For the past couple of months, I’ve poked around my favorite travel sites trying to decide whether to take the family out of town for spring break, or just stay home and get some projects done.  Travel planning these days has gotten more complicated around here.  The kids are now all officially teenagers; ages 16, 15, and 13, and their sports and social lives are constantly throwing a monkey wrench into my plans.

Then there are the dogs.  I love them, but they are big, young, unruly mutts that no one wants to take care of for an entire week.  Hence, we have to find accommodations for them, which usually end up costing more than we spend on a rental for our entire family of five!

I spend all winter cursing Minnesota.  The cold.  The dark.  The snow.  Usually I’ve got a spring break trip planned before the first flake of white stuff even falls from the sky, but this year things just didn’t come together.     Imagine my surprise when a record breaking heat wave decided to blow into town just in time for spring break!

Eighty degrees in March?  Amazing.

My apologies, Minnesota.

The topic of the moment in the travel world is the TSA, and their use of full body scanners and enhanced pat downs for security.  I thought I better get my two cents in…

A couple of years ago, I showed up at the airport and found that I had been deemed a “Quad S”.  I had no idea what a quad S was, but that’s how the customer service agent referred to me when she called security.  When she handed me my  boarding pass, she told me to skip the regular  security line, and report to a special line reserved for people who were Secondary Security Screening Selectees.   I looked down, and there it was, the dreaded SSSS in the corner of my boarding pass.

When I arrived at security, I was searched, and searched again.  My bag was searched, my shoes were sprayed with something, and they used what looked like some kind of tape to check for bomb residue.  I was given the enhanced pat down, which is now the topic of so much scrutiny, and was on my way.  The TSA agents were courteous and efficient, and doing their job.

The next time I arrived at the airport, the same thing happened.

And the time after that, I was inexplicably let through with the SSSS at check in.  I didn’t speak up, though I knew that I should have been directed to the “special” security line.  As it turned out, when I arrived at the gate, I was called to the desk where the gate agent told me that someone would be down to search me at the gate.  There I was, with a gate full of people looking at me while I was wanded and patted down.  Yes, it was the enhanced pat down that they keep talking about, with all the necessary patting included.

At that point, I thought things were getting a little silly, but I never felt violated.

The “Quad S” followed me for over a year, and because I happened to be traveling a lot that year, I got used to it.  I thought about researching how I could get off the most wanted list, but never got around to it.  It eventually dropped off, and I never found out why I was on it in the first place.  Some think buying last minute tickets, or one way tickets can trigger the algorithm, and I do both of those things on occasion.  I have also shown up at the airport without an ID because of a lost purse, so I’m sure that may cause me problems in the future.

But I cooperate without complaint because I know what it’s like working with the general public, let alone the flying public.

Here is where I think there can be problems

There have been times when TSA agents have been rude a-holes to me and everyone else in line at security.

The majority of the time, TSA agents have been professional and courteous, and other times they have gone above and beyond what I would expect.  The time my purse was stolen, the TSA agents at JFK went out of their way to make sure I made my flight, and another time, my son put his ipod in the little dish to go through security and never saw it again.  The TSA agents searched everywhere for that ipod, gave me a form to fill out, and a number to call to see if it was turned in.  They were great.

But, like I said before, there have been times when I’ve seen agents on a serious power trip treating people like a group of stupid cattle.   Imagine if that is the agent that patted you down.  I can see how you would feel violated.

In my opinion, if these pat downs are going to be the norm, there needs to be training, training, and more training.  TSA agents need to keep in mind that some people have never flown before, and what is routine for the agent may be disconcerting to the passenger.  If children are being searched, there needs to be specialized training given to those agents.

The TSA needs to be looking for new, effective,  and less intrusive ways to conduct security.  And passengers need to be careful about the accusations they’re making.

There  needs to be a huge push to make sure that everyone who flies is aware of the procedures used at security.  They also need to know what they should NOT have to put up with just because someone is having a bad day.

In the end, this is a huge inconvenience for everyone.  Terrorism sucks, but it’s a reality, and there will never be a perfect system.

I think everyone needs to tread very carefully right now, on both sides.

I’m actually kind of grateful I was a Quad S for awhile.  I’m an old pro at this.

When you are raising kids, there are so many things competing for your time.   We have not done a great job of exposing our kids to art, so when we stumbled on this small art gallery in Wisconsin, I thought they would glance around and be done.  Instead, they were very impressed with the work of the local artists, and wanted to look at everything!

I guess I haven’t screwed them up too much, yet.

I love to visit  small town war and veterans  memorials.  There’s something so real and genuine about them that is sometimes missing when visiting the larger, overwhelming memorials.   On road trip breaks, or when visiting friends in towns around Minnesota and Wisconsin, we often veer off the road to stop and pay our respects to the vets.

WW II Memorial - Plum City, WI

WW II Memorial - Stockholm, WI

My Little Girl is Growing Up

It started a couple of years ago.  The usually excited reaction I got when I mentioned a family vacation turned to polite interest, and eventually to the words, “I don’t want to go anywhere.”  My daughter, the teenager.

I didn’t have the opportunity to travel when I was a kid, and I don’t mean I didn’t get to see the great cathedrals of Europe. I mean I didn’t get to leave Wisconsin, or even my home town very often.  My parents got divorced when I was two and a big trip for me was to my cousin’s farm nine miles away.

So the first chance I got, I hit the road, and I’ve had the travel bug ever since.

We’ve been traveling with our kids since they were babies, and it’s been one of my greatest  joys.    I love the thought of them heading out into the world with lots of experiences to draw on, and an appreciation of people and the different ways they live.  I also love the fact that when we are on the road, we focus entirely on our family, not on the million other things that fight for our attention everyday.

“I Want to Stay Home”

I knew the words were going to come.  My kids are social butterflies, and developmentally speaking, it’s entirely normal to want to start spending more time with your friends and less with your parents.  School breaks are filled with sleepovers, sports events, movies, and hanging out with friends.  The travel budget is being used for more short term “tournament travel” than eight day treks across the country in the van these days.

So what am I going to do about it?

No matter how the kids feel about travel at the moment, that doesn’t change the fact that it’s still important to me.  It’s been a long process for me to arrive at the conclusion that it’s okay if I take an occasional jaunt alone or with a friend.  Being a stay at home mom for so many years, and then a teacher, with a convenient schedule, I’ve always been home.  At first the kids and I  were a little group, all of us going everywhere together while my husband was at work during the day.  Over the past few years though, the kids have all gotten their own “things.”  Their sports, choirs, fantasy sports leagues, and friends.

I’ve realized, it’s not only okay for me to have my own interests, it sets a healthy example for all of us.

Pagosa Springs, CO, 2010. 2 out of 3 kids ain't bad.

As far as family travel is concerned, there will still be family vacations.  For the time being,  just not as many or as long as they have been in the past.  Perhaps there will be more that are just Steve and I.   But I do know there is one time  of year we  all agree we need to get out of town.

Spring break.

After all, we do live in Minnesota.

How has your family travel changed over the years?

Full service hotels are such a treat when I travel with just may husband…which is never.  Someday, God willing, we’ll get the chance to shack up at fancy hotels with king size beds and minibars.  For now, we are traveling with three kids, and all three officially wear bigger shoes than I do.

The fact that the kids are getting older, and that there are three of them, means I look for specific things when I’m hunting for accommodations.  First of all, I consider it a sport to find the snazziest possible digs for the least cost. I love resorts, and  I’ve become spoiled by high quality bedding over the past few years, but it’s not because I spend a fortune.  There are amazing deals to be had and I love the hunt.

There are some basic things I’ve learned to look for that I know will make everyone happy.

A kitchen – Feeding a family of five is ungodly expensive and inconvenient if you don’t have a kitchen, especially with a couple of teenage boys in the mix.  Keeping a stock of food that your family is accustomed to makes it easy to grab something to eat if you wake up earlier than everyone else, or get hungry at midnight.  There have been times when we’ve really taken advantage of the full kitchen, but even a mini-kitchen with a sink, fridge, and microwave will do the trick.  It also makes it easy to pack a quick cooler full of drinks and reasonably healthy snacks if you are heading out for the entire day.

Multiple bedrooms -  At this point, two bedrooms are an absolute must.  But there are a few things thing to keep your eye on when looking for two bedrooms.  Some resorts try to sneak those full size beds into the second bedroom and say it sleeps four people.  Full size beds do not sleep two people, and certainly not teenage siblings.  I always look for queen size beds in the second bedroom.  I hate fold out couches, but unless you always stay in three bedroom units, they’re a necessary evil when you have three or more kids.

In room laundry – Once you’ve had laundry facilities in your room on a family vacation, you will never want to live without it again.  It makes packing easier and lighter, and can even save you money on checked bags.  Also, I find it easier to wash clothes and pack them clean, than lug a bunch of dirty clothes home and then wash them.

A patio with a view – Okay, I’m getting a little picky here, but this one is for me.  I live in the suburbs of Minnesota, and it’s gorgeous.  But when I’m among the mountains or on the ocean, I love to just sit and be part of it.  A chair, a book, a beer, and a view.  What could be better?

Teenage friendly entertainment – A space where the kids can shoot pool, play chess, join a Wii contest, or just hang out with other kids is like gold.  Even when we have busy days planned,  the kids love to check in at the recreation room in the evenings and wind down.

Great poolside bars – On pool days, my family enjoys ordering lunch from the pool side bar.  My daughter always orders a virgin Pina Colada. and can rank where she’s gotten the best ones, from Orlando to Phoenix to Fort Lauderdale.

Accessible Groceries – Resorts can sometimes be built off the beaten track, and having easy access to daily items is important.  If I”m not going to have a car, I always make sure there is transportation like a bus or trolley available to get me to the store.  If you rely on taxis, it will cost you $4o for a ride to Walmart…and then $4o for the ride back.  I’m just sayin’.

So I’m gong to start reviewing some of the great resorts we’ve been lucky enough to stay at.  I’m not going to include anything I really hated, because what’s the point of that?  There haven’t been many, but I don’t want to wast my time or yours talking about yucky resorts.  Recommended resorts only around here.

Look for the first one shortly!

It’s November, and we all know what that means.  You only have to turn on your TV or walk into Target if you need to be reminded that the holidays are coming.  Toy commercials started running on Halloween, and Christmas themed M & M’s moved in before the black and orange ones moved out.

I discovered a few years ago that I love to travel at holiday time.  And I don’t mean the “over the river and through the woods to Grandmother’s”  kind.

For years, when my kids were little, we hosted Christmas Eve at our house and it was magical.  My husband’s family converged on our house all bringing their babies, toddlers, and little ones.  The opening of the presents was epic, with the kids thrilled at their loot, and Grandma and Grandpa looking on with a twinkle in their eye.  It was all so simple and Norman Rockwell-esqe.  The next day, after Santa and Rudolph had polished off the cookies and carrots we left by the fire, we did the same thing all over again, except this time with my family.

But then a few unexpected wrenches were thrown into our holiday plans.  All in one year, in fact in the same month, both Grandma’s passed away.  Both were way too young.  We all carried on that year, but it was different.  Then there were the divorces.  Some of the happy families we celebrated with became not so happy and split up.  Nieces and nephews were off visiting the other side of their family on Christmas Eve.  Planning the holiday became complicated.

One year I decided our little family of five needed a change of scenery, so I booked a trip to Florida to spend Christmas at Disney World.  It felt weird, because all my life Christmas Eve and Christmas Day had been spent with family, cooking hams, going to church,  and hanging out.   I worried a little about how the kids would react.   Plus, there is no snow in Florida.  How do people have Christmas without snow?!

But it was also very liberating.

We packed our own little Christmas pack complete with Charlie Brown Christmas tree, vinyl holly berry table cloth, and strings of holiday lights.   We visited ceramics shops to paint ornaments, stuffed our animals, and made sure to remember our worn copy of Twas the Night Before Christmas.

I realized you don’t have to celebrate in a prescribed way for it to be real.  You can be riding Space Mountain, or in a wave pool in Wisconsin Dells, and it can still feel like Christmas.  Like an exhilarating, heart pumping version of the holiday you already love.  And to my surprise, you don’t even need snow!

Lest you misunderstand, we didn’t give up on family altogether.  We now hold a New Year’s Day brunch at our house.  There are fewer conflicts with people’s plans, fewer emotional triggers, and more lighthearted fun.  It works for us.

Do you travel with your kids over the holidays?  Where do you go?  I’ve love to hear your stories.

Over the past couple of weeks, I have been  on the internet scouring around for information that I want to share with readers of this blog, because there are a ton of talented, funny, inspiring,  writers out there sharing stories of their travels.

But I take umbrage at the fact that some of the writers  insist on talking about “authentic” travel, as if hanging out with locals wherever you go is somehow superior to enjoying your own family at the beach, or even a *gasp* theme park.

Travel is not a word to be claimed.  There are  no minimum days on the road required to qualify as a traveler,  and taking your kids to Niagara Falls  is as  legitimate as visiting the Pantheon.  Weekend trips to basketball tournaments can serve to bond a family as surely as biking across Europe.

If you’re here, and you’re like me, you travel with your kids and it’s important to you. Or you travel with friends, your mother, or just by yourself.  You visit LEGOLAND, boutique hotels, and historic sites that move you to tears.  Anyway you do it , it is authentic, and it’s worth sharing with others.

Here are some people I think are getting it right.

*Colleen Lanin at travelmamas.com blogs about travel with kids, and includes a great set of packing lists on her site.  I have loads of packing lists at home, but I love hers because you can pack and check off items for up to five people at once.  Get your packing lists here.

*Everywhereist.com  is a site penned by a brilliant writer, copywriter style, (my favorite kind),  and is very, very funny.   She writes about travels with her husband, and a passel of other things that will make you laugh, but will also leave you feeling touched.  Check out her post on the permanence of family.

*The Travelbelles is an online magazine for women, and I like to read it to keep the part of me that’s not a mother alive.  It’s frilly, and southern, and is owned and edited by my friend Margo, who saved my butt in New York last summer when my purse was stolen.

In a very funny post, Margo writes about making friends with her bossy GPS, which is something I think we can all relate to.

*Chris Gray Faust is a real, live, award winning travel writer, who shares gorgeous photos on her travel  blog, and even better, lots of links to help you plan your own travels.

Enjoy.

Happy travels, wherever you are.

Maybe it was because it was on Sunday, or because it seemed to sneak up so fast this year, but Halloween was different.  After such a brilliant October full of sun and 70 to 80 degree days, I think it took everyone by surprise.  But I think there was something else at play in my house.

The kids are at that awkward in between stage.

The stage where cute little costumes and Charlie Brown cartoons don’t rule the day.  The stage where they want to hang with their friends, but aren’t quite sure what to do when you no longer trick or treat.  The stage where staying up all night gorging on candy and watching scary movies would be fun….but it’s Sunday night.

When the kids are very young, it doesn’t matter that it’s Sunday night.  I watched as the gobs of little kids in the neighborhood gathered in their cute costumes to get pictures taken and head out trick or treating at 5:30 pm.  It was still light out, but I expected an early rush, because parents wanted those kids in bed by 8:00 pm.

I felt a twinge for my kids who are entering that phase where the magical glow starts to change.  I read somewhere once that magical thinking starts to recede at around 8 years old, and that a more mature part of your brain takes over by the time you are a teenager.  That’s biology of course, and it’s usually a great thing to see the kids develop better reasoning skills, more logic, and deeper thinking, but once in a while, it’s kind of sad.

It’s like the truth about Santa, the tooth fairy, and the characters at Disney World.  Even though we still recognize all of those things in our house (I admitted the truth about Santa once, but won’t again!), it’s not the same as when they were little.

These days they’re making their own fun.  The boys dressed in ugly, scary costumes that they cobbled together from around the house, set up a haunted house, and terrorized whoever dared to come in.  It was over by about 8:30 pm, though.  Monday morning comes pretty early in this neighborhood, with the middle school kids on the bus before 7:00 am.

Next year, Halloween will be on Monday, which probably won’t be a barn burner either.  By the time Halloween is on a Friday night again, two of my kids will be in college.  Halloween in college is one fun freakin’ night.

I don’t want to hear a word about it.

I love Duck Tours.  If you’ve never been on a Duck Tour,  you’re missing out.   It’s an opportunity for you to relax and enjoy the sights and sounds of harbor and river towns, while foolishly quacking at locals.  If you are lucky, the tour company will provide you with a beak shaped quacker, so you can not only sound ridiculous, but look ridiculous as well.

Bonus points for you if you are with your teenager, because they will be mortified.  Tweens, especially, love to exacerbate this:)

(Warning:  If you’re a person who only enjoys “authentic” travel, like pretending to be a local in a place you’ve never been, Duck Tours are not for you.)

A Little History Just For Fun

Duck is actually DUKW, and refers to a military amphibious transport vehicle used in WWII.    This is what Wikipedia has to say about them:

The designation of DUKW is not a military acronym – the name comes from the model naming terminology used by GMC; the “D” indicates a vehicle designed in 1942, the “U” meant “utility (amphibious)”, the “K” indicated all-wheel drive and the “W” indicated two powered rear axles.

Ducks were manufactured during the WWII years to transport people and goods across land and sea.  The last military Duck was manufactured in 1945, but Ducks have been used in various situations throughout the years, from fighting fires to training exercises.

The most entertaining use of the Ducks is the shuttling of tourists, by land and by sea, as they quack, take in the sights, and humiliate themselves.

Duck Tours are available  everywhere; San Francisco, Boston, Wi Dells, Hawaii., etc.  If it’s a coastal town, you’re probably good. There’s even one in Hot Springs National Park.  Adult tickets tend to run about $30, while kids are closer to $20, but coupons can usually be found online or in one of the local papers in the area, so check those first.  Discounts can be substantial at up to $10 per person.  Any mom knows how fast that adds up.

The first Duck Tours were founded in Milwaukee, WI, and now reside in Wisconsin Dells.  I feel compelled to mention this as a born and raised Wisconsinite.

My Favorite Duck Tour

I’ve been on a few of the tours myself, but my favorite was in Fort Lauderdale.

Fort Lauderdale is known as the “Venice of the Americas”.  There are waterways everywhere, and it has that indescribable oceany atmosphere that I love.

The tour, despite its cheesiness, is filled with tons of history that I was completely unaware of.  I always just thought of Florida as just the sunshine state, but the history of how Fort Lauderdale became Fort Lauderdale is truly a story worth hearing.

The intracoastal waterway is also a unique feature of the Fort Lauderdale tour.   It’s spectacular, but also interesting, in that all sorts of celebrity type homes are there.  Wendy, of  Wendy’s lives there, the Anheuser Busch home is there, and I believe Mr. Spock of Star Trek fame.  Can you imagine the block parties?  There are yachts everywhere.  Providing you don’t die of envy, you’ll love it.

*image credit – kthypryns

**image credit – smart destination