Travels 4 Autism

giving thanks can be depressing- there I said it

2019-11-30T06:21:00.002-08:00

It’s tough during the holidays when you recently lost someone. It’s even more tough when it’s the holidays, you recently lost an important person to you, your family isn’t speaking, your local “friends” never really talk to you anymore, and you’re living with your ex who cheated on you multiple occasions (over 50% of your relationship of 4 years) and he seems to be your only friend.

I’ve cried every day for two weeks leading up to thanksgiving. This holiday was usually spent with myself and my grandparents eating together at their kitchen table. When I was younger it was my parents, brother, and grandparents and we got to eat at the dining room table (mainly cause with 6 people that was the only place we could comfortably sit together). But when my grandparents on my dad’s side moved to town my parents (and sometimes brother) would take them out of town to my dad’s sister’s place for thanksgiving. For for the last 14 years it was kinda just me and them. I was thankful every year that I got to spend with them. Over thanksgiving dinner the three of us would talk about what we are thankful for, talk about my cousins and how they are doing, and talk about current events, etc. sometimes grandma would ask me to come early to help get Christmas out of the attic, sometimes we’d do that after dinner, or sometimes she’d already have it down and she’d ask me to help set some of it up. Grandpa usually helped and he’d tell me random little things from when I was younger or when my mom, aunt, and uncles were kids. My grandparents were my world.

And that world got rocked when my grandma started dying from her cancer. Two years ago I had my final thanksgiving with her. For a change, rather than my parents, aunts, and uncles going to their in-laws for thanksgiving they all stayed in town. We all had thanksgiving together. I was thankful everyone was there but a little part of me just really wanted our thanksgiving that I’d gotten used to for the last 14 years. But knowing that grandma might not make it to her favorite holiday (Christmas) I completely understood why everyone stayed.

My grandma passed away the week before Christmas. So Christmas just felt numb that year. I think we went through the motions as a family but I could tell then what was coming- and it wasn’t going to be pretty.

My mom had taken over care of my grandparents by this time so with how strained my relationship with my mom is I didn’t really get to see much of my grandma in her last 6 months. (another long story for another time- but let’s just say 9 years ago she told me I’m no longer her daughter, she wished I’d never been born, I ruined her life, and she never wanted to see me again. I was 30 at the time- we barely talk now) anyways, so I knew that with my grandpa not wanting to fight or anything like that I’d probably never really see him either.

The following thanksgiving my parents told me they were taking grandpa somewhere for thanksgiving. So you know where I was for thanksgiving? Eating a chicken McNuggets happy meal. I honestly didn’t think I could have a worse thanksgiving. We hosted Christmas and it was just strained. I could feel that the family was already separating. My grandpa didn’t notice, I don’t think, Because he spent it watching the kids play.

Fast forward 7 months and grandpa is in the hospital. I go every day. I finally get to spend time with him. Something I was kept from doing by my mom- that no one could keep my from seeing him at the hospital. They move him to hospice... thank god for it not being an in-home hospice. Grandma had in-home hospice so I never got to see her unless my one uncle would message me that he was there and no one else, so I’d race over so I could spend time with them. I was at the VA Hospice almost every day. I set up amazon Alexa so he could have music, I’d FaceTime my cousins who lived out of town so they could see him and talk to him, I sang with my aunt and uncle, and when it was just him and I sometimes we’d talk, he’d fall asleep, and I’d cry. Losing him sucked.

So it’s now thanksgiving and I’m supposed to be thankful but all I feel is sadness. I cried everyday for two weeks leading up to this day. And when I woke up thanksgiving morning crying I knew I needed to feel close to my grandparents. So I messaged my dad to ask where the key got moved for my grandparents house in hopes that I’d go there, pull out the Christmas stuff, and cry a little. I was told the locks got changed to ask my uncle. I called twice but he didn’t answer and my aunt called me back. I told her what I needed, she said she’d talk to my uncle and call me back. Next thing you know I get a message from my other aunt telling me SHE wants to set up Christmas and won’t be back from visiting her in-laws until Monday. So in short, it didn’t matter that I was depressed and really needed to feel close to my grandparents when I was feeling so alone. Then almost at 11pm my uncle texts with pretty much the same thing that my aunt and her two kids want to. So basically it didn’t matter to them either that I was alone and depressed and really needing to feel close to my grandparents. Then the next morning my mom texts

and says that my uncle has the only key to the house and blah blah- basically exactly what my aunt and uncle said. And then last night my other aunt has the nerve to message me and say “you can be upset but the kids have memories they want too” and all I can think is fuck you. Seriously, I got enraged. The kids are getting everything, the kids and other grandchildren have gotten to go in the house, gotten to shed their tears, gotten to have moments alone in the house with the memories. I haven’t gotten shit. I didn’t complain that everything was left to the kids and nothing to the grandchildren. And until now, I didn’t complain that I couldn’t visit the house- I had just always assumed when I needed it, it would be there until it was sold. But now all I feel is resentment towards my family and anger. I’ve supported their feelings and crap. Shit I’ve tried to get them to talk to each other and spend time together cause that’s what grandma and grandpa would have wanted. But now I just want nothing to do with them. I’m finding it really hard to be thankful for anything this thanksgiving and that really freaking sucks!

Doormat

2019-06-13T07:49:00.000-07:00

It’s really depressing when you look at Facebook and see almost 1,000 friends. Especially if you’re someone that only adds people that you actually know (at the time). I look at Facebook and see all these people and I think, how many would actually be there if I needed a friend. Like legitimately, how many would stop what they are doing, no matter what, and come help.

This leads me to thinking about my future wedding or funeral. (Yes, I did lump those two together because right now I feel like they are one in the same) How many would attend? Im not sure many would. A few family members (provided it doesn’t fall on a weekend/day that they are vacationing or have something better to do) and maybe a few friends (also with the same stipulations as family). It’s in this realization that I’ve noticed I’m the forgettable friend. You call on me when you need something- someone to watch your dog, borrow money, be a character witness in court, etc. but I’m not the friend that anyone says “hey, let me reach out and see if she just wants to hang out.” I’m the doormat.

I don’t like being the doormat.

Sadly, when you’re the doormat it means you look out for people, making sure their “shoes are clean” serving their purpose but no one hangs out with you, talks to you, does things “just because” for you. But still you stay put, always ready for when someone needs to rub their dirty shoes on you to clean them off.

I used to have this take on how I was when I was younger thinking that I was some kind of snotty B or stuck up or something or that I had this clique of friends. Really truly always going to be there friends. But the truth is, as I’ve tested this theory for the last year, if I don’t reach out to them I’d never hear from them at all. Kinda sad and depressing when you think about it. And as I look back it’s always been like that.

So I wonder, is it just me? I thought I was a good friend. But am I? Am I just really this horrible worthless person that no body likes or wants to be around but will tolerate if they need something from me?

-Doormat

I prefer a democracy

2019-05-20T12:17:00.003-07:00

It's been a long time since i posted. and honestly not even sure about posting right now. I'm taking some time to reflect. I've been in a relationship for over 3 years now with a pretty good guy. he tries hard. He's got an ex-wife and two kids. and literally the only thing I can compare his ex-wife to is donald trump (but without the loads of money but then again, do we really know what kind of money trump has either?).

Things are stressful. their oldest son has Autism, he'd be great but he's so impressionable. and Mom just breathes hostility all the time. There are two people when it comes to mom, the side that we (meaning myself, my boyfriend, the kids, her boyfriend, and my boyfriend's family) see and then there's the side that is presented to the public. She paints this picture that my boyfriend is a deadbeat father and does nothing for the kids. Meanwhile we never talk negative about her to the kids or even in the house when they are here. (kids hear everything even when you think they aren't listening).

She and the kids live 2.5 hours away from us. We drive there every other friday and a back to pick them up and to drop them off on sunday. (you read that correctly, she doesnt meet even part of the way- claims to have PTSD and can't cross bridges- even though she works across a bridge and lives between 3 of them). Every other week we get to hear about why do I not hate their mom, that their mom is so mean to me and talks bad about me, and they ask why am i still nice to her. Every week we hear about how she's telling the kids she's going to have their dad move back in with them. (Mind you, she has a live-in boyfriend and she had been having an affair even before my boyfriend and her got married) She tells therapists and doctors that my boyfriend isn't over their relationship and all that went on in it, when in actuality it's her that seems to not be able to come to grips with reality. She attacks and calls him names. She's lied in court about things. She is just an overall horrible human being. I've found that over the last 3 years i've become a very negative person and due to her I seem to see the worst in everyone now. I also feel like giving up. how can someone soooo horrible be granted custody of the kids. Why can't people see how truly bad she is? I mean in states where recording people is legal I'm sure she'd be locked up. She calls their son with autism names and says that he's going to be living with her forever because he'll never be able to live on his own or away from her. non of which is true. he's got HFA (High Functioning Autism) and actually really really smart, just lazy as hell. He'd rather fight and argue than truly do the class work because honestly, he says it's hard but I think it's just too easy for him. It doesnt activate his mind.

He also has a love of computers/electronics. Mom won't allow him these things, with consistent monitory things are great. but she's not consistent and doesn't like to monitor things either. She wants things to be easy. and I can tell she resents the oldest for being different, difficult, or harder to handle than a "normal" kid.

Don't get me wrong, there are moments when the Bulldog mom seems to care. but those moments are few and far between. Like we taught the kids how to swim (they are 12 & 9), we take them to the pool, and work on exercising and swimming in the pool. Well now, she's having a pool installed at her house. says we are going to pay for it because it's "therapy for the kids". court order says that we are responsible for childcare when they are in our care, she now says she's going to send the oldest to a camp and we are going to pay for it because she's going to classify it as "therapy". She's literally using the kids for money, sometimes, I think. It's frustrating.

Some days i just pretend she's not in our lives, those days are good. Those days are much better. But wow, i've never met someone that can train you so quickly. It's sad. it's frustrating.

Almost three years ago, I said I wanted to meet her before meeting the kids. She refused. I tried many times with this lady. Even still, every christmas i get her something, every mother's day, and her birthday. But still she treats me like crap. She wants my income to count towards her child support. But doesnt want her live-in boyfriend's income our all her rental income from all the roommates she rents out the two rooms downstairs to. (that's another issue... these people don't have background checks and are around the kids regularly! and they change every few weeks. it's unnerving) I think from now on i just need to blog about it. It drives my boyfriend crazy talking about it cause he just wants to ignore her and be happy and pretend like she's not there. and when it comes to the kids drop everything just to have them and do what she says to get them. She's a dictator and i prefer a democracy.

Need to start traveling and posting again

2011-03-25T09:38:00.000-07:00

okay, so here's a little update. I've been in New Orleans for the past 4 months. I need to get out there and get photos. I've literally done not much of anything since I've been here. (I know that's not what anyone wants to hear- EVEN myself). I miss the traveling and moreso miss my friends in Virginia. I'll be honest- I'm not sure how long I will be in new orleans or even if my travels will ultimately get me back to Virginia Beach.

I do, however, wish that I would get a job offer back in Virginia beach and then I'd be able to just up and move back there. But for now I am here, in New Orleans.

Dont get me wrong, new orleans is nice. I do like that people say hello. But it's a LOT harder to make friends here than back in Va Beach. Seriously this is probably the longest I've gone with staying in on Friday and saturday nights in my life. I guess it's that I'm used to the military town. It's weird, New Orleans people talk about this being such a small town. HA! It's huge in comparisons to Virginia beach. I've heard people say that this city would never get an NFL team by today's standards. that's not true- actually it's got a tourist ratio like no other which means people will travel to see the team cause the city is a touristy area. Not to mention if it wouldnt receive an NFL team, then it shouldnt have an NBA team or an Arena Football team wither. It's big enough. It's just not as huge as NYC or LA. but it's definitely big enough. in 2007 the population of the CITY of New Orleans (or Orleans Parrish as they are called here) was 300,000. that's just in the parrish not in the metro area so Jefferson Parrish or anything like that which makes up the metro area. That's massive compared to the smallest town with an NFL team- Green Bay Wisconsin that only has 96,000 residents and isnt surrounded by any heavily populated areas either- just farms for miles and miles. now as far as population in Virginia beach goes- last year it was 433,000 but that's in a HUGE area. the actual area of virginia beach is about 5 times the size of new orleans or more.

anyways, i dont know where I was going with that. just kinda rambled off on a tangent about population.

anyways, the deal is I miss va beach and I miss Virginia. (I will say that I miss NYC as well though) I guess maybe I "like" New Orleans, and it has this small piece of my heart but I'm not "in love" with it.

It's not All Fun and Games

2010-12-25T06:45:00.000-08:00

I'm suffering from a bit of writers block during this holiday season...

In the "Big Easy"- New Orleans

2010-12-23T07:44:00.000-08:00

I had a great time in Austin. I got to meet a LOT of new people and talk about Autism... this excitements because for everyone one person you tell they may tell one more person and it'll keep spreading! I arrived in New Orleans last night. While in Austin Ann Gibbons, with Autism Speaks, offered to help me with my blog... We were chatting (e-mailing) back and forth and talking about ways for my blog to improve it's ways to donate to Autism Speaks. So here's the plan we came up with... she's creating a button (similar to my current button) that you can click on to donate straight to Autism Speaks. This will be on my sight soon. Now I wont be able to send you a photo using this tab. HOWEVER, it's to an even greater cause- it helps Autism completely. I'm researching a way for purchase of photos with proceeds going to Autism. I had a site that I had posted and linked a couple months ago but that isn't working. So I'm working on researching for a new sight. however, if you see a photo that you want (to the right) let me know and we'll work it out.

Now I made it to New Orleans last night. Unfortunately I didn't get anymore photos because the weather was sooooo crappy. I'm hoping to get out and get a few photos later today. Also just so you guys know the TV show "The Drs" will be talking about ADHD tomorrow on their show.

Still In Austin

2010-12-20T09:03:00.001-08:00

I'm leaving Austin in a few days. It's been very enlightening here. It seems everyone I meet knows someone with Autism. I've realized though, for everyone one person you tell something about autism they probably tell at least one person and so on... so is it possible if we all tell one person that everyone would become more aware of this disorder and maybe just the right people will hear the right thing about it and something will change... maybe there will be more funding for it one day or maybe health insurance will cover it.

The other day I went to visit the Central Texas Autism Center (CTAC) (no pictures- sorry! It's a rule not to take photos there because of publishing and all that). The facility was neat. I learned a lot about texas and how they approach autism and how they've been successful at altering behaviors. CTAC does a lot of community outreach with the schools districts and other agencies. They also host workshops that are open to the public. (you can find a lot of information by visiting their website at http://www.ctac1.com)

I had planned on going to the UT campus today to explore their area for Autism. They also have a Master's program specifically for Autism. I wanted to learn more about that and should have been more on the ball for it since they are closed this week.

Ive been trying to find a way to feed the homeless in New Orleans this weekend but have not had much luck in that venture. I'm wondering if there's anyone out there that knows how I can go about doing this as every place i've looked seems to be turning up with nothing.

Misconceptions About Autism

2010-12-19T08:14:00.000-08:00

Misconceptions & Truths

Misconception: Autism is an emotional condition that is caused by a child’s withdrawal from parents who are cold and unwilling to accept him/her.

Truth: Autism is a neurological disorder resulting in a developmental disability characterized by difficulties in social reciprocity, language acquisition, and attention to the normal range of environmental events. The cause of this neurological disorder is largely unknown. Recentevidence indicates abnormalities of the cerebellum, the limbic system, and of neuron-chemical transmitters may be involved. There is no evidence that autism is caused by an atypical parenting style. Families of children with autism exercise the same variations in parenting as families of typical children. Also, many children with autism have typical siblings without autism.

Misconception: Dustin Hof man’s character in Rain Man is a typical example of a person with autism.

Truth: People with autism present with an enormous range of differences. Although the autistic individual depicted in the movie “Rain Man” possessed special abilities, the vast majority of autistic people do not. Autistic individuals who possess “genius” abilities are often called “savants” or “autistic savants”. Approximately 50% of all savants have autism, while only about 5 to 10 percent possess extraordinary skills. However, most autistic individuals display uneven or scattered skill development (e.g., do better on nonverbal tasks, motor tasks, and concrete tasks). Additionally, most autistic individuals display significant cognitive/intellectual impairments.

Misconception: Children with autism are withdrawn, avoid eye contact, engage in self-injurious behavior, rock, spin objects, and lack the ability to form emotional attachments

Truth: Individuals with autism tend to be diverse. Some autistic individuals engage in eye contact while others enjoy tickles and hugs. However, not all autistic individuals engage in rocking, spinning, or self-abusive behavior. Some may present with sensory integration dysfunction (e.g., overreaction to touch, vision, sound, etc.), which lead them to express and receive affection in unconventional ways. However, the stereotypical child with autism who is indifferent to the social world does not fit in most cases.

Misconception: Autism and mental retardation are two separate diagnostic categories.

Truth: Historically, more than half of children with autism have scored within the mentally retarded range on IQ tests designed for the mainstream population. However, these statistics should be regarded with great caution for several reasons:

Many children with autism are untestable prior to treatment
Most intelligence tests include abundance of verbal items and are, therefore, biased against children with autism prior to treatment;
Children with autism have historically been grouped together with other children who have disabilities. This grouping has prevented them from having access to peers who could model appropriate behaviors and from opportunities to adapt to typical environment;
Adequate treatments for children with autism are just beginning to be defined, and outcome measures involving these treatments indicate that the incidence of mental retardation is substantially smaller than what was previously reported.

Misconception: Autism is a life-long disability.

Truth: With appropriate treatment, almost 50% of individuals with autism will become indistinguishable from the mainstream population. Many others will develop independent living skills. A small number will require support throughout their lives. Autism is a spectrum disorder and children with autism appear to benefit from a spectrum of treatment options. Research suggests that a behavior approach is appropriate as a starting point. However, many children will benefit from additional treatment options.

Autism in Texas

2010-12-16T08:58:00.000-08:00

There are more than17,000 children in public schools in Texas who have been identified as autistic.
Autism affects 1 in every 166 children, and it affects four times as many boys as girls. (Center for Disease Control)
Autism has a 20% growth per year -- that equates to 8 new children acquiring autism every day or one child every 3 hours. (Ray Palmer Ph.d. University of Texas Health Science Center San Antonio, Texas)
Autism is more common than Down’s syndrome, childhood cancer, cerebral palsy, and multiple sclerosis.
Autism is a disorder that impairs a child’s ability to communicate, socialize, play, and think.
Autism affects all socioeconomic backgrounds, regardless of race or ethnicity.
Autism has grown 1,354%from the 1991-92 school year to the 2001-2002 school year.
80% of parents with autistic children reported stress above the 85 th percentile compared to the parents in the general population. (Parent Stress Study Result by Harold Longenecker, Ph.d.)
It costs about $ 3.2 million to care for an autistic person over the course of his or her lifetime. (Understanding Autism: From Basic Neuroscience to Treatment by Michael Ganz, Assistant Professor of Society, Human Development and Health at Harvard School of Public Health (CRC Press, 2006)
Autism is a “spectrum” disorder so that children with autism have a wide range of specific symptoms, and each one will respond differently to therapy. As a result, each child needs an individualized program to progress.
With appropriate treatment, almost 50% of people with autism will become indistinguishable from the mainstream population.

From Tucson to Austin- a LONG post

2010-12-16T08:39:00.000-08:00

Wow, it's been a bit since I've been able to update my blog. I finally started doing rideshare. Someone had suggested it to me because of my budget that I am on. After the first one I decided to do it again.

I was lucky to meet Summar. She's dealing with Asberger's which is a form of autism. I got to speak with her on the ride and she was telling me about how every year she feels like she's doing better than the year prior. She let me know that dogs make her nervous so she'd probably be petting dobie a LOT. I dont think he minded! I actually think Dobie really took to her. I'm looking forward to staying in touch with her and her progress. She's attending U of A (University of Arizona). She had gone to a college in Santa Fe but transferred to UofA. I'm completely amazed by her. She's studying Arabic and wants to join the Peace corp. She has aspirations of traveling the world. I'll be honest, after speaking with her I'm looking at the Peacecorp myself. I'm not sure I could actually leave my dog with someone for 27 months though. But i'm wordering if it'd be good for me, I like helping others, I like meeting new people, I like doing someone that has a reason behind it. Hmmm, Summar has given me something to Ponder!

After getting Summar to a town called Las Cruces (it's near El Paso- about 10 or 15 miles) I headed on towards Austin. I tried to get someone from El Paso to Rideshare to Austin but that didn't pan out so alas, another night spent in my car- that's 2 nights in a a row. It happens, I know, but these two just felt more difficult than all the others. maybe it's because in california I never spent more than one night in my car- i'd been spoiled since thankgiving. It put me in check, that's for sure. Tuesday was a bit of an emotional day. I didn't really get any photos for this journey. I'm hoping to get some after tuesday. I think I just wiped Tuesday from my life. I was accused of doing this to scam people.

Just to clarify for anyone reading this, this is how this all began: I left Virginia on November 2nd. I decided to travel the country and apply for jobs. But that didn't feel like I was doing enough. So by the time I got to Knoxville I had decided that I was going to do this for a cause. At first I figured I'd just take photos, sell them in the end, and split the proceeds between Autism and Alzheimers. When I got to Indianapolis this is still what I was doing. But on my drive to Chicago I decided that would be spreading it to thin and that the photo sale proceeds would just go to Autism. As many of you know I had a different blogsite that I was using (http://ashleightravels.blog.com/) and I started that blog about 4 or 5 days after leaving. I didn't talk much about it since it was just going to be something that I was going to do after I got back with the photos I was taking. A friend suggested that I make people aware of what I'm doing. that I should add a way to donate on my blog because it's something that helps. (which I am sooooo happy to say that at some point on Tuesday a wonderful Friend donated to Autism Speaks- I am sooooo very much thankful for her donation.) I actually had never thought of putting the donation tap up there until it was suggested and it was a very smart suggestion. People have questioned my credential when it comes to Autism... to answer those questions here is a bit about me and my connection with Autism: When I was 18 and went off to college I did not want to come home for summer break. Like a lot of college kids I applied to work as a camp councelor. I chose Camp Easter Seals- East in Milford, Virginia. I fell in love with Autism there. It started with the kids, they ranged from 6 to 17 years of age. and there was two that I greatly remember as being the main reason why I started to care about Autism so much. Richard and John. Two amazing teenagers at the camp. One didn't really speak much and when he did the words were jumbled or different than words I know. One spoke perfectly fine english but in an interesting way. One was hyper active and darted around the camp and one moved slowly in what I would refer to as the "old man walk". These two kids, both with Autism but very very different kids from each other. My curiosity was high. I wanted to know why they were so different although diagnosed with the same thing. i'm not really great at science so I didn't really switch my major to anything but I continued to work at that camp for three more summers. for the longest I thought it was my calling in life. I held several other jobs in my life so far but that one has always held my heart. Over time I worked with troubled teens, "normal" kids, and kids with special needs, as well as adults in a business setting. I finally became friends with someone that has a kid with Autism. I personally think this kid is EXTREMELY bright. I dont care what his doctors say in that aspect, this kid has this amazing ability when it comes to video games like no other 5 or 6 year old I've ever seen before. His parents absolutely amaze me. and I always enjoy sitting over there and having coffee or water talking with the mom or hanging out with the kid. This kid taught me stuff about video games and how to play things and he just straight up amazes me. I think, I think about my friends and their family every time I take a photo. I'm excited that the proceeds go to Autism Speaks . I dont actually ask anyone to donate to my blog unless you want to. If you do want to donate to the blog know that it was all go to Autism Speaks. if you chose that you want me to use any portion for gas you need to let me know otherwise every bit goes to autism speaks. Photos aren't really on a website of their own yet so if you want a photo you need to let me know which one.

On another note I am in Austin now. Yesterday my friends roommate took me to volunteer at the Heart House. What an amazing experience. I really fell in love with it and it totally broke my heart when a kid asked me if I was coming back the next day and if they'd be seeing me again and I had to be honest and tell him no. I actually told a group of kids what Autism is. they were all in 4th and 5th grade. they were so curious about it. (honestly not sure if it was appropriate telling 4th and 5th graders about autism but I thought it couldnt hurt for them to learn something about it. I just told them a few little facts, not much just a few.) The Heart House kids have all signed photo wavers so I will be posting those photos.

On some other great news, tomorrow I will be touring the Texas State Center for Autism located in Austin. I'm looking forward to meeting Candi and seeing the facility and learning about it. (no pictures of kids on that one! but I will get pictures of the facility)

anyways I will post more later.

Grand Canyon A Bust

2010-12-12T09:51:00.000-08:00

So I left Santa Ana after having a great time with Candy and her hubby, Brian. Dobie got to spend his last day in california at a dog park which he LOVED. I headed to the coast to pick up a woman named Deb which was through a Rideshare thing. She was great and paid for my first In-n-Out Burger experience and chipped in majorly for gas. I got her to Henderson, NV and then took a drive on the Vegas Strip (NOT what I expected). Unfortunately since it was Friday night it was way to busy for me to leave dobie in a car for me to get out and walk around. So I headed to the Grand Canyon Skywalk.

Firstly, you have to drive down this LONG dirt path at 15 miles an hour for 20 miles. Unfortunately when I got to the end of that the "Reservation (Park)" was closed. There's nothing out there at all and no place that you are allowed to camp. Just Park Rangers that direct you to this Ranch which costs $85 a night plus tax and they have kennels for your dog outside which cost $40 a night. Well that's a big fat NO for dobie and I since we aren't spending money on hotels at all. They then give me information on the pricing for the Skywalk... WOW- just to see it is $43 and to go out on it is $95! WHAT?! That's CRAZINESS! So I explained what I am doing and all that and was informed that they would give me a group discount if I had Autistic kids with me but they wont give me a discount for just coming by myself. and the discount would be $35 a person to see it and $75 a person to go out on it. HA! NOT this girl. So I turned around and started down the LONG dirt path again. It's very windy and obvious you are going through the canyon a bit, it was pitch dark and that area was doing crazy funny things to my camera, it wouldnt allow me to manual focus or auto focus, not to mention my computer wouldnt turn on there and my phone mysteriously turned off even though it was fully charged and it had no signal at all to do anything. It was quite odd in there. I finally got out and almost hit a wolf again. (I really do think those big dogs are out to get me on this trip- third one I almost hit in my journey)

I found an abandoned restaurant along highway 93 in arizona that 3 trucks were parked at so I stopped and spent the night. I must say it's amazing to wake up to the sun peaking over the mountain tops. (look at Candid America: Arizona for pics). Some of the roads were absolutely breathe taking but you couldnt pull over for photos. I stopped in a little town that had a service station that looked just like the service station in the Disney Movie CARS.. you know the one the lil' french car owned that had all the tires. After stopping I was told that the actual town was two exits down and 2 hours away down on Rt 66. I was gonna go but decided to pass. there's a tow truck service there really called Mater. and the town evidently looks just like what Disney depicted in the movie. SUPER Impressed but I'd take the girl's word for it cause it would have added 5 hours to my journey and I definitely didn't have the gas money for that! I actually don't have the gas money to make it to Austin yet so I am going to be camping in my car for 3 nights till I can afford it. Not stressed. Hopefully I will get some pretty awesome photos along the way then.

I must admit though- with almost 200 people viewing my site I am a little shocked that there has been no one to donate to the cause. When you click donate there is a comment box that you can type in if you just want it to go to Autism Awareness, if you want a portion to go to my gas/food, and if you'd like a photo.

Tomorrow Starts the Hard Part of My Trip

2010-12-09T08:25:00.000-08:00

So I'll admit it- I've been very fortunate in my travels so far. other than a couple nights here and there I've always had a friend (or family)'s house to stay at for a few days. Now I'm getting ready to spend 5 nights straight in my car. My plans for Tuscan, AZ have changed which originally was going to be my next stop. Unfortunately I cant afford to get to Austin till on Wednesday as money is always extremely tight. I havent received any donations yet either. Not for the cause of for the travels. This is a bit discouraging as well. (I admit it, at least) but no one said the trip would be easy. No one even said others would really care what i am doing. I've been fortunate to have friends (and family) that have provided meals and hot showers in my journey. Very grateful for this.

I admit that I was hoping a bit to stay in southern california. I must say that if any place reminds me of where I feel most at home (Virginia Beach) it would be Los Angeles area. People are surprisingly pleasant. and not all star struck or anything like that... it's actually pretty chill.

I'm sad to report that I will not be going to the Price is Right this afternoon. I did a quick calculation on gas and money (I'm in Santa Ana) and I just can not afford the gas and parking to get there, I'd be stuck in the area till wednesday- not that I'd complain about that but if I'm going to be living in my car till wednesday I'd rather not be sitting in a parking lot with nothing new going on. I currently have enough money to make it about 1,000 miles. (that would be phoenix, az or Tuscan, AZ pending on how often I stop and how many mountains there are)

I'm hoping things will be fine. I will find truck stops here and there that have showers. I havent seen any of those on the west coast yet or even between the east and west coast but I know that they are on the east coast so I assume they have to be on the west coast as well some where.

I am looking forward to getting the photos in between cali and arizona. Luckily I have lots of waters in the car and a few bags of chips and poptarts (I know, not the healthiest of meals but this is actually what I eat when I'm on these days cause eating out is more expensive and this was cheaper than PB&J sandwiches). If you remember the idea is for me to spend as little money as possible and try to stay under $100 a week. Unfortunately the under $100 a week has not worked out so well since gas is so expensive. I've been paying on average about $3.31 a gallon. I have a 16 gallon tank which my car gets 25 miles to the gallon (Average) so I'm spending about $53 every time I fill up which only gets me 400 miles- that's pretty pricey. It means for every mile that I drive I'm spending 15 cents. That adds up. Not to mention when I need oil changes or new tires or something else happening to my car. Woah, i shouldnt have started thinking about that now cause that means this really hasnt been to beneficial in raising awareness for Autism and has just costed me a whole lot of money that I could have been using for things like christmas or paying some bills. WOW. Okay, I'm done thinking and typing aloud cause that topic scares me.

anyways, back to positive things... I start my journey east tomorrow. I'm a bit excited and nervous at the same time. It gets lonely in the car with just my dog. i've found myself having real conversations with him and using his facial expressions and head tilts as answers. LOL I've definitely learned a lot about myself but havent exactly found my direction yet. As you know I have been applying to jobs as I've gone along in the adventure. I finally got a few bites in L.A. and had a phone interview with Red Bull. That was very exciting. I'd love to work for that company. But, alas, I was supposed to hear from them yesterday if I got a second interview, well, you know I'm leavin the west coast tomorrow so that should tell you that sadly I did not get a second interview. I guess that means that L.A. is not my destiny. (saddened by this since I've grown to really like L.A.) It's on to applying to jobs in Phoenix, Tuscan, and Austin. Keeping my head up, keeping positive, and keeping my hopes alive.

Karla McGregory- Keeping you informed!

2010-12-08T23:34:00.000-08:00

I first heard of Karla McGregory upon googling Autism in the News. I came across Ms. McGregory in an article on MSNBC for professors and sabbaticals. This small article mentioned Ms. McGregory and her studies of development and autism. I decided to look her up and found quite a bit of information.

Here are a few great links for you parent's out there or anyone researching autism to check out:
http://www.uiowa.edu/~comsci/research/wll/links.html

Here is also a link to her listing of publications she has done from her research, some of them are worth going to your local library or university to be able to read:
http://www.uiowa.edu/~comsci/research/wll/McGregobriefCV2010.pdf

Skip the top part of this page and pass the map to get links to some of her publications as well:
http://www.biomedexperts.com/Profile.bme/916872/Karla_K_McGregor
http://www.labome.org/expert/usa/northwestern/mcgregor/karla-k-mcgregor-309984.html

Charge Study

2010-12-08T23:19:00.000-08:00

Uncovering environmental causes of autism

CHARGE (Childhood Autism Risks from Genetics and the Environment) was launched in 2003 as a study of 1,000 to 2,000 children with differing patterns of development. The goal is to better understand the causes and contributing factors for autism or developmental delay. Three groups of children are being enrolled in the CHARGE study: children with autism, children with developmental delay who do not have autism and children from the general population. All of them are evaluated for a broad array of exposures and susceptibilities.

Refining our understanding of environment-gene interactions

Little is known about what causes autism or developmental delay. We will learn how genes and the environment interact to change children’s behaviors and skills. By studying a large number of children, we will discover which particular genes and/or environmental exposures might result in non-typical patterns of development and special subtypes of autism or developmental delay.

The participants

Children enrolled in the study must:
Be between 24 and 60 months of age

Have been born in California

Have parents who speak either English or Spanish

Live with at least one biological parent

Children with autism or developmental delay are identified with assistance from the California Department of Developmental Services’ Regional Centers. Other children come from the community at large.

The evaluation

Children are assessed for their stage of social, intellectual and behavioral development. In addition, information is collected about chemicals in the environment at home and elsewhere, medical history, diet and other aspects of their lives, before and after birth. We also look at factors that may affect brain development, including cells in the immune system, chemicals that regulate the nervous system and lipids such as cholesterol.
Assessments are performed at the UC Davis M.I.N.D. Institute in Sacramento and an extensive interview is conducted by telephone.

More INFORMATION: http://beincharge.ucdavis.edu/

Great Site

2010-12-08T23:14:00.000-08:00

If you can afford it, it would be beneficial to subscribe to this site. They are very helpful and have lots of information and assistance. However, it's a bit pricey. I will keep my eyes open for some free places. but for now I felt like I should share this site for those of you out there reading my blog.

http://www.rethinkautism.com/default.aspx

Important Information: Contact your local congressman

2010-12-08T23:09:00.000-08:00

this is pretty important- not everyone can afford the care that is needed and the government needs to help out:

ACTION NEEDED: Call Congress Today to Ensure Funding for Lifespan Respite and Family Caregivers
Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Funding levels proposed by Congress for fiscal year 2011 may be cut if we don't act NOW!

Currently, the federal government is being funded through December 18 with a stopgap funding measure, known as a continuing resolution (CR). Congress is considering two primary options for funding the federal government for the remainder of Fiscal Year (FY) 2011: a single, large appropriations bill based on work already done by the House and Senate (called an omnibus), or another CR, which would fund the government through the rest of FY 2011, mostly at FY 2010 levels.

It is still unclear what method Congress will use. The omnibus bill is preferred because it would guarantee increases for both the Lifespan Respite Care Act and the National Family Caregiver Support Program. In any case, we support funding at the higher levels for FY 2011.

Maintaining FY 2010 funding levels for the Lifespan Respite Act and the National Family Caregiver Support Program would mean 200,000 fewer family caregivers will receive support services and 3 million hours of respite will be lost.

Please CALL CONGRESS TODAY to ensure that ANY final FY 2011 funding bill for Health and Human Services includes:

$7 million for Lifespan Respite, the amount included in the Senate FY 2011 Labor, HHS, Education Appropriations bill.
$200 million for the National Family Caregiver Support Program, the amount the President recommended as part of his Middle Class Task Force Initiative, and included in the Senate bill.

These funding levels proposed by Congress for FY 2011 may be cut if we don't act NOW! Congress is expected to decide by next week how to proceed in regard to FY 2011 funding.

Call your Representative(s) and Senators TODAY.

Call the Capitol Switchboard at 202-224-3121 and ask to be connected to your Representative’s or Senator’s office. When connected, ask to speak to the person who works on health or disability issues.
If you don’t know who your Representative and Senators are, visit www.congress.org and enter your zip code.
Explain the importance of providing these funding levels in the final FY 2011 funding bill. Use the talking points below to make your case.
Ask the staff member if his/her boss will contact the Appropriations Committee in support of including these funding levels in the final FY 2011 spending bill, no matter what format it takes.

Message/Talking Points:

- Over 65 million family caregivers provide at least 80% of long-term care and support to family members of all ages with disabilities or chronic conditions. According to AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving, 88% of these family caregivers do not receive any respite services. Also, 85% of family caregivers of veterans receive no respite services, even through the Veterans Administration.
- If we continue to deny supports such as respite, to these family caregivers, much more costly foster care, nursing home placements or other institutional placements become the only alternative.
- Please include the additional funding for Lifespan Respite and National Family Caregiver Support that the Administration proposed and Congressional Committees already voted to support. The extra funding will allow nearly 200,000 additional caregivers to be served and 3 million more hours of respite care to be provided.

From the National Respite Coalition Lifespan Respite Task Force

Autism, Theaters, and Chronicles of Narnia

2010-12-08T23:05:00.000-08:00

I'm super impressed that some of the theaters (AMC) are having special showings of movies for children with Autism. This is absolutely amazing. Finally there is a place where it's okay that you may not pay attention to the entire movie or feel out of place because of it. It's safe! Check it out if you have any autistic kids and pass it on to those who do as well:

Don't miss the next Sensory Friendly Film!

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

December 11

10 a.m. local time

Find a theatre

AMC Theatres (AMC) and the Autism Society have teamed up to bring families affected by autism and other disabilities a special opportunity to enjoy their favorite films in a safe and accepting environment on a monthly basis with the "Sensory Friendly Films" program.

In order to provide a more accepting and comfortable setting for this unique audience, the movie auditoriums will have their lights brought up and the sound turned down, families will be able to bring in their own gluten-free, casein-free snacks, and no previews or advertisements will be shown before the movie. Additionally, audience members are welcome to get up and dance, walk, shout or sing - in other words, AMC’s “Silence is Golden^®” policy will not be enforced unless the safety of the audience is questioned.

Did you go to one of our previous Sensory Friendly Flims? Tell us what you thought!

Tickets are $4-6 depending on location and can be purchased on the day of the event.

Upcoming Shows

January 8: Gulliver's Travels

Never miss a movie!

Sign up for the Autism Society's free e-newsletter for updates on upcoming Sensory Friendly Films, as well as the latest info on autism news, advocacy, research, education, conferences and resources!

http://www.autism-society.org/site/PageServer?pagename=sensoryfilms

Ready, Set, ... BLOG

2010-12-05T17:24:00.000-08:00

Thank you for stopping in again. I believe I am finally getting there... I have my blog's layout all set out. and I must admit I love this blog site better than my last one. I've gotten the pages organized and if you look to your right there are photos... most resent state visited first. If you are wanting to purchase a photo please let me know which one. I of course have a few favorites but I can't tell you those.

As you may know if you follow me on twitter (http://twitter.com/AshleighTravels) I am in California. Currently I am staying at a friend's house for the weekend (thank you Archey) and will be going to another friend's house tomorrow that is also in the area. I went to sushi last night for the first time in a while and one of the people that went to dinner with us works with Autism. I was sooooo excited to learn this. He gave me lots of suggestions of places to check out as well as possible photo spots. I'm looking forward to hopefully checking out a few of these places soon.

I've also gotten better at tweeting! And spreading the word on there. I'm becoming more and more amazed at the American public for their support. Kelsey Grammer and Atari Bigby have even started following me on Twitter. This is exciting to me cause if they just tell one person that tells another it will spread like wild fire.

so here's my challenge to you. At least twice a week tell two new people that you know or have met about autism. if they do the same then before we know it people will become so aware and realize how important it is.

So What Am I Doing Exactly?

2010-12-04T11:46:00.000-08:00

Thank you for stopping by. I plan on this being somewhat of a simple blog. I decided to travel the US using just $100 a week. I know that barely gets me from point A to point B but I plan on stopping frequently and taking photos of various places. My journey, began in Virginia and so far I have been to Tennessee, Kentucky, Indianapolis, Wisconsin, South Dakota, Wyoming, Nevada, and California (as well as others in between)... Unfortunately due to a big winter storm I did not get into canada or washington.

I am traveling with my dog, dobie, who always enjoys a road trip and definitely travels easy since he only weighs 18lbs and sleeps a lot. Many nights I will be sleeping in my car and others I will be hopefully crashing on friends’ couches. In my journey I am sure I will find out what those showers in truck stops look like (which I must admit I am slightly afraid to see) and relying on the kindness of friends.

I left Virginia on November 2nd and was thankful to make it to California in time for Thanksgiving, so I actually got to spend thanksgiving with people I know. Christmas may be a different story as I am unsure where I will be at that time. I may be spending Christmas in my car with my dog... No worries I'll be sure santa still visits him.

All photos will be available for sale. Pending on the size of a print you want and if you want it framed and matted depends on the cost of the photo, so please inquire about photos you are interested in. Please keep in mind that I will be donating all proceeds to two things for autism... one is the Autism Society which these funds help with the costs of research on finding a cure and ways to help autistic children and families. The second will go to Families in Need with Autistic Children. If you know someone with Autism or a family that has an Autistic child you know that this is very expensive. Not all families can afford the care.

After leaving Southern California I plan on starting a zig zag trail back to the east coast... first stop the Grand Canyon.

Did You Know

2010-12-04T11:45:00.000-08:00

Facts about Autism

Did you know ...

Autism now affects 1 in 110 children and 1 in 70 boys
Autism prevalence figures are growing
More children will be diagnosed with autism this year than with AIDS, diabetes & cancer combined
Autism is the fastest-growing serious developmental disability in the U.S.
Autism costs the nation over $35 billion per year, a figure expected to significantly increase in the next decade
Autism receives less than 5% of the research funding of many less prevalent childhood diseases
Boys are four times more likely than girls to have autism
There is no medical detection or cure for autism

Prevalence vs. Private Funding

Leukemia: Affects 1 in 1,200 / Funding: $277 million
Muscular Dystrophy: Affects 1 in 100,000 / Funding: $162 million
Pediatric AIDS: Affects 1 in 300 / Funding: $394 million
Juvenile Diabetes: Affects 1 in 500 / Funding: $156 million
Autism: Affects 1 in 110 / Funding: $79 million

National Institutes of Health Funds Allocation

Total 2009 NIH budget: $35.9 billion
Of this, only $196 million goes directly to autism research. This represents 0.5% of total NIH funding.

Officially Switching Blog Sites

2010-12-04T11:36:00.000-08:00

Here is a link to my previous blog: http://ashleightravels.blog.com/

you may ask why am I switching. To be honest it's mainly because I am an android phone user and this sight (http://ashleightravels.blogspot.com/) syncs the photos I upload here to my phone which I can therefore post onto other social media sites. Thus making my posting process much easier. I love my other site, just the convenience of only having to upload the photos once for sharing (other than when I get the purchase site up and running) makes things easier. Soooo here I am- starting up the new blog.

I copied my old blog entries as well into here (back dated them to their original date). working on getting better about finding places with internet to allow me to blog!

starting again

2010-11-29T07:45:00.000-08:00

I'm starting my travels again after a week of not taking photos. I miss my camera I think! But I guess it's good to have some down time. I'm trying out blogspot to continue my blog, we'll see how i like it- I still have my one at blogger. so this is just a test post to see if I can post more than one photo at a time. If so then I'm sold and switching. here it goes.....

nope just one at a time- keeping with my other one then.

Traveling West

2010-11-20T09:11:00.000-08:00

It’s been a bit since I blogged, mainly due to lack of internet. It’s difficult tethering my cell phone left and right to blog. Anyways sooo since my last blog- i spent the day at lambeau, met a few of the Packers, got a Pet Jersey signed by a few and hit the road.

I’ve hit lots of snow along the way, I went through Minnesota, South Dakota, Wyoming, Utah, and now I am in Nevada. weather is getting bad, evidently there is a snow storm expected for northern Cali… I’m a bit worried that this will effect my travels.

I am going to upload photos from this journey so far. Among my favorites are the sunsets of South Dakota and some of the mountains shots from all of them.

please let me know if there is one you’d like to purchase- keep in mind the proceeds get donated to the charities.

And It's Lambeau Field

2010-11-17T09:11:00.000-08:00

I am excited to report that I have made it to Green Bay, WI! Tomorrow morning I will be touring Lambeau Field and supposedly the team will be practicing on the field tomorrow! How exciting, I hope to get GREAT photos.

The drive from Indy was quite wet! It was raining when I left and rained about half way up. Chicago was busy and it was late so I didn’t stop to take photos (sadly)! I was hoping to get photos of wrigley field and soldier field (and maybe the white sox stadium too) but unfortunately with traffic, weather, and time of night I had to pass on that.

It’s exciting to be in a town where everything is about the football team that I like. That’s a new feeling for me since I’m used to having to special order things and hope that I get them in time, etc etc. I’m hoping to get a few things while I am here since it’ll be cheaper here than ordering them and having them shipped.

After this- next stop is going to be Mt. Rushmore….

stay tuned!

Welcome To Indiana

2010-11-11T09:10:00.000-08:00

So as I continue my journey around the world I ventured north from Knoxville, TN. I had a great time seeing my old high school best friend and love that we can still talk like nothing has changed. I loved meeting her two twin girls- they were soooo great, and they definitely loved Dobie.

I left there yesterday and headed to Indianapolis, IN. I had a stop in Louisville, KY to have lunch with a friend that I used to pall around with in C.A.R., Sarah Reidy! It was great catching up with her. It’s so weird to realize that we’ve known each other over half of our lives! I’m glad to report she seems to be doing well and enjoying Louisville!

Next on my agenda was back on the road to Indianapolis. I must admit I definitely didn’t expect farms out here. I think I was thinking major big city with massive amounts of people all the time. Hopefully I will get to go see Lucas Oil Stadium- home of the Colts (www.colts.com) sometime during this visit. They evidently have a game this sunday so maybe Allexa and I can go tailgate or something. I think that would be pretty cool.

I’ve taken quite a few pictures out at the farm that Allexa’s mom has. I’m looking forward to getting more. Maybe some of the horse and other things around.