So, no joke, the word ‘single’ just makes zero sense to me. When I try to hold it in my mind, it feels like marbles rolling all over a tile floor. How indeed CAN you be single when the Divine is your constant companion and might even be writing this very post?

(Unless perhaps you mean 'cosmically single' since All is One and there can never actually even BE an Other in truth?)

Anyway, I’ve often mused the right partner of whatever gender would want to be in some kind of crazy ménage a trois with God... And if that was needed, the Divine would sure be smart enough to know exactly how and when to bring it.

But no matter. Because otherwise I’m spending today like every other, good or bad, inspiring or terrible, with that compassionate and ferocious Beloved One.

A human partner a most lovely idea but highly, highly optional:)

So I smiled and handed him back the bagel still warm in its paper bag. I made a small bow. "Wow, Thank you for helping me!" I meant it. He looked at me like I truly was now insane.

And finally, thank heavens, I am done.
Out of Bagel Prison.
The Divine answers prayers in the most creative ways if invited.

So….I can’t help asking. What do You want to be freed from?
It might just be one desperate prayer away.

So I was just on Highway 880 heading past Oakland when I somehow got stuck behind a stalled car. The guy was on his cell and there I was, trapped behind him, with mega-traffic to both sides. Even with my signal on and my arm out, NO ONE was gonna let me go. For about the next 10 minutes I sat there in the rumbling din of traffic, amazed.

But finally (yes, I occasionally forget too) I began to just pray my buns off... "Please, please, PLEASE send a kind soul who will let me the heck out!"

Twenty seconds later, a trucker slowed down, flashed his lights and beckoned.

I drove away thinking, holy jeez, what a metaphor. I REALLY couldn't get out without the help, and ALL I had to do was ask. I thought about how shifts come at the right time when we pray to receive them.

Ironically, THIS post I'd written in 2013 arrived as soon as i got home. Take if you need:))

"If the universe wants you do to something, never, EVER worry. It will either give you the ability to do it or it will send the right help if you are open. Allow me Divine Beloved to always let the right assistance come. I welcome your help in every way and take absolute delight in receiving it."

I am Yours.
You are Mine.
We are One.
All is well.

At the time, I was busy being a full-time lunatic who was so not ready for her.  I took a semester but just couldn’t calm down to do what she said.  She always spoke about eating cleanly, drinking enough water, breathing, and practicing the poses that "twisted out the body like a dirty towel.”  She’d often say we couldn’t just take showers, we had to be wrung from the inside out.

One day she smiled and said, “Just imagine if you lived a life never wringing out your inner organs or that towel.  All that junk would just stay inside!”  I remember literally shuddering, then going straight back to my usual life of tequila, nachos, and caffeine.

Well, twenty years went by.  Suddenly I was forty and not feeling so hot, though I‘d been exercising one way or another forever.  I kept remembering Gloria.

An inner alarm clock went off.  It was Time.  I found a vinyasa yoga class and never looked back.  It never really took any discipline; I was Just Ready.  My whole soul and body were on fire for this.  I’ve had a yoga practice almost every day since.  Gloria's words had finally hatched. 

So you never know when a seed is getting planted inside. You may not be ready to act on it yet, but never underestimate what will happen when you ARE.  Often I get letters from folks who say they got my books as gifts... and threw them straight in the closet.  Zero interest.  Suddenly, months or years later, the book is yanked out and devoured in one wild, impassioned night.

The soul is READY.

You simply never know when that inner seed will pop open… and magnificently bloom.

Last year, I spied a wooden clothing trunk online at Cost Plus. It was super adorable, very Rajasthani Indian, and came in red or brown. I ordered the red to go with my bedroom rug. A few days later it arrived but they had 'accidentally' sent the brown. I shlepped the trunk back to Cost Plus to exchange it. They apologized and gave me a new one in a sealed box marked RED in big letters.

When I got home and opened it up...yep, brown again.

Ok, by then I did have a wild flare-up of "omfg, are You kidding?" but in the back of my mind was also, "Dear God, I wonder what you're trying to tell me?" To be honest, I couldn't see it because the brown really WAS too dark for the bedroom.

So I returned it yet again.

The third time they got it 'right.' And while it was ok in the bedroom I'd occasionally laugh and think, "Wow, I don't love it, was it worth all that trouble?"

But here's the deal..

Six months later, like many of you, I'm massively cleaning out and reorganizing my place in this eclipse cycle. And suddenly I see, as if TOTAL blinders were over my eyes, that the trunk makes the Divinely perfect coffee table in my living room! I could finally ditch the monstrosity which has been there forever.

So It was actually never meant for the bedroom at all. I simply couldn't see the Plan six months back.

However there's only one catch...

This afternoon I have to paint it brown.

For years I've been going to a certain cafe most days to get my matcha. And there's this guy, maybe mid-twenties, who I've always noticed cuz it's just inspiring...he's in the middle of what is always the early morning shitstorm of orders and demands with total equipoise, graciousness and cool. Friday I watched as a woman screamed at him for a full minute when he gave her soy instead of skim milk, and he responded with total kindness and love the whole way. Yesterday someone else went at him (under these harsh transits) and once again, total love.

Finally today I said, "Mark, what is UP with you? How do you do this? It's hard being a barista, a friend of mine quit after three days. You've done it for years."

He laughed. "Four years ago I figured it out. You can control almost NOTHING but your reaction. Almost nothing. So I decided to become a master of reaction. Then each day is a way to practice more. The craziest people give you the biggest workout."

"I love that," I said. "And you know, you have!"

Take if you need under all those Saturn squares that are finishing anyway, but just in case!

'Change me Divine into One who can move with the Flow and respond with the greatest clarity, grace and peace. I am Yours. You are Mine. We are One. All is Well."

I swear, sometimes situations come that feel so wrong just so that we have a chance to learn to say, "That's so not what I need right now." I personally had to learn how to say No over and over to say Yes to what felt right.

Years ago I was quite a people-pleaser (with Libra Rising); It was hard at first. I didn't grow up knowing No was ok. The Divine had to keep sending absolutely crazy stuff and outrageous demands to teach me to say no. It's true. She had to build up that muscle in me and show me how. And oh my God, I learned! You can too!

Allow me Divine Beloved to honor my energy and time. Let me easily set healthy boundaries wherever they're needed. Let me say No where I need so I'm free to say Yes where it's Your Will.

I am Yours. You are Mine. We are One. All is well.

So, what do you need to say No to? The Inner Divine may be whispering it in your ear right now.

So, back in February I was feeling this ancient pain triggered by someone. I had no illusions it was actually about her, but rather a wound that had never fully healed. Despite a lifetime of spiritual practice, I still had often (quite covertly) projected my own disowned Mars onto an Other, then suffered greatly.

But this time was different. After I saw her, I walked the night streets of San Francisco, crying long, hard sobs like a baby. I prayed to the Divine from the depths of my Being to make me whole. I HAD to re-own this projection once and for all. The transits were saying, "No More."

Suddenly at the next corner came the craziest thing. About thirty women, all in golden crowns, were crossing Market Street. No, I wasn't hallucinating, maybe they were heading to some trippy bridesmaid's party. And there I was, utterly surrounded, crying and laughing in the midst of it, as they passed by.

Expand my ability to receive You Oh Divine, may I open to receive all your blessings and goodness. Expand my capacity for love, pleasure, joy and happiness. May I know my own true worthiness in every way. May I know my true Self.

I am Yours, You are Mine, we are One. All is well.

I think by now you're starting to notice the messages that come over and over to you. A teacher of mine used to say, hey, if it KEEPS coming, don't make god work so hard.

So here's the message I've been getting all this week: Why NOT you? First in a yoga class as the intro talk. I bristled at first as I thought he was saying it in a manifesting way, like "You can have whatever the ego wants, why not?"

But actually he wasn't. He was just saying, "You never know the amazing plan the Divine may have in store. Why limit it? Why not just be open? Why NOT you?" So he got my attention.

The next day, back in the car, turn on radio. An ad for some weird spaghetti sauce that ends, "Everyone is trying our sauce. Why. NOT. You?"

Two days later, back on the radio and that TV gal Mindy (from the Mindy Project) is hawking her book...and it is called, honest to god, yep, "Why NOT You?"

Ok God I get it. So just be open. Something you NEVER expected in a zillion years could be in god's plan.

Why limit it? Just be open. Why NOT you?

Anyway, I got off the train at Penn Station and just stepped into that familiar, wild, madhouse blur that you never really forget. And right in the middle of everything, in their leotards and all, Superman and Wonder Woman were making out. Yep, they were. Just like this might be vaguely normal. With everyone, of course, completely ignoring them.

(Now THAT's what I'm talking about havin an equal:)). Found out later Comic-con was going on.)

Then came my first 'welcome to NYC' convo of the day. I was headed down 14th Street and a guy walks up. "Lady!! I like dat shirt! Gimme dat shirt, I wanna buy it for my girl! Take it off! How much you want?"

I look down to remember what it is: a silk turquoise tunic from India sprinkled with sequins, a favorite.

"Um, no...Man, I'm WEARING this!" I start laughing. "I'm not gonna take it off and sell it! Am I supposed to walk around in a freakin bra? Anyway, I like it too."

"Nah, I'm SERIOUS, I wanna buy it! How much?"

And he pulls out a huge wad of bills and starts waving them at my nose. "Serious, dude, serious. She'd loove it!" I'm just laughing harder and walk away..

I think happily, "Omg, you know what? It can honestly NEVER change here. I'm sure that's actually karmically impossible."

So glad to be coming back.

8/19, 7 pm, Book Signing: Barnes & Noble Upper West Side

8/20, 6-10 pm, Intensive Class: Know Your Divine Worth. Register at toshasilver.com/product/divine-worth-ny/

Well, this past Friday was important (not only because of Marriage Equality) but cuz Mercury returned to the degree where it was BEFORE that crazy retro started in May. A 'Return of Motion' day.

And as I walked down Market Street, suddenly this lady started laughing and yelling out of nowhere. "Hey, you! Yes, You! YOU'RE the one who broke my mirror!!" Couldn't believe she found me again.

Because she did, I was able to easily replace the lost earring with no effort. Sometimes something you 'lost' under the retrograde replaces itself or returns with no effort at all.

A sidenote. Back when the original was lost and I posted on fB, someone wrote me who had a similar one. She kindly offered to send it as part of a proposed very complicated 'trade'. I thanked her but said if I was meant to have the earring's mate, the Divine would take care of it Herself without my jumping through a lot of hoops. I think there's a funny metaphor in all of that for almost anyone...far beyond cute, funky jewelry.

(And I honestly believe the true key to all of this is remembering Who it All actually belongs to in the first place. Offer, offer, offer, detach, and you may be very surprised by the outcome. About almost anything.)

Take if you need!

Hope you enjoy!

And all I can say is, OMFG what a nightmare THAT would be!

No, I'm no guru, I'm no savior, nada. I'm a writer, a highly imperfect Being, and all you'd have to do is spend 5 minutes with my wacky, flawed self to know that. I simply fell in love with the Divine in my own heart, and anyone deeply motivated can do that. To me, EVERYONE is a god or goddess. Most of us just forget.

So somehow a few years ago, I figured out some stuff and felt guided to share it. After thirty years of giving readings I saw most people chased the answers on the outside; I wanted to focus the lens within, to where Love runs through your own veins. And I wrote a book or two (with more coming) to help folks do that.

I always liked a poem by the wonderful playwright Ntozake Shange. Maybe you know it. "I found God in Myself and I loved Her, and I loved Her, and I loved Her... fiercely." Anyone can learn to live like that; it's the real key in the lock.

Then the whole universe stops being seen as an ATM, a slot machine, or a shopping mall. It becomes your willing and waiting Lover.

Everything changes.

And hey, if THAT's a religion, well then, please please sign me up.

That made me giggle so as we waited in the long line, I tried to explain. "Well, to me, most self-help is like saying 'Hey, let's redecorate that dreary prison cell, ok? You know, it would look SO much better if you just changed that couch! Got new curtains! And with a new rug, well, you won't believe how pretty it could be. We'll even show you how to get a nice mate to serve your term with!'"

She started laughing.

"But," I continued, "letting the Divine take the lead is Something Else. All is offered to a great Force of Love. You are actually taken over..."

(On that note, I wondered if I was getting totally crazy carried away in that line, and whether I sounded like a total evangelical nut which would be my worse nightmare, but actually she was listening with a very rapt and deep attention. So I kept going :))

"Well, you recall who You are. A radiant Being in service to Eternity. You begin to be USED by something Greater. And this can happen for ANYONE. It just takes remembering...inviting...and Offering...

"In a sense, Life begins to happen THROUGH you and FOR you (and for everyone else) rather than BY you.

It's the difference between redecorating the prison or... walking out the door."

By the time we got to the front, she was going to get a copy of "Outrageous Openness" that night and take the Offering course. What a funny, funny meeting. We both decided we were thrown together with our mangos and strawberries for a reason.

"Change me Divine Beloved into one who lets You take the Lead in every way. Use me for the highest purpose according to Your will. I am Yours, You are Mine, We are One. All is well."

1) Well first, cuz that's when my publisher Simon and Schuster put it...partly cuz the paperback version of 'Outrageous Openness' will come in August too. I COULD have made a big battle and tried to move each book a month later, but it would have been a mess. And why bother? That's the date the Divine picked so I'm happy to go with that.

2) If you REALLY apply the ideas from my books to life, Mercury Retro is nothing to 'fear.' Yes, inevitable snafus and the intense need for flexibility and improv often arise. But if you truly WANT 100% to live in union with that Flow, then the Universe teaches you how. And Merc Retro is a good time to practice that.

It's such a different approach than 'How do I USE the planets to get everything the ego wants? How can I get the maximum attention, profitability, etc at any cost? "
Instead, You're saying "How can I let the planets use ME for the Highest good? How can I learn what I need to learn from this? How can I say Yes to What Is?"
Once you do THAT, God can make any transit a blessing!

So If She picked Mercury retro, then I'm ALL in. To me Offering is the key so since the Book and Tour both have been offered fully to Love, each step will be shown. She'll open the way as needed...tho I'll bet you ANYTHING I'll have some REALLY nutty stories for you as I go!

(Quick sidenote. When I went to India in 2000, I flew under Mercury Retro AND a total solar eclipse both. It was the only ticket I could find and folks said, "OMFG, you're an astrologer. Are you nuts??" It was one of the happiest, best trips of my life. Trusting the Divine, offering All, and not vibing with Fear changes everything.)

3) I'm pretty darn wacky myself so not really scared of that (unlike spiders :)) Just get fluid, get flexible, offer it all over, and FLOW.

Take if you need!

A few weeks ago my manager Matt asked if I’d like to have a filmed conversation with an author whose work I enjoyed. I said sure. Since she was coming to town, he went ahead and booked a new videographer.

Well, late the night before the filming, the author emailed to cancel. And I know conventional reactions would be to feel really dissed or slighted by all this. But Matt and I both felt the same way in the moment, “Nope, it doesn’t matter. Instead of being mad, let’s just figure out why the heck the Shakti guided us to book this camera since the videographer will be here in eight hours!”
We were sure there was a Plan. (Yes, pretty much the message of OO so kinda sad if I didn’t actually think this way:)). I offered the whole mess to the Divine 100%.

Suddenly I realized that since it was right before Easter I honestly had a burning longing to talk about the crucifixion. So that’s actually how the Easter video a lot of you have seen came to be. And I could only do that solo, it wouldn’t have worked had the other author come.

And not only was THAT piece made but I was surprised to see once this playful yet super-efficient camera-gal arrived how much I liked doing these video talks. Hey, I’d always thought I was just a radio person, but who knew? Jeez, I actually loved it. So more will come.

And all because of that one cancelled appointment. Bless that sweet author for jumping ship! Seriously.

So I’d love to hear about a cancellation or delay that brought something AMAZING into your life. This has happened so damn often, I fully trust it, and it's one of the many reasons I never bother manifesting anything. God’s plan has proved to be infinitely better so many times I can only giggle and say….please please please, I offer myself to You. Do what You will.

And…

Om Gung Ganapataye Namah!

If it helps fling open a door to that inner Love in your own Divine heart in any fashion, I will be thrilled. Please just take as a gift to thank you for being such a wonderful support of my writing and work.

Happy Easter & Passover!

Love,
Tosha

"The only thing required of you is to allow all your raging desires to relax into preferences. Then EVERYTHING will be done THROUGH You and FOR You, not BY you."

So I would only add,

"Change Me Divine Beloved into One who Offers every desire to You, knowing every right outcome is already selected. Grant me true surrender and peace. Let me be only a vehicle for Your will in every way. I am Yours, You are Mine, we are One. All is well."

-Tosha Silver

So I laughed and said, 'Ok wait! What?? This is yoga, right? No need to push or nab anything. If I'm meant to be there one last spot will wait ...and if not ...well, you know, I'll just go somewhere else. Actually I wouldn’t mind seeing ‘Imitation Game’ down the street."

She looked at me like I was maybe deranged. But eventually I was the last one to get inside that hot, insanely crowded room, where one single perfect spot awaited right at the door. (Great cuz you could actually get some air that way.) Guess God wanted me to stay. And it definitely was fun.

But honestly, WHY on earth would you EVER want to live any other way? What’s meant for you will always be ‘held.’

So take if u need

--Tosha Silver

Someone wrote me recently to say she loved "Outrageous Openness" but found since she read it sometimes things got much HARDER for a bit...until they became more peaceful and easy. She finally had a companion she could trust in the Divine. She wondered if I'd comment.

Yes and yes! The book is all about Offering: surrendering agendas to Love Itself. And honestly, sometimes when you sincerely do this a period of loneliness or even emptiness comes while god REMOVES what no longer works. Believe me, this has happened to me plenty!! There's an ebb and flow of emptying and receiving. And there are ALWAYS challenges. That's part of human incarnation :)

So yes, it CAN be painful! But this makes room for a Divine Plan to enter later. A vacuum HAS to be created to receive the New, especially if you've outgrown a lot but are still holding on. Just trying to manifest a bunch MORE solves NOTHING.

So this is very DIFFERENT than giving the Universe shopping lists and timelines to manifest junk. Genuine offering actually takes the ego out of the driver's seat (where it makes attachment and grasping) and says to Love, "Let me do Your bidding. Let me genuinely want the Highest to occur. Let me trust that ALL of my needs are always met and You know my heart's deepest longings. Free me from addictions and obsessions. May all happen for the Good!"

And amazingly it DOES. You may have to wait and even walk a dark road for a bit, but eventually...it does. The Divine becomes your trustworthy ally in every way, even during tests and difficulties. And the Highest DOES occur ...in vast and amazing ways the ego could NEVER, ever dream up!

I can promise you that. And probably others on this page who are living the same could say that too. Feel free to share if you feel.

And if this all just sounds crazy, I definitely recommend reading (or re-reading) the book.

-Tosha Silver

In Sanskrit, tapas means the suffering you feel as you learn to surrender to the Divine. It’s the cosmic fire that burns away the impurities that make us chase, manipulate, and grab. Tapas can be painful as all heck cuz it’s actually the purification of the ego. But as the small self offers itself to that Divine flame, over and over, it begins to let go, like a hard fist that opens.

Or a flower.

In Spanish, tapas are another deal. You know, they’re those little dishes from Spain that are so delicious :))

Last spring when I was in Mexico, someone suggested I go to the far edge of town to a tapas bar run by a renowned chef from Barcelona. She said for thirteen dollars you could get his ‘special’ and taste the whole menu.

Well, I hiked all the way out there, and when I arrived it had just opened for lunch and was still empty. I was excited to order that special.

But the waiter said brusquely, shaking his head, “No, no, senora, absolutamente not! Too much work, we can only make for two people.”

“Ok,” I answered, “No problema, I understand. It is a lot of work!” I was a little disappointed and hungry after that trek, but I didn’t really care. In the big scope of things, it didn’t matter. So I just offered it all to the Divine. And I asked the guy if they could make me ‘whatever’ for the same cost. I said I trusted him to pick.

He was gone a long, long time. I started to wonder if they’d totally forgotten me.

Then suddenly the waiter returned, beaming, and carrying a huge tray of tapas, each one a tiny, perfect gift. A few mushrooms grilled with garlic, a couple sauteed pink shrimp, a miniature Spanish omelet, a little seared tuna, a ruby-red tomato salad, a bite of roasted monkfish, some spicy potatoes with salty olives, exquisitely charred calamari, on and on.

And on.

Each dish was more delectable than the one before, a culinary aria to Abundance.

“Wow! Que paso?” I asked. “What on earth happened? I thought you said no!”

“Well,” he said. “You were so relaxed about it and didn’t complain, so we figured why the heck not?” He started laughing, “ An American who didn’t complain, Dios mio, oh how we loved that! Once we started making them, we couldn’t stop!”

I swooned my way through the first platter and then... oh my god, he arrived with another! I was so full I couldn’t take another bite so I brought the second batch home for a Mexican friend.

Which just goes to show, sometimes (even often) when you TOTALLY let go, stop bitching, moaning, and pushing, give it ALL to the Divine.. and have NO idea what the freakin hell might happen next, you get more--much, much more--than you EVER could imagine.

Even with tapas :))

-Tosha Silver

But sometimes we give up right before something amazing is about to occur. I’ve sure done that at times in my life. Giving up in the sense of surrendering all to the Divine, is a wonderful thing. Then the right actions always get shown. That’s the focus of most of my writing.

But giving up, not even being AVAILABLE for the miracle, well, that’s a whole other deal.

A couple years ago I hiked with a friend to a lake known for good swimming. After a few miles, we saw it glistening ahead of us, a green, beckoning beauty. But as we got to the main access spot, where many people had already jumped in, the water looked slimy, muddy and dark. Beer cans littered the ground. We hung out a little bit, never entered and eventually hiked back out.

Last week I returned to that same lake with someone who knew the area well. She showed me that we had stopped way too soon, as do most folks. If only we had rounded the bend and gone another half mile, we might have found this hidden spot with pristine, sparkling water. Though it looked like the trail was leaving the lake, it really wasn’t.

Who knew?

The key was not to get sidetracked by everyone else!

But I sure got the message and it’s come five other ways this month to me: Ignore the wayward crowd, don’t stop too soon and if it’s meant to be, a hidden, secret way will be shown.

Just be available for that miracle.

--Tosha Silver

The Book That Inspired Me to Cancel the Sacred Conference

This sentence sums up my approach to goal-setting:

I will make it happen.

This sentence sums up my approach to problem-solving:

I will fix it.

I have a long track record of getting shit done. If I’m all in, I am all the way in – until the very end. This is something people often tell me they admire about me. And sure, on the surface, that tenacious love of completion is a major asset. But for most of my life, underneath the Herculean surge toward the finish line has been the hypnotic belief that this brute force model of accomplishment is what true success looked like.

And when you add in the extra layer of being an ambitious woman in a patriarchal world, I thought for sure, this was the only way to hit it big.

Hit a wall? Knock that sucker down.

Not getting the support you need? Don’t waste your time with silly ‘support’ conversations – we all know it’ll get done faster (and to a higher standard) if you do it yourself.

The Epidemic of The Do-It-Aller

After rolling around in that muck for most of my life, I finally got wise to the neurosis there, and wrote this (make “this” a hyperlink to: http://annikamartins.com/no-thanks-mr-manifestation-guru-im-not-the-creator-of-my-universe/). And for a while, my head and heart were clear on the matter.

But like most patterns of bullshit thinking, the years that it took to etch those “Strong people do it on their own” tracks onto my psyche would not be undone with just one particularly righteous blog post.

And so I found myself, watching the sun rise one winter morning, realizing that I had done it again. I had twisted myself into the belief that I can (and should) do it all. In my personal relationships, at work, even in my creative expression, my life had become a series of rigid boxes and barricades.

And this isn’t unique to me. I bet you know the taste of it, too. In most societies, women are, by definition, expected to be the do-it-allers. We gush over the women who power forward through every obstacle and ACHIEVE in their personal and professional lives. We celebrate the do-it-aller, constantly.

And while celebrating women is high on my list of priorities, I think we’re in denial about the potential harmfulness of this understated expectation.

My second wave of clarity around the Do-it-Aller Syndrome arrived because of a book. Outrageous Openness: Letting the Divine Take the Lead by Tosha Silver.

If I were to expand Tosha’s sub-title, I’d change it to:

(Wo)manhandling your future is not going to work, sweetheart. Let go and let God.

In principle, this sounds so lovely, doesn’t it?

In practice, shit is hard.

Especially for the you-can-do-it-all-and-SUCCEED types, like me. Because letting the Divine lead requires surrender. It requires that we fall deeper into our feminine receptivity and allow our lives to unfold, instead of contorting and twisting so that we can MAKE our lives happen.

What would it take for you to allow the Divine to guide your life, instead of single-handedly trying to MAKE your life?

This is not about passivity or even, laziness. This is about trusting the intelligence of the Universe, instead of relying exclusively on the tiny brain in your own head.

This kind of surrender requires the deepest, truest kind of faith.

It is the faith that even though you have made some questionable choices and you’ve hurt people and people have hurt you, you are still loved. You are protected. You are safe. You are well.

Even with all the goals you have yet to hit, all the things you have failed at, and all the things you’ve never even tried, you are still loved.

Believing you are loved (just the way you are, right at this very moment) is the same thing as faith in the Holy.

Tosha’s book is full of stories and thoughtful prayers that I hope will inspire and encourage you to take even just one itty bitty step towards some of that surrender.

When I surrendered to the Divine, I saw that I needed to let go of some goals. Goals like Sacred, the conference I was planning.

When I surrendered to the Divine, I saw that I had been pushing away some places and people I actually needed to draw close.

When I surrendered to the Divine, what felt like hollow spaces in my life became ripe with possibility. (Side note: In case you were wondering, Possibility has full, pink lips and strong arms. Yes, I checked.)

So why should you surrender?

I’m not shoulding anybody, but in my experience:

Surrendering to the Divine (or whatever term you prefer), and putting down the burden of trying to do it all on your own, feels damn good. Sweet soul relief.

And then, on the other side of Surrender is Ease. On the other side of Letting Go is Receiving. On the other side of Trust is Love Like You’ve Never Known Before.

Tosha’s words helped me see the places in my life where I was pushing and forcing and striving. The places where I was making it HARD, instead of the Softness I craved.

I saw all the ways I was paying lip service to faith and Divine Guidance, but in actuality, I was not allowing myself to be guided by my faith at all. I was all push-push-push. My head was down, focused on powering towards the goal or the guy or the project, instead of head up, eyes open, ears perked.

Trusting Life is on your side isn’t a one-time purchase. Sacred surrender requires regular installments.

This is a daily (minutely?) choice you have to return to, again and again. At some point, you’ll probably fall off your own track. Even the most pious among us forget to take our spiritual vitamins on some days. But when you fall, don’t let the falling define you. Define yourself by choosing to get back on the ride. Define yourself by choosing to see the Divine as your Waymaker, instead of your wish-granting genie.

And if this ‘Trusting the Divine’ thing feels way out of reach right now, try this prayer:

I want to have total faith in You.

I want to believe that I don’t have to worry so much, because You’re taking care of me.

I want to believe that a perfect solution for every “problem” already exists.

I want to surrender to receiving those solutions, in perfect timing and form. 

I want to be guided to the right actions to take, and also guided to knowing when I need to sit back and do absolutely nothing but trust in You.

Truth be told though, these things feel kinda tricky for me right now, but this is who I want to be. This is how I want to live. This is the sacred path I want to walk. So help a sister out, wouldja?

All love,
Annika

Note: For more of her writing visit her website at www.annikamartins.com.