Tornado Plumbing

Working for Free – Foil Arms and Hog – Comedy

Alan — Wed, 22 Mar 2017 23:54:50 +0000

Working for Free – Foil Arms and Hog

Foil Arms and Hog are Ireland’s top comedy sketch group.

Called ‘Pure Brilliant’ by Tommy Tiernan, the group have over 10 million hits on YouTube and have sold out five shows at Dublin’s Vicar street.

With regular sketches on RTE, viral comedy hits like ‘How to Speak Dublin’ and over 81,000 YouTube subscribers alone, Foil Arms and Hog have established themselves amongst the new breed of Irish comedy stars.

I really enjoyed this satire sketch – Working for Free. A client bartering for the final services of a plumber. Enjoy

LIVE SHOWS: http://www.foilarmsandhog.ie

TWITTER: http://www.twitter.com/foilarmsandhog

FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/foilarmsandhog

How To Extend Water Heater Life

Alan — Thu, 17 Nov 2016 04:57:13 +0000

How To Extend Water Heater Life

This article will help you to extend the life out of your water heater. Hot water heaters have a lifespan of more than a decade yet you can extend its life by performing simple maintenance on it in a just a few minutes per year.

Test The Pressure-Relief Valve

The first thing to do is to test the pressure-relief valve that is usually located on the side or the top of the water heater. If the pressure inside the tank is too high this valve gets turned on automatically. It should release water as the lever is lifted and if it does not the valve should be replaced. This part can be found at your local hardware store. To replace the valve is quite simple. Turn off the water and then drain the tank. Next, the discharge pipe should be unscrewed and then the same for the old valve. Place sealant tape around the threads of the new valve and screw it in. If the valve is older and leaks it too may need to be replaced.

Next, the cold water supply pipe that feeds the water heater needs to have the shutoff valve closed. Then the hot water from any faucet should be turned on to release the pressure that is inside the water heater’s tank. You should leave the faucet on until you have completed the work. If you have a gas powered heater turn the gas control dial to ‘off’. If it is an electric water heater the power should be turned off at the main panel.

Drain The Water Heater Tank

The next step will be to drain the tank in order to flush out sediments which have settled at the bottom of the tank. This sediment that builds up shortens the life of the unit, reduces its efficiency, and adds to your energy bill. By draining 15-20 liters (2-3 gallons) of water is often enough to flush out the sediment though it is a good idea to allow the water to keep flowing until you are no longer noticing any particles drain into the tub or bucket.

**WARNING – This water will be extremely hot so wear protective gear at all times.

As you are draining the water heater you may notice that it begins making a groaning or gurgling noise but this is nothing to be concerned about. It is simply air which is entering the unit as the water is draining out. Should the drain valve not close completely once you are finished the tank should be drained completely and the old valve should be replaced with a new one. Next, it’s time to restart the hot water heater by opening the shutoff valve and allow hot water to run from any faucet which purges the air from the unit. Followed by relighting the pilot or turning on the system power.

Your hot water heater should be set to about 49 degrees Celcius (120 degrees Fahrenheit). Any temperature higher than this will increase the build up of sediment while increasing the risk of injury due to scalding.

Replace The Anode Rod

An additional measure you can take is to replace the hot water heater anode rod because once the tank begins to leak it can no longer be fixed and will need to be replaced. Prevent this by replacing the anode rod before it is spent and the water tank rusts and begins to leak. Anode rods can also be found at your local hardware store and are relatively inexpensive.

First, if you have a gas powered water heater turn the control valve to the pilot setting. If you have an electric water heater turn off the power. Then shut off the cold water valve and drain approximately 15 liters (2 gallons) of water.

Remove the nut holding the anode which is often found on the top of the unit which may be covered by a plastic cap. Next, remove the rod from the heater by lifting it out of the heater with a 1-1/16 inch socket and breaker bar.

Install the new anode rod by applying a thin coat of pipe-joint compound to the first two threads of the nut and tightening it. If there is no 1-1/16 nut to be found at the top of the water heater, then it is likely integrated into the cold water inlet fitting. If so, the pipe above the heater needs to be cut and the fitting thread out.

Next, restore power to an electric water heater, and on a gas powered heater set the control valve from pilot to the correct temperature. Open the cold water valve once again and replace the 15 liters (2 gallons) of water which were previously drained. Open a hot water faucet in the house to bleed out any air remaining in the system and you’re finished.

These tips in this article will help you get much greater life out of your water heater. Should you need professional assistance do not hesitate to call your local plumber for help!

Sherwood Park Flyer, Special Pricing this month

Alan — Tue, 19 Jul 2016 04:14:16 +0000

This is our first time design & print up a mailbox flyer. It gives our community the opportunity to be aware of a local plumbing company in Sherwood Park. Services from basic plumbing repairs, to the tough elbow grease work.

Renovations are key to opening up the kitchen, laundry room, and or bathroom for the family and or new tenants in one’s home.

In the flyer, we have fabulous special cost price on the 40 us gallon water heaters and 50 us gallon water – atmospheric natural gas water heaters. Save $195.00 supplied and installed.

You can connect with me (Alan) on mobile phone, and or text questions, including images. 780-340-7077

EMail to: tornadoplumbing@gmail.com

or use our contact form

Kenmore Water Heater Repair or New Installation

Alan — Fri, 21 Aug 2015 23:47:59 +0000

Kenmore Water Heater Edmonton | Sherwood Park

If you’re already experiencing problems with your Kenmore water heater – we can help fix it.

Avoid your first icy shower or giant puddle in the basement. If your water heater is in the 7 to 10 year old range, it’s time to seriously consider replacing the water tank.

Get a Free Quote + Save 10%

Are You Considering a Tankless Water Heater?

Alan — Fri, 20 Dec 2013 00:25:25 +0000

Tankless Water Heaters – Edmonton

Sherwood Park

If you are in the market for a new tankless water heater her in Edmonton and area, chances are you have researched and researched. I have decided to write about the “hurdles of considerations” opposed to “just the beneficial factors”.

Considerations you need to review before investing into a Tankless.

1. These units are very sensitive and will only perform with the proper venting installation. For correct installations we need to bring fresh air into the unit for proper combustion, and exhaust products of combustion outdoors. Also be be sure there are no obstacles such as load bearing beam(s), and or ceilings that are impenetrable.

2. Terminations of air intake and exhaust must meet all gas codes ie: specific measured distance from open windows, decks, property lines, gas meter etc.

3. Your existing gas line to your traditional water tank will not meet the flow demand required by these units of 80,000 to 200,000 btuh. A typical tank is 40,000 btuh.

4. After determining the distance and gas load we can install the proper sized gas pipe.

5. Before we do #3, we have to do full gas load and total furthest distance calculation, and be certain that your entire gas line meets the demands of all your gas appliances as per code, and with respects all your appliances are running efficiently.

6. All tankless units build up condensation and is acidic, thus a drain nearby will be required for gravity flow. (Condensate pumps are available).

7. An electrical outlet will be required to power up the unit.

If you’re tired of your bulky and wasteful storage tank water heater and want to install a sleek, streamlined tankless that is more energy efficient, or experienced a water heater blow accompanied by a flood, and want a great return on the resale of your home, call us.

ULTRA HIGH EFFICIENCY ENERGY WATER HEATERS

Alan — Tue, 10 Dec 2013 07:04:46 +0000

WANT TO SHOWER FOR AN HOUR?

The smallest high efficient condensing water heater will give you a dump capacity of as little of 34 US gallons and then produce continually 2 gallons per minute.

HOW ABOUT SHOWERING ALL DAY!

3.07 GPM continuous flow, based on 65°F inlet water temperature, 110°F outlet temperature.
4.31 GPM continuous flow, based on 65°F inlet water temperature, 110°F outlet temperature.

HOW THEY WORK

In several respects, a condensing storage heater is like a conventional model. Both burn gas, have exhaust flues, and store hot water in an insulated tank. But a condensing heater is much more efficient because of how heat is transferred to the water.

In a conventional heater, the fuel is burned in an open chamber, and hot combustion gas rises through a flue in the centre of the tank. A lot of this heat is transferred to the water in the storage tank, but a good portion exits through the vent pipe and is wasted.

In a condensing heater, a draft-inducing fan pushes air and fuel into a sealed combustion chamber inside the tank. As the fuel burns, combustion gas is exhausted through a secondary heat exchanger — a coiled steel tube submerged inside the tank. The combustion chamber and heat exchanger have large surface areas to maximize heat transfer to the water. So much heat is transferred that the combustion gases cool to the point where the water vapor in the exhaust stream condenses, releasing its latent heat, which is also transferred to the stored water. By the time the exhaust gas leaves the heater, it’s cool enough to be safely vented through inexpensive plastic plumbing pipe. The thermal efficiency (TE) of a condensing storage heater is quite high, typically between 90 and 96 percent.

Great for big families and high demand applications. Contractor brands high recovery water heaters are engineered to help lower your energy bills, keep the planet green, and provide exceptional reliability.

POLARIS® HIGH-EFFICIENCY – CONDENSING GAS WATER HEATER PRODUCTS. Up to 96% Efficient

The stainless steel tank with a submerged combustion chamber allows for quiet operation. Available sizes: 34, and 50 US gallons. Natural gas and Propane

Polaris®has a high grade 444 stainless steel tank with brass connections for years of dependable, trouble-free service – no anode
required. A submerged combustion chamber with spiral flue provides up to 96% thermal efficiency and ultra-low standby heat loss of approximately 1%.

The perfect choice for combi systems (potable water in floor heating applications)

Polaris models heat up to 255 GPH at a 90°F temperature rise, compared to 41 GPH for standard gas water heaters.
Technology that blends water heating and residential space heating into a single, super-high efficient water heating system.
The stainless steel tank with a submerged combustion chamber allows for quiet operation.
Boasting super efficiency of 95%, our Polaris® models are ideal for homes with higher water requirements.

A.O. Smith Vertex Water Heaters GDHE-50

Power Direct Vent Gas Water Heaters. 50 US gallon. Input BTU/HR Natural Gas: 100,000

Continuous hot water, shower after shower!* The more hot water you need, the more you need a Vertex water heater. Through an inspired blend of innovation, efficiency and years of industry expertise, A. O. Smith has created a family of state-of-the-art products that provide a long-lasting supply of hot water during those times when everyone in your home needs it most. Vertex power direct-vent gas water heaters take high-demand homes to the pinnacle of hot water availability. Vertex offers up to 96% thermal efficiency with performance that rivals much larger water heaters. With its fully-condensing design, Vertex delivers “continuous hot water” – shower after shower, hour after hour. Yet it’s easy to install, with dimensions and installation requirements comparable to standard power direct-vent units.

Unprecedented levels of performance – 96% thermal efficiency
Continuous hot water means you’ll always get “One More Hot Shower” when properly sized for your home*
An advanced internal heat exchanger with 100,000 BTU input, inspired by A. O. Smith’s time-tested Cyclone commercial design
Easy to install – dimensions similar to a standard 50-gallon power vent water heater
ENERGY STAR® Qualified

*4.31 GPM continuous flow, based on 65ºF inlet water temperature, 110ºF outlet temperature.
Any Questions? Contact US!
Phone or Text: (780) 340-7077

Edmonton Professional hot water heater installation – Little to no Hot Water?

Alan — Tue, 10 Dec 2013 06:37:48 +0000

Edmonton Professional hot water heater installation – Little to no Hot Water?

If your water heater is in the 8 to 12 year old range, it’s time to seriously consider replacing the water tank. Get 20% off compared to our regular water heater install price on not just the AO Smith water heater, but to also include hot water tanks by Bradford White, Rheem, and John Wood.

Get the cost of new water heater from us, your local plumber.

Promotion sale price is on all water heaters including 50 US gallon Water Heaters.

40 US GALLON ATMOSPHERIC GAS WATER HEATER SUPPLIED & EXPERTLY INSTALLED.

Also 50 gal water heater available.

ProLine® and ProLine® Master models are residential water heaters with commercial grade quality
TurbulatorTM dip tube for self-cleaning, reducing sediment at the bottom of the tank and increasing hot water output by as much as 8%
Over 20% more foam insulation provides a higher Energy Factor for energy and cost savings
Piezo electric igniter eliminates need to light with matches
Thermopile design provides robust pilot to withstand down drafts and environmental conditions
Top mounted heavy duty anode rod for added tank protection
The FlameGuard Safety System protects the homeowner by trapping burning vapours within the water heater’s combustion chamber through the exclusive “Flame Trap”
LED indicator: – gives visual confirmation that pilot is on by flashing continuously – provides diagnostics and troubleshooting

When hot water use becomes a balancing act between appliances and family schedules, let us find you a better solution to repair and or replace your existing water heater.

Tired of living with lukewarm water? Kids using all the hot water before you get a chance to shower?

Just waking up about to begin your day only to discover your standing in a puddle of water?

Your thermostat on the water heater is blinking strange error codes and you’re frustrated?

Running out of hot water is never any fun and it can be caused by a few different reasons.

Don’t Leave It To Just Anyone to Repair or Replace. Personally connect with us – Just Ask!

This month SAVE $195.00 on the cost of a new water heater installation

Limited time – weekend water heater installations.

Some tanks simply stop supplying hot water while other hot water heaters burst, creating major leaks, flooding and water damage. Many are hard-pressed to book work off, thus for limited time Tornado Plumbing is offering proactive homeowners, weekend water heater installations. Available by advance bookings only.

Tankless Water Heaters

Flexible installation: Small size allows for installation in non-traditional spaces such as crawl spaces and closets, perfect for use in any size home, including manufactured – modular homes.

Tornado Plumbing is all about a personalized experience – trust with confidence working in your home, workmanship and attention to details including respect to your property.

We are here to solve any situation as every house requires different hot water heater installation methods due to re-circulation lines with pumps, direct vent, power direct vent, twinned water tanks, or combo-floor warming systems.

We only use manufacturers that have proven track records of producing high quality water heaters. Our manufacturers are known to have very low failure rates and no hassle warranty replacements.

We can solve your water heater problem quickly and affordably!

Free evaluation: giving you the correct diagnostic. Call us today or text (images are welcomed) at 780-340-7077

Free Evaluation With Price – Repair – Replacement

~ Sherwood Park

Deb B., Home Owner

We couldn’t be more pleased with the work Alan did in our home. I mad a 911 call to him on a Saturday and he spent all day on Sunday installing our hot water heater. He could have upsold me on a more expensive heater, but did not.

Alan is professional, stuck to his quoted price, and didn’t take any shortcuts.

We are so impressed!! I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend Tornado plumbing for any residential job. Wonderful service, terrific quality, and skilled tradesman. We are happy!

Get In Touch With Us!

You can always count on Tornado Plumbing to get to you fast and get the job done right the first time.

Phone

Our Contact Phone:

780-340-7077

Email

Our Contact Email:

tornadoplumbing@gmail.com

Address

Our Strategic Address:

57 Dawson Drive Sherwood Park AB

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… Not only a local business, but we’re located closer than you may think.

Our Proven Process Produces Results

Happiness from clients after completion of a plumbing project that is most rewarding.

We will protect you with proper venting requirements, and a safe gas connection.

Water heater buying decisions usually need to be made without delay, yet review carefully and consider the following

Serving: Edmonton, Sherwood Park, Fort Saskatchewan, Beaumont, Leduc, St. Albert, Spruce Grove, and Stony Plain AB with no extra mileage and labor charge!
We install, service and repair all water heaters.
Worry Free knowing that Tornado Plumbing & and our contractor water heater brands is committed to standing behind each product manufactured and installed with a competitive tank and parts warranty.
When you replace your water heater, you need reliable service and a trusted brand name. With Tornado Plumbing you get both. You get a Journeyman Plumber / Gasfitter (insured & bonded) compared to a “Services professionals’ technician – authorized and insured” (aka: apprentice). We expertly remove the old and replace it with any of the three leading brands on the market water heater market including: John Wood, Bradford White, and AO Smith.
Did You Know:The term of apprenticeship for a Plumber & Gasfitter is 4 years (four 12-month periods) including a minimum of 1500 hours of on-the-job training and 8 weeks of technical training each year.

WATER HEATER NO LONGER PRODUCING ENOUGH HOT WATER? March Madness Sale Edmonton

Alan — Tue, 10 Dec 2013 06:08:07 +0000

WATER HEATER NO LONGER PRODUCING ENOUGH HOT WATER?

Avoid your first icy shower or giant puddle in the basement. If your water heater is in the 8 to 12 year old range, it’s time to seriously consider replacing the water tank. We are offering a huge sale for 20% less than any other month of the year in Edmonton. March Madness is here.

Water Tank Sale – Offer is a time sensitive promotion and won’t last long. Talk to us first – no obligations.

Promotion is on all water heaters including 50 US gallon Water Heaters.

Serving: Edmonton, Sherwood Park, Fort Saskatchewan, Beaumont, Leduc, St. Albert, Spruce Grove, and Stony Plain AB with no extra mileage and labor charge!
We install, service and repair all water heaters and John Wood Water Heaters also known as GSW water tanks!
Worry Free knowing that Tornado Plumbing & and our contractor water heater brands is committed to standing behind each product manufactured and installed with a competitive tank and parts warranty.
When you replace your water heater, you need reliable service and a trusted brand name. With Tornado Plumbing you get both. You get a Journeyman Plumber / Gasfitter (insured & bonded) compared to a “Services professionals’ technician – authorized and insured” (aka: apprentice). We expertly remove the old and replace it with a John Wood unit.

EDMONTON WATER HEATER INSTALLED SALE ENDS MARCH 31, 2013

Water heater buying decisions usually need to be made without delay.

We offer quick, efficient replacement and repairs for all types of water heaters.

Water heaters often break down at the most unfavorable time and there is little time to comparison shop. With no hot water, or a leaking water tank creates a distressed situation, Tornado Plumbing offers a free evaluation; giving you the correct diagnostic. If required you need a new water heater respecting hot water demands vary from family to family (business to business), we will deliver and install a system that best meets the needs of your business, life style and budget.

40 US GALLON ATMOSPHERIC GAS WATER HEATER SUPPLIED & PROFESSIONALLY INSTALLED: $995.00 plus gst

Image below: not exactly as shown

GAS WATER HEATERS. Sizes range from 19 US gallon to 75 US gallon

Tornado Plumbing of Edmonton Installs John Wood® water heaters. We offer a complete line of residential atmospheric vent natural gas and propane water heaters that feature the Flame Guard® Safety System. These heaters offer an upgraded gas valve that provides ease of diagnostics combined with a robust thermopile design providing you the customer piece of mind for the harshest environmental conditions.

TurbulatorTM dip tube for self-cleaning, reducing sediment at the bottom of the tank and increasing hot water output by as much as 8%
Over 20% more foam insulation provides a higher Energy Factor for energy and cost savings
Piezo electric ignitor eliminates need to light with matches
Thermopile design provides robust pilot to withstand down drafts and environmental conditions
LED indicator: – gives visual confirmation that pilot is on by flashing continuously – provides diagnostics and troubleshooting
Top mounted heavy duty anode rod for added tank protection
The FlameGuard Safety System protects the homeowner by trapping burning vapours within the water heater’s combustion chamber through the exclusive “Flame Trap”
Piezo electric ignitor eliminates need to light with matches
Also available in propane.
WARRANTY 1 Year all inclusive – 6 Year Limited Tank Warranty

Noritz Model NRC1111 Series (DV) Max. 199,900 Btuh – Min. 11,000 Btuh

Residential Condensing Tankless Water Heater

Noritz is proud to introduce our most efficient tankless heaters, the next generation in tankless technology – condensing heaters. This innovation utilizes a dual heat exchanger, a fusion of stainless steel and copper heat exchangers

Fully modulating – Modulating dual burner design precisely tracks hot water needs by providing an accurate and efficient response to hot water demands
Automatic air regulator – Monitors internal temperature/maximizes burner efficiency
Heat Exchanger- manufactured with commercial grade copper, 25% thicker piping than standard models
Thermal Efficiency- fully condensing, 93% efficient for use with natural gas or propane
Temperature Controls- includes remote thermostat that can precisely adjust the output temperature from 100°F to 140°F with the capability to display temperatures in both °C and °F
Self-diagnostic – onboard computer system, combined with the included digital remote, provides ease of maintenance and temperature adjustment
Safety Features- Flame Sensor, Overheat Prevention Device, Lightning Protection Device, Freeze Protection, Condensate Overfill
Additional Features- Temperature Lockout, High Elevation Adjustment, Condensate Overflow Monitoring System, Service Reminder Function
12-year* warranty – Longer coverage than competition, 12 years on heat exchanger, 5 years on parts, 1 year labor (*Inquire about the details

Tornado Plumbing will match that quote providing they are of equal service.Get this supplied, installed, plus we will take the old one water heater away Free Quote
Phone: (780) 340-7077

POLARIS® HIGH-EFFICIENCY – CONDENSING GAS WATER HEATER PRODUCTS. Up to 96% Efficient

The stainless steel tank with a submerged combustion chamber allows for quiet operation. Available sizes: 40, 50, and 60 US gallons. Natural gas and Propane

The Power Direct Vent is designed with a sealed combustion chamber, ultra quiet blower and state-of-the-art gas control for highly accurate temperature control. The Flammable Vapour Ignition Resistant (FVIR) design prevents flammable vapours from entering and igniting. All combustion air is brought in from outside – rather than heated air from indoors.

FVIR design with a sealed combustion chamber prevents flammable vapours from entering and igniting
State-of-the-art gas control features advanced self-diagnostic capability that makes troubleshooting easy
Convenient 3/4” side water connections for combination applications on 62,000 BTU units
Flammable vapour sensor detects the presence of flammable vapours and automatically disables the unit, preventing ignition
Robust air intake snorkel inhibits flammable vapours from entering the sealed combustion chamber
Compact design – ideal as a replacement water heater and for closet installations
WARRANTY 1 Year Parts Warranty- 10 Year Limited Tank Warranty

John Wood® Power Vent water heaters are engineered for increased efficiency and deliver dependable, trouble-free operation. The John Wood® Power Vent water heater design includes an advanced gas control with self-diagnostic capabilities for quick and easy servicing.

The Magical Mildew Tour: My Ugly Bathroom

Alan — Mon, 09 Dec 2013 20:20:48 +0000

About Delightfully Dysfunctional

A random repository of pop culture and personal musings, Delightfully Dysfunctional is here for your entertainment. If bottom-feeding attempts at intellectualism and crude humor are your thing, you’ll feel right at home!

The Magical Mildew Tour: My Ugly Bathroom

Let’s not sugar coat this or dick around with a flurry of pretty words: I have the world’s worst bathroom. Period.

While I love every other room of my awesome, spacious, two-bedroom apartment; there are few, if any, good qualities about its bathroom. It’s relatively small. It’s hot. It’s poorly conceived. In short, my bathroom is ugly and it sucks.

The only redeeming factor about my bathroom is that it provides me with prime blogging fodder, particularly since my bathroom’s abundance of negative qualities are exacerbated in the summer time. Considering that I live in an apartment, there isn’t much I can do about it.

For now, indulge me in my catharsis and allow me to take you on a guided tour of my awful bathroom. Think of it as MTV’s Cribs for the not-rich and not-famous. Unlike most of those profiled on Cribs, I won’t be pulling a bottle of Cristal from a small fridge behind my toilet. The best you might be able to hope for is a swig of Boone’s Farm, or a few bottles of Malibu swiped from a hotel mini bar that I stashed in my makeup bag under the sink. If you’re good, I’ll let you have a full one to yourself. Come on! It’ll be fun!

A Frustrating Foundation

A wise man once said to begin at the beginning — the very foundation of things. I have no idea who that wise man was, but he was a damn sight more intelligent than whoever designed my bathroom. On the other hand, my bathroom could have been designed by a genius if that genius happened to be the Marquis de Sade.

The floor and the lower half of my bathroom’s walls are covered in tile. This is good. Tile is good.

The remaining half of my bathroom’s walls and ceiling are done in plaster. This is bad.

Well. At least it’s not flocked.

The portion of the walls formed by said plaster are covered in wallpaper. The ceiling remains uncovered. This is REALLY bad.

And I’m not even getting into the unspeakably horrible aesthetics of the wallpaper just yet, either. All I can say is at least it’s not flocked. Regardless, the ancient wallpaper covering the plaster walls (which is so old it probably has the Egyptian Book of the Dead printed on the back of it) has been applied in portions, rather than one smooth sheet.

Apparently, some Mensa candidate thought that while finished dry wall works for every other room in the house, plaster would be a terrific idea for the bathroom. They probably thought that it might be fun for the person inside the bathroom to experience portions of the ceiling randomly flaking off and dropping onto the bathroom tile or between a person’s legs as they stand up to wipe. This may or may not have been the same genius who thought it would be a good idea to wallpaper a bathroom — a room explicitly stated in its very name to be devoted to usage of water and generation of condensation.

Skylight, Shit Tight / First Turd That I Squeeze Tonight

Perhaps the bathroom’s most sadistic feature, however, is the skylight. The skylight is non-functioning and sealed from both the outside and inside. It does not open. It doesn’t make a big difference in terms of natural light in the bathroom, either. The skylight, in its plaster nest, is surrounded by a bunch of cracks that makes me worry that one of these days, the glass will come crashing down on the floor while I’m pinching a loaf.

So what does this skylight do, you ask (beyond adding an element of fear and suspense to the bathroom experience)? In the summer, it makes the bathroom unbearably hot. The 15 minutes it takes to squeeze one out is all but intolerable as the heat in that small 5′x5′ room makes you feel as if you’re being interrogated at police headquarters for ingesting too much fiber.

Due to my boyfriend’s daily intake of prune juice (“because a clean colon is a happy colon”) and my own fiber-rich diet, we both spend about 15 minutes at a clip in the john.

To combat the problems posed by the skylight in the summertime, my boyfriend and I have come up with a solution: When the time comes to “go,” we put a floor fan in the crapper. It’s not very high tech, but we snake an extension cord underneath the bathroom door and have a two-foot high electric fan sitting on the floor going full blast while each of us do our bathroom business. It takes some getting used to the sensation of a stiff wind aimed directly at your crotch, but it beats the alternative of dropping dead from heat exhaustion and dying on the toilet a la Elvis. Now for a real First World Problem: While there’s room for a floor fan, sadly, there isn’t room for a magazine rack. Most of our reading material is piled high on top of the toilet tank. I’m a firm believer in having something to read while you’re releasing chocolate hostages.

My bathroom’s most sadistic feature: The non-functioning skylight set precariously in plaster. Note the rolled edges of the wallpaper. Smashing!!

Look at the Crap-manship!

It’s not just the foundation of the bathroom that is suspect, it’s the fixtures in it, as well.

I’ve glued the door on this beast back together at least three times in eight years. What crap-smanship!

Several years ago, two “plumbers” came in to replace the sink. They started at 10am and ended up leaving shortly before 8pm. Not only did they take a two-hour lunch break and no less than five smoke breaks a piece, but one of these “plumbers” said he had to leave immediately to get his “medicine” from a place that closes at 3pm or else he would get “very sick.” I don’t know too many pharmacies that close at 3pm on a weekday, so my guess was that Captain Shakes had to stop by the local methadone clinic before he finished installing the sink.

Suffice to say, the sink that they replaced the old one with wasn’t exactly the finest quality. They probably took the money our landlady had given them, picked up the cheapest one they could find at Home Depot and spent what was left over on tacos, meth, and a carton of Marlboros.

In the barely eight years we’ve had this sink, the particle board door that shields the pipes from view and serves as a mini toiletry closet beneath the sink has fallen apart several times. There’s nothing like opening the door to grab some Q-Tips only to have everything but the hinges fall off in your hand. I’ve jigsawed it back together on each occasion using Super Glue and you would never know that the piece of shit has disintegrated at least three times in eight years.

It’s not just the door on the sink that’s shoddy. Oh, no! The “Hot” and “Cold” markers on top of each of the water levers popped out of the handles. Even better, the drain stopper that prevents small items (like one of the “Hot” and “Cold” markers that popped out or the toothpaste tube cap) from spiraling down the drain broke off. I had to jam the top part of the stopper in the sink to act as some sort of a barrier against any small items irretrievably finding their way down the drain. It no longer moves up or down. It just stays stationary. Awesome. For a sink that is less than eight years old, this shouldn’t happen.

About 7 years ago, the toilet was replaced. Having learned her lesson, the landlady hired a professional to come in and do the job instead of the freaks that someone had recommended to install the sink.

The Magical Mildew Tour / You Cannot Scrub It Away

Fuck you, mildew! I give up. You just come back a day later anyway.

Then there’s the shower itself. Technically, it’s a shower/bath. However, it’s impossible to use the tub to take a bath because the stopper lever on the wall of the tub that plugs the drain keeps pulling away from the wall. If you try to take a bath, a lot of the water seeps into that hole and only allows half the water to remain in the tub, covering you at mid-chest level instead of up to your neck. Several rounds of caulk still weren’t able to remedy the situation so bubble baths are off the menu. It’s strictly a shower-only bathroom.

Not only is the tub resistant to caulking, but the shower tiles seem to be immune to a thorough cleansing, as well. Despite unleashing an entire battalion of Scrubbing Bubbles that would have made the 300 Spartan warriors proud, even their most valiant efforts only kept mildew at bay for a day or so. Even after applying some cosmetic grout to the tiles, it was less than a week before the brown mildew stains came back. In our bathroom’s defense, I hear this “phantom mildew” is pretty common among DIY grouting.

Nevertheless, I’d bet that even if you completely removed and re-grouted the bathroom tile, that shit would probably come back like some weird, creeping death out of a Night Gallery episode by the end of the week.

After my boyfriend and I tried re-grouting twice, finally, we said “fuck it” and gave up on prettying up the bathroom.

Make It Work: Disastrous Decor

As if the functionality of the bathroom wasn’t bad enough, the pre-existing decor and color scheme provided us with limited options. Remember when I said that the plaster walls were covered with wallpaper? I neglected to mention just how hideous this wallpaper happens to be. Fortunately, the brown mildew stains in the tile grout go nicely with the strange shade of salmon-y pink tile on the walls, offset by a border made of maroon tiles.

Mr. Furley’s reaction to my bathroom’s wallpaper… And then he realized he was wearing it.

Nothing, however, goes with the wallpaper. The untiled portion of the walls are festooned with a psychadelic version of bright orange, yellow, pink, and blue ditsy floral print. It looks like someone raided Mr. Furley’s closet (the loveable landlord on Three’s Company portrayed by Don Knotts) and plastered a collection of his shirts on the wall. I’m surprised my bathroom didn’t come with a neckerchief and some gold-plated medallions to hang from the walls.

When your bathroom is just that fugly to begin with, it’s hard to make it any uglier. That’s why I decided to go balls-out tacky with the decor. Picking up the blue in the floral wallpaper, I decided to get a dark blue aquarium-themed shower curtain. I also picked up a dark blue bath mat and toilet mat. (The excess heat from the skylight all but destroyed the rubberized backing on the dark blue bath mat, making it stick to the floor. They’ve been subsequently replaced with mats in a less heat-attracting shade of powder blue.) I figured blue would be the best option for the shower curtain and area rugs because any more weird salmon/pink hues– especially with the maroon border — would make the bathroom look like a giant vagina. I don’t want to confuse the “shower curtain” with a set of “beef curtains.” And I certainly wouldn’t want to be reminded of my annual pap smear while I’m on the commode, pondering just how like my gyno’s speculum that bathroom skylight is. No thanks!)

I wish it played “Islands In the Stream” when you lift the lid.

Upon my boyfriend’s insistence and to ward off the dreaded “Red Ring” from sitting on the pot for too long, we’ve gone through several padded toilet seats through the years. We used to have a toilet seat whose printed cover matched the dark blue-and-orange aquatic theme of the shower curtain. When that seat got a rip in it, it was replaced with perhaps the kitschiest toilet seat cover I have yet to find. In glaring opposition to the rest of the bathroom decor sits a pale green toilet seat cover with a bright green, brown, and orange palm tree stitched on it.

That’s right. STITCHED.

The only possible way this toilet seat cover could be any better is if when you lifted the lid, it played “Islands In the Stream” by Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton. (Seriously. That would be pretty damn awesome.) One of the few things I like about my bathroom is this toilet seat.

That about concludes the tour of my bathroom. Nothing exciting, but hopefully, it makes you feel better about your own indoor outhouse. And if it doesn’t, I dare you to step forward with how awful your own bathroom is so I can feel better about mine!

Delightfully Dysfunctional

Edmonton: Leaking water heater – No Hot Water – Water Heater Failure

Alan — Mon, 09 Dec 2013 20:05:44 +0000

Written by: Water Heaters Only

Signs of water heater failure

What signs can alert you before water heater failure

Most often homeowners aren’t aware that a water heater failure is about to happen. Have you come home to water running from under the garage or a soppy carpet? While you can’t be for sure when your water heater failure will occur, there are signs that you can keep an eye out for.

One of the most important things is to know the age of your water heater. You can find the age of your water heater by looking at the manufacturer sticker on the upper portion of the water heater. It will have the brand name and many different numbers and small symbols. Try to find the serial number or manufacturer date.

This date will not be exactly when your water heater was installed, but it will tell you how old the tank is. The serial number will have a date code for example “F051052638″. F is for the month – F is the sixth letter so it represents the sixth month, June. Next the first two digits of the serial number are 05, this represents the year, 2005. A water heater with the serial number F05052638 was made in June 2005.

“Code date” for their product, some are easier than others to figure out, if you can not figure out the age of your water check the manufacturers website for the way to crack their “code”. Once you know the when you water heater was manufactured you can keep track of how old it. As a rule of thumb most water heaters over 10-12 years old have lived a useful life can be replaced. If your water heater is in a location that WILL NOT cause damage if leakage occurs, you can wait until it develops a leak before replacing it. However, if your water heater is in a location that WILL cause damage to your home, replace it after 10 years or before if any of the following symptoms occur.

Find more on how to date when your water heater was manufactured HERE

Rusty Water

Rusty water that comes from only the hot side piping in your home can be a sign that your water heater is rusting away from the inside out and will begin to leak in the near future. If you have galvanized piping you may also have rusty pipes. A good test to ensure you are not replacing a functioning water heater, is to drain the few five gallon buckets of hot water out of the water heater. If by the third bucket the water from your water heater is still coming out rusty then most likely it is not the hot water piping, but the water heater. This is a sign that your water heater needs to be replaced.

Rumbling and Noise

As a water heater ages sediment will build up on the bottom of the tank. Overtime the sediment is heated and reheated and as more sediment accumulates it hardens. When this happens you can often hear rumbling or banging sounds coming from the water heater when it is heating up. This is a sign that the water heater it at the end of it’s useful life. First the water heater will have to use more energy (gas or electricity) to heat the water and will be less efficient. Second the extra time spent heating the water will cause more wear on the metal tank and lead to more brittle metal that can crack and develop tiny holes quicker. If you start to heard rumbling from your water heater, keep an eye out for any small leaks, then replace your water heater.

Moisture Around Water Heater

If you notice moisture around your water, you may have a small leak or a fracture in the tank that releases water when the water heater is heating up. As the metal heats it expands, if there are slight fractures sometimes water will leak from the tank. Once the metal has cooled the inner tank will stop leaking. Make sure there are no other leaks coming from the water heater. Check the fittings and connections to the tank. Also make sure the t/p temperature / pressure overflow pipe is not leaking and causing the moisture. If everything all other connections and fittings are dry and the water heater is an older model, it may be time to replace the water heater. You can always look inside the bottom of the water heater and try to see if the inner tank is dripping. It is not always easy to see inside the bottom of the tank, but it’s worth a try before replacing the tank.

If you are concerned about water heater failure or any of the signs above you can text or call and speak with a water heater expert 780-340-7077

Tornado Plumbing

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Working for Free – Foil Arms and Hog

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How To Extend Water Heater Life

Test The Pressure-Relief Valve

Drain The Water Heater Tank

Replace The Anode Rod

Sherwood Park Flyer, Special Pricing this month

Kenmore Water Heater Repair or New Installation

Kenmore Water Heater Edmonton | Sherwood Park

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A.O. Smith Vertex Water Heaters GDHE-50

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Edmonton Professional hot water heater installation – Little to no Hot Water?

Edmonton Professional hot water heater installation – Little to no Hot Water?

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Get the cost of new water heater from us, your local plumber.

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We will protect you with proper venting requirements, and a safe gas connection.

Water heater buying decisions usually need to be made without delay, yet review carefully and consider the following

WATER HEATER NO LONGER PRODUCING ENOUGH HOT WATER? March Madness Sale Edmonton

WATER HEATER NO LONGER PRODUCING ENOUGH HOT WATER?

Water Tank Sale – Offer is a time sensitive promotion and won’t last long. Talk to us first – no obligations.

Promotion is on all water heaters including 50 US gallon Water Heaters.

EDMONTON WATER HEATER INSTALLED SALE ENDS MARCH 31, 2013

Water heater buying decisions usually need to be made without delay.

We offer quick, efficient replacement and repairs for all types of water heaters.

40 US GALLON ATMOSPHERIC GAS WATER HEATER SUPPLIED & PROFESSIONALLY INSTALLED: $995.00 plus gst

GAS WATER HEATERS. Sizes range from 19 US gallon to 75 US gallon

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The Magical Mildew Tour: My Ugly Bathroom

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Skylight, Shit Tight / First Turd That I Squeeze Tonight

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Make It Work: Disastrous Decor

Edmonton: Leaking water heater – No Hot Water – Water Heater Failure