Touch My Bottom

noreply@blogger.com (Bad Forwards) — Mon, 19 Mar 2007 20:14:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (Bad Forwards) — Mon, 01 Jan 2007 01:52:00 +0000

a venemous beast bit my doggy

noreply@blogger.com (Bad Forwards) — Fri, 24 Nov 2006 21:00:00 +0000

I took her on a walk and a copperhead bit her right between her toes. She got all woozy and was limping and shaking...it was really scary :(

But on the upside the vet gave her this adorable paw cast. She's a brave pup.

i've really outdone myself this time

noreply@blogger.com (Bad Forwards) — Sun, 05 Nov 2006 00:57:00 +0000

Words cannot express how brilliant I feel right now. I have done something that I've been trying to do unsuccessfully for the past five years. Ever since my first visit to Teapot Chinese Restaurant in Northampton, I have tried to recreate the little blocks of goodness that are known as sesame tofu. Anyone who has had the pleasure of ordering a plate of this stuff knows that its not just for fagetarians like myself. The tofu is perfectly crispy on the outside, soft on the inside, and the sauce tastes like God. Earlier this week, I found a recipe for Pan-fried sesame tofu on wholefoods.com. I was initially skeptical because anyone who has had the premade sesame tofu at Whole Foods knows that it is incredibly mediocre. Their Szechuan tofu, on the other hand, is magnificent. But that's another story.

Tonight, my Mom and I decided to buy all the froofy ingredients like rice wine vinegar (wtf?) and give it a shot. I'll spare you all the details of the cooking here and just include the recipe (with my amendments) below, but seriously, we totally nailed it. This shit is SO TIGHT. I really could not taste any difference between our tofu and the tofu at Teapot. See pix below: 1) me and my mom, with some glistening bud light on her lip 2) heaping pile of sesame wonderment.

Pan-fried Sesame Tofu

1 package extra-firm tofu
1/4 cup flour
corn oil for frying
1/4 cup sesame seeds (lightly toasted)
1/4 cup chopped scallions
for sauce:
1/3 cup honey
3 Tbsp Tamari
2 Tbsp Sesame oil
2 Tbsp rice wine vinegar
2 cloves finely minced garlic

Having tried to fry tofu many times, I think the key to making the tofu perfectly crispy is really squeezing all the water out of it like a motherfucker. The Whole Foods recipe says to wrap it in paper towels and put something heavy on top of it for 20 minutes but that is bullshit. You really need to go at it for like half an hour, wrapping in paper towels and squeezing with your hands. Let me just say I killed a few trees doing this. Moving on. Toss the tofu cubes in a little bit of flour, making sure you get every side dusted. Put all sauce ingredients in a pan and mix them up, and put it on low heat while you're frying the tofu. Then, heat up 1/2 an inch of corn oil in a pan and keep it on medium heat the whole time you're frying. Drop the little guys in and keep flipping them while they fry for like 10 minutes. When they are golden brown and feel crispy on the outside, take them out and pour the sauce on top, and finally add the sesame seeds and scallions.

I'm not kidding, this tofu will blow your mind. Try it out and let me know what you think.

...not that anyone reads my blog :)

i got this darling new necklace

noreply@blogger.com (Bad Forwards) — Sun, 05 Nov 2006 00:54:00 +0000

My sister gets weirder every day

noreply@blogger.com (Bad Forwards) — Tue, 31 Oct 2006 16:59:00 +0000

Maggie has started making youtube videos of her GP, Pierre. We tried to get him on cuteoverload but it doesn't look like that's happening.

holy. shit.

noreply@blogger.com (Bad Forwards) — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 03:41:00 +0000

so i've been on ebay the better part of today and just came across these beauties. Guinea pig Halloween costumes.

omg this is my fantasy job

noreply@blogger.com (Bad Forwards) — Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:09:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (Bad Forwards) — Mon, 09 Oct 2006 19:36:00 +0000

pure gold, thx meliss

noreply@blogger.com (Bad Forwards) — Sat, 07 Oct 2006 21:10:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (Bad Forwards) — Sat, 07 Oct 2006 15:35:00 +0000

Update from NC

noreply@blogger.com (Bad Forwards) — Wed, 06 Sep 2006 03:09:00 +0000

Justin is forcing me to watch back to back tv shows about planets and like dark matter or something so here is a quick recap of the past week since we got to NC.

Spent the first few days entirely watching TV. We went out to get pizza one night and have been feeding off that for many days. Yesterday was the Law & Order SVU labor day marathon but Benson and Stabler still haven't boned so that's pretty disappointing. Haven't been bathing a lot because both showers in my parents' house are like getting peed on by a sick and elderly giraffe.

This morning I took Cassie on a walk and in front of a woman who was weeding her lawn, she crouched in the middle of the sidewalk and diarrhead all over the place. I found a stick and flung all the poo towards the woods but it didn't all make it.

Should be getting the buffy playstation 2 game from amazon.com in a couple days.

that is all.

this is so weird

noreply@blogger.com (Bad Forwards) — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 13:06:00 +0000

I have a boner for my harddrive, also vampire dreamz

noreply@blogger.com (Bad Forwards) — Sat, 26 Aug 2006 02:56:00 +0000

Yesterday was my last day of work. During lunch I went out and got a new toy to back up everything from my office computer. It's a 250 Gb LaCie external harddrive and it's so beautiful. It's sleek and dark grey brushed metal, and boxy, none of this rounded corners bullcrap.

So I'm done with work. Starting now, Justin and I have over a month of vacation at my parent's house in Raleigh. This means hanging out with the guinea pigs, walking the doggy, and eating shitloads of papa johns and taco bell while watching HDTV. if i'm feeling productive I might set up my webserver at their house and just leave it there indefinitely.

Last night we got wasted and I fell asleep halfway through reservoir dogs. Then I had an elaborate dream that I went out alone for a night on the town in Noho, and there was a new snazzy-looking bar called "Morrissey" where moz apparently hung out every night and occasionally sang. At the end of the night, after all the riff-raff left the bar, I wandered upstairs and met a very well-dressed but sketchy vampire who was trying to bite his own neck.

Justin has been looking at online pictures of LARP events since last night. It's true. You can find many fantastical larpers just like the Scandinavian toolio above at my new fave site, larplist.com.

stinky bun

noreply@blogger.com (Bad Forwards) — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 03:31:00 +0000

Bad bunny manners.

meet Casper

noreply@blogger.com (Bad Forwards) — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 00:34:00 +0000

This special little fellow was a birthday gift from the lovely Meg Adams. He is Dutch and his name is Casper, a variant of the Dutch 'Caspar' meaning 'treasure bearer.' Casper enjoys shedding and being a cavy, but he is no ordinary guinea. He's a Hansa UK guinea, which means his rotund little bod is anatomically correct.

Just check out the wicked creepy Large Countryside Toy Animals page featuring brown and black shetland ponies, deer, and my personal fave - kangaroo with joey. I love the safety warning, "Not suitable for children under the age of 36 months." No shit! That kangaroo is so fucking scary it would make any kid crap their pants. And then it would accidentally tip over and crush the kid under its mammoth weight. I love it.

two tons of fun!!

noreply@blogger.com (Bad Forwards) — Fri, 11 Aug 2006 21:13:00 +0000

Walrus looking for love - CNN.com

noreply@blogger.com (Bad Forwards) — Fri, 11 Aug 2006 15:32:00 +0000

McFluffendoggin

noreply@blogger.com (Bad Forwards) — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 18:02:00 +0000

Golden retriever Mackenzie is in the office today. Too hot for doggies with no A/C. She wants to romp and paw at me but I have to work :( There's also a fat bulldog sprawled out on the sidewalk outside of Subway and he thwacked his chubby little paws out. i need to get a job at a sharpei factory immediately.

btw these friendly little guys are guenon monkeys:

oohhhhhhhhh just look at that fuzzy bottom chub!

oh no!

noreply@blogger.com (Bad Forwards) — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 13:56:00 +0000

Penguins corralled on Texas highway - CNN.com

"The rest of the penguins kind of stayed together in the ditch"

kill me

noreply@blogger.com (Bad Forwards) — Tue, 08 Aug 2006 18:29:00 +0000

so...I'm pretty much obsessed with Angel now. Even though the show sucks balls, and David Boreanaz still looks like a tube of meat, and they killed off my fave character halfway through the first season, and Angel spends an awkward amount of time talking about cell phone reception b/c the writers can't think up quite enough actual plot to fill an episode, I'm still way engrossed. I want to say I'm just waiting for the series finale where hopefully David Boreanaz will die, but really I think I just dig the show.

god i'm so lame. however, i did find another sw33t wallpaper of him, and this time he is manhandling some bitches.

PS Meg you should come watch with me. you know you want to.

Cutest B-day ever

noreply@blogger.com (Bad Forwards) — Fri, 04 Aug 2006 15:59:00 +0000

Wednesday was the first birthday of Su Lin, the San Diego Zoo's pandaling and ferocious rival to the Smithsonian Zoo's Tai Shan. For her b, Su Lin received a panda-sized gift box wrapped in polka-dotted paper in which to sit and be overly cute. She also received a multi-layered ice cake featuring a big "1" and her name carved in the ice. Su Lin is a leo, which means she loves attention and also tumbling off shlippery ice and landing on her widdle bottom.

mmmmmmColon!

noreply@blogger.com (Bad Forwards) — Thu, 03 Aug 2006 23:19:00 +0000

A testimonial from The Most Heinous Web Shoppe Ever:

From: "E.N."
Date: August 13, 2004 1:04:29 PM EDT
To: info@blessedherbs.com
Subject: Amazement

Oh My GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

If I hadn't seen it for myself I never would have believed it. You know the term seeing is believing well that statement couldn't be more true. I ordered the cleansing kit about a week ago and it actually took me four days to figure out how many Digestive simulators it would take to keep me on track with three bowel movements in a day's time and when I finally reached eight I said to myself I must really have serious stuff going on inside of me. Well at this point I was all excited about getting started with my five day fast. So here it is day one wasn't so bad, yet I was little concerned because nothing was happening I even said to my co-worker " It's a good thing there's a 100% guarantee on this stuff because I maybe calling them for my money back. However I decided to go ahead with it so day two I was feeling terrible I had headaches, my stomach felt like it was turning upside down and when it came time for my second dose of Toxin Absorber I really didn't think I was going to make it through the drink but I did, well 20 minutes later I was made into a believer I felt like I needed to use the bathroom but not to the point of cramping. However when I went in and handled my business I couldn't believe what I saw come out of me I was so shocked I actually called my female co-worker into the bathroom and begged her to look well she finally agreed and we were both at awe. Now that I have two more days to go I find myself more excited than I've ever been about having a bowel movement.

Thank you for such an awesome product.

Sincerely

E.N. Louisiana

WTF squared

noreply@blogger.com (Bad Forwards) — Wed, 02 Aug 2006 21:15:00 +0000

Why the balls do I get spam like this:

Subject: Further doors show oboe

becoming scarlet cap carelessly adjusted upon his head a golden couch for a short nap and getting up to go at it again are all exactly I knew they were playing a trick on me but I didnt let on he looked haggard and worn the end of his resources so far as the extradition of the prisoner JanuaryI have seen the fair Leah but three times since Bertha

????????????

I actually prefer all the emails I get about V1JAGRA and josohROjLEX and PupadV1Jagra.

Harry Potter hearts ponyplay

noreply@blogger.com (Bad Forwards) — Fri, 28 Jul 2006 13:58:00 +0000

Naked role for Harry Potter star - CNN.com
Harry Potter...naked...riding a horse. Twenty bucks says the producer of this play is really just some HP obsessed perv who wants to see some wizard peen. He totally writes slash about Harry and Voldemort's snake.