Trapped in My Human Body

You are a grown ass man, and so am I.

2011-09-15T14:50:00.001-07:00

So a friend of mine called and said his dad found my website, I hope he finds it again.

If you have an issue with the way I live my life that is fine. Everyone in this world is entitled to have an opinion. That being said your opinion is your opinion, but when you decide to start shit talking me, and not even have the balls to say that shit to my face, and have to run and tell your son how I'm sick, twisted, and my life choices are fucked up, instead of being a man and coming and saying that shit to my face, it just shows how much of a little bitch you are. So if you have an issue with me or my life style bring your fucking bitch ass over to my house and say that shit to my face like a man, or continue to run your fucking mouth about me behind my back like the little bitch that you are.

-Yuki

P.S. When your ready to come talk to me like a man, ask your son where I live and come knock on the door I will be waiting but I really doubt you will show.

Livin' in a world so cold, Wasting away

2011-07-20T08:44:00.001-07:00

Okay so let me start this rant of by stating I am a cub. I always have been, and I always will be. I am not going to pretend to be something I am not when it is convenient for you. Accept me for who I am like a friend should, or pack your shit and get down the fucking road. I have never asked anyone to change or be something they are not even the ones I think are odd. So if you can't accept me as the cub I am, the cub I have always been, then you never were my friend in the first place and you probably have been using me like the rest of them.

TL:DR I am pretty much padded all the time, if you don't want me to come over padded. I'll just stay home!

I don't care if this sounds shallow, deal with it.

I will not get tied into a relationship with some one who is morbidly obese, who makes no effort to make them selves healthy and eats nasty unhealthy food every meal. I make a conscious effort every day to better my self. I eat food that is healthy, I work out, I stay active and I take care of my body. Now I am not saying that its not okay to throw down on some fat nasties every once in a while. You all have seen me do it, and in moderation eating a whole pizza and a box of ice cream is okay, but stuffing greasy fried food down your gullet every day and then spending 12 hours behind the computer screen or the Xbox is not. Its your choice. If you choose to be a glutton and an unhealthy person who losses their breath walking to the fridge that is your prerogative, just don't expect to hook up with me because it will not happen. I need a healthy person who is going to partake in the activity's that I enjoy. I want to run in a 5k fund raiser with my "mate" not have him watch it on the news from his lazy boy with a box of Ho Ho's and a 2 liter of mountain dew.

TL:DR If your a lazy bum and you can't take care of your self, how am I supposed to expect you to take care of me when I need it? If your not healthy don't expect to get into my padding.

Hygiene

If you do not shower at a minimum of once a day, your gross. You will never convince me that its okay to go two or three days with out a shower. I spent 5 days straight in the hospital with out a shower. I felt like I was the nastiest thing in the world, and I cleaned my self with baby wipes 2 times a day. Long story short bathing requires the use of soap, hot water, and shampoo as a minimum. After bathing is complete everyone should apply deodorant/anti-antiperspirant to avoid smelling like a disgusting fuck. I sweat, but I don't smell of BO 24/7 either. Tooth brush and tooth paste. ITS A MUST. Okay I dip smokeless tobacco , its a disgusting habit, and drink pots upon pots of coffee at work, but still manage to brush 3 times a day to keep my teeth from turning yellow, falling out and having nasty breath. Haircuts/brushes/combs they are a necessity to operate in today's society. I have a High and Tight hair cut. Not much up there, but I still add a little gel run the comb through it, and make it look presentable. Not saying hair can't be long. I think long hair on guys is sexy if it is styled and does not look like a rats nest. Clothes. I am not saying you have to wear name brands, you don't have to be main stream. I am just saying you should wash that shit. There is nothing more embarrassing then going out with someone in public who's clothes are beyond wrinkled, covered in stains, full of holes(Not the stylish stone washed jeans like I wear, with the wore out knees) but the T shirt that you have had for 10 years that is full of holes and food stains, and falling apart. I am not saying you have to wear Armani, Prada or LV, but if you plan on being scene with me in public don't look like you feel out of the homeless shelter. Laundry Soap and a Washing Machine is a must. If you don't have one, cant afford the laundry mat call me I will let you use mine.

TL:DR Wash your balls/Wash your face/Brush your Teeth/Brush you hair/Wash your clothes

Jobs.

The economy is fucked, there is no doubt about that. That being said I am thankful for the job I have every day. I am so sick and fucking tired of people telling me how easy I have it. I have spent the last 8 years of my career busting my ass to be where I am today. I spend 3 months out of every year in school working on continuing education and balancing that with working 72+ hours a week responding to FIRES, CAR WRECKS, EMS CALLS, HAZMAT SPILLS, AND RESCUES. I put my ass on the line every time I run into a burning building so I think I have far over EARNED the right to be in the job I am in and make the money I do.

Yes, it is possible for you to work. No it may not be your dream job, no it may not be fun and exciting, no you may not make a lot of money. That being said I see advertisements every day in the help wanted adds. I know it sounds terrible to think you might have to flip burgers, fry chicken, do manual labor, lift heavy objects etc etc... One day the world will offer every one cushy jobs, but until then swallow your fucking pride, get off your ass, quit being a mooching bum and do some fucking work. I can tell you for a fact I would work full time at McDonald's flipping burgers, and part time selling oranges on the street corner before I ever asked someone to let me live there for free and to take care of me. MINIMUM WAGE IS BETTER THEN NO WAGE.

Plenty of people work multiple jobs they hate to support them selves and their family's I think you can too. I just requires dropping the xbox controller, and putting forth some effort.

Do not expect me to let you crash at my place unless you have a stable source of income, or are in school to get an education to make a stable source of income.

TL:DR - Get a fucking Job, or Get a fucking education. I will be glad to circle adds in the help wanted section, or help you apply for federal education grant money, its out there.

Rant complete

Please forward all hate mail to the complaint department.

I’m Fine in The Fire

2011-05-15T11:03:00.001-07:00

Just when I think life is getting back to some normalcy all hell starts to break lose and the world begins falling down around me some more. Seems to me I am going to have to buy me a titanium umbrella to keep the shit of the world from crashing down on me.

“ I'm fine in the fire, I feed on the friction. I'm right where I should be, Don't try and fix me. ” – 10 Years

-Yuki

If it sounds like a duck, and quacks like a duck, its probably a worthless back stabbing fur.

2011-04-28T22:30:00.001-07:00

So before I get started with this I need to post my precursor so all of my self loathing friends don't have a freak out. If this post sounds like it pertains to you then it probably does. If you think it pertains to you and it don't but your upset about it an im still not caring, then go fuck your selves and you probobly need psychological help.

Anyway I digress

I've been your friend, I've been your advisor, I've bandaged your boo boo's, taken you to your errands, given you cash when you were broke, bought your cigarettes when you were poor, paid for your beer, bought your ticket to the furcon, went to your stupid play, and ran your personal errands so you could pay your rent and take a trip, got you a job , and took you to your HIV test. It's cool. That's what friends do. You know what else friends do.

Friends are there when family is not, friends are there when you get news you don't want to get alone. I've put up with a lot of shit for friends. Taken burns and broken bones for the boys at work and I don't trust them with half the information I've trusted you guys with.

Yet I still spent 3 days in the hospital by myself and the only reason the people who did say anything even said a word to me was because I said something to them. So here is how it will be.

I will be at RCFM and if your choking on your friends collar or poorly constructed fursuit I will do my job because that's what I volunteered for but please don't call on me any more at home asking me to "look at your knee" or "check out my computer" because I'm just going to tell you to go Fuck off.

Thank you and goodnight

-Yuki Ookamiur

It has been busy

2011-04-10T08:57:00.000-07:00

Sorry it has been so long since I have updated life has been hectic. Love you all.

-Yuki

I am sure if your reading this and you think I am pissed at you. Your probably right.

2011-03-20T20:15:00.001-07:00

I told you that I wanted you to be happy, not that I wanted you to run off and forget that I ever existed. So right now the only thing I am feeling is to tell you to fuck off I am mad!

-Yuki

What I really meant to say, Is I'm sorry for the way I am

2011-03-05T10:21:00.001-08:00

FML I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know what’s up, what’s down. I feel like the whole world has warped around me and is falling apart piece by piece. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I'm going mental. *breaths deep*

Nothing else is really new. My past keeps sneaking into my head and stealing all my thoughts. What the hell am I supposed to do. My emotions are so jacked up right now and I feel like I'm being torn into a hundred pieces. Why does all of this have to be so damn hard, and why can’t I just find some fucking clarity?

“ I never really wanted you to see, the screwed up side of me that I keep. Locked inside of me so deep, It always seems to get to me. I never really wanted you to go, So many things you should have known. I guess for me there's just no hope, I never meant to be so cold ”
-Crossfade

RCFM and Getting Things Off my Chest

2011-03-01T15:39:00.001-08:00

I was able to get a lot of things off my chest yesterday. It was very liberating. It was like I was holding all of these things inside me for so long I felt like I was going to lose my mind. I had been putting it off for months, thinking I was never going to be able to bring it up. Knowing now that it has all been said makes me feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders.

Now for the good. I registered for RCFM yesterday! It’s my first con. I can’t wait to go. Only down side is I don’t really know any one from the area. I hoping I can make some new friends down here as I just joined the NARF group. So far they seem like a good group of people. After being added to the group I received like 13 E-Mails welcoming me to the group. It’s kind of nice to have people there who don’t want to put you down.

*Takes a deep breath*

Its nice living life for the first time in a while.

-Yuki

What you want me to be, and who I am are two very different things!

2011-02-27T14:35:00.001-08:00

So…. Takes in a deep breath. Climbs to the top of his mountain. Clears his throat, and yells to the world. I AM A BABYFUR!
Okay now that, that is out there can we all get on with our lives? Why do people feel the need to look at me like I am some sort of incurable cancer? What have I ever done to you? Who have I ever hurt? No one, and yet the ignorance of world means I must be persecuted in the eyes of the deviants I surround my self with.
That being said I am going to post this link hoping that it will help educate the masses - http://en.wikifur.com/wiki/Babyfur.
Please don’t judge me for what I do. Now that all that is out there answer this for me. How does that hurt you?

-Yuki Ookami

New Changes and More to Come.

2011-02-25T14:34:00.001-08:00

If you have not noticed today brought forth some big changes. The site now has a new URL and E-mail address. There are many more changes to come. Let me know what you would like to see, and let me know what you think.

Web address http://www.yukiookami.com

E-Mail – Blogger@yukiookami.com

It's Not You, It's Me. Ok So It's Really You.

2011-02-25T07:35:00.000-08:00

Want to talk about being blindsided. Holy shit you guys missed the fun and excitement of this weeks episode. Where should I start? Hum. I know.

My significant other dropped a bombshell on me the other day. She told me she wants an open relationship, and that she thinks I should participate.

That's when I slammed on the brakes. I told her that it was something I was not interested in but she keeps continuing to push the issue. She says something along the line of how she really thinks I should. To me it sounds like she wants to have a relationship with some one else while I continue to pay the bills and support her. She just wants me to participate so she can justify it to her self.

Sounds like its time to call an attorney.

Sent from Yuki Ookami's CrackBerry®

A Sickness, and Stray Dogs

2011-02-19T09:26:00.001-08:00

It has been 3 days since I posted anything. It's been a long 3 days being sick and dealing with things. Things of which I choose not to speak. That being said.

You know when your sitting at home and you see a poor little stray puppy dog who is in need of great care. So you take this puppy in out of pity, you give it a bath, brush it clean, feed it, give it water, and give it a warm comfy place to stay.

And for a few days that little puppy brings some joy into your meaningless life, forcing you to smile and laugh in a sad cruel word.

Yet after a while the cute cuddly puppy you felt so sorry for starts pissing in the house, chewing on your shoes and destroying you furniture. Slowly that joy that the puppy brought you changes to frustration, which then turns to anger, which then forces you to pick up the phone to the county animal shelter to pick up the stray and take it away.

Do you think they have a service like this for humans? If so please let me know. I am going to need that number. I have a stray I need taken out of my life.

Sent from Yuki Ookami's CrackBerry®

Tragedies in the World

2011-02-16T16:44:00.001-08:00

Seeing as how I seem to be the one to blame for all the tragedies that happen in this home. I figured I would supply you with a list of other tragedies the world can blame on me.

1.Enron, Fanie May, and Fredie Mac
2.The attacks on Pearl Harbor
3.The persecution of the Jews in WWII
4.The attack on 9/11
5.The assassination of JFK
6 Apollo 1 , the. Shuttle Challenger, and the Shuttle Columbia
7. Hurricane Katrina
8. The war in Iraq and Afghanistan
9. Aids in Africa
10.Columbine and Virginia Tech massacres

How a Toy Started World War III

2011-02-15T21:35:00.000-08:00

All of our lives we spend struggling or working our fingers to the bone for inanimate objects we wish and want for. Some of us work two jobs just so their families can eat. Some of us live in fancy houses with trust funds.

The issue I seem to have today is somewhere I’m stuck in the middle and I still can’t have what I want. No I’m not poor and I am grateful for the job that I have. No I’m not rich and I sure do wish I could have a big fancy house, and expensive cars.

The thing that frustrates me the most is there is only one thing I really want lately, A 25 dollar plush toy like this one. I don’t know why. I mean I think it’s cute, cuddly, and soft. It’s not super expensive to the point I can’t afford it. It’s not like by owning one its going to move me into a new social class. Yet when I look at this little plush something tells me buy this, do it for you. Buy this to replace all the other things in the past that you wanted that you never got.

Maybe it’s a piece of my tattered childhood trying to hold onto something. Maybe it’s the need to have something in my arms. Maybe it’s just gotten to the point where I want something for my own.

Then someone walks into the room, and the fears of World War III start running thru my head.

I guess I’ll put this 25 Dollar plush on the shelf with the rest of my wants that I will never get to fullfil.

EDIT> I need more followers on twitter. Add follow me and ill follow you back www.twitter.com/yukiookamiblog

Just Another Day that We Lie to Each Other

2011-02-15T10:34:00.000-08:00

Honestly, Valentine's Day might have started as a day to celebrate love but nowadays it has become just another day to force people to shop compulsively for things that they don't need or they don’t want to buy in order to express this facade we call love. Most men know that they will be in trouble if they don't buy an expensive present of their women. So, they buy an expensive present, not as an expression of their undying love, but as a way to avoid trouble. Like they are playing Monopoly, and they are buying their “Get out of Jail Free" cards

What a Waste of Money and Emotions

There is No Tolerance, Not Even Among Deviants. Because Tolerance Does Not Exist

2011-02-13T19:21:00.000-08:00

So here is my predicament. I am trapped in a relationship that will cost me dearly if I leave. I do not know if I am in love with this person any more. Everything this person does makes me despise them more and more. I am not happy with this person. When I am around this person I have to retract into my shell to keep me from losing all control of my emotions and breaking down. When I am at home I feel like I’m going to have a nervous breakdown. The emotional pain this person causes me is far worse than any physical pain I have received, and when the emotional abuse is over the physical starts. The only people I have to turn to live inside my computer in a fantasy world call the furry fandom.

Then to make it all worse I go to the one place where I can turn too. The one place where I feel safe, secure, and alive and I get shunned by some of them. I must really be a worthless piece of trash when even the outcast deviants I associate with feel the need to treat me like a second class citizen. The emotional damage I receive at home is enough to deal with. I don't need to emotional traumatized at my safe place too. It sort of felt like being told you were going to die of cancer, then having the doctor kick you in the nuts.

Maybe one day we will have some Tolerance in this world, if not then maybe us deviants can have a little bit of tolerance in our own world.

Top Ten Things I Hate

2011-02-13T09:16:00.000-08:00

10. Women who grow mustaches faster then I do.
9.    BAMA Football Fans
8.    People who talk with their hands
7.    Any one who has ever been mean to me.
6.    I hate when cats stare at me, it’s scary.
5.    Organized Religion
4.    Twilight and Justin Beieber Fans WTF is that all about.
3.    Loud cell phone talkers
2.    The fact that smoking Marijuana is Illegal that is so dumb.
1.    People

Our Lives, Our Destiny, Our Destruction

2011-02-11T20:42:00.001-08:00

Realizations I have made today in this meaningless life I call my own.
1.   The people that I call my friends are nothing more than empty shells I keep around me to satisfy my human need for contact. Even if they use me, treat me like garbage, and abuse me both physically, and mentally

2.   The probability of me having friends that don’t sit 3000 miles away behind an LCD screen and keyboard is pretty much slim to none.

3.   That the simple fact that I am writing in this blog shows how humans think people care about them.   (Why wouldn’t the world want to hear about the problems of a meaningless being that no one knows nor cares about?) Look up if you don’t believe me. I am sure the proof is right in front of your eyes.

4.   That we need and want so much that we spend our lives envisioning all the things that we wish we had. How humans lust for stupid meaningless items better then the things they already have been blessed with, while those around us lust for our garbage.

"Wish I was too dead to care, if indeed I cared at all. Never had a voice to protest,
So you fed me shit to digest. I wish I had a reason; my flaws are open season.
For this, I gave up trying. One good turn deserves my dying." -Stone Sour

This is why we will destroy our selves.

Stupid Humans.

Walkin Hand in Hand

2011-02-11T09:33:00.000-08:00

So I feel really stupid writing this. Then again I feel pretty stupid every day.

A good friend of mine told me that I should start being happy. I should start being “Me”. Unfortunately for me, being happy and being “Me” becomes an issue with work, family, friends, etc...

So this is where I shed my human skin, and become me.

Thanks Hun. For walking with me, and showing me the way!

-Yuki