Transracial/Transcultural Adoption Blog

A NewsWeek Article On Race

Mandy W — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 12:37:16 +0000

Someone in my the Yahoo group from my adoption agency, shared this NewsWeek article with us this morning. A good article in my opinon. I have always thought that trying to teach your children to be "color blind" is not a realisitic thing to do. To further put myself our for flaming, I also think that many parents try and teach the color-blind thing as an easy way out for discussing race in the family. For example: Your child comes to you and says, "There is a new boy in our class with... more

Hair, Hair And More About Hair!

Mandy W — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:15:21 +0000

I realize I write a lot about hair. I am the mother of four girls and I have never been a hair person. I didn't like styling my hair in junior high or high school and still have a love-hate relationship with my own hair. Raising four girls, two with straight, thin light brown hair and two with textured, dark and curly hair I have learned a lot in the past few years. More than I ever wanted to know actually. My closet is full of products, accessories and heating appliances.

I also know that hair is sensitive for the transracial family, and have even heard that the "fear" of... more

Careful the Things You Say

Robyn C — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 13:21:10 +0000

Transracial families contain people of multiple colors, right? Right. As such, we will sometimes (or often, depending on where one lives) get questions like "Is he yours?", "Does she look like her father?", or "How did he get such dark skin?"

I've read a great many responses to these questions. They run from the common sense to the hilarious.

In the common sense category: Question:"Is he yours?" Answer: "Yes." A no-brainer.

Question: "Does she look like her father?", Answer: "I suppose so." with the subtext "assuming you mean her... more

Channeling Claire Huxtable

Mandy W — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 02:06:35 +0000

I loved The Cosby Show growing up and my kids enjoy watching it now. I don't think they realize that it is an old show and they are watching re-runs. In the day of the DVR and TIVO, there seems to not be a prime time anymore.

We were watching an episode tonight where Rudy was in trouble for hiding a teacher's note from her parents. We laughed at the funny parts of course. At one point Claire sends her to her room. Hubby stops the TV and says something like,"See how she goes to her room without fussing." Mita then says,"Yeah, but her mom didn't yell... more

Watching People Back Track

Mandy W — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 08:40:46 +0000

I have to admit that I do not enjoy watching people squirm. If someone makes a mistake or doses a faux pas I really feel sorry for them and am embarrassed that they are embarrassed. My Hubby would say I'm a softy, but I think of it as empathy.

I'll give you an example: When watching a basketball game or other game, I am adamant to cheer when the other team does something well. I also try not to "over cheer" for my team. I HATE it when people cheer when the other team does something wrong or misses a basket. I do not want to identify with those people. Needless to say, I'm... more

T-shirts, Dolls and Halloween Costumes

Mandy W — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 01:36:38 +0000

Staying in the common lines of this past weeks post I thought I would talk about some of what we have gone through and continue to go through. I commented on Robyn's post about how I only let Enu wear her beloved Curious George shirt at home and wouldn't let her wear the hand-me-down banana bathing suit. I did feel bad about these things in a way. I cannot help but think that I maybe overthinking things at times. (My Hubby has mentioned that I overthink things a bit.)

I just don't want to expose... more

The Great Monkey Debate

Robyn C — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 13:52:48 +0000

This post may end up being a series of posts, because there's so much to say on the subject. You have been warned!

At least once a year, someone new to my online group for transracial adoption will ask, "Would you ever dress your kid in a shirt with a monkey on it?"

Prior to becoming a parent, I didn't realize that monkeys have been used as a racist symbol for black people. I believe that an article in Adoptive Families magazine clued me in. The usage goes back hundreds of years. It seems that a lot of white people don't know this, if the responses from the... more

Shall I Apologize for Being White?

Robyn C — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 13:13:55 +0000

Apparently, Costco was selling dolls. One was White and came with a stuffed panda bear. The white doll wore a hat that read "Pretty Panda".

Anyone want to take a guess at what the Black doll came with?

Yes, the Black doll came with a monkey and wore a hat that read "Little Monkey".

I'll go into that incident, as well as the monkey dilemma, in another post (one I've been writing in my head for about a week now). What I'm writing about now, is the Anti-Racist... more

Musings About Another Adoption, Transracial Edition

Robyn C — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 13:28:17 +0000

When we adopted Jack, we were open to any race.* Jack is black and white. As soon as we had him, I just assumed that, the next time we adopt, we would specify black and white as a first choice. It just made sense to me.

Since then, there has been a lot of discussion about adopting for the second time when your first child is black. Yes, specifically black, or "mixed with black" as opposed to Asian, Guatemalan, etc. In fact, recently, I've been involved in discussions on several online groups and forums about this very topic. I realized that what was initially a no-brainer... more

Straight Hair

Mandy W — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 14:00:58 +0000

I am so tired of the whole straight hair thing. It is true that we all seem to want what we don't have. I have wavy hair and always wanted straight hair that was low maintenance. My two bio daughters have the hair I always wanted and they want me to curl their hair. Mita and Enu treat straight hair as the top of the beauty spectrum. This is a very touchy issue with many people.

The straightening of black hair is so controversial, I tried to stay out of it. I tend to lean towards all-natural and really didn't have the desire to change the girls' hair. Coming to the US and seeing all the options women have in hair styles, they were obsessed with it. So, I went to my local beautician... more