Trashing Trailers

Burn After Reading (2008 trailer)

2008-06-29T15:32:00.000-07:00

Oh god this looks good. The redband trailer is a must-view.

Brad Pitt playing a personal trainer. George Clooney playing some kind of low-life. Russians.

"I thought you might be worried...about the secuity...of you shit."

The Coen's return from the more somber (but brilliant) No Country For Old Men with a new quirky crime movie. John Malkovitch, Frances McDorman, Tilda Swinton - yeah, this is gonna be good.

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Release: September 12, 2008

Eagle Eye (2008 teaser)

2008-06-29T15:26:00.001-07:00

The "insufficient ATM funds" is used too often in movies. It was just in Wanted and we have it again here. In fact, this movie looks like it could be a lot like Wanted, which was a lot like The Matrix, but less cool.

I expect this to be better than Wanted, but this trailer does nothing for me.

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Release: September 26, 2008

Hellboy 2: The Golden Army (2008 trailer)

2008-06-22T19:29:00.000-07:00

Pan's Labyrinth recast as an action movie? Sold.

The first Hellboy was pretty good, but this one looks so much better. Guillermo Del Toro clearly learned a lot from Pan's Labyrinth and is putting it all in play here. I could watch this trailer over and over just to look at the interesting creatures.

Does the actual Golden Army remind anyone else of another visually stunning movie: The Fifth Element?

As a bonus: No one should have any fear that he'll do an awesome job with The Hobbit films (yes, there are going to be two of them and he is directing).

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Release: July 11, 2008

Righteous Kill (2008 trailer)

2008-06-22T18:52:00.000-07:00

Pacino and DeNiro were so great in Heat, but they were hardly in any scenes together (which of course made the coffee shop scene all the better). In fact, I'd say they are in this trailer more than they were in Heat.

While time has shown that while both Pacino and DeNiro are prone to missteps, the two of them together shouldn't miss. And it doesn't look like they will here.

DeNiro delivers the great "Most people respect the badge. (pause) Everyone respects the gun," line which then rolls right into "Sympathy for the Devil". Nice.

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Release: September 12, 2008

Street Kings - Trailer (2008)

2008-03-21T22:05:00.000-07:00

Okay, I've already seen Training Day, do I really want to see it again just a few years later remade with Keanu Reeves? No.

This is an awful trailer - while far too many give away too much, this is just like a scattering of random clips from the film that mean absolutely nothing. It's kind of like a bad Under Armour commercial.

Might be a little better if Keanu had SOME emotion in his voice.

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Release: April 11, 2008

21 - Trailer (2008)

2008-03-21T21:58:00.000-07:00

The first 3/4th of this thing looks great. It's fun yet real - even when they get to Vegas. Then the last quarter turns Kevin Spacey into Lex Luther again and the main character into the typical in-over-his-head cliche. Still, I'm seeing it.

Wouldn't it have made more sense to open it on March 21st?

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Release: March 28, 2008

Jumper - Trailer (2008)

2007-12-10T14:00:00.000-08:00

Opening Sam Jackson voice-over seems to set this up as Unbreakable 2, but this is much different. Imagine a movie entirely built around the Nightcrawler effects in X-Men 2, but given to a normal kid rather than a blue creature.

What is probably one of the most wanted super powers - teleportation - gets its own film and looks to at least partially handle it smartly by dealing with some of the ethical questions that would come with such a power.

Sam Jackson looks to be a manacing foe and its got a solid director (Doug Liman).

It looks to either be the next Matrix or the next, well Next - can Anakin pull it off?

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Release: February 14, 2007

I Am Legend - Trailer (2007)

2007-12-10T13:52:00.000-08:00

Your standard Will Smith blockbuster. Goes from The Siege to 12 Monkeys to 28 Days Later. The choral music at the beginning seems overplay, until they cut from that to the silence of being alone. Nicely done.

Looks pretty good, there is something always appealing about 'the last man on Earth' story - and then of course zombies.

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Release: December 14, 2007

There Will Be Blood - Trailer (2007)

2007-11-04T03:48:00.000-08:00

From the first second you hear Daniel Day Lewis' voice, that's enough for me. By the time you see that it's Paul Thomas Anderson's new movie, you get the feeling that this could be the must-see movie of the holiday season.

Great shots of oil, the kid from Little Miss Sunshine going crazy, and Daniel Day-Lewis at his most wicked. Sounds like a great score by Radiohead's Jonny Greenwood. There will be good reviews.

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Release: December 26, 2007

Dan in Real Life (2007)

2007-10-25T03:31:00.000-07:00

A wince-inducing voice over, yet another neutered Dane Cook role, and Steve Carrel imitating himself imitating a single father. The bland 40 Year-Old Virgin.

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Release: October 26, 2007

Lions For Lambs (2007)

2007-10-07T22:02:00.000-07:00

Gee, do you think this film has an agenda beyond entertainment? I'm all for statement movies, but this trailer is beyond bland - especially every with three of the biggest movie stars in the world, Redford, Streep, and Cruise (who looks like a meaner John Edwards).

The apocalyptic choral music. Tom Cruise repeats: "Yes or no?". No.

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Release: November 9, 2007

American Gangster (2007)

2007-10-07T21:40:00.000-07:00

Russell Crowe and Denzel Washington team up for the sequel to Virtuosity - okay, not quite. Actually their roles are reversed and this should be about a thousand times better than that film. This looks like another great cop vs. robber film with two of the best actors alive.

Good tone here. Starts off with a bit of narrative to set you up with what is going on, then dives right into some quick shots with a great song.

Perfect ending. Music stops. "This is America." Denzel turns around to look at Crowe. Hang on Crowe for a second. Title card with music back in. This is how it's done.

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Release: November 2, 2007

Southland Tales (2007)

2007-10-07T21:28:00.000-07:00

In the making forever and in the festival circuit maybe even longer, the word pretentious has been used a lot to describe Richard Kelly's first follow-up to Donnie Darko - now I'm starting to see why.

While the trailer is certainly interesting, there is entirely too much going on and it features humor that is less dark(o) than Donnie and more obvious, typical Rock fare ("I'm a pimp").

This looks like Independence Day meets any Paul Thomas Anderson movie - and I'm not sure I would want to see that.

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Release: November 9, 2007

Elizabeth: The Golden Age (2007)

2007-09-30T19:26:00.000-07:00

Aside from Cate Blanchett looking like Gary Oldman in Bram Stoker's Dracula in the beginning this is an intriguing and rousing trailer.

We have here a historical piece yet it looks to be stylized in a more modern way I think can only help the film. It looks less like a period drama and more like a Lord of the Rings film - which is a very good thing - the color, the tone, some of the dialogue ("they will not pass" - "you shall not pass"), and Blanchett herself all make it seem so.

Blanchett's "I have a hurricane in me" speech is great.

This looks epic and great.

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Release: October 12, 2007

Sleuth (2007)

2007-09-30T19:12:00.000-07:00

Wait a second, another remake in which Jude Law takes on an old Michael Caine role? Didn't we already see this with Alfie? Weirder still is that this one happens to co-star Michael Caine in the old Laurence Oliver role. How many old Michael Caine movies have been remade now?

This is a two-man show that seems to have a vibe somewhere between last year's Fracture and A Perfect Murder.

Jude Law is kind of looking like a wet dog with his long mangy hair while Michael Caine just seems like he's playing in Bruce Wayne's house while he's not home.

Everything is very cold, the colors, the digital 'beep' music - the green digital title usage is weird as well.

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Release: October 12, 2007

We Own the Night (2007)

2007-09-29T18:58:00.000-07:00

Nice use of 'Heart of Glass' to open things up. 3 great actors in something in the vein of The Departed but perhaps a bit grittier.

Lots of usage of black and blue colors including the very nice titles. A dramatic trailer, good stuff.

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Release: October 12, 2007

Hitman (2007)

2007-09-23T23:15:00.000-07:00

Timothy Olyphant looks kind of ridiculous bald. If there was ever a movie for Vin Diesel - this is it. I would also have accepted Jason Statham. Still, maybe Olyphant will bring something here beyond your extremely typical action movie - but it doesn't look like it.

This is a fairly standard action film trailer, with a bit of a French touch to it. We have an action montage complete with choir music - classy (not really). We've also got a plot that seems like a cross between Hellboy and Virtuosity. We'll hope for Hellboy, we'll settle for Virtuosity, we'll probably get neither - this is a videogame movie after all. Shouldn't Uwe Boll be directing?

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Release: November 21, 2007

Iron Man (2008)

2007-09-11T01:50:00.000-07:00

Hot damn! This looks like a cross between Batman Begins and Fantastic Four - and I fully expect it to fall somewhere in between those two quality-wise: which is to say good.

Robert Downey Jr. has sure managed to turn around his career and life huh? He looks great here, except his voice, his voice I can find a bit annoying at times.

You get the payoffs you want from such a trailer. The suit, the Black Sabbath song, and a hint of the special effects (which look great).

Still, I think the teaser might have been better without the Black Sabbath song, and without Downey's line "Something big". Subtlety. Images speak louder than words. Still, this is just a teaser, and tease it does.

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Release: May 2, 2008

Feast of Love (2007)

2007-09-10T23:07:00.000-07:00

Morgan Freeman in a romantic comedy? This looks like the American version of Love Actually, but slightly less cute, and slightly more bland.

Awful title. I mean dreadful. Is Hollywood running out of titles? They couldn't come up with anything better than that? Feast of Love sounds like a Thanksgiving porno.

It's cheesy, trying to be edgy with its lesbian twist - but that's very three years ago - and did I mention features Morgan Freeman in a romantic comedy? Bonus points though for the New Pornographers' song used in the end.

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Release: September 28, 2007

The Comebacks (2007)

2007-09-03T03:41:00.000-07:00

Big humor at its absolute worst. Let's take every successful sports movie of the past 5 years, spoof it, then lay it out completely in the trailer hoping a few people were big enough fans of those original films that they'll come see ours. Let's also completely waste David Koechner.

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Release: October 26, 2007

3:10 To Yuma (2007)

2007-09-03T03:16:00.001-07:00

About once every decade a really good Western is made. This looks to be the one for this decade - and it's a remake no less. Why is it that recently non-Americans (Christian Bale, Russell Crowe) play more convincing Americans than Americans do? Is that Peter Fonda? Lets hope he's as good as his dad was in Once Upon A Time in the West around the same age.

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Release: September 7, 2007