Towards the Oasis of Freedom

My professional website

2009-12-10T10:51:00.002-05:00

My professional website is located at http://www.gregminton.com - please take a look!

Pure, Tangible Joy in a Youtube Video

2009-04-15T21:53:00.004-04:00

Many thanks to Stef for posting this on the Freedomain Radio board. This video absolutely made my evening:

While/after watching this video, I felt true and tangible joy. The happiness and enthusiasm of the dancers in this video – especially the kids! – is contagious.

This video makes me so happy to be alive – and to have such wonderful people in my life to share my experiences with.

The Beauty of Mistakes

2009-04-14T18:05:00.004-04:00

I can't stop listening to "The Story" by Brandi Carlile (many thanks to Jake for the recommendation back in October 2008). This song resonates with me like few have before. When I first heard it, it hit me in my gut and I felt a complex flurry of emotions ranging from sadness to pure joy. I've tried and tried to analyze what this song means for me, but with little luck.

	Brandi Carlile - The Story

But something hit me about this song today. Yes, the lyrics resonate deeply with me ("All of these lines across my face/Tell you the story of who I am/So many stories of where I've been/And how I got to where I am").

What hits me most about this song, though, is the part at 2:53 when Brandi's voice cracks as she screams/sings the above phrase. Her voice wasn't supposed to crack at that point, but it sounded so good, she decided to keep that take. She described the vocals in that section as "technically wrong but emotionally right."

I think the reason this song – and especially that bit of the song – hits me so deeply is because it is an excellent metaphor for the beauty of "mistakes."

A good friend once told me, "Often, what we want the most is what we need the least." I understood this in abstract terms when he told this to me; it made sense intellectually. I didn't quite grasp what he meant in my core, though, until I experienced it for myself.

My life right now is dramatically different from what I envisioned a year ago – or even eight months ago. As recently as last summer, I thought I would be finishing up my second year of college at this point, working towards a degree in psychology at the University of Evansville.

Instead, I am about to move to another city to pursue a career in writing.

The decision to take a break from school was an incredibly difficult decision. I so wanted to go to school – yet it was what I needed the very least.

Brandi Carlile likely wanted to sing "The Story" technically perfectly...but that would have taken away from the beauty of the song.

The picture of my life so far does not resemble what I envisioned painting a year ago.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Getting Things Done: Someday/Maybe

2009-03-22T14:09:00.004-04:00

I know my last blog post was about doing a series on the book/methodology Getting Things Done by David Allen. However, once I started working through the methodology and organizing the projects in my life, I found that this project fell into my "Someday/Maybe" list.

Ironically, Getting Things Done helped to put my project about Getting Things Done on the backburner.

For what it's worth, I'm finding the book and methodology highly useful. For people who have problems with prioritization/time management, it's excellent. I just don't have the motivation to write a detailed review series on it.

Someday/Maybe.

New Blog Project: Getting Things Done

2009-03-08T19:44:00.006-04:00

Given that my recent blog posts have been focusing on productivity and my emotional experience of learning new and better work habits, I thought I would try out a new project for the blog.

Several people have recommended the book Getting Things Done by David Allen as a methodology by which I can become more productive in a less stressful manner. I've decided to chronicle my process of working through the GTD program step-by-step through a series of blog posts.

My primary focus won't be on the practical matters, however. My focus will be on the emotions I encounter when changing my work habits in the methods outlined in GTD. This doesn't mean I won't mention what changes I am making, but that I will write about the changes with reference to the emotions I feel.

I imagine the emotions will be quite intense, and I am certain that I will feel outright resistance at times. In fact, I've had a copy of this book since October (a friend of mine mailed it to me) and I've not given more than a rough listen to it. That should give you some sense of the wall of resistance that I face. I have procrastinated working through a book about procrastination.

I'll write about the resistance, I'll write about my missteps, and I'll write about my successes. I really want to get to the core of the emotions behind not only the pathologies of my work habits, but also the successes. I realize that my issues with work habits are primarily emotional, and that's what this series will focus on.

Yesterday, I bought a hard copy of Getting Things Done so I can reference it, and today I bought a GTD Coordinator with sections labeled "Notes/In," "Calendar," "Action Lists," "Agendas," "Projects/Goals," "Project Plans Notes," "Reference Misc.," and "Contacts." This will make more sense once I delve in, I assume.

I'll be starting the project this evening, and I'll probably have a post up tomorrow. If any of you have worked through GTD before, I greatly appreciate advice!

The Anarchy of Business

2009-03-06T15:50:00.008-05:00

In the continuing chronicles of my upstart career as a writer, I thought I would share a positive experience in negotiation I had today.

I received a phone call from someone to whom I had sent a cover letter, and this gentleman was interested in hiring me to write his project. However, the total budget I had quoted for the batch of 20 articles he needed was over his company's budget for the project.

In the past, I would have said, "OK, I'll just lower my per-article rate," and offered to write the 20 articles for as little as half the price I had quoted. However, this interaction broke the cycle.

Throughout the negotiation process, we agreed to keep the rate-per-article the same as in my original quote, but I will only write ten articles for the first project (rather than the originally-cited 20). If this company is comfortable with my writing for the first ten, this guy will hire me on for the next ten articles at the same rate, with more projects to come in the future.

My per-article rate stayed the same, and we negotiated a mutually beneficial outcome that fits both his budget and mine. By the end of the call, we had finalized the terms for the project and he had e-mailed me the contract for the first ten articles. Win-win negotiation.

This was a fairly simple textbook negotiation, to be sure, but for someone like me who was never taught negotiation skills – my only template of negotiation was top-down and hierarchical – it felt incredible. I actually negotiated in-the-moment. I did not submit and self-erase in the face of perceived authority.

My client ultimately did not want me to slash my rates, either. If I had slashed my rate in half in order to fit his budget, then I would have felt totally demotivated to work on his project, and the quality likely would have suffered. Through this negotiation, he got a writer he wanted to write his project, I received more work at my standard rate, and we both ended up feeling good about the working relationship.

As Stefan Molyneux discusses in his book Practical Anarchy, this is how anarchy would work: mutually beneficial negotiations. Note that this gentleman did not call me and say, "You are going to slash your rate in half!" If he had said that, I would have said, "Thanks, but no."

Rather, he came to me with a problem ("We want to hire you, but you are out of our budget") and we developed a solution ("Your rate will be the same, but let's spread the work out to be easier on the budget").

One thing people fear about anarchy is that the Dispute Resolution Organizations that are meant to protect people in society would become de facto governments, commanding people and ordering them around.

This isn't how the free market works, though. In the free market, people work together to develop mutually beneficial solutions to problems.

Oh Snap...

2009-03-02T21:23:00.003-05:00

Upon review of my last blog post, "But I Don't Want To..." I realized something. I think this is key with regards to why my recent commitment to gentleness with myself has been difficult to sustain:

Yes, it's all fine to write blog posts about my abstract commitment to gentleness with myself in order to increase my productivity.

That's not why gentleness with the self is good. It's not a means to more productivity; that is the self-bully talking.

Gentleness with the self with the explicit motive to increase productivity is akin to the government increasing freedom a little bit in order to make the tax-cattle fatter for the slaughter (as elucidated in this video by Stefan Molyneux).

You don't refrain from striking a child because striking him decreases his earning potential later on in life. You refrain from striking a child because it's wrong.

I want to be gentle with myself not because simply I want to be more productive, but because being gentle with myself is the right thing to do. Now I've made that commitment explicit; it's time to live it.

But I Don't Want To...

2009-03-02T19:26:00.004-05:00

Today was the hardest test so far with regards to my motivation and productivity. Yes, it's all fine to write blog posts about my abstract commitment to gentleness with myself in order to increase my productivity.

Actually acting on that commitment, however, is a lot harder in the moment of stress.

I'm noticing a pattern, and I don't like it very much.

The pattern is this: I accept a ton of projects, write times in my planner to do them, and then…I don't. I wait...I wait...and I wait some more. I write a paper or two. I do something else, maybe check my e-mail. I knock another paper out of the way. Then it's coffee break time.

When all the papers are due later on in the week, I pull a few all-nighters, finish them, and then rest to repeat the next week.

The first time it happened, I could ascribe it to this factor or that one. The second time it happened, I felt a little anxious, but still found external factors to blame.

Today, I realize that I am the common denominator. Yes, details change, but the pattern is the same. I am setting up these situations of stress for myself.

Why do I do this to myself? I think, given the overall negative emotional experience when it occurs, that this is an example of a Simon the Boxer scenario. I am creating and managing near-helpless, stressful situations with a feeling that everything is at stake.

That was a familiar scenario for me when I was growing up.

I don't want to do this to myself any more, but it feels like too rigid a habit to change easily. Right now, I'm sitting with thousands of words to write tonight and I keep gearing up to write them. I hear a voice, "But I don't want to right now."

As anxiety-provoking as it is, I'm going to listen to that voice and stop writing for a few hours. I might even stop for the night. I consciously don't want to, because I know that if I do, I will be late. But compared to what? Compared to treating my inner voices with contempt? I know how that goes from experience – I don't want to go down that road again.

An Experiment

2009-03-02T10:53:00.002-05:00

One argument that anarchists make – myself included – is that taxation is violent. People get very upset and angry when they hear this claim.

If you do not want to accept that truth, then that is fine – however, there is a scientific approach that you can take in your own life to see if the government is by its very nature a violent institution.

Tax day is coming up in America. It is on April 15th here. The same principles apply if you are not based in America, just with a different date.

If you are going to keep harping on about the fact that taxes are not violent, taxes are voluntary, and that no one will shoot you if you don't pay taxes, then prove it.

Don't pay them.

Completely stop filing your income tax returns for a year, two years, five years, ten years – and let me know how that goes.

You'll probably get a letter. Ignore it. You'll get another letter. Ignore that one too.

They will send you a court summons. Toss it in the garbage.

The police will come knocking on your door. You don't have to answer.

If at any point in this process you decide, "Oh, ok. I'll pay up," then that's fine – but figure out why you decided to pay. Was it out of genuine generosity? Was it a voluntary transaction?

Or were you scared of being sent to jail or even shot if you resisted?

If you try out this experiment, you will find that there is a gun involved.

If you don't try this experiment, then please – stop saying that taxes are not violent.

Chunking

2009-02-28T14:40:00.002-05:00

Today, after looking at the seemingly endless mound of work that is in front of me, I came up with a makeshift system dividing all the articles in my queue into manageable chunks.

Rather than having dozens of articles I need to write in a few days, I now have a few more writing sessions ahead of me. In each of these sessions, I will accomplish a handful of articles.

When I think about it this way, I feel much more motivated to finish this big project. I feel a strong sense of accomplishment every time I finish a "chunk."

It reminds me of the memory lesson that is taught in college-level Psychology 101: humans can really only manage about 7±2 pieces of data at a time, at least in short-term memory. Greater amounts of data must either be stored in long-term memory or "chunked" into concepts.

An endless mound of work is no longer looking at me. Instead, I see a few long sessions of hard work over the next few days. It will be difficult, yes, but also rewarding – and in a greater sense than just the paycheck.

I sometimes think about the mound of goals I want to accomplish over the next ~60 years and I feel confused and overwhelmed. I think it will be useful for me to "chunk" these goals into manageable groups.

I'm learning this as I go along through trial and error. It's very challenging, but also extremely rewarding. I intend to make this stuff more second-nature over the next few months by consistent practice – and constant checkup of my emotional experience.

I'll post my progress as I go onward.

Self-Trust and Creativity

2009-02-27T11:00:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, I posted about recognizing – and accepting – my own limitations. Towards the end of that post, I made a commitment to be more gentle with myself. I had an opportunity to do so last night.

After a conference call with some friends last night, I looked at my daily planner and saw that the next day was going to be very busy. I started to feel pretty anxious when I saw this.

"It's OK," I thought to myself, "I can just stay up until two or three and knock out a lot of that work."

I immediately felt a resistance to doing so deep in my core. Nonetheless, I knew I had work to complete, so I went to the coffee pot and brewed an eleven-o-clock pot of coffee.

I felt even more resistance.

I took a sip of the coffee, sat down at my desk, and opened my to-do list. Then it hit me.

Not twelve hours after writing a blog post about my commitment to be more gentle with myself and to stop treating myself like a slave, I was back to the old habits. In that moment, I said to myself, "OK. Let's just go to bed."

That was a really hard choice to make, and I felt a lot of resistance when I made it – yet relief once my head hit the pillow.

When I was lying in bed, I got a distinct sense that my unconscious mind – my MEcosystem, the bubbling brook of my creativity – trusts me a lot more today than it did yesterday. I also know that if I'm going to be creative, then I absolutely need to earn the trust of my various personalities within me.

Today, I'm feeling the net effects of that. It's far too soon to claim statistical significance, of course, but I feel immensely creative and ready-to-go. I will likely tackle even more of the big project today, after a good night's sleep and with an unconscious that trusts me, than I would have late last night and today combined.

But ultimately, even if I don't write a word more than I would have otherwise, I feel happier.

That's worth it.

Limitations

2009-02-26T14:41:00.008-05:00

For those who are not aware, I am now earning a sustainable income doing freelance writing, and I plan to go full-time very soon. The past few weeks have been a huge learning experience in several spheres of my life. I've learned a lot about writing, a lot about business/marketing, but most of all, I've learned about myself.

There are practical things I am picking up along the way. I bought a planner (and kept the receipt for a tax write-off on my 1099 tax form next year– another thing I am becoming used to), have planned out my week into hour-long chunks, and intend to (roughly) stick to the schedule.

The most difficult adjustment so far, though, has been emotional, not practical. I have been learning to be gentler with myself. I'm my own boss as a freelancer. Since I essentially set my own schedule over the course of a day, I am damn tempted to work 12-hour days, stay up all night drinking coffee, and take on far more than I can handle.

I learned the consequences of that business model (or lack-thereof) earlier this week, when I felt absolutely overwhelmed, having accepted far more projects than I could reasonably handle.

In accepting project after project without thinking about the consequences I would bear a week later, I was not asking myself, "What are your limits? Is this too much? Are you feeling overwhelmed?"

This is not the normal state of human behavior. We do not naturally overwhelm ourselves with too much work.

No. We are taught this type of self-flagellation, a numbness to limits until the deadline comes calling, by parents, teachers, and other caregivers early in life. Because we were never asked about our limits and preferences, but instead had task after task piled onto our list of things to do, the capacity to feel our limitations was shut off. This was inflicted – it was not a choice.

My false self saw my unconscious mind and the various personalities within it – the true source of my creativity – not as a team of partners who could help accomplish the tasks ahead, but rather as slaves to exploit for a cash reward.

How is this any different from State totalitarianism?

My commitment, in taking on this new career path, is to be curious with myself. What do I want to do today? How much do I want to work today? Can I reasonably work that much?

I'm going to attempt to live the anarchy of the self. Rather than being a dictator who orders my unconscious mind around as a group of subjects to be exploited, I will negotiate with myself.

As a result of this commitment, I believe I will be much more productive, much more efficient – but most importantly, much happier.

I will keep you guys posted.

Personal Development and the Argument from Priority

2009-01-25T10:09:00.008-05:00

This morning, I was thinking about my sheer boredom with topics political. Even when the conversation turns political within the philosophy community of which I am a part, I start to feel more than a little bit impatient, and a desire arises within me to steer the conversation towards matters psychological or, at the very least, philosophical. This tendency towards boredom with politics has only grown stronger the more self-aware I have become, and it has become nearly incessant as I've delved full-body into the sea of journaling, meditation, and personal development as a whole.

After talking about this with friends and observing the same tendency within them, I think that there are some clear reasons as to why this is the case. I think this tentative theory also explains why the "argument from priority" can seem so clear and reasonable to those of us who have done some grueling self-work, while the same argument seems so impossible for others to see. I will speak only to my experience, but also with reference to the fact that I think others might also share in this experience – I appreciate feedback, of course.

When I tiptoed into the tide of self-work and self-improvement, I definitely undersimplified the size of the mountain to myself. The size of this mountain, however, was made clear to me quite quickly. When I was on this journey, I made choices which hurt myself and others. The effects of these choices, in my experience, were catalyzing – "I do not want to be this type of person," I remember thinking quite clearly to myself on more than one occasion.

Once I saw not only the size of that mountain, but also the costs – to myself and others – of not climbing it, I began to spend the bulk of my efforts and time working towards the goal of making it to the peak. In my experience, after I spent time in this process fixing the aspects of myself which I knew I did not want in my future, I began to see a clear image of what I did want. This ramped up my self-work even more, as I saw (and see more clearly each day) a clear goal of where I want to be.

This is where the "argument from priority" comes in. I could read economics texts, I could write abstract articles about libertarianism, and I could discuss the Obama inauguration with my friends – and, in moderation, these topics can be nice to read about, write about, and discuss with others. However, as I said to my friend on the phone this morning, "If I don't learn about the Austrian business cycle, I won't die. If I don't do this self-work, though, I will die in a very real way." Further, from the positive standpoint, if I don't learn about sound monetary systems, I won't gain a whole lot – I'll have some trivial knowledge and some intellectual trophies to hang up. However, if I do this self-work daily and take it – and myself – seriously, I will gain sustainable and true happiness.

If that choice doesn't make the argument from priority clear, nothing will.

Those of us who experience the marvels – and difficulties – of self-growth know the argument because we live it. We also know that if we spend our days reading Rothbard and Mises while claiming to hold self-growth as a value, then something is very much amiss. This, to me, explains why the argument from priority is self-evident to those of us doing this work, yet it is so invisible to people who lack self-awareness and do not have a committment to self-improvement.

We're climbing the highest, most grueling – yet also most rewarding – mountain. Abstract treatises can wait.

"Welcome to the New Rules" -- A must-read article.

2009-01-14T14:45:00.002-05:00

My good friend Jake has written a brilliant article called "Welcome to the New Rules" on his blog, Tuttle Wakes Up. This is a must-read article for adult children of difficult families and for new parents alike.

Freedomain Radio Times Online Interview with Tom

2009-01-10T03:23:00.006-05:00

So Stefan Molyneux and Tom, of Freedomain Radio, were interviewed by Tom Whipple of The Times this past week, and the article was published this evening. Here is the link if you would like to read it.

Stef and Tom, however, only gave the interview under the explicit contract that the interview would be linked back in its entirety from the website. Tom Whipple, the reporter, had no problem with this, and so the interview continued. A few minutes before the article came out online, Mr. Whipple e-mailed Stef telling him that the link would not be provided. If you would like to hear the interview in its entirety, here it is.

I have very mixed feelings about the article. I think it's great that, very early on in the article, it is mentioned that Stef says that "adult relationships are voluntary," which is the core principle behind the deFOO – if you do not find your relationship with your parents to be satisfying, and in fact find it to be negative, then you are totally free to leave the relationship.

It's not necessary to go through a point-by-point refutation of the article; this has been done in numerous past articles and it is not worth reinventing the wheel. If you are interested in a refutation of the general points in these articles, then the article by Stefan Molyneux, "How to Escape a 'Controversial Online Community'' - Um...Close Your Browser?" probably has answers to some of these questions.

It is also worth mentioning, for people not familiar with the situation, that a source for several of the articles which portray Freedomain Radio is a website called Liberating Minds (caution, the link contains disturbing language), a vitriolic hate site. This is hardly a source of objective information.

I feel quite angry at the violation of trust Mr. Whipple and The Times exerted. The interview was given under the express condition that the full interview would be available from the website via a hyperlink, so that the context of the interview could be ascertained by readers. They violated this contract.

On the bright side, Tom carried himself magnificently throughout the interview, and he had some great quotes. One that stuck out to me was:

“Love should not be imposed upon a child, like a chore on a ticklist: mow the lawn, wash the dishes, love your parents,”

Brilliant stuff, and so true. There is no rule that we "should" love our parents. Love is earned by being a virtuous, good person. Love is not owed simply by being birthed by someone, much though people try to pretend that is the case (since they have not earned love, they have to bully their children into "loving" them).

Whether you love your parents or not is not up to you at all.

It is up to them to act in a way that provokes the emotion of love from you – involuntarily.

Great work, Tom. You are an inspiration to those of us spreading the truth about voluntarism – that all relationships are voluntary and that love is earned, not owed.

(Footnote: If you are interested in the ideas talked about at Freedomain Radio, specifically the ideas involving personal freedom, please read the books On Truth: The Tyranny of Illusion and Real Time Relationships: The Logic of Love, both available for free in several different formats on Freedomain Radio.)

The long chain of history and the beauty of the moment

2009-01-05T20:17:00.007-05:00

This excerpted audio is from the Freedomain Radio Sunday Call-in Show on January 4th, 2009. This is incredibly moving stuff; if you like this clip, check out the full show here.

The topics are focused, in this speech from Stefan Molyneux, on a) the deep roots of history involved in conflicts; and b) the beauty of the present-day...an admonition to live more presently and to appreciate the beauty and wonder of the moment.

(About 1 hour 50 mins into the show to the end)

What is the meaning of life?

2009-01-04T18:04:00.003-05:00

I might write more of my thoughts on this later, but this series has had an enormous effect on me since watching it. If you are interested in the concept of the meaning of life, then please watch this video series by Stefan Molyneux, MA.

The Meaning of Life

A relevant section from "The Apology" by Plato

2009-01-01T22:34:00.007-05:00

It's really fascinating to me, the similarity of the charges brought against Socrates in Athens and the accusations people have been making against Stef recently. As a point of interest, I've included a relevant section of The Apology by Plato, the dialogue in which Socrates is on trial for a number of "crimes":

Socrates: I have said enough in my defence against the first class of my accusers; I turn to the second class. They are headed by Meletus, that good man and true lover of his country, as he calls himself. Against these, too, I must try to make a defence:—Let their affidavit be read: it contains something of this kind: It says that Socrates is a doer of evil, who corrupts the youth; and who does not believe in the gods of the state, but has other new divinities of his own. Such is the charge; and now let us examine the particular counts. He says that I am a doer of evil, and corrupt the youth; but I say, O men of Athens, that Meletus is a doer of evil, in that he pretends to be in earnest when he is only in jest, and is so eager to bring men to trial from a pretended zeal and interest about matters in which he really never had the smallest interest. And the truth of this I will endeavour to prove to you.
Come hither, Meletus, and let me ask a question of you. You think a great deal about the improvement of youth?

Meletus: Yes, I do.

S: Tell the judges, then, who is their improver; for you must know, as you have taken the pains to discover their corrupter, and are citing and accusing me before them. Speak, then, and tell the judges who their improver is.—Observe, Meletus, that you are silent, and have nothing to say. But is not this rather disgraceful, and a very considerable proof of what I was saying, that you have no interest in the matter? Speak up, friend, and tell us who their improver is.

M: The laws.

S: But that, my good sir, is not my meaning. I want to know who the person is, who, in the first place, knows the laws.

M: The judges, Socrates, who are present in court.

S: What, do you mean to say, Meletus, that they are able to instruct and improve youth?

M: Certainly they are.

S: What, all of them, or some only and not others?

M: All of them.

S: By the goddess Here, that is good news! There are plenty of improvers, then. And what do you say of the audience,—do they improve them?

M: Yes, they do.

S: And the senators?

M: Yes, the senators improve them.

S: But perhaps the members of the assembly corrupt them?—or do they too improve them?

M: They improve them.

S: Then every Athenian improves and elevates them; all with the exception of myself; and I alone am their corrupter? Is that what you affirm?

M: That is what I stoutly affirm.
S: I am very unfortunate if you are right. But suppose I ask you a question: How about horses? Does one man do them harm and all the world good? Is not the exact opposite the truth? One man is able to do them good, or at least not many;—the trainer of horses, that is to say, does them good, and others who have to do with them rather injure them? Is not that true, Meletus, of horses, or of any other animals? Most assuredly it is; whether you and Anytus say yes or no. Happy indeed would be the condition of youth if they had one corrupter only, and all the rest of the world were their improvers. But you, Meletus, have sufficiently shown that you never had a thought about the young: your carelessness is seen in your not caring about the very things which you bring against me.

It is totally amazing to me that it is ~2,400 years later, and philosophers are still being accused of the same charges: corruption of the youth. And, just as with Socrates, Stef's accusers are claiming that it is solely due to his teaching of philosophy that the youth have mysteriously "decided" to leave their parents. Zero responsibility lies with the families or with society – it is all the philosopher's fault, say the Meletus' of the world.

2,400 years later, Socrates will prevail over Meletus.

Philosophy will prevail over mythology.

A Freedomain Radio Media Response from Stefan Molyneux

2008-12-30T19:41:00.004-05:00

As you may be aware, Stefan Molyneux, the host of Freedomain Radio, has received significant media attention recently in such publications as The Guardian, The Globe & Mail, The Times, Sky News, and The Sun. The basic premise of all of these articles is the same: Stefan Molyneux made a young adult leave his family through an internet cult, which suggests that everyone deFOO, or leave his or her family of origin. The same mother, Barbara Weed, is the aggrieved parent in all of these publications.

Stefan Molyneux was recently asked for another such interview; here is his response, which is worth quoting on this blog:

Thank you for your e-mail, but I am not going to participate in any show with Mrs. Weed. I consider it reprehensible that she is openly broadcasting her son's identity as widely as possible, and that she is blaming some podcaster on another continent for the very sad problems within her family, rather than the significant and terrifying abuse that her son suffered for 18 years at the hands of his parents. As I am sure you have heard in the podcast in question, Tom sobs openly about the terror he experienced in the face of his father's rages, when the enormous man would kick and smash in windows, hurl objects and destroy entire rooms with horrifying rapidity. Mrs. Weed did not protect her helpless and dependent child during these extended and highly dangerous explosions.

Of course, Mrs. Weed dismisses and minimizes the brutality of this continual violence, which is the true source of this continuing tragedy -- the reality, though, is that Tom would have no incentive to invent such an awful tale, and no ability to spontaneously erupt into such painful emotions after asking for my help.

I fully stand by my philosophical and moral positions, which is that child abuse is immoral, and adult relations are voluntary. If child abuse is not immoral, then there is no such thing as immorality -- and if adult relations are not voluntary, then we should ban divorce, and force even those wives suffering from violent abuse to remain with their husbands until the end of their days.

It is also important to remember that out of the 35,000-50,000 Freedomain Radio listeners, only about 20 have taken breaks from abusive families, which is far below the statistical average for child abuse. I do not tell listeners to leave even highly abusive families, but rather strongly encourage them to seek out professional psychological help to deal with these tragic issues.

There are a number of parents and adult children who listen to the show together, which I think is wonderful. Many families, friends and couples have also used the philosophical resources of Freedomain Radio to help build better and closer relationships, which I am very pleased about.

Finally, I am very pro-family myself - my wonderful wife and I just welcomed our first child into the world. I am fully aware that I will need to continue to win and maintain the love of my daughter by keeping her safe, happy and secure.

The sole source for these slanderous articles about my website and show has been a little forum called Liberating Minds, where Barbara Weed and a few other abusive parents post. For some examples of the kind of thinking and communicating that goes on at this site, you might want to check out the link below - warning, the language is extremely offensive.

http://www.freedomainradio.com/liberating_minds.html

Regards,

Stefan Molyneux, MA

Host, Freedomain Radio

www.freedomainradio.com

My Motivations re: the Latest Article

2008-12-27T13:18:00.016-05:00

I feel pretty vulnerable writing this post, but I think it is important to share my experience.

After posting the article I wrote on religion yesterday, I felt an absolute full-body terror, such that I started to dissociate (for the first time in months) at work, and now I feel deep, rich sadness. I have some thoughts as to why this might be the case, and some thoughts on my own behavior in posting the article.

When someone posted about the innocuous nature of religion in the thread "Lew Rockwell and Christianity," I felt incredibly angry, having experienced child abuse under the guise of religion in many different forms. I just knew it wasn't the case that religion was fairly tame, so I simply pointed this out in the thread.

However, that night and the following morning, I was re-experiencing in my own mind the significant amount of abuse both directly and indirectly caused by/allowed by religion, and I wrote the article which condemns economists for not focusing on child abuse, when they focus on many other hidden costs. A good chunk of that article dealt with the abstract notion that religion is child abuse, whereas in my own mind, I was talking about the abuse that I personally suffered.

I wasn't primarily angry at economists for ignoring religious abuse.

I was angry at people in my childhood for ignoring the abuse and the obvious effects of the abuse in my behavior.

I did not discuss my feelings; rather, I made it abstract, and I feel enormously sad about this action.

I will not self-attack, so I do see some positive in this: this is one of the fastest turnarounds I have made with regards to realizing why it is that I have done something after not RTR-ing in the moment. But that's not quite enough.

This process of self-growth really does often feel like one step forward, two steps backward. But, as my friend pointed out...backward compared to what? I am certain that a post-mortem introspection like this would have been impossible for me a year ago...for this, I feel a little happier and a little more in-touch with myself.

This is a big step for me, I think, and I'm going to relish that while I explore the deep sadness I'm feeling right now – a sadness I feel for my inner child. I feel much more genuine today than I felt yesterday, and I like that...

A Very Telling Silence

2008-12-27T00:40:00.003-05:00

I am withholding this article for now, and I have written about my experience of writing it in a post-mortem here.

What do my friends want of me? (questions worth asking, pt. 2)

2008-12-22T13:42:00.000-05:00

In response to the entry I wrote last night, I was thinking more consciously of the first question I wrote: "What will my friends think of what I am doing in this moment?" This led me to a second question, of "What do my friends want of me?" This question is one I've struggled with for a long time, given my history of managing others' expectations of me in impossible situations.

The question, "What do my friends want of me?" is especially poignant for me as I begin to see friends I haven't seen for months over the next few days. The last thing I want to do is to manage what I think others want of me.

I have, unfortunately, done that in the past. I have thought, "I'm at this party, and I'm expected to be happy and ebullient." This process is extremely tiring and frustrating, and I don't feel rich and deep after managing those expectations.

There's a temptation, one that has its origins in my past, to force myself from the "bad" emotions as they arise, especially in the presence of others. This behavior is not something my future wife and children would be proud of; it is not behavior my inner child would be proud of; and it especially is not behavior I would be proud of.

And it's not something my friends would be proud of.

It's not what my friends want of me.

No, what my friends – the virtuous friends that I cherish – want of me is to be...me. My friends want me to be genuine with what I am feeling and to express that with them. If I'm feeling somber, then being genuine with that somber feeling is what my friends want of me. The last thing in the world they would want me to do is to pretend not to be somber.

It's my commitment (especially to those I will be seeing/talking to over the next few days) to be genuine with myself and, through being genuine with myself, with you guys. I'm feeling this more than ever before over the past 24-hours.

And man, does this feel good.

Some questions worth asking

2008-12-21T21:27:00.006-05:00

I had a pretty emotional day, still processing a lot of the emotions around the birth of Isabella...I feel absolutely fantastic and full of joy for the birth – there's a richness I feel that is very new and unfamiliar to me. I absolutely cannot wait to meet Isabella and learn more about her. I just had a few thoughts I wanted to jot down for the evening:

Some things Stef said on the call-in have inspired some questions to ask myself along with "How am I feeling right now?" and, "What does my MEcosystem have to say?"

These questions are all related, and they are:

"Will my friends be proud of what I am doing in this moment?"

"Is my inner child proud of what I am doing in this moment?"

"Will my future wife be proud of what I am doing in this moment?"

"Will my future child/children be proud of what I am doing in this moment?"

And the last one, which ties all of the previous ones together:

"Am I proud of what I am doing in this moment?"

My goal over the next week is to make these questions more and more conscious throughout the course of my day, constantly checking up – in my mind and in my soul – on my friends, my inner child, my future wife, my future children, and ultimately, myself regarding my actions. The purpose is to synthesize the values that I hold in a way that makes them more natural.

Innocence and beauty

2008-12-20T11:54:00.010-05:00

Welcome to the world, Isabella!

Hearing the news about Stef and Christina's newborn baby brought me tears of joy when I read it upon awakening. I felt so thrilled for Isabella, Stef, Christina, and for the world. I still tear up when I think about it – the innocent beauty that has entered this world.

This innocence, this beauty – this perfection – is the world we are creating. The work we do today, though difficult, brings us one step closer to a world that is innocent and pure just as a baby is.

I remember Stef being asked, "...What do you think it would be like to see a child who has been raised with positive reinforcement for accurate core beliefs? What will we see [with] the first generation of FDR babies?"

Stef's response was, "Well, I think the first thing we're going to see is that the kids who are raised philosophically are going to require evidence and reason. I think the most core thing that's going to happen is that they're going to require evidence and reason and they're going to trust their own instincts. And so when you try to snow(?) a kid like that, they're going to say, 'I'm sorry, I don't see the proof.' They can be polite about it – they can be nice about it. They can say, 'I'm sorry, I don't quite get how this is proven. Perhaps you can explain it to me further?' And then they'll drive everyone away. They will have an instinctual and rational relationship with reality..."

The beauty in imagining a child like that, in tune with her instincts and totally rational, without the honesty being frightened out of her, is one of the most beautiful images I can imagine. I totally tear up thinking about it, and it brings up incredible feelings of joy and happiness within me for the Molyneux family.

Isn't that description of philosophically raised children also a description of the world that we are creating? The world that we are working every day to create through our own honesty, vulnerability, and courage with each other? The work of self-improvement and growth is hard, to be sure, but it would be even harder to turn back to a life of boring, reactive dullness.

We're getting out of our wheelchairs in order to raise incredibly graceful, beautiful dancers.

Yes, we're doing this self-work and self-improvement for ourselves...but we're also doing it for the future – for the philosophical children of the future and the wounded children of today alike.

Music and Self-Growth

2008-12-18T21:28:00.006-05:00

As someone whose plan was to go to music college, get a degree, and compose music, music has always been and will always be a hugely important part of my life, even if it is not my career path (as is certain to be the case). Rather than being something that is created by me through improvisations and compositions, however, music's primary role in my life is now cathartic – I listen to music to accent my emotional state, allowing me to feel more richly and deeply.

Am I in an upbeat, happy mood? Then I flip on Mika's "Grace Kelly" and feel like bouncing around. Is my mood somber and introspective? Then I toss on Rachmaninoff's 2nd Piano Concerto. What if I am reminiscing about the past and want to feel the wistful emotions that are coming up? Iron & Wine's "The Trapeze Swinger" does the trick.

I can map my musical tastes' progression along my life in a logical way, as well. The music I listen to throughout my life fits the stage of my life and my emotional state, more often than not. For example, when I was in a dark, depressive, nihilistic state of mind in 2006, I listened to (believe it or not, for those who know my music tastes now) heavy metal...and by heavy metal, I mean heavy metal, replete with growling and black album covers. My outward appearance did not fit this genre – in other words, I was not dressing the part, and most of my friends were shocked to see some of this music in my collection. In retrospect, however, it makes perfect sense; it reflected my state of mind at the time.

Now, however, as I have been relaxing into myself more and more, I have been listening to more and more soft, gentle, acoustic music, such as the aforementioned Iron & Wine, Fleet Foxes, and Sigur Rós. This, when I think about it, makes a lot of sense, as well; I have been in a relaxed state of mind, especially over the past week.

Why is all of this coming up for me now? Why am I writing about music and not about another, possibly more relevant topic?

I have been reading a lot of literature on dream interpretation, as I have been having very vivid dreams lately, and I have been wanting to learn more about them. A thought that has come up in past conversations has been coming up the more I read about symbolism and the unconscious: songs that are "stuck in our head" can often tell us much about our emotional state, just as dreams can unlock certain keys when analyzed.

Just as I find dream interpretation completely fascinating, I also draw inspiration from examining the lyrics that float through my head; more often than not, there is a subconscious message being communicated to me, if only I would listen. The results of analyzing "stuck songs" are uncannily accurate, at least in my experience.

The song that's been in my head the past few weeks?

Four, three, two, one,
I'm letting you go
I will let go
If you will let go

-- Ben Folds, "Cologne"

This song was in my head shortly before I started meditating with my inner child, and it really prefaced some huge growth in me (back in October), and it's come back again. I think something big is coming up in my internal life, but I don't exactly know what that thing is...

I'll wait.