Training, Diabetes & Life

Only

2013-03-04T18:00:00.000-05:00

Four years. Only four years. How much can you change when you haven't seen your best friend in four years? Knowing you'll never see them again. Only in memories. Only in dreams. Only when you pay attention to the little signs the universe shows you they are still around. Only.

Some of you who know me now never met her. You might see pictures I post or hear a story I'll tell. But those of you who did know her, who got a chance to meet her, well, you know how much I loved her.

I was not a triathlete four years ago. I was not an Ironman two times over. I was not a coach. She was with me though. In my first sprint, I saw the signs at my first half Ironman and we ran together in Lake Placid - my first Ironman. Every time I cross a finish line I send her a kiss. Triathlon and reading were my ways was of coping with her absence. Now triathlon is a way of life.

Four years. Only four years. She knew how much I loved her too. You see she told me. She showed me. In her last days, she showed me...

I had to carry her up and down the stairs each day for her walks. I was used to it though because the stairs had become difficult in her old age so carrying her became part of the daily routine. Except in these last days she was dead weight. Sixty pounds of dead weight is heavy but it didn't matter. My discomfort was secondary to her.

I carried her up the stairs from our walk outside, heading straight to the living room because my sister and friend were coming over to say goodbye. I set her down on the floor, "I'll be right back with your food and water". We looked at each other - her eyes cloudy with age, mine full of tears. I smiled bravely but my heart was breaking.

I backed out and ran into my room to get some tissue because I could feel myself starting to choke on my tears. I wanted to be brave for her. For every time she was there when I needed her. Fifteen years was quickly coming to an end.

I walked back into the kitchen stopping in my tracks. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. She was struggling to get her balance as she hoisted herself up from the floor. She looked at me and walked into the kitchen on wobbly legs. My legs were cemented to the floor. She made her way to her dishes and ate out of her bowl. She hadn't walked or eaten on her own in three days. She ate the entire dish then turned and looked at me as if to say "See? I'm okay. I'll be okay". I walked over to her, tears spilling down my face faster than I could swipe them away, dropping to my knees I hugged her. "Thank you" I whispered into her velvet ears.

Four years. Only four years. It's a long time and yet it feels like that memory happened last night. It's been awhile since I saw a sign of her being near. But maybe that's because lately she hasn't strayed far from my thoughts.

Only in memories.
Only in dreams.
Only.

Why am I doing this?

2012-10-08T01:39:00.002-04:00

Training!

Here's the deal...I have an Ironman on November 25th in Cozumel Mexico (I know can it get any sweeter?!) so my training is at it's crunch time now - I have 6 weeks. Just as everyone's tri season is at an end mine is at it's peak. The bright side is that most of my friends are training for marathons so I can at least get them to meet up for weekend runs. Even if we're not the same pace agreeing to meet them commits me and gets me out the door and this is great riding weather for cycling so I'm grateful to have cycling buddies still on the road.

For the last few months I have been struggling, really struggling with wanting to train. I took the entire June/July off of swimming (something I love to do), I barely ran (bane of my existence) but I did keep up with cycling (my true love). At a truly low point I questioned if I really wanted to do this IM (Ironman). I was constantly asking myself what was my purpose in training for a second IM? Because let me tell you, there is a difference between training for your first, your second and I'm going to take a gander and say any other IM repeat.

In my first IM I was trying to prove to myself that I can do this hard as hell feat. And I did, I proved to myself and everyone that I could become an Ironman athlete. However, the second is a different story. I've already proven I can do it, so why do I have to do another? Why do I want to do another? What's my motivation? Where does my drive come from? Hard questions indeed. Jordan Rapp said in one of his blogs "But getting to the starting line is often just as - if not more - difficult than getting to the finish line". No truer words could have been written for me this year.

In mid August I went to IM Mont Tremblant for the weekend to train and support my good friend Seb. Being surrounded by the IM buzz and excitement made me realize I wasn't ready to give up the IM journey. I'm not a quitter and if I were to stop...well...I know others would understand but I would feel like I gave up on myself.

Two weeks after IM Mont Tremblant I went to Boise Idaho to train and decompress at my coaches house (yes him and his wife are that awesome). I had a solid 8 days of swimming and running that first week in September. It was the perfect jump start I needed in order to get back into the training groove. I had not been consistent so to get my endorphins every day, to sweat and stretch, to sleep. It was heaven. I truly enjoyed myself and was ready to get back home to train.

Now that I'm back in the thick of it all, it feels good to have a routine and structure. WHY do I ever stop?!?

Have I discovered what motivates me? Where my drive comes from? Why I feel the need to sign up for IM distance? I think I'm starting to get a clue. I know I have consistency issues and I can (and DO) fall off the training wagon...that is a constant thing I'm trying to work on, maybe I always will. Training for an event of this magnitude requires a lot of planning and making deals with myself (I must have been a lawyer in my past life), figuring out who I can get to go with me for workouts or swim classes. Because let's face it, it's a hell of a lot more fun to be in pain with friends then flying solo. I like going long, that's why I'm interested in half iron or iron distance triathlons. In my quest to figure out the why - I am realizing it's not just triathlon I'm interested in going long with. I want to hike the Grand Canyon rim to rim, I want to swim a 3-6 mi open water swim (OWS). I want to do a marathon trail race. Going long. Pushing myself mentally beyond what I think possible. Yes, I'm an endurance junkie.

Chris Macca on ITU vs IM distance Triathlete magazine

Despite completing an Ironman last year I am still very new to the triathlon world and the consistent training that it involves. The biggest thing I'm learning on this IM journey is that I need to make sure I'm doing it (Ironman) for the right reasons. That I never feel like it's "work", because I'm not getting paid to do this. I'm paying to do it! It's okay to take breaks from training but not too long. It's okay to still be trying to figure out what kind of athlete I am and where my strengths are within each discipline. It doesn't happen overnight (as much as I want it to), and the process is painfully long...but so is the race. What I am 100% sure of is crossing the finish line makes all this hemming and hawing seem trivial and inconsequential. Crossing the finish line makes you appreciate the magic in the world. The race is physical of course but it's mostly mental.

I guess I am learning a few things on this journey.

Can't Forget...

2012-09-11T05:16:00.001-04:00

Her boys

Me and my sis Aurie!

I just came back from some R&R and training in Boise. My flight was supposed to land at 11:40pm on September 10th. I chose my return trip home on the 10th so I wouldn't have to fly in or out of NYC on 9-11. Things don't always go as planned do they? I had a delay in departure and my original two and a half layover turned into four and a half hours. I didn't mind because I got to spend time with my older sister and nephews who live in Utah. It was and is the best way to spend a layover.

However, as my plane touched ground and I was able to turn my phone on to (of course) check Facebook and see what happened in the hours since disconnection; my iPhone was flooded with images and messages of 9-11 remembrance. Being on the plane, coming out of the airport with the clear early morning (2am) night skies, crescent moon shining and the tower at the airport shining red,white and blue stripes. Reminders.

I'm lucky because I didn't know anyone who died because of the attack. I'm grateful because of it. And yet...I am always deeply saddened by this day. I have never been able to watch the movies and documentaries that have been made regarding that day. I try to block it. I feel a little guilty for saying that but I do. I don't want to think about the loss. The devastation. How things changed.

So many lives around the world were affected by it.

On the day it occurred I was home sleeping (did I not have a job or something?) My mom had just gotten back from dropping my sister Crystal off at school. In Manhattan. At the time we were living in Red Hook Brooklyn. You could see the city skyline and the towers from just a few blocks away. My mom ran into my room and told me to turn the TV on, that a plane had crashed into the towers. I thought it was a joke or that it was yet another movie scene being filmed in NYC. But no, it was real. I could smell the smoke in my bedroom.

My sister wound up having to walk home over the Brooklyn Bridge but she was ok. And while she was doing that my mom and I were watching the second tower collapse before our eyes on-screen. Tears streaming down our faces.

Photo at the top of the Twin Towers

I was in shock. I couldn't believe it. Didn't want to believe it. The night before I had gone with my girlfriend and my dog Val to Coffey pier to look at the towers, smoke some pot (yup I did that then) and share some laughs. It was a beautiful night. I used to go to that Pier a few times a week with Val. I always made it a point to look to my left at the Verrazano Bridge, straight ahead to the Statue of Liberty and I always saved the best for last...looking to my right at the Twin Towers. I remembered as a kid I went to the top of the tower with my sisters and my dad. I still have that picture on my dresser - both the towers and my dad are no longer part of this world.

Never again would I see them. You take things for granted. I know I did. I know I do. But I'm glad I was able to share the night before lives were forever altered, by recognizing the simple beauty of the city skyline with my girlfriend and my dog.

I'm glad no one I know died.

I have friends who have served in the military. I have friends who are currently serving in the military. Friends in the NYPD and the FDNY and...I forget. It took a new friendship I came across through a writing class to remind me what it's like for families in the military. To remind me that yeah I DO know people overseas. I can't even try to imagine what it's like to have that be your job. I have no concept. It scares the shit out of me. Whoever signs up to be part of any form of military or state government has a lot of balls.

So, with my rambling where does this leave me? Yes September 11th makes me sad, but it also makes me appreciate my military friends who are currently active and who have served in the past. My friends and family who are part of the NYPD and FDNY. NYC and myself were forever changed on 9-11 and as much as I've tried in the past to block it, well, living here you can't. There are reminders everyday; so instead of trying to block it I'll try understanding and appreciating a little more.

Jump, Climb, Crawl

2012-02-21T15:54:00.000-05:00

It's scary. You try not to panic. Try not to overwhelm yourself with the fear. You feel your throat closing in and at the same time it feels as though someone has a piece of fabric around your neck tightening from behind. Slowly.

Take a couple of deep breaths but you have to use your shoulders and kinda lift your whole upper body to do it. Take two puffs. There that should make it better. Please make it work. Wait a few minutes...shit. It's not working.

Don't panic. Two more puffs. That doesn't work? Go to plan B. Ahh the sweet relief. Those puffs of white air never looked so good. Damn asthma attacks.

Don't think about having to deal with this and the betes. It's ok. You'll learn to manage. That's the only thing you can do. Learn to manage and jump, climb, crawl over these obstacles that seem to always want to get in your way.

Diabetes. Stress fractures. Life. Asthma. Who the fuck cares. I'm not a quitter and that's all that matters. 16:55:09

Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragement, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak. ~Thomas Carlyle

Touching the stars

2011-12-31T19:46:00.000-05:00

Death Valley salt flat

The year is quickly coming to an end but I could not let it pass without expressing my deep gratitude to all of you for helping me through the few lows and sharing the joy of the many highs this year brought. My two greatest achievements this year: First, after 1 1/2yrs of planning and training I reached for the stars by completing my first Ironman in July, you can read all about it here. Second, after completing my first JDRF Ride to Cure event six years ago I wished upon a star and imagined one day riding as a coach. This year I did it all.

Death Valley seemed a little daunting but who doesn't like a challenge like desert heat and the word "death" thrown in there? I wanted to take it on especially if I could do it as an Ironman. Like Rocky Balboa climbing the top of the stairs, I envisioned battling the desert heat an Ironman champion. After July's success I knew I would be going to the desert an Ironman, things were starting to fall into place. I studied for my Level 3 USA Cycling test and passed (yay!), our team went on a (mentally reassuring) final ride before our bikes were shipped and a week later we were desert bound! I was excited and nervous because I was going as a coach with 10 other teammates who were looking up to me to guide them to their goal. No pressure. No pressure at all.

Badwater

Death Valley was absolutely amazing. Beauty that I can't describe. Silence like you've never heard before, it was deafening and humbling by its greatness. Oh and let's not forget about that heat. Normally temperatures in October are in the 80's - 90's, this weekend proved to be record setting with temperatures over 90 and reaching 100 degrees. Forget about what people say, dry heat is still quite hot especially when its 100 degrees.

My team made me speechless by their support of me as their coach and for becoming an Ironman, I knew I could not fail them. Ride morning brought a change of course due to the extreme temperatures, though the course was flat we were battling the elements and our mental fortitude. Two of the biggest obstacles an athlete can face. Despite that my team and the other 300+ riders were smiling with determined faces ready to take on the challenge.

The day unfolded successfully despite temperatures hitting a scorching 112 degrees. I rode with

Our 100 mile route

many first time riders swapping life and diabetes stories, training advice, received some coaching advice from the veteran coaches and I gave a mother some perspective on her sons diabetes management, her heartfelt thank you brought a smile to my soul. Last but certainly not least I was able to witness my team achieve their goals. I was so proud to help lead two of them to their goal of riding their first 100 miles. As I write this I get chills thinking about it. I finally understood my coaches and how they used to tell me my success was their's. The pride I felt towards my team was nothing I'd ever felt before. I was grateful to have been part of their milestone weekend.

After I crossed the finish line, my mentor and dear friend stopped to tell me how proud he was of me, that I still had to learn a few things but most of all he reminded me how far I had come in such a short time and I should be proud of myself. Not sure if he knew it but his words meant the world to me.

JDRF Ride to Cure is my family an extension of myself, I hope you know how much your support each year means to us and that by default you are part of the family.

The year has been full of successful adventures and I'm looking forward (as I hope you are) to many more future adventures. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for helping me reach my wishes upon a star.

Happy new year!

Love,

All smiles post 100 miles

Jen

Me and the girls their 1st JDRF wknd!

Conquering Death Valley & Diabetes

2011-08-22T01:30:00.000-04:00

Hello friends and family!

Much has happened since last we spoke. Though off to a rough start the year has transformed into something spectacular. I turned 30, I traveled to the northwest and fell in love with a little state called Idaho and most of all I trained like you couldn't imagine and made a dream of mine become a reality. I covered 140.6 miles consisting of a 2.4mi swim; 112mi bike and 26.2mi run in 16hrs 55min 9sec and became an IRONMAN!! As if that's not enough I had another HUGE goal this year. I wanted to conquer the desert as an Ironman and with YOUR help I will.

On Saturday October 15th I will take part in my 6th JDRF Ride to Cure Diabetes and ride 100 miles in Death Valley California. Death Valley is a place for extremes and is one of the hottest, driest and lowest points in North America with the lowest point being 282 feet below sea level and average temperatures being 115 degrees. Talk about extremes! However, that seems to be the thing I'm into these days, pushing myself physically and mentally to the edge all while managing diabetes. But WHY am I doing this? WHY do I ride for JDRF each year? Because I believe in them. The monies I raise each year will eventually lead to a cure, it funds more type 1 diabetes research than any other charity worldwide and it's making progress along many promising paths toward better treatments and a cure. That being said, the most tangible thing JDRF and The Ride to Cure program delivers is getting you involved within the diabetic community. It is an essential part of good management.

I've been living with type 1 for 16 years and until I became involved in JDRF Ride to Cure 6 years ago I didn't know what it meant to have friends with diabetes. Once you get involved you realize the diabetic community is huge and so supportive of one another because we are showing ourselves and the world that even though we have this disease that is with us 24 hours a day 7 days a week 365 days a year WE CAN. You can think of diabetes as an endurance sport. Some days are good. Some days just suck. But you put a smile on your face and keep plugging along, practice what works and change what doesn't. You keep moving forward. One pedal stroke at a time. That's what I'm doing. One scientific advancement at a time. That's what JDRF is doing.

My goal is to raise $4,000 before October 15th, all monies donated are tax deductible and anything you can send will help me in achieving my goal. I'm an endurance athlete, a lover of the sport and diabetes doesn't stop me; but we need to stop diabetes together. THANK YOU for helping not just me but EVERYONE affected by diabetes!!

You can make donations by clicking here.

All my love,
Jen

Taper Tales

2011-08-18T17:00:00.000-04:00

I know many of you have done this before but I thought you'd get a nice laugh, lesson and smile out of my little taper tale. It is inspired by all my friends racing within the next two weeks at Timberman 70.3 and Ironman Canada. I will start off by simply saying:

I'm a newbie that's my defense! :)

And so the story goes...

I come off a great big 10 day training block before Ironman Lake Placid, about 3wks until race day. I have a recovery week followed by 2week taper, where my training starts to slow down and my legs start to feel super pressurized. I think you could have taken a pin and stuck them and I would have deflated. Swollen, heavy, pressurized legs. Did I mention I'm tired? "Oh lord why is this happening to me 2 weeks before my BIG day, the ONLY race on my calendar?!"

Mr. Paranoia and Mrs. Doubts start knocking on my door and of course I answer. I mean, how could I not right?

I continue to swim, bike and run but I feel like crap. I'm just going through the motions. My legs could explode at any moment.

Mr. Paranoia and Mrs. Doubts have a neighbor they wanted me to meet, her name? Why let me introduce to you Miss Panic (last name) Mode.

Miss Panic Mode and I made a few calls, sent a few emails, checked to make sure I had a pulse in my legs and then proceeded to go to the doctor to get blood work because, well, their HAD to be some chemical imbalance. Their HAD to be some reason as to why I was fine training the most I'd ever done and felt great each day to going the extreme opposite within a matter of days that felt like an eternity. Right? My friends who had much more experience than me said it was all part of the taper. Really? REALLY?!

After about 8 days of torture I went for my last hard run before race day (same day as blood work). Guess what? That run felt awesome. Hot as hell but awesome. Next morning I wake up and I thought maybe the pressurized cannonballs aka my legs were starting to feel a little better.

Off to work I go and I get a phone call from docs office telling me everything came back normal. Of course it did. Miss Panic mode had to leave, she had someone else to go visit. I email with my closest friend Mr. Google and he shared with me a taper article by famous World Champion Mark Allen after reading that article, I think I started to feel better.

Later that night I talk to my coach and express how Miss Panic mode came to visit but he explained everything to me and told me when I'd feel 100% better. Guess when? 2 days before the race. Yup you read that right. 2 days. Oh lord. I still had a week to go. Hanging up with my coach I felt 10x better. The weights on my shoulders were slowly being lifted.

But wait! There's a knock at the door. I'm not sure I want anymore visitors. It's Mr. Paranoia and Mrs. Doubts and of course I answer. I mean, how could I not right? They had a card and a gift for me, it was my reward for passing (though barely) the unwritten test. I had to wait until 2 days before the race to read the card but I could open the gift now (yippeee!) What they gave me was a blanket, one of those big comfy blankets it had all of my favorite colors; yellows, oranges, blues and greens. Kind of like a rainbow. As soon as I saw it I smiled. I wrapped it around me and it lifted my spirits I just KNEW everything would be ok. My race would be ok. I finally believed what everyone had been telling me. I was fine, it was just part of the taper.

The next day I still had my blanket wrapped around me but no one could see it. It reminded me of Harry Potters invisible cloak. I knew it was there. I could FEEL it. But no one else could. I named my blanket Magic. I know it sounds crazy right? MAGIC? Come on. I believed in magic. I knew everything would be great, not just for me but for my friends who were racing with me. I could FEEL it.

Two days before the race I opened the card (did you really think I'd forget?) it read:

The unwritten test is called the taper. Many will think the hardest part is answering to the physical ailments. While a major component in the taper, it is not the hardest part. The hardest part in the taper test cannot be held or touched. It is a feeling. It is learning to push past all the doubts that will surface, and the many fears that will start jumping out. It is believing and trusting in yourself. Your coach. Your training and all your hard work (well so long as you DID the work). You must rest (sleep/easier less stressful days) especially the week leading up to the race (I know you've heard it/read it a thousand times). The taper teaches you how to adapt to stress both physically and mentally like that on race day. Successful completion of the taper results in the magic coming forth in whatever shape for each person. Successful taper means your chomping at the bit and feel fully rested come race day. It is your day. Reap the rewards and smile the entire way!!! Smiling makes all the pain go away and helps others around you.

Rest easy my friends, tapers almost over and the magic is all around!

What now?

2011-08-07T23:08:00.000-04:00

Two weeks ago today I was racing my first Ironman in Lake Placid, but now that it's over what happens now? I've heard and read about "post Ironman blues" but I'm pretty sure I don't have it. I mean how could I possibly be "blue" when I'm still riding the high of my race? Yes, I am STILL wearing my athlete wristband despite my number rubbing off. However, the words IRONMAN still display prominently. I'll take it off today since I feel 2 weeks is long enough (well not really but...). Back to my original question, what happens now? What have I been doing in these last 2 weeks?

Remembering that day...and smiling...a lot :)
Watching movies
Eating lots of popcorn (with extra butter in the middle AND on top)
Staying up late
Sleeping late
Catching up with friends/family
Reflecting on what I did and how I can change things to improve for the next race
Planning for next years races
Thinking about my next IM and where I'll do it

The list can go on and on but I think the last half are what's helping me to not get the dreaded "Ironman blues". I've got other stuff to look forward to. To be quite honest I knew before I raced LP that I'd be doing another. I love going long and I love training. Two key ingredients in the Ironman recipe.

My coach told me he wouldn't give me a schedule for 2 weeks after the race. Normally he'll give his athletes a month off, they can do whatever they want. One week after Ironman I emailed him begging for a schedule. I felt like a drug addict begging for a fix. I had to wait another week. I swam one time in the last two weeks. That's it. I feel like a fat bastard. I need some structure in my life! Left to my own devices I WILL do nothing and the further away I get from training daily the harder it is to get back in the groove.

I have two events planned within the next two months then I'm done until next year.

September 25 my 1st trail race (10miles) in Mohonk Preserve.
October 15th my annual JDRF 100 mile charity ride in Death Valley CA (stay tuned for my donation letter/email/video). I'm SO excited for this event!!!! Taking part in these rides is SPECTACULAR!!

I'm looking forward to the next few months of learning how to trail run and also building on my bike base. Oh how I love to ride!

Happy training and reading folks!
Jen

Ironman Lake Placid Swim

2011-07-31T21:50:00.000-04:00

3am my alarm goes off and I snooze it for about 10min before waking up to the biggest day of my life. Ironman Lake Placid. I chose to wake up early so that I could eat my breakfast and give a normal insulin dose without having any insulin on board by race start. Upon waking my BS was 144. Perfect. It goes great with my small breakfast of Banana, 1 slice of bread with PB and 1 1/2c of coffee with cream. Total bolus was 4.50units (.50 for BS correction). I was feeling rested despite only getting 5hrs of sleep; I knew all week I had made my 8hr per night sleeps so I WAS rested. I felt very emotional and was starting to get nervous when we were all getting ready to leave. I couldn’t relax and my heart rate was at 100bpm, I felt like I couldn’t catch a deep breath. Yes, I was FREAKING out. I couldn’t quite grasp that this day had finally come after 2 years of planning. After a hug and a short cry with my dear friend Danni we were off to the race!
First thing was to drop our special needs bags off at their designated spots, then double checking everything was in my bike/run bags before continuing on to where our bikes were racked. It was very early so we didn’t have to worry about the crowds just yet. After pumping my tires, putting some lube on Starlite’s chain and wiping her down (it had poured the night before) I was good to go get body marked. I felt a little off with my BS so I checked and I was 75. That’s a very low number and I felt like I was still dropping. I was grateful I remembered to pack an extra GU just in case. As we were leaving the bike area the line of athletes entering the arena was very long. Again I was happy I got there early to alleviate the stress. I was happy to see my two teammates Miriam and Len and wish them luck as they were entering the arena. I felt so cool getting body marked. It’s a really nice feeling and it was simply COOL to have my race number written on my arms and legs and my age on the back of my calves. Off to the swim start!

heading over to change into wetsuit IMLP

As Danni and I were heading to the swim start and looking for our other friends I wasn’t feeling good so I checked again and I was now 65 at 6am. I had to eat that GU. I didn’t understand why I was low when I gave the correct amount of insulin for my small meal a few hours earlier. It was frustrating to say the least; I just needed to bring it up. We were able to talk to a TT1 (Team Type 1) athlete for a few minutes and then go hang out with my other group of friends who were racing. I was very happy to be able to see my old bike coach and good friend Danny as he was walking with his athletes. He gave me a hug and told me how proud he was of me. It’s a comforting feeling to have your coach give you a hug even if he’s no longer coaching you. When you think about it, any of your coaches throughout your life will ALWAYS be your coach. Doesn’t matter where you are or who your current coach is. I was ok mentally at this point. I mean THIS WAS IT! Put on our wetsuit, check my BS one more time, set pump to 50% temp basal and head to the water at 6:45am. My final BS before getting in the water was 145. Perfect! I had another GU before I got in the water. This was my original plan, 1 GU before I start and 1 at the 1.2-mile mark. I’ve raced this way before and trained this way. It should work.

All smiles

Water temp was 77 degrees and wetsuit optional, of course I was wearing mine, I needed any help I could get! There were about 2500 athletes in the water. My friends and I gave each other one final group hug and kiss in the water before we swam to the middle of the start. It was game time and I was focused. I was here in the water, about to embark on the hardest physical challenge of my life. I was ready.

Gun goes off and it’s pure chaos. Swimmers were swimming over your legs, arms were getting tangled, you were getting elbowed, kicked, I just tried to keep going forward, stroke, kick, sight, repeat. A couple of times I thought I’d be at the bottom of the lake because I was getting sucked under. My goggles got knocked off my face and one of my earplugs got loose but I corrected it all. All I could think was “geez are ALL IM swims like this?!” I decided I wanted to get to the line. I knew if I got to the yellow cable that runs across the lake I’d be ok. It’s a security blanket. So I started swimming to my extreme left, it was crazy but I made it to the cable about halfway before the turn point. There were a lot of swimmers on the line but I could keep my own and I didn’t feel as though it were so bad. I felt comfortable in the water, and could definitely feel the draft. As you get closer to shore you could hear the cheers and Mike Reilly announcing us coming out of the water. It was awesome, I felt good coming out of the water but decided to check my BS. As soon as I came out of the water I sucked down a GU and checked my BS. Making this stop cost me time, almost 2min. I had gotten out of the water at about 40min and by the time I got back in it was 42min. BS was high. I was 240. Shit. WHY didn’t I wait to have that GU??!! Run back in the water and I go straight for the line. I did not pick my head back up until I was coming out of the water again. I was hoping my BS had come down. I was also hoping I had a negative split but wasn’t sure. Best of all I was done with the 1st leg of the race. WHOOOOOHOOOO! Yes these were things that were running through my head. I got to see my friends and teammates cheering for me on the sidelines as I was running to T1. I felt great. The crowds were amazing!

Final swim time: 2.4 miles 1:25:07 2:14/100m

Nutrition:

3:30am BS 144
Breakfast: banana, 1 slice of bread with PB, coffee with cream
4.50units of insulin (.50 for BS correction)

3 GU’s
1 @ 6am for low BS of 65
1 right before start at 6:45am I also started my temp basal of 50% reduction at 6:30am
1 @ 1.2mi mark

Ironman Lake Placid Bike

2011-07-31T21:44:00.000-04:00

After running through the swim chute and the cheering crowds I made it to my bike bag and headed to the women’s changing tent where a wonderful volunteer helped me with everything. I checked my BS first. 308. Damn. I finish dressing and cancel the temp basal I had going for the swim so during the ride I’m at normal basal. I punch my combo bolus into my pump for the foods I was going to eat on the bike. I was supposed to give myself 30units over 7hours; I was thinking I would be done with bike within 7hrs 45min. So rather than give 30 units to avoid a low later in the bike I gave myself 25units over 7hrs with 5% upfront and 95% over the 7hrs. I run across the field to Starlite and then head out. Right as I was getting on my bike I saw Danny again and he was telling me to take it easy, don’t worry, take it slow at the beginning. Again, he was the calm comforting voice I needed to hear.

I knew I needed to spin my legs and drink my Nuun water in the first 10 miles. Don’t push it. The first 7miles are uphill followed by the 7mile descent. I had my Dexcom CGM hooked up and it was alarming with arrows going up and my BS saying 300. I pull over to check at around mile 5 at 9:15am and I’m 331. “What to do, what to do”. I decide to give myself 1.2 units of a correction because I’m still climbing and the only active insulin on board is for the food I haven’t yet started to eat. And I needed to eat. Remember what my coach Tom said: eat as much of my solid foods at the beginning of the bike because later in the day my stomach wouldn’t be able to tolerate it. I cross the timing mat around mile 30 and feel really good, I had checked my BS right before that point and I was 179 but with arrows now coming straight down. I didn’t realize this then but I had dropped 150 points within an hour. That’s way too much too fast a drop. I finish the first loop very strong and my legs felt great, I was able to keep my cadence up around 90rpm’s for the entire loop dropping down to 85 on climbs. I was so happy I had changed my rear cassette to an 11-28. Climbing up the last hills in the first loop I could see all the written words of encouragement written by spectators; one of the funniest things written on that final hill was: “Remember…you PAID to do this” I thought that was hilarious. I was all smiles seeing my friends at the top of the hill; my friends Seb and Sarah were there to greet me, Sarah started running alongside me cheering that I was doing great. I was stellar. Felt strong. I could do another loop no problem.

I stop at the special needs bags to switch bottles and get more nutrition, I started to ride away and had to go back because I FORGOT my bars. The whole reason I needed to stop in the first place. Back on track I start the second loop same way I started the first, spinning my legs and cheering my fellow racers. We were halfway through the bike! I see a fellow Tri Latino athlete and start talking to him. He had forgotten his salt pills at special needs. I offered him 6 of my pills since I knew I had more than I would need. He thanked me and said the Karma would come back tenfold; I had just saved his race. I was happy I could help and we part ways. I pull over to check my BS and I’m 120 at 11:55am with an arrow still coming down but now it seemed it was starting to slow down so I have a GU and continue to eat my Powerbar. Right before I start the downhill I check my BS one more time, I was concerned with being low on the descent, I check and I’m 148. Perfect. Get through the descent and start riding towards Jay and Upper Jay. This is a nice stretch of flat but I don’t feel ok. I start to feel a little wobbly on the bike and realize I must pull over my CGM is alarming and it says I’m low 50. I think it must be wrong. I see a race support vehicle and decide to stop near him. I check my BS and I’m 47. Crap. I checked my pump to see how far along my combo bolus was and I still had 5 more units to be delivered. I had 2.65 IOB (insulin on board). I cancelled the combo bolus. I thought I was going to die of hypoglycemia if I kept it going. This isn’t good. I have zero energy. No power. I suck down a GU, drink some of my EFS, and eat a banana the race support guy had given me. I saved the trail mix he gave me in case I needed it for later. I realized I was now at mile 75-80 and I couldn’t just wait until my BS went up. Even if I was going slower I needed to keep moving. Time was getting away from me.

Mile 110 speeding to the bike finish IMLP

The next 2 ½ hours were a major struggle. I knew I had no power because I couldn’t bring my cadence up above 80. I was fighting the battle of low BS. I kept on eating my powerbars but they were starting to make me nauseous. I didn’t know if this was from heat, low BS or the race itself. I started to eat my PB crackers instead and it helped immensely. I also was eating bananas from the aid stations. I still had no energy though. My BS went up to 102, then dropped back to 76, and then 82. I couldn’t bring it up. While those numbers are normal numbers they are not good numbers to be riding in for me. I need to be above 100. It’s physically draining to battle lows. Once I finished the last out and back I had about 13more miles til the bike was over. I stopped at a rest stop and the volunteers were amazing. I was so hot and the guy asked if I wanted water poured on my head. He saved me with that water and bananas. I left feeling restored. Best of all I could FEEL that my blood sugar had finally broken 100. I was riding at 115BS with a steady arrow on the CGM. It was crazy how one minute I wasn’t ok and I was battling it out with my BS but then I won! My energy came back, just in time too because the last 12 miles are hilly with Whiteface mountain my nemesis. I checked the time and knew I had to keep moving quickly because it was now 3:45pm. I was riding stronger, and coaxing my fellow racers to keep moving because we didn’t have that much time left. We couldn’t remember if the cut off time was 5:20 or 5:30. In my head I put it as 5:15 better to be safe than sorry. Climbing those final hills I was making each mile faster than the last. I finally get up the bears and see that funny inscription on the ground. No one is at the hill. I felt like I was flying on Northwood Rd. As I approach the house I rented I could see my group of friends and I could hear them: “is that her? It’s her!!” I flew past them shaking my head and rounding the corner into the last mile and a half of the bike. I had lost almost 30min dealing with those lows. It was close. No way did I come this far to fail and not make it to the run. I was making that bike cut off.

T1: 14:25

Final Bike Time: 112 miles 8:27:34 13.24avg mph

Bike Split 1 30mi: 30mi 1:52:50 15.9mph
Bike Split 2 86mi: 56mi 4:13:06 13.28mph
Bike Split 3 112mi: 26mi 2:21:29 11.03mph

BS Info: Full basal and a combo bolus of 20.65 units 5%:95% (had put in 25u but cancelled 5units due to low)

8:50am 308
9:15am 331
10:10am 340
11:05am 179
11:55am 120
12:50pm 148
1:45pm 47
2:20pm 102
2:50pm 76
3:05pm 82
3:45pm 115

Nutrition: 2760 calories

4 bottles of EFS = 3 scoops for 3 bottles and 2.5 for one bottle = 275g carbs
3-4 bottles of Nuun water
1 bottle plain water
2 bananas = 40g carbs
5 Powerbars = 225g carbs
1pkg of PB crackers = 25g carbs
5 GU’s = 125g carbs
2 salt pills (just for good measure hehe)

Ironman Lake Placid Run

2011-07-31T21:36:00.002-04:00

I speed into T2 with the fear that I’m still not going to make the cut off, because I wasn’t sure if you needed to be on the run course by 5:30 or simply off the bike. Now I know you just need to be off the bike. The volunteers grab my bike from me and I run to get my run gear bag and change into my compression socks and sneakers. Thank goodness I had Vaseline in there…definitely had some chafing I needed to fix. I changed my insulin pump settings down to a 80% reduction so I was taking 20% of my normal basal. I know other T1’s told me I might not need ANY insulin for the run or maybe only 10% but I know I need something higher than that so I kept it at 20% and would keep it that way for the entire race. I made one final stop to the bathroom before heading out. I felt good, my legs felt fresh, and of course I had the cheering crowds to make me feel even better. To top it off my BS was a perfect 90, a great number to run with. Even though it was later in the day it was still hot. For the first 2 aid stations I took their cold, water soaked sponges and wet my head and chest. My plan was to run in z2 or pace of 13:30-14:00 and walk the aid stations. Well, that didn’t quite go according to plan. I was slower, and I was only running ¾ of a mile and walking. My pace was slower at around 16min mi., then I’d run and get it back to 13min mi but I wasn’t as consistent. I also thought I felt a blister coming on within the first 4 miles. Oh lord. It would be a long night. BUT a couple of things happened that would repeat in my head for the entire marathon.

I saw a bunch of QT2 racers throughout the day and then kept seeing them on the run and thought of Cait Snow and my friend PJ and how they run. Their form. I decided in that first 5 miles to change my run form. I know, I know, you never try anything new right before an A race let alone the DAY OF the race. But I did. I changed my form. I kept my arms glued to my sides pumping them forward and back. I also took shorter, quicker strides. So for my usual 2 strides I was now taking 4. Now I know I’m not fast, and running is my weakest link but this approach helped me and kept me going. Not once did I have shin issues, or tight calves, which has always happened in training.
The second thought that kept playing in my head was my T1 friend Shannon, and how she crossed the finish line in her first Ironman with blisters and raw feet galore. If she could do it - I could do it. Besides I wasn’t even sure if I HAD a blister, it just felt like it. I was going to make it no matter what.
The final thoughts that played crucial throughout the marathon were the words from my coach Tom, my friend Igor and my “D” sister Denise (she was also racing and making her way to a PR!). EAT! Keep moving one foot in front of the other. Any run pace is faster than walking.

Those 3 big things would all be re-playing in my head. Within the first 10 miles of the race I was able to eat 1 banana, 4 GU’s, 6 orange slices, some grapes and a few pretzels. I saw many athletes on the side of the road doubled over or sitting down on the side barriers within that first loop. I now realize they must have been on their 2nd loop while I was on my first. I saw them and I Just. Kept. Moving. Never stop, don’t stop moving. I felt bad for them but what could I do? Coming back into town on the first loop was great but at the same time I kept on having the volunteers telling me that “I was almost done, you’re almost home” when sadly I was only just finishing my 1st loop. When I would correct them they would say, “you’ve got plenty of time 4 hours still”. However, while that seemed like a lot I was already calculating how I needed to pick up the pace and that I would be cutting it very close. The last 3 miles of the half marathon are great, you have lots of crowd support, and I was able to see my friends and teammates again. My new friend Sarah ran with me during miles 12 and 13. I was grateful. She was awesome and was cheering me and telling me how great I was and the next time she saw me I’d be crossing the finish line an Ironman. I was getting so choked up at that time that I had to fight back the tears because I couldn’t breath, cry and run at the same time. The emotion chokes you.

running through mile 14 IMLP

As I was running down mile 13 I remember telling my friend Seb as he was videotaping me that “this is hard”, he of course was laughing because he’s done it. Twice before and will be doing it again in August for IM Canada. Yes he’s another T1 too. We are all over spreading the good word about how cool it is to have diabetes and racing with it. I felt restored again, thanks to my friends and the crowds. Yes I was still smiling. As I approached mile marker 15 I remember seeing that sign in wonderment because I had never run that far. I thought that was pretty cool.

As I’m plodding along there are less and less people on the road. It was getting dark. I felt like the last person on the course. I was also getting nauseous again. I drank some of my Nuun water for the electrolytes but I remember I needed to eat something. There’s no nutrition in Nuun water. Miles 17-22 were the absolute worst miles of the race. I was on autopilot. One foot in front of the other. Eat a glucose tablet (it’s a simple sugar and would not upset my stomach). Sip some water. Drink some cola (I hate cola but it really did help). Drink chicken broth. If I walked I was trying to walk faster and then I’d just start running again. My quads would scream at the initial start but then they’d settle. Follow the white line in the road. That’s how I know I’m going straight. I’d look at my CGM to make sure I wasn’t low and it was a straight line of 100. Every time I’d pass an aid station they’d offer cookies, pretzels, bananas. I couldn’t even hear them say the word cookie and I wanted to gag. “How could anybody eat anything sweet?” I’d think. Just keep moving. I have to make it. I figured if I could get to the turnaround point by 10pm I’d be good because that means I just had 7miles to the finish. I could run 6miles in an hour. Hold on, Back up. Did I just say I could run 6 miles in an hour? Haha funny. Not even on a GOOD day have I ever been able to run 6 miles in an hour, there was no way in hell I was running 6 miles in an hour today. Let’s move that time to 10:20pm turnaround. That’s better, and I made it at that time too. I was running more. Remember what Tom said, any pace is faster than walking and he was/is right. Seeing that turnaround mat was like seeing the finish line. I was so frigging happy! Only 7 more to go!

I picked up the pace again and was with a group of other athletes (I guess I wasn’t alone), an official told us near mile 21 we needed to maintain a 16min mi pace in order to make it to the finish line. He said my run pace was good. I’d make it the way I was going. Phew! I was coming back to life. Still nauseous but I was doing better. I saw a woman running and leaning to the side and I felt bad for her, she was ahead of me but then I passed her. I was getting stronger. Oh god I just wanted to get to that last 3miles! I needed to make it. God I needed to make that time. It was going to be so close. Please don’t let me fail. Keep moving. Any pace is faster than walking. One foot in front of the other. As I was coming into town I could see finishers walking with their bikes, one woman who had been sitting on her lawn was cheering me. She remembered when I went out and told me then she’d stay until I passed again. And she did, she stayed on her lawn until 11pm when I passed. That emotion when I passed her choking me again. People telling me I was going to make it as I’m doing my short quick step run. Then we get to the hill leading up to Main Street. I started walking fast; I needed a break just for a second. I had another official tell me I needed to maintain a 16min pace in order to finish. I started running again. As I make the left onto Main Street still running up another hill I start panicking because I still have 2 more miles to go. It’s 11:25pm, oh my god I’m scared! Please let me make it. The few people who are still watching from the sidelines are cheering me, yelling “GOOOO BROOKLYN! You’re an Ironman! Keep going at that pace”. I didn’t believe them. Not yet. I still had 2 miles. Then a volunteer started running with me, I think her name was Joy. She started pacing me along with another guy who was volunteering. Joy was great. She was reminding me how I trained all year long for this, I was an Ironman, and I’ve got this. Keep moving those arms fast and my legs would go faster. Don’t stop. Mile 25 people were screaming my name “Jennifer is an Ironman! Go Brooklyn!” I saw my coach Danny again and he was telling me to keep moving! I’ve got this! My dear friend Danni was passing me in mile 26 (I was so happy she was making it!) and she yelled “JEN – RUN!!! DON’T STOP JEN!” That emotion was choking me again. I couldn’t breath. I needed a quick walk break again just for a second. My pacers gave it to me for 30seconds telling me to stride it out. They kept looking at their watches. Start running again. I was almost at the mat where I turnaround. Joy said: “that’s YOUR mat, run across and then it’s downhill, loosen up, breath in through your nose out through your mouth, fast arms, fast legs”. 1.2 miles to go. They gave me one final break of 30 seconds then I was running to the finish. No stopping. As I was running I could hear people screaming but it was almost distant because I was focused on the finish and just MOVING, RUNNING. I needed to make it. Then Danny ran next to me. Danny the comforting voice throughout my race. There at every point. He was screaming/yelling “Jen baby you got this! Don’t stop now!” Then he told me how proud he was of me and I was doing great, gave me a kiss and quick hug and I was off. My pacers telling me I was an Ironman. I was going to make it. That emotion choking me again. I still didn’t believe them. Not yet.

As I got into the last 200 yds officials stopped my pacers and told them they couldn’t go any further. I thanked them profusely (as I had been the entire time they ran with me), I saw my friends Jack and Sandra first screaming for me. The crowds of spectators were going CRAZY! I felt like I was flying. I saw my other friends and friends of friends in the crowds. My girls Jen, Dee and Cheryl. Seb and Sarah. I was running and giving high fives to everyone who had their hands outstretched. I was almost there. I could hear Mike Reilly through the screaming crowd announce my name and say “Jennifer Davino YOU. ARE. AN. IRONMAN!”

I believed him.

You can see me cross the finish line here

Overall Time: 16:55:09T2 12:13
Final Run Time: 26.2 miles 6:35:50 15.06/mi

BS Info: Temp basal reduced to 80% for entire run (so I was only taking 20% of normal basal), gave 1.70 units correction at 11:25pm because I was in the 200’s.

5:35pm 90
7:20pm 106
8:25pm 109
10:05pm 157
11:20pm 235

Nutrition Info:

1 bottle of Nuun water sipped throughout run
1 or 1½ banana
4 GU’s
6 grapes
6 slices of orange
Ice chips
7 glucose tablets
~4 ½ cups of cola
~4 ½ cups of chicken broth
1 salt pill (for good measure)

Tumbleweeds

2011-07-14T15:40:00.002-04:00

Will I survive the mass of bodies in Mirror Lake?

Will I make the bike cut off times?

Will my blood sugar cooperate?

Will my fueling plan work the same in training for the race?

Why did I miss those workouts?!

Did I train enough?

I haven't run a marathon. Will the pain I imagine be the same that I actually feel?

Will my now recovered fractured leg hold up?

Why did I feel great training 2 weeks ago and now my legs feel pressurized? Is this just part of the taper?

Will my body hold up?

Did I do everything I could have done to get the result I want?

Will I make the cut off times???!!

I don't want to let anyone down.

I'm scared.

I'm elated.

Can I actually DO this?

Will I cross that finish line?

The time is coming near and the questions are gathering like tumbleweeds in my head. The words I must repeat to myself to try and calm the mental storm, the words that will replay over and over in my head on race day: I WILL do this.

The little things...

2011-05-17T12:48:00.000-04:00

There is trust and honesty you have within yourself of both your mind and body, and a trust you have within your coach. Without it things might not ever "click" but with it...well with it everything just seems to fall into place. The thing is, the "falling into place" might not be the big and obvious but really all the little things that bring you to the big moment.

It's been a long time since I've last written. I've stopped and started so many posts at this point it seems why write about the past and all I've wanted to update you on. I'll just tell you what's happening right now. This past weekend I went away to OST training camp, my first of 3 different training camps leading up to Ironman in July. It was my first big volume weekend. I've only officially been back to training as of March 8th. That's when I got the all clear from my doc that my stress fracture was 95% healed. My coach gave me my cycling plan for March. Same workout each week on the trainer 3x per week. Each week I felt a little stronger. April began my PT sessions and for the last 3 weeks now I have started run/walk program, trying to figure out the right combination of run/walk ratios that I can stick to.

I've felt leading up to this weekend that I've been improving. I still have a very big fear of re-fracturing my leg during these last 2 months before the big day. I'm trying my best to not let it get to me. More importantly I'm learning to listen to my body. Aside from the obvious physical challenge, it's been more of a mental challenge dealing with an injury that affects a plan you've had in action for over a year. A few days before I left for camp I thought I felt something in my leg. I panicked. I called my doc. I spoke to my coach. I backed off running. Both my doc and coach didn't think I had re-injured. I didn't think I had re-injured because we have been slowly increasing my volume. Nothing has been rushed. But I thought I felt something. I told my coach that I was "aware" of my leg and "felt traumatized" by this stress fracture. It's scary. Simple as that. However, I went to the camp and did lots of riding and swimming - my two favorite sports.

Superheroes!

I learned a few things at the camp:

How to site in open water and continue to swim.
Things clicked a little more with what my coach has been telling me over the last year about base building.
I also figured out which heart rate I can continue to ride in and feel as though I can keep moving with little effort.
My biggest take away is that everyone is different. Triathlon is a sport that is great fun with a group but it's also a sport where you need to train on your own in order to get YOUR workout in.

I loved being out of the city, with friends, training and eating healthy. However, I got extremelly frustrated with myself at the camp. I kept thinking how could I possibly do Ironman if I feel so tired after 3 days of riding. I didn't even ride for hours on end either. 1hr on Friday, 3:30 on Saturday along with 1hr OWS (open water swim), and 1:30 on Sunday with 1hr pool swim. Despite having to ride in the pouring rain on Sunday that was the day I felt the best. At the time, what I did over the weekend didn't seem like a lot. But I was also comparing myself to others I know who had been training all winter. It took my very good friend Denise to point out to me that I did a good job. That it had been MY first big volume weekend. I haven't been training all winter like everyone else.

I get caught up in my head sometimes with the mental aspect of it all. I need to focus on the bike. The bike will carry me through Ironman. I know I can do the 2.4 mile swim with time to spare since I just raced a 2.4 swim 2 weeks ago, you can check out my recent race report here. I know the marathon will be very long and it'll be run/walk. As long as I feel good on the bike and stay consistent I'll be ok. Brings me full circle back to trusting myself. Trusting my coach. I'm a greenhorn when it comes to this stuff. My coach isn't. He knows what he's talking about. All I have to do is keep reminding myself that I AM improving. I AM feeling better. Stop thinking so much. Follow the workouts. They are the little things that add up to the big picture making everything "click". My success in last years 1/2 IM proved that. I already trust my coach. I guess I just have to learn to trust in my own ability.

Denise sent me two links to think about when I was beating myself up over the weekend and I wanted to share with you: Minimalist Ironman Training & How To Nail the Ironman Marathon. Everything in those articles are things my coach has told me. I know I must sound like a broken record to him and I fully appreciate and acknowledge his patience with me. This IM journey is pretty spectacular and despite everything I am loving it.

I gotta go so I can hop on my trainer. Remember it's those little things...

Thank YOU!

2010-12-31T22:10:00.001-05:00

Before I'm off to go cheer friends at the New Years Eve run to end and begin a year of being athletic, healthy and happy I wanted to thank you for your help this year. Have a wonderful beginning to the new year!!

"Difficulties are opportunities to better things; they are stepping stones to greater experience. Perhaps someday you will be thankful for some temporary failure in a particular direction. When one door closes, another always opens".- Author Unknown

Thank you for your continued support this year!! I hope since we last spoke you thought about a fun activity you did as a child and if that didn’t make you want to go right out there to re-enact those earlier years then hopefully it made you smile with the memory. As promised, I went to Tucson Arizona with my team to take part in JDRF’s Ride to Cure Diabetes. However, with great regret I was unable to ride my bike due to injury. Two days before I flew out of town my doctor told me I had a stress fracture in my leg and I was required to take a “forced rest with no activity for 6 weeks”. I was devastated by the news. Athletically, this has been a very successful year for me. I have competed in many first time endurance events such as 2 half marathons, Olympic distance triathlon, 24hr running relay and a half Ironman distance triathlon. All of this I don’t think would have been possible without me having taken part in my first weekend 5 years ago at JDRF’s Ride to Cure program. As I’ve told you each year, the ride program made me fall back in love with riding, has helped me to take action and strive for better control of my diabetes management, has given me friends that will last a lifetime, made me an athlete, it has made me come alive. So you can see why I was so upset about not being able to take part in the ride that essentially planted the seed of the athlete you now know.

Despite not being able to ride I had a spectacular weekend! There was never a doubt that I wouldn’t go. If my team was going, I was going. I’d be the support crew and help anyway I could. The night before the ride there is a big dinner where two awards are given out with the help of a podium girl. Guess who that girl was?! The ride staff asked me if I would like to assist our National coach in handing out the awards. It was so cool to stand up on the stage in front of the 100+ riders and volunteers to congratulate the award recipients. The next day was ride day, I woke up bright and early with my team and had breakfast with them before we had to part ways. This years ride was partnered with the El Tour de Tucson so that meant the start was going to have 8,000+ riders. I have never seen a mass start like that. It was amazing! I’ll admit that I was jealous of my friends because they were riding and I wasn’t. However, I had work to do. I had to make sure I was there cheering them so I spent ride day enjoying the weather at the finish line, watching the first and last of my teammates come in. I’ve never been on that side of the line before and it was wonderful to see the weary smiles of satisfaction and utter accomplishment on their faces as they crossed the finish line. My team…they made my day.

That evening there is a celebration dinner and more awards are given out to riders and coaches. One particular award is the coveted polka dot jersey, which is given out to the person that exemplifies the spirit of the JDRF Ride Program throughout the weekend. It’s been awarded to riders, coaches and volunteers in the past. This year my team and other JDRF crew nominated me for the award. I accepted the award with tears in my eyes and a smile on my face. As everyone stood to clap and congratulate me, I felt so much love and appreciation from my team and all of the JDRF staff. It’s a moment I’ll never forget and a jersey I’ll wear riding with pride. My team…they made my night.

I wanted to be there to support them and the other riders but as it turned out they supported me the entire weekend, by letting me know it mattered to them that I was there. Riding or not. Your donations to the cause, your donations to support ME each year in the cause, it makes YOU part of the team. Riding or not. My team…thank you for making my year.

Love,

Jen

http://www.trainingdiabeteslife.blogspot.com

Doc said...

2010-12-02T16:47:00.000-05:00

I have a stress fracture. As soon as he said it I burst into tears. He said I needed to take 6 weeks off. I could do no activities that required my legs such as biking, running and even swimming! However, I did negotiate with him to let me swim so long as I used a pull buoy. He said I needed a "forced rest" and as soon as I took a break I would notice the difference in my leg, that it would feel better. After crying and being depressed for a day I recognized the fact that this is the best time for something like this to happen (off season), that I could still swim and work on my stroke which is my weak point in swimming. So it's been 3 weeks and I've been resting and swimming with a pull buoy. I've started doing my core work again. Now I'm down to 19 days before I see the doc again and I'm hoping he gives me a Christmas gift of letting me ride my bike. Oh yeah and guess what? He was right...my leg DOES feel better. Sometimes they really do know what they're talking about ;).

Build the fire

2010-11-13T11:46:00.000-05:00

Injuries. I guess they happen to everyone right? Overuse, improper form, doing too much too soon, not enough sleep, poor nutrition. The list could really keep going. You've heard the schpeel.

Well that's where I am right now. However, my orthopedist isn't yet sure what the problem is. We need an MRI, so were waiting on insurance approval. My left leg is the issue, more specifically my tibia. Its possible I have a stress fracture or I have tendinitis. I'm hoping for the lesser of two evils and its tendinitis.

It all started about a week before my half marathon on October 12th. My leg just felt weird, "not right" but I didn't think too much about it. Two days before the race I was supposed to do a 4 mile easy run but I didn't go. My leg was bothering me so I just decided to skip it. I mean I didn't want to hurt myself two days before my race, and "easy" is relative. To me there is nothing "easy" about running.

You know how some people go for a run to "loosen up"? Yeah. That's not me. Nothing "loosens up" when I run. Sure I might feel better after a hard run but that's because I did something that is hard. I tackled it. I did it when I didn't really want to. Sometimes though, when I run, for a few moments I get a feeling like I'm barely touching the ground with my feet. Everything gets quiet and I'm "in the zone", it lasts for such a short time though (lucky if its 5min) maybe that's the runners high I've heard about. In either case, in the year and a half since I've started running I've experienced it a handful of times.

I digress.

Back to the weekend of my half marathon. So I didn't run that Friday, Saturday I got a sports massage to loosen my legs up, Sunday race day. As soon as I started the race I had sharp shooting pains (same pains from earlier in the week when I wasn't running), it lasted about 3-4 miles then went away. Either it really did go away or I somehow compartmentalized it away. It was a really great race for me. I PR'd (personal record) and aside from walking the aid stations I ran the entire thing. That was a big deal for me. I was very happy with my time and my performance. However, that half marathon seemed so much harder than my half ironman a month earlier. To top it off I was much more sore (3-4 days) after the half marathon than the half ironman. I've been told by several experienced triathletes including my coach that you will almost always feel worse after a half marathon or marathon race than from a half ironman or ironman. Running is harder on your body plus your racing faster and harder. And ya know what? They were right!

So because I was so sore I didn't run, and I hadn't been cycling that much because there just aren't enough daylight hours unless its the weekend. However, running for the bus sure brought that sharp shooting pain right into focus again. It hadn't gone away and it hurt just to walk or stand still. So I iced, stretched and took ibuprofen for a week. Felt like the leg was getting a little better. I had continued to swim since I had no pain in the water. I tested the leg out on a track. As soon as I started to run I had pain. So I laid off it for another week. It even started to hurt when I would climb hills on my bike. Not a good thing. I'm not sure why I didn't go see a doc sooner. I thought it was getting better. But all I had really done was stop doing the things that hurt. So now almost 4 weeks later I went to my PT and she sent me to the doc. She thought it was a fracture. So now I wait for the MRI and the results.

Not sure what's been going on with me lately but I've been eating like crap, not sleeping well, and having bursts of claustrophobia. Maybe I'm not using the right word when I say claustrophobia but its kinda how I feel. A feeling of being trapped. That feeling has been around for a few months. Plus it doesn't help at all that there is not much daylight. I feel starved for it. The poor sleeping and eating like crap has been going on for about 1-2months. I feel like I'm in a bit of a vicious cycle. Maybe that's why this happened with my leg. Is it burnout? I definitely know I need a vacation. Everyone says I need to make sure I take a break from training but the thing is I haven't felt like I've been doing that much. I need to get back to being consistent. I was doing so well when I was being structured and consistent.

I'm anxious to get the results of the MRI back because then I will know and I can treat my leg properly so I have full recovery. Not being able to have full mobility takes a toll, especially when I wanted to really improve my running this winter. My coach told me to take this time to "build the fire deep, deep, deep in my belly for all the things I want to accomplish in life". Very good words, so I am taking the time to reflect, and build my fire one log at a time. I recently switched to part time status at work; I'm hoping that in making that change I am able to organize myself a little better and create a more efficient way of spending my days and continue pursuing the things that are important to me. Plus I'll get to be out in the daylight more rather than being stuck in a building.

My kindergarten drawing: visual reminder to build the fire

Next week I'm flying out to Tucson AZ to take part in JDRF's Ride to Cure, it could not come at a more perfect time.

Signing off to go build my fire.

Ride to Cure

2010-10-18T14:34:00.001-04:00

When I was a child during the summer months you could find me either swimming in the pool until I turned all wrinkly and the sun had gone down or riding my bike all over the neighborhood until I found my way back home hours later. Life was easy then and I had such fun! That was years before being diagnosed as a type 1 diabetic. Over time I had forgotten how much I loved swimming and riding my bike, "why did I ever stop”? Now, after living 15 years with diabetes I have gone back to those fun times thanks to JDRF. I am swimming again and have a new found love for triathlon and on my weekends you’ll find me riding my bike for hours on end. Just like when I was a child. JDRF helped me remember and ultimately has helped me take control of a disease that is with me 24hrs a day, 7 days a week and 365 days a year. There is no break. Ever. It’s not fun especially in the beginning when first diagnosed. Even after 15years it’s still hard. Stressful. Fear of the unknown future and possible diabetic complications. Always questioning myself if I'm doing the right thing with managing this disease. When I think I AM doing the right thing and the numbers don't come out right and everything is crazy…pure frustration, anger and sometimes depression are what ensue. Judgment from strangers, friends and family (whether they realize it or not) with their "helpful comments and suggestions". Judging what I eat, how I take my medicine, how many times I have to go see my doctors. The stress of making sure I have health insurance to cover the insulin my pancreas won't produce so I can LIVE. I need my blood sugar meter. I need my insulin. Without it there is no me.

The JDRF Ride to Cure program brought me back to my childhood fun by getting me to want to be active. By getting me to swim again. By getting me back on my bike. They are also researching ways to make my life along with millions of other diabetic lives easier through new technology and one day a cure. This will be my 5th year riding for them and raising funds. I'm asking for a donation that will help me in achieving my goal of $4,000.00 for this year’s 109 mile ride which will be taking place in Tucson, AZ on November 20, 2010. All donations are tax deductible! I have attached the link for you to make donations by credit card. https://ride.jdrf.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=rideCentral.personalpage&riderID=10144

I didn't choose to have this disease. However I AM choosing how the "betes" and I spend our 24hrs, 7 days a week and 365 days a year together. Follow me through my blog www.trainingdiabeteslife.blogspot.com. Remember YOUR childhood fun. Go back to it. Ride with me. Help me help JDRF. Your continued support of donations in any amount, your words of encouragement...they are invaluable. My thanks to you always.

Jen

Toughman: Morning of Race Day

2010-10-11T21:14:00.000-04:00

Race Day - Sunday 9/12:
Morning and Transition set up:
We wake up at 4am, I slept about 5 hours but I felt good (I did get good sleep days leading up to race); I check my blood sugar and I'm 72 suuweeeet! Get ready quickly and eat my 2 hard boiled eggs and PBJ on whole wheat bread (brought it all from home). I bolused (gave myself insulin via pump) for the full amount of carbs I was eating since it would be more than 2 hours until I raced. Let's not forget I also brought my iced coffee from home too. I love my coffee. Love. It. We drive to Croton Point Park where the race is taking place and all is good, getting a little anxious but its ok. It's dark outside. Check the blood sugar and I'm 112. Good number. Soon as we get there I have to go to the bathroom, I was very happy about that. Then I'm off to set up my transition area. I still haven't figured out a way to set up where I'm a 100% comfortable so I look at everyone else's set up to see if I'm missing anything. I then proceed to switch everything around and then switch it around again to its original setting. What can I say we got there early! :) Check the blood sugar again at 5:30 and I'm 157, not concerned cuz I'm thinking the food is hitting its peak and all that jazz. I was starting to get antsy (despite having my ipod on calming music). Its now 5:55am BS (blood sugar) is 180, check again at 6:07am BS 208, I know I seem a little neurotic at this point checking so much but I wanted to see how I was gonna trend because the next time I'd be able to check would be at T1 after the swim. They were closing transition at 6:30 and I wouldn't be swimming until 7:15 and I wouldn't have my CGM (continuous glucose monitor) on me either since it's not waterproof. I WOULD have my insulin pump though because that baby IS waterproof! THANK YOU Animas for peace of mind.

Transition is closing and I get one more test in at 6:30am and my BS is 243, if you've noticed I've been steadily going up. I haven't eaten anything since 4:30am so I know its nerves and adrenaline spiking the blood sugar. It's decision time I wasn't sure if I should keep a temp basal on since I was so high or take some of the recommended 3 units of insulin to hopefully bring my BS down and hopefully avoid a low. I also wasn't sure if I should have a GU before the swim, again I thought it would raise my BS I wasn't even looking at it as "I'm an athlete and I need this fuel." I was thinking of it as "that GU is gonna raise my already high BS even more". I was with my friend Denise (also type 1) and I asked her what she would do; she reminded me to stick to the plan. Let me tell you, it is without a doubt THE BEST thing to have other diabetics racing with you, I had three :).

BS plan for race:
With Denise's advice I stuck to the plan and I only gave myself 1.00 unit of insulin, if I was high after so be it I could correct but I knew I wouldn't go low.

Plan for race was to have a temp basal (amount of base insulin throughout day) of 50% entire time. I calculated the night before how many carbs I would be eating during the bike only and divided that in half, I would then give myself a 20/80% combo bolus over 3 hours. A bolus is delivery of insulin for food or blood sugar correction and making it combo means its over an extended amount of time. I chose 3 hours because I needed the delivery to finish 30min before my run. Running drops your BS very rapidly for most diabetics and any active insulin on board becomes super strength, your body is 10x more responsive to it. So it's VERY important to stick to the plan and eat everything I counted for. Not just because I'm diabetic but also because I've been taught this season as an athlete fueling properly on the bike helps you on the run. So that was my plan and I promised myself, my RD, my coach and my friends who advised me that no matter what my CGM or meter said I'd stick to the plan and not panic.

I wanted a good race and to me that meant trying to stay on schedule with pacing and most importantly not seeing my BS go all crazy like a yo-yo.

Read the next entry to see how the swim goes...

Toughman: Pre-Race

2010-09-30T12:51:00.003-04:00

I decided to write each leg this way by reading one of my Brooklyn Tri teammates blogs...so thanks for the idea Shaun!

Pre Race - Saturday:
I woke up early and went with a friend for a 45min ride just to make sure Violet (my bike) was feeling ok, then I ran for 15 minutes to see how the legs felt - all was good :). I drove up with two of my Brooklyn tri teammates later that morning to Croton Point Park where the race was being held so we could check in. I was feeling good, plus I was able to get some A.R.T. (Active release therapy) work done on my foot and shoulder to make sure I was loose. Oh how I LOVE that stuff felt a TON better. Leaving the parking lot I saw a dog that looked just like my Val I almost didn't stop to pet it but I'm glad I did. Reminded me of her and made me feel good.

Later that night as Denise, Mark and I were packing our bags for race day I jumped up and said "oh my god I don't remember packing my helmet!" I knew I didn't leave it with my bike earlier that day but I couldn't remember the action of putting it in or seeing it in the car! I started to hyperventilate therefore making myself light headed. I was FREAKING out! All I was thinking (in my head) was "oh my god, great, after all this training, after the countless tweets and facebook statuses and well wishes from everyone I'm gonna come back and say "yeah I forgot my helmet", oh lord. You can't race without a helmet! Denise, thank god for her (she's been my saving grace this season) she told me to calm down, we could go get one at walmart. I tried calling my friends who I drove up with but I couldn't reach them.

I was trying to calm down so I said "at least I remembered my meter", then Denise says "well that's great but you can race without your meter, you can't race without a helmet!" Gee thanks Denise, I feel much more calm now less than 10hours before the race and no sign of my helmet. So off we go 9:00pm at night day before the race to the shopping center and there are both a Kmart AND a Modell's. We decided in the car that I would have to get the funniest helmet possible. Mind you I'm still freaking out (in my head), I just want get there! As soon as we get into Modell's my friends called to tell me that...I DID have my helmet I just forgot it in the car :). I asked them 3 times "you're SURE you saw it in there? Because we're here now and I can get a helmet"; mind you I had a lavender colored, child size helmet in my hand with smiley faces and pink flowers. No need to buy it! Ten pounds off the shoulders and about 3oz on my head (I think), I'll take it!

We were in bed by 11pm (late...yes I know), I was dead to the world before my head hit the pillow.

Toughman - Short Version

2010-09-29T20:41:00.000-04:00

I haven't written much about my training for the biggest race of my life thus far, but on September 12th I completed my first half Ironman!!! A half Ironman consists of a 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, and a 13.1 mile run all within cut off times for each leg and within a total of 8 hours.

Here's the short of it:
Total time: 7:37:45
Swim: 41:59
T1: 5:58
Bike: 3:44:06
T2: 3:04
Run: 3:02:41
Good blood sugars throughout, I finished strong and with a smile :).

I could have probably saved 1-2min from my swim time by sighting correctly. I couldn't see the finish and the buoys looked like they were on the wrong side; apparently everyone else had the same problem. I paced well on the bike. The run is my weak link and my goal was to have it be the same time as my 1/2 marathon back in April which was 2:55:12 so I was very close :). I think had I not stopped two times to cop a squat on side of road and not stopped to take pictures with my two girlfriends (who were running with me) at the beautiful waterfall I could have made my time. However, I'd take none of it back - it only added to my experience. The temperature was cool, breezy and overcast entire day so it made for great race conditions!

The race has shown me that I can do ANYTHING I set my mind to and further motivated me to continue in my path.

We did it!

Enjoying the scenery

I will be having other posts for each leg of the race for the readers out there who want all the deets.

Keep living your dream kids!

Updates! (stay tuned for more)

2010-09-07T14:39:00.003-04:00

It has been way too long my friends I apologize. Many BIG things have occurred since we last spoke, I'll try not to let this post be toooooo long ;).

July 3rd:
I had the honor of being a bridesmaid for one of my closest friends Deanna. Let me tell you being a bridesmaid IS as stressful as everyone says but it wasn't because of the bride :). Being a bridesmaid you want to make sure your friend has everything she dreamed of, hoped for, you want everything to be perfect for them. It's there special day. Deanna's wedding was WONDERFUL, she looked beautiful and the entire day went off flawlessly. It was a fairy tale wedding just like their story. She married a great guy but he, well he married a gem. That's my Dee Dee a gem with the biggest heart and always a great attitude. A true friend. I'm glad I could share that day with them. Cheers to Deanna and Frank, wishing you happiness, good health, success, laughter and above all love and friendship throughout your life together.

July 18th: Nautica NYC Olympic Tri
Short of it:

right after I completed my 1st Oly!

It was freaking HOT! 90 degrees, 60 or 70% humidity. HOT. Pretty unbearable. BUT I'm very happy with my times :). My super secret goals were:
Swim: 30 min based on everyone saying current is so fast and it takes me just under 50min to swim a mile.
Bike: 1:30 or 1:40 I wanted my avg pace to be 16. But I wasn't sure I could pull it off cuz that's what I did last year on a flat sprint course.
Run: goal was to try and run straight and walk the stations. Finish in 1:30
(yes I know that's slow).

My results:
swim:19:46 pace 1:11
T1 15:02 (we had 2run just under 1/2 mile 2 T1...I'm just sayin)
bike:1:35:37 avg 15.6
T2 6:47

wearing my t-shirt & medal next day at work :)

run:1:26:04 avg 13:52.
total time 3:43:13
I finished strong and with a smile despite it being so freaking hot and having high BS (blood sugar) since the bike portion (I need to work on BS mgmt while racing). Thank you so much guys for the support!

Long of it:
I competed in my first Olympic distance triathlon NYC Nautica tri; consists of a .90mile swim down the Hudson, 24mile bike on the Westside Highway into the Bronx and back, and 1 loop around Central Park. I had my concerns about the run because its not really my thing and the temps were VERY high with lots of humidity. I was very concerned prior to the race because I had been having a very difficult time training in the heat especially on the runs; plus I hadn't run 6 miles since my half marathon back in April. BUT I did it! It was a very well run race with lots of support although they could have had more run stations. I loved running through the hose. Heaven in that heat. Everyone should do that race at least once and I'm glad that was my first Olympic distance.

On to the next weekend July 23-26:
I went with three friends to Ironman Lake Placid to volunteer. All but one is diabetic and all but one (not same person) will be competing in our first Ironman distance triathlon on July 24th,2011. We were able to ensure our entry by volunteering for this event. The event of all events. One of the most physically challenging and demanding events in the world. Some of you might not know what an Ironman is, I'll tell you:

Ironman distance is the longest distance in triathlon that consists of swimming 2.4miles, biking 112miles and running a marathon 26.2miles. All within 17hours and the allotted time frames for each leg of the race.

Being at Ironman that weekend was inspiring, motivating, thrilling! A complete rush. I had friends and teammates racing at the Placid course so it was great to be able to help them at the aid stations or just cheering for them whenever I caught a glimpse while out on the course. The placid course is a 2 loop course for each leg so while volunteering on the run station I was able to see fresh faces as they made it through the first loop, when it came to the 2nd loop there were a whole other set of faces. Some were wilted, some displayed fierce determination while others just showed a constant smile, there were even athletes forcing themselves to throw up on the course!

Midnight is the 17hour cut off time. Being able to see the last person who made it as an official ironman was nerve racking and exhilarating all at once. The energy of the crowd is ELECTRIC! Volunteering at an Ironman event is humbling and inspiring.

Me right after I signed up for my 1st Ironman!!!! IMLP 2011

The next morning with less than 5 hours sleep feeling like a zombie I waited in line for 4 hours so I could sign up for 2011. Before I even signed those papers and put a small fortune down for the race fee I was committed. Signing those papers only made it official :).

On the road to our 1st IM :)

we've got our pumps & paid registration!!!

And so my Ironman road has officially begun! Looking forward to embracing every moment this year will bring.

Ragnar Essay

2010-07-16T13:50:00.033-04:00

I created an essay for team Glucomotives Great River Ragnar Relay. If it's chosen we could win Suunto watches, get featured on the website, have it submitted to the media or a television interview. I wanted to share the essay with all of you, I hope you enjoy!

“I love running. I feel alive. My muscles ache. My lungs tire. And I feel good. It's as simple as that!”

We’re a 14-member team consisting of 2 drivers and 12 runners from across the country; most have never met each other face to face. We’ve come together to take a 24-hour racing road trip to cover 198 miles across Minnesota to spread the word about our cause and to prove to ourselves more than anything that we CAN. What is our vehicle of choice? The Great River Ragnar Relay. What makes us different from the 200+ other teams racing? Every single member of our team is diabetic. As a team we have lived over 150 years with diabetes. What makes us even cooler than every other team racing is that this is not the first Ragnar Relay Team Glucomotive has raced; last year we had an all diabetic team at the Ragnar Relay Del Sol-one of our runners has raced every Ragnar Del Sol relay. Next year we hope to race another location that Ragnar offers.

"Team Glucomotive is Insulindependence's running and walking club for people with diabetes, promoting successful diabetes management through casual training and serious racing.” Last year when I first heard of running in a relay with an all diabetic team I said "sign me up!”. Despite having never run a relay, not even liking the idea of running, it sounded like a great adventure, full of smiling, sweaty, stinky new friends with a wealth of knowledge about training, racing and managing diabetes. Plus, I had decided that in 2011 I'd be racing in my first Ironman, so really I had to start running since my first marathon would be at Ironman. My teammates have dubbed me "Jen Ironwoman in training", a fitting nickname I think. So with all that, how could I POSSIBLY say no to running this relay? Never a doubt. Being part of Glucomotive and Insulindependence has truly helped to change my life by surrounding me with other diabetics that inspire me by their personal and athletic endeavors.

Though we have yet to meet, my team has already earned a special place in my heart. We have all been getting to know each other via email, phone calls and reading each other’s blogs. Some of the team was able to share with me a few of their accomplishments and what this race means to them:

"I’m a lifelong runner and an official Marathon Maniac; having run 51 marathons and 5 ultra marathons in the past 11 years and 9 months. And I just love running.”–Jerry

“The Ragnar Relay Del Sol ‘08 was the first running event I had done EVER (since high school 16 years before). When I found out there was an all diabetic team, I wanted to be a part of that! Ragnar Relay was one of those events that LITERALLY changed my life, and if I could do that surrounded by people who weren't letting this disease stop them, I wanted in. Thanks, Ragnar!!”-Jenny

“This is my first relay run! I am running the Ragnar race because I want to start my own branch of Insulindependence on the East Coast” –Emily

“Since running the New York marathon I also ran the Barcelona marathon and the Berlin half marathon - I am definitely hooked. Running is such a 'sweet' treat for anyone, but as someone living with type 1 diabetes, I think that running is a much needed escape, a moment during our busy 24 hour days where we can forget about the glucose meter, forget about the number of carbs in our meal, forget about our rotating sites, or forget about grandma's recipe that undoubtedly will have too much sugar in it...and remember that our daily journeys, be it in a "I'm running a 24 hour relay race" format or a "there's no such thing as a normal routine when you have diabetes" 24 hour daily stretch, are just that - journeys.”-Anne

“Running is by far the most simple of the athletic activities to get the "exercise" fix and for sure the best ‘bang for the buck’, meaning it gets the job done to help the mental and physical wellbeing relative to diabetes management.” –Pratt

“When first diagnosed I was told I would never compete never run, cycle or train like I used to. I somewhat lost myself, had no direction, got all sorts of depressed. Until I discovered that I can do this. I can do everything that I enjoy and then some. Diabetes isn't an excuse it’s a way of life. I want to help others realize this and achieve their goals.”-Daniel

“I’ve never run in a relay event, but training for this is making running a little more focused and fun with an improvement in diabetes management a nice side-affect!” –Mike

“This is the first running event I have ever participated in!” –Corinne

“I was diagnosed with Type 1 almost 8 years ago and I starting running in the fall of 2008. Since then I have run 1 marathon, 2 half's, a hand full of 10 milers, 2 Olympic Distance Tri's, and an 8-hour Adventure Race.” –Gary

“This is my first time running in a relay, first time running in Minnesota. I came to running via triathlons and although it was my weakest after cycling and swimming, it's now my second favorite (still love to cycle).”-Carlene

“I have seen running serve two major purposes in my life. One, to help control diabetes and two, to prove to myself that I can physically perform as good and better than any other person without diabetes. I was very successful at both, keeping my A1C near normal and having some great running accomplishments. However, there was one thing that always made me stand out…as everyone else is hanging out at the start of the race and gearing up to go…I am looking for a place to check my blood sugar and see if I can safely compete. As everyone else is trying to figure out their mile pace and estimate their finish time while racing, I do the same but also do different kind of math wondering how high my sugars are and if I will make it to the finish at all. After the race, everyone is basking in their glory, talking about the race, eating snacks and drinking Gatorade. I am busy checking my sugars and trying to find a private place to administer insulin to treat post race highs. What running Ragnar means to me is providing me with the opportunity to take on something physically challenging, but more than that, it enables me to do it with the people just like myself and not feel different for the very first time in life.”-Igor

My team inspires me and makes me smile. I’m sure they will do the same for you. Thank you for reading.

Sincerely,
Jen
“Ironwoman in training”

Coaches

2010-07-09T13:32:00.000-04:00

I'm reading The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. If you get the chance, read the book or watch his video on YouTube, I don't think you'd regret it. As I was reading I came to the end of one chapter titled "I never made it to the NFL". There was one paragraph that stuck with me:

"...Coach Graham keeps showing up in my head, forcing me to work harder whenever I feel like quitting, forcing me to be better. When we send our kids to play organized sports-football, soccer, swimming, whatever-for most of us its not because we're desperate for them to learn the intricacies of the sport. What we really want them to learn is far more important: teamwork, perseverance, sportsmanship, the value of hard work, an ability to deal with adversity".

That paragraph got me thinking about how I have become involved in sports, the teams I'm part of, my teammates and above all my coaches. My coaches who whether they realize it or not, "show up in my head, forcing me to work harder whenever I feel like quitting, forcing me to be better". My coaches have also calmed many of my fears when I get closer to the "big day" my A race/event. And let me tell you I panic. I'll inevitably send the text or email asking my coach if they really think I could it, if I trained enough, if the hills are as hard as I think, questioning everything. That's me in panic mode. Stressing.

You know what they say? They tell me I can, they remind me of what I've already accomplished, they tell me I've trained on harder hills. They reassure me and calm me down. On my 2nd century ride I was stressing about a hill everyone had been talking about, so the day before I texted my coach and asked him if he thought I could do the hill and finish the 100 miles in time. His words: "you've trained on harder hills". That's all I needed to hear cuz when I got to that hill I rode it slow and steady. When I reached the top I said to myself and teammates "come on we can finish this ride, that's the hardest hill, coach said I could do it, and if he said I can than I can!" and I did :).

I've learned a lot from my coaches so far. I respect them tremendously; their ability to see the bigger picture, to be the calm in the storm, for their patience, for their knowledge in the sport, for always pushing me, for being able to draw that fine line of expecting more and being supportive of what I CAN do. Coaches have a hard job. Mine have inspired me.

Next year I plan on applying to be a captain and coach for two of my teams and can hopefully inspire and teach others the way my coaches have and continue to teach me. No matter if you're a kid or adult when you join an organized sport Randy's words hold true and you do learn "teamwork, perseverance, sportsmanship, the value of hard work, an ability to deal with adversity".

THANK YOU Jon R., Delaine, Lewis, Tim, Mike, Danny, John S., Cary & Tom you guys are THE BEST!

Re-learning

2010-06-24T16:54:00.000-04:00

Formulas. Addition. Subtraction. Planning. Calculating. Ratios. Have I told you that I don't like math? You'd think I was taking a class with that stuff right? Wrong. It's what I have to think about every day when I'm trying to get my blood sugar management under control.

I've been working with a new CDE (certified diabetes educator), I chose her because she is also a sports nutritionist. Definitely a plus and a necessity these days. I decided to revisit this whole process because I feel like I'm not in the best control. I'm swinging between high and low too often. I'm working with my triathlon coach and my training has increased a lot. I'm learning (or at least trying) how to do everything at once:
•train consistently
•train efficiently
•not neglect my friends, family or other social obligations
•learn how to eat so I can fuel my body for the stress I'm putting it under
•learn how to adjust my insulin for each of the 3 disciplines (swim,bike,run)
•learn how to do it all I guess

I have such huge goals for myself the next two years but I won't be able to it right if I can't get my blood sugar management under better control. It really is so very scientific too. Cause and effect. 9 times out of 10 there was a reason for the high or low. Its UNDERSTANDING the why and how of it that will help me better manage. If not I'll continue this vicious physical and emotional yo-yo effect, which can become quite draining.

Do I find it annoying to have to write everything down? You betcha. Will I continue to write everything down? Yup, BECAUSE this is temporary. I don't have to write everything down all the time. I'm working on correcting these swings just as I am training to be able to swim, bike and run whatever distances I have planned for myself.

Practicing, training, logging info and being consistent. All ingredients for becoming a better athlete and understanding my diabetes management. What keeps me going is seeing that perfect BG (blood sugar) after a training session, seeing that my HR (heart rate) IS starting to come down in a run. Its all hard work but when you get to see those moments...well, it just makes it all worth it.

Monday's Run = A Hot Mess

2010-06-18T16:39:00.000-04:00

On Monday I had to run 42min keeping my HR (heart rate) in a certain zone. Legs were feeling a tad tight when I started. It was HOT, 60% humidity heat index of 84. Sweating my ass off lol. I was thankful for a run/walk ratio of 6:1. While I was running I felt a little weird but chalked it off to the heat. Well I was wrong. When I hit the 21min mark it was time to walk so I did but also stretched - my legs felt REALLY tight. I took a 2min stretch break rather than walk break. Resumed. Felt weird again and was gonna wait til my next break but decided against it and just checked my BG (Blood sugar). Well I was 36. I did a double take and checked it again to make sure it was right and it said I was 37! NOT GOOD (normal BG is between 70-120). Then I started feeling real bad real quick. I shut my insulin pump off. Ate a gel. I was hoping I'd feel better very quickly by doing this.

My friends were passing me on their return trip back and one stopped to walk with me. I was grateful to have someone at that moment. She gave me some jelly belly sports beans and we walked together for about 10min after which I told her to just go ahead I'd meet up with them in a few. I did not think I would pass out so I wanted her to go. I felt bad for holding her back. I couldn't stand still and I couldn't run anymore so I just walked. Slowly. After she left I walked maybe 5 more minutes and wanted to try running but yeah that wasn't good. I only took a few steps before I realized I couldn't run.

So I walked the last 20minutes. When I got to our starting point I was feeling much better. Enough that I thought I could run the last 1/4mile out the park. I felt like I wasn't going to let the betes (diabetes) end my run. So I ran a hard 1/4mile. I felt better in the end for doing it because it was kinda like falling off a horse. If you fall you have to get back on. I HAVE literally fallen off a horse and gotten back on. So today I felt like I did the same thing even though I didn't do the workout in it's entirety. I at least did the first half :) and I finished it with a run. When I left the park my BG was 122...perfect!

I learned a lesson though. I didn't listen to my better judgment and keep my temp basal on (as I should have) and I shouldn't have given myself the minuscule blood sugar correction of .25units when my blood sugar before starting the run was only 178 (I was paranoid about going really high since I was rising). huh lesson learned I guess.

PS
For those that don't know, a temp basal is when you reduce or increase the amount of your basal insulin by a certain %. Basal is the base insulin delivered by your insulin pump delivered approximately every 5 minutes to try and regulate your blood sugar. Its trying to be similar to a working pancreas. A bolus is the insulin you give yourself to correct a high blood sugar or its the insulin you give yourself to cover carbohydrates in a meal.