Totally Useless Time Waste...

Thank you science!!! This mind boggling revelation would have gotten by us...

2013-11-20T09:22:00.001-08:00

So science is telling us that being married to The Great White Buffalo is not as satisfying as racking up every night with a Certified Dick Wrecking Smokeshow! Who would have ever guessed that? Thank you science for once again taking Captain Obvious out of the equation...

Hurricane Irene shark in the street.

2011-08-25T16:35:00.000-07:00

I hope this Hurricane Irene Street Shark doesn't have a friggin' laser attached to it's head!!!

Where was this dodgeball court when I was in Jr. High?

2011-08-19T08:07:00.000-07:00

Somebody get me this Personal Beer Trainer!!!

2011-08-15T18:47:00.000-07:00

GET ME THIS TRAINED ATTACK BEAR!!!

2011-08-15T18:45:00.000-07:00

How do you think Warren Jeffs spends his days behind bars???

2011-08-12T15:01:00.000-07:00

How do you think Warren Jeffs is spending his time in prison?
a. Reading his Bible.
b. Writing to pen pals.
c. Jacking off fifteen times a day.

If you guessed "c" you know your perverted FLDS convicts!

EL DORADO, Texas — Warren Jeffs has been keeping busy in jail.

According to one of his former jailers, the convicted child rapist masturbated more or less continuously while in custody. Rick Bradley, a guard at the county jail where Jeffs was kept in the weeks prior to his trial, told The Daily that the 55-year-old seemed to be suffering from sexual withdrawal and pleasured himself “a lot.” What does that mean, exactly — five times a day? More, Bradley said.

Fifteen times? “Sometimes more than that,” he told The Daily.

The guard said that the prisoner — who was not permitted conjugal visits — often played solo in full view of his guards. “We could see him,” Bradley said.

When his trial began late last month, Jeffs was transferred to a facility in the nearby town of San Angelo.

The lurid details of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints leader’s predatory sexual practices were revealed in his trial, which ended in a conviction and a sentence of life plus 20 years. Jeffs had dozens of under-aged wives whom he trained to meet his sexual needs. He also raped a 5-year-old boy, according to court testimony.

But he preached a hard line against masturbation.

One of Jeffs’ former students, Ezra Draper, testified that the cult leader told him that God was “offended” by masturbation.

Jeffs maintained his vigorous onanistic pace despite eating barely “enough to stay alive,” said Bradley. The self-proclaimed messiah rejected the jail’s standard meals, choosing to consume only small quantities of bread, water, and peanut-butter crackers.

Is this batting practice video bullshit? Feedback please...

2011-08-12T08:27:00.000-07:00

Don't have any Wrecking Balm? Can't afford laser tat removal? Well how about trying Redneck Tattoo Removal...

2011-08-02T09:38:00.000-07:00

Remind me to never piss this guy off...I'm pretty sure he would have me spittin' chicklets in no time...one tough S.O.B...

Ladies, Start your ovens! Because you got no right calling yourselves X Game athletes...

2011-08-02T09:29:00.000-07:00

Ba ha ha...funniest shit I've seen in awhile! I dare you not to watch these Moto Chicks and laugh out loud 10 times out of 10...

Taco, from The League came out with another video...more comedy gold...

2011-07-30T09:05:00.000-07:00

What do you want to dress up as this Halloween? How about Casey Anthony!!! Less than $200 if you bid now on eBay...

2011-07-26T09:10:00.000-07:00

Casey Anthony mask? Um, yes please!!!

Pastor goes all Ricky Bobby with his Pre-race NASCAR blessing...

2011-07-26T06:20:00.000-07:00

Worst. Ninja. Ever...

2011-07-21T17:11:00.000-07:00

Sux to be this ninja.

story here...

Want to watch a couple fucking in a mini-van while driving down the highway? Better watch quick before youtube pulls the plug on this one....

2011-07-20T15:23:00.000-07:00

I'm about to make you throw rocks a Bob Vila...

2011-07-16T12:25:00.000-07:00

You want to know how to change a tire, build a beer bong, replace a kitchen faucet? Or how re-string a guitar, or most importantly, how to unshrink clothes? Well my Totally Useless Timewasters...I give to you http://www.eyehandy.com/. No doubt, the best "how to" videos on the interweb...You're welcome...

This guy knows how to interview porn stars! Funny stuff!!!

2011-07-14T17:27:00.000-07:00

Red Corner or Blue Corner? Who ya got?

2011-07-14T16:54:00.000-07:00

"My Vagina Aint Handicapped" chick's follow up hit!!!

2011-07-14T15:08:00.000-07:00

"how's my clit taste?" Bahahaha This chick is pure gold! Spittin' disses left and right! Do not piss this chick off or there will be a video out about you next...

Finger size can let a chick know your penis size???

2011-07-07T18:15:00.000-07:00

Well this is some distressing news. This study is saying that if your ring finger and index finger are similar in length then your packing some serious penile heat. Once chicks get a hold of this information they're going to see my perfect hands and assume I have an above average tonsil tickler. How am I going to act when I get them down here in the basement and they see I aint got no bragging rights. Just plain embarassing...

Nice ukulele cover of Iz' version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow

2011-07-07T17:53:00.000-07:00

This dude does a nice cover of Somewhere Over The Rainbow...nice voice...

SoBe Staring Contest with Kate Upton

2011-07-06T16:56:00.000-07:00

Kate Upton...hottest chick on the planet. No other reason for this post.

This is one pissed off old man...just because Casey Anthony was found Not Guilty...

2011-07-06T16:32:00.000-07:00

The way my Facebook page blew up yesterday after the verdict was read, I would say this is pretty much the consensus of most people I know...Bunch of haters! I got your back Casey! Last week you were a low life child killer. Today, things are different. You are not guilty! You are the new comeback kid. First was Mike Vick, then Plaxico Burress, now you my lovely Casey...stay sweet...

Happy Birthday America!!!

2011-07-04T17:20:00.000-07:00

Dude sexually assaults an unconcious woman and thinks its okay because he thought she was dead. Wait! What?

2011-07-04T14:40:00.000-07:00

So this guy is completely innocent, right? I mean, banging a dead chick may be disgusting but its not rape is it? I really don't think she is going to mind much if she's dead. But this chick is laying there acting all dead and shit. What's this degenerate supposed to think? I mean I've always heard there's only two kinds of pussy...good and better. This guy must have factored dead into that equation too. I personally never thought that far ahead. This guy is inside the box yet thinking outside the box. Get me on his jury!!!

What's the old saying? You mess with the bull, you get what?

2011-07-01T06:41:00.000-07:00

The bullring in Granada on Sunday briefly lived dramatic when Sergio Vegas was hit by the chest by a bull at the starting point of resin. The rejoneador dismounted to go for the kill on foot and was caught in the second game. Vegas was taken to the hospital with heavy bleeding and there was performed an emergency cure before being taken to hospital Ruiz de Alda of the Andalusian city. The medical report issued by the medical team of the square read: “Injury hemithorax with upward trajectory that crosses the upper and middle lobe and produces a large hemorrhage. Grave prognosis. ” “We could have been talking about a fatal goring. Fortune has been that there was upward trajectory rather than across. Fortunately it has had to regret anything,” the doctor assured mundotoro Sanchez Ortiz.

Damn bull! How many times I gotta tell you? Use cross trajectory, not upward! Damn! You want to end up on the plate of one of these toreador bitches who stack the deck against you? Now this guy's gonna be able to come back and murder some more of your bull buddies. Be a professional toreador gorer for once!