Conversation Starters You Can Use to Nail Networking

One of the most common questions I get from clients is, "How do I break the ice without using a cliche statement about the weather?"

While small talk and ice breakers aren't easy, they can be made less painful if you consider this one fact:

There is something interesting in everyone.

When breaking the ice in any social situation, make it your mission to find out what is interesting about the person or people you are talking to. Instead of making some generic statement about the weather, try revealing something about yourself and encourage them to reveal something as well.

Start by making a good opening statement based on an observation you have made either about the party you are at, or the other person you are about to speak to.

Examples:

"I can't take my eyes off your scarf. That color is beautiful... in fact, it's my favorite color! Where did you buy your scarf?"

"Huge turnout at the conference today. I came to here to talk on business development. What brings you here?"

"These appetizers are delicious. I love seafood, how about you?"

Notice in the above examples three parts of each ice breaker: The statement, the disclosure about yourself, the question to gather information about the other person.

Once you get the conversation going, it's important to keep it going by asking a lot of open-ended questions. Questions like:

What led you to the kind of work you do?

What's new in your industry?

What advice would you give someone just starting in your business?

Networking doesn't have to be scary. Simply go into each situation with a clear idea of what you want to accomplish - and what you want to add.

 Source: Power Phrases by Meryl Runion

The post Words to Use to Break the Ice appeared first on Top Lawyer Coach, LLC.

Courtesy: Smartplanet.com

Conferences and other networking events should be a time to shine. A time to mingle and MAKE CONNECTIONS!

But all too often, insecurities and bad habits rear their ugly heads, ruining any chance for people to take advantage of a good networking opportunity.

GET IN THE GAME by learning which types of behaviors to avoid.

Here are four types of people you DON'T want to be at a networking event.

1. The woeful wallflower.

This person generally stands in the far corner of the room, pinned to a wall.  Her handshake is limp, her demeanor is unassuming. This person attends networking events not to meet, but to watch.

Waste of time!

2. The codependent shadow.

These people are "ankle huggers."  They tend to follow the first person they meet. In fact, out of fear, they may shadow that person the entire conference.

Stop! Seize the opportunity to meet many different people and arrange as many follow-ups as you can.

3. The follower.

This person fritters away precious networking time trying to meet the most important people at the event. The problem is, generally the most important people at conferences are the hardest to get to... physically. They are often surrounded by their own entourage.

Keep in mind, if you were able to reach and meet a high profile person at a networking event, that person probably won't remember you. A handshake and a photo mean nothing. Meaningful conversations count!

4. The card collector.

This person passes his cards out to everyone in the room, then gloats over the number of "contacts" he has made. In reality, nothing valuable has been created... other than a long list of phone numbers for future cold calls.

If you're a networking success and manage to arrange a future meeting, then a piece of paper like a business card is irrelevant.

Successful networking takes skill!

Make a point to shed bad behaviors and shy qualities - and seize genuine networking opportunities with confidence and gusto!

The post 4 Networking Habits that Will Give You a BAD NAME! appeared first on Top Lawyer Coach, LLC.

Tactics to Diffuse Anger in the Office

When office politics, disagreements, bad moods get the best of people, angry outbursts are likely to erupt. When we see this happening, our natural reactions are to turn and walk away (resist the anger), or engage the angry party by becoming accusatory or defensive.

Both reactions are not helpful to you or the situation. AVOID phrases like:

"How dare you!"

"That is not true!"

"Be reasonable!"

DO learn how to diffuse the angry situation. LISTEN to the angry person. ASK QUESTIONS to focus them and get more information for yourself. STAND UP TO THEM and try to FIND A SOLUTION.

Put your own emotions and aside, and take a calm, objective to approach to solving the matter peacefully. You could say...

"I didn't know you felt that way. Tell me more."

"What else concerns you?" 

"Your point really resonates with me."

"To really understand your point, I need specific examples."

"I am here to find a resolution. I'm not here to be verbally abused. One more comment like that and I will no longer listen."

"When you speak to me this way, I don't feel inclined to help you."

"Let's fix the problem, not point fingers."

"How do you see us resolving the problem?"

Keep in mind, the angry person may need time to vent their emotions before they are willing to find a solution. Help him or her calm down first before beginning conflict management.

Source: Power Phrases! by Meryl Runion

The post Control Other’s Angry Outbursts. Make Their Anger Melt Away! appeared first on Top Lawyer Coach, LLC.

Recover Gracefully and Move Forward

Here's the thing about calling someone by the wrong name. No insult is ever intended; no one is hurt. Yet people respond dramatically when they are called the wrong name or, worse, their name is mispronounced. How dare you!

Put your embarrassment and public humiliation aside and save face. Here are some perfect words to use to help you recover from this embarrassing situation gracefully.

>> "Sorry, you must remind me of someone with that name."

>> "I'm really bad with names, but I remember your face and our previous conversations."

>>"Thanks! I don't know why I got confused."

When mispronouncing someone's name in public:

>>"Can you say the correct pronunciation again, so I'm sure to get it right next time?"

>>"I had no idea. Thank you for telling me."

>>"How do you say your name? I want to be accurate."

The next time you want to crawl into a hole after calling someone by the wrong name, take a deep breath and remember these super simple phrases. Using them will not only ease the situation, it will show the person respect and courtesy. And that's always a good thing.

Source: Perfect Phrases for Dealing with Difficult Situations at Work - Susan Benjamin

The post Call Someone by the Wrong Name? Here’s How to Save Face! appeared first on Top Lawyer Coach, LLC.

Protect Your Marketing Time by Learning How to Say NO!

Where does your non-billable time go?

Committee work? Administrative tasks? How about to those random requests that fall on your desk?

Think about it. What if you could turn that non-billable time into a strategic way to build your business?

All you need is the word "no."

Saying "no" - tactfully - will help protect your valuable marketing time and build your business.

Here four suggestions on how to say "no."

1. "No, because..."

Be honest and explain why you are saying "no."

For instance: "I'd like to help you on the committee, but I promised myself this year that I would use my non-billable time to focus on my marketing plan."

Offering a legitimate, honest reason will elicit respect among your peers.

2. The partial "no."

Offer an alternative like, "I can't write up that RFP, but I'd be glad to review your draft." You could even recommend someone else for the job, a colleague who has shown an interest in getting involved in business development.

3. The "not now" approach.

Kindly let them know that you are just too busy to take on a new task or project.

Example: "I can't give that speech to the local bar association this year, but please keep me in mind for next year when my schedule may have eased up."

4.  Just plain "no."

Sometimes no explanation is needed.

For instance: "I'm flattered that you asked me to write the practice group description. At the moment, however, I just don't have the time to do it justice."

By saying "no," colleagues will have a clear sense of your priorities and commitment to growing your practice. And, yes, you will still be viewed as a team player.

Make time for business development by learning when and how to say "no."

The post How to Say NO (and Not Tick People Off) appeared first on Top Lawyer Coach, LLC.

Be Straight Forward and Stay Assertive 

We have all had our bouts with passive aggressive people.  You know the kind. Passive aggressors use indirect tactics to needle you and make you downright mad. And then, when you address the issue directly, the passive aggressor denies the problem, acting innocent all the while.

One of the keys to dealing with passive aggressive people is to understand where it comes from. People may be passive aggressive because:

• They don't know how to communicate directly, or they feel unsafe doing so.
• They are oblivious to their actions.
• They can (for the most part) get away with it.

No matter the cause of a person's passive aggressive behavior, you must deal with the issue head-one. Be straight forward by describing the conflict between what they are saying and what you perceive.

Words to use in these situations could be:

"Is something bothering you that we need to address? If there is something we need to resolve, let's do it."

"I'm confused. You say everything is fine, but your tone and actions imply it's not. What's going on?"

That comment sounded sarcastic and condescending to me. Did you mean it that way?"

Do not expect a passive aggressive person to openly admit they were wrong. Chances are they will continue their tactics until they realize they just won't work on you anymore. Stay assertive and over time they will stop.

Source: Power Phrases! by Meryl Runion

The post Power Tactics for Dealing with Passive Aggressive People appeared first on Top Lawyer Coach, LLC.

NOW is the Time to Reach Out!

When was the last time you picked up the phone and called someone with whom you've lost touch?

Chances are it's been months, even years, since you've reconnected with a long lost client or colleague.

Making that first call after a long hiatus isn't easy. As an attorney coach, I tell clients that key is to really think about how to start the conversation.

Here are five TIME-TESTED and EFFECTIVE ways to make reaching out a lot more comfortable.

1. Make the call.

Simply pick up the phone and call the client you've been thinking about.

Say, "I was thinking about you and wondered how you're doing."

It's that easy!

Then, let your client answer. Don't fill the silence!

Nearly everyone who receives this kind of call will be flattered.

Your goal should be to make three calls like this each week. Imagine the networker you'll be!

2. Pass along information.

Look for articles about the company your client works for and pass them along.

You could say, "I saw this article in the newspaper and wondered how you're doing."

You could even search the Internet for information on your client or their company, then pick up the phone after finding something interesting.

3. Make a point to add value.

Think about making an introduction or, perhaps, even a referral.

Ask yourself... "Whom can I introduce my clients to who might be able to help them?" Once you've thought of someone, pick up the phone with the purpose of gauging your client's interest in meeting the person you have in mind.

4. Call before an upcoming talk or industry event.

If you're giving an upcoming talk, make that the pretext for calling dormant clients. Not only can you invite them to your talk, but you can also ask for their ideas on what they'd most like to hear on the topic. You may also suggest to meet for breakfast or lunch on the day of the event.

Even if clients tell you they can not attend, you still have the perfect excuse to reconnect by telephone.

5. Visit clients at work.

In lieu of a phone call, pop in for a visit! Request a tour of your client's operation; really get the lay of the land.

Clients will be flattered that you have taken an interest in their work.

Some rainmakers swear that in-person visits are their best marketing tool.

Take the time to review these points the next time you're uncomfortable about reconnecting with a long lost client.

But always MAKE THE CALL!

You'll likely make their day.

The post Best Ways to RECONNECT with Long Lost Clients appeared first on Top Lawyer Coach, LLC.

Put Your Hurt Aside and Pick Your Words Carefully

In my attorney coaching sessions, clients come to me asking how they should respond to a colleague who was caught criticizing them. It's stunning and hurtful, to say the least - but a situation like that should not be swept under the rug. There are feelings involved. And trust.

The first thing I tell clients in this situation: Put your hurt aside.  Next, I recommend they examine the real reason they want to confront the co-worker who was talking about them. What is the ultimate goal? Is it to...

• Get more information about what the co-worker said?
• Tell the co-worker to stop chatting and criticizing?
• Explain your side of the story?

You don't want to over-react, yet you also don't want to miss an opportunity to glean information about yourself - albeit difficult. Develop a clear strategy of what you want to accomplish, then set out to have the conversation in-person. E-mail is not the venue for this situation as words and tone can easily be misconstrued.

Here was some words and phrases you can use without sounding overly defensive.

"I overheard you and Beth discussing my contribution to the meeting. I want to explain why I took that approach so you are clear about my motivations."

"I understand that you have some reservations about my contribution to the meeting. Can we meet for lunch to discuss this? I'd like to make sure you are clear about my direction."

"Since you and I work together everyday, let's discuss my work style so you have a better sense of what to expect from me and why."

Notice the absence of confrontation. Steer clear of strong language that may create an even greater adversarial relationship. Ideally, you want to give the other person an opportunity to discuss the issue with you and clear up any misconceptions.

Source: Perfect Phrases for Dealing with Difficult Situations at Work - Susan Benjamin

The post You Overhear a Colleague Criticize You. Now What? appeared first on Top Lawyer Coach, LLC.

Words to Use When Acknowledging a Mistake

What a gaffe. You write a report for a client or a department head. The report is filled with clear-cut statements of what needs to happen next to meet upcoming goals, with the outcome based on your expert opinion. Unfortunately your prediction turns out to be dead wrong.

You are embarrassed. You realize it's time to do damage control. But how? What are the best words to use when acknowledging a mistake?

Here are some excellent phrases to use:

• I'm sorry for the inaccuracy in the report.
• Thank you for letting me know about the problem with that report. I am embarrassed about how this could happen.
• I checked the report several times, so I was really embarrassed and SURPRISED by the mistake.
• I apologize for the error(s) in the report. I was diligent about double-checking the information and getting feedback from others.

Notice in the phrases the word "but" is never used. Avoid the "yeah but" routine whenever possible as it reinforces your disagreement with the situation.

Redemption is important after the acknowledgment of a mistake. Offer something to compensate for the error. Provide the client a service at no cost. Demonstrate how you checked your methodology to ensure the mistake won't happen again.

Always correct the mistake whenever possible.

Source: Perfect Phrases for Dealing with Difficult Situations at Work - Susan F. Benjamin

The post Oops! What to Say After You Have Made a Major Gaffe appeared first on Top Lawyer Coach, LLC.

Words to Use to Make Emails More Effective

How many times have you sent an email only to have it ignored? All of those precious minutes (perhaps hours!) you spent composing that email have most definitely gone to waste. Flushed down the proverbial trash.

Perhaps it's time to reframe the way your emails are written. Simple words, short phrases and paragraphs, and specific headers will make emails more effective.

Brief is Better

No matter what you want to express in your email, keep it brief. A short, concise email won't require your recipient to think too much and interpret long sentences. If you are "wordy," you risk the text not being read at all.

Make your messages quick, easy to understand. Tip: Try editing your first email draft down by 50% before you send.

Get Specific

No one has time to wade through paragraphs of text. Get to the point quick by being as specific as possible. Do this in the email header.

Instead of the subject line -  Meeting

Try this instead:

- Department Meeting April 20, attendance is necessary

The subject line is now straight, to-the-point, and lets the recipient know at first glance what the email is about and what action is required.

These tips, of course, are just a few of many ways to make your email communications more effective. Stay tuned...

The post Perfect Tips to Make Sure Your Emails are Read (not Ignored!) appeared first on Top Lawyer Coach, LLC.