Necessary Endings

I hade eyed this book suspiciously and not really wanted to read it, but I had a gut feeling it would be an important read. This book, by Dr. Henry Cloud of Boundaries fame looks at why we need to be okay with things ending. One of the key take-aways from this book for me was that endings are necessary for new things to grow and take shape. In this way, much of this book was about ending even good things in a healthy and productive way so that God can make a way for better things in your life. This book was helpful for me as I tend not to be good at saying goodbye and this year has been full of productive endings that I believe will lead to greater fruitfulness.

Good Authority

I’ve read my fair share of leadership/management/business books and most of them have left me cold with suggestions that would never work in most industries. This was different. This book looks at management as a way to truly help people get what they want, not just out of work, but also out of life. This book came at a time where I was struggling with a lack of transparency and honesty in several work relationships and it truly helped me see through those issues and begin to speak from my perspective in the office. If you’ve ever wondered if you could be a good boss/coach or if there even are such things, I would suggest picking up a copy and giving it a read.

The Coddling of the American Mind

I LOVE this book. This book gets at the heart of our inability as Americans to handle information that upsets us. It looks at the history that has brought us to this point, but more importantly it talks about what we can do individually to combat the myth that ideas, especially ideas that contradict our own, can harm us. While I tend read broadly (especially outside my political and religious tribes), I was delighted to find out that this book is written by people far outside of my political leanings and that fact alone gave me hope that we as a people might be closer to getting out of our tribalism and information bubbles as a people. If you’re seeing people acting like they are being attacked by someone having a different opinion, pick up a copy of this book. It’s eye-opening.

The Cold Dish

One thing you’ll note from my yearly recaps of my reading is that there isn’t a lot of fiction on the lists. This year I read a LOT more non-fiction and this book was one of the reasons. Anyone familiar with the Netflix show Longmire will recognize some of the characters here. Let me tell you, this book is a lot better than the show. The story centers around Walt Longmire, a county sheriff in Wyoming who a year earlier had brought some teenage boys to trial for a rape they had committed. The boys received a slap on the wrist and are now slowly being killed by an unknown assailant. This book has a ton of mystery, but what sets it apart is the strong male to male friendship between Walt and his best friend Henry Standing Bear. It’s very rare to see this kind of strong male friendship in literature and I keep returning to the series to see the relationship between these two play out. Spoiler Alert: By the end of the book they solve the mystery and one more mystery shows up about every book so far. I’ve read seven of these this year, and while they aren’t all as good as this one, there’s a lot to love about this series. Christian Alert: There is a lot of swearing in this book (and the subsequent ones) and some other non-PG material as you go. If that sort of stuff trips you up, I would avoid this series.

Christ the Healer

In all fairness this was a re-read for me, but it had been almost 20 years since I read it the first time and I desperately needed to re-read this. This book has the ability to transform your understanding of God’s ability and willingness to heal the sick. It is written by a healing evangelist from the 1950’s and because of that it is part theological treatise and part experiential testimony. Bosworth does an amazing job of poking at all of our bad arguments against healing and showing us how they don’t stack up against the Bible. I was strengthened again in my understanding of healing being rooted in the New Covenant Jesus paid for with his blood. I believe that the ministry of healing is something God is wanting to restore to the church in a greater way and this book will be a helpful tool for those looking to strengthen that kind of faith.

The Four Hour Work Week

Okay, hold off your eye roll for just a moment. I had picked up this book in 2010 and had always meant to get around to it. I knew the title/cover made some pretty bold claims and they always seemed too good to be true. However, after reading the book this year, I found it stuffed with important insights about the nature of work, productivity insights, and a plan for self-improvement more than anything else. I don’t know that everyone can pull of the sort of hands-off business that Ferris describes in these pages, but I’m convinced that everyone who reads this book will be challenged to chart their own path for their career and build a life they enjoy instead of the one that is handed down from the powers of this world.

Stand Out of Our Light

Stand Out of Our Light is an interesting read. There are plenty of books that challenge the current technology-driven lifestyle most of us live, but this book focuses on an often-overlooked facet of the technology life: Our attention. More and more, the technology that we use is designed to steal our attention away, to be increasingly addictive so we don’t want to turn away. This book asks the question: “Is that a good thing, and if not, what do we do about it?” While many books focus on the problem of screen addiction, polarization, and lack of true socialization, “Stand Out of Our Light” asks us to consider the cost of trading our attention for whatever is on our smartphone. You’ll think differently about screen time after reading this book.

Hero Maker

Hero Maker is a book for Christians who desire to multiply disciples, leaders, groups, and churches. Dave Ferguson, who with his brother Jon, launched Community Christian Church in Chicago, have been on a journey of multiplying disciples at many different levels for decades. This book focuses on how to be a movement-minded disciple maker (what Ferguson calls a “Hero Maker”) in whatever context you find yourself in. There were parts of this book that were only applicable to traditional churches, but there were parts that were applicable to the most organically-minded believers as well. Ferguson gives a number of tools that are helpful in developing laborers in the harvest. I was challenged by tools as simple as “I See In You Statements” that help call others to embrace areas of gifting they may not see in themselves. This book has a number of tools like this that will help believers in any stage of disciple making. If you are looking for a book that both infuses you with a heart for disciple making and gives you solid tools, this is the book you are looking for.

Atomic Habits

I have to say I did not believe that this book could live up to the hype. I had originally thought that the title referred to the “atomic power” of forming habits that drive productivity. Instead, the book took a surprising turn in focusing on small, seemingly insignificant habits that can build on each other to help us achieve the results we’re looking to see. While there are other books based on building habits, Clear writes a short, clear book on each of the steps of habit building. He doesn’t just focus on how each step can be used to build a positive habit, but how each step in the habit formation process can be used to break a bad one. I guarantee you there is something in this book that will be profitable to you, whether you already have a bunch of good habits or are struggling with bad ones. Side note: This is the #1 selling book on Amazon. Full Stop. Do with that what you will.

Planting a Church Without Losing Your Soul

This book earns the coveted, “So Good I Made My Wife Read It” Award. Planting churches is hard work that individuals can get lost in. It’s not unusual to find people in ministry who have lost the vibrant relationship with Jesus that they had when they started. What made this book great was it’s emphasis on both taking care of your soul and planting a healthy, growing church. While Tim’s church is not a mega-church, they have helped plant multiple churches and ministries. Tim’s not arguing for choosing between taking care of your soul and reaching people. Instead, he leads the reader by his experience how he has been able to do both. In some ways this book was very similar to other devotionally-minded books like “An Unhurried Life,” calling believers to focus on prayer, solitude, and silence. But in other places, he drops gems like the necessity of getting enough sleep. There was even a chapter that encouraged those in ministry to wisely embrace the power God had given them as shepherds to deal with situations that are hurting churches and going unaddressed. All of this made this book well worth the price of entry.

Zero to One

For those of you not familiar with Peter Thiel, Peter was one of the driving forces behind PayPal in its early days. Thiel eventually sold PayPal and has become a known investor in early startups that have changed society. He was an early investor in Facebook, AirBnB, Spotify, and other companies. This book is a transcription of a series of talks he offered at Stanford University. He argues (persuasively) that contrary to public opinion, there are many, many new products on the horizon waiting to be discovered that are more than just a new iteration of the iPhone or a popular app. Thiel compares many in our society to evolutionists who put a little bit of their time, resources, and energy into multiple baskets, hoping one of more will succeed as new iterations our developed. Instead, Thiel argues what the world needs is more “Intelligent Designers” who build with vision and clarity. It’s these people who build what does not exist now, who go from zero to one that will change the culture going forward.

Parenting

This was a surprise late addition to my “Best of” list this year. With probably one last book to complete this year, I picked up Parenting by Paul David Tripp and I was completely surprised by what I found. I will warn you, this book does not give tips on how to get your kids to succeed in life and business. Instead, this is a guidebook on how the Gospel should inform and correct your parenting, how the Gospel brings life and correction to your children, and how you can be an agent of grace in growing godly children. There are no quick fixes promised here, but if you’ve found that just being consistent with rules isn’t changing and maturing your kids like you thought it would, pick up a copy of this book. I found myself repenting for how I’ve treated God, for how I’ve treated my kids, and for what I believed would bring change to their hearts. This is the book on parenting I wish I would have picked up ten years ago. Run, don’t walk, to get yourself a copy.

January

The Courage To Be Disliked / The Biggest Bluff / The Murder on the Links / Necessary Endings

February

Conformity / Live Not By Lies / Do Over / Good Authority / An Unhurried Life

March

True Believer / You Found Me / The Coddling of the American Mind / Defining Moments / The Neil Gaiman at the End of the Universe / None Like Him

April

Brackish Waters / Nikola Tesla and the Electric Future / The Problem of Increasing Human Energy / 10 Things That Stop God Loving You / The Cold Dish / A Time for Confidence / Future Church

May

In the Way / Loonshots / My Inventions / Death Without Company / Posting Peace / The Fearless Organization /

June

Analog Church / The Art of Writing and the Gift of Writers / Beyond Order / The Power of the 72 / The War of Art

July

Faust / On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness / The 7 Day Authors Guide to Amazon Ads / Kindness Goes Unpunished / The 4-Hour Workweek

August

Stand Out of Our Light / Another Man’s Moccasins / Christ the Healer

September

The Nations Rage / Politics (Aristotle) / How to Write Short / Succesful Home Cell Groups / The Souls of Black Folk / Atomic Habits / The Reluctant Witness / The Big Leap

October

Man in White / North! Or Be Eaten / The Dark Horse / Hero Maker / The Mysterious Affair at Styles

November

The Art of Thinking Clearly / Church Planting Without Losing Your Soul / Zero to One / The Multi-Hyphen Life / Well Intentioned Dragons / The Adventures of Tom Sawyer / The Monster in the Hollows / The Starfish and the Spirit / How Africa Shaped the Christian Mind / Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore

December

The Adventure of the Christmas Pudding / Soldiers of Reason / Hell Is Empty / The Science of Storytelling / Parenting

When Paul wrote to the church in Corinth, he could have easily criticized the leaders of the church there for letting the meetings devolve in to chaos in the practice and use of their gifts. Instead, he wrote to the whole church to address the issue (see 1 Corinthains 1:2, 12:1). He expected the whole church to help clean up an issue that they were all making.

Then when he describes how the body should function when they gather, he describes a meeting where many people contribute all for the building up of the body. “When you meet together, one will sing, another will teach, another will tell some special revelation God has given, one will speak in tongues, and another will interpret what is said. But everything that is done must strengthen all of you,” (1 Corinthians 14:26). This is the best description we get of the normal meeting of believers in the New Testament. In fact, it lines up with what the writer of Hebrews describes as the purpose of the church meeting together: encouraging one another (see Hebrews 10:25).

Why is this important for kids? Church was designed to be interactive as the Holy Spirit leads different members of the body. This creates a measure of spontaneity in the body that helps keep kids attention. It also, if done correctly and with the proper coaching of the kids, creates an environment where kids are able to participate with what God is doing instead of being spectators. Too often church has become something they watch instead of something they participate in.

This is the real goal of kids being involved and participating in church: We form our kids as disciples and members of the church from the moment they become followers of Jesus and even before. I remember when my oldest daughter decided to follow Jesus. We had emphasized in our churches the need for baptism as soon as someone decided to follow Christ, so at age four when she decided to follow Jesus, it was time for her to get baptized. She learned the truth about baptism as the next step in following Christ because that’s what she lived through.

But we’re after more than them just observing and learning. We are also after them sharing their gifts with us. As followers of Jesus, indwelt by the Holy Spirit, they have the gifts of the Holy Spirit operating in them just as much as any adult. In fact, they may be more open to Him and His ways than we are. So an interactive church allows for kids to speak up, say what they are hearing from the Lord, pray, speak the word of the Lord, and contribute in a myriad of ways.

We just have to believe that they can and be open to them doing it.

Photo Credit: Man in Black Crew Neck T-Shirt Holding Baby in White and Pink Stripe Onesie by Bermix Studio

Other Posts in the House Churches and Kids Series

House Churches and Kids: An Introduction

House Churches and Kids: Our Story

House Churches and Kids: What We Mean When We Say Church

House Churches and Kids: It’s Not About the Meeting

House Churches and Kids: Church is Family

Jesus was clear about this: “Don’t let anyone call you ‘Rabbi,’ for you have only one teacher, and all of you are equal as brothers and sisters.And don’t address anyone here on earth as ‘Father,’ for only God in heaven is your Father,” (Matthew 23:8-9). Our position before God is not one of roles, but one of love. He loves us as a father and we are to love each other as brothers and sisters.

The apostles continued this teaching in their days. Paul says it this way to the Thessalonians: “As apostles of Christ we certainly had a right to make some demands of you, but instead we were like children among you. Or we were like a mother feeding and caring for her own children. We loved you so much that we shared with you not only God’s Good News but our own lives, too,” (1 Thessalonians 2:7-8). This was the way that Paul lived among those on his ministry team and those he ministered to. He was like a child and, to the extent that he was further along than the new converts, he was like a nursing mother. There were plenty of metaphors Paul could have used, but the ones he chose were deeply family-oriented.

Paul would later write to Timothy in 1 Timothy 3:15 about how people should conduct themselves “in the household of God.” The Greek word for household is oikos and literally is the Greek word describing a family that lives within a house. The Apostle John would also write about how the church was made up of children, young men, and fathers, (1 John 2:12-14) and would write a whole epistle to a woman who was likely the leader of a house church and her dear children who were likely other participants in this gathering (2 John, for more on this statement, reference Chapter 6 of “Stick Your Neck Out“). The more you investigate this topic, the more you begin to see the early church understood themselves as God’s family and operated as such.

Often, we treat the church as a hybrid between a business and a school. There is a message that needs to be communicated and a product that needs to be offered. However, when church is a family, love and care become what drives what happens when we gather. This is why Paul, in the midst of correcting the Corinthians about the excesses in their meetings, spends an entire chapter on the importance of love (1 Corinthians 13). The point wasn’t that everything would be done mechanically, but that everything would be done in love.

I grew up in a family. It wasn’t perfect, but we did love each other. I also grew up in an extended family. My father’s family had five children and each of those children married and had 2 or three kids of their own, so when we gathered together there was always a huge crowd at Grandpa and Grandma’s house. I often relate my experience of church as family back to these times growing up. There was always room for even the youngest of kids to be around. Not every gathering was super structured, but we made allowance for kids to be kids, while still allowing them to participate in the functions of the family gathering.

And I believe the church can be like that if it begins to believe that church is family. Remember, we do teach when we gather, but teaching/preaching isn’t the point. Love is. Remember, Paul said, “while knowledge makes us feel important, it is love that strengthens the church,” (1 Corinthians 8:1).

I have a friend who was briefly a part of the underground church in China. He would often tell stories about what it was like to be a part of their meetings. One of the things that stuck out to me was that there was no child care. The believers would often meet on Sunday mornings for a meeting where everyone would be a part, including the children. Then they would break for a communal meal together. Then, after the meal, the mothers and the small children would take naps together while the men dealt with sensitive affairs of the church. Those of you with small children will understand how important this is.

I believe the church can incorporate children, but it will require the church to become like family again.

Photo Credit: People Standing On Shore During Golden Hour by Tyler Nix

Today I want to talk about a radical concept and how it relates to our children participating in church. Here’s the idea–Church is not about the meeting. This seems like a radical idea because our current version of Christianity is so meeting centric that even house churches have started to believe that its important to protect the meeting. However, if you look at the book of Acts and the rest of the New Testament, the church met together whenever it could, daily (Acts 2:46), day and night (Acts 20:31), and all the more as we see the day of his appearing coming closer.

Church–Christianity–was not a once a week thing for them. It was 24/7/365 experience that enveloped all of the believers’ lives. So yes, the meetings had some intentionality behind them, but they weren’t the only chance people had to see each other, teach each other or encourage one another. It was always going on.

Let me give you a current example. Last night my wife went to meet with group of ladies to talk about the Bible, accountability, and mission. After she got done, I got together with some guys to do the same. Tonight night our house church will gather to eat and share life, but more than likely we’ll pray and encourage each other as well. Friday I’ll meet with a friend to strategize starting another house church. Sunday we’ll gather as a church to celebrate the Lord together. I could go on. The point is, there is more than one point of the week where our lives intersect and we encourage each other, so if the Sunday morning meeting gets interrupted by a cranky 2 year old, it’s not the end of our church.

And this is the point–church exists outside the meeting! In fact at this point a meeting is only a small percentage of the actual church life that is going on in any given week. No one in our house church is paid to produce a sermon or music, so even if someone has a teaching or a song to share, if it get’s interrupted by a noisy kid or two or five, we can share it the next time we’re together.

Why is this so important? We often want to have a babysitter or a program for the kids in place because we think they distract from the planned portion of the meeting. They interrupt the preaching. They mess up worship. They keep us from interacting. But if we lower our expectations for our meetings and raise our expectations for the church to be the church, then our kids really can’t mess anything up. They are just another part of the family with different gifts and needs.

None of this is to say that meetings, teachings, and songs don’t have a place. The New Testament argues that they can and do. I teach, my wife sings songs, and our house churches do have scheduled meetings. We just understand that kids don’t always sit still for 30 or 60 minutes straight. They will make noise, interrupt, and challenge an adult-oriented meeting.

But because house churches operate as families, they have time for those who are weaker and younger than themselves. No family would ever argue that we should have a majority of our time where the little kids are excluded from the family gathering. They would do their best to incorporate the kids from the youngest to the oldest into the family gatherings because it isn’t about the meeting, it’s about the family. The same should be true of the church.

We’ll talk more about what church is and how it impacts kids again tomorrow, but for now, have you noticed a focus on meetings cause frustration with kids? Have you seen this in a house church or in a small group? How have you tackled this issue? Leave a comment and let us know.

Photo Credit: Silhouette of man and woman standing during sunset by Daniel Joshua

Other Posts in the House Churches and Kids Series

House Churches and Kids: An Introduction

House Churches and Kids: Our Story

Hous Churches and Kids: What We Mean When We Say Church

Nowhere does this ring true more than in the realm of children. If the idea of what we mean when we say church is a time of singing we leave feeling really uplifted by, followed by a speech by someone that is designed to inform, confront, admonish, and even convert it’s audience, then children become a difficult part of the equation. If worship and preaching for the benefit of the audience is the highest priority, then kids can be a part of the church meeting but should never interrupt. As the old (and I believe, wrong) saying goes, “Children should be seen and not heard.”

But, if church is more than just a time of singing and speaking for the benefit of an audience, then perhaps incorporating kids in what we do might be a little bit easier than we thought. If church is more than a production, then kids interrupting what we’re doing isn’t such a big deal. Maybe it’s even the point! Understanding what we mean when we say “church” can change the equation for us.

Let’s first talk about what Jesus meant when he said “church.” Believe it or not, Jesus only mentioned the word “church” twice in the Gospels. In Matthew 16:18, Jesus promises that he would build a church that the gates of hell couldn’t win against. This is a primarily symbolic picture of a triumphant church. In Matthew 18:7, Jesus refers to the church as a gathering of believers, larger than two or three people, who a believer could bring another believer before as a final confrontation step. What we learn from this use is that, to Jesus, the church is a group of people.

Throughout the rest of the New Testament, we see the church being mentioned as a people, not a place or a thing. Consider how Luke describes the church in Acts: The church has people added to it (Acts 2:41), is gripped by fear (Acts 5:11), has peace (Acts 9:31), hears (Acts 11:30), is called together (Acts 14:27), decides (Acts 15:4), welcomes (Acts 15:4), has joy (Acts 15:31), and were strengthened (Acts 16:5). All of these references are to the church as a group of people, not a building or event.

Peter emphasizes this strongly in his first epistle. He says in 1 Peter 2:5, “And you are living stones that God is building into his spiritual temple. What’s more, you are his holy priests. Through the mediation of Jesus Christ, you offer spiritual sacrifices that please God.” Later he says, “But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light,” (1 Peter 2:9).

The message is clear. There is a temple in Christianity–one made of people who are fashioned together into a people who bring praise to Jesus. God’s people are a corporate priesthood and a holy nation–a called out people to show God’s goodness.

What does any of this have to do with church or children? Well if church is primarily an event–a combination of sacraments, teaching, and singing–then kids are an obstacle to overcome. If church is a group of people who follow Jesus, though, then the kids who are following Jesus aren’t an obstacle to church–they are a part of church!

So here is the first of many bold statements that I’ll make as we talk through the concept of kids and house churches–Kid’s can’t interrupt church because church isn’t a show. Saying “kids interrupt the church” is like saying “kids interrupt the family.” Kids can interrupt a family conversation or a family song, but they can never interrupt the family. The family was made for kids.

We’ll talk about this more tomorrow, but for now, let’s leave with this thought: If we start with church as a people and not as an event or a show, we can start to re-evaluate the place kids have in a church.

Photo Credit: Photo Credit: City Group O6-07-2017 by Parker Knight

Other Posts in the House Churches and Kids Series

House Churches and Kids: An Introduction

House Churches and Kids: Our Story

Our second year there, we felt called to start a house church of our own within that church. My roommate decided to join us and Christy had just started rooming with a woman named Ana who had four daughters. Ana had recently been through a terrible divorce and had come to Kansas City to recoup and spend time at the house of prayer. Ana and her daughters joined us, along with a number of friends and we became a spiritual family.

What we quickly learned through that experience was that Ana took her daughters with her EVERYWHERE. They were homeschooled, so they could do that, but whenever Ana went somewhere, her daughters were in tow. These girls ranged from the age of 4 to 14, but they were miles ahead of most kids we knew because they gained experience tagging along with their mom. Ana, as we came to find out, was a gifted prophetic individual who could hear the Lord like few other people we knew, and her daughters thought it was the most natural thing on Earth to prophesy just like their mom. The lifestyle was more caught than taught.

These four girls would participate in our house church of 10 to 15 people, but they would also pray and deliver accurate prophetic words at meetings with hundreds of people gathered at them. It was all very normal for them. They also became an important part of our spiritual family and kept things from ever becoming too serious. If you’ve ever heard me talk about the defining moment when I knew I would start house churches, one of Ana’s daughters was the girl who spoke at the retreat I was at that had everyone in tears. We loved these girls.

So, this was our first experience with kids in house churches. We saw young, young kids who modeled what they saw the adults in their lives doing and understood the power of that practice. Ana’s girls thought hearing from the Lord was normal, so they did it too. Ana’s girls participated in the meetings and grew because of what they heard. Ana’s girls became part of our spiritual family. It was what we had hoped would happen with everyone in our house church, but it was happening with the young children.

Fast forward a couple of years and we had moved back to our hometown and started a house church. We started our first house church with friends that we had made since we had come back from Kansas City, and like most organic things, these people were mostly in the same stage of life as Christy and I were. They were young, recently married, and each had one small child. I specifically remember the small line of car seats we had parked in my living room during those early meetings. It was kind of cute back then and none of us thought much of it because we all had one kid that was fairly immobile at the time. Our biggest difficult was making sure each of them got a good nap sometime while we were meeting.

What we couldn’t know then was that we would continue to attract primarily people in the same stage of life as us. More young families with young children. What we also didn’t know was that, while we weren’t quite “full quiver” people, we all ended up having more kids than we expected. As the years would go by, it wouldn’t be unusual for the families in our house churches to have four or five children. I remember specifically one point in one of our house churches where we had twenty kids between five families. It’s definitely not unusual to have more kids in our house church than we have adults!

Now, we didn’t plan to end up here. We actually had hoped that our house churches would become intergenerational and that we’d have a chance to learn from older saints who had gone before us on raising kids, integrating them into the life of the church, and following Jesus in general. We prayed and fasted for believers in their 40’s and above to come be a part in what we were doing, but they never came.

Instead, we set about the hard task of figuring out how to raise our children in the participatory atmosphere of a house church. We had to figure out how to navigate meltdowns of children while we sang. We had to figure out whether to let other adults in our house church discipline our kids. We had to figure out how to parent in a spiritual family when different members of that spiritual family had different values and priorities that we did.

The interesting thing was there was no map. As I said yesterday, there was no how-to book or article written as a guide to instruct us. We had to do the best we could with a little advice here and there from our parents, other believers we respected, and the parenting books we were reading. We kept trying to involve the kids in the life of the church at the same time to see how that would work. Every couple of years, we would stop what we were doing, have a discussion about what was working and what wasn’t, and start over with the best of what worked and a couple of new ideas.

Fourteen years later, here we are. We’ve learned a few things about what works and what doesn’t. There’s still a lot more to learn. But we’re getting to the place where some of our oldest children are approaching that season where they leave the nest. They’re still young, but they are becoming a real part of our church. They are learning to follow Jesus. I would put my kids’ knowledge of the Bible up against many adults’. Most importantly, they love Jesus.

Much of what will follow is from the press of these years. We’ll talk about what has worked for us and what we think we could have done better. But none of it is theory. It’s real life experience and trial and error that has born fruit. I hope it helps you and the house church you’re part of grow spiritually and numerically.

What about you? Do you have kids in your house church? How has that process been? What has worked and what hasn’t? Let me know in the comments below.

Photo Credit: Man in White Shirt Carrying Girl in Gray Shirt by Nathan Dumlao

Other Posts in the House Churches and Kids Series

House Churches and Kids: An Introduction

“What do you do with the kids and the money?”

This question comes up because I’ve already spent a lot of time talking about the dramatic shift that happens when you stop seeing church as an event or a place. I’ve also stared to encourage those listening to see church as a people separated to God who live together and encourage each other to move the Gospel forward. By now we’ve talked about discipleship, accountability, meetings, the Holy Spirit, community, and a whole host of topics. So when we get done talking about how things are different in so many other areas, the implications of these ideas start to hit those who have been really listening.

“Does this mean no more kids church?”

“Where will my kids go if they don’t go to the nursery?”

“What kind of meetings will we have if the kids are part of them?”

“Will I be able to keep my kid quiet during the meeting or will he or she be a giant distraction?”

“How will we be able to learn and grow if we’re constantly having to watch our kids?”

The list can go on. This is a giant stumbling block for parents of young children who are considering joining a house church. Sometimes the thought of their kids and what programs will be available for them weighs on their minds. Other times the idea of missing the break that church provides can be a consideration. The barrier to entry can seem high.

This problem doesn’t get any better in the house church circles that I’ve been involved in. Many of them are filled with older believers whose kids have left the home or singles who don’t have the obligation for children. Those that do have children usually have a handful and they’re doing their best to incorporate these kids, but they sometimes feel like an afterthought to the rest of the church’s life.

Surprisingly, there is very little house church literature devoted to this topic. I’ve read a lot of books on house churches (and I do mean A LOT) and it’s not unusual to have a book of 200 or 300 pages give two pages to the topic with some light thoughts that don’t really address the day-in, day-out struggle of participating in house churches with children.

This is a shame because there is a significant amount of growth that can come, both numerically and spiritually, when house churches learn how to steward the children that make up their body. The Psalms tell us that children are a blessing from the Lord and like arrows in the hand of young man. If we wisely love, grow, and challenge the kids in our midst, we’ll find that like arrows, they will go out and accomplish what we couldn’t on our own.

So over the next days (and probably weeks) I’m going to be writing on how house churches can incorporate children into the life of the church. This is bigger (and more important) than just incorporating them into a meeting, but it will include how and why we need to incorporate them into the meetings of your church. We’ll discover that often we’ve neglected the very arrows the Lord has been giving us for the fights we’ll face in the future.

If you are part of a house church, stay tuned. You’ll find not just good theology, but also practical advise for how to involve kids in ways that will grow you and the kids that are part of your body. If you know someone who is part of a house church, invite them to follow along. Lastly, if you are not part of a house church, you can stick around, too. You’ll find lots of truth here that will help you interact with the children in your life and grow them closer to Jesus.

It’ll be fun. I promise!

Photo Credit: Five Children Smiling Doing Peace Hand Sign by Larm Rmah

“The helping of the wretched, and the saving them out of the earthly, hellish conditions in which such multitudes live, and the saving of souls of the people in larger numbers, and the organizing them when they are saved for still further victories, is the dream of almost every hour of my life.”

-William Booth

Photo Credit: “26 October 2005” from The Savlation Army: UK & Ireland.

For the last several years I’ve been focusing most of my time and attention in the inner city neighborhood I live in. I’ve also been pretty direct about working with people that don’t darken the doors of a church building. To be clear, there are plenty of hard-working, decent people where I live. However, there is also a fair number of people with lives that are a mess. The homeless, the drug-addict, the sex-addict, the attention-addict. The list goes on. These are the people Jesus would hang out with. But they are also not the safest people in the world to minister to.

And for the last several years, I’ve also been fairly forward about calling people to live their lives down here with us. Coming into the neighborhood, dropping the Gospel, and then leaving wasn’t going to work. Come, be a part of the neighborhood. Learn how to interact with people who have no interest in your church. Come share the Gospel here. Come make disciples here. Come live here. Give your lives.

This week we had our first real brush with danger. We probably should have expected it but things like this, however, when it came it came unexpectedly.

My wife and her friend Jamie have been meeting for the past couple of months as a two and three. They could meet in our kitchen or at the Panera across town. But Christy and Jamie have chosen to meet at the McDonald’s because that’s where people in our neighborhood gather. This night went much like any other. As they left, they were approached by a man walking towards the door they were exiting. This man walked straight up to Jamie, punched her right above her right eye knocking her down to the ground, and kept right on walking. As if this situation wasn’t bad enough, Jamie was 9 months pregnant. The assaulter has not been found.

Now, for the most part, this situation has worked out as best as it could have. Jamie, aside from some bruising is physically okay. I say she was nine months pregnant because yesterday she gave birth to a very healthy baby boy. But I would be lying if I didn’t say that it didn’t rattle all of us. It rattled Jamie. It rattled her husband Mark who had to face the helplessness of not being there to defend his wife. It rattled Christy, who had to witness this event. It rattled me. It rattled our church.

And for me, at least right now, the thing that is most clear about this situation is that I’ve been the one encouraging my house church to embark on this kind of dangerous mission. Christy and Jamie wouldn’t have been at that McDonald’s on a weeknight in a somewhat dangerous neighborhood if I hadn’t been calling people to embody the Gospel here. So in some weird sense, I feel somewhat responsible for this happening. Could I have anticipated it this week? No. Could I have stopped it? No. But have I been asking people to do something dangerous? Yes.

And all of this has made one thing very clear: Jesus did not call people to do safe things. Of the twelve apostles that existed on the day of Pentecost, only one of them (John) didn’t die from persecution. And even then Domitian the Roman Emperor tried to boil him oil. Countless others have been lost over the course of the church history as they’ve tried to bring the Gospel to people who didn’t have it. In other places in the world, becoming a follower of Jesus is a death sentence. Its only in the West we are fairly inexperienced at loosing anything for our faith.

It’s important to be very clear: What we do is not safe. I’m not calling people to do something that has no risk. In fact, what I’m calling people to do is something dangerous. I’m asking people to stick out their neck–to place everything they have on the line for Jesus because he placed everything He had on the line for us. I’m calling people to danger and this week the implications of that is really real.

I used to think calling people to do something dangerous was the cool thing to do. We get to do something others aren’t willing to do. But this week has changed that for me. It’s made it doing something dangerous real. It’s put a tangible price on what could possibly happen to me and some of the people I care about the most. And while I don’t like the price that it may cost, I’m willing to pay that cost to continue to follow Jesus.

Why you ask? Why would we do dangerous (but not unwise) things in order to follow Him? Well I’m glad you asked. We’ve become convinced that knowing Jesus is better than anything else this world has to offer–even the physical safety of ourselves and our loved ones. We love Jesus more than we love everyone around us, including ourselves. And it’s this love…this love for Him born out of gratefulness for what He sacrificed for us…that compels us. We want to share everything we have with Him and be made to look like Him, even if that means some day dying like He died. We believe Jesus and His resurrection is real.

And that is why we embrace the lifestyle we do. And its why I invite others into it. Not because I don’t see the dangers. I do. But I also see the great reward stored up for those who are unashamed to lay down their lives for Jesus.

“If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it.” -Mark 8:35

Photo Credit: Red and White Stop Road Sign Photo by Edwin Hooper

We Communists have a high casualty rate. We are the ones who get shot and hung and ridiculed and fired from our jobs and in every other way made as uncomfortable as possible.

A certain percentage of us get killed or imprisoned. We live in virtual poverty. We turn back to the party every penny we make above what is absolutely necessary to keep us alive.

We Communists do not have the time or the money for movies, concerts, T-bone steaks, decent homes, or new cars. We have been described as fanatics. We are fanatics. Our lives are dominated by one great overshadowing factor: the struggle for world communism. We Communists have a philosophy of life, which no amount of money can buy. We have a cause to fight for, a definite purpose in life. We subordinate our petty personal selves to a greater movement of humanity.

And if our personal lives seem hard our our egos appear to suffer through subordination to the Party, then we are adequately compensated by the thought that each of us in his small way is contributing to something new and true and better for mankind.

There is one thing that I am in dead earnest about, and that is the Communist cause. It is my life, my business, my religion, my hobby, my sweetheart, my wife, my mistress, and my bread and meat. I work at it in the daytime and dream of it at night. Its hold on me grows, not lessens, as time goes on. Therefore, I cannot carry on a friendship, a love affair, or even a conversation without relating it to this force which both drives and guides my life. I evaluate people, books, ideas, and actions according to how they affect the Communist cause, and by their attitude toward it.  I’ve already been in jail because of my ideals, and if necessary, I’m ready to go before a firing squad.¹