Trains Move: Obtuse & Ordinary Anecdotes

2016 isn’t just the year of the Red Monkey; it’s the year of Double Dipping.

2016-01-12T19:50:00.000-08:00

It’s the start of a new year and with that undoubtedly brings a new set of resolutions that within a month I will no longer adhere to nor remember. But this year is going to be different as I have thought of not just one thing I’m going to change about myself, but three.

Resolution 1

I resolve to double dip.

I should qualify that by saying I will double dip with my own condiments, not those in a shared setting. I came home one night after drinking and decided to make a wrap as I was out of my go-to Celeste’s frozen pizza. The wrap required mayonnaise and (as I have a tendency of doing while drinking), I decided to use more than the recommended portion size. I was about to stick the spoon back in the jar of Hellman’s when I stopped and thought (which is not something I typically do while drinking), I had already put the spoon in my mouth and therefore it was, *gasp*, dirty. That’s when it hit me, what am I afraid of, getting my own germs? I live alone. I share nothing in my place with a single living soul (not even a mouse thanks to my exterminator, Mohammed). Why do I hold on to this notion that my place has to be suitable for an unexpected visitor at all times? I’m not sure when or why it started but up until a week ago it’s what I fully believed.

A guest may stop by so I should……

Keep my bathroom clean….

Not leave any important documents out…

Don’t double dip…

Don’t drink out of the container…..

What a bunch of nonsense! No one comes over to my place, ever!

Consider yourself warned if you come over to my place because the condiments and beverage containers are not safe. You may see some opened mail on my desk and there may even be some toothpaste marks on the bathroom mirror.

Nowadays I drink out of the Tropicana bottle and I eat straight out of the Jiff container. Since I’ve come to this realization that I have no one to be on guard for 24 hours a day, my dish washing has decreased significantly which means I’m using less water, which means I’m helping the environment. I think we can all agree that when sloth-like behavior turns out to be helpful for the environment it’s a win-win situation.

Resolution 2

I resolve to use the new stuff.

Another antiquated notion that I have stubbornly held on to was that I’m not good enough for the new stuff. This goes for most items that I own. I’ve noticed that when I get something new I keep it in the original box, container, packaging and put it away. I won’t use it. Take for instance a kitchen knife that I received at an industry event. It wasn’t even a gift from a friend or a family member, it was a free take-away. That knife remained in the original plastic packaging until about two months ago; I got it back in 2013. When I finally opened it up and started using it I was amazed at how well it cut my produce. Never before have I sliced a tomato so effortlessly! And here it was sitting in a drawer for years. Why? Because I thought that there would be a perfect time to use it and to do so otherwise would be a waste.

But it doesn’t stop at the kitchen knife, it goes much further. I have found numerous pairs of new socks that I never wore and instead wore socks that holes in the toes. I was walking around like a pauper. My sister finally addressed the issue one day and asked why I always had holes in my socks when she knew I had new socks as she herself had given me a few pairs. I had no answer. For some reason I felt that the old stuff is just fine and I should save the new stuff for the right moment, event, party, person, holiday; (insert your own excuse here).

Since this epiphany I now have new sheets on my bed, new towels in my bathroom and kitchen, new throw blankets on my sofa, new coffee mugs, new Tupperware, and my favorite, new underwear. I had no idea I had so many pairs of new underwear (still w/the tags on them) in my drawer.

I learned that I’m worthy of using the new stuff. I don’t need a reason or a person or an event to justify utilizing something brand new on myself. It’s just me and it’s just a Wednesday. Since I’ve applied this philosophy I’ve been wearing all of my new underwear and every day feels like Christmas.

Resolution 3

Spending more time alone. Being single you would think I spend a lot of time alone but it’s actually quite the opposite. I spend a significant amount of time with people. I have become an expert at keeping my schedule full of activities, be it the gym, taking a class, a networking event or time with friends. In the process I forget to schedule time alone. It sounds silly but for me being by myself is very important. It gives me time to rejuvenate, reflect and relax. I have a lot of interests and many of them never get explored beyond adding a note in my Outlook or buying a book on Amazon that never gets read. I get so caught up with scheduling things and planning the next outing that I never take time to just explore a hobby or a passion, (like writing on my blog). We all know what we need and we all need different things. I know that I need to be around people the majority of the time, but I also need some downtime to recharge my batteries and explore new things on my own path of curiosity. I would like to think it’s what keeps me interesting to my friends and family and clients. I don’t ever want to stop learning. I don’t ever want to be afraid of trying something new. And for the love of all things holy, I don’t ever want to be called boring.

Here’s to fantastic year of drinking out of the bottle, wearing the new stuff and keeping ourselves interesting! A votre santé my friends!

5 things I would teach my daughter if I had one.

2015-07-19T13:10:00.000-07:00

It’s amazing once we give our minds a chance to relax and unwind how quickly we can find inspiration. I was fortunate to take a trip to the beach this past weekend for the holiday. The ocean breeze, salt water and soft sands were exactly what I needed to set the stage for some much anticipated down time. Armed with an assortment of Women’s Health, ELLE, US Weekly and my SPF 50 I settled into a comfy spot on my beach blanket and…….quickly fell asleep. When I woke up and realized where I was I took a moment to people watch and survey the beach scene. A true vision of Americana, the beach had everyone from retirees, families, single people, groups of teens and of course the token cute lifeguards.

I watched parents slather on sunscreen on their kids, dads help their sons build sand castles and a mom chase after her toddler daughter and scooping her up in to her arms as she got precariously close to the wave’s edge. It made me contemplate what it would be like to have children of my own. It made me question if I would ever be able to manage the tasks that I observed the surrounding moms doing like it was second nature but to me it seemed more like a constant circus act in which they were the ring leader.

I don’t know if I will ever have children. I would venture to say I probably won’t since I’m 40 years old and not in a serious relationship. One thing I do know is if I ever had a daughter I would want to make sure I taught her as much as I possibly could about life, about love and about gratitude. Here they are in no particular order of importance.

#1. A sense of quirkiness.

I spent a lot of time trying to find a way to fit in when I was younger. I realized that when I no longer cared what other people thought about me and when I followed my own thoughts and opinions and actions something incredible happened, I became my own person. I know I’m not what most people would consider normal. I know I’m a little blunt at times, and what some may say is crazy I prefer to call quirky. I’m not afraid to let my personality come out, I’m not afraid to speak my mind or disagree with someone. And it’s not that I don’t care what people think of me and I certainly don’t want to offend anyone but there is something very freeing about being transparent. I wouldn’t want my daughter to waste the time I did trying to follow the paved path. I would encourage her to let her own unique sense of intuition help her forge her own path. For that path will only lead to happiness.

#2. A sense of self-reliance:

I am no way a Suzy Homemaker, let’s just be honest. However, there is a very beneficial flip side to being a goddess of the domestic chores and doing it on your own. When you can maintain your household in a manner that is organized to your liking, clean so that it is welcoming and in a state of display that makes you proud to show it off it sets the stage for your mind to focus on other things, the stuff that actually matters. I would teach my daughter the importance of having a house that is to her liking on levels of cleanliness and organization. And most importantly I would teach her how to cook. I think it’s a wonderful bonding opportunity when you cook with family and when you pass along recipes. I would want to teach her one or two of my favorite things to make, like deviled eggs, and encourage her to explore her own culinary creations. I would want her to be comfortable in the kitchen and be able to have her one favorite go-to recipe that she would feel confident making at a dinner party someday, or her future partner. There is no limit to domestic independence be it inside or outside the house. Whether it is building a book shelf, sewing the hem on a pair of pants or fixing the garbage disposal, I would want her to embrace each activity with a sense of confidence and an “I can totally do this” type of attitude. The worst thing that can happen is that you have to ask for help or pay someone to do it for you.

#3. A sense of curiosity.

I’m a big believer that learning should not stop after college and school. There are too many interesting things in this great big world that are worth exploring. I would encourage my daughter to never stop learning something new. I would encourage her to read, to write a blog or a journal and to take as many classes as she wished. I would instill the importance of being well rounded, well traveled and open minded. I would teach her that a college degree in one field isn’t necessarily a destiny for one’s career path. We evolve, we change, and we become interested in different things, people and food. Embrace it. Curiosity leads to change and change can be scary at times but also one of the most exhilarating things that happen to us.

#4. A sense of gratitude.

I would teach my daughter to wake up everyday and say to herself, “life is incredible.”

I would teach her to be grateful for every day she had on Earth. For every person who was in her life and for everything she had to get through her day. Life is too short to always want something materialistic. Our focus should be on what we actually need, recognizing all that we already have, and being grateful for it. This means showing gratitude and kindness to everyone in our life, be it the mail man to the server in a restaurant to the homeless person on the street. I would remind her that all people deserve the same amount of respect and that everyone is part of our community and our world. I would encourage her to live life simply and to practice gratitude everyday. If she is grateful then I will know she will be happy every day of her life.

#5. A sense of self-worth.

Probably the most important thing you can teach any child is a sense of self-worth. A sense that they are valuable, special and just as good as anyone else. I would instill that they don’t have to be the smartest or the fastest or the prettiest, but they need to believe that they are just as important. I would teach my daughter that she has her own unique set of gifts, talents and abilities. I would teach her to believe in herself. I would teach her to not be intimidated by others and to be brave. I would teach her that life will have its share of challenges and that she has all the tools she needs in her tool belt to tackle them all. I would teach her to never give up on her dreams or herself. I would encourage her to surround herself with people who gave her a sense of self-worth and were positive influences.

And I would remind her every day that she is worthy of respect, happiness and love.

It’s not a mystery, I’m single; it’s that simple.

2014-06-22T13:39:00.000-07:00

There is a question that I’m repeatedly asked, “Why are you single?” Or the other slightly more distasteful, “Why are you still single?” I get asked this question by friends, co-workers, and even people I’ve just met. I’m not sure if it’s meant as a compliment in the form of a question but I can think of many other non-offensive ways of paying a compliment. I get it, I’m 39 years old I have no boyfriend, no husband and no kids so I must be out frantically looking to change my situation. I believe that life isn’t about finding someone to dance with on the dance floor before the music is over, sometimes it’s about finding the strength to dance alone to the beat of your own drum.

Let me start by debunking a few myths you may have about single people, or more specifically, about me.

Myth #1: I’m lonely.

A lot of people assume that if you don’t have the same things they have in their life that you must be missing out. You must be lonely if you’re not in a relationship. How could you possibly be content, fulfilled, happy, when you’re all by yourself?

First off, though I may be a party of one, and at times alone, that doesn’t mean I’m lonely. According to Webster’s Dictionary alone means exclusive of anyone or anything else. Lonely on the other hand means sad from being apart from other people. To make myself perfectly clear, I’m not lonely or sad. Yes, I’m a party of one, period no comma or plus signs.

Myth #2: I’m bitter.

The other question or comment I hear frequently is that I must be bitter. (I mean, I must be right?) Not true. Most of my family and friends are in committed relationships and I’m supportive of their relationships. I’m not envious and I have no secret ill will towards any of them because they have companionship and I don’t, it’s that simple.

My sister Bobbe will be celebrating 29 years of marriage this summer. I could not be happier for her and my brother-in-law, Dan. I only have one word for them, “Bravo!” This is an accomplishment that a lot of people will never experience, myself included. But just because I may not experience that type of bliss in a relationship doesn’t mean I can’t be happy for someone else who does. It’s very easy to be supportive and happy for people who have different things from us. The first step is to stop comparing yourself to other people and stop making things about you. My sister and brother-in-law have been blessed in a very special way and I’m happy that they found each other and that I have them as (one of many) role models for a positive relationship.

Myth #3: I’m not putting myself out there.

I’ve never really understood this comment. Where exactly is there? I go out there everyday, I mean I’m not hiding. I work there, I go to the gym there, and I go out to the party there, so where exactly am I not putting myself? Yes, I’ve tried on-line dating, blind dates, speed dating, etc. I went there and over there and beyond there for dates. I didn’t find anyone.

I know a lot of people that are in relationships. Each one has different circumstances which brought the two people together. I’m pretty sure not all of these unions where a matter of putting themselves out there. Sometimes you just happen to be in the right place at the right time. That’s how life works. Sometimes you meet someone at the grocery store or Starbucks. I’ve been to Giant and to Starbucks and no I’ve never met anyone at either place. I go to the gym, I go to parties, I go to happy hours with gal pals, I go to happy hours with guy friends, I go to church, I even went to an open house at my fire station, and you know what I didn’t meet anyone.

When you’re single, you have no choice but to put yourself out there. To me there is anywhere outside of my living room. I go there everyday so please stop telling me to put myself out there.

Myth #4: If you really wanted to be in a relationship you would be in one by now.

To me this is the equivalent of telling me to just settle. I should settle because I’m not getting any younger so the first person to ask me out I should just go out with because if I really wanted to be in a relationship I would be willing to make it work with anyone. The last thing you want to do is end up, *gasp*, single! (Are you picking up my sarcasm?)

If finding that special someone is so rare and finding your soul mate is such a blessing, than why would I ever just settle for the first guy who wants to take me to dinner? This completely goes against the definition of finding someone who really is your true love. True love is rare and unique; it’s the double rainbow, the four leaf clover, the perfectly yellow Bartlett pear in the produce section. It’s not the bruised and mushy Bartlett pear you find in the middle of the summer at the bottom of the box at Giant. It’s ripe, it’s yellow, it’s fresh………….and it’s special to only you! Stop asking me to settle for leftover, picked over, produce. I would rather pass right by it and wait for a better selection next week.

Myth #5: You’re going to turn into a crazy cat lady if you don’t get married and have kids.

The only thing I plan on turning into in my lifetime is an amazing, fun, energetic older version of my present self. Whatever I transform into is going to be a force to be reckoned with, period. I do not need another person or children to make me something that is considered acceptable in society. If that means living on a farm somewhere in Montana with 3 dogs (because I’m really not a fan of cats) than so be it. If people call me crazy behind my back it’s ok, I’m perfectly comfortable in my own skin and I don’t see that changing as I get older.

So have I given up? Have I thrown in the towel on dating? No, actually I haven’t. I may find myself in a relationship someday but for now it’s just me. I’m beyond fortunate to have the network of friends and family I have all around me. I have happiness in my life. I have balance and most of all I have peace. If being in a relationship means changing any one of those elements then I don’t want to be in one. In my opinion, being in a relationship means adding more happiness, more balance and more peace.

The main point I want to convey in this blog is this: Don’t assume that everyone has the same definition of happiness. My definition is most likely different than yours and that’s ok. If your definition includes a boyfriend, a husband, kids, a big house in the suburbs than I say, “Congrats to you!” But if my definition doesn’t include those nouns then I don’t want you to look at me and think I’m odd, or I’m a feminist, or I must be missing out and you should take pity on me. I’m actually just as happy as you are, really.

We all have different wants in life. We all have different goals. But we all have the same needs. To be happy, to feel that you made a difference in your life, and to be at peace with the person we see in the mirror every morning. At last check, my needs are being met just fine so I'm going to keep dancing while the music is playing.

2014-06-12T18:56:00.001-07:00

The Deviled Egg Quest

This morning I made deviled eggs before I went to work. I put them in the fridge and upon getting home tonight I tried one.

It was A W E S O M E. I stood in my kitchen reveling over the leaps and bounds I had come when I first attempted the art of deviled eggs. Back in those days I didn’t even know which end of the egg was up. I had no idea what condiments to add, the spices, the quantity and let’s not even discuss how many times I messed up just cooking the eggs.

But tonight I was the victor, I prevailed! After I get done writing this post I’m going to edit my resume and under the skills section I’m going to add, (yes you guessed it), Deviled Egg Master!

I finally got it right! The eggs were cooked perfectly, not overcooked, not undercooked. My condiment quantities were an ideal composition of mayonnaise and Dijon mustard. It was egg-traordinary!

But this story really isn’t about the eggs. There is a much bigger lesson to be learned. I knew I had the hidden talent in me to be a Deviled Egg Master and it certainly wasn’t going to be perfected in the first dozen or so tries. So I stuck with it, I tried different techniques. I changed things up, I researched, I chatted with other people about their deviled egg recipe. I never gave up on that deviled egg dream and in the end it never gave up on me either.

I read a quote the other day that said, “Success is about falling down 7 times and getting up 8 times.” It was from anonymous. I think anonymous was secretly referring to the art of deviled eggs and may have overcooked one or two in their day.

Don’t ever give up on your dream. No matter how trivial it may be it is worth achieving in the end. I’ve made a lot of bad deviled eggs over the past year and a half, but tonight I made the best egg ever.

Sincerely,

The Deviled Egg Master

T is for Trouser Socks and it's also for Thank You

2014-05-11T14:26:00.000-07:00

The best part about inspiration is that it can happen at anytime.

Though this story begins at DSW it’s not about shoes. It’s also not about why I despise shopping for shoes. It’s about trouser socks and more specifically the little things that matter most in life.

All I needed was a good pair of flats. I went into DSW thinking this wouldn’t take more than an hour. I found myself going up and down each aisle on the hunt for a great pair of flats. As I stopped to look for my size in a style I actually liked and found to be work appropriate I overheard a mother and daughter chatting behind me. I wasn’t paying too much attention to the conversation at first but as they walked closer to me it was hard not to listen to them. The mother found a pair of shoes for her daughter and asked her to try them on. The daughter put the shoes on and walked halfway down the aisle and turned towards her mom:

Mother (standing directly behind me): How do they feel?

Daughter: They fit, I think?

Mother: Well are they too tight, too big?

Daughter: No, they just feel weird and I don’t know what kind of socks I could wear with them?

Mother: You need to wear trouser socks with shoes like that, you can’t go barefoot or you’ll get blisters.

Daughter: Trouser socks? What are trouser socks?

With those four little words I was suddenly thinking of my own mom. My mom taught me about trouser socks. Actually, my mom taught me a lot about fashion, and make-up and all of the many details that go into being a girl. When it comes to teaching girls about life-details there are a lot of chapters to cover. I’m fortunate that my mom laid good groundwork for me and my sisters helped me hone my skills along the way.

What I loved most about witnessing this conversation between the mother and daughter and hearing the mom explain the definition of trouser socks was that it was a real conversation. It was a mom and a daughter speaking to each other directly, no phones, no iPads, no one but just the two of them. Though I’m not a parent, I can imagine the difficulties in trying to have a conversation with your teenage child, even when it’s about a topic as silly as trouser socks. It seems like we live in an age now where kids Google everything to find the answers. When I was growing up there was no Google. If you didn’t know the answer to something you know what you did? You asked your mom. If she didn’t know the answer she would tell you to go ask your father. And if he didn’t know you asked the closest sibling. That’s how research was performed when I was a kid and as you can imagine, it sure was a lot slower than Google. What Google makes up for in speed it certainly can’t make up for in personalization and learning from your parents and siblings.

My mind wandered from trouser socks to the days of elementary, (pronounced elemen-terry because I’m from Upstate NY), school when my mom selected my outfit every day of the week. I remember wearing lots of dresses, lots of stockings and lots of dress shoes. I don’t think I even wore jeans to school until I was in middle school. My mom made sure I was always dressed up and looking decent to be in public. I didn’t always like wearing dresses, especially when I was really young. I wanted to wear pants and sneakers. Now that I’m older I appreciate the effort my mom put into teaching me how to dress and how to dress appropriately for an activity or an event. I learned that you don’t wear white before Memorial Day or after Labor Day, you don’t wear velvet in the summer, horizontal stripes make you look wider, and you don’t wear black underwear under white pants. I still apply the rules I was taught as a kid but now I actually prefer to “dress up” when it comes to work. Dresses and skirts are more of the norm and even on Fridays jeans just don’t feel right.

I imagine what life would be like if I didn’t have a mom or sisters to assist me with these challenges, or even worse and much scarier of a thought……………if my dad had to dress me. Being an avid hunter, my dad is a big fan of LL Bean and Land’s End. I envision my closet would have seen a lot more denim, a lot more flannel shirts and I doubt I would own any trouser socks.

There are plenty of times my mom was probably wondering if I was listening to her when she was teaching me about clothes or other life lessons. I’m sure there were times that she was convinced that I wasn’t listening at all. The truth is I was listening. I was listening every time she told me that I couldn’t wear a t-shirt to school because it was too casual, or when she refused to let me walk out of the house with a wrinkled skirt and would iron something at the last minute for me and I certainly noted every act of tailoring she ever did to bring up a hem, mend a hole or sew a button on to a coat. I noticed all of them.

Some may say that these things don’t matter at all and that our clothes are just material items. But it’s not about the clothes it’s about the way you felt wearing the clothes. Clothing is one of the first ways we learn to express our personality and exercise our creativity. When you’re wearing a completed outfit you feel complete. (By complete I mean tailored, ironed, age appropriate, activity appropriate, comfortable and well-fitted.) A great outfit can make you feel great and when you feel great you’re confident. I think young girls need as many confidence boosters as possible and that boost can come from a great outfit, a great pair of shoes or just a simple pair of great trouser socks.

Moms wear a lot of hats. You can call them caregiver, nurse, teacher, coach, driver, chef, seamstress, advisor and so much more. But to me, I think the best word is gambler. (Yes, a gambler and your mom is a gambler, too.) In order for anyone to enter into a lifetime commitment, with no instruction manual and no guaranteed return on investment you have to be willing to gamble (and quite possibly a bit crazy). It takes a lot of risk to be willing to invest in another person with all of the knowledge in your mind, the experiences of your life and the love in your heart. It takes patience, it takes strength and it takes an extraordinary amount of faith.

Saying thank you to your mom on Mother’s Day may seem a little ubiquitous but it is probably the best two words you could say to the person who has gambled so much on you. Besides, shouldn’t the person who taught us to say “thank you” be the person who hears them the most?

Dedicated to my mother, Dorothy on Mother’s Day 2014.

Why I want you to run.

2014-04-06T18:35:00.003-07:00

I stood at the start lining, freezing. I thought to myself, “Why is it this cold in DC, in April?”

I overheard a group behind me. They were pumping each other up and yelling, “#Let’s do this”, “# YOLO”, “#Cherry Blossom 10M”, “#You can’t catch us”. I knew I had to separate myself from this group, fast.

The Cherry Blossom 10Miler is one of the popular running races held in DC each spring. The field is a little under 18,000 runners. As I looked around at the sea of people all shivering with their hands stuck under their arms to keep warm I noticed the variety of people. (Including a woman who had a shirt on that read, “If you’re behind me you didn’t train either”. Yep, not running behind her either.)

Anyone who thinks all runners are tall and skinny has never watched a road race. Runners come in all shapes and sizes and that’s why running is such a great form of exercise. Every race has the same three types of runners: the expert, (those who actually have a chance of winning the race), the “this ain’t my first rodeo”, (those who collect finishers medals and could line their driveway with race bib numbers) and the first timers, (those who have never run a race before and this is their first rodeo). The most mysterious part about these groups is that you can’t just look at someone and know which group they fall in. The girl who is all decked out with arm warmers, the most expensive running watch and the fanciest running shoes isn’t necessarily an elite runner. She could just be a really slow runner with an affinity towards good gear. The same goes for the guy who looks like he may be 25 lbs. overweight, wearing a cotton t-shirt and basketball shorts may just be the same guy who blows past you at mile 9. I admit that spotting these types of people and trying to put them in the right group is one of the ways I distract myself while running.

Another mystery about running is your time. You want to know the truth? No one cares. No one cares about your time except for you. Unless you have a chance of actually winning the race and can respond to the question, “So how did you do?” with the answer of, “I came in 1^st Place!”, no one cares. This is especially true when asked the question by people who don’t run. They have no idea what constitutes a good time or a bad time. This can be a good thing on the days you have a really bad race and it takes you an hour to run 1 mile. “That’s great, good job!” (said by non-runner)

So now that I’ve unraveled a few of the mysteries of running I’m going to tell you why I think you should run. There are plenty of reasons why you should lace up and start running. As I ran the race today I came up with the following list.

Top Ten Reasons Why You Should Run:

10. You finally have a real reason to stay in on Friday night. “Sorry I can’t go out, I have to do a long run tomorrow morning.” And if you have gone out the night before running is a great way to get rid of a hangover.

9. You burn about 100-110 calories per mile that you run. Which means you can burn that medium sized bag of French fries off in about 3 miles. My point? Running makes you look at your food choices differently.

8. No equipment needed. All you need is a decent pair of running shoes. Running shoes don’t need to be expensive. Once you’re fitted properly for the shoes that are right for your feet at a running store you can find lots of affordable options on line. There are always new styles coming out and the older style will get marked down. Never have I ever overheard at a starting line, “Oh my God, did you see her shoes? They are so last summer!” Runners don’t say things like this.

7. Road races provide the perfect opportunity for your creative friends to make signs and cheer you on as you run by. Spectators are an important part to any race!

6. Not only do you get FREE water during the race but once you cross the finish line it’s a banana lover’s dream. You can take as many as you want. Actually you could walk up with a giant bag and dump an entire box of bananas in your bag and no one would stop you.

5. Wearing your bib number into your Walgreens gives you a free pass for looking bad, smelling bad and having salt all over your face.

4. Running teaches you short cuts. Even in a neighborhood that I’ve lived in for years, I always manage to find a new way to get to somewhere when I decided to run a new route.

3. Running keeps your ticker ticking. Cardio exercise helps your heart pump stronger and helps your muscles utilize oxygen more efficiently.

2. Running provides endless ways to continue to push your self farther. A 5K can lead to a 10K to a half marathon to a marathon. Each race provides opportunities to improve your speed, meet new people and explore a new area or trail.

1. Because if you don’t push your self once in a while to go a little bit further you will never really know what you’re capable of accomplishing.

In addition to these benefits I listed above, I should also mention the mental benefits. Running helps me clear my head. I typically don’t listen to music if I run outside. There are so many things to listen to and look at that I find music to be more of a distraction. I do my best thinking when I’m running because there is nothing else competing for my attention. Running helps me focus, helps me distress and provides me with an opportunity for inspiration. (Example: I wrote this entire blog in my head while running today’s race.)

The magnificent truth about love.

2014-02-08T18:00:00.002-08:00

You can’t touch it but you can feel it.

You can’t hear it but you can listen to it.

You can’t see it but you can observe it.

One of the most powerful forces the human body can feel. It can bring you to the height of happiness and the depths of sadness. L O V E.

If you’ve been to a wedding you are probably familiar with 1 Corinthians 13: 4 -8:

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

You may have heard these verses numerous times, but how often have you actually thought about them?

Love is patient.

Love IS patient. In fact love takes more patience than anything else in our lives. Being patient is hard, but love is sometimes hard, too. But it’s worth it.

Love is kind.

Tonight after mass had ended I turned around to pick up my coat and caught sight of the couple who was seated a few pews behind me. The husband picked up his wife’s coat, waited for her to wrap her scarf, adjust her sweater and put on her hat. He stood there waiting for at least 30 seconds as she gathered all of her belongings and was ready for the final layer, her coat. Her husband was ready with her coat perfectly positioned for her arms to slide into. She buttoned her coat, he quickly put his on. As they made their way out of the pew he let her stand in front of him as they genuflected and when they turned to walk out he took her hand in his. It was such a simple series of actions, but it was definitely love.

Love is the simple gestures; love is waiting for someone even though you could be tending to your own needs. Love is letting someone go first. Love is holding hands. Love is being there, ready and waiting. Because love is simple.

It is not self-seeking.

Love is not about our needs, our ego, or our benefit. Love is always selfless. There is no expectation, no ulterior motives, no quid pro quo. We love for the sole benefit of someone else, we love because we can.

Love is meant to be shared, it’s meant to be communicated, it’s meant to create movement and in the process it moves us.

Love does not thrive in a grey scale world. It lives in the light. It is definitive. It is bold. It’s either there or it isn’t, there is no middle ground.

Love doesn’t require a turquoise box and a white ribbon. Love doesn’t require red roses because it’s Valentine’s Day. Love doesn’t require fancy things because it’s not a thing. Love is a verb, it requires us to act, it requires us to do, and even if it does require us to be patient or to wait, we know that ultimately that period of stillness will be followed by action. Love that is a noun is like taking a flower ready to bloom and burying it in a box. It sits there and the beauty is never shared with anyone. But when we allow it to bloom and allow it be a verb we see its full potential and we see something magnificent.

Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love.

-Leo Buscaglia

Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own.

-H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

It's Just Not Going To Work Out.

2012-10-04T20:44:00.002-07:00

I rushed out the door of the studio and bolted to the elevator lobby. While I waited for the elevator I changed my flip flops to heals, took my hair out of the clip and applied lip gloss. There was no time to look in a mirror as I was already 2 minutes late. Always trying to plan my week down to the last minute, I thought scheduling a date on a night I volunteered would work out perfectly. I didn’t schedule the 10 minute conversation about my dating life of all things and now I was running behind. I promised to pick up the conversation where we left off next week and said goodnight.

Luckily the meeting place was only 1 block away and I had the walk signal. Arrival time: 5 minutes late. Pretty normal by DC standards.

I apologized as soon as I introduced myself to my date. He had ordered a glass of wine already and was engrossed in his iPhone when I walked up.

There's a point in every date when we think to ourselves whether or not this is going to work. Sometimes it occurs early on, sometimes it’s towards the middle but more often than not before the date has wrapped up we know whether or not it’s going to work. That moment came not once but repeatedly through the 65 minutes I spent with this man. The first instance came after he told
me that I didn't look like any of the pictures on my profile. The rest of the evening served as a series of evidence backing up my original hypothesis.

This is my date and why it's not going to work out….

If I walk up and introduce myself and you're sitting down and don't stand up, it's not going to work out. I'm old school, standing when introducing yourself is common courtesy.

If you continue to text after I have sat down, looked through the menu and placed my drink order, it's not going to work out. I can see what you're doing on your phone from where I'm sitting and to continue the conversation with the person who isn't even there is a little displeasing.

If after we start our conversation, you pick up your phone again and write another text, it's not going to work out. I don't care if you're text messaging Obama about the debate right now please put your phone away. Mine is in my purse even though I would rather have it on my lap so I can monitor the time.

If you keep checking me out from the waste down while I'm in the middle of telling you about my siblings and where I grew up, it's not going to work out. You're 45 shouldn't you have 'covert checking out' mastered by now?

If the only topic of conversation you care to discuss in detail is your ex-wife, your ex-wife or your ex-wife, it's not going to work out. I understand that it’s a sensitive issue and you’re clearly still upset about it but telling me isn't going to change the past and I'm certainly not playing the role
of the free psychologist this evening. My name isn’t Lucy and I’m not looking for nickels.

If I find myself daydreaming about the inside of my refrigerator and assessing possible dinner combination options while wondering if I’ve consumed too much mayonnaise in one day already, while you're telling me another story about your ex-wife, it's so not going to work out.

If I contemplate discrete ways of asking you how you got to the restaurant so I can determine whether or not I may be stuck on the metro with you after this encounter, it's seriously not going to work.

If you felt compelled to tell me about your lucrative career, your client that made you millions, your house in the fancy part of town, the fact that your kids go to a super fancy private school and that you go on three vacations a year and then turn around and want change for your portion of the bill, it most certainly will not work out!

In my opinion, algebra should not be a part of any first date; period. If you can't offer up the $8 for my glass of wine, by all means, then let me treat you. I refuse to waste any time doing math in order to calculate how much you owe and how much I owe, and I'm certainly not waiting for the bartender to break both of our 20 dollar bills, this needs to wrap up…..stat.

I quietly put my wallet in my purse, placed my napkin on the table and stood up. He was in the middle of a story; I don’t remember what the subject matter was because I was no longer listening. My mind was now out the door, down the street and wondering how long it was until the next train. He looked at me as if to say, “Oh, we are leaving?” and I returned the look as I put my purse over my arm and started walking towards the exit with, “Why yes, we are leaving, we must go at once!” And with that I walked towards the door and didn’t look back.

I found myself standing on the corner next to a DC police woman who witnessed our awkward goodbye. I went for the handshake; he went for the hug, realizing the mistake I said aloud, “Oh, ok we can hug.” The police woman looked at me as my head perched over his shoulder and I did what came naturally; I rolled my eyes and opened my mouth. She smiled because she understood. I’m sure she’s seen it before.

As I crossed the street I somehow found myself thinking of a woman I see at the gym on lunch. I call her Miss Confidence, (that is, I call her that to myself, not to her face). I gave her that nickname because whenever I see her at the gym she is naked. I have never seen the woman clothed or actually using any gym equipment. Every time I see her it’s the same thing:

She’s standing in front of the mirror…..nude…….blow drying………….her body. Not her hair or anything north of her neck. Rather, all of the parts that are south of the waist. She does this in front of everyone. She bends over and does this…..in front of everyone. The first time I saw it I was amazed. I’ve seen naked women at the gym who love being naked. But I’ve never seen someone who is so confident and who uses a blow dryer with such moxy. I thought of her and imagined what she would have done in this situation. I know she would’ve had a remark that would’ve been the perfect combination of sarcasm, humor and b*tchiness in order to put this man turd in his place.

If I ever run into her fully clothed and dry I will certainly make friends with her and get her opinion.

2012-08-10T20:45:00.001-07:00

You are my sunshine

my only sunshine

you make me happy

when skies are grey

you'll never know, Pids

how much I love you

please don't take my sunshine away

Mommy will always love you.

Bert Wilson 09/15/2002 - 08/10/2012

My Eyes Are Up Here, A Short Story

2012-06-12T20:42:00.000-07:00

Excuse me, but are you staring at my *its?

We learn a lot of lessons when we are little. Those pearls of wisdom that we are expected to hone while we are young and become part of our core values as adults. You remember them...
Treat elders with respect
Don't take the last piece of anything
Never show up empty handed to a party (unless of course you're crashing it)
Don't swear (whoopsy!)
Don't roll your eyes at people who stand on the left of the escalators (guilty!)
Look people in the eye when you're talking to them.......

You get the picture.

I went to a happy hour event tonight. As I pulled up a chair at one of the tables I accidentally banged into the chair next to me. Before I had a chance to say I was sorry, the handsome face on the guy sitting in the chair looked up at me. I smiled. We introduced ourselves. He had big brown eyes and a charming smile.

We chatted for about 15 minutes. We were having a nice conversation. He was funny. He was smart. He was.......scoping? I couldn't help but notice that while we were talking his eyes kept lowering and gazing southward. He would ask me a question, I would answer it and then he would avoid eye contact and his eyes would wander, down there. Just as I was thinking how insulting his behavior was, he ended the conversation and got up from the table to get another drink at the bar, (even though we had a cocktail server assigned to our group). Quickly absorbed by a group of younger, skinnier and prettier girls, he was never to be seen of again for the rest of the evening.

So I did what any self-respecting woman does, I ordered another drink.

Fast forward to arriving home tonight. Right by the door to my apartment is a giant mirror. A mirror of any size would have been super helpful tonight, preferably before I went to the event. If I could add just one rule to the list above it would be: cover up your..........*its. And by (*), I mean Z, as in zits.

At the age of 37 I still get them, pimples. An enormous golf ball size, (maybe I'm slightly exaggerating), red, bump of angry flesh camping out on my face. After two days of intense treatment it was finally on the mend. I thought I had covered it up pretty well but my make-up was no match against the awful DC humidity. There it was staring at me when I got home, waving its big red flag like an astronaut claiming territory on my giant moon of a face. I think a tear drop tattooed on my cheek would have been less noticeable, (and definitely much hipper).

The moral of the story is, if you're talking to someone and they're not looking you in the eye, they could very well be staring at your giant ZITS. Ai yi yi.

The Pursuit of Peace

2012-05-28T12:36:00.002-07:00

For the past year and a half I have volunteered at Learning Ally, formerly Reading for the Blind & Dyslexic. As the name implies, my efforts go into helping the blind and dyslexic community by reading textbooks, novels, and short stories that are recorded and put on tape. I guarantee that I get much more out of this process than the individuals who are subjected to listening to my voice guide them through their psychology text book or social studies lesson. I go in once a week and even though my commute or the stresses of the day may make me a little frazzled when I arrive, I always leave feeling relaxed and at peace. The older I get the more I seem to be looking for this in my life. A sense of peace in everything I do. My interactions with friends, family, coworkers, my job, my neighbors, I strive to find peace in everything. Sometimes I fail miserably, but on nights that I volunteer I do find that sense of peace. If I miss the train as I head back to my apartment and have to wait 10 minutes then so be it. I have to learn to accept that sometimes we are not in the driver’s seat, we are just the passenger. I secretly believe this is why we have smart phones and reading material (like this blog), to keep us occupied when we are waiting for trains…..or doctors.

Earlier in the month Learning Ally asked me to attend their annual spring gala at The House of Sweden. I was really excited to go to such a fancy event. Dressing up is always fun, especially when you have a sister who can style you for anything and loves to shop, (thanks again, Gab). The nice thing about going to events by yourself is that you pretty much operate on your own agenda. During the cocktail hour I bounced around and met several couples and chatted with them about Learning Ally. (They had no idea what the organization did and were given tickets through their employers who bought tables.) Everyone I met was about my age or a bit older and they were all very pleasant to chat with and very nice.

Little did I know that the most extraordinary people I would meet would be fellow volunteers.

The lights flickered for everyone to move to the downstairs dining area. I found my table and introduced myself to the other volunteers and their guests; they were all couples. Most of the people at the table were on the other side of 65. I found a chair next to Ed. Ed had a face that was a combination of Donald Sutherland with a Jack Nicholson smile; I felt at ease immediately. We discussed the obvious, how long we have each volunteered and why we started volunteering in the first place. I learned a lot about Ed. He volunteered with his wife, Mary, who was sitting on the other side of him and as equally charming. They put my volunteer hours to shame when they told me that they would go in to the studio for 4 hours every Tuesday afternoon. They both shared a passion for reading and learning which was evident in their conversation and speech. They were both so easy to talk to, I didn’t have to raise my voice for them to hear me, they were sharp and witty, and best of all they thought I was funny.

I learned that Ed used to be a professor of American Literature at American University. He left teaching to pursue a career in the Foreign Service. He had traveled the world and been to so many extraordinary places. I found myself hanging on his every word as he told me of all the places he had visited and the countries he has lived in over the course of his employment. Mary was also in the Foreign Service and they met in Beirut. She said, “You see, I had to go halfway around the world to meet the love of my life!” The remark made me smile as she reached over and held Ed’s hand.

Ed told me about his two sons and grandchildren. Mary and Ed were planning a trip out west to Colorado to see one of their sons and his family for a week. They had a granddaughter who was graduating from high school. They told me the names and ages of all 5 grandchildren and what each one of them was doing. It was clear they were very proud of their family. I asked Ed what other things he does during the day since he was retired. He responded, “Well, we spend a lot of time going to the doctors, you know that’s what happens when you get old.” He then disclosed that he has diabetes and Mary has bone cancer in her hip. She walks with a cane and has difficulty getting around sometimes. I told him about my back surgery a few years ago. I explained that after the experience I never took for granted the gift of mobility and that being able to get around on your own two feet is a blessing every day. He nodded and agreed with me.

The next thing out of Ed’s mouth struck me. “I’m very blessed and I’ve lived a great life. I have seen so many wonderful places and I have a lot of happy memories.” At first it made me sad to hear him say this because I felt like he was talking about his life in the past tense. But I realized that he was simply accepting his own mortality and that someday, who knows when, he was going to perish. The weight of this message wasn’t just carried in what he said; it was how he said it.

Ed was at peace.

I realized while sitting next to him that I, too, was at peace. I think that’s what we all want when we get older and have checked off the boxes on our bucket list. We are simply looking for a sense of peace in what we’ve done with our time here in this life and we are looking for love from those that are surrounding us.

My mom turned 70 last year. My family gathered and had a special dinner for her at a restaurant in my home town. During the dinner I looked around the table at all of my siblings and their families. A lot of my nieces and nephews are grown up and are, (dare I say), adults. It made me sad because I know if they are getting old, then I’m getting old. But it also made me excited. Excited to wonder what is in store for them and where their path in life will lead them.

I think it must be a pretty amazing accomplishment when you’re 70 to look around a big dining room table of people and know that you’re the reason why all these people came together and will continue to be bonded forever. I think if everyone started out their lives and careers with the pursuit of peace for when they turn 70, 80, or 90, we probably would do things a little differently. But we would probably miss out on a lot of important life lessons at the same time.

To everyone who reads this blog, I wish you a long life that takes you on a journey which not only satisfies your curiosities and passions but finds you at a dinner table many years from now, old, really old, with lots and lots of wrinkles and incredible stories that you’re willing to share with a complete stranger. I wish that you’re able to emit the same amount of peace that Ed did, and absorb the same amount of love in return.

Laughter…..Love…….Peace.

The Secret Joy of Being Small

2012-02-27T21:24:00.000-08:00

{Run fast for your mother and fast for your father
Run for your children for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind you
Can't carry it with you if you want to survive}

{So I'm sailing for tomorrow
My dreams are a dyin'.
And my love is an anchor tied to you
Tied with a silver chain.
I have my ship
And all her flags are a flyin'
She is all that I have left
And music is her name}

{Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace}

{Happiness
Something in my own place
I'm standing naked
Smiling, I feel no disgrace
With who I am}

{Make me a channel of your peace
Where there's despair in life, let me bring hope
Where there is darkness, only light
And where there's sadness, ever joy}

{I'll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down}

{And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand}

The first time I heard the song “On Eagle’s Wings”, I was a little girl sitting in St. Joseph’s church in Cayuga, NY. I remember the way I felt when I heard the song. I listened to the chorus and the words took me on a journey. I thought that God must be a giant if he was capable of holding me in the palm of his hand. I remember feeling small; very small. But small in a good way, like I was just a tiny fractal in a big universe. Although I felt small, I didn’t feel alone, I felt protected.

This past week I heard the song, twice; once on Ash Wednesday and again on Saturday. Every time I hear this song I find it difficult to sing the chorus. I start to tear up and have to look up at the ceiling. It’s one of my favorite songs to sing at mass still to this day. The song makes me feel light, like I’m floating on a cloud and traveling through the sky. I wonder what it must feel like to shine like the sun.

Music amazes me. It has the ability to make us feel every emotion possible. Happiness, joy, sadness, anger, wonder, excitement…
It can instantly change our mood.
Force us to ponder issues we don’t discuss.
Bring us to undiscovered corners of our imagination.
And even make us contemplate our own mortality.

All of the lyrics above are smaller portions of larger songs; the part that I gravitate to, sing in my head and speak to me in a secret way. They give me peace.

The beauty of music is that once we hear it, we can remember it, store it in our heart and carry it with our spirit. Once something has touched our spirit, it has touched us forever.

I saw a story on the NBC news this week about Eric Whitacre’s Virtual Choir. After watching the video on YouTube I felt that familiar feeling. The feeling of being small, but not alone, and knowing that we are surrounded by millions of other individuals and that we are all part of something much, much bigger.

Watch the video, it’s beautiful.
http://youtu.be/D7o7BrlbaDs

Run, Walk, Bike....Just Do Something

2011-10-09T21:08:00.000-07:00

4 jersey walls, 3 scrapes to my leg and hands and 10 miles later, I completed the Army 10 Miler.

It was a rough start as races go. I didn't get to the race as early as I had hoped and was rushing to get to the start on time, hence the jersey wall climbing. I noticed a girl looking at my hand as we waited for the gun at the starting line and realized my hand was bleeding. Pretty sure the skin I was missing was probably back on the last jersey wall. Finally we were moving and my thoughts went to other things then the stinging sensation on my finger and shin. At the beginning of every race I do the same thing. I look around and size up the competition. I know I'm not the fastest runner but there's still a competitive side in me. A few miles into a race I usually find someone that I'm running next to or behind and I check out their form, compare our paces and of course, see what type of sneakers they're wearing. Today I found myself in back of a girl who wore shirt that read, "Steel Horse". Miles later I lost her but still found myself looking for her, "Where's Iron Horse, or was it Iron Fist? Where did the Iron Curtain go?"

As you can guess by the name the race had a military theme. I saw many soldiers who served both past and present. One of the many noteworthy characteristics about the military is their sense of "we". They always have each other's backs and look out for one another. Along the way I was motivated by genuine acts of teamwork and support. Lots of people cheering on in the crowds flanking the street which comprised of proud spouses and children holding posters for their loved one that was running. But the most motivating people were the people I was running next to.

I wasn't able to stick to the training plan I created and ended up doing my longest run at only 8 miles. I would worry about how to get through the last two on race day. How did I do it? I willed myself. I started visualizing the word BELIEVE. And yes, it worked. There were times when I thought I felt a cramp coming on but I just stuck to my mantra of "believe". I also found myself changing the lyrics to the song, "I could really use a wish right now" to "I could really use a downhill now", that helped too. Around mile 4 I saw a man on the side of the road. He was sitting down and changing his prosthetic leg, both of them. He had a team of people surrounding him that we're helping him and cheering him on. I saw several other wounded warriors out on the 10 mile stretch. Some of them running with one prosthetic, some of them had two. All of them were running fast, a lot of them faster than me, but all of them were out there giving this race their all. None of them were complaining about a cramp, threatening to stop. My inspiration had been found.

It's amazing what the human mind can do. When you focus on something, will yourself to keep pushing and visualize successfully completing a goal it can really happen. And when that doesn't work, take a look around to see how other people are accomplishing their goals. Cramps, a rough start or a skinned shin are both minor and fleeting. I'm fortunate to be able to run races. I think it's sad that a lot of people who are inactive don't realize the natural gifts and talents their functioning bodies afford them. Whatever your activity is, be it walking, running or biking, it's important to do it with purpose and to push yourself. If you don't ever push your body once in a while you'll never really know what your capable of physically. Be thankful for your body and treat it well, you only get one.

I dedicate this blog to the men and women in our military who ran this race today, to those who are serving in a war and couldn't be here to run and to those we have lost in the war that were never given the opportunity.

My Life as a Seinfeld Episode

2011-08-28T18:55:00.000-07:00

One of the first jobs I had was working in retail. I've worked in all kinds of stores; shoe, jewelry and clothing. I remember one Christmas season when I was working at the clothing store and running late. I had a tendency of always running late, sometimes really late. My hair was as big as my attitude and I thought I had everything figured out like most of us in our early 20's. As I pulled into the mall parking lot like a bat out of hell, going way too fast and frantically looking for a spot, a guy backed out of a spot in front of me. I had to slam on my brakes because I was going so fast and narrowly avoided side swiping the car. Like any 20 something who was at fault but couldn't admit it, I did what came naturally, I got pissed at the guy who pulled out in front of me. I waved my fist in the air and flagged him with one dramatic middle finger while mouthing words I would never say in front of a priest. The guy, who was most likely equally startled at the sight of my black Ford Tempo racing towards him and the sight of me inside with all my big hair raging around me, looked frightened for a moment, but then he returned my fistful of anger with his own. I locked eyes with the guy and remembered his face. He pulled forward, I drove around him and ran inside to work. The situation wrapped up as quick as it had started, at least it did in my mind.

About a week later, I was back at work for a day shift on a Saturday. My boss was looking forward to her lunch break because she was meeting family and they were going to do some Christmas shopping. I was behind the counter checking out a customer. As I finished putting her item in the bag I looked up and saw someone standing off to the side of the cash wrap but didn't take a good look at them. As my customer left my boss walked up and said, "OK, I'm going to head to lunch now, my dad's here" and she looked in the direction behind me. I turned around and low and behold there's the man from the parking lot incident! My boss made the introduction, "Dad, I want you to meet my coworker, Marianne." My face must have turned a million shades of crimson. He looked me in the eye, those same eyes that I had looked into a week prior,(and flipped a massive bird to), and said, "Oh, we met last week in the parking lot, I'm Tanya's father."

I had some explaining and apologizing to do that afternoon when my boss returned from lunch.

The world is a small, small place. And just when you think it's big, it gets even smaller.

This past winter I started taking boot camp or as I like to call it, booty camp. I took the class with my friend twice a week on Mondays and Wednesdays. We realized right away that there was a clique of sorts in booty camp. This clique consisted of the die hard boot campers who had been taking the class for years, unlike my friend and I. The instructor called the members of the clique by their first names which meant he knew them well. He would ask them to do stuff like set up equipment, put weights away, etc. I was kind of happy the instructor didn't know my name after seeing the chores he would make them do.

The clique had a group of girls that consisted of a few really butchy looking girls and a few really bitchy looking girls. As for the latter, there was a duo of a brunette and a blonde. The blonde was just not nice. She always had this look on her face that kind of said, "all of you guys could be standing here on fire and I could have a bucket of water in my hands and I wouldn't help you." She was the kind of girl who would take two mats for herself when the instructor would specifically say, "We ran out of mats, is anyone using two?" And she would sit there with her big ass on two mats and never make any attempt to give one to someone who would end up using their towel instead. (I know this b/c I witnessed her first hand depositing two mats back on the rack at the end of class; trust me she wasn't picking up someone else's to be a good Samaritan either.)

During our boot camp class there would be times when we would have to pass a weight or a bar to the next person in class. Most people would do it with some type of exchange like, "thanks!" and "no problem!" or "you're welcome!". Not her. She would shove her big arm out and extend the weight towards you as if to say, "You better grab this bitch because I'm about to let go, and if it hits the floor, it sure ain't my fault!" The brunette was just her sidekick. I never actually heard her say anything mean or act rude towards anyone. She was guilty by association.

A few weeks ago I had a doctor appointment with my primary care physician. I never actually see the doctor, I just go to the physician's assistant. After getting the blood work portion done I was told to sit in the waiting room because Amanda was running behind schedule. As I cleaned out my Gmail inbox I heard a voice call my name. I stood up, grabbed my purse and started walking toward the door. As I made eye contact with the person holding the door and my chart, I had to do a double take. Was I seeing things because I hadn't eaten in 12 hours? Or was the girl that I was walking towards the brunette from the booty camp clique? I took a few more steps, squinted and realized it was her. One of the booty camp bitches was my PA? How did this happen? I've been going to my doctor for years and have never seen her in here before.

Apparently, I had though. She did my last appointment in 2010 turns out. Somehow the connection was never made at the gym. Maybe it was the lack of a white jacket and stethoscope?

I followed her back to the exam room and took a seat. She didn't recognize me, or did she? We exchanged the normal hellos and she started in with the routine questions. It was somewhere between asking if I was taking any new medications and if I had any surgeries in the past year where I just erupted and said, "You go to the WSC around the corner on the Connecticut, right?" She was like, "I thought you looked really familiar. You're in my boot camp class." We chatted about the class, the instructor and how we were looking to do something different over the summer to change things up. I quickly realized, this girl is not a bitch, in fact, she's actually really nice.

Then my mind started racing as I thought about what the rest of the exam entailed. She's going to see me, like almost naked. I wasn't sure how I felt about booty camp cliquester knowing what I look like without a top on. But then I rationalized, she can see me without a top on in the locker room just as easily, if not easier. She's a professional and this is a doctor's office so I just needed to relax and get through this general physical. I admit that laying there on the table as she did the EKG and I was completely exposed on the top didn't really make me comfortable. She told me some funny stories about our booty camp instructor so that helped pass the time. Before I knew it I was walking out the door and heading back to work. All the while thinking, this is definitely going in the blog.

The lesson I learned here in both of these stories is that the world is very small. You never know if that guy who delivers your FedEx packages at work may turn out to be your friend's new boyfriend. The person on the elevator could be a VP from corporate that you never met before and that person you flipped a bird to could be your boss's father. Everyone is someone. The other lesson learned it that it never pays to judge people by the company they keep. It's a lot harder to do than it sounds and clearly I was guilty of doing it. Sometimes our friends act like douche bags and we can't control their behavior. But that doesn't mean we should be labeled or blamed for their actions.

I'm passing this lesson on because I think it's worth repeating and publicizing and I hope it prevents someone from making the same mistake. The older we get the wiser we get.

"Life isn't about learning to climb the hill in front of us, it's about learning to navigate the entire mountain range" -Mw

Learning to Share the Facebook Way

2011-08-21T19:00:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Facebook (FB) we are able to connect to people on a virtual level anytime, anywhere. We can share photos, useless details about our day, a great sale at our favorite store or an impromptu happy hour at a local bar. All of this posting and status updating has lots of benefits, but it also has a downside. The fine line between "over sharing" and "connecting" has become so smudged that I sometimes find myself reading an update and thinking, "I really didn't need to know that." Everyone's "privacy settings" on their level of discretion are different. I am not a big status update person. The details of my existence are shared with the people that need to know and who want to know; this doesn't include the 400+ friends I have on FB. The great thing about any social networking site is that we are able to express ourselves how we feel comfortable. Some people are really comfortable expressing themselves and with that I have come up with my biggest pet peeves on FB status updates. Some of you are going to get angry when you read this, but this is my opinion and only my opinion. If you're offended then we can agree to disagree.

FB Status Pet Peeves

1) Photos of feet. I know what you're thinking, you were on vacation and wanted everyone to know you were on vacation but you were by yourself and didn't want to ask someone to take a photo of you, tried several times unsuccessfully to take your own picture and finally gave up and took a photo of your feet as proof. I have never met anyone whose feet were better looking than their face. I would rather see an off centered, close up of one eyeball than see a picture of your feet. Seriously, enough of the feet.

2) Photos of food. I'm not sure when this trend started or why, but what's up with photos of food? Photos of wine are good, especially if you're drinking alone. That way people know they should come find you so you're not drinking alone anymore. Trust me, no one wants to see photos of my food. For lunch you would see a spinach salad with tuna fish and carrots and craisins. You also don't want me to describe it in detail followed by the word, "yummy!" The word yummy is best used on people under the age of 9. Once you hit the double digits you gotta stop using that word. So unless you're getting personally served by Mike Isabella at Graffiato or you're on the Today show cooking with Giada, posting photos of your food is like white noise to me.

3) Photos of car thermometers. If you and I live in the same city, I'm fully aware of how hot outside it is on any given day. Thanks to national weather forecasts, I also know how hot it is in any other part of the country. You taking a photo of the temp your car is reading is not providing anyone with useful information. And if you're dumb enough to take it while driving you're just being ignorant. Do you really want to be that person who rear ended someone b/c you were taking a photo of the temperature on your dashboard?

4) Photos of cuts, scrapes, bruises or bug bites. If it's a sunburn and you have a big hand mark on your back, that's funny. But I don't need to see anything else. Sorry that you fell and scraped your knee. Grab a band-aid, put some neosporin on it and ask your BFF to kiss it, but don't photograph it.

5) The details of your sickness. If you're sick in the hospital I want to know. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you. If you're home with the common cold, the flu or your hungover, you can just leave it at that, "Sparky isn't feeling well today, drank too much at Circa last night." When you tell me more than that and use words like vomit, mucous or (my least favorite), diarrhea, you make me feel sick, too. Don't over share when you're sick, less is more.

6) Any photo taken while you're driving a car. See #3; enough said.

7) Posts telling me I need to re post your status if I love my dog, my sister or Jesus. My sisters and my family know I love them because I tell them. My mom and dad are not on FB so I have to tell them the "old fashioned" way and actually tell them. Jesus knows I love him because I go to mass. Last time I checked Jesus wasn't on FB either.

8) Political Rants and Bashing. Again, everyone has an opinion. If you want to post something that endorses your candidate go for it. The problem I have is when other people attack the person posting and start bashing that person's beliefs. Write whatever you want on your wall and as your status, but telling someone that they're "crazy" or an "idiot" for supporting someone that you don't agree with is overly aggressive. I think all of us have friends that do this and any use of the trigger words Democrat or Republican can send them into orbit about whatever subject is being discussed. These people need to join a meet up group or start a debate team; leave my FB wall out of it and take your soap box elsewhere.

9) Constantly Checking In. I get it, you're out at a bar and you want your posse to know where to find you. But the gym? Whole Foods? Getting your oil changed? I mean what's next, checking in for a bikini wax? That's great your 2000 miles are up and you need an oil change. If a family of raccoons was discovered under the hood by all means, take photos and share it. But if it's just your routine oil change keep that between you and the guy at Jiffy Lube.

Disclaimer: The context of this post is not directed to anyone in particular and should not be seen as a personal attack in any way. This is my two cents, and only that. Post whatever you want and use your FB page as you wish. But when I start over sharing and doing anything mentioned above, please let me know immediately.

The FB may be responsible for decreased productivity in the workplace, decreased attendance at high school reunions, it can also take credit for increasing friendships, socializing and spreading good news and humor. And, I think anything that increases the amount we laugh during the day is definitely a good thing.

"Life isn't about learning to climb the hill in front of us, it's about learning to navigate the entire mountain range" -Mw

No Survey, Profile or Witty Email Required

2011-08-10T20:04:00.000-07:00

I disagree with the statement that as we get older our "list of must haves" in a mate gets smaller because we are settling. I believe that the list gets tapered down because we realize what is important. The list becomes leaner because all of the fat has been cut out. I don't think you should have to fill out a lengthy question and answer survey in order to summarize what you're looking for in a partner. If you could ask for any three qualities in a person, what would they be?

These are mine...

1. Kill the Spiders.

Translation: Helping me face my fears.
Anyone who knows me is aware of my hatred of spiders. I rarely use the word "hate", in fact to me it's one of the worst words you can ever use. (This coming from someone who has a mouth of a truck driver and while at work the other day exclaimed, "Mother F*cker!" when my favorite pen died mid-sentence. When my co-worker asked, "Did you just say, Mother F*cker?" I said, "Yes, I did. I'm sorry if it offended you." He responded, "No, it didn't offend me but what happened?" I responded, "My favorite pen died. I'm left handed and it's hard to find pens that don't smudge. That was the only pen that I have here at work that didn't smudge, so it's a pretty big freaking deal!" He laughed and walked away. I'm pretty sure he thinks I have turrets.)

No, I don't think all spiders should die. Only the ones that ones that come into contact with me. The other day while walking out for my morning run I nearly walked smack dab into the middle of a web with a huge spider sitting right in the middle. I screamed and most likely woke up my neighbors. The spider ran away and with a couple of "kung fu" chops I was able to knock down the web and run for my life all the while splaying my hands back and forth as if I was putting out an invisible fire.

I realize I need someone to kill the spiders in my life for me. Maybe they can show me that they're not so scary after all. They can help me over come my fear and in turn make me a stronger person.

2. Put the fitted sheet on the bed.

Translation: Being a teammate with the everyday minutia that makes up life.
I dread changing sheets. Not so much the taking off part, but the putting them back on. I've tried all the tricks: do opposite corners, lift up the mattress corner, shove your knee into the mattress, etc. Because of this, putting the fitted sheet on the mattress has become the domestic chore I despise the most. I would rather clean my entire bathroom with a single paper towel and a tooth brush than have to struggle with a mattress corner. The tugging, pulling, breaking my nails and wrenching my back is a weekly wrestling match and I'm never the winner.

Some people say they wish they had someone that cleaned or cooked or did laundry. What all of that boils down to is having a teammate. Each person has the tasks they don't enjoy doing but when you have someone to help you out with the daily grind it makes life a lot easier.

3. Hold the sign for me at the finish line.

Translation: Support me no matter which race I'm running and what place I'm in.
Nothing compares to finishing a race and having someone there to cheer you on, either holding a sign or holding a water bottle or holding you upright. Everyone needs support and encouragement. Whether we are leading the pack and finishing in the top ten or bringing up the rear and finishing dead last. The support of someone who truly believes in you, even at times when you're doubting yourself, is the best feeling in the world.

The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
-G.K. Chesterton

Someone Like You
-Van Morrison

I've been searching a long time
For someone exactly like you
I've been travelling all around the world
Waiting for you to come through.
Someone like you makes it
All worth while
Someone like you keeps
Me satisfied. Someone exactly
Like you.

I've been travellin' a hard road
Lookin' for someone exactly like you
I've been carryin' my heavy load
Waiting for the light to come
Shining through.
Someone like you makes it
All worth while
Someone like you keeps
Me satisfied. Someone exactly
Like you.

I've been doin' some soul searching
To find out where you're at
I've been up and down the highway
In all kinds of foreign lands
Someone like you... etc.

I've been all around the world
Marching to the beat of a different
Drum.
But just lately I have
Realized
The best is yet to come.

How Much is that Doggy in the......in Front of the Cat Aquarium?

2011-07-07T21:03:00.000-07:00

Sticky.
Hot.
Humid.
And we had only been standing outside for 15 minutes.

It was a beautiful sunny Sunday morning and my sister Gaby and I had just arrived at PetSmart. We were going to be spending the next few hours volunteering at the Lucky Dog Animal Rescue Adoption Event that was being held in the parking lot. I knew it was going to be a difficult undertaking. I remembered volunteering with my friend Laurin in Boston about 5 years ago. She helped out at an animal shelter by taking the dogs on walks. I joined her one afternoon. I had never been at a pound or rescue shelter before and didn't think twice about what I was walking into that day. I grew up with dogs and loved being around them. Any shape or size, it didn't matter. I never had a decision in the selection process of the pets we had as a child. My father either knew someone or knew of a place that was breeding and he would go out and bring home a puppy. They were always a surprise, even to my mother, and they were always a spoiled a member of the family.

So when I walked in with Laurin to the shelter I had no idea the emotional tornado that was about to hit me. To this day I cannot watch an ASPCA commercial with a Sarah McLachlan song playing in the background because it makes me think of this experience. It wasn't the smell of the shelter, it wasn't the sounds of the shelter, it was what I saw. Cages and cages of dogs flanking a single aisle that seemed to go on for infinity. I looked at each of them. Their little faces spoke to me and they all shared the same message:

"Please take me home. I promise I won't make you mad like my last owner and I only want to make you happy. I will greet you everyday at the door with a wagging tail. I'll be your biggest cheerleader when you're in need of support and the best pillow you could ask for when you need a good cry. Just please don't make me spend another night in this place. If you take me home I will love you unconditionally, forever."

I may not be "the dog whisperer" but I definitely felt something that day. My eyes filled up with tears and I had to go outside. I was able to walk the dogs and help out because Laurin agreed to bring the dogs out to me so I didn't have to go back inside. One of the things I gained that day was a sense of awareness about the animal population problem. Its magnitude was something I had never really observed first hand.

Fast forward to this past Sunday. I tried telling myself to not look too closely at the dogs. I was there to volunteer and to help these dogs get a home, I can do this. We checked in and had a quick orientation on how to handle the dogs. Our job was to hold on to the dog's leash and answer any questions a perspective owner may have about the dog's breed, age, background, etc. I noticed lots and lots of volunteers arriving. The woman from Lucky Dog informed us that there would be close to 60 dogs at the event that day. That was a lot more than I had anticipated.

We lined up and were assigned to a dog. While I waited I observed the vehicles pulling up to the curb and unloading the dogs. Each vehicle was as unique as its occupants. Sedans, mini-vans, SUV's, each one filled with three or four dogs. I saw mixes of what appeared to be Chihuahuas, Beagles, Labs, Collies, Pit Bulls, Mutts, they just kept coming and coming and that's when it happened. My eyes landed on a very senior Golden Retriever, he was really old. There was so much white hair around his sweet face and he kind of walked with a gimp.

And then I lost it.

Tears filled my eyes and I felt all the muscles in my face tense up as I tried to prevent what was bound to happen. The advantage to being out in the hot sun was that no one knew if I was crying or sweating behind my sunglasses. After a few pinches to the back of my arm to get it together I stopped crying. It was hard and I couldn't look at that golden again. My sister Donna has a Golden Retriever named Sarge. I think about how sweet of a dog he is and how much he loves his family and everyone he meets. I tell him how handsome he is every time I visit him and his tail sways back and forth as if to say, "Oh, thank you, thank you very much. Please keep petting me!" I can't imagine seeing Sarge at an adoption event. This old Golden Retriever shouldn't have been at PetSmart that afternoon. He should have been sitting on a front porch somewhere enjoying a belly rub at the foot of his owner. Watching him pulverized my heart into a million pieces.

Before long it was my turn and I was matched up with my partner for the afternoon, Arnold.

Arnold was between 6 - 8 years old but I imagine he was much older judging by his difficulty getting around that day. He was a beagle and the other most noteworthy characteristic was that he was super duper lazy. I made a vow to myself that I was going to try my hardest to get this dog out of "the system". He was a cute dog, big clear eyes, small to medium build and he had a warm personality. The repeat volunteers all greeted him by name when they saw me walk over with him. This wasn't his first "rodeo" apparently.

We stood out front of PetSmart with the other volunteers and their dogs under a small tent since it was hot. I knew that Arnold was warm and preferred the shade but we needed to be out front on the sidewalk if we were going to have any hope of someone seeing us and taking Arnold home. We alternated between the shade of the tent, the sidewalk and going in to the store. Arnold found a water bowl under the tent and laid down right next to it. Trying to get him to leave it was not an easy chore. I had to tug and tug on his leashes quickly realizing why he was handed to me with two instead of one. I felt bad making him sit on the sidewalk but it was my job to market this little guy and I wanted to do it right. I watched as families with small children and single adults came up to the area and looked around. The Lab was a big hit and so were the two sets of puppies. Children love puppies. Arnold wasn't a puppy though. The white fur on his face gave that away. Sadly, most people weren't interested in an older dog.

I can understand why the lure of a puppy is more appealing than an adult dog. You get to watch them grow up, train them and you have more time with them. But an adult dog has perks, too. They're housebroken, they've already gone through the destructive puppy stage and they're a lot more mellow. No one was looking at the older dogs though. I thought about my sister Marilyn and all of the Shelties she had adopted over the years. She had rescued dogs and wasn't an "ageist" about the selection process. The dogs she has adopted are some of the luckiest dogs in the world as she provides them with the best care possible and a very loving home. I know she would agree with me when I say that they have added a lot of love to her life.

In the midst of our "marketing campaign" Arnold started making this strange noise. Just as someone came up to look at the Lab. I thought positioning ourselves next to the lab would help so I hung out by her for a while. But when Arnold started making this "reverse sneeze" as I would later learn about, everyone looked the other way. "What is he doing? Is he OK? Does he do that a lot?" I thought to myself, Arnold, not the time to be reverse sneezing. We decided to go into the store.

As we turned the corner by the puppy training area of PetSmart I suddenly felt a tug on the leash. Arnold had decided to head a different direction and something had caught his attention. Along the wall of the store was the kitten and cat aquarium. They were stacked on floor, i.e. eye level with Arnold. He became instantly fixated on the first container holding two kittens. The kittens were confused and intrigued at the same time. They fearlessly approached the glass and batted at Arnold. Arnold didn't bark or growl, instead for the first time I heard a "swish swish swish" sound coming from his tail as it merrily conducted a symphony of bliss. He was happy and content; it made me smile to watch him. So content that he laid down on the floor and continued to stare at the felines for a good 20 minutes.

Not wanting to miss out on a potential adoption I decided it was best to go back outside. Only Arnold had another idea. He knew what was out there. It was hot, it was crowded and I think deep down he knew no one had been looking at him. Maybe that's why he stared his reverse sneezing in the first place? I finally coaxed him, (or rather pulled incessantly), away from the cats and we headed for the door. Almost on cue, like he knew where we were heading, Arnold stopped, lifted his leg and relieved himself on the corner of a display. A girl who was also volunteering walked by, "Wow, he really had to go!" Arnold gave me a look as if to say, "don't know why you need to take me outside now, we can stay in here if you want, how about we head back over to those kittens?"

I was worried. Things were not looking good. An older dog? Reverse sneezes? And now throw in bladder control issues?

I wish I could say this story ends with an older couple who were recent empty nesters looking to fill a void in their life, lay eyes on Arnold and it was a match made in heaven. But that didn't happen. Instead the adoption event ended and I brought Arnold back up for check out. The woman at the table had to look up who was taking Arnold and told me that he was going with Kathleen. While waiting for Kathleen I overheard the woman speaking to the handler behind me. Her dog required medication. "Hold on a second, Victoria! Doug needs his medicine!" I thought about what a meticulous process this must be for the shelter to keep track of every dog's medication and needs. That's a lot of work and lot of detail to remember. Thankfully, Arnold didn't require medication.

Kathleen approached and I walked Arnold to her car. As she packed up the other two dogs she was transporting Arnold took a spot under the car in the shade. The poor guy was so hot. You could tell he just wanted to sit down and stick his head out the window. I hope he was able to do that. I said good bye to him quickly and with minimal eye contact. Not because I mean, but because there was no other way.

My hope is that Arnold finds a home soon. That he inherits a wonderful family who will take care of him the rest of his days. I hope he can get into a routine that doesn't involve a weekly stop at a PetSmart in hopes to find a home, but rather a trip to PetSmart for a new toy or a chance to watch the kittens again. My wish is that he finds his soul mate who will be the perfect owner, who will take care of him, let him sit on the sofa and watch animal planet and take him on short walks, very short walks. Every dog has its day, I hope Arnold's comes soon.

To learn more about Lucky Dog Animal Rescue please go to:

http://www.luckydoganimalrescue.org/

You can also "Like" them on Facebook.

Not able to adopt? You can volunteer in many ways by fostering, providing transportation or being a dog handler at an adoption event. Organizations like this depend on volunteers who are willing to give up a few hours of their week to help out. You will not regret one minute of the time you volunteer, promise.

And last but not least, please spay or neuter your pets and urge others to do the same. The world has too many good animals already and not enough good homes.

Please share my blog with anyone who is a dog lover.

"People are motivated by many things....money, love, time, fame, success. A dog is only motivated by love."

Growin' Up in the 70's Ain't So Bad in Retrospect

2011-03-28T20:34:00.000-07:00

Every morning while I get ready for work I watch/listen to the Today Show. I've done this for years. Sometimes I hear part of a story and try to find a way to continue getting ready while standing in the living room without a mirror in front of me. The results have been disastrous at times: hair getting sucked up into my blow dryer, mascara all over my face and lipstick that clearly went outside the "lines". Today I was drawn into the story about the Abercrombie & Fitch padded bikini for young girls. For those of you who may have missed it:

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/42303863#42303863

This story made me think about a lot of things. If you're reading this and think it doesn't impact you b/c you don't have children of your own, you're wrong. Social problems are everyone's problem to deal with b/c we're all in this together. Does our society really condone a 7 year old wearing a padded bikini top? My first thought was picturing what a conversation would be like with my Mom if I were to ask for a padded bikini top. Seeing that I had to wait until the 6th grade to get my ears pierced, I'm pretty sure the answer would have been No. I've seen the pictures of my sister and I in our bathing suits. Sure a little padding at the top would have helped things out, but we were kids. Isn't that one phase of life where you can run around and not worry about being sexy? As you can see below, my top was very baggy. Padding would have solved that problem, but who was looking at me anyway?

My second thought was wondering what I would say to my 7 year old daughter if she asked for a padded bikini top. Grant it I don't have to worry about that, but if put in that situation how would I respond? Is it ok for a young girl to wear padding in her bikini? Though I don't think there would be a direct correlation between future promiscuity or prostitution or even losing their virginity at a younger age, I do think we are sending a big message in a little package.

Everyone knows why women pad their bras. We learn at young age that having large boobs is what is considered attractive and the ideal. I remember when I was going through puberty and wondering, "when is it gonna happen to me?" (Good thing I started focusing on something else or I would still be sitting in Cayuga, NY waiting.) It didn't happen for me and I didn't have a padded bikini top to help me through it either. I remember being teased in high school for being as "flat as a board". Sure it hurt my feelings because I wasn't like the other girls in my class who had boobs, but I realized something. I didn't want them because I wanted them , I wanted them because I thought it was going to give me something in return, be it acceptance, attention or a boyfriend. When it came down to it I was content with the shape I was given. I think that's a lesson all young girls need to realize. There is no right or wrong shape; we're all different and that is not only normal, but beautiful.

My answer to my daughter would definitely be No. But to make her feel better I would then remind her that if she ends up looking like me there will be plenty of opportunities in the future for padding. Lots and lots of opportunities.

My last thought was about how different it was growing up in the 70's. Life seemed a lot simpler. I didn't have a cell phone, a Facebook page or an email address. Everyone I needed to get in touch with was within walking or biking distance. I didn't text. I rode my bike. Wardrobe decisions were not decisions, but yes or no answers. Clothes were colorful and comfortable not attention getting. I watched shows like Three's Company, The Brady Bunch and on Fridays I watched the Dukes of Hazzard with my brother Rich. There was no Jersey Shore or Bravo or America's Next Top Model.

I read in a greeting card at a friend's wedding shower over the weekend that the average bride makes 175 decisions. How many does the average parent make over the lifetime of a child? I don't know how parents keep up with all of it. So many decisions, so many things to worry about...at what age should we let them have a Facebook page...a cell phone...a laptop...and now... when are they allowed to wear a padded bikini top?

Where does it end and most importantly, what's next? Parents of today I applaud you. You have the biggest responsibility in the world and there's no manual or crash course to teach you. I smile when thinking about the decisions my Mom had to make when dressing me for school: "What color animal barrettes are you going to put in my hair?" I'm happy to know she was spared having to contemplate to pad or not to pad.

Child of the 70's:

Child of today:

"Life isn't about learning to climb the hill in front of us, it's about learning to navigate the entire mountain range" -Mw

Fist Pumping Outside of Jersey: No Tan or Bump It Required

2011-03-20T18:36:00.000-07:00

A collection of rants and raves that finally traveled from paper to laptop....

I'm inspired to write by the experiences I have and the people I encounter. Sometimes I wish my brain was attached to a keyboard that would automatically write, edit, (ok I don't ever edit), and post the stories that run through my head on a daily basis. Sadly, most of them never make it to my blog but I'm trying to be better at posting. The collection of items below were recently discovered as I went through the pages of my notebook and saw some words I scribbled down last December when on the bus. (Note: I don't like taking the bus.) The ironic part is that yesterday I found myself on the bus again, remembered the notes I wrote down and simultaneously overheard additional material for another post. (Interesting how things like that work out, maybe I need to ride the bus more often?)

This is my version of a "thumbs up" or "thumbs down". But to make it a little more hip, I'm going to call it "Fist Pumps", (the stuff I give kudos to), and "Eye Rolls", (the stuff that literally makes me roll my eyes or squint in disbelief).

Fist Pump!
The Spin Pin. I own every type of hair accessory out there, seriously. (Have you seen the rat's nest of hair I have?) If I see a commercial where a girl uses a product that makes her hair look shiny, controlled or pulled back in an elegant manner, I'm all over it. I have a drawer in my bathroom dedicated to the gadgets I've tried: headbands of every material, clips of every size, combs, barrettes, elastics, ornamentation for buns, ponytails, braids, you name it. I still have a banana clip in the drawer somewhere. I saw a commercial for the Spin Pin. What's this? A corkscrew like device that will allow me to whip my hair back in an elegant twist? Well, it sure looks elegant so I need to have it! Off to CVS I went with bonus card in hand to obtain the newest solution to my quest for awesome hair. 20 minutes later I was back in my bathroom and trying it out. Guess what? That thing works! I love it! One twist and careful insertion into my poof of hair and I have instant updo! Bravo Spin Pin! You will stay near the front of the drawer from now on!

Eye Roll!
Holiday Commercials from Kay Jewelers and Folgers.
Every year like clockwork these novelties come out and I despise them both. Let's get something straight, the old Folgers commercial where the son comes home in time for Christmas is good, but this newest spin-off where the girl answers the door and says, "Sister!" is horrendous. I don't know anyone who is that "googley-eyed" over their brother. As for the Kay's commercials, I don't even know where to begin. Grown women getting scared over thunderstorms? Now if it was a spider I would understand, but a thunderstorm? And you're going to turn and hide in his arms?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltA50HKyM14

This one is much better and had me laughing my head off:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SK5LXnjPf_Y&feature=related

Fist Pump!
Amazing teachers. In 2009 I wrote a blog that compared surviving another year to "everyone making it on the bus" when you were a child going on a school field trip. When taking the bus one day last December I had a moment of deja vu as I watched two adults and 8 kids get on the bus. It was a young woman and a young man, 4 little girls and 4 little boys. They all piled on in one big moving cloud of down jackets, snow boots and mittens. I could hear the adults giving instructions on how to navigate the bus, to get on quickly, to sit not stand and to be polite. All of the kids said hello to the bus driver which made him very happy. The adults directed the kids to their seats and then spread out on either end of the bunch. The children sat there with curious eyes and long stares out the windows. Not one of them yelled, moved or picked on the child next to them. They were the most well behaved kids I had ever seen on any form of public transportation. After a few stops, I leaned forward and asked the woman, "Are these all of your kids?" She laughed and said no that she was their pre-school teacher. I told her how impressed I was with the children's behavior and that I give her a lot of credit for being a teacher. She looked at me with a big smile and said, "Thank you very much, it means a lot to hear that from a total stranger."

I give a fist pump to all of the teachers out there. They have one of the hardest and most thankless jobs in the world. I've had a lot of wonderful teachers in my life. Each of them taught me something that helped me to develop into the person I am today.

Eye Roll!
Pre-Occupied Parents. Here's a thought: If you're walking over a bridge and you're in the middle and your child who just learned to walk is at the end of the bridge, and that bridge just happens to be on CT Ave, one of DC's busiest roads, and your child is standing precariously close to the guard rail as traffic goes whizzing by.....YOU MIGHT JUST BE WALKING TOO FAR BEHIND YOUR CHILD. Put down the cell phone Mommy, stop texting and focus on your child b/c they're about to get run over.
I have no patience for parents who are not focused on their kids when out in public. Who do you think is going to watch them for you? The lion statues at the end of the bridge?

Fist Pump!
Dancing with the Stars. If you didn't know, it's my all time favorite show. I LOVE it! Like any reality show it's addicting. They have a cast with plenty of eye candy and three saucy judges that keep you on the edge of your seat when they critique. It's the best part of Mondays and Tuesdays and it starts up again TOMORROW. Why do I like this show? For one simple reason, it makes me happy and I smile from ear to ear when I watch it. Dancing is a beautiful art form and I admire anyone who possesses this skill. Watching the professionals dance is incredible and watching the amateurs improve over the course of the season is amazing.

Eye Roll!
Naked Lady Parts in the Steam Room. I know it's a steam room and nudity is expected. But when there is just two people in the steam room and you decide to take your towel off, lay down and spread your legs, please don't face me and spread your legs. A few weeks ago while in the steam room I had this happen to me. A woman walks in, goes to the other end of the room, takes off her towel and lays down. I had my eyes closed and didn't know what she was doing. The only reason I opened my eyes was because she started chanting, "ohms". I looked up to see who the hell was chanting in the steam room. Instead of seeing a face I saw a vajayjay b/c she was laying with her knees up and her legs spread. I know some people are comfortable being naked in front of other people, I'm just not comfortable with the close-ups.

Fist Pump!
Girlfriends who inspire me. There are too many people to name here individually but they know who they are and how important they are to me. They are sisters, nieces, girlfriends, moms, business owners, volunteers, problem solvers, artists, writers, athletes, foodies, running buddies, babysitters, dog lovers, entrepreneurs and self-starters. Inspiration comes in all forms. When you feel inspired you feel like you can conquer the world. It's a feeling like no other. I'm constantly finding inspiration from the people that surround me, the ideas they share and the goals they accomplish. If you are the company you keep, then I'm pretty cool company. Thank you to all of my family and friends who motivate, support and inspire me. The impact you have on my life is valuable and the time I get to spend with you is cherished.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WM7-PYtXtJM

"Life isn't about climbing the hill in front of us, it's about learning to navigate the entire mountain range."
-Mw

Why was the girl in the relationship smiling?

2010-12-02T23:11:00.000-08:00

Because she knew she could finally close her eHarmony account.

Relationships are hard, but dating is even harder, especially in a city like DC. Sometimes I think the initials stand for Douche Central. Since I wasn’t meeting anyone at the places I frequent most often, (i.e. design industry events, the treadmill at WSC and my sofa), I decided that I needed to start up this on-line dating thing again. I tried it out a few years ago and seeing that I’m still single you know that it proved unsuccessful. I realized that I must be a masochist to voluntarily put myself through such psychological torment over and over again. Do you want to know the one positive about being on any type of dating site? You have great stories for your friends, especially the married ones. My single friend described it perfectly the other night when out for drinks with a mutual friend. She walked into the bar and said she had a dating story for us, my friend said, “Oh, I love dating stories!” My single friend replied, “of course you do, you’re married!”

The problem with on-line dating is that we expect to feel the instant click that you get from meeting someone in person just by glancing over his or her profile. I know that’s not what the idea is behind it, but in a society that promotes instant gratification, if we don’t see something we like, we just keep looking. Trust me, I’m guilty of this as much as the next guy or girl. If I see something whacky I hit, “Archive Match”, at least that’s the eHarmony, (eH), approach. Ok, I’m lying. When I see, (and believe me it’s often), something strange on eH, I usually sit there with my mouth open and say to myself, “Are you serious?” I wish there was a way I could go through my matches live via a webcast because I guarantee everyone watching it would have a new appreciation for the partner in their life.

One of my biggest complaints on eH is with the photos. Guys need some help when it comes to finding the right shots. To support this point I’ve compiled my top ten pet peeves for photos, and yes, these are all based on real experiences:

1. How old is this picture exactly?
If the photo is grainy or you don’t have any wrinkles in it or suddenly you have a full head of hair, it may be a touch too old for putting on your profile. If the year portion on the date stamp starts with a “19-something” I’m thinking that you need to take some self portraits or find a guy on the metro and ask them to take a photo of you.
2. So you like to scuba dive?
I’m not sure what happens to guys in their early 30’s but something clicks inside of them and they all want to be a scuba diver. Maybe it’s the female equivalent of wanting to be a mom? Suddenly there is an urge, a burning desire to put on a wetsuit, learn to breathe through your mouth and take lots and lot of underwater photos. The best photos are taken about 20 feet away in very murky water surrounded by lots of friends. (Read Sarcasm) I like to run, but there’s no way in hell I’m posting a picture of me sucking wind as I cross the finish line of a race, not to mention how I look in my running clothes. You Mr. Scuba Diver, are wet, wearing tight fitting clothing that makes you look like Ken Barbie below the waste, and, the best part: YOU’RE WEARING A SCUBA MASK!!!! Maybe we should just stick to the written description and say, “I enjoy scuba diving.” I trust you. The same applies for the tool that showed me a photo of his kayak, without him in it. It was just sitting there on the dock. For all I know this kayak was at some random state park and he took a picture of it. That’s like me taking a photo of my sneakers so you know I like to run.
3. Ok, so which row are you in?
Here’s a good rule of thumb, if you have to give me instructions on where to find you in the photo, (i.e. Third row back, 14th from left), there may be too many people in the shot. And yes, this applies to the all too famous, white water rafting group photo. Don’t even bother telling me where you’re sitting in that damn raft; with those bright orange helmets on you all look alike!
4. Wait a minute, I just paid $40 and now I need to “request your photo?”
Just put a freakin’ photo up already, you don’t have to have 20, but at least have two or three. Don’t make me have to do another request to get the completed profile, that’s just being a tease. That’s like you asking for my number and me giving you everything but the last 4 digits and saying, email me for them. And for the record, every guy that does this is a big freaking DAWG. You made me wait for this? It’s like waiting for Michael Myers to take his mask off; you know it’s not going to be pretty.
5. Great, so you’ve been to Egypt.
Everyone LOVES to travel. That’s wonderful, so do I. But, I’m not going to post random photos of The Pyramids or say the Tower of Pisa or the Arc de Triomphe that do not include me in the photo, and then put them on my profile. If I wanted to see what the Pantheon looked like, I could Google it, for free.
6. So, I see you’ve got a cat.
And apparently he loves to watch the sunset from the penthouse apartment you used to have when you lived in Chicago 5 years ago. Why are you wasting my time by posting the most boring photo EVER on eH? I’ll be honest, not a cat person, the fact that your cat, (I don’t even know if this cat made the move from Chicago or not?), is watching the sunset from your fancy apartment that overlooks Michigan Avenue is just plain ridiculous. Show me something I want to see, like a picture of you!
7. Costumes/Wigs/Winter Ski Jackets w/Goggles & Motorcycle Helmets?
Halloween comes once a year. Unless you dress up on a weekly basis there is no need for me to see what you look like with a wig on. I would never post the photos of me in my Mrs. Brady wig. Those are funny at least. The skiing pictures should really be taken after the last run of the day when your jacket, goggles, hat and facemask have been removed. As for the motorcycle shots, can I get one where you’re not in motion and creating a big huge blur with a helmet on top?
8. Is that really another thumbs up?
If you’re going to post three photos, two of them shouldn’t be of you giving the thumbs up with both hands. Do you really do that pose frequently? You shouldn’t.
9. Are you expecting me to wear the pants?
I get it that you’re trying to show me your softer side, but the photo of you smelling the tulip, close up, with your eyes closed, isn’t what I’m looking for at this stage in my life. I’m terrified of spiders so you need to be somewhat manly.
10. And the best for last…..Bathroom shots are not funny, period.
According to one of my matches, he was being “crazy”, I call it being disgusting. He sent me the front of his holiday card from last year. It was three photos of him and his bathroom routine: one in the tub, one shaving in the mirror, and, yes, you know what I’m going to say, one on the TOILET, boxers to the floor and all. I don’t want to see anyone going to the bathroom, let alone some random stranger that I have never met. More tulip photos please!

And that’s just with the photos. There is also the plethora of material that comes across in written communication and then who knows what will happen when you actually meet face to face. One of the dates I recently went on didn’t want to put his Express down until I was completed situated at the bar, coat off, drink ordered before he began the conversation. Another date was so engrossed with his phone and texting that I tried to make light of it and said…

“Hey, we have the same phone”
eH Douche while texting: “Oh, really? And what would that be?”

I just squinted and tilted my head until he put his “Droid” down and realized how much of an idiot he sounded like by asking me that question. This was the same guy that informed me he’d been living in DC for over 18 months and had never stepped foot into a museum. I asked if he had been to the monuments at least and he said he had seen the Washington Monument. I told him there were a “few others” down there, too. (How can you have lived in DC and never stepped foot into a museum? Museums are what we do best.) It was shortly after that response that I blurted out, “well it’s been nice chatting with you but I really have to get to abs class.” I wanted to add, “Oh, and by the way, if you’re 5 foot 10, then I’m 6 foot 2!” I’m wearing flats and just shy of 5 foot 7, if you’re 5 foot 10, then using “new math”, I should be looking UP to you, not DOWN! You false advertised your “product” pal. The bill of goods you're trying to deliver is not being accepted at this address; please return to sender.

As I said, dating is challenging and it takes a thick skin, plus lots of patience. I realize there are going to be some “boring questions” that we have to work through, (yes, someone told me I was asking boring questions), but that’s how we learn about each other and establish common ground. But even after you establish that common ground, sometimes there’s just nothing left that is intriguing. That’s not to say the person isn’t nice or good looking or smart, there just isn’t a “spark”. When I’m chatting with someone on a date, at some point during the conversation I ask myself one of two questions. If the date is going well, I ask myself, “I wonder what it would be like to kiss this guy?”

If the date is going poorly I ask myself, “I wonder if my friends are still going to be out after this wraps up?”

And that's my social research in a nutshell. I’m sure there will be more stories in the future. Until then I’ll keep looking for Mr. Right Now and you can keep laughing.

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
-Fran Lebowitz

I used to think those people who sat alone at Starbucks writing on their laptops were pretentious posers. Now I know: They are people who have recently moved in with someone.
-Carrie Bradshaw, Sex in the City

Whenever I want a really nice meal, I start dating again.
-Susan Healy

Never date a woman whose father calls her ‘Princess.’ Chances are she believes it.
-Anonymous

You see, this evening has been a series of bad choices combined with big expectations on my part and very poor manners paired with an enormous ego on your part. If I look at each element of disappointment individually none of them serve as deal breakers so to speak, but I’m forced to make a decision based on all evidence that has been presented which leads me to the conclusion that you and I should definitely…definitely not go on another date.
-M. Wilson

Like Fingerprints On Glass, We All Leave A Mark Behind

2010-11-07T18:54:00.000-08:00

Will you laugh with me for a season?
Stand by me for a reason?
Or walk with me for a lifetime?

People come in and out of our lives. Some people are just brief acquaintances, some people are stuck with us because they're family and some people are there for the whole ride no matter what happens to us. I like the above quote because it speaks to how relationships can be both transient and permanent, and every one is a blessing.

A week ago I got a phone call at work from my sister Gaby. I knew something was up as soon as I heard her say, "Hi Marianne". (My sister always calls me "Mar", kind of like how I always call her "Gab".) She quickly informed me that our 4-year-old niece Sophia had passed away. My eyes filled with tears and my chest became so tight that I thought I was going to pass out right there in my cube. Over my shoulder I could hear two co-workers discussing a set of drawings and revisions and on the other side of my workstation wall I could hear a project manager getting angry with someone on the phone. And there I was sitting in the middle of both trivial conversations getting news that a life had just ended.

The next few hours were filled with phone calls to family members. A plan was put together to get home and on Saturday I headed north to NY. Along the way I had lots of time to think. My thoughts kept going to Sophia and to my sister Bobbe. Sophia was Bobbe's second daughter and 8th child, her youngest. I knew how sad I felt and I was only Sophia's aunt, I couldn't imagine how my sister must have felt though. Having no children I haven't experienced that type of love. Everyone I know that has kids says the same thing, "you'll never love anything the way you love your children". I believe it without a doubt even though I can't feel it.

I'll never forget the look on my sister's face when I saw her for the first time. It was such a look of emptiness and sadness. I hugged her. I hugged her and told her how sorry I was. We sat and chatted. I let her do most of the talking and I did the one thing I knew I could do, I listened. I listened to her tell stories about Sophia, her routine with her, what she liked to do, where she liked to sit and how she spent her days.

You see my niece Sophia wasn't like most 4 year olds. In fact throughout her whole life and even after she passed into the next one, she remained a medical mystery. Sophia could not see, hear, walk or talk. She was never formally diagnosed with any known disease. She had been evaluated by numerous doctors and specialists and had undergone genetic testing but nothing was ever concluded as to why Sophia wouldn't grow.

It's hard not to question things after an experience like this. Often after something traumatic we find ourselves asking God, "why me?" Though I never heard my sister specifically say this, I'm sure she was asking questions and wanting answers. That's what any parent would do in that situation. I found myself wishing I had an answer for her and her husband. I wish I had the magic words to say that would make them feel better; but I didn't.

When I got back to DC I met up with my girlfriend Marie for drinks. I told her about Sophia. She patiently listened to me tell her story. She then told me a story about a family member and her own personal tragedy that she experienced. At the end she said something very profound to me. She explained that maybe Sophia had done what she needed to do on Earth and her work here was done, like that of an angel. God needed her back and it was time for her to move on and help someone else. That message resonated with me on many levels and made me think of the quote at the beginning.

My sister always referred to Sophia as an angel. Her middle name was Faith and I think that's why she came into all of our lives. I wasn't around her on a daily or even monthly basis but I'm sure my other nieces and nephews as well as my sister and brother-in-law probably gained so many things from living with her. Maybe now they're still discovering all of the gifts she brought them in return for all of the love of they gave to her.

When I think of Sophia I smile. I know she is in a better place and she isn't suffering. I think she is doing all of the things that she wasn't able to do here. I can see her running, laughing and skipping. I think she's happy and healthy. I think this because I have faith.

Though her time with us was short, Sophia's fingerprints left a mark on all of our hearts that will never fade. She was only here for a season but her spirit will stay with us for a lifetime.

Sending stars and smiles to Sophia from her aunt in DC.

Tiny Angels

Tiny Angels rest your wings
Sit with me for a while.
How I long to hold your hand,
And see your tender smile.
Tiny Angel, look at me,
I want this image clear....
That I will forget your precious face
Is my biggest fear.
Tiny Angel can you tell me,
Why you have gone away?
You weren't here for very long....
Why is it, you couldn't stay?
Tiny Angel shook his head,
"These things I do not know....
But I do know that you love me,
And that I love you so".

-Author Unknown

The Cord

We are connected,
My child and I, by
An invisible cord
Not seen by the eye.

It's not like the cord
That connects us 'til birth
This cord can't been seen
By any on Earth.

This cord does its work
Right from the start.
It binds us together
Attached to my heart.

I know that it's there
Though no one can see
The invisible cord
From my child to me.

The strength of this cord
Is hard to describe.
It can't be destroyed
It can't be denied.

It's stronger than any cord
Man could create
It withstands the test
Can hold any weight.

And though you are gone,
Though you're not here with me,
The cord is still there
But no one can see.

It pulls at my heart
I am bruised...I am sore,
But this cord is my lifeline
As never before.

I am thankful that God
Connects us this way
A mother and child
Death can't take it away!

-Author Unknown

"Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come."
--Rabindranath Tagore

Zero to Sixty in 60

2010-10-17T18:57:00.000-07:00

A day like today doesn't come around often. Sunshine and Seventy-Two degrees on a Sunday afternoon in October. This meant taking advantage of the day with an afternoon run. iPod on shuffle and laces tied I headed out on my usual route through Rock Creek. As I quieted my mind to focus on the week ahead I found myself bouncing from emotion to emotion with every few yards I stepped. I'm sure this is what happens to a lot of people when they walk, run or bike. You get distracted by the people you see or the scenery that you pass. Today was exceptionally distracting. For a run that was only 59 minutes, I felt that I had moments of happiness, anger and everything in between...

A moment of light: The idea to go out on a run and take in some fresh air and sunshine.

A moment of curiosity: I found myself in back of this girl who was going a similar pace as me but about 25 yards ahead. She turned right and I had no idea where she was heading, I was going straight. But then 5 minutes later, she's right back in front of me again. How she'd do that and will she show me her shortcut?

A moment of awe: Running towards the zoo I pass by the cutest King Charles Spaniel. I swear to you this dog was smiling ear to ear. It greeted me with such a happy face that I returned the smile and told the owner, "cute dog!"

A moment of ow!: I stepped on a huge rock that was laying on the path. That mother hurt!

A moment of beauty: The sun was shining, the wind was blowing, the orange and yellow leaves were falling and for a few sacred seconds I was all by myself. I celebrated the silence and turned my music off.

A moment of rage: Rude bikers drive me crazy! They are a dime a dozen in Rock Creek. Out of nowhere a bike riding dbag suddenly appeared. He heads straight towards me at a Tour de France speed as he passed another runner on the left. I had to move off the path or get a face full of dbag sweat and rubber. I was beyond pissed. Had he not been going so fast I would have tracked him down and made his face a potpourri of autumn leaves, dirt and asphalt. Clearly this guy was confusing the two big wheels in between his legs for a real set that should have been in his bike shorts. If there wasn't children around I would've yelled, "Why don't you pick up a set of balls the next time you're at the bike shop, douche!"

A moment of nostalgia: Music is powerful because in one second it can change your mind and your mood. Thankfully the next song that came on my iPod was The Cure's, "Just like Heaven" and I forgot about the close call with the dbag. Happy again.

A moment of vom: Someone dropped a dog pick up bag while on their walk. The funny part is that it was clearly run over by a bike, (I'm hoping the dbag one that ran me off the road). The gross part is the path of filth and stench it left behind. Luckily I dodged it in time.

A moment of deja vu: I realize parents have a challenge when teaching their children to ride a bike without training wheels for assistance. But something tells me that the uneven, narrow, rocky pathways in Rock Creek are not the most optimal places for instruction. Before I knew it there was a little boy heading straight towards me as he precariously tilted from side to side on his bike. I graciously moved over to give him the room he needed. Then started looking for the target that must have been placed on my running shirt.

A moment of vom part deux: Young couple in love holding hands. As I approach them from behind they stop short and kiss right in front of me. I know holding hands is cute, but his constant grabbing her ass was not.

A moment of escaping death: I realize chipmunks and squirrels are not the most intelligent of animals but their decision making skills are seriously impaired. Maybe it's the nuts they eat in the Creek? I see a chipmunk. The chipmunk sees me, I swear it saw me. It moves to the right. I keep running full speed ahead. The chipmunk decides he needs to get that one last acorn sitting in the middle of the path and darts out in front of me at the last second. I yelled, "Oh No!", as I felt the sole of my Mizuno skim his little chipmunk head. If he didn't suffer from cardiac arrest after seeing my shoe moving like a missile towards him then he certainly is suffering from a major headache right now.

A moment of digging down deep: At the end of every run I climb up a big hill on Tilden. My goal is to get up the hill without having to stop. Today was going to be tough I could tell.

A moment of inspiration: I think everyone needs a song they can listen to when they really need to push themselves physically. I have many songs that inspire me but today I played Michael Jackson's, "Man in the Mirror". I love that song! It kept me moving and thinking of other things besides the big hill I was climbing. I especially love the choir part. If you ever find yourself having to "climb a hill" this is the perfect song to play. I guarantee you will get to the top.

A moment of appreciation: As I got to the top of Tilden and Connecticut I took a minute to reflect on my accomplishment. I believe in celebrating the small successes in life as well as the big ones. It sounds relatively minor, especially considering the number of people who were running marathons this weekend. Still it felt good to get to the top and see that I completed my run in under 60 minutes. I appreciate the moments of rage as well as the moments of happiness that a run brings to my life. I think about how a year ago I probably wouldn't have been able to get up that hill due to my back surgery. Over a year has gone by and I'm slowly chipping away at getting back to the runner I used to be.

Until then, I'm going to celebrate the minor obstacles I conquer. I'm also going to count my blessings for being able to continue doing something that I truly enjoy. We have no idea where this path in life is going to take us but it's important to appreciate the cute dogs, the love birds, the falling leaves, a sunny day and a sweaty run while we can. I hope everyone who is reading this blog did just that today and has their own moments to remember and appreciate as well.

What Makes Someone Unforgettable?

2010-09-12T14:33:00.000-07:00

The background story:

Abs class. It all started with Abs Class. A 30-minute routine that I had taken to starting this past July. It became part of my schedule each week and with the exception of a few work trips to Boston, I never missed a class. I noticed that it not only strengthened my core but it was also assisting in the efforts behind Operation: Muffin Top Removal.

The first class was memorable. I was the only person who was a newbie. When the instructor walked in I thought, "well, this will definitely help me get my butt to class." He was cute; tall, dark and ethnic. I heard his name once and I remembered it. The class was hard and at the end of it he came up to me and said, "you've been to my class before, right?" I told him that it was my first class but I plan to come back. (I thought it would be pretty obvious that I was the new person as my arms were visibly shaking as I struggled to stay up for the last plank pose. I refuse to quit during any type of group class and it's not because I'm strong, it's because I'm stubborn as hell.) And so my relationship with abs class began.

I would occasionally see the instructor when I worked out on lunch. We would exchange hellos and that was it. Cute guys and lugging heavy things have the same effect on me. Both make me laugh uncontrollably. Hence why I never flirt and I never help friends move. The results have been disastrous and is why I'm single and have friend's with broken knick-knacks.

Flash forward story:

Thursday lunch workout. I had been to abs class on Tuesday night. I had a quick exchange with the instructor at the end of class. I was doing the final set of crunches and suddenly his face appeared hovering over mine. He asked, "Are you staying for kick boxing?" I told him no, I was hitting the treadmill next. He smiled, grabbed the weights that were next to my mat and put them away for me.

I walk in two days later to do a quick workout on lunch. He's at the front desk and says hi to me. Then he follows it with, "I haven't seen you at class in a while?"

Mw: Huh?
Abs Man: You haven't been to class lately.
Mw: I was there last week and just this past Tuesday night, too.
Abs Man: You were?
Mw: Yes, we chatted at the end of class. (Wanting to say: Don't you remember our conversation? You asked if I was staying for kick boxing, I said no, you put my weights away. You were wearing black shorts and a red t-shirt and I had on black shorts and a red tank top, we matched for Pete's sake!)
Abs Man: Huh, that's odd, I totally don't remember seeing you.
Mw: Well I was actually going to tell you after class that you need to make the class harder. I think you were too easy on us this past Tuesday.
Abs Man: Really?
Mw: Yes, I kid you not.
Abs Man: Well, I will definitely work on some new exercises.
Mw: Great! See ya then!

And with that I walked into the locker room. As I ran on the treadmill I was perplexed. I thought I was making some headway here with this guy but in reality I was just another face in the class. I can't blame him though. There's been plenty of people whose names I have forgotten. Conversations and encounters can be very fleeting to one person but seem very personal to another.

There is a reason why we remember some people's names and forget another's as soon as they walk away. What is it about someone that makes them memorable? Is it their appearance? Their eyes, smile, voice? Why do we quickly remember one person but forget their friend next to them? I don't think it can be attributed to a good memory and I'm sure there are different reasons for both men and women. Does it all come down to looks? A great conversation or a good laugh? I'm definitely guilty of forgetting both guys and girls names. There have also been numerous times that I've had to remind people of my name after a third or fourth introduction. Sometimes it doesn't bother me, sometimes, like in the case of the Abs Man, it does.

There are some people who automatically stand out in a crowd, no matter what they do and there are others who, no matter what they do, will always blend in with the crowd. There's a role for everyone, you just need to decide which part you want to play.

The Beach Hasn't Evolved....and That's Why We Go There

2010-08-01T19:00:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I had a very fortunate opportunity. No, I did not go to Chelsea Clinton's wedding. I did something better, I went to the beach. When you live in DC going to the beach is a daunting task. It's not a quick trip down the road or an hour drive away, it's a 3 hour trip...if you're lucky. This time around I was not so lucky with the travel time and averaged about a 5 hour trip there and a 4.50 hour trip on the way back.

But it's worth it.

After a crazy week of working until 11 o'clock four nights in a row it was time to break the routine and escape for a weekend. With sunny skies overhead, a full tank of gas and our beach chairs in the trunk, my girlfriend and I headed to Dewey Beach, DE.

Saturday afternoon was our day in the sun. We set up shop around 12 pm and the plan was to not move until the lifeguards left for the day, (around 5 pm). In between my magazine reading and napping I did one of my most favorite activities, people watching. My eyes danced between groups of families, teenagers, couples and those who were just hanging solo. The beach really is a slice of Americana. If someone from another country visited any beach in the US they would experience all ends of the spectrum when it comes to understanding American people. This is why I love the beach. You will always find the following people on a beach:

1. The perfect family: Mom, Dad, little boy and little girl. All of them dressed very well.
2. The teenage mob: Teens too young to drive but old enough to start trouble and be annoying.
3. The insane family, (usually seated within close proximity to me): Loud, lots of equipment and require a 20' radius to hold all of their stuff. Lots of kids running around, usually a set of grandparents in tow that can't really help watch the kids and just sit in their beach chairs, followed by a very loud mom who usually has a questionable accent which leads to a game of, "what city do you think they're from?"
4. The young couple in love: Gag!
5. The old couple in love: Cute!
6. The odd couple: Woman who refuses to take her shirt and shorts off when going in the water paired with a man who wears way too small swimming trunks and is in need of a back wax. The guy on the beach yesterday looked like he was wearing a vest...backwards.
7. The group of party girls: young, quiet b/c they're hungover, usually have a towel over their heads and a cooler with lots of water.
8. The two guys who are watching the group of party girls above.
9. The super loud, foul mouthed, cigarette smoking, crotch grabbing, white trash group of 20-somethings that of course have to sit right next to me.
10. The two single girls who are taking all of this in: that would be me.

I find the behavior and conversations from these groups of people truly fascinating. In one afternoon I learned so much from all of them just by listening and watching. The white trash group of 20-somethings next to me all live at home. Apparently they do drugs in one of the kids bedrooms when the parents are at home, too. The kid is convinced that his parents have no clue he's doing drugs in his bedroom with his girlfriend, but the girlfriend thinks otherwise. She thinks they are aware of the situation but just pretend to be in the dark.

The group of party girls got a sweet deal on the beach chairs they rented. They ended up getting them all for free b/c one of the girls worked at the chair and umbrella stand a few summers ago. She did it along with running a babysitting enterprise. Yes, she used the phrase enterprise. She would watch like 8 kids at a time and when she was in a pinch she sometime had to ask her friend Erica who didn't like kids and wasn't good at babysitting. But she made enough money in one summer to pay for her tuition for a semester.

The perfect family was just that, perfect. The kids were cute, they didn't talk back and everyone had fun. Maybe it was the margaritas that mom made that kept mom and dad calm and collected the whole day? I know that she made awesome margaritas because she offered me one. I guess I looked thirty? Dad made a kick ass walrus in the sand, too. They looked like they could be on the cover of J.Crew. I liked sitting next to them.

So with all of this craziness that occurs at the beach, why are we drawn to it every summer?

I have the answer to this question: Because it never changes and it never will.

The beach will always be just that, the beach. It will never evolve or become more technologically advanced or sophisticated. You go to the beach once and you've got it figured out. If you hadn't been to the beach in the past 10 years and then decided to go one day you would know exactly what to pack, what to wear and what to expect. That's why we like it, we know what to expect.

With the exception of colors and textiles, very few things have changed for the beach. The beach chair hasn't really changed, nor has the cooler or the beach towel. In fact some of the toys that the J.Crew family was playing with were just like the toys I played with at the beach. A shovel, a pail and one of those starfish molds. Seriously.

I think that's why I like the beach so much. It reminds me of childhood and simpler times. The beach will always be simple. It doesn't matter what your life is like during the week, at some point all of us desire, (and require), some simplicity. A place with no cell phones, laptops or Outlook reminders and the only tweeting you hear is the sound of the lifeguard's whistle telling you it's time to get out of the water.

Summer goes by fast. Enjoy every second of sunshine that falls on your face and return it with a smile.

Keep Your Mitts off my Condiments!

2010-04-20T18:04:00.000-07:00

I knew I wasn't going crazy...nor was I consuming an alarming amount of salad dressing. I just couldn't understand why I was going through a bottle of salad dressing faster at work then I was at my own apartment. I knew I was on the cusp of discovering the culprit. Day after day I would walk into the pantry at work and smell my Italian dressing. Only, I didn't use it that day at lunch....so who was using it?

I know I shouldn't get wrapped up in a $3 bottle of dressing, but when you think about it, what this person was doing, or rather, what my own co-worker was doing, was downright rude. We work together for cryin' out loud! Why would you help yourself to your co-workers belongings just because they are stored in a shared refrigerator? And to continuously do it over and over again is just beyond unacceptable to me.

I quietly came around the corner today and low and behold I caught the guy! (Yes, it was a guy, too.) I startled him, he made a weird face, and then suddenly tossed something into the fridge and bolted. It wasn't until a short while later that I realized why he looked so guilty....he was the Salad Dressing Hoarder!

So, to you, Dressing Hoarder, be fair warned!
I've got my eye on you. I will be watching every move you make when you enter that pantry from this point forward. You who can't even say hello to me in the morning when I say, "Good Morning!", or even bother to exchange a smile when I pass you in the hall. I have done nothing to you but only treated you with the common respect that I would want from my co-workers.

You're cheap to not buy your own.

You're lazy for not walking to the corner of the next block and buying one at CVS.

I don't want any excuses either that you're not from around here b/c look buddy, I live in DC, for all I'm concerned, I'm not from around Clarendon, either. I still figured out the joint and where to get my Starbucks, my Zone Bars and yes, my salad dressing. And claiming ignorance will get you no where fast, too. As instructed on our fridge, I used one of the pre-printed labels and filled it out with my last name and the date. Do not even tell me you don't know who, WILSON, is! I haven't taken my, "Welcome Aboard Marianne Wilson", sign from last October so come up with another excuse.

Until then, keep your chubby, greasy, architect-paws off my dressin' or else I'll have no other choice but to resort to some creative aggression in a culinary outlet.

Just sayin'...