Treading Raging Waters

She was just horsing around!

2015-05-30T06:39:00.000-07:00

Unless you're new to ~~Facebook~~ the internet, you are bound to have seen this picture floating around.

Yep, that's me.

Now, what I'm about to tell you may blow your mind. Are you sitting down? Ready for this?

It was satire.

Crazy, huh?

You can now breathe a sigh of relief that there really aren't people out there like that, right? Well, there probably are people like that, but there's one less than you originally thought, so yay for humanity!

Now, you may be wondering who on earth could come up with something so off the wall and why? WHY would someone make something up like that? Am I right or am I right? If you're half as smart as my boyfriend, you know I'm always right ;)

Well, because I get questioned DAILY about this, I've decided to go ahead and compile a list of things most frequently asked.

1. I've read a few places that it was satire.

Can you explain?

Sure! A lot of my friends know me as a "Facebook troll." I post things in private groups just to get a rise out of people who don't know we're joking. Sounds pretty lame, huh? Well, you try being a puppet while children hold the strings and see what little things amuse you when you have no social life. My kids tell everyone that mommy's friends live in the computer. ~~Is it that obvious?~~ I don't know where they'd come up with something so absurd!

(Believe me, there's much more to me than trolling and most people in these groups have seen a very real side of me.Surprisingly, i know when to be serious and supportive as well.)

2. But satire is supposed to prove a point, right?

Yep!

And it did. You see, when I originally posted it, I was in a Facebook group called Mama Talk Uncensored where women there would use the excuse "my child, my choice" to justify shitty parenting. Now, I'm usually not one to judge and I've come a really long way from when I did, but some of the things they'd say they did and call it "parenting" was downright abusive or neglectful. (By the way, if you're looking for a fun Facebook group, DO NOT go to MTU. Try Mommy Wars instead, if you think you have the backbone for it. Don't say I didn't warn you! If you're looking for something with ~~a bunch of upright hypocritical assholes~~ a little different vibe, try MTU)

So ~~being an asshole~~ troll posts happened. The point of these satirical "troll" posts were to make these people realize how dumb they sounded. Of course, riling people up who really believe you're serious is half the fun.

3. What was the initial reaction?

Well, most people in the group knew me already ~~because I'm awesome~~ from similar posts I've made so they play along. The new people are where it gets funny. Apparently "my horse, my choice" caused a huge uproar. Who would have thought?

4. When was the original post made?

June 30th (2014), give or take a day. It's been less than a year and it's gotten around more than ~~Malaysian Airlines~~ uh, things that don't get around.

5. Have your friends and family seen it?

~~No, they live in a bubble~~. OF COURSE THEY'VE SEEN IT! Really, who hasn't? I am from small town Texas where only recently was high speed internet discovered and we all went to school in a one room school house (okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little) and yes, they have all seen it! It's been spread all over local pages too. I'm kinda a big deal, ya know? Really though, most of my friends are so unaware of the concept of trolling that I got messages from the majority asking me if I'd seen it and if I knew who I made mad enough to steal my pictures.

6. Were you embarrassed?

~~Psssh me, nah, I'm too cool to get embarrassed.~~ Yes, yes I was. Within 24 hours, I had seen my post on multiple large facebook fan pages and spread to parenting groups. Within 5 days, it was on Closer Magazine's facebook page and their e-magazine. To say I was mortified is an understatement. I quickly deactivated my page and stayed off of Facebook for about a week hoping it would blow over.

It didn't. I began getting dozens of messages daily asking me about it. I got burnt out and exhausted trying to explain what happened to everyone who asked. Even when I'd go out into public, I felt like anyone who looked at me had seen it and was silently judging. It was EVERYWHERE: WTF magazine, Buzzfeed, Babycenter, Facebook, local news pages, even police scanner sites.

7. So what did you do?

I questioned myself why I was letting something get to me that I thought was hilarious just a week prior? I thought it was funny when only a thousand people had seen it, so why was it any less funny that millions had? I decided to play along and stop caring. I even made new posts pretending I had the "baby" already.

8. How far along were you really in those pictures?

12 weeks. That part wasn't made up. It was funny to read comments on all of the viral posts where people tried explaining to me why I looked like ~~a beached whale~~ I was further along. I got everything from "twins" to "she cheated on her husband" or "she's obviously too stupid to figure out how reproduction works."

Bingo. I'm an idiot. That's totally it.

Of course there were some people who gave me hope for humanity with their comments on how it had to be fake because the grammar and syntax were too good haha!

But yes, 12 weeks on the dot when I took the picture at the end of June, which gave me a due date of January 15th.

9. So, uh...are you sure you didn't really do it?

Well...

Of course not, why would you even ask that!? When I make troll posts, I come up with the most off the wall topics I can think of, and then just to be sure that I can prove it was made up, I make the facts impossible. 1. There was no "husband." I was ~~a promiscuous hussy having premarital sex~~ not married at the time. 2. I don't own a horse, never have owned a horse. To be honest, I'm TERRIFIED of horses. Don't get me wrong; they're beautiful creatures and all, but just don't let them get close to me. Oh and 3. Big shocker here: I'm not dumb enough to believe that a human and an animal could ever procreate; I know how reproduction works. I'm obviously quite good at it since this was baby #4 ;)

10. Do you regret it?

Yes. So very much. I regret that I took the picture looking like a mess in my pj's. I regret that my hair was thrown up in a messy bun to avoid the back-splash of 2 am morning sickness vomit. I regret that I didn't smile. I mean, just look at that picture. Had I gotten the chance to do it all over again, knowing that it would go viral, I would have at least dolled myself up a bit and looked good for the world.

Seriously though, no, I don't regret it. The post was hilarious. It's a great conversation starter and not many people can say that they "punk'd" the world. Take that Ashton Kutcher!

11. But what if your kids see it?

Then uhhhh, they see it? So what? I'm not quite sure why so many people ask this. Growing up in this house, my kids are bound to have the same sense of humor as I do, ~~or at least they better if they want to survive their teen years~~. They've already got sarcasm down and are witty to boot! I'm pretty sure I know them better than anyone on the internet and believe me, they'll fare just fine when they find out about it.

I am actually kind of looking forward to them being old enough that we can laugh together and I can tell them the REAL reason Bob and I nicknamed their baby brother "foalie."

*Bonus question*

What do you mean by "no judging especially if you live in Arkansas?"

If you haven't figured that one out yet, then you're on your own! I will admit that I got a kick out of how many people got upset about that line.

So, without further ado, I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family:

Cohen Grey

"Foalie"

born in the ~~stable~~ shower at home January 18th, 2015

He's quite the handsome man for being a hybrid, huh?

Okay, really though...

Lap Rockets

2012-08-09T00:34:00.002-07:00

Most, if not all, airlines allow children under the age of 2 to fly for free if they are seated with an adult. The term for these children is "lap baby."

It's easy to see how one would assume that since it is allowed, it is safe.

But it's not.

There is nothing magical about the age 2 that makes your child suddenly need to be properly restrained. ALL children should be restrained by a car seat at all times in a moving vehicle: bus, plane, or car/taxi.

The FAA even recommends that all children under 40lbs use a car seat:

(These are the bare minimums. The law of physics doesn't stop just because you are 30,000 feet in the air. You can always rearface your 20lb+ child)

When faced with a decision on whether or not to buy an infant his own ticket on the airplane, the majority of parents I have spoken to responded with something along the lines of:

"If the plane crashes, a car seat won't save him"

"Plane crashes are extremely rare- traveling by plane is much safer than by car"

These are both true. If a plane drops out of the sky at an altitude of 30,000 feet, everyone will be dead. Luckily, this is extremely rare.

However, runway crashes, turbulence, and hard landings are NOT rare, and they CAN and will kill a child not in a safety seat.

If you think your child needs to be restrained in a car traveling 25mph, but not in an airplane taking off at 180mph, then you my friend...are a hypocrite.

A runway crash or extreme turbulence is the same as a car crash, except going up to 5-6x faster. At 180mph, your "lap child" becomes your own personal airbag, IF you are lucky. Otherwise, they become a projectile flying through the cabin. Your 25lb toddler, at 180mph, has 4500lbs of force to them. Any person they hit is more than likely to be killed instantly, in addition to being fatal to themselves.

During a flight, there is only one thing not required to be properly restrained.

Can you figure out which one??

It's actually none of these. You see, the only thing on a plane not required to be properly restrained is:

A child under the age of 2.

Pretty sad that a pot of coffee and a bag of airline snacks has more priority than your child. Every single person on a plane must be buckled, every item: laptops, plane trays, food carts, carry-on luggage etc MUST be properly restrained during take off, landing, and when there are any signs of turbulence...but a CHILD, a delicate, fragile CHILD can be left to sit in a lap.

Makes sense now, doesn't it? **sarcasm**

Turbulence can occur at any time during a flight without warning. It can be severe enough that people, food carts and unsecured luggage are thrown several rows, hit the ceilings, or other passengers. Because of this, unless you are using the rest room, you should always fasten your seatbelt and your child should *ALWAYS* be in the their car seat.

In the off chance that your child survives being thrown around like a rag doll when the airplane hits unexpected turbulence or a hard emergency landing and the plane is evacuated, it can be difficult to find your child during the mass hysteria. Your child could also be trampled if vision is impaired due to the cabin being filled with smoke.

Is this risk really worth the cost of a plane ticket?

Should your child not be given the same priority as you are, in terms of safety?

If this wasn't enough to change your mind....

Things to remember when flying with a child:

1. IT'S EASIER TO PURCHASE A TICKET! Sit on a couch for two hours holding your child. Only get up to use the bathroom, and make sure to take your child with you when you do. Try drinking from an open cup with nowhere to set the drink down (because you can't use a tray with a lap child). Now try sitting on the couch with your child near you in a bouncer, exersaucer etc. When the child is asleep, you have time for yourself and can relax a little bit. You can get up and use the restroom in peace. Which sounds more pleasant?

2. CHECKING YOUR CAR SEAT AS LUGGAGE IS THE SAME AS CRASHING YOUR CAR WITH IT INSTALLED. I'll assume you've already read my blogs about crashed car seats so I'll elaborate on it. Luggage handlers do not care about your property. Most things get thrown to and from the conveyor belts to the plane. Not to mention, if the flight experiences turbulence, your car seat is being thrown around with the rest of the luggage, completely unrestrained. Since you will never know exactly what type of treatment your car seat has received, a "checked" car seat should always be considered "crashed." You don't want to wait til you are in an actual wreck and the car seat fails to protect your child, to realize it was unsafe.

3. LUGGAGE GETS LOST ALL THE TIME. Imagine if you did check your car seat instead of installing it on the plane. You get to your destination and the seat doesn't come around the baggage claim conveyor. You can't legally leave the airport now...so what do you do?

4. EACH PASSENGER IS ALLOWED BAGGAGE. Just another perk to purchasing your child his/her own seat. No more cramming everybody's stuff into one suitcase.

5. IF AFTER READING THIS BLOG, YOU STILL THINK THAT IT'S WORTH THE RISK RISK TO YOUR CHILD TO BE A LAP-ROCKET, REMEMBER IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU. If your child becomes a projectile during a flight or hard landing, and manages to hurt or kill another person....let's just say that a $200 plane ticket is pocket change relative to how much you are going to be spending in court costs, law suits, etc. Be prepared to give up your house, your car, basically every little thing you own. Still worth it?

6. AIRLINES WILL WORK WITH YOU. So you've booked the flight and your family is ready to go, then you read this and realize you want your child to have their own seat but you just can't afford it. Call the airline. I can't stress that enough. 9 times out of 10 if you explain the situation, they will give an extra ticket at a steep discount, or even free. No airline wants to see a lap rocket on their plane, they will do whatever it takes for everyone on the flight to be safe.

*********************************************************************

I cannot count how many times I tried to explain the dangers of lap-rockets to somebody and they said they just couldn't afford another ticket. Is your child's life really not worth an extra couple hundred dollars??

If you cannot afford a ticket for each passenger, then drive, or don't go at all.

Please do not compromise your child's safety over something so trivial.

**********************************************************************

And the million dollar question:

WHY are lap-babies still legal if it's so unsafe? (Because that's the logic here in America...it's legal so it must be safe)

The answer?

MONEY

MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY

Although the NTSB is pushing to make lap rockets (as they refer to them) illegal, it's a long road ahead. Airlines will lose too much money because less people will choose to fly places. In a time where many airlines have gone bankrupt and needed bailouts, they can't afford to lose any more business. Like stated above, the FAA does recommend all children be secured in their own seats. It shouldn't have to be a law for parents to make their child's safety a priority.

Even if you don't read this entire post, please watch this video and think hard about your seating arrangements for your family's next flight.

Shopping with a baby!

2012-06-01T00:56:00.000-07:00

Meet Bob.

Bob is a shopping cart that LOVES to help out with your trip to the grocery store. See how happy it makes him??

The only things Bob loves more than shopping...are BABIES!!

Bob is super excited to help this family get groceries...but wait, what is this...?? Bob is not happy...

You see, Bob took a class on car seat safety. He knows that putting an infant carrier on the top of shopping cart can be very VERY dangerous.

Bob has heard every excuse in the book as to why people put their infant carriers in the top of the shopping cart, even when they have been told time and time again that it was unsafe.

Bob also knows that anecdotal evidence doesn't get you very far in life. Just because somewhere down the line, somebody survived this

it doesn't make their choices any less idiotic and it DOES NOT mean that it's a good idea for you to do it as well.

So...without further ado, let's go over some reasons why putting a carrier in the top of a cart is not a safe choice.

Reason #1

Strollers and infant car seat bases are made so that when they are holding a car seat, the recline angle is between 30 and 45 degrees so that the baby A. is upright enough to be protected in a car accident and B. not too upright that it obstructs their ability to breathe.

(Humor me/use your imagination, do whatever it takes to pretend this looks like a car seat)

However, if I had a dime for how many times I was walking through the grocery store and saw this...

well, I'd have a lot of dimes. When the carrier is not at a correct recline angle, the baby's oxygen can be cut off if they are in the carrier for a prolonged period.

**DISCLAIMER** If you don't see anything wrong with the above picture, stop what you are doing, go sit on the couch, prop your legs up on the back cushions and lean back to watch tv for the next hour...then come back and let me know how you feel and how easy it was for you to breathe.

Reason #2

Having an infant seat on the top of the cart makes it top heavy. Something as simple as rounding a corner too quickly can flip the entire shopping cart over.

Reason #3

While it's already hard to see what is in front of you when you are pushing a shopping cart, adding an infant car seat that sticks up an extra 12+ inches makes it impossible. You never know what you'll run into or run over when your view is obstructed.

You did it now...you killed Kenny. (while I have never seen South park myself, it was re-enacted one too many times in middle school so it is now permanently etched in my head)

Reason #4

Even if your car seat appears to click (because I hear that all the time... "well mine fits, it even latches on"), it was not made to be up there, it was only made to "click" onto a stroller or car seat base. A small jolt is sometimes enough to un-latch it from the cart and have the entire carrier flip over onto the floor in a matter of seconds. See a real example here.

Reason #5

Since it was NOT made to fit on a cart, trying to get it to latch on anyway could damage the mechanism that makes it attach to your car seat base. You won't notice that it is defective it until you are flying down the highway and get into a wreck and your child's seat is ejected through the front windshield. However, by then it will be too late.

(pretty self explanatory, I'll spare you yet another of my beautiful drawings)

Reason #6

.Every car seat manufacturer specifically says NOT to do it, so why not listen?

So...let's recap.

Regardless of who has done it and who's kids "were fine," when they did it, doesn't mean it's safe. That's skewed logic.

You could potentially be setting up your child to have a difficult time breathing during your trip to the grocery store.

Your cart becomes top heavy, it could flip!

A car seat never actually latches on to a cart.

You could damage the latching mechanism and not find out until the seat doesn't perform in crash.

All car seat manufacturers warn against it.

So...what are your other options?

Put your baby's car seat IN THE CART, not ON IT. This is a sure fire way to make Bob super happy!

OR (my personal favorite)

You can always wear your baby!

8 more DEADLY Car Seat Mistakes

2012-03-01T22:56:00.019-08:00

I'm going to start this one off by just saying how completely amazed I am by the response to this blog. It all started off with a couple of people in a Facebook group tossing around ideas about how a post should be made to help them approach their friends about their car seat use, in a non-confrontational way.

I expected to see 10-20 views of the blog and that would have made me extremely happy, but when I logged in tonight to nearly 10,000 page hits, I was shocked! Never in a million years did I think I'd see the day.

Of course, since it has become so widely distributed in such a short period of time, I have gotten numerous emails and comments about how I "should have included ______" and "why did you leave out ______." So again, I'll explain, it was never ever intended to be read by thousands of people (not that I am complaining-keep on spreading the word and save some babies!) The one complain that I have heard the most is that I didn't even touch the subject of extended rear facing sooooo if you were one of those people, the reason was that for the few friends I wrote this for, all of them already rear face past a year, it wasn't even worth the time to explain because it was common knowledge, and I like I said, I had no clue anyone else would ever read this.

Now that I realize that people are watching however, I decided to create a second part to the original, so that I can include all of the things I initially didn't have time for.

If you are just tuning in, go ahead and check out the original first here: 11 Deadly Mistakes You Didn't Know You Were Making or if you are looking for a condensed version to share with your friends that are usually put off by your excessive informative article sharing (believe me, I do it!) this may be a better fit for you/them: Car Seat Safety For the Minimalist And for anyone who thinks of something I have missed, feel free to comment or email me at candicekellie@gmail.com and I'll gladly add it in.

Lastly, like I mentioned, this was/is my personal blog as well, which is why the music is on autoplay. If it interferes with you reading the post, or hearing the audio in the videos, scroll to the very bottom and you can pause it :)

So here it is:

8 more DEADLY mistakes you didn't know you were making!

#8 Forward Facing Too Early

Before we get started, yes I understand the law states you can turn your child forward facing at age 1 or 20lbs/1 and 20lbs (depending on where you live). I know many people who have said "If it weren't safe, it wouldn't be legal!" Just because it is legal, do you really think it is safe? Cigarettes and alcohol are both legal, so that is a bad argument. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends rear facing until AT LEAST the age of 2- "at least" being the key words.

Studies have shown that extended rear facing is FIVE times safer in the majority of auto accidents (that’s 500%). When a child is rear facing, the seat absorbs most of the crash forces. The seat distributes the force of the crash over the entire body which helps protect the head, neck, and spine of your child. When a child is forward facing in an accident, the head abruptly moves forward and this puts stress on their neck and spine and in even some minor crashes, the spinal column can stretch too far and snap, causing death.

Extended rear facing does not mean cramming your child into an infant carrier. There are many options out there for a convertible car seat that will allow your child to rear face well into the toddler years, and comfortably at that!

Common misconceptions about rear facing a toddler:

-“My toddler has really long legs so he will be uncomfortable.” or "My child is too big"

These are both untrue in most cases. Young children are flexible and they easily position themselves to be comfortable. They simply bend their legs, prop them up on the back seat, dangle them over the sides or sit cross legged. ALL of these are comfortable for a child. Don't believe me? Call your child over to you and tell them to have a seat. I can guarantee you that the majority of children will not come and sit with their legs straight out in front of them, so why should they sit that way in a car seat. Did you know that forward facing for too long (road trips etc) can actually cut off their circulation, so not only making it uncomfortable, but painful too?
-“If they have long legs couldn’t they break in a crash if they are rear faced?”
Yes, although unlikely, their legs could possibly break, but as of now, there are ZERO documented cases of broken legs, hips, feet etc due to rear facing. Studies actually show that forward facing kids are more likely to injure their legs in a crash from being thrown forward into the seat in front of them. Either way, broken legs-cast it...broken neck-casket. Which would you prefer?
-“My child cries too much, she isn't happy if she can't see me"
While I understand it may be frustrating, your main focus should always be on driving and not trying to keep your child happy. She may be upset, but at least you know she is safe. If you turned her forward facing, she may be happy for a little while, but soon the excitement will wear off and she will still be crying every time she gets in the car. It's not rear facing they hate (especially when they don't know anything else), it's being strapped down.
"My parents did it and I lived"
You're right...congrats. Now, tell me how many people in the world cannot say that because...well, they aren't alive to say it. There are people who can say that they swam in shark-infested waters with steaks tied around their extremities and they lived...but I don't think I'd recommend it for everyone else to do.
There are many, many more excuses I have heard as to why parents don't rear face their children past the bare minimum, but it all boils down to just that: they are excuses. Not one is valid. If you really think you have a good reason not to, feel free to comment on here and I will address each one individually.

Kaylee at 14.5 months and 22lbs, rear facing in a Radian XTSL. She is completely content and her legs do not even touch the seat. She will easily fit in this seat beyond 2 years.

I found the shortest, straight to the point videos I can find so as not to lose your interest. Here is a forward vs rear facing video:

Here is a short clip of a forward facing crash test

And here is a rear facing crash test clip

#7 Not knowing when your child REALLY outgrows their rear facing seat.

1 inch.
1 inch from the top of the shell is a rule of thumb for the majority of infant seats.

What does that mean?

If your child's seat is one of those and his head is hanging over PAST the top of his car seat (while rear facing), he has outgrown it. If his head is flush with the top of his car seat (while rear facing), he has outgrown it. His must not extend past 1 inch from the top of the seat. This inch ensures that as the child slides up the seat in a crash, his head will stay protected.

Now, there are some seats (more often than not, they are convertibles that have a specific height limit. Diono brand seats use a 1.5" rules as opposed to one inch. To determine what the guidelines are for your seat, always consult the manual.

Now this doesn't always mean you need to forward face, especially if your child is just tall. There are many other options in the store and you can always go and let your child sit in each one to see how long the seat will last you, before you purchase it. Given the design of most car seats, the majority of children become too tall for rear-facing seats before they become too heavy. If you have tall children, keep that in mind when looking for new seats, and always try to get one that has a taller shell height. If you need any help with car seat recommendations, shoot me an email or post a comment. If I don't have the answer for you, I'll get you in touch with someone that does.

#6 Car seats do NOT belong on a shopping cart

Every time I tell a group of friends this, one person inevitably says "oh I wouldn't do it if I didn't know it was perfectly safe, but mine snaps on perfectly"

No...it doesn't.

Every infant car seat manual, I repeat, EVERY infant car seat manual says not to attach it to a shopping cart.

***EDIT*** I was informed that Babytrend does allow you to use their car seat on a cart *if it locks on* Sadly, I checked it and their manual does say this. However, we owned a flex-loc with my youngest daughter and on numerous occasions, before we knew better, we tried to put the seat on top of carts (Wal-mart and Target) and even when it was locked onto the cart, a simple jolt was enough to unlatch it. Looks like I will be making a call to Baby Trend today because in my opinion, they should not be encouraging something that is potentially very dangerous.

But if it appears to snap on, then what's the big deal? The problem lies in the fact that something as simple as a child running around the store and bumping into your cart and that car seat that you THOUGHT was latched on, can cause your baby (and seat) to be upside down on the concrete floor in a split second. Studies show over 80% of all car seat/shopping cart accidents happen within an arm's reach of the carrier so the "I always am RIGHT THERE" line just doesn't work.

Car seats are meant to latch onto 2 things: the base or the stroller. NOTHING ELSE. Each of these has a special bar, that matches up with that exact car seat type.

Each year, over 21,000 injuries occur because of babies falling out of the cart. Please don't let your child be a statistic. There are other solutions: baby wearing, leaving baby with another person while you shop, or put the entire carrier inside the cart if you must, not ON it.

#5 Projectiles can KILL your child...or you!

Reposted from "The Guggie Daily" Facebook page

Basically, if it wouldn't be safe to throw an item at your child's face with all of your strength (not saying you have to try it out), it should not be left unsecured in your vehicle. A trunk, a glove compartment, a center console: these all can store the things you think you need to take with you on a trip. Stuff the diaper bag under the seat.

You may not think a cell phone could do that much damage. The weight of an object, multiplied by the speed at which you're traveling equals the force at which that item would hit something if your car comes to a sudden stop (like hitting something head on). What does an average cell phone weigh these days? 6oz? So you take 6oz and multiply it by the speed you are traveling...let's say, 45mph? 6 x 45 is 270. 270oz or about 17lbs. Would you ever consider throwing a 17lb object at your child?

Read JD's story

Time to go clean out the car!

#4 Infant carrier postion handle does matter.

A lot of people believe that the carrier handle must always be down in the car.
Even more people believe that the carrier handle can be in "carry" position.

They are both right.
And they are both wrong...
depending on the car seat each person has.

Consult this chart (or your manual) for your safe travel handle positions- each manufacturer has different rules, based on what has been crash tested to be safe. Usually, if a car seat has a reinforced handle, the manufacturer allows for it to be in any position.

This is the most current chart in circulation but it is always a good idea to check your manual:

#3 Car seat installation MUST BE TIGHT

Deja Vu?

Nope, I just figured it was important enough to repeat.

Depending on which study you quote, anywhere from 80-99% of car seats are installed incorrectly.

Remember, no more than an inch of movement side to side at the base. (Chances are if you grab the top of the seat, it will move more, but we are concerned about the base here)

#2 Moving to a booster too early is a step down in safety!

Provided that your child does not exceed weight limits, and their straps come out above their shoulder level, they should remain in a 5 point harness. Basically, if they fit in a 5-point harness, there is no reasoning to "graduating" them to a booster.

Without any words at all, this video speaks very loudly

Many car seats accommodate older children in a 5pt harness for a longer than average time.

This harness could stand to be moved up 1/2 an inch or so, but it was only for picture purposes.
This is Avery, she will be 7 in April. She weighs 45lbs, is 46inches, and still has 1 more slot to go (so another couple of inches of growth) before she outgrows her 5-point harness. (Recaro ProSport combination seat)

A lot of 5 point harnesses offer more side impact protection than boosters, especially backless boosters which is a given. Does your child have a tendency to lean over and poke their brother? Reach to the ground to get toys? Fall asleep? If your child does not possess the ability to stay upright and with the belt positioned correctly at all times, it is safer to stay in a 5 point harness.

#1 Not registering your car seat

Each seat comes with a product registration postcard. Tear it off and mail it in to the manufacturer. This ensures that if there are any recalls, they can get a hold of you quickly to let you know to discontinue using that seat.

If you don't register your product, you may not know that the seat you have has been recalled for straps loosening on their own...and what if yours does that in a wreck?

It is VERY important to have your car seat registered.

And I'm guilty, 0 out of 3 of mine are registered. I'm trying to justify it because I check the recall site weekly, but still, I should just send the post cards back.

If you lost your registration card, call your manufacturer and they can either register you over the phone, walk you through the process online, or send you a replacement card.

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If you haven't noticed the trend already, the only way you can ever be sure your child is as safe as possible is by checking with the manufacturer. When in doubt, consult your manual! It has the answers to EVERYTHING :)

So is there anything I missed? Feel free to send me your "deadly mistakes" and I'll add it to the list!

11 DEADLY mistakes you didn't know you were making!

2012-02-27T23:21:00.016-08:00

This post was a request from some friends, feel free to share wherever you'd like!

There are many, many more that I could write, but it would take all day, so I am touching base on the ones I see most often.

#11- That little thing that's called a chest clip...it goes on the chest, no really- IT DOES!
If your child's chest clip looks like this:

then you are doing it wrong.

This is the proper placement of the chest clip (a general rule of thumb is to have it even with the armpits, you can never go wrong if you remember that):

What could happen:

The chest clip is designed to keep the harness straps properly positioned on the child’s shoulders; this is important because the harness is the component that keeps the child restrained in the car seat. A study by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) showed that 59% of child harnesses are not tight enough. If the harness is loose and the chest clip is too low, one or both harness straps can slide off the child’s shoulders, allowing the child to potentially be ejected from the car seat in the event of a crash.

In a collision, the chest clip can cause damage and/or internal bleeding to vital organs in your child's abdominal region, which is not protected by the ribcage.

#10 Harness straps should fit snugly!

The easiest way to check to see if your harness straps are too loose is the pinch test. Secure your child in the car seat and buckle the harness as usual. Using your thumb and pointer finger, try to pinch one of the harness straps at your child’s collarbone level. If you’re able to pinch the strap, the harness is not tight enough. You should not be able to pinch any excess

Picture borrowed from Britax, no copyright infringement intended.

Be sure that you don't get the harness straps TOO tight-there is such a thing. You don't want it digging into the child's body, making it uncomfortable for them.

What can happen:
Loose harness straps leave your child at an elevated risk of injury during a crash because they may allow your child to move out of position; they can even lead to ejection from the child seat during a crash.

#9 Installations need to be TIGHT
This video speaks volumes

If that wasn't simple enough for you...

You should not be able to move your car seat side to side more than 1inch...that's it, an inch. In a car accident, the force is much stronger than you are, so that 1 inch becomes even looser. Unless you want your child's seat thrown around like a rag doll (as shown in the video), keep their installation tight!

What can happen: besides the obvious, whiplash...severe shaking of the brain could cause swelling and bleeding and possibly death. Imagine the car seat striking the window or another passenger.

#8 Car seats expire just like your food does!
Why do car seats expire?

***Technology gets better, standards change.For example, in 2002, car seats were not even equipped with Lower Anchor and Tethers for Children (LATCH). Now however, they are a standard feature in nearly all car seats. Car seat expiration dates ensure that seats being used are current and safe for use.
***Materials wear down, just like clothes get holes in them. Nothing was made to last forever. Over time, the seat base can develop hairline fractures which may shatter in a crash, and belts can become more loose and relaxed after years of use, both causing a car seat to fail.
***Seats are only tested for a certain period. After X amount of time, manufacturers do not test seats. They cannot attest to how older seats will perform in an accident.

This is a quick 16 second video showing what happens if you get into a car accident with an expired car seat:

What could happen: see above video

#7- Washing your car seat straps
Let's face it- kids are very messy. If yours are anything like mine, their car seat straps have been covered in candy, juice, and some odd sticky stuff that you'd rather not know what it is.

So you take the car seat cover off and throw the whole thing in the washer, right? Wrong.

Harness straps may not be washed, they are not to be submerged.

Why not: Soaking the straps in even just plain water can wash away the fire-retardant chemicals on the harness and currently, there is no way to get that back. Even worse, washing with detergents that have bleach alternatives, optical brighteners, and a laundry list (no pun intended) of chemicals can weaken the integrity of the straps, causing them to fail in an accident.

Your best bet is to wipe down the straps with a damp wash cloth. If you can't fathom using only water to clean up the grime, most car seats allow the use of a mild soap like dove. Just be sure to check your manual first.

If you have already washed your straps before reading this, call your car seat manufacturer and explain the mistake. Most of them will ship you replacement straps for free as a courtesy.

#6- Incorrect harness position

So your straps are tight, the chest clip is up, you're all set! Not quite...

There are other factors that can cause a child to be injured in a car accident even when the most obvious precautions are taken.

When a child is rear facing the harness straps should be coming out AT or BELOW shoulder level. Here is a dummy-proof picture:
Picture borrowed from orbitbaby.com, no copyright infringement intended.
So why is this?

Most car collisions happen when the car is moving forward causing a rear-facing child’s back to be pressed against the seatback of the car seat. This makes it extremely important to keep the child's body from sliding upwards against the car seat's seatback.

Any additional acceleration of the child upward influences the performance of any rear-facing car seat. Also, every tiny increment of increased distance the child moves exponentially amplifies the forces on the child's body. The more a child’s body accelerates, the more the child’s head and chest are subjected to increased g-forces both at the beginning of the collision and during the deceleration after the collision.

For FORWARD FACING seats however, the harness straps need to be positioned AT or ABOVE the shoulder level.

Picture borrowed from Britax, no copyright infringement intended.

If the child is forward facing during a frontal collision, the crash forces will cause the child’s body to be thrown forward. The harness straps should be positioned at or above the child’s shoulders when forward facing to most effectively decrease the amount of distance the child will travel when propelled forward and to limit the forces on the child’s spine and shoulders.

#5 Re-using a car seat that has been in a crash

Car seats are a one time use deal.

Most car seat manufacturers state to replace a carseat after any crash regardless of the details of the crash. Here is a list of some of the popular brands, just check your manual if you don't see your brand listed here.

Combi's website says "Q: Should my car seat be replaced after a vehicle crash?
A: Combi recommends replacing a seat after any crash. This includes the seat base if it was in the vehicle when the crash occurred. "HOWEVER, If you consult your Combi Coccorro manual, it will say they follow the NHTSA guidelines and the seat may be reused after a minor crash. In this case, it would probably be best to contact the manufacturer directly in the event of an accident.

Graco says to replace the carseat after any type of crash.

Graco's FAQ page-
I was recently in an accident. Do I have to replace my child's car seat? There doesn't appear to be any damage.
Answer: Yes. You must replace your child's car seat if it was involved in an accident, no matter what. Even if there appears to be no damage to the car seat on the surface, the impact and force of a collision can cause unseen structural damage to the interior of your car seat. Any such damage may prohibit your car seat from properly protecting your child in the event of a sudden stop or crash.

Evenflo's FAQ instructs parents to discontinue using the crashed seat immediately and to contact Evenflo for additional guidance.

For Dorel Juvenile Group (Cosco/Eddie Baurer/Safety First) ever manual states "Do not use a child restraint that has been in a crash.You must get a new child restraint" Here is just one example.

Britax is one of the only brand that is safe to reuse in a minor crash. Their FAQ refers to the NHTSA criteria for carseat replacement after a crash at.

Q: What should I do with my child restraint that's been involved in a crash?

A: Britax recommends that use of a child restraint be discontinued if it has been in a severe crash. We further advise of the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) position that it is not necessary to replace a child restraint after a minor crash. A minor crash is one that meets ALL of following criteria:

* The vehicle was able to be driven away from the crash site;
* The vehicle door nearest the child restraint was undamaged;
* There were no injuries to any of the vehicle occupants;
* The air bags (if present) did not deploy; AND
* There is no visible damage to the child restraint.

Sunshine Kids products states "Do not use restraint after it has been involved in any accident. Damage to the restraint may have occurred which could impair its ability to adequately protect a child." Here is the manual, it is on page 4 of the pdf or page 7 of the manual

This holds true for the original Sunshine Kids Radian seats, but I was made aware that the Diono brand (which is what SK is now called), does in fact allow the reuse of their new seats in a minor crash. Please check your manual to be sure.

Here is a link to a Recaro manual which states on page 5 "If the ProSPORT was occupied during a crash or vehicle accident, it must be replaced. Do NOT use the child restraint again. A crash can cause unseen damage and using it again can cause serious injury or death."

Please note that the above manufacturer's crashed seat FAQs and NHTSA criteria do not differentiate between an unoccupied and occupied seat. (aside from a Recaro seat used as a booster) The car seat has been subjected to crash forces even if it was unoccupied at the time of the crash. There could be unseen damage from the stress of the crash that could potentially cause the seat to fail to properly protect a child in the event of another crash.

If you have been in an accident and your car seat should have been replaced, immediately contact your car insurance agent and explain the situation. The majority of insurance companies will reimburse you or pay for new seats after an accident. I was able to get Progressive to pay for 3 car seats, totaling over $600, for an accident that had occured over a year before, once I learned that crashed seats couldn't be used.

If you have any problems with your insurance company not cooperating, shoot me an email and I will be happy to provide you a form letter that has worked in every situation.

#4- Purchasing a used car seat

Everyone loves a good deal! Consignment stores, friends...Craigslist, the mecca of bargain shoppers.

Any given day, you will get hundreds of results if you search your local Craigslist for a deal on a previously owned car seat.

There are some things you must not buy used, underwear would be on that list.

However, I'll try to stay on the subject of car seats.

What is wrong with a used car seat you might ask...well, the problem is, we just don't know. So many people just want to make a quick buck and you can't verify the safety of anything that you don't know the full history of. Has it been used in a car accident? Did the owner ever wash the straps? Is it expired? Believe me, when someone is wanting to make a sale, they are less inclined to disclose truthful details and will more often than not, tell you what you want to hear.

We already know what could possibly happen if you buy a faulty seat, so let's just skip the "what if's" and only buy new. It may cost a little bit more, but your child's life is invaluable.

#3- Winter coats and car seats don't mix

I can't really put this into words any better than these videos, so take a quick look.

#2 No Aftermarket Products!

Most simply put: If it didn't come with your car seat, it isn't safe to use.

Those cute little puppy dog harness covers, the newborn head support, the notorious JJ Cole. All of these (and ANYTHING that attaches to your car seat) are not only potentially dangerous because they alter the seat or affect the harness fit, they also void manufacturer warranty in the event of a crash and the car seat fails.

#1- Use the LATCH system OR the seat belt...NOT both

Often times, I have heard moms tell me that they install their car seats with the latch and then the seat belt, just as a precaution. The common misconception is that using both is doubly safe. In fact however, it is the opposite.

It seems like common sense that it would hold the seat in place better, but actually, a car seat is supposed to be able to move and flex a small amount during an accident to absorb some of the impact. If you used both, it could possibly cause too much of the force to be transferred to the child...or having two straps could simply put too much stress on the car seat's belt path, causing the plastic to break and have the child and car seat fly out of the windshield.

Truth of the matter is this: we don't know WHY we can't do it, all we know is that EVERY.SINGLE. car seat manufacturer says not to, so it would be safe to assume that it has failed for some reason or another. Since they don't release crash test info, we can only speculate on theories.

****Feel free to "follow" this blog or check back
regularly. If you enjoyed this, see part 2 or for a more condensed version, click here****