Tragically Pink

Mid-life crisis?

stargazer.studio@gmail.com (~ pam) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 18:52:00 +0000

It is the last day of September and it has turned into a gorgeous fall day. Still, it does nothing to elevate my mood. Lunch plans cancelled, which isn't a big deal, but some weeks you really find yourself wanting the company of your friends. Face to face, not that texts and emails aren't great, but face to face look me in the eyes companionship can't be replaced.

Since my last post, bump has improved. A great deal over where he was, but no real change for the past two weeks. He still has numbness in his foot, still has pain. Going back to the neuro next week to discuss options. Maybe therapy and decompression machine. Who knows. I'm staying out of it because I was thoroughly frustrated the last time.

Monday is D day for Carley. Healing process slowed down and more procedures had to be endured. Hoping that Monday is her day to bust out of her coccoon (reference to Dave Matthews' Butterfly).

Since my last post the tragedy among people I care about has just snowballed.... two divorces, an unexpected death leaving a sweet boy orphaned and custody issues, a friend reeling from a quadruple homicide which struck way too close to home, several cancer battles and other health issues. I'm not kidding when I say everywhere I turn I hear something devastating and life-altering. I blame it in part on getting older, just knowing more people than I did at 22 means I'm going to naturally get more bad news. But this all seems to be such a degree I can't even process it.

Last Friday was my birthday and I took off, alone. I had a good day, and a pretty quiet weekend interrupted only by a broken tooth. This a sign that I'm getting old? My ancient fillings are falling out and now along with back doctor bills we get dental bills.

I was on such a good roll last year at this time, feeling fantastic. Now I almost feel like I'm on the edge of depression. I find myself drawn to dark and twisty: just read Alice Sebold's The Almost Moon about a woman who kills her elderly, demented mother; I have been listening to Blue October... music to have a breakdown by if there ever was any. Last night I stumbled on a quote by Lou Holtz, "It isn't the load that breaks you, it is the way you carry it." Right now, I don't think I'm carrying my load so good.

Time to focus on the positive? I've tried. Believe me. I can't help but feel like I'm supposed to wallow here a bit longer, that I'm supposed to feel every speck of this disillusionment and take something away from it. My attempts to be the optimist have been rewarded with yet another 2nd degree tragedy, so I'm thinking just moving on isn't going to work.

Mid-life crisis is probably the appropriate title, but this isn't brought on by aging issues, of feeling unaccomplished or looking at my own mortality. Just by a heavy heart which is wondering how many more rocks can get roped to it before it tumbles off the bridge.

Perspective

stargazer.studio@gmail.com (~ pam) — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 01:40:00 +0000

It has been 8 months since I posted last, which is ridiculous. In that time I haven't been lacking for things to write about, I've been lacking time. I have went to Ireland, had an unexpected but wonderful trip to Spain, stepped back in time with my kids at the Henry Ford Museum, watched a fascinating OCD exhibit by the polar bears at the Toledo zoo... witnessed my daughter run in her first 5k, and her second... cheered for hits at countless softball games and even managed to read some good books and watch a few decent movies.

So what brings me to my blog to write today? I think an overwhelming sense of perspective. This week I have prayed more than I can remember. Today it sort of all has caught up with me I guess... in frustration I snapped at my oldest and in fear I've stayed at arm's length from my husband.

Let me back up. The past few days have been tough. One of my dear friends has had her life literally turned upside down by a rare, but critical condition called Thoracic Outlet Syndrome. I know TOS all too well, having been diagnosed with it 10 years ago. But this 17 year old girl is dealing with another breed of the condition which caused me to leave a job I enjoyed because I could no longer function. In her case, blood flow was restricted to her hand and she needed to be air-lifted, emergency vascular surgery, followed by surgery to relieve compartmental syndrome the next day. She got one day to rest before undergoing the surgery to remove her rib which was causing the brachial artery to throw clots down her arm and into the other arteries. And just when we all thought we could breathe a tentative sigh of relief- tentative I say because she was still in excrutiating pain- then the next day she required emergency surgery because the bypass was clotted. That is where I am at this moment. Waiting for news. It has been nine hours and the last update came two hours ago, still in surgery.

Does this long surgery mean they have found a way to fix the problem and these surgeons are being as delicate and meticulous as it takes to put her back together perfectly? I hope so. I pray that is the case. When the fear starts to grab hold of my stomach or choke in my throat I tell myself that this situation deserves better from me. Where is my faith? It was there yesterday.

To add to this, my own husband goes in tomorrow for an MRI on his back. He has spent the past five days basically in bed. If he gets up for longer than five minutes, he can pretty much guarantee that his left leg and foot will go numb. More than the intense, agonizing pain which all the leftover painkillers in our cabinet combined fail to adequately touch, this numbness alarms us both. It sets the hair on the back of my neck on end. I've tried to reassure him that whatever happens, we take it as it comes and I mean that. But I just want him not to hurt. I want him to be able to play basketball again and come home from work in a good mood, not tired and in pain and defeated. I know a thing or two about chronic pain and I know that this is not the guy I married. He's in there, and I think he's even fighting to surface. But right now he's battling something that is going to require help to fix and for the do-it-yourselfer, that might be the most frightening thing of all.

That is not all, though...

My friend's mom passed away in the wee hours of the morning. She was my 7th grade English teacher, my adult Spanish teacher. See, whenever you think you have it bad, or you think you know someone who has it really really bad, then someone else pops up on your radar who is just living in hell on earth. So I pray for Brad and his family too, and selfishly thank God that my problems are what theirs are.

It is a bad summer to be my friend if you have a Kris-type name. Christa and Cristin both had hysterectomies. Kristen is witness to the mutilations and miracles being made to save her daughter's arm. Kristin is counting down the days until her husband's back surgery. I hope that this mysterious affliction does not find Christine, Kris, or the other Kristin. Seriously, though, is that not just a little freaky?

Today my car was hit in the parking lot. And you know? I was pretty much ok about it. I exchanged insurance information but really wasn't in the slightest upset or concerned. I looked at this mom (my 8th grade math teacher, by the way) and thought, she's a mom. Of course she could back into my car. She's a mom and her head is probably swimming with many of the same things mine is. As I think in it more, it seems like exactly what should happen. Why aren't more of us backing into cars? Misfortune knows no bounds.

Ahh, besides, in the grand scheme of things, what does it matter if I have a fog light on my 10 year old Durango? Does anyone really need a right hand turn signal?

Did I mention that another friend owns the insurance company's preferred body shop? Or that it appears to be that the other driver's insurance will cover the repairs since I was parked? The only real set-back is going to be dealing with making time for the actual repair. Because unfortunately, my broken husband absolutely can not ride in the Jeep in the shape he's in. So I can't make plans until I know the results of the MRI and he sees a specialist who will do more than offer exercises and muscle relaxers.

In the midst of all this drama, I still need to get my nephew's birthday gift sent out. I need to get abirthday gifts for my niece and my daughter's best friend. We were picked to host a house party for Wizards of Waverly Place, so I have a party to plan for. Ha, ha.... can you believe it? With all this I'm throwing a party? I know, it is so absurd. I don't know if it is a blessing or if I should feel like the butt of a cosmic joke.

Perspective. That's all I'm sayin'.

2008 Savings and Baby Shopping Wiki

stargazer.studio@gmail.com (~ pam) — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 01:38:00 +0000

If you've been following my blog or chatting with me, you know that 2008 was the year of the coupon in my house. As an active grocery gamer in the LOND (land of no doubles- double coupons, that is), I set out with one lofty goal in 2008: to generate enough in savings to equal the cost of my trip to Ireland this spring (2009). I'm pleased to say that I not only reached that, I may have come close to doubling it. To all the nay-sayers who don't bother clipping coupons because a piece of paper worth .30 isn't worth their time, I say, "how does $4500.00 sound?"

For the entire year I saved receipts; tracked how much I spent and how much I saved. Sales + coupons actually combined to equal well over $4500, I rounded it down because there were those things that I got for free which I might not have otherwise purchased. They kind of skew the numbers up so I wanted to adjust for that. Those automatic air fresheners come to mind- at $11.99 there is no way I'd buy them. But for $1, or even less, sure. They are fantastic in the litter box zone. Incidentally, I even bargain shopped my travel plans, saving several hundred dollars on booking that trip to Ireland.

Probably the best part of all this analysis was a heightened sense of shopping-awareness. Now I can see at a glance what expenses to expect in any given month and start forecasting. I've always been good about upcoming birthdays and holidays, but seem to get caught off guard for all the other kid things. For example Little League doesn't start until April, but sign ups (and therefore $ due) take place in January. I'm also able to look at the notes on what I bought last year to see that March is an expensive month...family birthdays, Easter, Spring Break, attire for the spring musical, girl scout cookies, school fundraisers, spring pictures, you get the idea. Lots of things that only happen once a year but all in a span of a few short weeks.

I've been watching the shopping forums I frequent with an eye toward bargains for these upcoming needs. Today I tried a new (to me) tool, Shop Wiki. Specifically the guide for Babies and Toddlers, located here- http://www.shopwiki.com/wiki/Babies+and+Toddlers, because in addition to all those other things coming up I also have to shop for a baby shower gift. There are more detailed guides for just about every baby and toddler thing imagineable. I skipped over the big ticket items like strollers, car seats, and play yards, instead checking out books and toys. {quick aside- dontcha love the p.c. term 'play yard' over playpen? Really, 6 square feet does not make a yard. We all know it is baby jail so mom can pee in private... the 'pen' for the under 2 set.}

Right off the bat I followed the link for more information on bedtime stories for infants. A selection of suggestions, prices, and where to find them popped up. Most seemed to be collections of stories so I did a quick search on one of my all-time-favorite stories to read to my own girls, Mem Fox's Time for Bed. Sure enough, I found I can buy it at over 20 stores. One place that I wouldn't normally think of, though, was Scholastic. Which made me realize, I could probably purchase this at the school book fair which I'm going to support anyway. Now, instead of tossing $20 blindly at whatever whims my kids have, I can support their school and fill a need at the same time. This book and a hand crocheted baby blanket will make a gift I'm thrilled to give. In less than five minutes I've picked out a present which likely would have involved 30 minutes staring at the 'le Target' (work with me- say it French) baby registry and not being thrilled with any of the choices in my price range. Note that the wiki wasn't perfect, as some of the 'bedtime stories' merchandise consisted of trinkets instead of books, however I'm happy to recommend it. The site saved me time and money which makes it a bargain in my book! I'm sure I'll use ShopWiki.com again.

Is the public flogging about over?

stargazer.studio@gmail.com (~ pam) — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 14:44:00 +0000

Is it just me, or does anyone else take issue with the way the congressional hearings on the auto industry are playing out? Isn't it obvious what is going on? Their constituents are justifiably ANGRY about the bail out offered to the finance industry and now here are these apparant fat cats pleading for cash. Make a few nasty digs about private planes and obvious excesses, be sure to really put the heat on so that the folks who elected you can see that you are making someone pay for their frustration.

The fact is, policies enacted by both parties have created the economic disaster we are in right now and the one real solution I'm not seeing or hearing anywhere seems pretty obvious: buy American.

I think maybe the reason why you aren't hearing that is because you almost can't. NAFTA was supposed to bring a trade deficit into balance, but it failed. Seeing that it was failing, you'd think that more sentiment against expanding trade with China would have been considered. A million jobs lost due to NAFTA, over 2 million lost to China... it doesn't take a genius to figure out that without jobs, American's can't afford to buy American. They can't afford to buy anything but those ridiculously low-priced Chinese imports.

In light of the issues with Chinese manufactured toys and foods, I told myself to work hard at not buying Chinese products for my family, especially Christmas gifts. I had no idea what a challenge that would be. It isn't just an issue of cost anymore- so much manufacturing has left the US that it is hard to find goods that are made here. The world has gone global now, so a Japanese car is made in Tennesse and an American car is made in Mexico. With that globalization comes an equalization in wages. That may not have been the intention with these trade policies, but it is what is happening. Our $20/hr jobs are cut in half and there seems to be no sympathy for the worker who had it for so good for so long. Except that worker built a life around that level of wages and if the income gets cut so must the mortgage and every other bill. It isn't like the electric or gas companies are going to reduce your monthly bill by half just because your salary was re-negotiated as part of union concessions to just make sure you actually HAVE a job.

I spoke with my brother in California yesterday and he said that he hears a lot of resentment toward the big three. Many people on the west coast think foreign cars are better, have fewer issues. I won't argue that some US cars don't have the best record for reliability. Same can be said for a few foreign cars too. But we've already established that the lines between what is American and what is foreign are pretty blurry. The fact is, if Detroit goes down the rest of the auto manufacturers will follow. How is it no one outside the auto industry seems to see this?

In any given month, the smaller suppliers to the big three are owed millions of dollars for the parts they make. It is part of living in a net-45 or net-90 world. Well, suppose GM goes bankrupt. Is it realistic to think that losing millions isn't going to impact those suppliers? What about the companies which provide their raw materials? The suppliers' suppliers? Not to mention that the support companies don't usually make only one product. Suddenly they can't make products for consumer goods because they can't afford to make payroll and keep the doors open. It is like a house of cards built on a core of three. Remove one of those cards at the bottom and watch how many others come tumbling down.

So, when the Honda and Toyota can't keep their suppliers afloat what happens? The price soars on their vehicles. Who could afford them anyway, though? When we lose millions of jobs on top of the already 3+ million we've lost, how many people are going to struggle to pay mortgages and groceries, let alone anything else?

So it all comes back to JOBS. Now I realize it isn't as simplistic as signing a loan for the status quo. Clearly some major changes need to be made, not the least of which is that investors have to loosen the reigns on money. The credit crisis is in part why GM is begging the government to step in with an immediate loan. With Christmas coming, please keep in mind that how you spend your money matters. Maybe you aren't a Wall Stree Investor, but your money does make a difference. In that light, I have put together a list of sources for American-made items that might be on your shopping list. I can't speak to the vendors themselves as many are companies I haven't purchased from, yet. But please keep in mind when you are shopping this year that we all can make a bigger impact on the US economy when we purchase goods that were made here.

Toys of USA

Fat Brain Toys

Vermont Teddy Bear

Made in USA Forever

Still Made in the USA -directory

Toy& Game list from Fox News:

• Battleship
• Bicycle Playing Cards
• Boggle Jr.
• Candyland
• Chutes and Ladders
• Clue
• Connect Four
• Crayola Crayons *
• Life• Louisville Slugger
• Monopoly
• Mouse Trap
• Operation
• Parcheesi
• Play-Doh *
• Pop-O-Matic Trouble
• Radio Flyer Discovery Wagon
• Scrabble
• Sorry
• Stratego
• Tri-ominos
• Trivial Pursuit
• Yahtzee
• The Yot
Melissa and Doug U.S.A. Floor Puzzle (Most puzzles are made in the USA!)

* Note: Not all packages of Crayola Crayons and Play-Doh are made in the USA -- please check the label.

A little jack o'lantern went out to play...

stargazer.studio@gmail.com (~ pam) — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 12:36:00 +0000

Confession of a bad mom: this year we didn't carve pumpkins. I didn't even buy pumpkins, or any fall decorations for that matter. I did pull out the decorations for inside which we had stored in the basement and displayed them around the house, but forget decorating outside. My kids will probably vent about it to a therapist one day. "It all started when my mom didn't take the time to carve pumpkins with me..."

The thing is, they refuse to scoop the guts out (the fun part!) and I do it all. They think they want to carve pumpkins until it comes time to start. Then I get left alone on the kitchen floor to carve along their sharpie marks while they run off to watch tv, play in the yard, or kill an hour on Webkinz World. I get to stick my hands inside cold pumpkin goo and squeeze out the pumpkin seeds they refuse to help clean, roast, and eat. In the time before kids, I absolutely LOVED to do the time-consuming intricate carvings that make everyone go "oooh!" Call me a snob, but those cut out triangles and jagged smiles are boring. If I'm going to suffer through then I want my kids suffering too. So, instead of a mutual suffering session, this year I said skip it.

I'm pretty sure I skipped it last year, too. And there is a not-so-teeny part of me that feels guilty about it. But my cutie patootie Small Fry decided that it is ok if her mom stinks. Today she announced that we do have a Jack O'lantern. Then she smiled.

Here, look closer:

She lost another tooth yesterday. That makes three teeth missing and yep, a rather ghoulish smile. She skipped off to finish getting ready for school singing,

"a little jack o'lantern went out to play..."

Of course, when your sister is the object of camera attention, it is mandatory for a Princess to step in and demand some of her own limelight:

The frustration of finding the perfect bead

stargazer.studio@gmail.com (~ pam) — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 17:46:00 +0000

Last year when I designed my annual Stargazer Snowflake, I thought they were the prettiest I'd ever done. I was so pleased with them. Then, the horror of horrors happened: my supplier was sold out of the beads I needed. I spent hours, days even, searching the internet. Scouring sites the world over looking for more of the Czech two-tone beads which were critical to the design. I finally found some on ebay, but they weren't as brilliant as the first batch from my regular supplier. They were adequate, but not stellar. I bought the ebay seller out, but was only able to make 50 Peace Snowflakes. That meant only a $50 donation. Adequate, but not stellar.

This year, I vowed, I would not be caught under the gun. I started mulling over ideas this summer and came up with a plan to do a snowflake called Joy. It would be blue and frosty white. Why? I'm not sure, just because I can, I guess. Or maybe because they would look nice in my own home through February since they would be winter decor, not exclusively Christmas decor.

Well, I procrastinated again, but had a general idea of what I was looking for. I did some searching and found these beads and I knew what I wanted to do with the design. Except I wanted these beads in a clear glass or pale blue, but still with that mother-of-pearl coating so they look whimsical.

I planned to designate a children's charity as the recipient of my $1 donation per snowflake sold this year, one that has as its mission to bring Joy to children faced with terrible circumstances. I narrowed it down to two- either Make a Wish Foundation or American Dream Flite. I emailed ADF to see if they are open to being my named cause for 2008 but the email bounced back. I'm not without resources, however, so that is a minor glitch. I think ADF is my pick because they are a small organization doing big things for children with terminal cancer. The major glitch happened when all the other components of this snowflake arrived except these beads. I emailed the vendor. I waited.

Apparantly, they can't fill the order. Which left me scrambling. You see, I now have THREE WEEKS until my biggest event of the year. THREE WEEKS to make at least 50 snowflakes. But I can't make anything if I don't even have the beads! I spend hours searching sites all over the world for these beads. I found some in Australia, but my inquiry about whether they have 600 of them in stock and how much/how long shipping to the US would take has gone unanswered. They probably think, "pushy demanding American, why do you think we should drop everything and cater to you?" I don't blame them. Except every hour I'd feel a little more desperate.

This morning I took a quick look again while I waited until it was time to leave for my current Beth Moore study. I remembered seeing some that were similar, although not exact. The ones I wanted were Cinnamon Buns. These were Jelly Rolls. I was on a mission...

These are a mm smaller and to me, not quite as pretty. Adequate, not stellar. Beggars of 600 beads can't be choosers, however. I snagged them while I could get them. I hoped that the order would go through fine as I chose the Fed Ex 2-day option. Oh, it kills me to spend a fortune on shipping.
I worried that there would be a "so sorry but..." email waiting for me and I had a quick moment of panic when I got home and saw that there was indeed an email from this vendor in my inbox. Big sigh of relief, then, that they were just confirming the expedited shipping. Finally- outstanding customer service. My attempt at a fun and more whimsical design might work out after all, even if it isn't exactly as I had envisioned.

And if this post is choppy and rambles on, my apologies. I've been interrupted several times with calls from other crafters asking about this craft show. It isn't enough that this is my personal best show of the year, I co-organize the event. Man, I have got to slap some ducks in a serious row this week.

Love This!

stargazer.studio@gmail.com (~ pam) — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 19:55:00 +0000

A quick stop at the health food store last week turned up my new favorite decadence:

These are sooooooo good. The only variety I've had is the Almond & Coconut pictured above, but I will definitely buy more. They taste a little like baklava, but crispy. And light. With a kiss of coconut. Oh, I'll be buying these by the box.

From the Kind website:

KIND Almond & Coconut is delicious, all natural, gluten free, wheat and dairy free. This healthy snack bar contains no trans fats. It's a rich source of fiber, low in sodium and contains a low GI.
Packed with whole premium almonds, which are high in protein, fiber, calcium, magnesium, potassium, vitamin E, and other antioxidants. Almonds help prevent osteoporosis and have properties that regulate blood pressure. In addition, coconut has been shown to improve digestive functions. With the taste of a macaroon more than that of a nutrition bar, our Almond and Coconut, KIND healthy snack bars, will satisfy even the pickiest sweet tooth.

INGREDIENTS:
Almonds, honey, shredded coconut, coconut chips, glucose, puffed rice, chicory fiber, soy lecithin.

NUTRITIONAL INFO.:
Calories: 190
Fiber: 4g
Fat Calories: 130
Sugars: 11g
Total Fat: 14g
Protein: 4g
Saturated Fat: 5g
Vitamin A: 0% DV
Cholesterol: 0mg
Vitamin C: 0% DV
Sodium: 25g
Calcium: 4% DV
Total Carbohydrates: 14g
Iron: 6% DV

Visions of Halloween Past

stargazer.studio@gmail.com (~ pam) — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 18:06:00 +0000

I have this crazy urge to go delving into photo archives. Maybe it was from reading a post at Camp-run-a-muk (see blogroll to the right). Maybe it was the quizzing the Guy gave me the other day (I passed). Anyway, let's take a little trip down memory lane:

2000- Princess as Pooh's Honeypot.

2001- Princess as Tinkerbell

2002- Princess as Cinderella, Small Fry as Pooh's Honeypot (yes, we make active use of hand-me-downs!)

2003- Princess as Little Bo Peep, Small Fry as a little sheep. It was kind of lame, I admit it. A white fleece zip up onsie and a white hat with black ears. She was too young to protest. Much.

2004- Princess as a Rainbow Fairy, Small Fry as Tinkerbell (Princess leftover from 2001)

2005- Both girls as Kim Possible. One of the easiest and most practical costumes: olive drab cargo pants, black turtlenecks, black stretchy gloves, black boots, and orange wigs. Only the wigs were never worn again.

2006- Princess as a (gasp!) Princess! Small Fry as Tinkerbell:

Princess was supposed to be Glinda the Good Witch from Wizard of Oz. She changed her mind at the last minute. So, no Glinda crown. Dress found at Centsible Treasures second-hand store. I ducked in there with a friend who was looking for costumes for her kids, never expecting I'd find the perfect gown for my own. I tried to persuade Small Fry to be Dorothy, but she would have none of it. Tink remains her favorite Disney character.

2007- The Year of the Madonna-Wannabe Flamenco Dancers

The Guy brought these dresses back from Spain. I told him to bring the girls back a skirt or dress, something they could wear as a souvenier. I was thinking something cool and European they could wear to school. I did NOT picture these! However, they were great costumes and the girls loved them. There was some confusion, though, on just who/what they were. A platinum-blonde 40-something mom said, "OH! look, it's Madonna!!" I could tell she was a fan. Who was I to argue?

2008- Princess as a Bride, Small Fry as Belle from Beauty and the Beast

Of note: my 8 year old is wearing my Senior Prom dress as her costume. It is not too long. It almost fits her perfectly. Yeesh, she better be a basketball player someday. My little Belle was very specific about her dress. Most Belle costumes weren't quite right. Thankfully this one was acceptable, otherwise I'd have had to *make* it. As it was, I made Princess' veil. I think that is enough craftiness for one season.

Do you hear that sucking sound?

stargazer.studio@gmail.com (~ pam) — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 23:06:00 +0000

It is the sound of a cosmic vacuum. An intelligent cosmic vacuum which seems to know when my couponing is at its peak and enhanced prosperity is just around the corner for my family. Just about the time my checkbook should be doing the happy dance, something unexpected plops on the bill pile. Like, oh, say $600+ for labs that we expected to be covered by insurance. Or car repair. Tell me you relate. Yes, I see you nodding in agreement.

A couple weeks ago the man of the house (hereafter named the Guy) said that we need to invest in a couple things for the cars before winter. The jeep needs a new top, that I already knew and have been sort of keeping one eye peeled for a good deal on an after market soft top. My last one was an internet steal about 8 years ago for under $200. So of course I want that kind of deal again. Then he went on to say something about the front brakes in the Durango and blah blah rear end making noise. I couldn't really catch the last part, what with all the racket the cosmic vacuum was making.

Surprise, surprise, then, when an email came through asking me my opinion of RepairPal.com .
I told you that cosmic vacuum was intelligent... persistent too. Anyway, I did venture on over there and was pleasantly surprised at the amount of real information. From the home page you can find a repair shop in your area, learn about common problems for your car, and my personal favorite: how much you should expect to pay for the repairs you need. Normally when I try these handy little gadgets there is nothing for my little Southwest Michigan town but surprisingly, every auto and body shop I know and trust is there- as well as a couple I hadn't even heard of. Do it, I dare ya: go to Repair Pal's site and test it for yourself. Leave a comment to let me know if it worked as good for you as it did for me in bringing up car repair shops in your town.

Of interest to me was finding out how much those front brakes were going to cost (let's face it, "blah blah rear end making noise" is not on my priority list yet). So under Common Car Repairs I clicked on Brake Pad Replacement and viola! There I was with easy to read info on the details of brake pad replacement as well as a few tips and of course the link to find a shop and get an estimate of what to expect to pay for brakes in my area. $102 - $215 is what the clever gadget told me.

Cautiously, I approached the Guy. "Honey, how much do you think parts would cost to do the brakes ourselves?" {YES, I SAID OURSELVES BUT YOU KNOW I MEAN YOURSELF} He's not sure. Well you know what? I'm going to go look up those parts for him and get back with a firm price. Because if it is like $35, he's just lost a Saturday afternoon. But if it is more like $75, well then it becomes time to shop around. His time is worth more than the $25 we'd save if we can get in on the low end of those estimates.

Armed with a little intelligence of my own, I'm tempted to tell the cosmic vacuum to suck this... but I won't. Can you imagine the unexpected expenses that would result from that?! I'm not stupid!

The evidence

stargazer.studio@gmail.com (~ pam) — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 12:30:00 +0000

The case before you today isn't one that was tough to crack, but it is amusing enough so I thought I'd share.

What is that hiding under the fruit stand? Why, it looks like a lone apple. Silly little apple, did you roll off the plate? Let me put you back where you belong.

AAAAACKKKK!!!!
Egads little apple, what happened to you?!

At first glance it may appear as though my apple was the victim of some tepid fruit vampire. One that only cared to break the skin just enough to suck the juice out. But on further investigation, the following items surfaced from the crime scene:

A plastic tooth holder and several one dollar bills. Hmmmmm....
Could this be an attack of the 6 year old with a loose tooth? Who nibbled on the apple unsuccessfully to pull her tooth out, then put the apple back to try again later? But, in her 6 year old wisdom knew that if someone else came along and grabbed an ABC apple off the plate there would be a scene and a talking-to? So she tucked the apple under the fruit stand where no one would notice? Ah, it all makes sense now.

I guess the only real mystery is why on earth the tooth fairy felt the need to leave $3 for one little tooth. Doesn't he know the economy is in dire straights? Has he not looked at my checkbook lately?

Methinks the toothfairy has a big ol' "S" on his forehead for sucker...

Scarecrow Festival

stargazer.studio@gmail.com (~ pam) — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 12:45:00 +0000

Last Sunday was the annual Scarecrow Fest and we made our way over once again for an afternoon of picture-perfect fall color, painted pumpkins and faces, and apple cider. Held at a local park, there are free pumpkins for the kids to paint:

Hayrides, live bluegrass music, cookies and cider, and silly games to play-

Mini golf and face painting-

On the way home, I grabbed a couple pictures just to show you what a beautiful area we live in. The road we travel most to our home from town is filled with twisty windy curves and trees which make a natural tunnel. In fall the view is usually stunning and never fails to erase any stress I may be dealing with. At least for a few minutes!

It's 2 a.m., do you know where your mom is?

stargazer.studio@gmail.com (~ pam) — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 06:11:00 +0000

She's probably blogging because she fell asleep in front of the tv while Crusoe was on. Now she isn't tired because she is wondering if that woman charged with such a heinous act on her three month old is her SIL's ex-SIL. See, that's what we do when we become moms. We worry. Worry about stuff that we have no control over and which doesn't even directly affect our lives. We worry about our babies and we fret over everyone else's too. It is an exhausting job, which is why we fall asleep in front of the tv at 9:30 p.m. ( v-i-s-c-i-o-u-s c-i-r-c-l-e)

Speaking of circles, remind me to tell you about the Big O. A couple of my mom-friends escaped the afore-mentioned cycle of insanity to celebrate life. A whirlwind trip to Chicago in honor of kicking the snot out of brain cancer. Partying until 5 a.m. Can you say all-nighter? Oh, yeah. Every now and again one of our type sheds her supermom cloak and remembers what it was like to be a college student. But really, surviving aggressive brain cancer deserves a little on stage ass shaking, don't you think?

Ok, reality is dawning. Must get sleep. My own children are going to want breakfast in a few hours. I worry about them going hungry, you know.

Deal of the day

stargazer.studio@gmail.com (~ pam) — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 18:11:00 +0000

I know I'm always bragging on Rite Aid and never Walgreens because my Rite Aid store is always much more coupon-friendly. The staff there greets me like an old friend, really I can't talk them up enough. Yesterday, though, I had a small score at Walgreens which is worth mentioning.

I've actually dropped my Walgreen's grocery game list, I was finding that every week the items I was buying were things that there was a store coupon for in their circular. That's easy enough to spot, so I decided to save my money. This was my first week sans list and when I flipped through the circular the only things that stuck out at me which we could actually use were paper plates and mandarin oranges. I almost skipped it, but since I was out and about and we were out of paper plates at home I decided to go ahead and stop in. Discovering that I had a $4.50 register reward that was about to expire clinched it.

So, all told, I purchased 3 packages of 80 count paper plates and 4 cans of mandarin oranges for....... drumroll please...............

sixty five cents! So glad I decided to stop because walking out with $8 worth of stuff for under a buck was positively elating.

Meet my new brushes

stargazer.studio@gmail.com (~ pam) — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 18:11:00 +0000

I know, you are thinking wha? Why is she bothering posting about brushes?

Let me tell you a little story. Not quite two years ago, I was using a boars bristle round brush and a blow dryer on my hair every day (just like I had been doing for years- only this was a better brush than the plastic or nylon bristle ones I'd used before). I don't know if it was the brush's fault or the hair dryer's, or maybe a combination of both, but my hair scorched. Literally burned and broke off about half inch above my bangs. I had this clump of super short hair and it looked horrible. I babied it and used clips to pull my bangs back and kind of camoflauge the hideous scene, but really there was no long term solution except to hack it off. Which I was finally brave enough to do.

Then it happened again. Only this time I had to have my hair clipped REALLY short to make it look intentional. As I was at the salon explaining to Virginia just how it happened and aquiesce to having my hair clipped THAT short, I overheard a couple of the other stylists musing about how short an earlier patron had her bangs cut. "Car-crash bangs" they called them, with an appropriate scissors shearing motion across the forehead. Ah, I thought. Car-crash bangs. This is what I must have.

Now, this was pretty tough for someone who's had longish hair most of her adult life to accept. The last time my hair was short I'd cut it to donate with Princess when she was four. Between the two of us we'd handed over 25" to Locks of Love. I like my hair better long, but at least then it was for a good cause. Still, I was determined to embrace the opportunity for change. Though really, what choice did I have? A silver-dollar sized patch of stubble on the top of your head isn't very attractive, no matter how avante garde you are.

Since that fateful day last winter when I had to chop it all off, I've been growing it out. Virgina, stylist extraordinaire, recommended ditching the blow dryer in favor of a couple quick strokes of the flat iron. It seemed to work. Right now it is finally at the perfect length. I have the supermodel swoop bangs again. Finally. But because it is getting heavy and long and the weather is getting colder, I need to make nice with my blow dryer. And I need a brush to use with said dryer.

Now, the old dryer which was at least an accomplice in the prior singe-ing incidents has been properly retired to the landfill. In its place I am using my little travel hair dryer, which isn't perfect but doesn't have enough power to create smoking strands so I'll take it. I've also bid adieu to the round brush I was using at the time... if for no other reason than that its bristles were melted. So yesterday I decided to splurge and brought home these bad boys:

The first is Goody's "Ouchless" paddle brush. This was pretty reasonable, under $5 at Wal-Mart. What makes this brush different you ask? Well, have you ever been brushing your hair and suddenly the rubber part comes unglued from the base of the brush? Part of the ouchless design is that the rubber part that the bristles come through is actually underneath the top surface of the molded plastic brush. If you take a look at one in person you'll see what I mean. This keeps hair from getting snagged in the edge where the rubber meets the handle, but still offers the same give that the bristles mounted in rubber have. It is very easy on the scalp and Small Fry (who has hair down to her waist) loves it.

The second is Conair's Infinity Large Red Round Brush. It has boar's bristles, but also the more traditional plastic tipped bristles. Having both bristles makes the brush much easier to use. It has ions for shine (don't ask me if that works because I truly don't know if it isn't just a marketing ploy). Today I used it for the first time and all I can say is yeah, baby. This brush rocks. It was salty at almost $13- the most I've ever paid for a brush- but it works better than any other round brush I've ever used. Love it.

My only regret is that I didn't have these babies BEFORE I had my new driver's license photo taken.

Penny's Project

stargazer.studio@gmail.com (~ pam) — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 15:59:00 +0000

Something I've been meaning to share for several weeks now is this wonderful idea by author Sharon Hinck. Her newest book, Stepping into Sunlight should be available now, and it deals with one woman's attempt to move beyond the trauma in her life by dwelling on the positive. Sometimes that is almost impossible. Penny commits to doing one kind act for a different person each day and she is often amazed at the outcome.

You can read the Penny's Project blog here. Have you ever pledged to do a random act of kindness daily? Be sure to share your experiences in the comments section.

Years ago, when I worked at the flower shop, our delivery driver Sherry made it a point to do a random act of kindness every day. It brought her a tremendous amount of joy and it wasn't always something grand. Most often it was the little gestures... sometimes never noticed or acknowledged by the recipient. To Sherry that didn't matter. The point was that it made HER feel great to do something nice for others, sometimes total strangers.

Little surprises and thoughtful acts make our own hearts swell but even more than that, put us in a state of appreciation for the quiet blessings we receive ourselves. If you are looking for a good way to kill a little time heading into your weekend, be sure to head over to Penny's Project and get inspired.

Long update

stargazer.studio@gmail.com (~ pam) — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 12:49:00 +0000

First, on the topic of health-

Went to the my doc last week for a follow up. The PA I saw before moved so today's visit was with their hormone queen and she is awesome. Right off the bat, my biggest concern was my echocardiogram.

I had my echo done Aug. 19th and had not heard anything which I was hoping was good news (if I had a hole in my heart seems like a cardiologist would have called right away, huh?) The short story is that the cardiologist who read the results isn't completely happy with the images and would like the test redone with contrast. From what the report did say, however, all the things which would have been serious were all fine and the couple small abnormalities are relatively common and the cause of most 'normal' murmurs. So still not completely conclusive but it appears to be nothing to be concerned about; she doesn't think it is worth re-doing with contrast at this point and I'm perfectly ok with that.

My testosterone level was high when they took my blood 6 weeks ago, which she said seals the deal on a PCOS diagnosis. Something my midwife has long suspected so that was no surprise. My headaches are not gone, although the eczema and skin rashes are. My skin even just looks better, I feel like I look healthier. I was off my allergy meds until just over a week ago, but I think my sinus issues were caused from something seasonal because Bump was dealing with it too. She said headaches can be caused from too much or too little progesterone or estrogen so now we start a process of tweaking prescription hormone replacement to get me to normal. Because I've noticed some real improvement, she has upped my progesterone script. She also wants to start me on bio-identical thyroid medication. My thyroid test was normal but she said that my symptoms and PCOS kind of go hand in hand with a sluggish thyroid & weight gain. I go back in 2 months for a re-check. If I'm still having headaches the next step is possibly adding a low dose of estrogen and then after that investigating cortisol levels further. She told me that hormones are her specialty and if she can't get my body normal no one can. I need to keep a journal on my headaches and that will help her determine whether it is estrogen or progesterone which is the primary cause. She also told me to take progesterone every day. Normally you go off for a certain amount of time after your period starts but since I'm not trying to conceive she said let my cycles be irregular... more important that I don't have the headaches, cramping, and the yucky TMI issues I've been dealing with.

I really like her. She has done the allergy elimination diet herself so she knows what that is all about. I have not really done the rotation part well (where you don't repeat eating the same foods for 4 days) and she said she didn't either. We both agreed that trying to do that results in throwing away a lot of food, especially when you are trying to only prepare food for one person. She asked me questions and wanted to know my gut reaction to what we were discussing. I felt like she not only knows her stuff, she listens to me. She asks my opinion and wants my feedback.

I've lost about 26 lbs. so far, the last three since my appt. The first 11 came off in the first week (even with our weekend in Colorado) so that was all water. She told me progesterone acts like a water pill so she wasn't surprised. Right now I am *thisclose* to moving down a size. My jeans are all too big but the smaller ones are just a little snug so I'm waiting for another 5 pounds and then I'll switch out a bunch of clothes. I am not restricting calories at all and some stuff I eat is high fat (almonds, black olives, avacados). I'm pretty sure I'm eating at least as many if not more calories than what is my norm (well, except on the couple days lately where I'm just bored with making everything from scratch and don't eat because I'm lazy). Basically this confirms my theory that there is more to it than just calories in vs. calories expended. Overall, a good update with a lot of progress. I hope to fill the thyroid rx today or tomorrow so I'll update after I've taken that a while.

In other news-
Still couponing like crazy. So much so, that this week I only have two items on my Rite Aid list (eyeshaddow and pudding which will both be 25 cents ea.), and not many more on Walgreens. My grocery cost has gone up a tad because my diet doesn't lend itself to bargains, but still saving about 30% on groceries. I need to work up the numbers for July and August. So much to catch up on, some days I don't even know where to begin. I have a couple orders which need to get out, craft show applications to finish, copy, stuff, mail; PTO minutes to complete, sign up sheet to create and copy, a drivers' license to renew, passport to apply for, plus all the regular household stuff. I tell ya, I need to quit typing here and start typing somewhere else.

My friend Kristen wrote a book! I'll devote a whole post to "Life Beyond Laundry" later, but I am so proud of her!!! It is a thin book of easy to read devotionals intended for busy moms to see the miraculous in the mundane. For me, it was amazing to see Kristen take every day events which we chatted about and draw deeper spiritual meaning from them. Check it out at amazon or comment if you are interested in more details.

I have said for about a year now that I think I want to start writing and I think Kristen may have been the final kick I needed. I've got two thoughts brewing right now for stories, don't know if I'd combine them into one novel or keep them apart. Haven't even set pen to paper yet, but I have a good idea with one in particular the direction I want to go and a feel for the characters.

So there you have it, the brief update. We've also had first day of school, first cheerleading experiences, and the first of the pre-teen angst. But each of those deserve their own time so for now, I'm over & out....

Fast approaching mid-point

stargazer.studio@gmail.com (~ pam) — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 13:09:00 +0000

In just a few days I'll be at the official middle of my three months and that means I can see the light at the end of this tunnel. I still haven't marked my exact end day on a calendar because I've tried hard not to let the diet become all I think about. And, truthfully I've been pretty successful at that. Distancing myself from food, seeing it as what it is- sustanence.

I did have a lapse on Monday. The girls were at cheer camp and I went with my friends Kristen and Lisa to LA's where I got a green tea chai with soy milk. The thing is, it was too good so I have to assume it had some sugar in it. I didn't notice any issues after, sugar cravings or anything, but it is a treat I can't afford to indulge in much unless I can verify that there is indeed no sugar in it. I don't really want to ask, though. I don't want to know!

We were there to celebrate summer's end: for us it means kids back in school and a chunk of time not entertaining our at-this-point-can't-stand-each-other-offspring. While there I did talk about the diet because Kristen went through the same thing when she did the food sensitivity testing at Born. That was probably the most time I've spent talking about it to anyone, for the most part I try to keep it under the surface. I do this by choice, I don't expect anyone's pity.

I will confess that I expected the scales to move more. The first 11 pounds practically fell off. I'm sure it was retained water. I've lost 21 pounds total now, but have been sitting at 20 for a couple weeks. Today I finally lost that pound which has been vexing me- dropping into the next decade on the scale. I'm taking that as a good omen.

My eczema is still clear, with the exception of one tiny, tiny, spot on my pinky. I'm amazed at the fact that it was clearly something I was eating which was causing the blisters and cracking/peeling on my hands which has embarassed me periodically since I was a teenager. My rings are much looser, and even though the scale wasn't moving something was because I've been able to fit better into clothes that were snug. Jeans which did fit are now a little too loose. I'm probably 10 pounds away from a bunch of "new" clothes... things that I bought after I lost weight from my gall bladder surgery a couple years ago. I was only able to wear them for about three months before I started the fast climb up and they were too tight.

But enough about me, how about this...
Today Princess asked to try on my old prom dress and it almost fits. It dawned on my that I weighed less than 10 pounds more than her when I wore it as a senior in high school. Just a reminder, she is 8! Ok, so it was tea length on me and almost floor length on her, and the elastic off-the-shoulder top is a little large so she'll wear a shirt under to keep the dress up. But that was kind of a surprise. The dress is white lace so she's going as a bride for Halloween. That means I don't have to fork over much cash on a costume! I'll get her some gloves, make a bouquet and veil, and call it good. Small Fry wants to be Belle and I haven't decided if I am going to tackle making a costume or buy one. I have a sewing machine, but I pretty much only use it for mending.

Princess and Small Fry capped off their summer with cheerleading. Lots and lots of cheerleading (culminating at tonight's varsity game where they get to cheer for the first quarter if the rain holds off). I haven't told them that I was one of the anti-rah-rah crowd. I had friends who were cheerleaders and didn't hold it against them, but the ditzy stereotype is something I can't stand. I hate weak women. I must admit, however, they have loved cheer camp and the girls on the high school squads who were their coaches were nothing but upbeat and encouraging. Princess got a sweet note which reminded her that she can do ANYTHING if she sets her heart on it. My girls are cartwheel-challenged so this was especially nice. The coaches worked with Princess one-on-one because she wanted to learn so bad. Every day she practices in the yard. She is also on a cheer squad for rocket football this fall, so we had camp in the morning and rocket football practice in the evening. Eight is a little young for two-a-days, but she loved it.

All this cheering means for the first time in four years I'm not a soccer mom. :)

Starting week 4

stargazer.studio@gmail.com (~ pam) — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 18:15:00 +0000

It has been three weeks since I've had chocolate and surprisingly, I'm not ready to kill anyone yet. Meals in our house have changed quite a bit, with us needing to have two-three variations on a meal to accommodate my allergy diet. I'm doing ok- the question everyone asks is how do you do it and the simple answer is that I don't want to go back to feeling lousy and I don't want to have to start over with day one. I haven't given myself an option to fail.

Since eliminating all the foods that were on my sensitivity panel, my eczema has disappeared. I do have more energy. My headaches are not gone yet, but I haven't had one of the really severe headaches since starting progesterone and the diet, so I think that is amazing.

What hasn't happened? Well, after my initial 11 pound weight loss (after one week on progesterone, before diet started), I haven't seen a huge loss. I thought I had this morning, I was positively elated, but then I stepped on the scale a little later and the 4 lbs I thought I'd lost turned into .5 gained. I'm not obsessing over weight loss because that isn't my primary motivation, but damn. To think I had this huge loss and then discover I didn't is a little deflating.

You may wonder what I eat. I cook a lot from scratch now. Although some sources say fruit is a no-no when battling yeast, I have been eating fresh, raw fruit. When I eat a sweeter fruit like grapes or pineapple, I'll also have a handful of nuts to add some protein. My starches have consisted of brown rice or organic brown rice cakes, black beans (made into soup and dip), yellow split peas (made into daal), and sweet potatoes. I don't eat more than one or two starches in a given day and again I try to eat protein with it. Meat is pretty easy, any kind I want I just need to watch marinades... can't use any seasoning with black pepper or vinegar. All veggies except the ones I am sensitive to are fair game. Again, salad can be a challenge since I can't use pre-made salad dressing or have common salad veggies: tomatoes, broccoli, cauliflower, carrots. I'm going through a lot of lemons, limes, and clementines for dressings and marinades. Fresh garlic, ginger root. I drink only water or green tea. Yesterday I bought some peppermint tea and I've steeped ginger root in hot water then iced it down for something with flavor. I'm not crazy about eggs, but spinach salad with hard-boiled eggs, slivered almonds, avacado, and dressing made with melted ghee and orange juice is not bad.

Have I cheated? Well, I like to think that I haven't, but it depends on the source. If I look at what anti-candida diets online recommend, then I'm not really following it like I should because I have had fruit and 100% fruit juice. My allergy diet I'm following very well but I'm still not doing the 4 day rotation thing. Eating in a restaurant without cheating is almost impossible, though, and there have been several times when I've ate at a restaurant. The chicken and shrimp may have had black pepper, the salad dressing may have had some dairy/safflower oil/pepper/vinegar in it, and one time my salad had some tiny diced carrots. I tried to pick them out, but I'm sure some escaped me. But if you want to know if I've had dessert, a soda, some chips or crackers- no. No cheese. No pizza.

My family eats it all in front of me, I buy it for them and prepare it for them. I'd like a little more sympathy in the way of solidarity from them, but I don't expect it. I try not to dwell on what I can/can't eat because I don't want to be defined by this diet, most of it is temporary. The most processed food I've had in three weeks has been the organic brown rice cakes, and those aren't real food. I know this because even the raccoons rejected them when we were camping. The little bastards DID eat a whole bag of sunflower seeds, though, which were supposed to be my snack. Camping was a challenge, but at home I do ok. Only 9 more weeks to go. What will I add back first? I don't even know. Right now I'm not thinking about it.

Alice on Caffeine

stargazer.studio@gmail.com (~ pam) — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 15:04:00 +0000

Yesterday I got a rare treat. One of my best friends, EVER, was in town for a very brief visit. She lives about 7 hours away so we don't get to see each other often enough, and since her move last year to another town we've been terrible about emails and calls. But Alice is one of those friends who no matter how much time goes by everything is the same. Same easy conversation, same affection. It doesn't change, despite time and distance.

She and her husband stopped over for dinner, along with other friends who wanted to see her. Alice didn't give us much notice- she called at 10 a.m. to make plans for dinner that night- but fortunately we didn't have plans and were home so we didn't miss her.

First thing I noticed was that she'd lost a lot of weight (neglecting to correspond for months makes the element of surprise quite stunning). Weight Watchers has worked well for her, proof that you can teach an old metabolism new tricks. I think she is thinner than I've seen her for all of 10 years, maybe more. She had indulged in caffeine, however, something which she had cut out while losing weight.

Now, this is the girl who loves coffee. Her decadence of choice was chocolate-dipped espresso beans. She always used her antique hand grinder to freshly grind her coffee beans every morning. The thought of her without caffeine gives me pause... what is Alice like without any caffeine?

Alice is bubbly and chatty and yesterday even more so. She was zoomin'. "Give me something to do, I can't sit still..." but there wasn't anything to do except just be. I was entertained by her stories of her boys, who are destined to be characters in someone else's blog one day. At the same time I was thinking about everything it took to get her to this point... of being healthier, happier than I've seen her in years. It took walking away from everything she had here to start a new life in a place where she had no personal connection, only a love for the land and open spaces. It took guts. I'll always admire her for that, even when it wasn't pretty.

I miss her already, only 14 hours later. She's probably already in the process of weaning herself off caffeine again. But that doesn't mean I can't grab some chocolate covered espresso beans the next time I head north...

day 3

stargazer.studio@gmail.com (~ pam) — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 19:42:00 +0000

Allergy elimination diet, day three.

Still haven't cheated, which is a very good thing since from what I've read, I have to start over if I cheat. Yikes, that's some incentive. Not like other diets where you just jump back on the saddle. If I want to have any chance at the whole spread for Thanksgiving, I'm going to have to be very good now.

Today I had an apple for breakfast, some raw almonds for a snack, and I made a yellow split-pea dahl for lunch. It was ok. I needed some starch finally and so I hope this, like sweet potatoes, is fine. I noticed a few discrepancies in my allergy plan- in one section it says rice and white potatoes are fine. In another it says they need to be avoided because the starch will convert to sugar and feed the yeast. So I think I'll avoid them for now, at least until I've got a week or two of diflucan under my belt, and then see.

Still looking for some soy alternatives in case I get dairy cravings. So far I haven't had any cravings and have only struggled (not really even struggled, but couldn't think of a better word) with the inconvenience of this way of eating. I have not touched the twinkies, the dark Bliss chocolate, the popsicles, etc. I'm actually surprised, but I'm guessing the ability to eat fruit makes this different than trying to do Atkins induction. That would always make me feel sick and I'd crave sugar constantly. So far I haven't had that problem and I can't believe that just progesterone would affect that but I'm not complaining.

What I have found to be a challenge is salad dressing. I made some from vinegar and lemon juice yesterday, but it was too strong on the lemon and kind of blech. So I need to search for some recipes for that. I think as long as I can keep a large variety of food on hand I'll be ok. Oh, and I want to try making ghee so I have an alternative to olive oil.

stargazer.studio@gmail.com (~ pam) — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 19:42:00 +0000

How brave am I?

stargazer.studio@gmail.com (~ pam) — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 19:36:00 +0000

I've eaten a handful of nuts, a banana, and a chicken breast so far today and yet I braved Wal-Mart with the kids after pool school to pick up groceries I can actually eat. While there, Small Fry asked for Twinkies. She never asks for twinkies. As a kid, twinkies were my favorite (you'd never guess to look at me now, *ahem*, no sir). But I looked down at the cart and realized that except for the blueberry bagels that her sister asked for, there was only fruit and vegetables. Gee, I suppose they need to eat too. So I said what the heck, toss them in. Her sister wanted a bottle of Bolthouse Farms mocha cappucino, and never mind that caffeine and 8 year olds are not the best mix- I said sure! Why not! Nothing like making this a real challenge!

You know what, though? I won't cave. In the week since I started using progesterone cream I have lost 11 pounds. Yeah, that is with a girls' weekend. I don't want to jinx myself, and perhaps my scale is broken. But if I can make my allergy symptoms go away and lose weight? Well, I don't think even a twinkie can stop me.

So much to catch up on

stargazer.studio@gmail.com (~ pam) — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 14:14:00 +0000

Should I warn you that this is going to be more novel than blog entry?

July has been a busy month. Trying to get rid of the remains of our late-June garage sale through eBay and Craig's list (thank you to the people who bought the Little Tikes kitchen and monitor!), get rid of my leftover Once Upon a Family supplies, sell off my stained glass supplies. Taken with the clean sweep of the shed and garage we did over Memorial Day I'm sure you can see a trend... I want the clutter gone.

We've also had fun! Our annual camping trip with forever friends which I already posted about, and then just last weekend I went to Colorado to have a girls' weekend with a few friends. We had so much fun, that deserves a post all its own.

I caved to peer pressure and set up a facebook page, and well I've been surprised at how much fun that's been. I've been on MySpace for a while, but I kind of like the simplicity of facebook and reading the quick updates. And the flair!

My landscaping projects (big words for my desire to get anything along the front of the house besides weeds) have never evolved. The girls and I planted seeds but they were never transplanted so they finally protested and died. We do have a thriving tomato plant with lots of little green tomatoes which we have to give away. Want some?

I love tomatoes but I'm the only one who eats them in this family. And now even I can't have them, so really the tomato plant is pointless. I went to the Born Clinic to finally have allergy testing and find out the cause of my chronic headaches. It has been years now of almost daily low-grade headaches, and at times very severe ones. I don't complain, I ignore it. But having seen how their treatments helped Kristen, I've decided to pony up the cash and see if they can help me.

I had a boatload of blood drawn and fortunately a lot of stuff was eliminated as being the cause of my issues. My thyroid is fine, adrenals, etc. But other hormones were realllllly low. Progesterone? Almost non-existant. So I have to take 8 vitamin pills a day and use a progesterone cream twice a day. Funny story about that- seems my Rx insurance co-pay is $10 more that paying for the progesterone out of pocket. So glad we pay for that privelege. (Oh, I really am, but stuff like this comes up and I say WTF?)

I learned that I have a ton of food sensitivities. I have a candida issue and a script for 3 weeks of diflucan. For the next three months I need to eliminate broccoli, carrot, cauliflower, cottage cheese, cocoa, corn, dill, gluten, milk, black pepper, rye, safflower, sesame, tomato, wheat, yeast (baker's and brewer's), yogurt. On top of these, I need to eliminate anything that is made with them (from gluten: beer, baked goods, cereal/pasta/soup that contains barley, oats, rye or wheat, batter dipped or breaded foods, bulgur, couscous, durum, farina, graham flour, kamut, malt, malt beverages/extract/flavoring/vinegar, oats, rye, semolina, spelt, tritcale, wheat, dextrin, hydrolyzed vegetable protein, some lunch meats, modified food starch, some salad dressings/seasonings; from yeast: all alcoholic beverages, all cheese, honey, many condiments, mushrooms, green olives, sourdough, sugar cane, vinegar). Even though I got these results over a week ago, I decided to wait until I got back from Colorado to start the elimination diet. Can you imagine a girls' weekend with no wine, alcohol, or chocolate? I couldn't either!

Yesterday was my first day and I did ok. I ate some nuts and watermelon for breakfast, an order of BK apple fries (no caramel) for snack, a baked sweet potato for lunch drizzled with a tiny bit of olive oil and lemon juice and sprinkled with coarse salt and garam masala. For dinner I had a banana and two grilled Jamaican jerk turkey burgers topped with a salsa made from honeydew melon, orange, onion, zucchini, and a squeeze of lime. Lots of water and a glass of orange mango juice. I really need to shop because I don't much in the way of food that doesn't contain at least one taboo item. That is on my agenda for this afternoon, if I ever get around to pulling my coupons.

That's right, still copuon shopping. Last I added it all up I was at over $2000 in savings for the year. Still loving Rite Aid. My rebate check this month was over $55 and I've spent about $35 there so far this month and earned another $20 in rebates. It is almost like being paid to shop. Grocery lists are tanking though, so we'll see if my savings continues there. Plus with my new diet, I'll basically be eating meat and lemons for the next three months. I won't punish everyone else in the house by forcing my diet on them, but I also won't be stocking up on my own favorites for them, ya know? No pizza for three months... my kids couldn't handle that.

Well, that is enough of the boring update for now. Off to get the munchkins ready for pool school. Don't eat any twinkies while I'm gone, ok?

Re: look alike meters

stargazer.studio@gmail.com (~ pam) — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 13:57:00 +0000

That was fun, but they aren't very accurate. Anyone who sees us will say that Princess looks like me, Small Fry looks like her dad. Oh well, it was cheap amusement!

If you haven't played aound with the face recognition utility at myheritage.com, it is a fun diversion. Especially when you are missing your kids at camp all week and the only phone calls coming in are from charities wanting donations, political candidates wanting votes, or telemarketers of some sort.

Tomorrow afternoon I'll have my nest re-feathered and I won't have time for such silliness.

Sayer Look-alike Meter

stargazer.studio@gmail.com (~ pam) — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 12:26:00 +0000

MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Dynasty - Ancestory