Tragic Chain Reaction

Idol Time Is Here Again

2012-01-21T20:53:00.000-05:00

From AmericanIdol.com

Well, it's that time again. American Idol is back.

Every year I say I'm not going to watch. I say I don't want to see it and I don't care. But then I cave and find myself watching the first ep. It's definitely an illness.

I don't really pay too much attention to the early people because they come and go so quickly. Plus, I get attached and then its painful when they are cut. There were a couple of people who stood out, but I refuse to acknowledge them until we at least get to Hollywood week.

Although, I did notice and remember the chick who lives in a tent in the woods with her boyfriend, cause they were talking about her inspiring story and my husband said: "What is inspiring about living in a tent? That just makes you a loser." She seemed pretty laid back, but then I guess you have to be to live in a tent. My idea of camping is leaving the windows open at the Ritz Carlton. There is absolutely no way on earth I could live in a tent. Or even sleep outside for one night.

Anyway, back to Idol. There did seem to be less making fun of people who suck, which is probably a good thing, cause that was getting old.

Besides, I'll be here to make fun of people without their help.

Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year

2011-12-25T00:00:00.002-05:00

Being in Sync

2011-12-17T09:50:00.001-05:00

I had to help my husband set up his second gmail account with his phone.

ME: OK, it's set up and it's syncing.

HIM: Sinking in what? What's sinking?

ME: The phone is syncing.

HIM: What? A boat is sinking?

ME: No! Syncing, not sinking. Syncing.

HIM: I don't get it.

Distracted Driving or Ordinary Life?

2011-12-15T08:16:00.002-05:00

I read an article yesterday morning about a Federal investigation on cell phone use in cars that is recommending more state-wide bans on the use of electronic devices while driving. Not just hand held use, all use. Of course, we have that where I live, cause this is New York (the "we like to take away ALL of your liberties State") and they put such a ban into effect already. (We were also among the first to institute helmet laws and mandatory seat belt use. My wearing or not wearing a seat belt only concerns my safety, so why do they even care? I mean, maybe I WANT to get thrown out of the car and die by smashing my head on the pavement. What's it to you, bud??)

I found this article interesting, because several years ago when cell phone use really became more popular and they first decided that we could not use our hands, but needed some sort of additional hands-free mechanism to use our phones, I cried foul. For one thing, I'm pretty sure that was all just a stunt by cell-phone lobbyists to get us to all buy even more junk with our phones. Added to that, I always contended that it was the actual use of the phone, that is the carrying on of a conversation that's distracting. I mean once you dial that part is complete and you're just talking. The same way you'd chat with someone sitting in the car next to you.

So I thought if they are going to stop us from talking on our cell phones, they should probably also discourage having any additional people in the car with us. Cause, honestly, is there anything more distracting than a 2-yr old throwing McDonald's french fries at the back of your head while you're driving? Clearly the kids have got to go, along with any other passengers. Also, the radio is a distraction, what if you're singing along and not concentrating on where you're going? And then smoking should be banned, too, cause it's not hands free.

What about all those controls we have to operate which cause us to remove our hands from the wheel, like opening and closing windows or windshield wipers or turning on the lights. Of course, cars these days do have daytime running lights, so I guess they took care of that one.

Also, what about my GPS, cause it's in my phone and if I'm gonna find my way around, I'm absolutely going to need to touch my phone. Of course, I could just unfold a huge road map and hold it in front of me, kinda propped on the wheel, while I'm driving. Cause that's safe.

Look, what I'm saying here is that, yes, cell phones are distracting when you drive, but so is life. Some people can handle it, some can't. There was also a story yesterday about a police office in Florida who ran his car up a pole because he looked down to pick up a dropped pen. As far as I know, there is no evidence his cell phone was even on at the time.

These things happen. People, in general, need to be more careful, but I'm not sure that cell phone use alone is the main reason for most car accidents.

I'm just saying.

My Life As a Teenage Geek

2011-11-29T15:49:00.000-05:00

So we moved, right? Well, I'm still sorting out boxes and stuff, naturally, and the other day the shelf in our closet, which I had clearly overloaded, tilted and this box I hadn't looked at yet - or actually hadn't looked at in about 30 years and which had been sitting on the top of our other closet since we built that addition in 1996 - tumbled down, spilling several large expansion folders. You know the kind, like lawyers use.

I had to be sure to tell my husband that those should not have been in the bedroom closet in the first place, since they belonged in the office. I wasn't exactly sure what was in them, but it looked like papers and stuff, which obviously should go in an office. So it was clearly his fault. Clearly. Am I right?

Anyway, he dumped them all on the long table in the office and I decided to go through them before putting them away in that closet. This may or may not have been a mistake.

They contained my life. Seriously, my entire life was in there. At least the teenage part of it.

There were notebooks full of my scribbles, stories, plays, and notes; random news clippings; construction paper pages with pics of hot guys of the times pasted to them (these were in my locker and I'm not naming any names, but Tim Hutton just may have been in there); song lyrics; my high school diploma; poems; term papers; and just so many memories.

There were even pages in which I had clipped out and pasted parts from the TV Guide about movies I watched. Everything was all neatly cataloged and dated. So I was clearly an organized insane person. My husband was amazed cause he was a high school jock and apparently I was always a geek girl.

I can't even imagine having the time to do stuff like that now, and then I remember that I have a spreadsheet to keep track of what shows I watch and I realize that I haven't changed all that much over the years.

I had to just shove it all back into the folders and stick them up on the shelf in the office closet, or I would have spent the rest of the day and probably several days afterwards just going through it all and re-living my glory days of being a geeky teen-aged freak.

At some point, I definitely plan to go back through all that stuff and maybe even read over some of those stories to see if they are worth re-working and finishing. Maybe my great american novel is in there somewhere.

I'm Not Any Percentage

2011-11-16T10:14:00.000-05:00

I think I know myself pretty well. I’m under no illusions about who I am. Other people may be, but I know myself enough to be honest about me. I’m selfish, shallow and pretty much self-involved.

A friend once told me that she appreciated how I never had anything bad to say about other people, that I wasn’t a gossip. I responded, it’s cause I don’t care about anyone else. Hey, it's only the truth. That’s why you can also share your secrets with me and I won’t tell. I won’t even remember them within half an hour, cause I’m probably not even listening to what you tell me.

This frustrates my poor husband, who doesn’t understand why I’m apparently so proud that I’m a jerk. It’s not that, it’s just that I realize people don’t really change. Not deep down, not that much. This is who I am. Maybe I’m selfish, but I’m a good cook and I’m smart. And being selfish about some things doesn’t necessarily make me selfish about everything.

For instance, if we’re both sitting, all comfy, wrapped in blankets and watching a movie, or whatever, and I ask my husband to do something for me, it turns into a fight. He’s not going to get up and kill that spider or get me something to drink or whatever. Even though he knows I can’t exist in the same room with a spider, dead or alive. He knows I’m going to start whining about it, but he just won’t get up and deal. On the other hand, if he asks me to go get him something, or even if he doesn’t ask, if he just realizes he needs a cough drop or hot chocolate or something, I’ll get up and go get it. I just will. I like him and I have no problem missing part of the movie or whatever, to do something for him.

Of course, if I point this out, then I’ve ruined it. He needs to realize this for himself. But he never will. He’s a guy.

I think that’s a major issue for me. I figure things out, I process information quickly. So sometimes, I want to tell people stuff that I should let them figure out on their own. But I’m too impatient to wait for them to catch up with me. Did I also mention that along with being selfish and shallow, I’m also impatient and a tad bit arrogant. Or maybe I’m just a snob, which is kinda like being arrogant, but not quite.

It’s the area I grew up in. We’re all snobs. Sort of like attorneys, who are given that little extra thing when they go through law school, some little gene, that makes them a little bit better than all the rest of us. Either they get it in law school or they’re born with it and it’s what makes them want to be lawyers in the first place. I’ve never been able to work that one out to my satisfaction.

But, in any case, it’s like that where I grew up. We’re from a slightly-higher-than-middle-class income area and it’s been around for a while, it’s old money, if you know what I mean. We’re not nouveau riche. (Of course, I'm not any kind of rich, but that's beside the point here.)

Those types of things, the little class distinctions that I’m apt to make, are just cause of where I grew up. We still believe in a caste system. I’m almost not even kidding.

It makes my husband crazy, but that’s just he’s not from Williamsville. Seriously. If he was, he’d understand, but he grew up in Cheektowaga.

So you can see what I mean, right?

Toni's Blogging Tip No. 1

2011-11-04T14:42:00.000-04:00

I follow a lot of blogs.

I faithfully put them all in my Google Reader, pressing that little RSS button even though I have no idea what RSS means. I tried to explain this to my husband, so he could get all the news he wants delivered to his phone, but all he cared about was what RSS meant.

Seriously?

Who cares? I know what it does and that's the important part. (And if you know what it does, too, you should click on my little RSS thingy so that my posts are delivered to your phone, too!)

Look, I know the reason I only update 2-3 times a month isn't cause I'm trying to be nice, it's cause i'm lazy.

But some people, and I have to be honest here, they just update too darn much.

Please, do us all a favor and don't update every single day. No one wants to read that much about you.

I'm just being helpful.

Happy To Be Stuck With My Own Number

2011-10-26T18:34:00.000-04:00

So the other day I was listening to the 80's station on our Sirius radio, cause it's pretty much the only station I ever listen to. Sue me, I'm stuck in the 80's.

Anyway, it's Huey Lewis and The News' Happy to Be Stuck With You, and I'm singing along, cause why wouldn't I be, and so I'm singing "We are bound by all the rest, like the same phone number, all the same friends and the same address" and I realized something.

Even if we're all stuck with each other, hardly any one I know just has one home phone number any more. Most people actually have their own cell phone and hence their own number.

Maybe we're not as bound to each other as we used to be.

To NaNo or Not to NaNo

2011-10-23T19:22:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking about joining NaNoWriMo again this year.

I did it last year and the stuff I was writing wasn't bad, but it wasn't really an actual novel. It was more like a really long blog post, or maybe what they're calling a memoir these days, I guess. It was based on all the things I hate.

And since I hate pretty much everything and everyone, I figured that would give me lots to say. Not so much. I mean, once you say you hate everyone, what else is left?

But I've been contemplating adding to what I started last year. Some of it wasn't half bad and if I just added more, maybe I could edit it a bit and come up with something.

We will be moving a couple of days before, so that could either be a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe being in a new setting will help me become more inspired or maybe I'll just be too busy setting up my new house so everything is ready for the holidays.

I don't know.

But I have been thinking about joining NaNoWriMo again this year.

Finally, Some Good News

2011-10-19T20:51:00.000-04:00

I've promised exciting news and here it is. Only I have to tell you a little story first. Or actually kind of a long story. Also, keep in mind that this news may only be exciting if you're me.

I've lived in my house for 45 years. I was born and grew up here, then moved back in only two years after I had got married and moved out. It has 5 bedrooms (well, technically 4 bedrooms and an office) and three full bathrooms, as well as a huge eat in kitchen, living room, dining room and upstairs sitting room. Also a three car attached garage with a 14x12 foyer between it and the kitchen with a 10x12 walk in closet/pantry behind the foyer. In other words, it's huge. The yard isn't gigantic, about half an acre, but big enough.

We just recently upgraded the kitchen with all stainless steel appliances and Corian counter tops. It's big and bright with white cupboards and yellow walls and a huge picture window with a window seat.

We love this house.

But here's the thing. It's too much for us. I'm lazy and I don't feel like dealing with all this space, cleaning and maintaining it, including the yard. We've always talked about downgrading, selling this house someday to one of my nephews, so the house - my parent's house - can stay in the family. Especially since another one of my nephews actually lives in the house directly behind ours.

So then there's the story of my nephew, his wife and their two kids. See, they put their house on the market last year, getting ready to move into something larger and closer to everyone else, but it sold so quickly, they had to move into this tiny apartment right away. They thought they would only be there a short time, but it's been a year and they need to move, except they haven't found a house they want.

Turns out it's cause my nephew wants this house.

So although this is sooner than we planned, we're moving! We've found this great brand new model home that we are buying and moving into at the end of the end of the month.

I'm super excited about it and I can't wait to have my own place. This is also giving us a chance to clean up our lives, get rid of all the unnecessary stuff that we've been holding on to for no reason just cause our house is so huge now. The new place is a nice size and it has lots of storage, but we want to make sure we don't get it all cluttered like our present house has become.

So here are a few videos I took of the place right before we move all our stuff in.

This is walking in the front door, looking at the living room, dining room and then around into the master bedroom, the master bathroom and the closet:

This one is the master bathroom:

This one is around the kitchen and then towards the dining room and the laundry room and the side door:

Once it's all set up, I'll share more pics.

Ch-Ch-Changes

2011-10-14T07:35:00.001-04:00

Did you ever have that feeling that things weren't going to be right for a long, long time?

Everything that's happened over the last few months has made me feel extremely depressed, but even so I've been trying to move past it. You know, just deal with it and keep a smiley face.

I'm sort of a fatalist, I guess. Or maybe that's not really the correct term, cause it's not that I think things can't be changed or that everything is predetermined. It's just that I always feel like things are going to work out the way they should. Usually they do.

But I'm also a worrier. I know that those two concepts seem to be the antithesis of each other. And yet.

So even though right now things seem to be working out just the way they should, I'm still waking up with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, not able to eat breakfast. (Believe me, it's very rare that I'm not able to eat.) But then I have this wild mood swing to the other side and I feel super excited and deliriously happy.

Then I'm worried we're making a mistake. Then I'm thrilled that we're getting this chance and that it worked out so well for us. Then I panic again for a while.

I'm a huge proponent of change. I think it's good to change things up on a regular basis. Although, I'm not one of those people who change their furniture around all the time or whatever. I just get bored easily and I'm looking for something new and interesting. Maybe all the depression lately is why I felt the need for a dramatic change in my life now.

Anyway, I think we've found it. The change we need right now to make things better and new.

I promise to tell you all about it. Soon.

Memories from an October Past

2011-10-12T06:00:00.004-04:00

Five years ago today, on Thursday, October 12, 2006, it snowed. Here is the story of that time from a post on my lj dated October 27, 2006, at 5:50 pm, which was about an hour after our power finally went back on.

Surprise!

I still don’t have my cable back. They are calling it the October Surprise Storm.

Thursday, October 12, 2006. It seemed like a normal day, except that after lunch, while I was headed back to work, it started sleeting a bit. About an hour later when I looked out the window it was snowing in earnest. I left work at 4:30 and the weather was not good, icy, snowy, sleety. Laura came over for dinner and couldn’t leave for two days.

The power went out around 7 pm, just as we were starting to watch Silverado. It didn’t come back on for more than a week. The first night we giggled a lot at how ridiculous it was that the first time Laura and I could get together for ages and now this happened! We put a fire in the fireplace, got out the candles and the oil lamps and sat under blankets in the living room reading Edgar Allen Poe (who, by the way, isn’t really as scary as I remember him to be. What’s that about I wonder?) About 10:30 that night, we ran out to move the cars before they were crushed under the falling tree limbs. It was a bit frightening, cause the limbs were crashing around us as we wiped off the cars and moved them as close to the garage and as far from the tree branches as we could.

Jeff called from Jamestown at 11 pm and I told him to get a hotel. He almost didn’t believe me.

I joked to mom and Laura that we should get in the car and drive out of the storm to a hotel. Where, they asked. I said, how about Florida.

The next day was less fun. We woke up to about 2 feet of snow and all the trees and bushes seemed to be flat on the ground. Huge limbs were torn off the willow tree next door and the driveway was buried. Moving the cars had been a good idea, too, or they would have been crushed. We hung up curtains around the staircase to keep the warm air from rising upstairs.

All that day we sat huddled under our blankets, feeding the fire and reading. We had tuna sandwiches for lunch. Laura’s cell phone died and our phone lines went dead. My cell had a very intermittent signal. We were feeling very sad and cut off. We did try to move the tree limbs in the driveway, but they were so heavy, with all the leaves weighted down with wet icy snow, we could barely budge them. Laura dug her car out, but it didn’t look like she could go anywhere for a while.

They told us not the drink the water without boiling first. It’s hard to boil water without electricity. I tried holding my hand over it and saying abracadabra, but it didn’t work.

That night I slept on the couch.

Saturday some of the snow started to melt, but the branches were still heavy. Around noon, we were visited by angels bearing treats from Tim Horton’s and the boys came to dig us out. Laura left about an hour later. If I could have, I’d have gone with her.

So now here we are, no lights, no heat, no water, no phones. No will to live! Jeff finally got home that afternoon. Poor boy had been working and sleeping in the same clothes for two days. I went with him to tour the neighborhood and almost wished I hadn’t cause it looked so sad. I took pictures. Jeff hung up sheets between the living room and dining room to hold in the warmth from the fire.

Sunday, Jeff started cleaning up the yard. Mom and I went to Mandi’s to do laundry.

By Monday, people starting getting their power back. We had a pole down in the backyard. When I called the power company, they told me we would have ours back, maybe, by next Sunday!! Jeff had to go back to Jamestown and he left the house at 5 am and didn’t get home until 9:30 pm. Our phones came back on around 1 pm. I went to work for about an hour to get some files and then just worked from home, since there was no power at work.

Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday passed about the same way. Debbie and John lent us their generator. Jeff was working in Newfane, about an hour away, in a building with no roof, in the rain. He was pretty miserable, coming home every night to a dark cold house when he was wet and cold all day. I don’t recommend cooking with sterno.

Wednesday the wood ran out so Jeff and I drove to West Seneca when he got home from work to get some from our wood guy, who couldn’t deliver because he is also a tree guy and obviously pretty busy. That night we went out to dinner. When we came home it was pitch black and poor Bambi was terrified. For the next two days, she wouldn’t let us out of her sight.

And then that wood must have been sitting in the rain for a while, because it wouldn’t light. Other than that, Wednesday night was better because Jeff hooked up some lights to the generator and the TV in the living room. All we could get was channel 7, but at least I got to see Lost!

Thursday afternoon the power went back on at work and they called me to go in on Friday. Also, the oil needed to be changed in the generator. I said I would do it. Jeff was tired and mad. He came home, showered and ate, and went to bed. Then got out of bed to change the oil. In the dark and the cold and the rain, lying on the garage floor, he drained the oil. Somehow, he managed to drop a washer into the oil pan. Bye-bye generator. He went back to bed. Mom and I read by oil lamp with our smoky fire.

The power guys showed up and were working in our back yard on the broken pole. We could see their lights through the curtains as we read.

I went in to work very angry and miserable, in a jean skirt, sneakers and one of Jeff’s hoodies. Everyone else’s power had come on, most of them since Saturday. I hated them all! I stayed all morning, then went home to help mom cook lunch and get the fire working again. I was gone for two hours. I went back for a little while and then I left again. No one said a word. I think they were all scared of me.

I was pretty sure I couldn’t take another day of it. I was feeling very suicidal. Jeff was miserable, mom was having chest pains.

When I came home from work my driveway was blocked by power company trucks!!! Jeff came home and was in the shower. Mom and I were sitting and reading. At 4:40 pm, the power came back on!!!!! Mom blew kisses to the men out the front door. I ran upstairs and started flashing the lights on Jeff in the shower. Everyone felt better immediately.

Our back yard is pretty ripped up from the men walking and standing around.

Also, just for fun, our power went out again on Wednesday for a while.

And, as I said, we still don’t have our cable back on. They tell me it will be sometime between now and never.

See more pictures.

The X Factor

2011-10-08T22:43:00.000-04:00

I've been watching The X Factor. Not because I thought my life was missing a reality karaoke competition, but because in some unexplainable way, I felt like I owed it to Simon and Paula.

Cause, you know, we're buds.

It's become increasingly apparent to me that I watch way too much TV and the fact that I can even think that pretty much proves it.

So anyway, The X Factor. I'm not sure if I like it. I've been dealing with the auditions, but so far I'm not thrilled with anything about AI2.0. Except that I still love Simon. I just wish he was being more like himself. He's been far too easy on the losers. Added to that, Paula is definitely on her meds. I'm hoping that all changes when we get to the real competition part of this competition.

Also, I'm unclear about why they replaced Cheryl Cole, who I had heard of and who had a super fun northern British accent, with some other chick, that I've never heard of and who has an annoying squeaky baby voice. If Cheryl's accent was the issue, then why keep the broad and sometimes hard to understand Welsh accent of the announcer guy. I'm guessing he has a name, but he's not Ryan Seacrest, so I don't care.

Probably the one other thing that really bothers me is that they feel its necessary to take up two hours of my life, twice a week. I'm not saying that I have lots of other stuff to do or anything, but I might want to take up a hobby at some point, and how will I do that if I'm busy watching hours and hours of terrible reality TV?

Just How Professional Are You?

2011-10-05T17:27:00.001-04:00

I was talking to a friend the other day. She's trying to find a new assistant and she's been drowning in resumes from an ad on Craigslist. I know the feeling. When I was recruiting full-time, it was insane. So many people looking for jobs and not taking into consideration whether or not they are actually capable of performing the jobs they apply for.

Trust me, people, this is important. If you can't do the job or if you are just incredibly overqualified, you are wasting someone's time. And they won't like you better for it.

Anyway, she was telling me about one particular person who she interviewed and I could feel her pain. Once my friend - changing her name to protect the innocent, she can be....Sally - had called and screened a few people and determined who she wanted to personally interview, she decided to put the ball in the applicants' court by sending out an email and asking them to call her back. In her email, she gave some times to call her, including a specific time frame of about an hour when she could not be called. This particular applicant, we'll call her Jane, chose to call in that exact time period and then said, "oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see that." Already, she's proven that she has no attention to detail.

The next nail in her coffin was when she went to the interview. She was given an address, 100 This Street, and also given directions; if you miss the turn onto This Street, you can also turn onto That Way, which loops back around. So at about the time of the interview, Sally gets a call from Jane, "There is no 100 That Way. Are you trying to scam me?"

Um...no, you're just stupid. I don't think Sally said that, but I probably would have.

Once she got to the interview - late when she was told beforehand that punctuality was a key component for the position - she handed over her resume. With a typo. She listed herself as a "professional administrative assistant" and left the second O out of professional. So she was a "professinal administrative assistant."

I'd like to say I'm surprised, but honestly I'm not. I've seen too many people just like that.

I'm guessing that, like so many I've seen, she's happy on her extended unemployment. She has to keep interviewing, but she doesn't really want a job.

Or maybe she's just really, really stupid.

Bad Energy

2011-10-01T21:29:00.000-04:00

So tonight, around 6:30. I'm just getting dinner on the table and the phone rings.

I'll be really honest. Normally, I don't answer my phone. It's just that I spend all day on the phone so I don't feel like dealing with it when I'm not working. If you want to text me, I can handle that. Otherwise, not so much.

Anyway, I was talking and cooking and I guess I was distracted, cause even though I didn't recognize the number, I answered.

It was a chick doing a survey about energy...something or other. Since I'm a generally nice person and I don't wish to be rude to a complete stranger on the phone, added to which I cold call people for a living, I chose to not just immediately hang up on her. She didn't ask me if it was a good time, probably because 6:30 on a Saturday night is pretty clearly not a good time, but just launched right into her little spiel. She made sure to mention up front that she was not selling anything and I almost believed her. I usually say exactly that when I make my calls as well, so maybe it just struck a chord. (And I really am not selling anything. Really.)

She starts out asking me questions and I just go along. At first. I kept thinking it would just be like a three question survey or something short and then I could get on with my life. Instead it was these long, long questions where I had to rate my answer between 1 and 5, with 5 being the mostly likely. You know. I'm more of a to the point kind of person, so I kept trying to answer her before she finished, since she was basically asking the same thing over and over, and telling me to give a likelihood of my doing such or so, between 1 and 5 with 1 being the least and 5 being the most likely. Seriously. She told me that after each question. When I tried to just cut her off and answer without her saying that every time, she insisted that she had to say it.

I started getting testy. I'm not sure what she was after, but the thing was going on way too long and I had absolutely no interest in whatever she wasn't selling me. Plus, my dinner was getting cold. My mother, in the background, kept telling me to just hang up on her. But, again, I hate to be rude.

We were nearly 9 minutes into this call, when I decided that I was done. She wouldn't just cut to the chase and let me answer her, she insisted on doing the entire spiel, every single time, and I said, look, I can give this another 30 seconds. She said, with a bit of a 'tude, well, there's quite a bit more than that. I said, I'm sorry, then, but I have absolutely no interest in this and I'm eating dinner. She sorta sniffed at me a little and thanked me in a really snotty tone, said goodbye and hung up.

Even though I didn't want to be rude to her and just hang up, I should have. After all it was actually very rude of her to call me during dinner.

Depression and Blogging

2011-09-22T12:45:00.001-04:00

I realize that there has been a distinct lack of blogginess about this blog lately.

I'd say I'm sorry, but honestly, not so much. After the funerals, I just couldn't think of anything to write that wasn't depressing. I even started a few posts about the wedding and our vacation, but they weren't right. I was still too deep in mourning. I might still be.

The only stuff I could think to write about that didn't make me sound all depressed was the TV shows I'm watching, I guess cause they aren't personal.

But then I didn't want to write a bunch of random posts about TV shows, cause then it would look like all I do is watch TV. (The fact that I created an Excel spreadsheet to track all of the returning and new shows, plus all the shows I'm already watching, does not, in any way, add to that theory.)

I have been trying to focus more on work, seeing as I've missed so much of it since mid-July. But even that doesn't seem to be working well for me.

I hate being depressed. I even lost one of my very few blog followers while I've been gone, which is making me even more depressed.

But don't worry. I have things to say.

So stay tuned.

In Loving Memory of Anthony Marchese

2011-08-25T17:42:00.000-04:00

Anthony C. Marchese

September 15, 1925-August 13, 2011

"Don't forget Aunt Annie." My uncle Anthony pulled me close in a hug the day my Aunt died. We were all at his house afterwards, sitting around, aimless and numb. He whispered those words in my ear as he held me with tears in his eyes. Just two weeks after her funeral, to the day, we were once again at the same funeral home. But this time, it was my uncle in the casket at the front of the room.

Suddenly, the word numb takes on a whole new meaning.

He missed his wife, he was ready to go be with her. Plus, he was a stubborn man and once he made up his mind, he got things done. So the fact that he lasted less than two weeks after she died isn't even a surprise. He was determined. But it really hurts.

I feel like I have so much to say about Uncle Anthony, but I'm not sure where to start. Of all the memorial blog posts I've written in the last few months, I think this one is the hardest.

He was in the Navy during WWII and his aircraft carrier was sunk. He was one of the few survivors. Then he worked at Bell Aircraft (it's Bell Areospace now) and was involved in developing the Rascal Missile and the Rocket Belt. Interestingly, his older brother, Anello, who died in 2006, was the lead engineer at Bell and worked on the X-1, the first supersonic aircraft. So at least I was related to smart people.

Uncle Anthony then went on to work at Moog Music as Director of Engineering and developed a bunch of different musical devices, many of which were used by popular groups at the time. If you don't know about Moog, their synthesizers were a huge part of the musical scene, starting in the late 60's, and had a major influence on disco and rock. One of the first rock groups to use a Moog were the Doors in 1967 on their album, "Strange Days."

My uncle created the Moog Liberation, used by all sorts of people and groups, like Santana, Devo and Herbie Hancock. This isn't a great pic, since I took a pic of a picture with my cell phone at the funeral, but here's my uncle - back in the 70's - pretending to play it. He thinks he's tall here.

In 2008, Uncle Anthony was inducted into the Buffalo Music Hall of Fame. The best part was my Aunt Annie calling everyone she knew, all excited, and tell them, "Anthony has just been indicted!" People weren't sure if they should be happy or worried.

According to our pastor, my uncle was a humble man. While delivering the funeral service, pastor made mention that even though he had known my uncle for over 30 years, he didn't know many of the things that Uncle Anthony had accomplished, but read them in the obit (which you can read here).

Our family had a different take on Uncle Anthony. He loved kids, especially his kids, grand kids and great grand kids, and when we were all little, he had us call him Uncle Beep-beep, cause we'd press on his rather sizable nose and he'd make a beep-beep sound, like a car horn. But he was also a cranky, stubborn old man who didn't like people. I get that from him. Alright, maybe he liked some people, but you know what I mean.

He was incredibly picky; his food couldn't touch on a plate. Seriously, the man had to eat every meal on those divided plates and wouldn't eat any kind of casserole or mixed dish. He loved to travel and to "get out of the house." He dragged my aunt on long drives through the country, stopping at garage sales and drug stores, buying so much stuff they didn't need. Their house was just loaded, their cellar had stacks and stacks of...well, I guess the word is, again, stuff. They also went on tours with Ramblin' Lou. Maybe that's a Buffalo thing, but he was some sort of country music DJ and performer. Maybe he still is, I'm not sure. Anyway, he and his wife do these tours, all over the place, like cruises or trips to Atlantic City, and they went on so many that Ramblin' Lou knew them and came to the funeral.

It's still so hard to believe they are both gone.

But I won't forget Aunt Annie, Uncle Anthony, and I won't forget you.

But This Is How We Communicate

2011-08-10T21:28:00.001-04:00

And from the file labeled "conversations that I could not make up" here's another one that really happened:

HIM: So do I give the puppy one of the white pills now?

ME: Well, if you give her a white one now, we can give her one of the brown ones about mid-day, then save a white one for bedtime. Of course, you can give her a white one now, another one in 8 hours and still be able to have one for bedtime, so maybe we don't have to give her a brown one at all. You can give her both white and brown now, even, but then we have to make sure we time it out, cause she can only have the brown one twice a day and can have the white one every 8 hours. But since the white one seems a little stronger, maybe we should just stop the brown one altogether?

HIM: So do I give the puppy one of the white pills now?

Book Review: Manitou The Sky People Saga

2011-08-08T10:00:00.001-04:00

So a friend asked me to review a book she'd just written.

No wait, not a friend exactly, more like someone I've never met and only had contact with through email. So an online acquaintance. But not one I ever spoke with before agreeing to review the book. You know what I mean, so don't even pretend you don't. In any case, I'd say we're friends now. (Or at least frienquaintances.)

Anyway, she put out a plea on this indie book publishing message board I belong to and just hearing her enthusiasm for her story made it sound interesting to me. So I thought why not, if nothing else, I'd get a free ebook out of the deal. (I think she's a she. Maybe she's a he?? As it turns out, I have no idea. But I'm going with she. OK, fine, I just checked and she's definitely a she. I told you.)

Of course, now we get to the harder part of the equation. The book has been read and must be reviewed. I don't review too many books on here, even though I read dozens and dozens. It's not because I don't like them, either, but just cause by the time I finish one, I move on to the next and the moment is gone.

But not this time. This time, I have to write a review. The panic actually set in as soon as I agreed to review the book. What if I don't like it? How do I even write an actual book review, you know, beyond the "it's good and you should buy it" kinda of thing? I don't even know if I have that skill. Book reviewing is a skill, right?

Well, the good news is, I really liked the book. So it'll be much easier to tell you how good it is and that you should buy it. And in my attempt to be like a real reviewer type person, I'll start with a synopsis:

Manitou The Sky People Saga by Lexus Luke is the first in a series of YA novels about a young girl adopted into the modern Ute Tribe. Wray Sky's parents were murdered and she has been transported from her New York home to live with her Ute great grandmother in Colorado. Wray firmly believes in good solid logic and scientific facts. But one day she comes face to face with with some ancient Ute magic and she begins to believe that science may not always have the answers.

This is pitched as a YA story, but I think it will appeal to younger and older readers. It definitely kept my interest throughout and, even though my reading time was limited, I managed to finish it in just a couple of days. (Honestly, I stayed up way later than I should have, too!) I even found myself thinking about what would happen next when I wasn't reading, which is always a great sign of well-developed, engaging characters and an intriguing story-line. I don't want to give anything away, but let's just say that the story isn't as predictable as you think it might be and the twists are definitely surprising. Overall this was an enjoyable read and I'm glad I was able to review it.

And the best part? That the story isn't over yet! I can't wait to review Book 2.

Oh, I almost forgot...if you want to buy it (and you do!) check it out at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

In Loving Memory of Annie Marchese

2011-08-04T18:51:00.000-04:00

My Aunt Annie passed away on Sunday after a four month illness with bone cancer. She was a wonderful, funny, sweet woman. She leaves behind a husband, three children, nine grandchildren and five great grandchildren.

Uncle Anthony, my mom's brother, met and fell in love with Yanette Petrillo, when she was only 13. They were married when she was 21. My mom still tells the story of her first encounter with Annie. Being the little brat she was, mom greeted the girl who liked her brother by sticking her tongue out and running away.

But, somehow, even after that, the two became great friends. Their kids grew up together, more like siblings than cousins. Their friendship would last for 72 years. The last few years, since they weren't able to get around too much anymore, they mostly talked on the phone together. And talked. And talked. Every day. For hours and hours and hours. In all those many years, my mom was able to say that they never once had a major disagreement or fought about anything. That's something when you consider they're both Italian, too!

A room in her house, dedicated to her doll collection.

Aunt Annie touched so many lives. She was one of those people who would give you anything she had. And she had lots and lots of stuff. You've never seen so much stuff. She was the woman you could always go to if you needed something unusual, cause she probably had it. She decorated her entire house for every holiday, including Arbor Day, I think. But Christmas was when she went way over the top. She would buy presents all year round for her kids and grand kids, and then carry down big bags full of gifts for everyone. One year, when I was little, she took a Santa hat out of one of her many trunks full of costumes and gave it to me. I wore that hat until it fell apart and I still wear a Santa hat every year on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Because I did that, my four nephews always wore them, and now their children wear them, too. Even though they don't know it, it's a legacy from my Aunt Annie.

She had a saying for everything. For instance, she'd tell her grand kids, "Never marry a murderer" and "Don't make friends with a serious killer." OK, maybe she got those sayings a little wrong, but we knew what she meant. She was also fond of telling you that if you did something wrong or were with someone who did something wrong, you'd get worms. And she was always worried about what you were doing, even if it was just going out for ice cream. "Oh, dear, be careful, I knew a kid who died doing that."

What makes her sudden loss even worse for the family is that my cousin, Marianne, their youngest child, just died in November, the day before Thanksgiving, after fighting cancer for 5 years. She was only 53. I wrote a post about her, if you'd like to read it, she was an amazing person.

Aunt Annie was still grieving her daughter when she started feeling ill, around Christmas, but she didn't get checked out until Easter. They found a tumor in the bone of her shoulder and removed it surgically, inserting a metal rod into her arm where they had to remove bone. But it was too late. The cancer had spread through her body.

She spent the next four months in and out of facilities, including Roswell Park Cancer Institute, having radiation and chemo. A few days ago, they gave about three months to live, but said maybe a year with treatment. While she was going through chemo last week the pain became unbearable and they started heavily medicating her. At that point, the doctor gave her two weeks.

Then we got the call at 2 am Sunday morning to get to the hospital and she died around 10:15 am.

I already miss her so much and I just can't imagine what we'll do without her. We won't forget you, Aunt Annie. We love you very, very much.

Thoughts on Banking

2011-07-30T09:00:00.001-04:00

How come banks can charge almost 30% interest on money they loan out, but pay less than 1% on our money in savings that's essentially loaned to them?

Seriously, someone please explain it to me, cause I don't get it.

My Babies

2011-07-29T10:41:00.000-04:00

Look at these two!

I know, they look adorable, right? Sleeping all cuddled up like that?

Of course, the truth is Buffy has been sleeping in the bed every day like it's hers, so Bella decided it was time to take back possession of it. There was a short but bitter skirmish and Bella was back in her bed.

So Buffy did the next best thing. In an effort to be as annoying as possible, she got as close as she could to Bella without quite touching her.

It's great to see siblings get along.

Book Heaven

2011-07-26T22:36:00.000-04:00

I've found it!

Book Heaven is not just a myth, it's a real place and I've been there.

OK, it's not really called Book Heaven. It's called The Book Center, which is a super boring name for such an amazing place, so I felt the need to re-name it.

I had to take these pics, cause I was just so completely overwhelmed by so many books, piled floor to ceiling down these narrow rows, just packed into this little shop. Honestly, my little pictures don't really do the place justice.

My boss found out I was going to Rochester last week and she told me about this place, in Spencerport, which is a cute, cute little village with shops and other quaint stuff. Including this independent used book store.

I'm a fan of places where books live, like libraries and book stores. Especially used book stores.

There's just something about all those lovely pages with lots of lovely words written on them all in one place, just waiting for someone to read them.

I read or heard this quote somewhere recently and it's perfect for this place: "All books wait. They sit patiently on their shelves collecting the most refined dust until their cover is opened and the pages are turned by the proper person." I feel a little sad, cause I can't remember where I found it, so I can't give credit to whoever it was that said it first. I almost think it might have been an episode of some old show from the 80's that I was watching. But I'm not sure.

In any case, I almost wasn't able to get there, but on the last day I was in Rochester, I got together a group of like-minded friends (well, all my real friends are like-minded) and we ran out there for a bit. We only had about an hour and I didn't have too much cash on me, but I still managed to come out with eight books.

I only wish I'd had more time.

People of Walmart Probably Doesn't Want Me

2011-07-11T21:17:00.001-04:00

Filed under "conversations that really happened."

ME: How does this look?
HIM: It looks fine.
ME: You didn't even look.
HIM: That's cause I knew it would look fine. Besides, we're only going shopping.
ME: Sure, and that's when People of Walmart will be taking my picture.
HIM: Is that one of your goals?
ME: No, it's my biggest fear.
HIM: Well, at least you don't have back boobs.

I couldn't make this stuff up.

A Dog By Any Other Name

2011-07-09T19:15:00.000-04:00

So, things are going well with the puppy. Mostly. She still has no name.

I call her Baby, my husband calls her Dog and my mother calls her Buffy. We mostly refer to her as "no, the other one" cause my mother is always asking "Is that Bella?" I guess her name is Buffy, at this point, since that's the only actual name of the three, but it's not official. She doesn't really come when she's called anyway, so it hardly matters.

We have fewer in house accidents and most of those are my fault. She doesn't know enough to tell us yet.

Oh, and you know how they say a dog won't pee in their bed. Just another fairy tale. She's managed to pee on all three beds in our house, one of them twice.

Also, she's learning a lot. She's learned that she can go behind the couch, under the beds, back inside the space under my desk and other small, dusty, dirty places where it's impossible for any one of us to reach her.

Yay.