Topical Vacation

Episode 3.14 – I’m Outta Here!

Topical Vacation — Thu, 23 May 2013 11:00:04 +0000

Emily does another dance • Quality of the Quantity • Ender isn’t lazy • No more phone calls • A cheap plug for Joint Custody Productions • Free quotes • Ender gets real • The Segway: What is summer? • Nope, we didn’t get storms • “Topical Storm” names • Clipping the dog • CS4D at Out Front on Main • Spoiler Alert – “We think they killed Richard” • Junior names • “I would have been right there!” • Emails: The Topical Vacation Show, Arrested Development • Ender gets mad about the mic cable again • The End of The Show: The PWA Show and RAW Nashville • Emily finally got a vacuum.

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Episode 3.13 – This Sucks!

Topical Vacation — Thu, 02 May 2013 11:00:35 +0000

Chicken Bop • Vacuum cleaner time • Drinking game with The PWA Show • Ender’s shoddy idea for a Topical Vacation drinking game • Send us your ideas on a Topical Vacation drinking game! • Shut up! • Ender thinks there’s a camera • Adam And JP ask a question on Twitter • Starting a business • Trying to sound like Bobcat Goldthwait • Howling in the bedroom • Emily wins another award • Emails: Fram butt; Andrew Lloyd Webber, Meat Loaf, U2, and more; sprug; The Voice of Reason • The End of The Show: Vacuum cleaners… again.

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Episode 3.12 – The Revenge of The Poop Mower!

Topical Vacation — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 11:00:08 +0000

Wanting to do the show live • Sing Along! • Emily’s weird dances and pantomimes • Putting the cart before the horse • Common Sense for Dummys at Out Front On Main • The Segway: The Poop Mower • Emily’s Craigslist story • The shorts angle • Air guitar or electric chair execution? • Read That Stuff: Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton • Proposing over email • Public bathroom prizes • Snoopy is the go-to • Stockwood Syndrome • Where can cartoon characters go? • The End of The Show: Fighting the Red Baron • Maeby gets kisses.

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Episode 3.11 – Ouch!

Topical Vacation — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 11:00:37 +0000

The Sound of Pollen • Garfunkel cookie • The Segway: Bozo The Clown, IT, wild turkeys • We get racey, and it’s kinda wrong • How to make the dog go in the toilet • Milo and Otis with a Chicken • Nazi turkeys • Thanks to Adam and JP Show • Emily Words • Working on The Topical Vacation Show • Emails: Little airplane and rules of competition; Squiggly sports • Sports vs. Competitions • The End of The Show: The PWA Show changing things up • Sweeps.

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Episode 3.10 – You Know You’re A Badass When People Crap Their Pants At The Mention of Your Name

Topical Vacation — Thu, 04 Apr 2013 11:00:03 +0000

Emily’s a Badass! • So-And-So’s Island • Does Emily have a Wikipedia? • Crapping your own pants • There’s only one Lemonymous • Poor Geoffrey • Ender’s podcast episode idea • Was Emily’s April Fools prank successful • An example of “Crap Science“ • Emily’s quick Puerto Rico trip highlights • Coconuts and Ketchup • Where we keep memories • Read That Stuff: “Second Glance” by Jodi Picoult • Emails: Innie or outtie; opposite sex features • Name our Fan Club! • End of The Show: “Bottoms we go!”

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Episode 3.09 – Going Down South America Way!

Topical Vacation — Thu, 28 Mar 2013 12:00:52 +0000

Toenail painting • Arrested Development coming back • Emily is going to Puerto Rico • Geography escapes us • Why we need to video broadcast the show live • The law about all-inclusive resorts • There are two Virgin Islands? • Stupid bar laws and Casinos • Trinidad and Tobago • Customs station on the Moon • Emily Words • The truth about Kokomo • Hamster and The Hendersons • Emails: Wassabi on the Dreidel, Movie of our Lives, Horatio Hornblower, Rest-of-Your-Life food • Pinwheel Emily Steele.

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Photo by Speaking Latino via Flickr

Episode 3.08 – I Sounded Kinda Chinese There, Didn’t I?

Topical Vacation — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 12:00:17 +0000

Picking from two potential titles • Celebrating St. Patty’s Day • How Emily was Punk’d • How Emily handles haunted houses • Goofy‘s cousin • Emily throws down for April Fools • How hullabaloos are screwed up • Mic slapping • Ender’s Halloween embarrassment • Bosom Buddies comes up again • Are Peter Scolari and Estelle Getty separated at birth? • Irish accents • The Segway: Weight Watchers • Read That Stuff: Salmon Rushdie’s THE SATANIC VERSES • New plate at the Flying Saucer • The End of The Show: Subdermal Hematoma • Upper infectoid trifoctus Snuffleupagus.

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Episode 3.07 – Two Sickies On The Couch

Topical Vacation — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 12:00:23 +0000

Changing how the title works • The Podcasting Chi • Making fun of Ender being sick • Right after college • Lying on the answering machine • How some people just aren’t funny • Picturing yourself • One’s “funny” tell • New Celebrity Apprentice • Word association • Brain messages • Smelling the room • Humor exploding all over your face • CS4D’s adventures at RAW Nashville • The sewing kit • Deep voices • CS4D will be at Out Front on Main in May • Honeycomb • Emails: Choosing to moose; Cloging • Dropping B & B Portraits into the show • The End of The Show: Long legs, short arms • “Asterisk”.

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Episode 3.06 – I’m Cold

Topical Vacation — Thu, 21 Feb 2013 12:00:10 +0000

How the “Cold Open” works • Ender handles the theme song • Daffy Duck antics • The story of Garfield in Disguise • The tornado peeks again • Emily doesn’t have an opinion of our own polls • Tornado strikes Nashville • The not-often remembered Power Plant • The Drew Carey look • Twister voices • Emails: Girdo the Look and The Deep Blacks, Juicy injury • The End of The Show: CS4D at Nashville RAW.

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Photo by Daren Naylor via Flickr

Episode 3.05 – t.A.T.u. Sandwich!

Topical Vacation — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 12:00:37 +0000

All the things she said • Why lesbians and sandwiches go together • Lesbian blender • Who knows more lesbians? • Pronoun confusion • Emily Words • Appropriate sexuality questions • CS4D at Nashville RAW Feb 28th! • Imaginary family members • Getting other people to believe in them • Making stories about the cat (and we unfortunately can’t find the book) • Making mini comic books about a special mission task force named after an 80s hair band • Spot the comic strip • Cecelia and Sally are the same imaginary person • Happy Not-Setzer’s Day.

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Photo by plushev via Flickr

Episode 3.04 – Somebody Farted

Topical Vacation — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 12:00:02 +0000

Emily’s new theme song dance • Fart blame • Burping your pants • The story of Ender’s estranged “daughter” • Whispering for the censors • James Bond impressions • Dog/Cat poop – when two become one • Tabasco Turds • A mention of comedian John Grimes • Morning Star Gas • New Zealand is the Canada of Australia • Emails: Remembering WuTang; What did Pip purchase? • Emily has been cast in “Open Mic: The Series” – Emily said it wrong on the show • CS4D at RAW Nashville in late February • The End of The Show: Geeks of the world unite! • Airing out the room.

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Episode 3.03 – San Francisco!

Topical Vacation — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 12:00:34 +0000

49ers battle cry • Super Bowl-bound • Jerry Rice-A-Roni • Conditions to winning • Don’t blame Ender for the shootings • The origin of Jets fannage • Did the 49ers actually win Super Bowls? • Bringing it back around to Jerry Rice • Dancing With The Wrestlers • Ashes to Ashes • Control freak • Emails: Marriage arguments; Coke vs. Pepsi; Scariest dream • Blocking Pepsi voters • The End of The Show: What constitutes an actual fan and being “blah”.

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Episode 3.02 – All Reg’d Up And No Place To Go

Topical Vacation — Thu, 10 Jan 2013 12:00:19 +0000

Meat Loaf & Hookers • Emily’s Meat Loaf story • Handling your registration • Coin bank Pterodactyl • Why Emily doesn’t like Daniel Tosh • The microphone argument returns • Near/far • How do Canadians pronounce “emu”? • South Park fandom…ish • Winning an Anthony • Emily learns about Brachiosaurus infections • How stoners watch the show • This Week in The PWA Show: Coke vs. Pepsi Continues • Presidents who don’t need birth certificates • Emails: Superheroes; Writing TV • The End of The Show: Promo discussion.

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Episode 3.01 – Happy New Year!

Topical Vacation — Thu, 03 Jan 2013 12:00:24 +0000

Surviving the Apocalypse ♦ “…the cold freeze” ♦ Shout-Out to The PWA Show, The Show and Beards and Bullshit ♦ Another Shout-Out to Moose and Bear Movies ♦ What’s to come in the New Year ♦ The Segway: Flying Out of Syracuse ♦ “Looking something” ♦ Stuff for Christmas ♦ Jelly of The Month Club ♦ Vera Bradley is gross ♦ Screwing up the ads ♦ This Week in The PWA Show: Coke vs. Pepsi ♦ Polar Bears love Coke ♦ Circular heads ♦ Filming Ronald Reagan ♦ 6-Year Olds ♦ NASCAR cups ♦ Peeing during a race ♦ The End of The Show: What is the End of The Show, Really?

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Episode 2.33 – The Best of 2012

Topical Vacation — Thu, 27 Dec 2012 12:00:47 +0000

It’s time to take a look back at the year that was 2012 for Topical Vacation! We dug through all 32 of this year’s episodes to find you some of the funniest, most random, completely ridiculous clips that we could realistically fit into one hour of listening time! If you’ve never listened to the show before, this is your chance to get in on the fun!

Ep 2.01: Angry Birds the future of terrorism; Hunger Games boy crush ♦ Ep 2.02: Keeping time; London is calling all retards ♦ Ep 2.03: When sound hits the moon ♦ Ep 2.05: Massage farting; Terror plot to abort babies ♦ Ep 2.06: Maxi-Pads vs. Tampons ♦ Ep 2.08: Anniversaries; Compromise ♦ Ep 2.09: You look like Gary Coleman; Getting Bumblebee’s autograph ♦ Ep 2.10: The first poop ♦ Ep 2.11: The hosts go nuts; Emily learns what drums are; “‘Tis of thee, I shall!” ♦ Ep 2.12: Whispering Chicken ♦ Ep 2.14: Italian language is weird ♦ Ep 2.15: It makes noise if you don’t cross your legs; The Raincoat Man ♦ Ep 2.16: Tennis and Dog Shows; Next; Ender The Stupid ♦ Ep 2.18: Dog poop as currency; Putting a lien on your “sex” ♦ Ep 2.20: “I’m gonna go take a choice”; Emily flips out ♦ Ep 2.21: Wegman’s vs. Kroger; Maeby still poops in the house ♦ Ep 2.22: “That’s Pretty Chicken!” ♦ 2.23: The Great “When Did The Olympics Start” Debate ♦ 2.24: Emily invents a science ♦ 2.25: Tuna-fish hand ♦ 2.27: Emily gets upset with Rusty G; Karaoke Disease ♦ 2.30: Triangle Nuclear Bomb ♦ 2.31: What the dog hears; The cheese stands to be picked ♦ 2.32: Chip digging; “You gotta let me flush!”.

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Episode 2.32 – Band-Aid

Topical Vacation — Thu, 13 Dec 2012 13:00:13 +0000

Being afraid of Christmas • Chip digging is practice for the big money • Operation makes Emily cry • Why one should refrain • How can you have surfer Christmas? • Christmas is the same time every year? • Already done decorated • Coke vs. Pepsi is synonymous with Married vs. Divorced • What to blame on Pepsi • New Coke Conspiracy • Singing vagina • “You gotta let me flush!” • First Mics • You’ve been “New-Coked” • Seagram’s Bruce Willis Commercial • Emails: Favorite actors; who wears the pants, deserted island book, flu shots • Last words.

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Episode 2.31 – Just Grate

Topical Vacation — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 19:00:09 +0000

Dogs can hear from “hearphones” • Giving away the trick, and screwing up the acronym • Emily won a screenwriting award • Why we’ve been gone a bit, and a dedication to Grandma • Emily’s opinion of Heaven • Emily won a screenwriting award • Vague recollections of “love-punching” your wife • Should have “Emily Words”d “bicept” • How a Farmer’s Almanac can’t predict farming • Emily won a screenwriting award • How the wife didn’t actually pick the cheese, technically • ADD sets in again • Making death fun • Just Grate‘s premiere in Hollywood • Emily won a screenwriting award • Mr. Belvedere vs. Benson • Donate to the ASPCA • Beards & Bullshit Comedy Festival at Out Front On Main • Ender goes solo on the pode-cast • Emily won a screenwriting award • Carrying the little guy around • The PWA Show cuts a promo on The Show.

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Episode 2.30 – It’s GMX Baby!

Topical Vacation — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 19:00:01 +0000

Recovering from GMX • Geek of A Different Color • Apparition Abolishers • “Nirvana in the Sauna” • Adam Baker • Emily goes on a ghost hunt • Emily Words • Bullet sash • Fake bombs • Virtual Boy • Cosplay • “Gateway Geek” • Feeling better than we did last week • Emily wants her own show • Emails: Triangle Nuclear Bomb, Exposition, Delision, Going Back To School • Definition of “Steam Punk” • Emily sleeps.

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Episode 2.29 – Walking in Memphis

Topical Vacation — Thu, 25 Oct 2012 19:00:56 +0000

How Bruce Hornsby didn’t write “Walking in Memphis”… again. • Ender visits his brother • Where’s Daffy and Donald? • “Smells Like Teen Spirit” ripped off “Ring of Fire” • “Big Bang” theory • The beer gut conspiracy • Ender makes a rookie mistake • Debates are pointless • Obamney • What do you call a person who does pole? • Constant Consonants • The door is a wall • “Smitzch” • Emily knocks Rusty again…ish • “Tutelage” vs “Zootelage” • Emails: Worst jobs, Pro sports pay, McConaughey or Gossling, Fall television • Common Sense for Dummys “Shots for Spot”.

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Episode 2.28 – The Debate That Wasn’t

Topical Vacation — Thu, 18 Oct 2012 19:00:16 +0000

Ender and Emily sit down with their very special guest moderator Jack Heikle from Beards and Bullshit as they attempt to debate important matters that may affect you and those you love… or not… at all, really… Check out the debate that really wasn’t much of a debate at all!

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Episode 2.27 – A Very Special Topical Vacation

Topical Vacation — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 19:00:36 +0000

It’s our 50th episode! • Squox • A quiz on how it all started • 9+8=27 • Square One • It’s okay to lie • Air Supply • Doo Doo Music • To kids who have kids • Nashville • “By the When” • Emily Words • Ender Words? • Understanding exposition • The “foyer” • Emily’s a bit angry with Rusty G • Emails • Marital Distortions • Handwriting emails • Karaoke Disease • “Discord” vs “Discourse” • Some congrats for the show from Korey • And our thanks to him • Jon Crior = Cute… apparently • A speechless Ender • Surprise birthdays.

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Episode 2.26 – Hockey Schmockey!

Topical Vacation — Thu, 27 Sep 2012 19:00:24 +0000

Foot nostrils • The story behind the NHL lockout • Xmas Shopping Insanity • Emily gets locked out • Why do we even talk to The PWA Show? • Chicken means… what?! • Blood vs. Hockey • Sort of Reviewing The PWA Show • Trusting Emily • Emily is called out • Gum chewing • The Innocence of Myths • Ender doesn’t know Beatles history • Emily repeats herself • Emails… sorta… • “If there’s a Walmart, it’s a place” • Moose and Squirrel • You can’t say that • Hitting 50 Episodes next time! • Nashville Horror and Comic Con October 6th and 7th • Giving away kittens • Hitting up GMX late October • Discussing a party you’re not invited to • A quick mention about CS4D Weekend.

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Episode 2.25 – I’m Actually A Good Husband!

Topical Vacation — Thu, 20 Sep 2012 19:00:13 +0000

Ender tries to defend his own honor • A rehash of the whole “food poisoning” episode • How diarrhea is not in and of itself food poisoning • The logic of not being sick • Downplaying an already-downplayed situation • Dying cat noises • “Feel my face” • Forgetting the lesson • Hospital or not? • Conception in absentia • “Let that baby pass” • Emily’s impression of sick Ender • Emails • Hair of a dog’s nipple • Tunafish-smelling hand • Toilet Alley • Following Jessica Fletcher • Pepper Doll Baby • Emily finally understands “British” • Dare to Be Stupid.

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Episode 2.24 – Maeby Was Snubbed Again!

Topical Vacation — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 19:00:38 +0000

“Pissed” is okay • What the English say goes • 2 Fingers • Maeby is cute, just so you know • Animal souls • The Segway: A tribute to Jay Stark • How crabs can ruin the afterlife • Ender’s on the spot, and Emily can’t speak • Emily Word • Ender Math • How the cat remembers stories • Punching the Clown starring Henry Phillips • We are NOT being investigated • See us at the Nashville Horror and Comic Con October 6th and 7th • The Adventures of Joe Bob Boo! • Emails • Doin’ it with the band • Emily invents a science • Who’s the warrior? • Catch ya ’round the downtown!

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Episode 2.23 – Back to School Time!

Topical Vacation — Thu, 23 Aug 2012 19:00:05 +0000

The things Drew Carey did • County vs. District = No School • Property taxes go south • Neighbor etiquette • The Segway: Who Cares About The Olympics? • Ender’s alternate history • Olympic Dodge Pole • Why pole dancing isn’t in the Olympics • The Great “When Did The Olympics Start” Debate • Poor Heidi Jo… • Check out Take The Stairs • Another Email segment • Plosive Diarrhea • How do you get rid of zits? • Ender snores • A Twilight snafu in Seattle • The only way to watch Twilight • Rocking the Rifftrax.

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Episode 2.22 – Happy Birthday, Maeby!

Topical Vacation — Thu, 16 Aug 2012 19:00:38 +0000

It’s the dog’s “birthday” • Dognip in a squeak toy • Dogs are selfish • Help Emily reach her $600 goal on Baghdad Pups • On the foster list • More squeaks • Foster butt • Squeaky communication • Dog waists • Ender loves the sparkly jeans • Emily screws up the email • Why men can’t wear women’s clothes • “That’s a human person”! • “That’s pretty chicken” • Red = Roam = Rome • Cheese cereal • How do you pronounce “Reese’s”? • Reaching for taste • Emails for the first time • Praise for The Show • Forgetting relatives’ birthdays • More on Fifty Shades of Grey.

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Episode 2.21 – No One Else Cares (That She’s Emily Steele)

Topical Vacation — Thu, 09 Aug 2012 19:00:17 +0000

Licking off the Salt and Vinegar • Crunch • Love for Wegman’s • Kroger won’t let you choose your meats • Buns or rolls? • What’s in a veggie dog? • Facebook grammar for professionals • Forgetting number 1 • Facebook is a resume now • Miss Emily Thang • Emily Words • Bad birthdates • “Humpy Fingernails” • A pseudo-history of school shootings • All tragedies have three acts • Captain Correction Returns • Ender‘s ex-fiance: Willow • When Stephen was a Prince • Ender’s obsession with Ferris and Zack • A long discussion about teenage obsessions • Maeby still poops in the house • Dog video games • Getting cultured on The Graduate • Here’s to you, Mrs. Roosevelt.

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Episode 2.20 – I’m Awesome!

Topical Vacation — Thu, 02 Aug 2012 19:00:40 +0000

Being “family friendly”… for certain families • Ender makes a funny • Breaking the attitude • The Hyena • Perfect Sync • Explaining the 48 Hour Film Festival • Wendy’s bitch • The Batman Rises • Emily takes all of the credit • Ender doesn’t pick up on “Breast Screenplay” • Counting films matters • Complaining honestly • Baited • Taco Bell Branch… of peace • Arguing over pie is for married couples • “I’m gonna go take a choice” • Ender can’t spell • Our take on Chick-Fil-A • Black chickens? • Why no cheese curd, Publix? • “I eat my chicken with feathers” • Slim Fozzy • Hulu and Apple TV – together again for the first time! • The Dark Knight Rises • Best “I was right” award • A letter into the show for Emily • Verbatim hurts • Shaking the bed • The Olympics: Who Cares? • Richard Simmons LIVE! • “Fart on a duck”.

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Episode 2.19 – Boobs: 1 Kilometer!

Topical Vacation — Thu, 19 Jul 2012 19:00:07 +0000

Assisting the chronologically impaired • Doing what Ender wants • How a delay turns into chaos • Airline code names • How Friends explains air travel • A well-timed bathroom break • If you don’t want to go bowling you don’t have to • Trip insurance = big whoop • Emily goes off on weather • Marriage tag team • Emily goes off on U2‘s “The Sweetest Thing” • Italy is full of Tim Todds (schedulingly-speaking) • Newts in Italy • Comparing DNA • Eating vegetarian Italian food doesn’t make sense • Itching ears.

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Episode 2.18 – Get Yer Kids Outta Here!

Topical Vacation — Thu, 12 Jul 2012 19:00:04 +0000

How Dr. Phil gets pissed • Child restaurant ban • Who you can’t ban from Walmart • Why Ender likes Target • Snot • The Segway: Picking Bones • Hearing about ginger ale • How dog poop became currency in our relationship • The “F” word is still PG-13 • Moving on is so hard to do • Catch 22 for husbands • Fifty Shades of “Oh My!” • Ender gets caught reading mommy porn • How does something written so poorly sell so much • Who says “my sex”? • Putting a lien on your sex • Good on ya, Katie! • Shout out to The PWA Show hitting up Scientology • Praying to Xanadu • Shutting up the naysayers • Punching holes in the Global Warming theory • Hanging ’round the shoe rack • The science of cleaning the litter box • Emily’s alternative to podcasting.

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Episode 2.17 – Ciao

Topical Vacation — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 19:00:08 +0000

Nobody else makes chow • Leaving for Italy • This could be our last episode • We are prophets • The mystery of the closed door • Ender has another episode • Quiet Time: Ender Shuts Up… Sort Of… • Tips for criminal activity • Ghost extermination, the Orkin way • Rusty don’t know Orkin • Pitching Moose and Bear Movies (not an advertisement) • Our female listeners are how smart? • Where to find your favorite beer • Our own “beer” scale • How you know you’re an alcoholic • Pocket-fisting • Self-deprecation takes a group-think turn • Intelligent phones • The believability of our potty breaks • Thank God! • Taking the effort.

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Episode 2.16 – Pre-Empted Again?!

Topical Vacation — Thu, 14 Jun 2012 19:00:54 +0000

Post-venting • The Freakin’ French Open • Tennis and Dog Shows • Okay, cat shows, then… • Calling Ender out • The future for Soap Opera stars is Gracie Sez Hai • The Segway: Next! • “My Own Grammatical Universe” • Ender The Stupid • Spelling out the Segway joke • The House Warming Party • “Crashing in Nashville” • Dental Exams in Memphis • Sorry, Sam • Emily becomes Mary-Ann • D-Brew is Emily’s favorite part of the party • Emily Words • Courting Rusty G • Kidnapping the Gnome • Getting a date for Tim Todd • Movies with Kenny G • Kryptonian education • Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut • Correcting the Bruce Hornsby mistake.

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Episode 2.15 – I Have An Answer To Your Question

Topical Vacation — Thu, 31 May 2012 19:00:16 +0000

Ender holds his breath • Italian articles • Microphone anger… again • “Moto”. “Moto”. • Guessing what it means • Headphones, meet the Microphone • The semantics of Group-Think • A Tuscan Slap • Kate Walsh + Lesbian = Ender will watch • Emily grows up a bit • And… more microphone anger • It makes noise if you don’t cross your legs • Sticking things up your nose • Soccer-Mom Hair • Italians say “No” to long hair • Doan? • Defining imaginary words • Fans… the cool ones • The Raincoat Man • Neighborhood Watch • Snowcoat Man • The Celebrity Apprentice Finale • Controlling the cheese.

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Episode 2.14 – Happy International British Day

Topical Vacation — Thu, 24 May 2012 19:00:19 +0000

The sun never sets… • Finding Glee • The French invade • And the Germans follow • The DC Comics character who should be gay • Don’t call them “Flip Flops” • The real reason we call it the “EU” • Jolly good crap • The French just won’t go away • How did the Australians get here? • What constitutes citizen ownership? • Everyone loves England • What’s Canada all about? • Dividing America like a cookie sheet • George Michael is the same as “That Monty Python Guy” • It’s not cool when Madonna pretends to be British • “Open mouth, insert gay” • America goes nuts with their fads • The French lemonaude • Invading Italy • Italian language is weird • Man-about-town? • International marriage.

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Photo by a.drian via Flickr

Episode 2.13 – We Have A Baby!

Topical Vacation — Thu, 17 May 2012 19:00:37 +0000

And the title goes wrong… again… • Church feet • The theme rules • The Greatest Great British Hero • “Windy”? Really? • Common Sense for… Ventriloquist Dummies… • Howie Mandel Doodie • The uppers and lowers of the North • Ender Bowen is Today’s Special • Create things that say “Ender Bowen Cabbie Hat” for Google searches • When Emily is tired she might as well be drunk • Prom etiquette • It isn’t our baby • Just for the taste of it… a pee break • “Calowie” • The first two attempts always fail • Code names • How I Met Your Mother season finale spoilers • The PWA Show finally invades!

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Episode 2.12 – Owie!

Topical Vacation — Fri, 11 May 2012 02:44:42 +0000

Spelling the title • Cats suck sometimes • Do you like the new studio? • Emily ruins another joke • Tub wars • Sweeping the nation • Take chances: chop his head off • Clearance, Clarence • Sticking to the chair • Bunsen Burger • Driving one’s nuts head • Cross-eyed brains • Whispering Chicken • We should play “What’s That Sound”? • Housing the underwear • Special Cool! • Vaginal people • Can’t Argue With That is starting back up! • Thus dow openeth • Duos who are better than Simon and Garfunkel • What can I do with these deaf ears? • Stealth stealing • An The Avengers review…ish… • How do you pronounce “Steven Weber” • Thor or Nuclear Man • Spoke it wrong in my mouth • Miss Clarity.

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Episode 2.11 – It’s Closing Time!

Topical Vacation — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 18:00:55 +0000

Foot rhythm • Semi-Sonic • Put the room up the pole • Don’t ruin the joke • Where the stud is • The Segway: Our Cat Begs • Poo-pooing sweet potatoes • Cats wanna play too • The rules of licensing • Companies as separate entities • Cat puke • Ender goes off on the microphone-holding again • How we ripped off our own TopVac Tracks • Emily ruins Quiet Time • Stop Ender’s Face! • Aaaaaand the hosts go nuts • Emily learns what drums are • “‘Tis of Thee, I Shall!” • The poor engineering of drumsets • And the Predators are into Round 2! • Egyptians walk… like themselves • Jewish food • Yeast inspection • Beating Cartman to death • That song Emily liked • Emily gives away her voicemail password • Tim’s guest spot • A heads-up for brides • We didn’t plan numbers.

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Episode 2.10 – Who Says Cassettes Are Dead?

Topical Vacation — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 18:00:41 +0000

How tapes work • The place smells • The story of the first poop • Being weighed down • Packing for the big move • Emily ditches Debbie Gibson • Asking her first doesn’t make it okay • Mac & Cheese doesn’t work late at night • The Segway: The Voicemail • The PWA Show completes each others’ sentences • Accent prerequisites • Korey Hodges is evil! • Iraqistan is a country • Illegal straylians • Kangaroo bucks • Dogs are working for terrorists • Happy Birthday to Emily! • Barry Manilow ticket prices • The famous magician Penn Teller • Killing Bono • Talking about shows • Survivor: X-Men • The science of sitcoms.

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Episode 2.09 – Cold, Crisp, Refreshing Sugar Flavored Syrup!

Topical Vacation — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 17:15:08 +0000

Correcting our own title • The piece picker-upper • Just say no to Will Ferrell • Accidental soda • Soda liability insurance • Acronyms suck • Nothing suggestive about Strawberry Shortcake’s features • Ender and his cousin Sarah are the same person • Completely forgetting what we’ve done on TopVac Tracks • Why Shrinky Dinks are a stupid idea… but a good learning experience • Being annoying Brits again • The Production Constitution • Staying home in the past • Your face is your mom • Look like Gary Coleman! • Patrick is not Phil • Keeping in touch is not your responsibility (it’s the other person’s) • Stop touching people • How to shoot down an argument • Getting first dibs on naming friends • Being unintentionally racially offensive • Robin Hood sparks theme park violence • Ender hypothetically meets Bumblebee • Republican Primates • Emily Words Returns • Playmates • Emily makes a lyric better • Voting for Mike Bumblebee • Microphone dressing • Going nuts with the sound board again • Transforming back in time • The Cow Experience • Drop A Time Boop.

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Episode 2.08 – Happy Anniversary!

Topical Vacation — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 18:00:49 +0000

Celebrating a certain anniversary • The truth about anniversaries and women • How Ender didn’t actually compromise • How mean dogs make other dogs alright by comparison • Ender, Interrupted • The Segway: Operation Baghdad Puppies • Donate to Operation Baghdad Puppies • Doggy Visas • When no one is listening, Emily‘s accents are spot on • Another Anchorman and Dumb & Dumber • The awesomeness of The Hunger Games • Breaking the “Leave One” rule • “Sesame Street” for adults • Rich People Bitchin’ • Missing the point of Animal Farm • Why school kids need to be supervised • First Pipes – “I’ve Lost My Knife!” • How does one assess one’s own reading? • Shapes • 14 gets younger as we get older.

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Episode 2.07 – Spit Take!

Topical Vacation — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 01:00:32 +0000

Celebrating like we’re Irish • How a free shot can go wrong • The Anti-Christ of Whiskey • Ender becomes El Gigante • Almost no a-holes on St. Patrick’s Day • Why you shouldn’t park in the “tiny hole” • Right from the horse’s mouth • Feeding the homeless on $18 a plate • Maeby lays on a cloud • Is “chocked” a word? • The logic of buying restaurant food • How airports can help the homeless • Whether to feed a homeless man or his dog • The horrors of soda • Sunny D is gross and dangerous! • New York and the “sin tax” • Where the “wazoo” is located • Peyton Manning joins the Mile High Club • Now we won’t have a superstar in Nashville • Buffalo Bill – the first Knighted Indian • Backflash.

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Episode 2.06 – We Have Got to Move!

Topical Vacation — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 01:00:41 +0000

Ender gives away too much info • The difference between Maxi-pads and Tampons • Code words for “female problems” • Steeling punch lines • The Mediterranean Vagina • The science of moving • Early “female problems” science • “Forethought’s your foe” • There’s an A-hole in every group • The death of the Gorgeous Corvette • Broadcasting to the mob • Itching to move to a new house • Emily gets beer spilled on her • Sucking at karaoke • The PWA Show Occupies Frist • Tim rides the bull • Ender doesn’t edit out the “F” word • The definition of “Unonymous” • Emily gets messed with • How to force a bad nickname on someone.

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Episode 2.05 – Oh Baby!

Topical Vacation — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 02:00:03 +0000

Emily’s massage • Bra-less Ender • The etiquette of massage farting • Terror plot to abort babies via massage • Emily’s back on the mini golf tour • Ender’s embarrassing moments • Peeing during a movie • Emily gets “married dirty” • Surprises for girls • The torture called “Lent” • Snacks at the end of the world • Ender redefines “Forty Days” • The joys of powder drink packets • Bugged til Death Day • Delaying gratification • Kroger sucks at notifications and directions • Lady farts • The science of knowing your own farts • Emily describes the sexes • Emily punks the co-host of Beards and Bullsh*t • Ender’s joke is stolen by Emily.

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Episode 2.04 – Problems

Topical Vacation — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 06:00:58 +0000

Emily dances to the theme • Soup goodness • Maeby watches Rachel Ray • Confusing burners • Emily confuses Home Alone and Raiders of the Lost Ark • Believing childhood stories • How Ender cauterized is finger • Seal sucks • We apparently get racist • Fighting over the Baldwins • Words with Enemies • Enough Facebook app requests • Who is Super Mario’s enemy? • Our favorite Mario games • How we got our games • The joys of Zoop • Poor Man’s Atari • Memories with other people.

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Episode 2.03 – Origami Spacesuit

Topical Vacation — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 06:00:55 +0000

Emily can’t keep rhythm • When sound hits the moon • New drop sounds • Like Mr. Ed • Cartman doesn’t go down • Pretentious 80s artists • Counting to 12 • This one’s for the “Little Folks” • THE SEGWAY: The MACK • The responsibilities of Atomic Fallout • Ender handles the bored • Ender throws down with the other podcasts • It’s Ender’s Birthday! • Having Babies with David Bowie • Podcasting during birth • Italian cars are synonymous with labor breathing • How to tell how far you are in a book • Thick egos • Emily doesn’t eat with the cool people anymore • Monsoons vs Tsunamis • Maeby has many fathers • Biology is a pre-requisite for counting.

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Episode 2.02 – Sneeze Whistle

Topical Vacation — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 00:51:25 +0000

Emily strums the Air Bass ♦ Keeping time ♦ Fighting about marching bands ♦ Letting go of home ♦ Getting back into David Bowie ♦ An Introduction to Angry Birds ♦ THE SEGWAY: Jeff Dunham ♦ This project is a lemon! ♦ An explosion stops the show ♦ Imagine, Jack Lemmon ♦ Emily learns about David Bowie ♦ Eyes without… David Bowie ♦ Whoops… we’re not advertising ♦ London’s calling… for retards ♦ Poor Josh Hutcherson.

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Episode 2.01 – I Didn’t Quite Kill the Pig!

Topical Vacation — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 01:00:11 +0000

Angry Birds: The Future of Terrorism ♦ “See if YOU go to Tuscany!” ♦ When it’s not too soon ♦ Sailing to the NEW WORLD in 1912 ♦ The truth about #EBHEADLINES ♦ Grover sings Titanic ♦ Emily Words ♦ The Good Ship KANGAROO! ♦ Emily drops herself ♦ THE SEGWAY: MACK ♦ Party favor sounds ♦ Alcohol & Company ♦ New Year’s Chinese fortune ♦ Ender DID say “toward it” by the way ♦ The Hunger Games On A Full Stomach ♦ Emily’s unhealthy little boy crush ♦ Ender’s laugh ♦ The Pupil’s Choice Awards and Superlatives ♦ Skatie grabs a bo.

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Episode 1.23 – The Best of 2011

Topical Vacation — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 01:00:54 +0000

Celebrate the first year of Topical Vacation with the BEST OF 2011! We mined all 22 of this year’s episodes and put together what we think is the perfect compilation of what the show is all about! So if you’ve never listened before, this is the time! And stick around for 2012!

Ep 1.01: Potato Chips; Bird Fears ♦ Ep 1.03: Pink Lemonade; Trash Cans; Phil; Girl Scouts ♦ Ep 1.04: A Songly Person ♦ Ep 1.06: Dolly Grip ♦ Ep 1.09: Half Breed; Foot Punch ♦ Ep 1.11: Measuring Pole Climbing ♦ Ep 1.14: How Birds Cause Sore Throats ♦ Ep 1.15: Something’s Gotta Eat These Goats ♦ Ep 1.16: The South Wasn’t Into Gay in The 80s; Give Your Cracker a Piece; Jeremy ♦ Ep 1.18: “Yeah Yeah” ♦ Ep 1.19: Pissed As A Raccoon ♦ Ep 1.20: Getting Hit By Cars ♦ Ep 1.21: Toilet Dog; Emily Messes.

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Episode 1.22 – Food Vs. Fire

Topical Vacation — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 01:00:10 +0000

What Emily said ♦ what leprosy actually is ♦ heart touching ♦ making funny ♦ Tears for Fears does McDonald’s ♦ showing off Skatie ♦ “Ohi-ee-i-ee-oh!” ♦ The Eerie Canal ♦ Buffalo is the new Poland ♦ The Segway: Thanksgiving in Ohio ♦ getting kicked out of a restaurant due to fire ♦ how Emily closed a bar ♦ Christmas wish list ♦ Captain Correction ♦ forgetting what to talk about.

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Episode 1.21 – Dog Poop and Lies

Topical Vacation — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 01:00:15 +0000

Emily ruins the happy mood ♦ Maeby and the toilet ♦ the reality of in continents ♦ curing the poo stress ♦ The Segway – Copyright Infringement ♦ getting taken over by a plane ♦ too soon, John Denver? ♦ finished or furnished ♦ Emily Words returns ♦ weak vacuums ♦ safety-net lies ♦ Shawn Michaels caused it ♦ Ender makes out with the dog ♦ shall we go back in broccoli? ♦ fiance number 2 ♦ Ender’s stress ♦ Third Encounters of The Twisted Kind ♦ Maude and Kumar Go To Golden Palace.

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