Top XI

Liverpool might turn to 18 year old Suso

2012-09-07T05:30:00.000-07:00

Now that the genius Brendan Rodgers have gotten rid of an army of strikers, Liverpool could turn to 18 year old prospect, Suso.

The new Andy Carroll. Oh wait.

The Independent quote Rodgers: "There might need to be an intermediary way of working now. Boys like Suso will get their opportunity. The percentage of under-21s playing in the Premier League is statistically very, very small."

In action against Toronto.

"We are going to be stretched the limit and we'll be telling them 'if you've got little niggles and injuries, you've got to man up.' We've got to be together and be strong. This situation will allow guys to stand up to the plate. You get an opportunity but you have got to take it."

"That's right! Selling all my senior strikers have been my plan all along!"

Well, anything you say Rodgers. But forcing them to man up after little niggles could aggravate a hidden injury, don't you think?

Marseille JB hiccups

2012-09-07T05:19:00.001-07:00

Oh my. Did Marseille knew that Joey Barton couldn't play for them before signing him? He will serve his remainding ban in Ligue Un.

I said to my friend that this is a potential banana skin for both party involved.

The ban was issued as a result of his actions on the final day of last season, when he was sent off for a clash with Manchester City forward Carlos Tevez and responded by lashing out at City players Sergio Aguero and Vincent Kompany before attempting to confront Mario Balotelli.

Part of the folklore from that famous final day.

But any hopes that he might avoid serving his ban after moving to a new country have been dashed by a statement from the French League, the LFP, tonight. The statement, published on both the LFP and Marseille's websites, read: "Upon the transfer of Joey Barton from Queens Park Rangers to Olympique Marseille, the English Football Association transmitted to the French Football Federation the disciplinary sanction he was subject to in the English league.

"In accordance with article 12 of FIFA's Regulations for the Status and Transfer of Players, the sanction is applicable in France. Consequently Joey Barton, having served three of his 12-match suspension [in England], is suspended for the next nine games in domestic competition (Ligue 1 and the Coupe de la Ligue)."

The FIFA regulation cited in the statement reads: "Any disciplinary suspension imposed on a player prior to a transfer must be enforced or applied by the new association at which the player is registered. The former association is obliged to notify the new association of any sanction in writing and upon issuing the ITC (International Transfer Certificate)."

As a Result, Marseille do look quite stupid now, are they?

Compilation from the net..Jokes on Michael Owen!

2012-09-06T23:45:00.002-07:00

Oh, Michael..

1. The career of players like Michael Owen could be well and truly over after the prospect of a return for artificial pitches looked set to bring back the classic knee graze. The PFA have demanded to know why players may be subjected to those showers where you gently move your leg into the water only to scream out in absolute agony as the stinging sensation takes effect.

2. David Blaine is apparently gutted at the minute. He has discovered his 44 day record of doing fuck all in a box has been smashed by Michael Owen

3. Football star Michael Owen has released a new fragrance. It's set to be called 'My cologne '.

4. Michael Owen is to leave Man Utd, his agent says many clubs have shown an interest in signing him as they believe he has a good year in him. It was 1998.

5. I hate it when the wife wears a United Michael Owen shirt to bed. It's her way of letting me know I wont be scoring that night

6. There has been an increase in unemployment within Manchester, doctors have announced as Michael Owen leaves United.

Without a club shirt.

7. Michael Owen say's he wont retire after being released by Man Utd. He also said he's still undecided on which club he'll be injured for next season.

8. Following Paul Scholes retirement from football, Michael Owen has announced that his retirement has been delayed by injury.

9. Alex Ferguson: "Michael, get your tracksuit off, son"
Michael Owen: "Am I going on to save the day, boss?"
Alex Ferguson: "No son... Giggsy's getting cold."

10. George Bush, The Pope, Michael Owen and a little boy are on a plane together.
The engines explode simultaneously and the plane begins to hurtle towards the ground. The passengers look for the parachutes and are horrified to find there are only three when they need four.
Michael Owen grabs the first one and says, "I am Michael Owen and the footballing world needs me!" Then he jumps out of the plane.
George Bush grabs another and says, "I am George Bush! I am the smartest man in America and my country needs me to run it!" Then he jumps out of the plane.
Only the Pope and the little boy are left. The Pope says, "I am an old man and have lived my time, you take the parachute, little boy, you have a whole life ahead of you."
The little boy replies, "Don't worry, old man, there are enough parachutes for both of us. The smartest man in America just took my rucksack!

11. Michael Owen's transfer to Stoke is now in doubt. Whilst signing the contract he managed to break his wrist in three places.

"I'm gonnae sell Andy Carroll!"

Falcao's dad incurrs Atletico Madrid's wrath

2012-09-06T23:24:00.002-07:00

Falcao in action.

Radamel Garcia (that's Falcao's dad) told Colombian radio station Todelar on Wednesday that his son had his heart set on a move to Real Madrid, and would look to pursue a move at the end of the current season The striker who destroy Chelsea with his hatrick in the 4-1 victory in the Super Cup, was then moved to pledge his commitment to the Vicente Calderon outfit on Twitter.

"Don't worry fans, i have no ambition."

Probably not content with making life hard for his son, his father again confirmed his son’s desire to wear the Real jersey in Colombia radio Station Antena 2. “Saying my son wants to play for Real Madrid is not a sin. He always wants to play in the best teams in the world. The next club is for him to decide,” he said.

No. Absolutely no.

Earlier on Wednesday, Goal.com exclusively revealed that Manchester City lead the race to sign the 60-million-euro rated (47.5m pounds) former Porto hit man, something that was alluded to in Radamel Senior’s original comments. “His dream has always been to play for Real Madrid, even though clubs like Manchester City and Chelsea have shown an interest,” he had said.

Owen ready for 'tough' Stoke

2012-09-06T22:58:00.001-07:00

Passing on signing him, then selling Andy Carroll.

The former England striker this week signed for the Potters having been available as a free agent following his release by Manchester United at the end of last season. He endured three injury-blighted years at Old Trafford and now feels he has to prove himself at the Britannia Stadium despite his experiences with United and previously with Liverpool, Real Madrid, Newcastle and England.

Rare occassion in a Devil shirt.

"There are many strikers at the club, I'm not expecting it to be an easy ride. I'll have to work, obviously, to play any part. I'm prepared to do that. There are a lot of top players at the club, so I'm hopefully going to fit in well with the squad and have a good season."

He spent some time without a club this summer.

Owen was strongly linked with Stoke throughout the summer and more recently with former club Liverpool, boyhood team Everton and Sunderland. His move to Stoke was announced on Tuesday and was ratified by the Premier League, after confusion over whether he had been included in the club's 25-man squad for the competition, the following day.

Will he be able to be back in England's fold?

Owen first held talks with Potters boss Tony Pulis earlier in the summer and is now keen to start working under him. Owen said: "I met the manager two or three months ago. We were singing from the same hymn sheet in many ways. It is important to have a healthy respect for your manager and understand what he wants and different things. I feel as if I'll get that here with Tony Pulis. We had a good chat and it's just a shame it took a few months after that before I signed. But anyway, we're here now and I'm looking forward to it."

Owen has worked on his fitness privately but is unsure he will be match-sharp by then. "I know how I feel but in many ways I'm unsure in terms of exactly what stage I'm at compared to the rest of the squad. They've had a long pre-season, so it might turn out when I do a few tests that I'm quite a bit behind or it might be that I'm further forward than I thought - I just don't know. I'll have some tests over the next few days and gauge where I am, and hopefully I'll be out there as soon as possible."

Rooney thoughts on position change, that last minute in Etihad, and the rant at West Ham

2012-09-06T22:34:00.002-07:00

The goals have dried up.

"I get more of the ball, I'm involved loads and, after one game, I even think about playing there permanently, but only later in my career.Once I feel that I haven't got the sharpness needed to get away from defenders, I'll probably drop back into midfield for a couple of seasons so I can still influence the game,"the striker exclaims.

Heartache, pictured.

"Someone shouts, 'City scored two in injury time' and I feel sick. Our fans look heartbroken.There's nothing worse than having the same points as the champions, but being second best,'" is his thought on the manner local rivals Man City wrap up the title last May, virtually in the last minute of the season.

"Watcha lookin at, huh?! I just scored a title winning goal!"

Rooney also commented on that swearing rant he had while playing West Ham and scoring a hatrick.

"I'm shouting, screaming and swearing into the cameras. My face is all twisted, scowling, angry, wound up. I start to feel sick. I know I've let myself down. I got carried away, made a mistake, and now I regret it and genuinely feel sorry."

Arsenal's Sagna disappointed over key players sales

2012-09-06T22:21:00.002-07:00

Speaking to L'Equipe, Sagna said: "Everyone was expecting Robin Van Persie to leave, but Alex Song, that was a surprise. I don't understand that at all. It is a big loss for the club. When you see two of the best players from last season leave, you ask a lot of questions. I understand why the supporters are nervous.

Sagna, 29 is currently recuperating from a knee injury. Signed from Auxerre four years ago, he has seen several of his team-mates leave - Fabregas, van Persie, as well as Nasri and Clichy who went on to lift the title last May. This is his final year in his contract and so far there has been no extension talks.

He continued: "I am the only starting player left from 2007. In May, I watched City's parade on TV. I saw Samir and Gael lift the trophy. I want that feeling."

He said: "For the moment, I want to play with Arsenal, and find my level again."

Picture unrelated. By the way, it's his wife. Wait for the feature on her.

Deadline day Transfers Update 1

2012-08-31T01:23:00.001-07:00

Dang! Now that Andy Carroll has made the loan move to West Ham, all my earlier jokes about him has become redundant. After all, Big Sam do like a big bloke up top and might make a good use of him. And he'll probably thrive on less expectation, this lad. But who will replace him at Liverpool? Should no one comes, Brendan Rodgers will look pretty stupid.


"Yes! Now that Carroll's off i'll have no reason to play him!"

Still with Liverpool. Golem had completed a loan move to Bolton, but the duration of the loan remains unclear. Charlie Adam could complete a loan move to Stoke. Brendan Rodgers offered Henderson to Fulham in exchange for Clint Dempsey, but apparently Henderson doesn't want to leave. Rodgers also made clear that Joe Cole wasn't needed in Anfield, opening the probable move for Joe Cole to a home that loves him. I don't know, but it looks like Brendan Rodgers has caused Liverpool to be extremely short on strikers, and crushed the confidence of a few international players. All these from a manager with one good season under his belt.

At Etihad, Nigel de Jong moves to AC Milan, while at the same time welcoming Richard Wright and Scott Sinclair. Let's face it - these two wasn't gonna play much, aren't they? After the ECL draw, apparently Man City gonna make some last minute big purchase to face Real Madrid.

QPR strengthens their team furthermore, with the capture of Julio Cesar and Esteban Granero. In an attempt not to look stupid, QPR wisely chose not to disclose Granero's transfer fee, which might be 78 million pound more than 15 goal Michu.

It ain't finished yet. Today could bring more surprises. One particular piece of business i'm eagerly waiting for is the one involving Michael Owen. Where would he ended up in?

ECL Group Draw 2012 -2013 is out

2012-08-30T20:08:00.002-07:00

Group A: FC Porto, Dynamo Kiev, PSG, Dinamo Zagreb.
Group B: Arsenal, Schalke, Olympiacos, Montpellier.
Group C: AC Milan, Zenit St Petersburg, Anderlecht, Malaga.
Group D: Real Madrid, Manchester City, Ajax, Borussia Dortmund.
Group E: Chelsea, Shakhtar Donetsk, Juventus, FC Nordsjaelland.
Group F: Bayern Munich, Valencia, Lille, BATE.
Group G: Barcelona, Benfica, Spartak Moscow, Celtic.
Group H: Manchester United, Braga, Galatasaray, CFR Cluj.

For some reason, the EPL, Bundesliga, Eredivisie and La Liga champions were grouped together in D (cue the group of death talks). How does these old farts do the grading?

New Jokes on Andy Carroll!

2012-08-30T19:53:00.000-07:00

Here is Brendan Rodgers, quite briefly, on Andy Carroll. "We're not in a position to have £35million players as third-choice strikers." How hurting must that be to a young man? And how much damage it must have done to his confidence? There are lots more to that quote; where Brendan Rodgers states that Andy indeed understands his position in the club, but there could have been a better way to phrase it out. It seems that the mass public has still run out of Andy Carroll jokes yet. Apparently, there are still some uncovered ones out there in the net, and i have put this out to you. Enjoy. Or maybe don't. No, don't enjoy it. Have some pity on the man.

1. Rumour has it that Andy Carroll’s girlfriend locked him out of their home last night. She painted a goal over the door & he couldn’t get in.

2. Kenny to Officer: ”I need you to arrest Andy Carroll, he’s useless!”
“On what grounds?” ”All of them!”

3. Andy Carroll’s Text to Fernando Torres after the Chelsea-Aston Villa game (Leaked):
”I thought we were friends.” :-(

4. The FA have brought in a new ruling. Anyone found passing to Andy Carroll will automatically receive a yellow card for time wasting.

5. Reports indicate Muamba can breathe unassisted, recognize people and regained control of his limbs. Liverpool have offered a swap deal for Andy Carroll.

Do you have anymore Andy Carroll jokes that you know of? If you do, please feedback some more in the comment sections. Meanwhile, take some look at these memes containing cheap shots at Andy Carrol's club.

Wootball Wags: Sami Khedira girlfriend.. Lena Gercke!

2012-08-30T06:41:00.001-07:00

Lena Gercke is one of - if not the most- beautiful wags around out there. The sassy blonde is the spouse of Sami Khedira, the Germany international currently plying his trade in Real Madrid. She looks a bit like a way hotter cross between Cameron Diaz and Charlize Theron, with the perfect blonde locks and the million dollar smile.

Sometimes, you gotta hate not being footballers. There are obvious perks with the job, one of them is being surrounded by beautiful women. Thankfully, Sami chose to go steady with only one RIDICULOUSLY beautiful woman, and lets be thankful that she's Lena Gercke. Otherwise, this beauty might've stay put being one of German's best kept secret. Here are the pictures;

She even resembles Sharon Stone from this angle.

Sassy short haired blonde.

Hate yourself. You're never gonna look this good.

Oktoberfest brings out the best in German female population.

Remember that Cameron Diaz comparison earlier?

Hotness amplified tenfold.

Her superpowers is apparently to resemble lots of celebrities. Here she looks like Elisa Cuthbert.

And here she looks like my cute neighbour i used to have a crush on.

Feel free to hate yourself. You're never gonna be this beautiful.

Deadline's day crunch time: Transfers i'm still hoping to happen

2012-08-30T06:18:00.002-07:00

Less than 48 hours to go before the transfer deadline. This is one of the best part when you're playing Football Manager. I remembered very well my futile attempt at signing Ronaldinho in 2005, how i restarted the game over and over again but the twat just won't move to Everton. In reality, this is the time where fans hold their breath, hoping for one last signing the club made which could re-define the whole season for them. I am already disappointed that Moussa Dembele didn't go to Man Utd, but luckily he didn't defect to other leagues - instead joining AVB second London revolution. Tears aside, these are some more transfers that i wish to see happening. They didn;t come fromany rumors, but more wishful thinking on my part.

1. Bastian Schweinsteiger to Arsenal

Arsenal got Santi Cazorla in the fantasy role in the squad. But with Alex Song gone, the squad looks even more lightweight than ever. To rely solely on Abou Diaby is simply ridiculous, and no matter how many posession they will get, they would need somebody to break up attacks int he middle of the park. Hell, even '99% posession' Spain got Sergi Biscuits to looks uglier than everyone else in the park.

Enter Bastian Schweinsteiger. I have always had some degree of man crush on the man, and i never fathom why he's still at Bayern. Imagine him sitting in the middle of the park next to the more aesthetic Arteta (jeez, that phrase sounds good), both nor AM nor DM, both great exponent of the ball. In theory, it could work. Moreover, it would add some manliness to Arsenal pretty boys squad.

2. Klaas Jan Huntelaar to Liverpool

So now Liverpool gonna turn themselves into some sort of Swansea-lite, which themselves are Barcelona-lite. So that makes them Liverpoolona. So they gonna practice the art of passing the opposition to death until acres of space are opening up for Andy Carroll to score. Ouch. Or maybe Fabio Borini. No, not im either. Dirk Ku- oh, he already buggered off to Persia.

So unless they unearth the new Messi, they would really need someone to turn all the posession into goals. A mobile striker which can run into space and have enough technical ability and intelligent to fit into the Brendan Rodgers philosophy. How about Klaas Jan Huntelaar? The hunter has sit on the fringe of the elites for quite some time already. Time for someone to believe in him and give him the chances he need.

3. Leighton Baines to Arsenal

Instead of letting their best left back bugger off to other clubs who is the richest in the land at the time being, how about if Arsene gets himself one who has - for some time - threatened to displace Ashley Cole in the national team? Leighton Baines has been linked with big clubs in the past - Man Utd, Bayern Munich. Since Sir Alex's interest in Baines is well documented, how about Arsene getting one up on him by signing him?

Of course, Baines had to bring some dimension to the team. Though arguably similar to Andre Santos, Baines offer better crossing ability and that extra bit of grit they have been lacking in recent years. Andre more than make up for it with his repertoire of skills tho, so this is one transfer that might not be a win-win situation for both club tho. I just really want to see Baines at a big club, and make that final step as England's no one leftback.

4. Giovanni dos Santos to Swansea

Another lost talent? Not quite. Everyone seems to forget that he's relatively young, and still have lots of time to display the kinds of explosive talent he really posess. Remember - he and Messi used to be whispered in the same breath at Barcelona dressing rooms.

Swansea would be a team that fits him, provided he makes some tweaks to his playing style. Michael Laudrup could be the man to get the best out of him, utilising him somewhere in the attacking third. Provided he adds more teamwork and intelligence to his play, he might still not fulfill his vast youthful potential, but he could be the player that can propel Swansea as a regular top half club.

5. Daniel de Rossi to Man City/Chelsea

Now why would i want de Rossi to go to either of these two moneybags? Simple. Because he would be the perfect addition to both squad brimming with attacking talents, where he would simply concentrate on destroying the opposition. The man is a gladiator. The man is AS Roma. Well, that last analogy might be the one that prevented him from seeking pastures new elsewhere, but Daniel de Rossi would be two handfuls for all the trequartistas in the EPL right now. Sitting next to Yaya Toure, or Nigel de Jong, or Vincent Kompany, or even Jack Rodwell (christ, this team are tough - don't they?), de Rossi have the Gerrard-like ability to take the game by the scruff of the neck should they come up against teams like Real Madrid or Barcelona.

In Chelsea, it would be a different scenario. There, he would be entrusted to protect all the young ducklings behind and in front of him, a probable source of inspiration to the likes of Hazard, Mata etc. While his addition to Man City would make it a more intimidating team, his addition to Chelsea would lean more towards necessity. De Rossi would give greater protection than what Ramirez and Obi could offer, giving space to all the Chelsea fantasistas to create without having to worry about defending.

Bonus:Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi to swap clubs. It would be a fun exercise to debate about.

Cristiano Ronaldo's Supermodel Wags.. the irresistable Irina Shayk!

2012-08-30T02:25:00.001-07:00

What differentiate CR's wag apart from the other Wags out there? All of them are pretty. All of them are hot. But Irina Shayk goy to be the Wag with the best toned sculpted body out there. Look at her, you'll catch my drift. Anyway, to clear any confusion which may arise, she's not the mother of CR's child. She's his girlfriend, and i gotta admit that these two together are like the union of two of nature's most perfect physical specimens. Well, enjoy the pic. Apparently, due to body painting not considered nudity, i am finally able to post pictures of a fully nude Wag on this site. Don't ask me. I don't get Internet logic as well.

The bandage dress which shows all the curves.

This is a painted on bikini. How does this not considered nudity?

Wag with the hottest bod?

This should be sculpted and preseved. Forever.

Aww.. ain't these two perfect together?

That tight bandage dress.

This is a nude girl. With painted on clothes. Internet logic indicates she's not nude.

Images of Messi losing

2012-08-30T01:58:00.003-07:00

We all know Messi. That totally unsmug all-around nice guy, who everyone can't seem to hate eventhough he basically didn't let anyone else betters him and his team. On those rare occasion when he lose however, only the hardest cynics or a die-hard Real Madridistas would enjoy the sight. Here are some images of him losing in a Barcelona shirt. Let's not mention him losing while playing for Argentina. That's another guy altogether.

Losing to Chelsea.

Crying after an El Classico defeat.

Looks like he had hated losing since he's had this haircut.

A contolled emotion, but one of devastation.

Probably Messi at his weakest.

He really hates losing.

Another grimace.

Apparently everyone's a loser in this bright orange shirt.

More matured. But defeat still ekes him.

Losing is his Kryptonite.

Footballer's Twitter 28.08.12

2012-08-28T09:01:00.001-07:00

Top footballer tweets for today;

‏@rafvdvaart

Sorry to see Luka go. A great player and person! I wish him all the best at my old club #RealMadrid

‏@themichaelowen

Loving the European Ryder Cup team. Poulter a great Wild Card pick. Not many get near him at Matchplay.

‏@Mark__Bright

Does Colin Murray look like Clarke Kent or what? #motd

‏@therealstevenpi

Welcome Nuri Hope u enjoy merseyside

‏@louissaha08

It seems the Barcelona shirt saying " Look out we are on Fire"

and the usual tweet merchant..

‏@Joey7Barton

Maybe this is time to dumb down and be dishonest. It seems to take you a long way in this game...

Transfer deadline days: Rumors and possiblities!

2012-08-28T08:36:00.000-07:00

There are only three days to go until the transfer deadline days, and there's bound to be some last minute dealings. The last minute scramblings over player's signature, the shock transfers, the new Wags fans of a club will look forward to seeing in the stand. In some cases, the positive vibe from these transfers is enough to propel the club into a momentum which would help them go on a winning streak. There are the possibility of tactical tweaks, significant upgrades on the squad, and many more.

These are the deadline day transfer rumors which i wish to see happening. More often than not, it's only rumors but well, we as fans can always hope!

1. Julio Cesar to QPR

The rumors started after that 5-0 pastings they received from Swansea in the opening fixture. Should it happen, it would downright be a panic purchase from Mark Hughes. There wasn't so much logic in buying another keeper so soon after you acquired an England international between the sticks - even if it's Rob Green. Just imagine what it would do to the lad's confidence. But it would be nice to see a Brazil international on these shores - we don't get too many of them!

2. Moutinho to Tottenham Hotspurs

Now that they've ended that friggin Luka Modric saga once and for all, it would be nice to see who would be brought in to replace him. Ideally, Rafael van der Vaart would take the main playmaking position - he always had the talent and application, and he's never quick enough to be an out and out winger by the way. So his midfield partner should be someone that fits the current position he occupy in Spurs, in the centre of the park with license to roam forward - aiding to make plays and tucking in for defensive duty. Joao Moutinho would fits the role nicely. Deemed not creative enough to be the main playmaker for country, but not quite covered in deensive glory either. Just enough to balance the play next to Sandro.

3. Moussa Dembele to Man Utd

Watching last week's fixture of Fulham against MUFC, i can only marvel at Dembele plays. He's involved in everything positive about Fulham, be it the attack or the defensive work he did. Still not a household name, but a move to Man Utd would do the man mountain lots of good. He could have the same effect to Man Utd, what Yaya Toure is for Man City. Look at the accompanying picture and marvel at the physical speciment. Tell me you wouldn't want that guy minding your midfield. Simply put, Moussa is immense.

4. Yohan Cabaye to Arsenal

Initially it was Nuri Sahin who's primed to take a place in Arsenal midfield. After he chose to aid the Brendan Rodgers 'Liverpoolona' revolution, Cabaye's name has came up to fill the void left by Alex Song. A direct comparison would favor Cabaye - though creative, he's more physical, put in more grunt work and run a lot more than Sahin, thus making him the ideal partner to Arteta. Sahin and Arteta are similar in one way - both had grace, but opposition could find that quite easy to exploit.

5. Michael Owen to anywhere(Everton, please?)

Here's a player i had so much heart for. I never can bring myself to say that he's a has-been. I always had hope that he'll rediscover that scoring boot, and he'll get that final England call up. Maybe he will even lead the country in Brazil 2014, reinvented as a Klose-type poacher. So, why Everton? Fans from the 90s and early 2000s would probably know that it's his boyhood club. So just imagine him leading them into Europe once again at the expense of Liverpool. Okay, it could be the other way around as well.

So those are the transfers that i wish happened. Out of five, probably none of those would came close. But if they do, it could be a win-win situation for both the club and the player.

I would have love to include Neymar's possible transfer to Chelsea or Man City (c'mon, those are the only clubs rich/bonkers enough to buy him), but i just don't see it happening. Meanwhile, entertain yourselves to his former Wag, the ridiculously hot girl next door Fernanda Barosso.

Chris Smalling hot girlfriend.. topless model Sam Cooke!

2012-08-26T04:41:00.001-07:00

Christ, what's up with these Man Utd players? It seems that all the hot ones are at their club. There's Shinji's wags, and there's Chris Smalling girlfriend, Sam Cooke who poses nude and topless. I'm not gonna post the NSFW ones, you gonna Google them yourselves pervs. But here are the best of SFW Sam Cooke. Speaking of Smalling, he's nowhere near the pitch in Man Ud victory against Fulham yesterday, so the lucky bloke must've lotsa quality times to spend with the hottie. Some people have all the luck.

"Sam Cooke? Who might that be? Aye, i Googled it and it's just some dude who sings. What? Googled it on Safesearch off?"

"Hi Chris. I promise i'll treat you just like my own brother from now on."

Like this article? Then i suggest you read this article about Shinji Kagawa's pornstar girlfriend! Or maybe you want to ogle the ridiculously hot mom of Neymar's daughter!

Football Articles you must read today; 26th August 2012

2012-08-26T04:23:00.003-07:00

It's the midst of second league fixtures for most leagues, and here are the compilation of links to football related articles you must read today from around the web. Sorry, there won't be any Wags link you perv. Well, there's a great piece on Michu's transfer to Swanselona, a detail preview on what to expect from Bundesliga this season, a look in at Rooney's injury, and apparently a Man City player decided sod all and jet off to Sunderland.

Michu's transfer to Swansea highlights La Liga sorry state;
http://www.football365.com/spanish-thing/8007663/Michu-Signals-A-Strange-Sickness-In-Spain

Bundesliga Preview of the 2012-2013 season;
http://www.worldsoccer.com/features/germany-preview-of-the-2012-13-season

Rooney's injury. Is It the end of the bull's life in Old Trafford?
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1311128-manchester-united-vs-fulham-what-wayne-rooneys-injury-will-mean-for-red-devils

Damn. They got no wingers now.
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1310441-breaking-news-sunderland-sign-adam-johnson-to-four-year-deal

Memes on.. Liverpool fan!

2012-08-21T02:43:00.001-07:00

The truth is, being a Liverpool fan for the past decade sucks big time. You can say whatever you want, but being stuck in a limbo is probably worst than being a fan of a yo-yo club. I have immense respect for true Liverpool fans out there, regardless of whatever that means nowadays.

Here are the internet takes on being Liverpool fans. Most are predictable, based on the personality of each meme. The internet have always been able to pick on anything, and admittedly Liverpool are very easy pickings. It's like the loud kid who tells everyone he used to beat that bully in first grade, or the former guitar hero that tells everyone this will be the year he made that breakthrough album.

Well, here are the memes! Hope everyone enjoyed it, regardless of whether you're a Reds or a non-Red!

The ultimate troll.

The idiot football fangirl everyone hates but pretends to listens to get themselves laid.

The other ultimate troll.

I would love to hang out with this version of the Liverpool fan.

Replace the word Liverpool with Man Utd.

That terrifying house guest.

The scouser reference, apparently.

Another poke of 'living in the past' angle.

It has more to do with having to hang on to a hope.

Anything that bring downs the Red Devils apparently.

Sadly, this applies to all fans of every clubs at one point of their life.

You can cut and paste the managers names.

The standard reaction after a game?

Robin van Persie's meme from the net!!

2012-08-21T02:09:00.001-07:00

Well, the start of RvP's life at Man Utd didn't quite pan out exactly the way he had planned. The club he left managed a draw at Sunderland, and probably determined to do worst than them, he helped Man Utd to lose against Ever-so skint-ton by not managing to register a single shot on goal. Well, here's a collection of memes about the man who the Gooners once called God.

So is his luck begins to change for the better?

And to not shoot at goal.

You'tr not world class when Wenger signs you, either.

And you're not even my favourite son! Not like a certain Catalan!

Turning turds into golds, exactly.

Sign him.

I'm the top dog!

And replace him with a 9 year old which will be sold once he turns world class.

Too couture'd to do it, actually.

Stomach that Arsene. Fabregas has Barca inside his DNA. RvP's little boy is itching for Man Utd. Soon Wilshere's would pines for Swansea.

Disagree with RvP being the butt of jokes? Maybe you would like to read these ones about Andy Carroll. Or some Mario Balotelli jokes!

Jokes on Bosingwa, Terry, RVP and Andy Carroll!

2012-08-08T06:33:00.000-07:00

Once he gets it, the weight of the joke causes him to play like an idiot.

Lampard? I thought you were a good guy all along!

Bump.

Will he, or won't he go?

Ready to drop the humor and switch to a more serious topic? How about reading the exploits of these one club legends?

Drogba and Anelka in Shanghai

2012-08-08T05:47:00.001-07:00

The Drog and Le Sulk in Shanghai.

Brace Yourselves

2012-08-08T05:36:00.000-07:00

Brace yourselves, the new season is coming.

Well, there could be more adequate way to adress the arrival of the new season. But the modified line from Game of Thrones seems to be the most apt, given that the storyline in a football season would give more twist and turns then the fight for Winterfell.

So what have we got here? A new look Chelsea, another Liverpool revolution, that time when Sir Alex is looking to put another upstart in his place, that same upstart constant whining about not having enough personnel to sustain the title, and of course - another year where Arsenal will lose their biggest player.

What have i missed there? Oh - AVB coming to rejuvenate a club, Moyes to overachieve, and the dreaded second season syndrome for the three promoted clubs last year who manage to stay up. And this is just the EPL.

Elsewhere, PSG is looking to have one of the most dynamic offenses in Europe. Ibrahimovic, Nene, Lavezzi and Pastore would be handy even for Barcelona and Real to handle. Then there's that Thiago bloke at the other end of the pitch. And before you meet him, you got to meet the rest of his friends in front of him - Motta, Sissoko, Matuidi et al. That's quite a creme of DMs they got.

Real - Barca? The duopoly would continue. Cristiano and Messi would continue their fight for supremacy, both assisted by very able players - Xavi, Iniesta, Villa, Alba of Barca; Alonso, Benzema, Ozil etc etc of Real.

So, what would the new season promises? It might not be as great a finale as last season's, but it will still be thrilling. And let's thank God that we would be able to enjoy the ride.

Wootball Wags: Neymar's fabulous tho duckface-loving Wag.

2012-07-27T01:39:00.000-07:00

I could find a thousand reason to love Neymar's girlfriend, the lovely Fernanda Barroso. What i like about these pictures are the fact that how she looks as if she could be one of our friends/girlfriends. For one, all these duckface pictures made her blend right in with all the Facebook girls that we know of. You could try Googling her name; and you'll get lots and lots of pictures with everyday vibes.

Familiar pose, familiar facial expression.

This bundle of hotness would crossed into our mind a lot when Neymar comes to Europe.

The vibe here says "a girl you had a crush on since fourth grade".

That could've been a girl in our neighbourhood.

Neymar set his eyes on her for obvious reasons.

This seals the affection i had for her.

See the last picture. This lovely girl bore Neymar a lovely baby. I had to admit, i wasn't a big fan of flamboyant Neymar. But this is the one sole pic of him that i can watch for minutes and smile, appreciating the joy of a guy who held something very dear to him in his arm.

Not enough wags for you? Then try this piece on this pornstar wag! Or maybe you had enough or being a perv and wants to look at these handsome bastards for a change.

Shinji Kagawa jokes!

2012-07-24T02:12:00.003-07:00

Hey there! It might be hard to make the likable Shinji as the butt of these jokes, but internet satirist will always find something to harp on! For instance, this joke:

New Manchester United signing Shinji Kagawa has arrived at Old Trafford with his girlfriend, who is an Asian Pornstar.
"It can be difficult moving to a new country, but I will do all I can to welcome them and I will treat Shinji like a brother", said Ryan Giggs.

"I pledge to do to you all i've done to my brother."

Search as i might, it seems that this Shinji bloke is a likable enough fella that there are not enough decent jokes on him on the net. There's really only one i can find! And you won't believe how much time i spent compiling these types of jokes. So here's something that the internet community would usually find funny though annoying. A duckface.

In your face, Shinji!

Okay, i really give up. I can't find or think of any joke on Shinji, minus all those Asian streotype jokes which would simply be tasteless. The duckface by the way, is hot personified. I would forgive it anytime. And you wouldn't believe how much i hated duckface.

My last resort are memes. And even then, these are the only ones i could find.. well, hats off Shinji. You got two Bundesliga titles, you've got yourself a megabuck deals to ManYoo, the hottest Wag on the planet at the time of writing, and you've trumped me by having almost zero jokes on you. You've done good, boy.