Totally Shrewd

2012-02-24T08:13:00.000-05:00

"Save $1,000 with These 5 Phone Calls" - Video by Rami Sethi below. It is actually part of a series of videos.
His YouTube channel

Stream Your Movies, Home Videos, Music, and Pictures From Your Computer to Your TV (Part 3)

2012-02-12T22:17:00.001-05:00

I am skipping ripping your music. Skipping-ripping. I like that: skipping-ripping.

Anyway, you probably already have the tools necessary to rip music. For example, Windows Media Player allows you to rip music. I'm far more interested in movies. This post is actually an update, if you will, to a previous post (Part 2).

In part 2, I discussed ripping movies using DVDShrink/DVD34 and Handbrake. Well, the good folks at HowtoGeek.com discovered a way to cut out the step of using DVDShrink/DVD34 and just use Handbrake to rip DVDs. Three cheers for laziness! Ok, two. I wouldn't want you to waste your precious energy.

Remember that ripping DVDs is a two step process. The first is the decrypting of the DVD's contents and the second is the extraction of the movie file. If you follow the steps below, you can do both at the same time.

First, let me tell you that if you have a Mac, you can already rip just using Handbrake because it comes with playback libraries that allow this; that is, the decryption happens without any adjustments on your part. So, if you have a Windows PC, follow these instructions; if you have a Mac, you can just skip to the end.

XBMC: Ambient back lighting not included.

First, download and install XBMC. XBMC stands for XBox Media Center. It was created for the original XBox to allow you to use it as a media center (go figure). You can use it for music, images, movies, and all sorts of stuff. Even though the original XBox has faded, XBMC has thrived because it can also be used on computers and some media boxes (unfortunately, not Roku... yet). It's very snazzy. You may want to play around with it on your own; but, for the purposes of this guide, we are just going to use it for its playback library. This will allow us to get Handbrake to rip and decrypt your DVD collection.

Once you have installed XBMC, go to its directory, which is probably something like this:

C:/Program Files (x86)/XBMC/

Then, open the following directory:

XBMC/system/players/dvdplayer

There, you will find a file called "libdvdcss-2.dll." Copy that file (Select it with your mouse and press Ctrl+C on your keyboard). Then, browse to your Handbrake folder, which is probably found in the following directory:

C:/Program Files (x86)/Handbrake/

Paste the file there (Press Ctrl+V on your keyboard) and rename it from libdvdcss-2.dll to libdvdcss.dll. That's it! Now you can continue ripping, using the instructions on Part 2; However, remember that when you choose the source, choose the DVD disc and not "Folder".

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Get Microsoft Office Professional Plus 2010 for $9.95 Using Facebook

2012-01-13T12:22:00.000-05:00

Image: Microsoft Home Use Program

I have found that Microsoft is selling full copies of Office for ten bucks with their Home Use Program. Now, if you are interested, please follow the instructions below. Note: I get no kickbacks or referral fees for this.

Go to http://www.microsofthup.com/hupus/home.aspx
Click the link on the bottom right side that reads "Don't Know Your Program Code? Click here."
If you have one, enter your work email and click "Submit". This may or may not work. If you get a success message, skip to step 11. If you do not, go to step 4. If you just entered your Facebook email address, go to step 9. If you are reading this sentence, repeat this step and look up "recursion" in the dictionary.
If you have a Facebook account, you may have created a Facebook email account. If you have, repeat step 3 using the Facebook email; otherwise, log onto Facebook and click the down arrow to the right of the "Home" link. Click "Account Settings".
Click the "Edit" button corresponding to your "Email" entry.
Go through the process of creating a Facebook email account. Remember the new Facebook email address.
Go back to the website above.
Repeat steps 2 and 3 using the Facebook email address.
Go back to Facebook and click the "Messages" link on the left side of the screen.
Check to see if the program code email is there. If not look at the "Messages" link again and there should be an "Other" link. Click it and check for the message.
Copy the program code from the email message.
Go back to the website above.
Enter the email address and the program code.
Purchase the software.

Please use discretion with this software and obey the Terms and Conditions included.

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Stream Your Movies, Home Videos, Music, and Pictures From Your Computer to Your TV (Part 2.5)

2012-01-04T11:50:00.000-05:00

This is just a short little announcement of sorts. As you know (or should know if you've been reading these posts... which you should most certainly do for the sake of my gratification), I am posting a how-to on streaming media from my home network to a Roku box I recently purchased.

Photo: Business Wire

Well, I was just minding my own business lazily pondering when I should start back on the guide when I came across an article about Roku. Apparently, they will soon offer the media box without wires or power input. They are manufacturing little Roku players that are the size of your typical flash drive. You presumably would plug it into an HDTV's HDMI slot and ... well, that's it. According to the statement, the TV's remote can be used to control Roku. Additionally, it is supposed to have all of the features that the current box has.

It's scheduled to come out at the end of this year (2012) and be priced essentially the same as the current boxes. Remember what I said in the last post about making something that will let the consumer be more lazy than they already are? This certainly fits the bill. No wires, completely portable, and using the TV remote. Now that's a sentence fragment I like.

Theoretically, you could take this little fella with you to some hotel or B&B, plug it into the TV in your room, access the complimentary wireless network, and watch exactly the same stuff you could at home. This would not apply to your personal media library unless, of course, you brought it with you (a USB drive and a laptop would work). Oh, the possibilities!

Business Wire: Roku Breaks the Smart TV Mold
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Why I Will Not Invest in Blu-ray and Why You Probably Shouldn't Either

2011-12-31T18:32:00.002-05:00

Yes, I know. I haven't finished the last series. Sometime in the not-too-distant future, I will include how I ripped my CDs. You probably already know how to do this, but it is a guide so I won't make that assumption.

Moving on.

Beta not invest in Betamax.

If you remember when Blu-ray came out, it was in competition with HD-DVD. The two battled it out for a little while, snagging game consoles. Sony was behind Blu-ray, so PlayStation 3 consoles played Blu-rays while Microsoft invested in HD-DVDs, but the XBOX 360 required an add-on to play them. Medium wars are not new. You may not remember this (I don't; the VCR came out in '71), but VHS tapes were in competition with Betamax tapes. Customers ultimately decided that affordability was more important than quality. Strangely enough, Sony was the backer of Betamax. As you probably know by now, Sony's Blu-ray beat HD-DVDs, which stopped production back in 2008.

Stay classy, Seattle.

Enough with the history lesson. Where am I going with this? I believe that Blu-ray is on the decline and will continue to decline until it is replaced with something else. Blu-ray sales have already peaked; that happened in 2009. To be fair, you could attribute the rapid decline in sales to the state of the economy; but in my opinion, it's inevitable, like the invention of the beer helmet.

This is actually a guide for checking for fleas.

No, seriously. You see, it takes a lot of work to hold that beer can. That's a whole hand that's sacrificed to ensure the continuation of brain-dulling by the urine-colored fizz water. That's a hand that could be used for scratching various body parts or participating in the Macarena.

There are two things that the masses will always be duped into buying: the shiny stuff and anything that lets you be more lazy than you were before. The first one's obvious, and I covered it a little bit in a previous post. The second is based off of something my wife told me: "If you could invent something that would allow people to be more lazy, you'd make a mint." It's true. Just look at some of these finds:


Who needs the chore of sucking on a Cert? Just let a thin sheet dissolve on your tongue.	Ellen DeGeneres: "Was there a big mobility problem with yogurt before?"	Thank you, George Jetson.

For some reason,
I've never heard of this movie.

You could make the argument that these and others make your life more efficient, which awards you more time to do more important things like watching the director's commentary on your Olson twins DVD.

Regardless, the reason Blu-ray is ebbing is because its manufacturers still require you to get out of your bean bag and switch discs when you want to watch a new movie. Those fascists! The next new medium will let you sit on your duff and play a movie, a song, a show, or a game with just a remote.

Total rip-off of Benji 5

Those of you who are Blu-ray enthusiasts will probably argue that Blu-ray has the highest resolution available and that additional features that are available on Blu-ray do not exist anywhere else. You may be right; I haven't investigated those claims, and there's a reason I haven't: I don't care. I'm not going to adopt an entirely new, more expensive medium so that I go into the special features and play the Air Bud 3 memory game. I buy a movie to watch the movie. I don't have time to hear about the little spat the director had with the screenwriter. As far as the resolution is concerned, it's excellent - no arguments there. However, I don't need to see the detail in Chewbacca's fur to enjoy Star Wars.

Besides, if there's anything that Pirates of the Caribbean 3 and Avatar taught us, it's that over-the-top special effects and eye candy distract the viewer from a rotten storyline. Remember what I said about shiny stuff?

Furthermore, while the resolution is higher, that also means that it requires more space. So, if I wanted to rip my Blu-rays (yes, it is possible) and store them on my hard drive, they would take up much more space and the ripping process itself would take much longer. Then, of course, you have the Blu-ray player itself, which requires constant updates. This requires it to be connected to a network, which provides another series of issues with which to contend.

Why, Grandma, what very expensive coasters you have!

In Blu-ray's place will be the ever-expanding library of movies on demand through Netflix, Amazon, downloadable content, and/or your own network of media files.

So, when is it coming? That's the best part. It's already here, and it has been here for some time. In the guide that I am providing (and will finish, I promise), I take DVDs that I already own and convert them into media files that can be read by an inexpensive media box that I own. The media box itself is cheaper than any decent Blu-ray player on the market.

How do I know this is going to happen? Because it has already happened with music. When was the last time you bought a CD from a store? Why would you? You can go to iTunes or Amazon and download the good songs from the CDs while leaving the filler songs. You don't need the retail CD for your car, because you can just burn your own CD or use an MP3 player. CDs, DVDs, and Blu-rays all have one large problem: They are all physical media. Physical media can be easily damaged or lost. Have you ever scratched a CD so that it won't play past a certain song?

Eventually, permanent movie media files (much like iTunes does music) will become mainstream. You will pay for a single movie, download it, and watch it any time you wish. Because there will be no need for disc manufacturing and shipping, prices will decrease. It may take some time for this to happen. Movie studios are, no doubt, fighting this as they do with any new frontier in media distribution, but the laziness of the masses (myself included) will win the day.

Where's my beer helmet?

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Stream Your Movies, Home Videos, Music, and Pictures From Your Computer to Your TV (Part 2)

2011-12-05T11:11:00.000-05:00

This guide is not comprehensive. In other words, I will walk you through my process of streaming media to my TV from ripping to organizing to streaming; so, some of the material for this series is exclusive to my method of streaming (the Roku box). However, this post is universal.

This is the most work-intensive part of the entire process. We are going to retrieve the media we want from our CDs and DVDs. This process is called ripping. Don't confuse this with "burning", which means to take digital media and transfer it to a disc. Before we get started, let's do some planning. Say you have a closet full of CDs and/or DVDs. It will take you a very long time to rip all of those songs and movies. You may want to spread out this process over a period of time as opposed to taking the remainder of your sick days to do this. I would start with your favorite movies/songs.

DISCLAIMER: This guide is for ripping movies and music that you own. I don't think you should rip media that you rent; it is illegal. I don't do it, so please, don't use this guide for that purpose.

Organizing the Media

Before we start ripping, let me tell you about the organization methods you should use to accommodate your media. I would recommend creating a folder for all media that you want to access. I would recommend "C:\Users\Public\Media\". With this, you will not only be able to access the files on Roku, but also on other computers on your network. So, create folders for your different types of media:

C:\Users\Public\Media\Movies
C:\Users\Public\Media\Music
C:\Users\Public\Media\Pictures
C:\Users\Public\Media\Home Movies
C:\Users\Public\Media\TV Shows

It doesn't have to be like this, but if you expect your collection to vastly grow, it would be a good idea to plan ahead this way.

Ripping Movies - Intro

Ripping movies is easier than ever. DVDs are encrypted, meaning that you can rip a DVD simply by dragging a file from your disc drive to your hard drive. A decrypter is required. This is partly why DVDs entered the market with such success. VHS tapes were extremely easy to copy for anyone that had two VCRs. The new encryption feature was a big selling point for DVDs to movie studios. Ironically, ripping DVDs is now even easier than ripping VHS tapes. Blu-rays are more difficult to rip, but it is far more time consuming and space heavy.

UPDATED

Everything in this post that is outdated has been changed to light gray. Please view Part 3 of this series to see a newer, quicker, and easier way to rip movies is described.

My ripper of choice is Handbrake. Now, Handbrake's one weakness is that it does not decrypt many DVDs. Therefore, you will also need a decryptor. If you have a 32-bit operating system, I would recommend DVD34. However, if you have a 64-bit OS, I would go with DVDShrink. If you don't know whether you have a 32 or 64-bit OS, click your Start button in the bottom left corner of your screen, look for "Computer" or "My Computer" on the Start menu, right-click it, then select Properties. Look for the "System Type:" label and it will tell you what you need to know.

Ripping Movies - Decryption

32-bit (DVD34)

If I remember correctly, all you have to do is run DVD34 while using Handbrake. The decryption happens magically.

64-bit (DVDShrink)

There are other options than DVD Shrink, but for the sake of brevity, we'll stick with it. The main function of DVD Shrink is to allow you to "shrink" the media of a DVD so that you can burn it to a DVD-Writable disc. That's great; but it's not what we're doing.

Let 'er Rip

Let's get started. I'll assume you have already downloaded and installed DVD Shrink. Put your DVD of "Hello Kitty Does Bangladesh" in your computer's DVD-ROM drive. Click "Open Disc". By default, your DVD-ROM drive is selected. Click OK. The program will run an analysis of the disc and give you an outline of its contents.

Remember, that we only want the movie. If you want to add the special features or director's commentary about the intolerable vanity of J-Lo, be my guest. Click the "Re-Author" button. Select the file on the right side under the "Main Movie" heading.

Double-click it (or right-click and select "Add"). Click the "Compression Settings" tab. This will allow you to shrink the media as you see fit as well as adding audio channels and subtitles. Personally, I love subktitles. I wish life had subtitles. So, I check the checkbox under the "Audio" heading that gives me the English audio (this is typically the first one). I also check the checkbox under the "Subpicture" heading that gives me the English subtitles (you can skip this last part if you don't want subtitles in your movies). Finally, I select "No Compression" from the Video header drop-down box.

Apparently, English is now called "Unspecified".

Now click "Backup!" You will probably get a warning message stating that the file is too large to fit on a disc. We're not concerned with that, so click "Yes" to continue. A new window will display giving you some options. Find a place to store the files. I recommend an empty folder. Make sure that the checkbox "Create VIDEO_TS and AUDIO_TS subfolders." is checked. Click OK. The process begins. This will take several minutes.

When it's done, you can start up Handbrake. Once again, I'll assume you've downloaded and installed it.

Click the "Source" button at the top. Select "Folder", then browse to the folder that you selected with DVD Shrink. Click the "Browse" button and go to the folder where you want the file. I recommend keeping the default settings unless you want to add subtitles. To do that, click the Subtitles tab, select (presumably) English or Closed Captioning from the list. If you want the subtitles to show by default (like me), check the Default checkbox. Then, click Add.

For the Destination, click the "Browse" button and select where you want the file to go. I would recommend each movie file to have its own folder. So, if you are placing your movies in the directory "C:\Users\Public\Media\Movies" and you are ripping Casablanca, make the destination "C:\Users\Public\Media\Movies\Casablanca\Casablanca.m4v". You should be good to go. If you're not sure, click the "Preview" button and watch a short clip of the movie. This may require you to download VLC, which is an excellent video player.

When you're ready, click the "Start" button and the conversion to a movie file will begin. This will usually take about 30 minutes or so. After it is complete, open the file on the computer first to see if it worked. If it did not, visit Handbrake's website to find out why.

Music will be covered in the next post. *UPDATE* (No, it won't.)

Stream Your Movies, Home Videos, Music, and Pictures From Your Computer to Your TV (Part 1)

2011-11-17T13:18:00.001-05:00

You have a slew of DVDs, home videos, music files, and pictures. You easily view/hear them on your computer. If you have them on a medium like a CD or a DVD, you probably are able to run them on your TV. It works, but it's not a great solution.

Here are some scenarios (you have to imagine them in black and white - in the fashion of paid programming commercials)


I'm trying to decide which of these two I'd rather watch.

You and your spouse/friend/family member/Avon lady are planning on watching a film at your house. You have a DVD collection all in one place, but you realize that you lent your copy of "Surf Nazis Must Die" to your favorite Starbucks waitress. You and your fellow D-movie junkie are so heartbroken that, in the fashion of Reverend Arthur Dimmesdale-styled self-lashing, you put in your copy of the third Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Oh, the humanity!

Another (more likely) scenario: A member of your family is visiting from out of town and you would like to show some pictures of you and your family at Disney World or at the dentist when you had your root canal, whichever one you enjoyed more. You sit at your computer going through the photos one by one while your dear aunt Bessie has to stand up looking over your shoulder to see them. Is that anyway to treat your sweet aunt?

But, wait!

(Now imagine in color - and imagine a big whooshing sound)

Let's say you had everything you needed accessible from the TV instead. What if you could grab a remote or two and play any movie, song, or home video you had in digital form on your TV. You could also view any images you want. Sounds awesome, right?

Now, if you want to reach the utopia of media viewage...ness, it will require some work. The good news is that you may already have all the tools you need. There are many ways to make your TV media friendly. Some are more expensive and/or work-intensive than others. I will list some of them below, but one thing they all have in common is that they all require your media files to be somewhat organized (we'll talk about that later):

You could purchase a new TV that is network friendly and reads media files from your home network.
Cost: at least $600, Work: low
You could purchase an XBOX 360 or PlayStation 3 to act as a media box for your files.
Cost: at least $250, Work: moderate
You could buy or use another computer that will hook up to your TV and run the media files from there.
Cost: at least $200, Work: high
You could buy a media box that will read your media files and output them to your TV.
Cost: at least $50, Work: moderate
You get a audio and video output that will run from your computer to the TV (this is essentially the same as the third option; but here, I'm implying you're doing it from across the room.
Cost: Who cares? This option is ridiculous. Work: Ha!
You could buy a device that will stream the audio and video wirelessly from your computer to the TV.
Cost: at least $150, Work: low to moderate

I'm sure there are more ways to accomplish this, but that's all I could think of at the moment of typing this up. Obviously, the costs change from time to time and the cost may actually be nothing for you if you have the required device mentioned and a few cables. If you do have the device, I would recommend going with that option with the exception of using a spare computer. I say that because unless your computer is compact, it will be very awkward in your setup.

I have a Wii. The Wii is not capable of streaming the media from your network to a TV. But, I have hacked this Wii. It can play some of the files I want it to play, but the user interface is awful, it is inconsistent, and the Wii's resolution tops out at 480p - the lowest resolution of TVs on the market today is 720p. So, I wanted a better solution.

A few days ago, I saw that there was a discount for Roku boxes. A Roku box is a wireless media box that does almost everything I want it to do. It has Netflix, Pandora, Picasa, and countless other features. It's also relatively cheap and about the size of an inch-thick coaster. There is, however, one thing it does not do by default: it does not stream files from your network to the TV, which is what I am trying to do in the first place. Bummer, huh? So, I did a little research and discovered that the Roku box can accommodate my needs with a little tweaking.

You cannot resist my black and purple design.

Roku has several models: LT, HD, XD, and XS. It's kind of like buying a Camry. So, depending on what you are trying to accomplish and how, there is a Roku for Rok-you... Sorry.

LT: The cheapest one has all of the "channels" like Netflix and Pandora, will play 720p resolution, and is purple. Cost: $50.

HD: From there, the next higher model has more features like Bluetooth capability and a micro SD card slot (it's black, along with all of the others). Cost: $60.

XD: The next one plays 1080p resolution. Cost: $80.

XS: Finally, the top dog does all of the above and comes with a game remote, and Ethernet port, a USB port, and the full Angry Birds game. Cost: $100.

The audience never knew it, but the Village People
attended every taping of the show.

Cost/Benefit Analysis time. My TV maxes at 720p. While I am in the market for a new TV, it's best if I think about this. Higher resolution means higher required bandwidth, which also means potentially slower loading and/or constant buffering. I don't yet know if Roku can take 1080p resolution and degrade gracefully when the large high-definition files (like movies) bottleneck. I would love to have a box with a USB port, but I can make it work with a micro SD card slot. Bluetooth will come in handy if I want to use my phone to remote control my Roku box. So, I'm going with door number two, Monty. It costs $60. I found a deal that would give me $15 off of a purchase of $100 or more. Easy. Buy two. Price: $105 (free shipping). I know, I know. I didn't save $15, I spent $45 dollars that I wouldn't otherwise. However, if I get a second TV or I run out of ideas for gifts, I'll have a Roku in the closet. That sounded wrong for some reason.

Okay, that's enough for the first post. In subsequent posts, I will discuss how to retrieve and organize your media in preparation for streaming and I'll show you how I tweaked the Roku to do my bidding. It still won't make me sandwiches; but I'm working on that.

Homemade Ice Cream in 15 Minutes

2011-10-30T15:49:00.000-04:00

It's now autumn, and it's become quite cool outside. So what could be more appropriate than to write up a post on a summer dessert?
So, one day the Bride and Sugarfoot went to the local IKEA, which happens to be 100 miles away. So, the Pixie and I spent all day together. I was determined to do some home projects in which she could be involved. I did what any person would do... look to see what complete strangers did, copy it, and take credit for it.
Homemade ice cream? Fifteen minutes? We have a winner! So, here are the materials you need:

These are my ingredients! Get your own!

Milk (I used whole milk, you could probably use lowfat, but why would you? - 1/2 cup
Vanilla (imitation is fine) - 1/2 teaspoon
Sugar - 1 1/2 tablespoons
Rock Salt (or regular salt) - 6 tablespoons
One gallon-sized ZipLoc bag
One quart (or pint)-sized ZipLoc bag
Ice
One or two hand towels

First, let me tell you that this recipe will yield one good serving. I haven't tried it, but I assume you could double the ingredients and get an extra serving (except for the salt, don't double that).
First pour the milk, vanilla, and sugar into the smaller Ziploc bag. Make sure you seal it. Check twice. No one likes salty ice cream.

Aren't you glad we didn't add the salt yet?

Now fill the larger bag with ice and the salt.

This was the one and only moment that I was able to hold the Pixie's attention.

Then, place the smaller bag in the larger bag and seal it. Seriously, seal it well. I went cheap on the first attempt and used substandard bags that couldn't hold feathers. What happened? A salty counter and floor. You can even see some of the evidence if you look closely.

"This bag ate me! Let me out!"

You were probably wondering what the hand towels are for. Well, this is it. You are going to do a little shaking, a little mixing, and - if no one is watching - a little dancing. This bag will get cold - very, very cold. Don't try to be a macho man. Leave that to the Village People. Be smart. Use the towels. Do this for about ten minutes. You will start to notice that the ice milk will thicken slowly to become ice cream. When it has reached the desired thickness, remove the smaller bag from the larger one.

Trust me; it's yummier than it looks.

Empty the ice cream into a bowl and enjoy.

Don't eat me too fast. It's not good for your brain.

This ice cream was delicious and I highly recommend it. You can add flavoring to the ice milk, use chocolate milk instead of regular milk, or just use your imagination - that's always the hardest.

By the way, credit for this recipe goes to wormsinpuddles.com (which is also a delicious recipe).

Enjoy!

Build Your Own Computer or Cry Trying (Conclusion)

2011-10-30T14:57:00.000-04:00

It works, and has been working for a while now. Due to my lack of attention span, I am going to move on to other projects.

Build Your Own Computer or Cry Trying (Part 4)

2011-08-30T12:30:00.000-04:00

Your work with the processor is done. Good job! Let's move onto the RAM. This should be one of the easier parts of the assembly. First, pull out the RAM and notice the single notch on the "tooth" edge of the RAM. This notch is not centered, which is good for computer builders like yerself, doncha-know. Because the notch is not centered, there is only one way to install it. Obviously, the tooth edge is pointing toward the motherboard and the shape of the slot will prevent you from installing it in an improper way. Your first step is to pull the arms (the latches on the outside of the RAM slots) back (outward).

But before you do anything else, there are a few things that you should know before installing the RAM. First, the vast majority of motherboards (mine included) hold RAM in pairs. As you can see, my motherboard has four slots, two white and two blue. If you have a single RAM, put it in a white slot. If you have two RAM, put both in white slots. If you have four identical RAM, fill 'er up. If you have two pair of different RAM, put the matching RAM in a single color (put a matching pair in the white slots and the other matching pair in the blue slots). Some motherboards have different colors, so you may have to read the manual. Oh, the horrors!

Second, you do need to make sure that the RAM is all the way in the slot. It is a very tight squeeze and you have to press down hard until the arms snap toward the RAM and secure it. There are notches on the short edges that correspond to the arms.

So, take the RAM out, pull the arms of the slots outward, press the RAM down evenly until you can snap the arms into the RAM's outer notches. Then, you're done... with the RAM, that is.


Oh, mighty RAMeses!	Locate the RAM-sized slots.	Press down until the arms click.

You have the power, He-Man.

We're making progress. Unpack the power supply. You should see a big box with a fan inside that wires a whole mess of cables coming out of it. You should also have a power cord. I'll be honest. This one threw me for a loop, because I am used to seeing computers where the PSU is at the top of the tower; well, this one is at the bottom.

For this case and power supply, the PSU resides on the bottom; but that may not be the case for you (pun intended). Make sure you read the manual for the case, although you should be able to figure out where it goes just by looking at the case. Then, the only issue is which way the fan is pointing. Most PSUs have the fan pointing away from the inside of the computer, but if your case does not have holes for the air to escape, it's probably the other way. Again, check the manual. Once the PSU is in place, secure it with screws.


If the thing don't fit, you must not quit.	Don't forget to screw the PSU in place.

Securing the motherboard is next. This step and the previous step with the PSU can be completed in either order. You may prefer to secure the motherboard first. It's up to you. However, before you secure the motherboard, you need to put the output plate in place.

I am the output plate. You should put me in correctly.
If I am otherwise when you are finished, I shall be very put out.

Take a look at the motherboard and how it fits into the case in order to determine which way the output plate goes in. Look at the back of the case to find the output plate-sized hole. Then, put the output plate in so that it is snug and will match the orientation of the motherboard when you put it in.

Now, gently place the motherboard inside the case so that the output plate matches the motherboards outputs. Gather a few screws and secure the motherboard to the case.


Don't underestimate the power of gravity... and butterfingers.	It fits! Woot!	Nobody likes a loose motherboard.

You're not done yet. First, plug in the USB cable that is coming from the front of your case to the matching USB outlet on the motherboard. Make sure to put it in the white outlet. There is also probably an wide audio cable coming from the front (not pictured here, but you can see it in the last picture of this post where the insides are visible). Mine is rainbow colored. It is wide because it is supposed to be surround sound. Plug it into the appropriate place, probably towards the rear of the motherboard.

It wasn't easy doing this
while holding a camera, you know.

There are many little cables coming out from the front of the case. These are the LED lights, the reset button, and a few other things that reside on the front of your case. It can be a hassle to plug these in because they are so tiny and you have to make sure to put them in correctly, as they have a positive and negative side. I'm sorry I don't have my own picture for this step. I guess I got lazy. So, I stole this picture from Maximum PC. You really, really need to read the manual on these. Rule of Thumb: the white wire is typically negative.

The camera got heavy.

Now plug the power cable coming from the PSU into the motherboard. There will only be one slot on the motherboard for this to fit. Once again, hat tip to Maximum PC for the photo. Hey, don't roll your eyes at me. You get me my own computer lab and the pictures will be better. Until then, no complaining. By the way, there is also a 4-pin plug (not pictured) that you need to plug into a slot that should reside near the CPU.

I'll admit it. Maximum PC does a better job of taking pictures...
and of selecting hand models.

Now remove the DVD-ROM from its packaging. Remove the front part of the case (read the manual to find out how - some cases may not let you do this without holding your mouth right). Pop out the slot cover from the front of the case. Make sure you do this only for one of the slots that are 5.25 inches wide. Your case may have one that is 3.5 inches wide. Leave that one alone unless you have an internal 3.5 inch media card reader or a floppy disk drive that you want to install.

Don't look. My insides are showing.

My case comes with these nifty knobs that can secure the drives with a twist... no, a literal twist, not a literary twist.
	The knob fits the screw holes in the drives. So, all you have to do is put it in and give it a little twist. Genius!

Slide the drive in from the front side and secure it with whatever mechanism the case allows. Some cases let you slide in a drive and it will secure it with a spring mechanism. Some have the twisty thing that I have; and some poorly designed ones make you screw it in yourself. The nerve!
	It fits! Oh, frabjous day! Yes, that's a word. Use it in Scrabble.

Take one of the many SATA power cables from the PSU and plug it into the DVD-ROM drive.
	"Give me power," the drive said to the user.

Take one of the SATA cables that came with the motherboard and plug one end to the drive...
	Try doing this with one hand and you'll appreciate the trouble I went through.

...and plug the other into the motherboard for a slimming and flattering fit.
	It doesn't matter which slot you choose, as long as you choose the right one, which happens to be a blue one.

Now, take the hard drive out and slide it in one of the 3.5 inch bays from the inside. You will probably have to squeeze it in with the motherboard and the cables interfering. Unplug stuff if you need to, as long as you remember to plug it back in. Remember that the hard drive should not be seen from the outside of the computer, so do not pop out the slot cover. With those exceptions, repeat the same steps you did with the DVD-ROM. Plug in the power with a SATA power cable from the PSU and plug in the SATA cable from the hard drive to the motherboard. In this case, since I have 6.0 Gb/s SATA slots (the white ones) on my motherboard and my drive allows for 6.0 Gb/s transfers, I'll plug the SATA cable into one of those for my hard drive. If your hard drive is 3.0 Gb/s, stick with the blue slots.

This is a tight squeeze for sure.

Now, all I need is a human brain. Too bad I used up all of mine.

This lovely spaghetti container is the result of everything so far. Ain't it purdy? Now, close the case, hook it up to your monitor, plug in a keyboard, plug in a mouse, and plug in the power cord. The moment of truth has arrived... that is, whenever I post the conclusion to this series.

Build Your Own Computer or Cry Trying (Part 3)

2011-08-19T10:57:00.002-04:00

It's finally here: the assembling of the new computer from scratch. I purchased all of the parts and a few days later, there was something on my doorstep.

Christmas in July

So now, let's unpack...

Pardon me while I wipe away my drool.

Now the first step after unpacking all of your new computer parts is to do a happy dance. Go on, I'll wait... Ok, that's enough. No, seriously, stop it. The next step is to open your case.


Don't forget your Phillips screwdriver or you'll be Totally ... well, you know.	The case comes with these parts, which include various screws and an internal speaker.	Open up and say, "Ah, yeah!"

"Hello. I am the motherboard. Are you my baby daddy?"

Now that the case is open, let's take a look at the motherboard. As you can see, the motherboard comes with whole host of stuff. There are SATA cables, manuals, the output plate, a CD-ROM, and the motherboard itself. Notice the yellow sticker in the top center. That is the place where the processor goes. In place of an actual processor is a plastic piece that is held in place by a latch. I'm going to release the latch and replace the plastic piece with the real processor. Don't worry about the other pieces yet; we'll get to them.


Pop out the latch handle...	Push the handle back or up or out (you'll figure it out)	And presto! As pretty as it is, Do. Not. Touch. This.

Now comes probably the most dangerous part of the whole assembly. Don't mess this up! Pay attention and don't skip the details. First unpack the box that holds your processor.


The box holds three things. The manual...	the heatsink fan...	...and this little fellow is your processor.

I need a manicure... badly!

Some people prefer to wear rubber gloves to do this and if you want to, go right ahead. Static electricity is your enemy here. You do not want a jolt of electricity to pass from your body to the processor. This could leave you crying. So, I'm not going to wear gloves. Instead, I'm going to discharge my body's static electricity by touching something metal. Go do that now (Don't skip this). Now, you're ready to handle the processor. Take a look at it. Notice the corner of the processor that has a gold triangle. Also notice that there are notches on the side of the chip. Sometimes the motherboard will have a matching triangle for the processor, but you can't miss if you know where the notches are. Remember to hold it on the outside only. Don't touch the pin side, ever.

Easy now. Don't sneeze.

Now there's only one way to place the processor into the socket. If you are aware of where the notches are and that the pin side is face down, then you can't miss. I hope I didn't just spook it for you. Place it gently into the socket. Don't press down on the processor or you may bend the pins - making your motherboard useless. So, don't drop it, slide it, or press it; just place it there and make sure it fits well. If it doesn't, pull it off and try again.

"Close Sesame"

When (and only when), the processor is fitted flat in the slot, close the plate, pull the arm back and secure it into the hole from whence it was. That wasn't so hard, was it? You've now finished the riskiest part of the process. Why don't your take a breather and come back... Back yet? Ok, just let me know... Hey, would you please wash your hands after going to the bathroom? Yeesh!

The heatsink fan is next. This is the small fan that came with your processor. It keeps the processor from overheating and is absolutely necessary.


This is NOT a food processor.	Pointy thingies are good for poking... and for cooling your processor

There in the center of the picture is a locked heatsink fan leg.

Some heatsink fans have a thin film of thermal paste on the under side and some do not. This one has it, but if yours does not, you need to apply per the included instructions. Obviously this fan covers the processor, and if you look at your motherboard, you will notice four symmetric holes surrounding the processor. Place the heatsink fan over the processor, lining up the four pointy things with the holes. Press down on each of the four sides (I recommend one at a time, using a criss-cross pattern) until you hear a click. Turn the board over and look at the under side to ensure that all four of the legs are protruding and are locked in place.

This is not an advertisement for Circuit City.

You'll notice that the heatsink fan has a wire connection that is wrapped around it. Look on your motherboard for a slot that fits the size of the plug. It should be labeled "CPU FAN" and it should be very close to the processor. Unwind the cord as necessary ensuring that it will not interfere with the fan's motion and plug it in.

Let's take a break. I'll continue with the installation in a upcoming post.

Build Your Own Computer or Cry Trying (Part 2.1)

2011-08-09T08:42:00.000-04:00

I've made two goofs.

First, I haven't posted the last part of this series yet. Cut me some slack; there are a lot of pictures and details about it. It takes time and I've got a newborn at home who, for the purposes of this blog, I will call Sugarfoot. She's sweet, but she gets hungry quite often and will let you know about it... quite often.

The second goof was that I didn't include the case for the last post (hence, the 2.1).

So, let me address the second and you'll just have to hold your proverbial horses for the first.

Case

Goal: "Be somewhat upgradeable and expandable"
Purchase: Thermaltake V3 Black Edition VL80001W2Z Black SECC / Plastic ATX Mid Tower Computer Case
Price: $39.99
Goal Met: Check

I hate slim cases. They are great for some purposes like fitting into tight spaces and swatting flies, but they are not for me. I kid, but I want expandability. For example, I have no desire for a graphics card right now; but who knows what I may want in a year or two? I have the attention span of a ... Hey, look! A red pen!

Where was I? Oh yeah. This case has four slots for disc drives (I'll probably never use more than two), several slots for hard drives, a bay for a 3.5" drive (like a floppy, or more importantly, a SD card reader ... drive ... thing), and many expansion slots. This may be more than I need (I'm sure it is), but the price difference between a slim case and a mid-tower is negligible, so I'll go with the one that has options.

Now, this case isn't perfect. For one, I wish there were more ports on the front. This case has two front USB 2.0 ports, a microphone port, and an audio port. It would have been nice if the front of the case came with a SD card reader, more USB ports and a snow cone machine, but you can't have everything.

Since we're talking about the frivolous, the fan in the back has LED lights that glow a beautiful blue color when the computer is on. That's totally unnecessary, but I like shiny things.

Purchase Summary

My grand total is $442.33, well below my goal of $500. Go me! Now, let's see if I can actually assemble this thing...

Build Your Own Computer or Cry Trying (Part 2)

2011-07-31T12:12:00.001-04:00

So, let's talk parts. I didn't wait terribly long to get them and I probably sacrificed a few bucks by not being patient. If you want to build your own computer (and if you have the patience), it's probably best to buy pieces at a time, maybe one or two pieces per pay period. That would ease any strain on your budget, probably give you more of a sense of accomplishment, and yadda-yadda-yadda.

Here are the parts I purchased for my new computer and a terribly long justification for each piece:

Hard Drive

Goal: "Have at least 250 GB of storage"
Purchase: Western Digital Caviar Blue WD10EALX 1TB 7200 RPM 32MB Cache SATA 6.0Gb/s 3.5" Internal Hard Drive
Price: $59.99
Goal Met: Check and then some

Western Digital has a decent reputation for making reliable hard drives. They have three versions of their current internal hard drives: Caviar Blue, Green, and Black. Black is optimized for performance at the cost of being a little louder than the other two, using more power, and costing more. Green is supposed to use less power and be more quiet at the cost of performance. Blue is supposed to be the balanced approach for general use: Better performance than Green, though not as quiet and less power consuming than Black, though not performing as well. The reason I chose this hard drive is because it was 1 terabyte (TB) in size - that's ~ 1,000 gigabytes, it supported SATA 6.0 Gb/s (which essentially means it reads/writes quickly), and it was $60 - a pretty decent price.

Power Supply (PSU)

Goal: "Works"
Purchase: Rosewill RV2-600 600 W ATX12V v2.2 / EPS12V SLI Ready Power Supply
Price: $49.99
Goal Met: TBD

The purpose of the power supply is self-explanatory, but it's important to note two things. First, the power supply doesn't just plug into one place inside the computer like it does on the outside. It plugs into every piece of equipment inside your computer; this includes your hard drive, your DVD-ROM drive, your motherboard, any graphics card you might add in the future, and your massaging seat warmer (sold seperately). So, things to consider are the length, number, and flexibility of the cables. Secondly, the wattage of the PSU is important. If you have a low wattage power supply and decide to install some shiny new graphics card, you going to run into trouble. I purchased this power supply because 600 Watts should be plenty for now and any future upgrades. Remember, expandability is key.

RAM (Memory)

Goal: "Have at least 4GB of RAM"
Purchase: G.SKILL Value Series 4GB 240-Pin DDR3 SDRAM DDR3 1333 (PC3 10600) Desktop Memory Model F3-10600CL9S-4GBNT
Price: $40 for two
Goal Met: Check and then some

RAM is dirt-cheap nowadays. If you're wondering what RAM is, let me use an analogy. Think of the computer as the human nervous system. The processor (CPU) is the part of the brain that carries out instructions to every part of the body. The motherboard would be the nerves or pathways through which those instructions are carried. The hard drive is the long term memory section of the brain.

The PSU provides the necessary energy for communication. So what is the RAM? Think of the RAM as the conscious mind of the computer, not in a Terminator or Matrix sort of way, of course. Ha-ha! How ridiculous! (Eyes shifting) How many things can you think about at any given moment? Probably not too many things. Even my female counterparts with all of their muti-taskery are limited in this regard. Such is the conscious mind. It has a limited capacity. This is what RAM is. The computer can only "think" about so many things at any point in time. The data stored in the RAM is temporary, but it is readily available and is retrieved much quicker than retriving it from a hard drive. If your computer slows down when you have many programs running at the same time, your RAM is probably being overtasked.

Anyway, $40 for 8 GB of RAM is a steal. Before buying RAM, you have to check a few things. First, check to see which form of DDR the RAM is in. I won't go into what it means, but there are DDR, DDR2, and DDR3 RAMs. You need to make sure that your motherboard will support whichever RAM you purchase. Next, remember that RAM for a desktop is different than RAM for a laptop and the two are not compatible. Finally, ensure that your motherboard supports the Hertz value of the RAM. This one I purchased is 1333 MHz. There are a couple of other values for RAM out there, so be careful.

DVD-ROM drive (optical drive)

Goal: "Have a DVD rewritable drive of respectable speed"
Purchase: LG DVD±RW SuperMulti Drive 22X DVD+R 8X DVD+RW 16X DVD-ROM 48X CD-R 32X CD-RW 48X CD-ROM Black SATA Model GH22NS50
Price: Free (it free with the purchase of the PSU)
Goal Met: Check

Can't beat free, right? If I was going to pay for one, I would have purchased one with LightScribe, which lets you essentially make those snazzy markings on the discs.
This speed is pretty decent; I don't think any explanation is required.

Processor (CPU)

Goal: "Works"
Puchase: Intel Core i3-2100 Processor 3.1GHz 3 MB Cache Socket LGA1155
Price: $122.37
Goal Met: TBD

As stated before, the processor is similar to the part of the brain that carries out instructions to all other parts of the "body". If you chose to build a computer, your CPU will certainly be one of the more expensive items. I don't need a CPU that that will turn my computer into HAL 9000.

What I need is a CPU that can keep up with today's basic processing needs and can reasonably handle the changes that new upgrades will bring. I decided to go with the i3-2100, which is the budget version for Intel's latest batch of processors. It should be sufficient for any of the needs of the modern desktop user. I do not plan on using this computer to map out the Milky Way or to help make Pixar's next animated film, so this processor will do just fine; and for less than $125, I think it's a pretty decent buy.

By the way, as I'm writing this post, the price on Amazon has gone down to about $120; so, the price is certainly not static. Again, patience will reward the frugal buyer.

Motherboard

Goals:
1. "Be somewhat upgradeable and expandable"
2. "Have some video output"
3. "Support...at least 8GB of RAM"
4. "Support USB 3.0"
5. "Have a motherboard that is standard [sized]"
Purchase: GIGABYTE GA-H67A-UD3H-B3 LGA 1155 Intel H67 HDMI SATA 6Gb/s USB 3.0 ATX Intel Motherboard
Price: $129.99
Goat Met: Check on all counts

Your motherboard determines how upgradable your computer is. Then again, you could just upgrade the motherboard itself, but who wants to deal with that? This motherboard has just about everything I would need for a while and then some. Let's talk about some of the
features.

First of all, this is a standard-sized motherboard and not one of those little micro ATX boards. That's important to me, but may not be to you. Don't bring me a steak the size of a silver dollar and tell me it's a meal. Now, chances are, I will not need all of the things a standard board offers that is not available on the micro board. However, considering the fact that the price difference is not that large, a standard board was the way to go for me.

Now, typically, a standard board will not have a video output and a micro board will. The reason for this is that micro boards are made for smaller cases and graphics cards are typically too large for smaller cases, hence the need for an onboard video output. I guess "they" assume that if you are getting a standard board, you must be a gamer and are going to spend another $200 for a graphics card. Uh...no. Anyway, I found this motherboard, which does have VGA and DVI and HDMI and Display port output.

This board has four slots for RAM and supports the RAM I purchased (DDR3 1333). It can handle up to 32 GB of RAM, which is far more than I will need for a long time. For most modern computers, 4 GB is enough to handle also any task that the average user throws at it.

SATA cords are used for communication between the CPU and the hard drive, optical drive, or any other hardware that typically is found on the front of your computer. There is SATA II and SATA III. The latter can support transfer speeds of up to 6 GB/s. That's fast. The former supports speeds up to 3 GB/s. That's not bad. One of the things I wanted in this computer was support for SATA III and a hard drive that also supported that speed. Fortunately, my hard drive does support SATA III.

The CPU socket is made for LGA 1155 processors. I won't go into what this means, but you need to make sure that your processor and motherboard will get along. My CPU is a LGA 1155 and that's what the motherboard supports - a match made in ... China, I guess.

What else does the motherboard offer? It offers 6 USB ports (including two USB 3.0 ports), a PS/2 port (for a non-USB mouse or keyboard), optical audio output, Firewire (1384), eSATA (good for an external hard drive, but I probably won't be using it anytime soon), an ethernet port, and analog audio ports. USB 3.0 is a new USB standard that is about ten times faster than the current USB 2.0 protocol, uses less power, and is backward-compatible. There aren't many USB 3.0 devices out there, but there will be.

Remember that everything has to match the motherboard, specifically the RAM and the processor. Take extra care to make sure everything you buy will match up.

Well, that's all for now. I've made the purchases, let's see what happens when the man in brown comes to my door.

Build Your Own Computer or Cry Trying (Part 1)

2011-07-16T10:57:00.001-04:00

I've been busy. There's my obligatory statement regarding my prolonged absence from this blog. Much has happened since then, but let's stick to the topic at hand.

I've attempted to make this blog about saving money and avoiding some of the pitfalls of modern commerce; but most importantly, I've tried to avoid making this blog about me. However, every now and then, I will come across a subject that can be about my (mis)adventures and hope that it pertains - at least in part - to something you are encountering.

Some consider me a computer expert - I am not. I have a Master's in Computer Science, but the stuff they teach you has little practical value. My methods of discovery in the digital world are trial-and-error and reading about other people's trial-and-error. So, even if you haven't been e-joo-ka-tid in the field of computer science, there are enough resources available for you to become the local subject-matter expert; so, prepare yourself for people asking you to come and fix their computer. Then, you can calmly remind them that computers require electricity and that plugging in the computer often helps.

Alright, enough stalling. Let's get to the meat of this thing. The time has come to get a new computer.

This is how I roll. Actually, I don't roll.
I pull them all the way up.

My current computer was bought in 2006, an eternity in the digital age. It is a Microsoft Windows XP and has suited my needs so far. "However comma," as a friend of mine likes to say, Windows XP has become more vulnerable to hacker attacks. XP has become the pair of tube socks of the modern age - it served us well in keeping our feet from blistering and our shins from getting cold, but it can scarcely protect us from today's scorn of the malicious.

This computer has been supplemented with protections, software and hardware upgrades, and a snazzy cupholder; but, it's time to take that leap forward.

Since we are talking about it, if your computer has XP, you might want to consider an upgrade as well. I will add this caveat: Avoid Vista like the plague. Vista is like Indiana Jones 4 of operating systems: highly anticipated and promoted, but loaded with disappointments, wasted opportunities, and bad casting. Cate Blanchett as a Soviet? She looks like the unholy spawn of Frau Farbissina and Moe the Stooge. And aliens? Seriously? So the order goes: Hebrew artifact, Hindu stones, Christian cup, then alien heads. (Sigh) What was I talking about? Oh, yeah; Vista. Stay away. Get Windows 7 instead; it's a vast improvement.


Moe, you're looking rather handsome today.	Youse a hottie! Even if it's just this narcotic talking, what's the wost that could happen?	NOOOOO!!!!

So, instead of purchasing an assembled cookie cutter computer with bloatware out the wazoo, I'm ordering the parts and assembling it myself. So, here are the things I will not be purchasing:

A monitor: I already have one; but they can be purchased for ~$100 for a decent screen.
A graphics card: I want a motherboard that already has a video output. Also, I'm not a PC gamer, so I don't need a power-sucking graphics card.
A Solid State Drive: An SSD is a storage device that works like a regular magnetic hard drive except that it doesn't spin like one - so it's much faster. SSDs are great for installing your operating system (MS Windows) because it results in shorter boot times. The downsides are that they have a smaller capacity than most normal hard drives today and they are quite expensive, even though the prices are slowly coming down as time marches on.
Peripherals: I don't need a printer, keyboard, webcam, or mouse.

Now, let's lay down some parameters for the new computer. I want the new computer to:

Be somewhat upgradable and expandable.
Have some video output (VGA and/or DVI)
Support (but not necessarily have) at least 8GB of RAM
Support USB 3.0
Have a motherboard that is standard (I hate these mini/micro boards - they usually violate #1)
Have at least 250GB of storage (hard drive)
Have at least 4GB of RAM
Have a DVD rewritable drive of respectable speed
Cost no more than $500
Work - call me picky

How about one more list? The necessary items for assembly and installation:

Computer Case
Hard Drive
Disc Drive (DVD rewritable)
RAM
Power Supply (PSU)
Motherboard
Processor
Operating System software

If you are somewhat knowledgable about computers, you can skip this paragraph. Here is a CompSci 101 explanation of the parts:

A case is just that: a case, the enclosure for the computer. The hard drive is the storage device of a computer; that is, it is where the all internal data is stored. The disc drive is the drive that reads discs (CD-ROMs, DVD-ROM, and/or BD-ROMs). The RAM (also called memory) is a temporary memory storage chip or set of chips that allows quick access to data that the processor needs at any given point. The power supply is self-explanatory. The motherboard is the large circuit board that allows communication and power to travel along the various components of the computer; think of it as a nervous system. The processor is the brain of the computer. The operating system software (e.g., Microsoft Windows) serves as an interpreter converting commands given by the user into machine code that the processor can understand.

There. If you read that paragraph, your degree from the Shrewd Institute is in the mail.

Now, we reach a problem. It would be nearly impossible to purchase all of these things for less than $500 and still meet all of the goals listed above. So, I'll cheat. I already have a copy of Windows 7 available (and yes, it's legal), which costs about $100 for the Home Premium version. One way to avoid spending the dough for Windows is to use a free operating system. If you take this route, I recommend Linux Ubuntu, which is a free operating system that is very capable of fitting most needs.

Stay tuned to find out what I purchased.

When They Think That You're Stupid

2011-02-12T16:58:00.000-05:00

Yes, I've been away for a long time. I've started a second job, and that has certainly taken a crowbar to my blogging time. Onward...
I've always resented being patronized or treated like a fool by anyone, but especially by advertisers. The standard rule is that if the commercial involves flashy graphics (e.g., star wipes and glittering words), yelling, ridiculous costumes, or shots of greenbacks, the advertisers think that you are stupid... or at least that's the demographic for which they are aiming. Observe...

When I was a young lad, there were the car commercials that would rudely interrupt my Bugs Bunny time. A guy in a chicken suit (no joke) would dance around chanting in a thick southern accent, "Bring ya dubya-2! Bring ya dubya-2!" At the time, I had no idea what a "dubya-2" was, but I was sure that if I had one, I would not take it to the dancing chicken. Clearly, they thought the customer would be mesmerized by the dancing chicken: "Oh yes, please, dancing chicken, take my life savings for this Impala. I can't help myself; your dancing rhythms entice me."

On the radio today, if you live close to me, you'll hear the Pruett Heating/Air Conditioning commercial. The announcer has the thickest good-ol'-boy southern accent you've ever heard. You'd think that if you had the money for a commercial, you'd be able to find/hire someone who doesn't sound like they stepped out of Deliverance. The catchphrase for this place is "Hot? Cold?" Ok, I can understand that; it's an heating/air-conditioning service business, after all. However, in the radio commercial, they don't say "Hot? Cold?", they say "Hot-Cold, baby!" What, in the name of Tom Selleck's mustache, does that mean?!

In short, they think you're stupid. Think about it, when was the last time you saw a man in a chicken outfit trying to sell you a BMW? Instead, you see a man, nicely dressed speaking to you as if you are somewhat intelligent. He doesn't wear a cowboy hat, and there's probably not an inflated gorilla on top of the dealership.

Yes, I suppose I'm picking on advertisers; but they're not the worst. After all, The Bride thinks that these advertisers are simply making an attempt at branding. I suppose that argument has merit. Remember the Head-On commercials?

No, the worst are politicians. Now they most certainly think you're stupid.

Student Discounts

2011-01-22T10:15:00.000-05:00

Depending on your perspective, being a student is better than being a senior, a member of the military, or a AAA member. Student discounts abound! For example, let's say that I'm a junior in college with dreams of becoming the next Bill Gates. You need two things: a bad haircut and software. You can get both for free! Microsoft's latest and greatest in software development packages is available to students for free and I'm sure you can readily find a pair of scissors. Let's say that you want a career in drafting, graphic design or modeling (no, not that kind of modeling; the one that actually requires brain activity). You can get AutoCAD for free (if you are a student), along with many other packages from Autodesk. You can also get Flash (not the comic book hero, or his powers - those are all the intellectual property of DC Comics; any time you think of him, you have to pay royalties).

Of course, if you're not into software, you can also get discounts in hotel fares. Just find a town you want to visit, look for the nearest large university, and go to that university's website. There is usually a "Visitor's Guide" or something like it on the website. On it, you will probably find hotels that offer discounts to prospective students and faculty. Who says college doesn't teach you anything? (Actually, I do.)

This is, of course, a very short list of what's out there for you. You may want to enroll in your local community college just to get some of these perks, but that's up to you. I found out about all of this because I've reentered the world of higher education, as a teacher, that is. Luckily, the discounts also apply to me. Bwah-ha-ha!

The Threats Out There: A Little on Viruses

2011-01-12T08:00:00.038-05:00

Having a computer and an Internet connection is a lot like having a credit card. That is, both can be very dangerous if you don't use them responsibly. Why do you think you get a barrage of credit card offers when you turn 18? The credit companies know that you probably don't yet understand the value of money or the consequences of spending money you don't have.

Credit cards, like connected computers, open up many doors that are otherwise closed to you such as hotels, car rentals, and your front door when you've locked yourself out of the house. However, they also leave you somewhat vulnerable to lurking dangers. For credit cards, this could be theft, fraud, and disgruntled waiters who felt they deserved a larger tip.

For computers, these threats exist in the form of (but are certainly not limited to) viruses, malware, ad-ware, spy-ware, worms, trojan horses, phishing, and chain letters. Most of these can be prevented using free software that is regularly updated. I won't go into each one of these because that's really too much to cover. I will give you quick overview of one of these. Imagine something that exists that simply copies itself and others. It has no ability to come up with anything on its own; it simply repeats what already exists over and over until it's everywhere, in your face, and you can't escape it's copying. I'm talking, of course, about P. Diddy.

You see, P. Diddy has no talent or original sound; he has made his living plagiarizing the talent of others such as Led Zeppelin and Sting. His songs were played over and over again on the radio until you couldn't escape it and you just turned off your radio in disgust. Computer viruses work the same way. They typically infect your system and copy data over and over again until the computer is unusable. Some viruses are more sophisticated than others, but they essentially do the same thing. Anti-virus software looks for certain characteristics of data in order to identify and quarantine infected items. Unfortunately, no such equivalent exists in the world of music and entertainment.

Back to the point, viruses are incredibly easy to make. I could make one in less than five minutes, but it probably wouldn't make it past today's anti-virus software. However, you must remember that hackers and virus makers are not idle. They adapt to anti-virus techniques by masking the malicious software to make it look harmless. This is why you need to update your anti-virus software often. I previously recommended (and still do) Microsoft Security Essentials. It covers viruses, malware, and spyware quite well. Other threats may require additional software, but typically just require a little vigilance and common sense.

Here's a little hint: Do not make any financial investment decisions based on anonymous emails... or any emails for that matter.

Free Software Alternatives

2011-01-10T12:12:00.000-05:00

When my family assembled to celebrate Christmas, I had the opportunity to chat with my father about his computer problems (I'm the family's tech support guy). He told me that his anti-virus software (AV) was giving him unwanted pop-up windows meant to get him to pony up dough for an upgrade. I asked him which AV software he used and he told me (it really doesn't matter which for the purposes of this post). I asked if he paid for it and he said that he paid a year's subscription for the protection. My advice to him: Go home, cancel their service and download Microsoft Security Essentials which is just as good (if not better) than some of the AV packages that cost money; plus, it's completely free!

If you buy software that has a free counterpart, you may be making a mistake of Jar-Jarian proportions. Ok, maybe not that big of a mistake; but, there are free alternatives to virtually every software package you will ever need. Instead of dropping five hundred greenbacks for Adobe Photoshop, try Paint.NET. Instead of GoToMeeting, try Skype. A helpful site that I've found is CNet. There you can search for the type of software you want and filter it by cost (I always filter it by "Free"); then, just read the reviews and summaries to get an idea if that software package will fit your needs.

Keep in mind, though, that free software usually comes with some unwanted extras; like commercials on Hulu or a spoiler on a pickup truck. You can run a spy-ware or ad-ware scanner on your computer after installing your free stuff. Just remember that when it comes to software, you can usually find what you're looking for, for free.

Feel free to add some of your favorite free software alternatives in comments.

In Times of Want: Introduction

2011-01-09T16:25:00.002-05:00

I'll go over a few money-saving tips in posts to come. I seem to be developing the habit of starting a posting series before finishing a previous one. It's one of those things to which you will have to adapt in order to read these posts. Honestly, I don't think this series will ever end, so consider it just an ongoing discussion; better yet, consider it one of the several purposes of this blog.

There are ways to save money, and I'm not just talking about coupons, sales, and repurposing your expired milk for cottage cheese. There are ways that seem to have been lost in the times of plenty. After all, why try to buy that new pair of shoes when you just need a new insole? And why buy more toothpaste when you've got a fully functional vise grip in the garage to get that elusive last ounce out of the tube?

Times are tough, but we've had tougher; just ask your grandparents about the Great Depression. That's your best resource for learning how to save your resources. My grandmother, who was born during the Depression, has enough food stored to see us through three nuclear wars, a bird flu scare, and a Britney Spears Christmas Special. I'll share with you in later posts some good ways to avoid wasting. However, I fear that when the times of plenty return, we'll fall back into the wasteful attitude. We've just had it too good, I suppose, but maybe when we're older, our grandchildren will roll their eyes at the way we store up silos of Ramen noodles "just in case". We can only hope.

First, why don't you share with me some of the ways that you stretch your pennies? Do you dilute the Benadryl? Freeze your left-overs? Make shirts out of your navel lint?

You Are Not Safe - Protecting Yourself Against Identity Thieves, Viruses, and Other Tech Dangers - Part 1: Introduction

2011-01-05T21:21:00.000-05:00

"Your food may contain chemicals that are killing you and your children! We'll tell you which ones at 11. Wheel of Fortune is next." I know, the title's a little exercise in fear-mongering, but it works, right? Besides, what I will discuss in this series should give you pause.

This is the first in a potentially long, but nonconsecutive posts regarding protecting your identity, finances, privacy, sanity, and any other aspect of your life that resides within reach of technologically apt who also reside on Santa's naughty list. I'll talk about your passwords, your personal wireless network, free Wi-fi dangers, firewalls, and other stuff that sounds boring on the surface, but is essential for protection in the Information Age.

Do you remember those old LifeLock commercials? The CEO of LifeLock, Todd Davis, said he was so confident in the protection of LifeLock that he posted his Social Security number everywhere: trucks, billboards, radio, TV, etc. (In case you're interested, his SSN is 457-55-5462). This was an extremely effective marketing strategy that brought name recognition to a relatively new company. However, posting your SSN around like an overzealous Farmville player will have consequences. A man in Texas used Mr. Davis' information and took out a $500 loan. The loan company called the real Todd Davis looking for the payments (or kneecaps). The lesson to take from this isn't to avoid exposing your SSN - that's a no-brainer; the lesson is that there is no way to completely protect your information 100% of the time. There is always a way around it.

Does that mean all hope is lost? Not quite. After all, you get in your car everyday, don't you? Talk to strangers? Watch The Bachelor? Dangers abound! But you are wisely vigilant when you drive, you only talk to those who seem friendly, and you keep your brain from oozing out of your ear by not watching primetime TV. I will go over some similar precautions for web browsing, social networking, and other potential pitfalls that exist today.

Truth in Advertising (Your HDTV) - Part 4: Conclusion

2011-01-02T09:12:00.001-05:00

I haven't covered everything, nor will I. There are a few little tidbits that I will add. You can typically trust the resolution spec. Currently, most HDTVs are 720p or 1080p. This is essentially the amount of detail in the picture quality. The higher the resolution, the better the quality. I have not covered the user-friendliness or capabilities of various HDTVs, mostly because you have to decide what you want. If you want an HDTV that plays Netflix and Pandora, you need a certain type of TV. Likewise, if you have several game systems and a DVD/Blu-ray player, you'll probably want on that has several HDMI outputs.

So, we've covered some of the more suspect HDTV specs that are out there, but is there any way to objectively determine which HDTV is the right one for you? You'd be seriously disappointed if I said no, wouldn't you? Take heart. There is a way (or two), but it takes much more work than simply reading the specs and going with the larger number. Outside of the manufacturers using questionable standards and measurements to give you the specs, you also have to deal with the retailers. When you go to Best Buy, Wal-Mart, et. al., you see rows of HDTVs. Typically, you browse through and compare the pictures of the TVs, right? Some TVs show lackluster picture and others look superb. Beware! While it is true that the TVs typically have the same feed, they are all tuned to perform in a certain fashion. There is nothing to stop a retailer from optimizing the picture on one HDTV (say, one that has a greater markup) and decreasing the picture quality on another less profitable TV. Additionally, the feed that the TVs receive is expressly for demonstration purposes. In other words, it's not a trustworthy representation of the experience you will have if you purchase the TV. Think of commercials. There is no body wash, spray, or deodorant on the face of this earth that will cause hundreds of beautiful women to stampede towards you… but you can cause the opposite effect; I’m looking at you, Mr. Too-Much-Cologne-Wearer!

So, what do you do combat this snake-oil salesman-ery? There are two things you can do. The first is the oldest consumer trick in the book: Ask around. Go to your friend's house, bring a desert, and spy out the new HDTV he bought his wife for Christmas (this is a long tradition - like giving your wife a bowling ball with your name on it). Bring some videos (on a DVD or a USB drive) that you would watch on your new HDTV and see how they look. This would also be a great chance to test the interface of the TV. Repeat this step with your siblings, co-workers, perfect strangers, and local politicians (a desert is optional for them). Another tactic is to bring a USB drive with videos and pictures (assuming the TV you are looking for has a USB port) to the retail store and ask an employee to plug it in so you can test it.

What can be done in the long run? Typically, an non-profit organization steps forward to create universal standards and practices for such things, but none exist on a large scale today. Some suggest that the government should step in and force manufacturers to abide by certain standards. Personally, I couldn't think of a worse idea. In case you haven't noticed, the government isn't exactly stellar in the standards department. Not to mention that the government tends to show favoritism (i.e., lack of enforcement) towards heavy campaign contributors. That's all I'll say about that.

Your best bet is to educate yourself. Test the HDTVs out for yourself. When you make a choice, look for the best price and for a retailer with a fairly liberal return policy, or you could just decide not to get an HDTV - that's always a choice. I hope this series has been at least somewhat fun and informative. Please leave comments if you have any comments, questions, concerns or clichés.

Truth in Advertising (Your HDTV) - Part 3: Color

2011-01-01T08:38:00.000-05:00

Grab a piece of paper, put it on the floor, grab a pen with your toes, and write the following sentence: "You may not like me now, but I'm drinking milk." Take that piece of paper and find the most expensive, state-of-the-art copying machine and have it spit you out a copy. Now, look at the copy. Now, back to the original. Now, the copy. Now, back to the original. Did the copy come out looking like calligraphy? Of course not! It looks like a modern art masterpiece. This isn't much different that the spec games that the manufacturers are playing.

To give a more relevant example, have you ever taken a home video with an old VCR camera then converted that to a digital format and played it on a DVD? The picture quality didn't change a bit, did it? No, neither will replacing a "Pirates of the Caribbean 3" DVD with a Blu-ray disc remove its plot holes.

Virtually all digital media has a certain range of possible displayable colors, typically 16.8 million. This is the color gamut. If an HDTV manufacturer claims that its product displays a larger color gamut, try to remember those promises your local Army recruiter told you. Not everyone who signs up can pilot Apaches or play war games with tank simulators. What good is an HDTV that advertises a larger color gamut when the source of the video will always be a smaller gamut?

Is there any harm to HDTV manufacturers using a great color gamut than the source? Actually, there is. If the color gamut for the TV is greater than the source, the colors will appear more saturated than they ought to appear. If you want to test this for yourself, find a picture of a deep red object - a red tulip, for example - and show it on your TV. You'll know if the image is too saturated.

Have you seen those Sharp commercials with George Takei (Mr. Sulu from the original Star Trek)? In it, he claims that Sharp has added yellow to the standard Red-Green-Blue sub-pixel arrangement. This is supposed to expand the horizon of capable color viewing by showing yellow in a deeper, more accurate way. So, does it do what it says? I'm sure you're not surprised to learn that this new technology does little to nothing to increase your viewing experience, just like drawing a lightening bolt on your shoes doesn't make you run faster. The problem is that yellow is already properly represented with the mixture of red and green. So much for that, Mr. Sulu.

In the next post, we'll close up this discussion and come to some conclusion about what to do about it. Oh, and happy new year.

Truth in Advertising (Your HDTV) - Part 2: Motion Blur and Frequency

2010-12-31T11:00:00.000-05:00

Have you ever tried to take a picture of a toddler with a less than professional camera? If you have, at least half your pictures will have your little curtain climber looking like an agent from The Matrix dodging a bullet. So, you'll understand motion blur. It's essentially the same concept. This article will focus exclusively on LCDs because plasma HDTVs have a virtually instantaneous response time, resulting in virtually zero motion blur. With an HDTV, motion blur is described by response time. Response time is measured by the time it takes a single pixel to go from black to peak-intensity white and back to black again. As of the writing of this post, the most common response time spec from HDTV manufacturers is 4 milliseconds (.004 seconds for remedial math students).

There is a lot of gobbledygook that measures the true response times of LCDs that I won't go into, but I think you've probably guessed that, like the specs for the contrast ratio, the manufacturers' specs for motion blur are only slightly more reliable than politicial promises. The real response times are closer to about 50 ms.

What about frequency? Frequency, if you remember your high school Physical Science class, is the number of times per second or Hertz; no, not where you rented the beige Camry with the funky smell, the other Hertz (Hz). In this case, it is the refresh rate. The three most common frequencies or refresh rates are 60, 120, and 240 Hz. How important is frequency? Well, that depends on what you're watching. If you're into watching M.A.S.H. reruns or sitting on the edge of your seat to hear what Simon will say to some peach-fuzzed pencil-neck that thinks he can sing, you might not even tell. Direct quote time:

"The underlying reason why higher refresh rates don't mitigate blurring is that the true pixel response times of displays are considerably longer than the 60Hz video frame rate, so it doesn't matter whether the screen refresh rate is 60Hz or 120Hz, or whether the LED backlights are strobed off during the frame updating. Similarly, adjusting the electronic processing enhancements that some models offer… only served to introduce objectionable contours, edges, and other artifacts onto moving objects without reducing the overall motion blur
…
[W]hile 120Hz refresh rate monitors and HDTVs don't inherently improve on motion blur over the 60Hz models, they are generally equipped with better performing panels and electronics, so they may still produce superior image and picture quality. And if you're a movie buff, the 120Hz units should offer better motion interpolation from the 24 frames per second used in all movies shot on film. The 60Hz models need 3:2 pull-down, which produces judder, but most people seldom notice it."

So, there you go. In the next post, we'll talk about color. Be prepared to turn red.

Source: Display Myths Shattered: How Monitor & HDTV Companies Cook Their Specs

Truth in Advertising (Your HDTV) - Part 1: Contrast Ratio

2010-12-30T11:00:00.000-05:00

So, it only took one post, and I'm already talking about me and my experience, when I promised to not make this thing (whatever it is) about me or anyone else. It's understandable how all of those blogs essentially become glorified diaries with people talking to nameless IP addresses in the vastness of the ever-crowded blogosphere. It's just so darn easy!

Not this time! In this post (and its hopefully not-too-disappointing sequels), HDTV's will be discussed (even though it's really a monologue). Even though Christmas is behind us and you've probably already bought your HDTV so that your kids can watch High School Musical 9 in high definition, you should still know about this and be wary of product specs for TVs or anything else. I will admit that most of the research for this post is from an article in Maximum PC, a magazine I subscribe to and recommend. I will paraphrase this article because it's long, really long; but, if you have the time, it's a good read. So, here we go.

You've been to Best Buy and you've walked down the line of HDTVs showing Planet Earth or Harry Potter and the Search for More Money. Some look better than others. Some have very impressive specs. Look at the Panasonic VIERA TC-P42G25 42-Inch 1080p Plasma HDTV, for example. It has specs like 5,000,000:1 native/dynamic contrast ratio and Infinite Black. So, what does that mean, and is it true? Not to spoil it, but do you think I'd write this post if was true?

First, contrast ratio. You've heard this number being thrown around like a bad pick-up line. You see numbers in the millions and find yourself turning up your nose to that Vizio and its measly 50,000:1 contrast ratio. So, what is a contrast ratio? The contrast ratio is the the brightness of peak white divided by the brightness of black. Your favorite part of the Matrix probably isn't the empty Construct scene, so we won't discuss peak white. Black is more important for certain movies and games. So, if you're into Friends marathons, game shows, or The Simpsons episodes, the contrast ratio probably isn't going to make a lick of difference. Furthermore, the contrast ratio is essentially meaningless if you're watching in a room with your the lights up, but who does that, anyway? If, however, you like action, horror, or war movies/games, then bet on black.

So, go with the HDTV with the highest contrast ratio, right? Hold on there, quickdraw! We still have to discuss how manufacturers come up with that number. Yeah, I told you how it was measured, but not how the manufacturers list the specs. Sadly, pretty much any HDTV spec for the contrast ratio is total horse-squeeze. This is the unfortunate side-effect of competition in the market. Let's say one manufacturer (a less prestigious one) decides to say that its HDTV has a contrast ratio of 500,000:1 even though it's really closer to 1,500:1. Well, the other manufacturers are left to decide whether to combat this false advertisement by exposing it or to try and one-up the competition with another, even larger fabrication. And so it goes. For a time, there were manufacturers that actually said that their HDTVs had an infinite contrast ratio. Does this remind you of arguing with your brother when you were kids? Did the argument end when one of you worked your way up to "Infinity plus one"? I thought so. So, how can they make such a claim? Simple; they state that the LEDs turn completely off when there is an all-black image. Therefore, the brightness of the black is now zero. You really can't divide by zero - it's like relieving gas during a funeral, you just… can't. But, they do it anyway and call it an infinite contrast ratio. Man, it stinks in here!

The actual contrast ratio values for modern HDTVs: closer to 1,500 - 2,000:1. In short, if you're watching Animaniacs or the sixth Kardashian spin-off, the contrast ratio probably isn't going to make a difference; but if you have an affinity for Tim Burton, then you'll want a high value here - but how can you tell if the manufacturers are feeding you tripe on a stick? I'm afraid I have no answers for you except to say that you'll have to read the conclusion to this series. I'm such a tease.

In the next post, we will discuss motion blur. If you feel cheated by manufacturers, then the next post isn't going to make you feel much better.

Source: Display Myths Shattered: How Monitor & HDTV Companies Cook Their Specs

Men or Mice?

2010-12-29T11:00:00.000-05:00

I am certainly capable of creating a blog of my own and all of the functionality that goes with it; after all, I created Totally Shrewd essentially from scratch. There is freedom in being able to change whatever I wish with no concern over whether it is compatible with a blogging template. Then again, there is also the issue of time and effort.

Have you ever hired someone to do work that you knew you could do yourself? Were you too busy? Too lazy? Not confident enough? Some things are worth paying a little extra green to give you peace of mind.

Is this just a guy thing? When we call the plumber because the shower head won't stop dripping, are we essentially saying that we are incapable of fixing it? That we have tried everything that we know to do and failed miserably? That we have been emasculated by a shower head? Maybe. In fact, probably. Why do you think we don't ask for directions? It's not because we're shy; it's because we feel, as men, that we should all know where we are, where we're going, and how to get there. Stopping for directions is conceding that we are "not man enough" to get from point A to point B without submitting to the constant elbow-jabbing of our beloved passengers. So we stop, we lower our heads, we ask for directions, then return to our vehicle and drive on, thinking about how we could restore our manhood.

Now you know. That's why we don't like to ask for directions - as if you didn't already know. I guess admitting you are too lazy is better than admitting you failed as a man - in Testoster-World, anyway.

So, in my laziness, I will use a Blogger template, then I will go lift a heavy object, beat my chest, growl like a bear, then go change the Pixie's poopie diaper.

Totally Shrewd

Stream Your Movies, Home Videos, Music, and Pictures From Your Computer to Your TV (Part 3)

Get Microsoft Office Professional Plus 2010 for $9.95 Using Facebook

Stream Your Movies, Home Videos, Music, and Pictures From Your Computer to Your TV (Part 2.5)

Why I Will Not Invest in Blu-ray and Why You Probably Shouldn't Either

Stream Your Movies, Home Videos, Music, and Pictures From Your Computer to Your TV (Part 2)

Organizing the Media

Ripping Movies - Intro

**UPDATED**

Everything in this post that is outdated has been changed to light gray. Please view Part 3 of this series to see a newer, quicker, and easier way to rip movies is described.

Ripping Movies - Decryption

32-bit (DVD34)

64-bit (DVDShrink)

Let 'er Rip

Stream Your Movies, Home Videos, Music, and Pictures From Your Computer to Your TV (Part 1)

Homemade Ice Cream in 15 Minutes

Build Your Own Computer or Cry Trying (Conclusion)

Build Your Own Computer or Cry Trying (Part 4)

Build Your Own Computer or Cry Trying (Part 3)

Build Your Own Computer or Cry Trying (Part 2.1)

Build Your Own Computer or Cry Trying (Part 2)

Build Your Own Computer or Cry Trying (Part 1)

When They Think That You're Stupid

Student Discounts

The Threats Out There: A Little on Viruses

Free Software Alternatives

In Times of Want: Introduction

You Are Not Safe - Protecting Yourself Against Identity Thieves, Viruses, and Other Tech Dangers - Part 1: Introduction

Truth in Advertising (Your HDTV) - Part 4: Conclusion

Truth in Advertising (Your HDTV) - Part 3: Color

Truth in Advertising (Your HDTV) - Part 2: Motion Blur and Frequency

Truth in Advertising (Your HDTV) - Part 1: Contrast Ratio

Men or Mice?

UPDATED