DVD sets.

#1. Batman: The Animated Series - In 1992, partly to capitalize on the then still-successful Batman movie franchise, Fox began Batman: The Animated Series on weekday afternoons. It was immediately apparent that this was something new, different, and special. Many of the backgrounds were painted on black paper, a highly unusual practice that helped make Gotham feel like an appropriate setting for the Dark Knight. The technology and style of everything had an odd retro-futuristic quality. Scientists built robots and the police had a fleet of blimps, but Gotham TV broadcast in black and white, mobsters used tommy guns, and everything had an art deco style to it. And it wasn't just the visuals, the series had an orchestral score (based in part on the Danny Elfman theme to the 1989 Batman movie) and brilliant voice casting (Mark Hamill as The Joker and Richard Moll (Bull from Night Court) as Harvey Dent are two performances I hope the people behind The Dark Knight are aware of).

With decades of comics to draw from, the stories took full advantage of Batman's massive rogue's gallery, including the major players (The Joker, Two-Face, Penguin, Riddler, etc), the minor players (The Clock King, Killer Croc, etc), and a few new ones. The series was so well received, that some of the ideas from the animated series made their way into the comics, from Harley Quinn, the Joker's jester costumed girlfriend, to Mr. Freeze's more sympathetic backstory and abandonment of the campy demeanor that had been with him since his inception. And comic book geeks are normally first in line to trash any adaptation of their precious characters, so when they embrace a tv adaptation, you know it's pretty good.

The series was retitled and restylized several times, but I consider the first 85 episodes (plus the two movies, Mask of the Phantasm and Sub-Zero) to be part of this series, and the New Batman Adventures that ran as part of the The New Batman/Superman Adventures to be separate. But in any case, DVDs of the series are available and definitely worth checking out.

Honorable Mention - Duckman (based on a Dark Horse comic, it's a series that's almost completely forgotten these days despite being pretty funny at times), Spider-Man (the 1994 one, which poorly mixed CGI and traditional animation, but was pretty faithful to the comics otherwise), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (seriously, go back and watch it, it doesn't hold up as well as the top 4, but it has some jokes that still work, the dialogue isn't dreadful like other cartoons of that era).

Top 4: Ubiquitous Canadian Actors

2007-06-04T02:24:00.000-07:00

Not actors born in Canada, cause that would just be boring. If you watch enough science fiction on TV, or even low budget television in general, you start to notice that the same people pop up again and again on a specific group of shows. The reason? Most TV production is done in the Los Angeles area, but it's expensive there, so some have fled north to Canada, usually in the Vancouver area. The stars of these shows are usually American, but it'd be expensive to cast the bit parts and guest stars in LA and fly them north, so they usually find actors for those roles locally. But the talent pool is thin. Not to say that there aren't good actors, there just aren't as many, so even with fewer available jobs in Canada than there are in the US, these guys are on TV a lot. And enough came to mind that I'll be making a separate top 4 for actresses (or am I supposed to say "female actors"? that just seems lame).

#4. Richard Kahan: A disturbing number of younger Canadian actors and actresses got their start on a show called Edgemont, which was made for Canadian television but eventually showed up on cable here and I watched for some reason. It was a high school drama that featured incredibly low production values, absolutely no one on screen over 25 (no teachers, no parents, and only a couple of characters out of high school), and some painfully bad acting. Among those who could hold their own (including Smallville's Kristin Kreuk and Battlestar Galactica's Grace Park, who played a lesbian, but not in the awesome way many of her fans would like it to be) was Richard Kahan. His character grew from a minor role to a fairly prominent one, I think largely based on how much better he was than some of his costars.

After Edgemont, he landed guest roles on several Vancouver productions: Da Vinci's Inquest, Reunion, Stargate: Atlantis, Masters of Horror, and Supernatural, but is probably best known to American audiences as Marco Pacella, the NTAC science nerd on The 4400.

#3. Neil Grayston - Another guy who I first saw on Edgemont, but I first recognized his brilliance on the short lived series Wonderfalls, where he had a recurring role as a moronic store clerk named Alec, generally referred to as "the mouth breather." Wonderfalls is one of the few shows among any of these guys which wasn't filmed in the Vancouver area. For obvious reasons (the main character worked in a gift shop at Niagara Falls), production stayed around Toronto.

Aside from Wonderfalls, Grayston has appeared in U.C.: Undercover, Da Vinci's Inquest, Jeremiah, Smallville, Dead Like Me, The Dead Zone, and Supernatural. Currently, he has a supporting role on SciFi's Eureka as Douglas Fargo, the amusingly nerdy lackey at Global Dynamics.

#2. Nicholas Lea - Lea's been around long enough to at least look familiar to a lot of people, but most who actually recognize him will know him as Alex Krycek, a recurring villain on The X-Files, the first Vancouver production that I was aware was Vancouverian (edit: apparently the word is "Vancouverite"). Lea's been a staple in Canadian-filmed TV for fifteen years, with guest roles on The Commish, Highlander: The Series, Sliders, The Outer Limits, Andromeda, Whistler, and more recently on Kyle XY and Men in Trees. And those are just the shows I've heard of. He's also headed down to LA for an occasional non-Canadian role, and been in quite a few movies, but none, as far as I can tell, worth mentioning.

#1. Martin Cummins - I think this guy knows someone in the office that grants permits to film in British Columbia, because it seems like you can't film a TV show there without at least having him on once. His first major role was in 1989's Friday the 13th Part VIII - Jason Takes Manhattan, which was ironically filmed in Canada. From there, he began a long and impressive career as a TV actor, making him, in my opinion, the King of Vancouver television. Most recognizable either as Ames White, the main villain from Dark Angel's second season, or as Nick Boyle on Poltergeist - The Legacy. I also remember him fondly as the hockey coach from Life As We Know It, the short-lived ABC teen drama which mostly received press at the time for co-starring Kelly Osbourne (but don't let that scare you off, she's not that bad), but it was created by some of the writers of Freaks and Geeks (ones you've never heard of, not Judd Apatow), introduced Chris Lowell (Veronica Mars's Piz, and from the Grey's Anatomy spinoff), and featured other Canadian standout Missy Peregrym, who showed up on Heroes this year, and might end up on the Ubiquitous Canadian Actress list, if/when I get around to it.

But back to Martin Cummins. He's also made appearances on Vancouver series My Secret Identity (remember that one? A young (but no longer Stand By Me fat) Jerry O'Connell got blasted with radiation by the guy who played Andy Andy on Cheers and developed superpowers), 21 Jump Street (who would've thought Johnny Depp would end up more successful than Peter DeLuise? Oh, right... everyone), The Commish, Highlander, M.A.N.T.I.S. (Carl Lumbly, Dixon from Alias, in a sort of Iron Man ripoff), the 1990s version of The Outer Limits, Strange Frequency (a VH1 series that was supposed to be a "Rock 'N' Roll Twilight Zone", but it turned out to be more of a "crappy show"), Stargate SG-1, Black Sash (which starred the aforementioned Missy Peregrym), a recurring role on Smallville (once appearing alongside Missy Peregrym again), The Mountain, and Reunion. So, basically, everything. Almost all the roles I remember him in has him playing either a bad guy, some sort of government agent, or both, and he's actually pretty good in those parts.

Honorable Mention: Dominic Zamprogna (Jammer on Battlestar Galactica, and he was the lead character on Edgemont), Donnelly Rhodes (the Doctor from Battlestar Galactica has a huge number of Vancouver credits, but he's kinda cheating cause he was a successful actor for years and years before starting in on Canadian shows).

Top 4: Celebrity Crushes of 1980-1985

2007-05-31T03:29:00.000-07:00

This is easily my most random list to date, but I read an article that mentioned WKRP earlier, which lead immediately to the list forming in my mind. I was very young in this time period, not even 10, but I vividly remember finding these women appealing.

#4. Jan Smithers - Loni Anderson's Jennifer Marlowe got all the attention on WKRP in Cincinnati, but my eye was always on Bailey Quarters. I was never a huge fan of the show, and I only remember it on syndication, but I always lingered on an episode long enough to catch a glimpse or two of Ms. Smithers. My affinity for nerdy-hot types obviously developed at an early age, and I still love women in glasses, though generally not specs as big, goofy, and Sally-Jesse Raphael-like as hers. Not long after WKRP ended, she married James Brolin (I'd be jealous, but he's now stuck with Barbra Streisand) and dropped off the radar entirely, which is a shame, but she'll live on forever now that WKRP is out on DVD.

#3. Erin Gray - Now who fills out a ridiculous looking space suit better than Erin Gray? A model since her teens in the 60s (even appearing in the 1969 SI Swimsuit Issue), she moved into acting in the late 70s. She landed the part of Col. Wilma Deering on Buck Rogers in the 25th Century in 1979, spending a full two years prancing around in the aforementioned silly costume before moving on to Silver Spoons, where she played the motherly Kate for 5 seasons. Since then, she's kept busy with acting, popping up now and then on various TV shows, and for a woman pushing 60, she's still looking pretty darn good.

#2 Carrie Fisher - Well she'd have to be on this list. When Jabba the Hutt dressed Princess Leia into the slave girl outfit in Return of the Jedi, geeks everywhere fell in love with Carrie Fisher (if they hadn't already). Or at least they fell in lust with her. Thank you, George Lucas. Since then, things haven't gone so well for Carrie Fisher, though. Even though she kept her acting career going and did some writing as well, she's had a number of personal issues to deal with: bipolar disorder, substance abuse problems, a divorce, and a long term relationship ending when her boyfriend (and father of her child) left her for a man... yikes. Today, she kinda looks like a woman who's had a rough life. But we'll always have those precious moments in Jabba's palace to remember her by.

#1. Lynda Carter - It takes a special kind of woman to pull off that costume (I've seen a few actresses wear it, but Rachel Bilson is the only other one who didn't look awful in it). Ok, so technically Wonder Woman ended its run in 1979, but it was still on in syndication, and she was active in various TV projects throughout the 80s. More recently, she popped up in the The Dukes of Hazzard movie, and a recent episode of Smallville as Chloe's mother. And at 55, she's still a fine looking woman.

The only real question here wass whether Carrie Fisher or Lynda Carter would be on top (ha!), and if I'd written this on another day, I might've reversed them. Not that you can really go wrong either way.

Honorable Mention: Pam Dawber (Mork & Mindy), Jaclyn Smith (Charlie's Angels), Catherine Bach (Dukes of Hazard), Kim Fields (Facts of Life, and who I almost put in my top 4 to make myself not feel racist, but I'd rather give my honest answers and blame my lack of diversity on TV and movie executives of the time).

Top 4: Returning Summer Series

2007-05-30T02:47:00.000-07:00

After covering the new summer series, it's only natural to look at the favorites coming back for more this summer. The networks mostly keep pumping out reruns all summer, but the cable stations kick their programming into high gear while the competition's on a break. So what are the most anticipated returns? (Warning: I will be discussing plot points of previous seasons below, so this will contain spoilers if you're behind)

#4. The 4400 - Last season ended on with a game changing plot twist, with a dangerously tempting coin flip offered to the public, in the form of promicin. Anyone can take an injection, and it's a 50/50 shot: either 4400-like powers or death. I was thrilled with the concept, but incredibly put off with the execution (when a character heavy-handedly turned to the camera and asked if we, the viewer, would take that chance). That said, I'm excited about where that plot twist takes us. It certainly suffers from a lower budget, lesser actors, and more moments of hokiness than Heroes, but it's considerably more original in it's approach to the superhero concept, and can be very exciting and a lot of fun.

I was hoping they'd run a marathon of the 3rd season leading up to the season premiere, but it looks like they're only reruning episodes late Wednesday nights. So if you want to refresh your memory or catch you, you'll have to set your DVRs or pick up the DVDs quick. The 4400 returns Sunday, June 17th, on USA.

#3. Weeds - Last season ended with enough cliffhangers to make your head spin. A bunch of angry folks are pointing guns at Nancy and crew, demanding their supply of weed, which Silas stole and stashed in his trunk, which is unfortunate since he's in the process of being arrested for stealing Celia's "Drug Free Zone" cameras. Shane, meanwhile, has been kidnapped by Kat, with Andy and a bounty hunter in hot pursuit. The season 2 DVDs are due out July 24th, and Weeds returns for its third season on Monday, August 13th, on Showtime.

#2. Eureka - Battlestar Galactica may get all the press, but it's not the only quality series on SciFi by any means. Eureka is something like a cross between Northern Exposure and Men in Black, as odd as that sounds, but it's original, quirky, and fun. If you missed the first season, the DVDs will be released on July 3rd, or you can catch an all day marathon on SciFi on Tuesday, June 26th. Eureka's second season premieres on Tuesday, July 10th, on SciFi.

#1. Rescue Me - When last we saw him, Tommy Gavin was out cold, roofied, with his house on fire, and Sheila sitting outside in her car having completely lost it. I'm sure we can look forward to another season of self-destruction, self-absorption, and dramatic musical montages. Plus fistfights and cursing and general hilarity. FX won't be showing any reruns of the third season, so the only shot at rewatching the previous season will be the DVDs, due out June 3rd. The fourth season of Rescue Me premieres Tuesday, June 10th, on FX.

Honorable Mention: Psych (July 13th on USA), The Loop (June 10th on Fox), The Closer (June 11th on TNT), Monk (July 13th on USA).

Top 4: New Summer TV Series

2007-05-28T22:12:00.000-07:00

With the 2006-07 network television just about wrapped up (the House finale tonight marks the end for me), it's time to look forward to the summer schedule. Back in the day, you could look forward to a steady diet of reruns, reruns, and more reruns all summer, making you actually consider going outside. Fortunately, we've been rescued from fresh air, exercise, and active social lives by a lot of interesting programming all summer. So let's take a look at the top four new series debuting this summer:

#4. Hidden Palms - If you saw any weird ads on the CW this spring that didn't make sense and ended with a plug for 08nova.com, it was actually for this show. It was also originally scheduled to premiere at midseason, but got bumped to the summer. Two really bad signs, but the word is that the show isn't bad at all. The premise, from Kevin Williamson (Scream, Dawson's Creek), is The OC meets Desperate Housewives: kid from the wrong side of the tracks moves to an upscale community and starts to uncover the dark secrets of the town. At the very least, the show should provide plenty of eye candy (above), but if the buzz is true, it might hook you in. Hidden Palms premieres Wednesday, May 30th, on the CW.

#3. Damages - FX is becoming one of the top networks for original programming. The Shield, The Riches, Nip/Tuck, Rescue Me, and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia are all can't miss shows for me. So along comes a new series starring Glenn Close, but it's about lawyers, as if we need more of those on TV. But by all accounts, it's riveting. It sounds like something between the early years of The Practice and The Shield with lawyers. Those that have seen the pilot are so high on it, I should probably have it ranked higher, but I just worry about it being one more lawyer show. Damages premieres on Tuesday, July 24th, on FX.

#2. Flight of the Conchords - A rather odd looking comedy music duo getting a half hour comedy series on HBO will bring up memories of the short-lived Tenacious D series, but while it shares some of that show's format, it's actually closer to Extras but about a band. Flight of the Conchords already has a cult following for their live shows, and if the pilot is any indication, they will certainly add to their fan base. Flight of the Conchords premieres Sunday, June 10th, on HBO, and the pilot can be seen online here.

#1. John From Cincinnati - I've only half paid attention to the ads for this one, because I know I'm going to watch it. As far as I can tell, it's a supernatural family drama about surfers, which sounds incredibly weird. But David Milch brought us Deadwood, which was one of the most original and engaging shows ever, so he's earned a free pass from me. Unless he starts churning out stinkers, I'm on board for whatever he puts his name behind. John From Cincinnati premieres Sunday, June 10th, on HBO.

Honorable Mentions: Californication, David Duchovny brings the comedy skills he showed off on The Larry Sanders Show to a new dark comedy (8/13 on Showtime). Creature Comforts, a claymation documentary series, as far as I can tell, which sounds weird enough to draw my attention (6/4 on CBS).

Top 4: Things That Ruin Superheroes

2007-05-28T02:46:00.000-07:00

From the pages of comic books to popular television series to the big screen, superheroes are a bigger part of popular culture than ever. And who doesn't love a big mythic story with costumes and superpowers, damsels in distress and big scary explosions? But it's not all great, so here are the top four ways to derail a perfectly good superhero (or supervillain):

#4. Soap Opera Continuity - The angry looking gentleman with the big gun to the left is Cable, son of X-Men Jean Grey and Scott Summers (Cyclops), who was raised hundreds of years in the future by his sister Rachel. Except that Jean and Scott never had any kids, and Jean died. Cable was created with the help of a crazed 19th Century Darwinist and a clone of Jean. Rachel is from an alternate timeline. Rachel and Cable's grandfather died when Cyclops was just a kid, except that it turned out he didn't die, he had been abducted by aliens and joined a group of space pirates, who Cyclops conveniently met one time when tooling around in space with the X-Men. And their family tree is even more complicated than that.

That is all completely ridiculous, but that's not too out of the ordinary in the superhero genre. Comic books that have run for decades try in vain to keep up some degree of continuity while keeping the reader guessing with plot twists. When a new character appears, there's a 90% chance they turn out to be a family member, childhood friend, or former lover of an existing character. It seems exciting when they make a revelation, but if you take a second to look at the big picture, it all starts to feel silly.

#3. Multiverses - Both DC Comics and Marvel have idiotic concepts where they have alternate versions of their characters from alternate worlds, or timelines, or universes, and they occasionally cross over from one universe to another. DC has had several major storylines that have involved around the creation or deletion of alternate universes.

The problem I have with the multiverses is not that they exist, but that they weren't designed to exist. Comic publishers want to put out more than one Superman or Spider-man title per month, so they have separate storylines happening at the same time. They also don't want their characters to age, so they would reboot franchises so that the guy who fought Nazis when he was in his 30s doesn't have to be 60 years old in the '70s. But when inconsistencies start to arise, they invent the idea of all these alternate universes to explain it. True comic book fanboys eat this stuff up, but personally I think it's all bullshit.

#2. Overpowered Heroes and Villains - I grew up watching the X-Men Animated Series, which was generally awesome. And one of the fans' favorite villains, and the subject of amusing internet videos, was the Juggernaut. He was granted invulnerability by a magical ancient Egyptian gem, and has a helmet that makes him invulnerable to psychic attacks. Because he was so powerful, the X-Men couldn't scratch him, so every time he came on the scene, after a number of buildings got smashed, the X-Men would rip off his helmet and Professor X would work his mojo and make the Juggernaut wander off peacefully.

The same thing applies to Superman, especially in it's television adaptations. Either the writers have to keep coming up with reasons for Kryptonite to be as common as granite, or they have to give every new opponent a complicated backstory explaining how they got superpowers allowing them to hang with Superman. There's a reason Batman is the best superhero out there, and it's not just the extra cool costume.

#1. Death is Meaningless - In 1993, the big news was that Superman would be killed off. And he was, at the hands of Doomsday. The media made it sound like the end of an era, except that he ended up coming back to life after less than a year. At some point early in my comic reading days, I was told that nobody stays dead except for former Captain America sidekick Bucky, former Robin Jason Todd, and Spider-man's Uncle Ben, yet recently all three of those have been resurrected in one way or another, so it's safe to say that when someone dies, you'll probably end up seeing them again pretty soon.

Since most every long-running comic book story has at some point included clones, time travel, magic, or supremely advanced alien technology, it's pretty easy for a writer to come up with excuses for dead characters to show back up. And while that is a fun twist from time to time, it ruins the dramatic impact of the rest of the story. When a superhero is in a dangerous fight, it's not as exciting if the ultimate danger, death, is only a temporary problem.

Honorable Mentions: Crossover "events" (which seem to happen constantly, making them not very eventful), borderline pornography in lieu of story and character.

TV fans can just hope that Heroes' season nine doesn't feature Isaac and Candace from an alternate universe fighting an impossibly powered foe whose only weakness is mustard, and just happens to be Isaac's long lost brother.